How can you respond to an insult? Insulting attacks: the essence and causes of the phenomenon

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Everyone had to deal with rudeness, degrading “outbursts”, and boorish remarks made towards oneself. And the question of how to respond to aggression and insults is a painful topic, discussed more than once, but has not lost its relevance.

While our society is not ripe for those deprived of emotional negativity, among its members.

Insulting attacks: the essence and causes of the phenomenon

Individuals who regularly practice humiliation techniques for others are rarely capable of reasoned, fact-based statements. Without understanding this, we get offended and respond to the inappropriate outbursts of rude people in a way that we should not. Although a set of recommendations on how to properly respond to insults and respond to the offender was developed a long time ago - and it is effective.

Those who like to insult others – who are they?

1. Weak, unhappy people who pour out excess anger and self-doubt on those around them.
2. Energy vampires who seek to evoke a response emotion - for the sake of feeding someone else's energy.
3. Boors and insolent people, poorly educated and not concerned with the goal of filling this gap.
4. Aggressors and innate bullies, for whom life without showdowns and demonstrations of “bad power” is boring.
5. Individuals filled with empty vanity, satisfying their “ego” by humiliating those who come into view.
6. Unrestrained individuals prone to emotional outbursts who cannot curb their nature.
7. Drunkards, drug addicts and idiots who have lost the ability to think.

React or remain silent - which is better?

Learning to skillfully respond to rudeness is useful - no matter what the genetics and motivation of this kind of manifestation are, in what social environment and under what circumstances you encountered such a nuisance. Since official methods of dealing with troublemaker-provocateurs in our conditions are not enough (although the law provides for punishment for violations of this kind), it remains to master the “fighter’s course” yourself.

But before you decide on a strategic line, think about whether it’s even worth traumatizing your psyche over some nonsense. Agree, for every reason, spending your nerves and racking your brains over how to “settle” the situation wisely is not always a justified activity. Often, ignoring the tirade of a lone jester, who is unlikely to appreciate your wit and skill as a polemicist, is the most rational choice.

Nature of humiliation - type of criticism - worthy response

It is not for nothing that we have combined interrelated concepts into a chain - the success of repelling an attack, which can look and be interpreted differently, depends on their analysis and competent application. Having time to figure out whether there are justified claims hidden under sharply unpleasant phrases, and parrying the blow in a timely manner is the fundamental rule of the target of the attack. If you are not sure of the real basis for attacks, ask the question: “Do you have a specific proposal?”

Of the tips on how to respond to insults at work, this move is the most winning method figure out what the rough form of the provocateur phrase is connected with. An adequate author of an offensive verbal string will be forced to justify the harshness of his opinion or change the tone of the conversation. In a situation where the accusation was made publicly, but only some part of it is true, it would be better to say “Yes, today I was slow/late/made a mistake, but it wasn’t always like this.”

If the reproach phrase is absolutely unfair and sounds downright rude, it makes sense to use the tactics of counter-questions. There are several types of them.

— Clarifying. “What are we talking about?”, “What exactly interests you?”, “What exactly did you want to say?” An attempt to clarify the idea drives the initiator into a dead end. But the response: “Don’t you guess?” or another attack-accusation will alienate colleagues, which will not please the rude person.
- Factual. This is a requirement to present facts-examples-evidence. It is formulated something like this: “Please confirm,” “I would like to hear examples.” Since we are not destined to wait for examples, all that remains is to summarize: “You have nothing to say on the matter.”
- Alternative. Their function is to push the interlocutor to formulate counterclaims or, conversely, to admit that you have nothing to present. An alternative question sounds like this: “Maybe you don’t like the way I dress or the way I communicate with clients?” This is a direct hit on target.
- Devastating. A typical sample: “You are not satisfied with the way I make plans, my appearance, my manner of speaking. What else don’t you like?” Such a conclusion question is also suitable for recommendations on how to respond to an insult from your boss - if your tyrant boss deserves it.

Of course, you need to be careful with leaders. The optimal method of dealing with a rude boss is to leave, making it clear that you will not support a conversation in such a spirit. Or pretend that they didn’t hear the humiliating words, asking again: “How, how? Repeat - I got distracted and didn’t get the point.” The repetition will probably sound softer. In any case, you cannot allow an arrogant boss to wipe his feet on himself.

If a person dear to you does not consider it necessary to restrain himself, talk to him frankly. Not in a moment of conflict, but in a calm environment conducive to exchange. The ability to dot the “i”s is extremely necessary for those who value relationships and intend to continue them. A guy should approach the question of how to react to insults from a woman with understanding: he is biologically susceptible to mood changes.

Most men cope with this problem quite well and do not need education. The number of wives over whom was and remains critical. Helping the female audience cope with such a misfortune, let us remind you: you need to start a conversation about how to respond to your husband’s insults by analyzing the relationship between father-in-law and mother-in-law. Lack of respect for the woman-mother in the family of parents leads to violence against the future spouse.

If you have enough gentleness, tact, and patience to “restructure” the views of your “strong half” on marriage and true role the head of the family in it - praise and honor for your efforts. This happens quite often. Otherwise, a normal atmosphere in the family will not be achieved - not only for you, but also for your descendants. Think about it, evaluate your strengths - and make a decision.

10.09.2013

21991

We all have to deal with rudeness, insults and rudeness from time to time. And those of us who do not know how to react correctly to insults have to endure resentment, get angry and accumulate depression within ourselves. Many, not knowing how to adequately respond to an insult with their rash words, deeds and actions, provoke serious conflicts and, neglecting common sense, enter into “internecine wars.”

It happens that a person, not knowing how to respond to an insult, uses his fists, sometimes even in cases where the situation does not require the slightest reaction. The inability to respond to the bully with a word, the inability to find the right words in order to put the bully in his place is the cause of bad mood, stress, health problems, suicide, fights and even murders. You say, am I overdramatizing the situation? But this is true!

In order to learn how to respond to insults, it is not enough just to memorize beautiful phrases and expressions, you need to understand what an insult is, what its motives are in each specific case, learn to react (it’s not about what to answer, but about the psychological reaction to rudeness, humiliation and criticism), and of course wisely, with dignity and beautifully respond to these barbs.

So what is insult? Insult is a deliberate insult, humiliation of a person’s honor and dignity, often expressed in a rude and indecent form. In addition, as verbally, insult can be inflicted in writing or in the form of actions (obscene gesture, pushing, spitting, slapping, etc.), openly or in the absence of a person.

Insult is always a negative assessment, given behavior and human qualities, in a form that contradicts socially accepted rules of behavior, morality and ethics. In most countries, insult is a crime, which, in theory, should always be followed by inevitable punishment (in Russia, after Article 130 of the Criminal Code lost force, insult is an administrative offense, and liability for it is provided for in Article 5.61 of the Administrative Code). However, in this article we will omit the moment of this kind of reaction as defending honor and dignity in court, and will try to figure out how to react and respond to insults on our own.

Today there are many different psychological techniques, which can help to adequately respond to an insult. However, each of them is based on an initial understanding of the intentions and goals of the offender who inflicts “poisonous injections.” Therefore, in order to competently parry an insult and put the presumptuous interlocutor in his place, you first need to understand the hidden motives of your opponent and take care of the antidote.

How to respond to insults and accusations

You were accidentally or deliberately scolded. To the point? Did it hurt? Remember that any feeling or emotion, including insult (resentment combined with a feeling of severe humiliation) arises inside a person. Therefore, we cannot be offended, we can only be offended.

First of all, you should not take the insult literally and take every word personally. If your abuser is in a bad mood or has a bad manners, this does not mean that it is your fault.

In order for a person to learn how to react correctly to insults, it is important to know that the one who splutters and behaves inappropriately, throwing insults left and right, is himself a victim. A victim of his eccentric nature. Usually, people who attack and humiliate others are weak. They are unable to cope with negative emotions and therefore take them out on others. As a rule, someone also offended them, and they themselves are unable to cope with the bitterness that overwhelms them, so they “drain it” in this way (often people insult and are rude out of envy). So is there any point in being offended by a toadstool?

How to respond to insult if the offender is yours close person? If you value relationships, then it’s worth talking and dotting the T’s. Calmly and openly tell him that his words hurt you deeply (namely, the words of loved ones hurt us most deeply, even when we seem to have learned to calmly react to insults from strangers, strangers or just acquaintances). Discuss the situation and you will feel better.

The most preferable reaction to insults stranger- ignoring. Simply don’t notice the rude person (of course, if the situation does not require the opposite behavior), imagine that he is not nearby, and the opinion and words of a stranger are empty words. If you are not one of those people wanting to be liked by everyone, then this will be easy for you.

If you are insulted by a work colleague or boss, remember that carefully avoiding the conflict will always be more profitable. You can respond to the words of a colleague who still can’t calm down and who is not affected by your silence with some neutral barb. And the boss is not to be trifled with. Therefore, it is better to listen to the opinion of psychologists who advise in this situation not to conflict and not to respond to insults, but to imagine your leader as a capricious little child who whines and fights all the time. Mentally patting him on the head, calm him down. Feed him semolina porridge and sit him on the potty. Those who have tried this method say that the effect is amazing. Not only does it make you smile and easily endure offensive remarks, it will also give you inner strength, which your boss will definitely notice.

Training calm reaction to insults will bring you exclusively dividends, namely positive mood, increased performance, steadfastness and balance. By learning to respond to aggressive attacks with serene calm (this can be expressed both in words and actions, and in silence), you will always be able to disarm the offender and make him think about whether it is worth behaving this way with you.

How to properly respond to an insult, given the type of criticism

Before responding to an insult, quickly analyze what was said, and if it seems more like constructive criticism (the insult, in fact, has nothing to do with what we are), immediately admit that you are wrong, start with “Yes”: “ Yes, you are absolutely right." If you doubt the reasons for the attacks and don’t know how to respond to a barb or remark addressed to you, ask a clarifying question. For example, if the matter does not concern your real omissions or mistakes, and the angry tirade uttered by your opponent is intended to belittle and insult you, then the phrase “Do you have a specific proposal?” will baffle him. An adequate person, even in the case of a harsh statement, will justify his opinion and offer other options.

If you agree with, albeit unpleasant, but fair criticism, do not apologize unless absolutely necessary. Just agree, people who constantly apologize look not confident.

If the insult or accusation is only partially true, admit it partially. For example, they tell you that you are always late (this hardly seems like an insult, but if it is said in a rude and aggressive manner, and even in public, someone may consider it as such). A decent response would be something like: “Yes, I was late today.” Or here’s another example: “You are an illiterate specialist and constantly make spelling mistakes.” A worthy response to an insult would be the phrase: “Yes, there are two spelling errors in this report».

A completely unfair insult can be answered with a counter-question asked on the merits of the rudeness. They can be of several types:

Clarifying questions such as: “Why do you think so?”, “What exactly do you mean?”, “Why are you personally interested in this?”, “What did you mean by this?” etc., rarely, but they give results. If a person starts answering them, he will quietly drive himself into a dead end. However, you shouldn’t count on this (although you can try); after clarifying questions, the insulter, as a rule, does not calm down (he also uses an unfair type of criticism, without justifying his rudeness) and answers something like: “Don’t you guess?” or “What I mean is that you are a slacker and a mediocrity.” You should be patient, of course, if you want to respond to the insult in a civilized manner, and continue to calmly ask further.
Factual questions are a call to voice facts and give examples: “Names, appearances, passwords?”, “Please state the facts,” “Give an example,” etc. If your denigrator answers these questions with general phrases: “There are many examples and facts that can be cited...”, “You yourself understand everything perfectly...”, etc., continue to “torture” him further or stop the dialogue with the phrase, they say, you don't even have anything to say.
Alternative questions will help the offender formulate specific complaints and say what he is really dissatisfied with: “Maybe you are not satisfied with my lack of punctuality or the way I dress and look? Maybe you don’t like the way I communicate with customers or the way I make reports?” Here, perhaps, you will hear a specific answer, unless, of course, your opponent really has something to show you. If there is, then proceed according to the above scheme.
Devastating questions: “You are not satisfied with the way I make reports, the way I look, the way I communicate. What else doesn’t suit you about me?” they ask so that your critic or the person insulting you will express everything and not touch you for as long as possible.

It is likely that leading questions that you ask in a calm tone will cause amazement and even indignation in the critic. This is normal and means that he feels your advantage in this situation. He is used to people making excuses to him or being obediently silent, and you are kindly trying to figure everything out and take into account specific and objective comments as soon as they are voiced.

How to respond to insults: general rules

The first thing a person who doesn’t know needs to learn how to respond to an insult- this is that in no case should one descend to mutual insulting accusations and thoughtless reactions. Firstly, from the outside it looks very stupid and funny. Secondly, maybe you are succumbing to some manipulative influence. So why start playing by someone else’s rules, with the possibility of being caught in cleverly placed nets.

In most cases, it is better to respond to insults not only politely and culturally, but at least calmly and with self-esteem. In some situations (for example, in the case of trolling), the best response is to completely ignore the offender.

If you are calm by nature and well-mannered person, That respond culturally to an insult for a born boor it is quite difficult and most often pointless. You are obviously a loser because you start playing on someone else’s site and by someone else’s rules. You must stay in your field. If you can answer calmly and reasonably, then answer, but another problem is that the boor’s receptors that perceive your arguments do not work. Therefore, it is best to turn around and leave. This is the easiest way to respond to an insult.

Often, when responding to criticism, people make a mistake - they begin to make excuses: no, I’m not like that, you’re unfair to me, I’m not to blame... Excuses put you in a humiliated position - this, firstly. Secondly, they are not interesting and not needed, as a rule, they are not even listened to. Agree, it is stupid to make excuses in front of a person for whom saying some kind of barb or insult is a desire to play on emotions, a way of self-affirmation (in this situation you can ask, “Well, have you asserted yourself at my expense?”) or a desire to stand out. Therefore, when listening to insults, always try to understand why they want to insult you.

Everyone has difficult days, and perhaps a rude remark came out of your interlocutor’s mouth by accident. In this case, the question is “Bad day?” will be sufficient. Normal person will agree and apologize for the harshness. However, asking such a question to a “troll” is not The best way respond to the insult, as this may cause a whole stream of unpleasant expressions in your direction from him.

Sometimes it is not necessary to respond to an insult; it is enough to simply ask the person non-aggressively or even friendly about what he said. Pretend that you did not hear or, lost in thought, simply did not pay attention to his statement. Only an outright rude person will repeat the insult.

If you still decide to respond to the offender, and it doesn’t matter whether the situation requires it or you just wanted it, you shouldn’t rush at your opponent directly with objections. Be calm, suppress accusations and insults with well-aimed and witty answers, but only after you have fully listened to all the attacks against you. Firstly, you will have time to think and find a sharp word, and secondly, you will be able to moderate your ardor and maintain sobriety of thought. And if this is a situation where your attacker is acting on emotions (i.e., this is not a planned and carefully thought out attack), you can give him the opportunity to completely discredit himself.

Some attacks can be responded to with humor. When an insult doesn’t seem to be an insult at all, but just a harmless mockery, or when you need to respond and defuse the situation without spoiling the relationship, a joke is quite appropriate. This technique has one more advantage. It will protect you from further insults and attacks from a person who takes pleasure in seeing his victim experience anger or some other negative emotion. After all, if you react to his attacks with a smile, then you don’t care, and you don’t even think about getting angry, offended or swearing. Humor will calm down the rude person, putting him into a stupor. And he seemed energetic vampire will go in search of a new victim.

You should not joke if the insults are serious, affecting your honor and dignity. Otherwise, both the offender and those around you will decide that they can safely “wipe their feet” on you.

How to learn to respond to insults and not provoke new ones

It will help you to emerge victorious from any verbal duel and put your presumptuous interlocutor in his place. ability to quickly formulate thoughts. In order to learn how to respond to insults wittily and, most importantly, in a timely manner, do not hesitate to arrange comic duels with your acquaintances, friends or work colleagues. Remember that in each fight you gain the necessary experience and skill.

There are people who are rude more often than others. There is such a thing as the psychology of the victim. Sacrificial people who are easy to offend (he has such an appearance, he behaves this way, it is clear from him that he cannot respond to an insult) will always find their boor. Here you need to ask yourself: “Why do people talk to me like that? Maybe the problem is me if this happens periodically?

Often people are unable to somehow respond to an insult due to their own insecurity, low self-esteem or natural shyness. Having heard unpleasant words addressed to them, they, overwhelmed by fear, cannot utter a word. Needed here A complex approach– once you start fighting these qualities, constantly practice your ability to respond correctly to insults. And remember, the reaction to rudeness and boorish behavior must come from the depths of inner steadfastness.

In addition, fear, transmitted through some absolutely unimaginable channels, can spur the offender to more and more rudeness. So at any time conflict situation, including responding to insults, you must, first of all, curb your fear. We are designed in such a way that, not knowing how to defend ourselves from insults, we involuntarily begin to breathe deeper, strain our eyes, clench our fists or cross our legs and arms. In such situations, try to monitor your emotions and consciously control your external manifestations.

How to intelligently respond to an insult: examples, situations, phrases

When insulting, people often use stereotyped expressions. Therefore, to know how to properly respond to an insult, you can make a list of frequently observed rudenesses and come up with adequate responses to them.

To make it more clear to you in which direction to move, I suggest you familiarize yourself with typical insults and possible options worthy reaction. Perhaps my answers were not original enough, I’m sure you can come up with better ones.

If an ill-wisher with a false note in his voice notices that yesterday’s feast makes you look bad, thank him for his concern, and in turn show concern for appearance offender: “It’s strange, it seems like you spent the whole evening at home yesterday, but you still look rumpled. Look at the bruises under your eyes.” Well, or say that you forgot to look in the mirror because you were in a hurry to get to work, and then, taking a quick glance at the insolent person, joyfully add: “Oh, I see, you don’t like to look in the mirror either.”

You can respond to an insult by translating negative qualities, which are attributed to you as virtues. - “You are verbose and talkative.” - "Just me sociable person».

If you are insulted and accused, you can remind the person of the expression: “We are what we think about” or famous saying“Whoever is in pain talks about it,” or say, “Don’t judge by yourself.” The point is this: we often suspect those around us of what we ourselves are capable of, and we need to explain to the person that with his insults he characterizes himself rather than you.

You can turn the reproach into reverse side and ask the aggressor how he managed to achieve such outstanding results, master skills that you do not possess, acquire such wonderful character traits (this can be done in a sarcastic or serious manner):

- “You are crooked!” - “How do you manage to keep your hands straight?”
- "You first day at work, and have already shown themselves to be a worthless incompetent.” – “Share your experience. Tell me how you manage to keep your cool in stressful situations?”

How to smartly respond to an insult about your clothes:

- “Are you dressing at the Chinese market?” “It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, even beggarly rags will look like a chic dress on my figure.

If the offender, wanting to belittle the value of the work you have done, says that you used bad remedies, not those tools or methods, you can say that, despite the originality of the means used in the work, it was done above all praise and the result speaks for itself.

Try respond intelligently to an insult, addressed to you in a bar, restaurant or store is not worth it (unless only to hone your skills of caustic and quick attacks). The correct reaction would be to call the administrator or ask for a complaint book. Several such complaints and the rude employee will be fired.

If you have to listen to insults from a certain official, then you just need to very politely ask him to tell you his position, as well as his full name. Those who use this technique to cool the ardor of a careless employee know that it works great. It feels as if at that moment a tub of cold water was poured on him.

You can respond to an insult like the luminous Buddha - radiant smile and wishing the offender all the best. Of course, such a reaction is not always appropriate and will not suit everyone, because each case of insult is individual and people are different, so there cannot be universal answers. Choose the tactics that suit you best. Try, experiment, but do it wisely.

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UralAkhuralny

Vyacheslav

Catherine

Katerina

Humiliation is a serious blow to a person's well-being and self-esteem. Are you tired of enduring bad attitudes at work or in your family? Can you say about yourself “I am being humiliated”? Many of us succumb to such manipulation, but if you are serious about stopping it, you need to take decisive action. How to stop humiliating yourself and increase your self-esteem? A few tips from a psychologist will help you with this.

Many have faced in their lives the problem of humiliation and misunderstanding on the part of others. This phenomenon is mainly common in children's team. Sometimes it is reflected in adult life.

First of all, it is necessary to remember that insults are not of an informational nature. You are not really what they want you to believe. When you are humiliated, they simply want to convey aggressive bad energy and provide bad mood.

Let's look in more detail at the question: what to do if you are humiliated. First of all, remember that the aggressor’s goal is to knock the ground out from under your feet, to put you in a state of confusion, to make you angry, to violate the integrity of your mental state.

Don’t give in to provocation, don’t show that you’re fed up with it. Under no circumstances should you cry, become hysterical or “freaking out” in front of the offender. By showing these signs, you will let the offender know that he was able to achieve his goal.

Do some self-reflection

Write down on paper a list of your positive and negative qualities. It is advisable to add to the list regularly as they appear. Consider each point (especially negative traits) and observe in what situations they are expressed. What's stopping you from getting rid of them? What provokes it?

You can also ask family and friends to analyze your behavior. Let them point out the traits that need correction. Now, understanding what the main problem is, it will be easier to deal with it. Weakness, shyness, fear of communication and even kindness are the reasons why you are humiliated.

Figure out for yourself whether such a game suits you or not, and then you can draw conclusions on what to do if you are humiliated. You can always find a way out. You just need to watch the offender a little, find him weak spots. Let us highlight a number of ways to get out of a conflict situation: the most correct thing would be to leave, citing urgent matters.

At the same time, do not forget to give a businesslike facial expression and hide your offense. If you succumb to provocation and in response also begin to humiliate the offender, it means that you are a loser and you have been hit to the quick.

Come out of a conflict situation calmly, with a proud, independent look. It is best to say that you will answer all your questions tomorrow. Return to the conversation when the person starts talking to you without threats or humiliation.

How to stop being humiliated

If ignoring you doesn’t help and if you are humiliated and the bullying continues, calmly tell the person that you will contact the police. Don’t explain anything, don’t threaten in response, just say that there is someone to stand up for you.

In situations where you are humiliated and this seriously interferes with your life, it makes sense to really turn to someone who can stand up for you - parents, older brothers or sisters, management, the police. As said famous character Gosha from the film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears”, such people should know that for every force there is another force.

You shouldn’t immediately give up professional help a psychologist if you are constantly humiliated. People prefer not to waste time and money on psychologists, but in vain. After all, success in life largely depends on the psychological attitude and the ability to manage one’s own bad traits. Trainings are good way find friends in misfortune. In addition, they are conducted completely anonymously.

Noticing that improvements have come, you are no longer humiliated, do not rush to relax. If you slow down, the effect is reduced to zero. Therefore, never stop, work and work on yourself again. By humiliating yourself once, you give a reason for a second time, etc. It is better to develop immunity to humiliation from the very beginning.

Improve yourself internally, but don’t forget about your appearance, since modernity forces you to meet people according to it. Don't be afraid to change. A beautiful, stylish hairstyle and clothes can make you a completely different person, confident in yourself and your abilities.

Don’t forget that you are not the only one with this problem! Have you seen your colleague being humiliated? It is necessary to inform him about this in a non-rude manner. Talk to him about what you went through. It is in this way that you will be able to gain a person’s trust; soon he will begin to listen to your recommendations.

Don't forget to be proud of yourself for all the results you achieve. It doesn't matter what area you improve in, never stop!

My husband insults and humiliates me - what to do?

"Hello! I need your help. My husband humiliates me and it seems to me that I am starting to go crazy from living in constant fear. The problem is this. We dated for six months, got married, but then broke up.

The reason for the breakdown of our relationship was that he wanted to make me look like his friends. I stopped in time, not allowing myself to be humiliated like that. I am not indifferent to this person, but I am not able to forgive this. Besides, I understand that he doesn’t need me.

But he doesn't leave me alone. He distributed my number to everyone he knew with the note “girl prostitute", made a montage of my photos and posted them on a porn site and a dating site.

He calls me every day and keeps track of me, no matter how many times I change phone numbers. I'm really scared. Please advise what to do next. Thank you in advance. Olga Borisova."

Psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers

Of course, you found yourself in a very unpleasant situation - a seemingly close person, but it hurts so much... It was a relationship where you were humiliated. And you write that you broke up six months ago.

But let me assume that your relationship is still ongoing. In the sense that you continue to be humiliated, but you tolerate it. For what? Living in constant fear - how much of this is in your life (family, work, communication)?

Usually psychologists do not give advice, leaving the right of choice to the person. I will break this tradition. If I were you, I would try to take care of myself. First I would give him a warning.

If this does not help, then I would contact the police - his actions are punishable. Know what you have every right(moral, civil, etc.) defend yourself, your privacy, boundaries, dignity. The only question is why you don't use it.

IN modern society a lot of aggressive people, since the frantic rhythm of life leaves its mark on the mood, behavior and interpersonal communication. At a certain period of life, people collide with each other, so avoiding conflicts is quite difficult. Sooner or later you will find yourself in the line of fire with someone who is hurling insults. At such moments, you must fight back your opponent. Some start a fight, others react calmly. Let's consider all the methods in order.

Method No. 1. tediousness

The boring technique is quite common among intelligent people. If you are superior to your opponents in mental development, consider this option. If your interlocutor is trying to insult you, give him an analogy from scientific literature.
For example, you were reproached for having a mess on your desktop, as if you had evolved from a pig. Find your bearings in time and answer: “Darwin has repeatedly proven the fact that pigs are in no way related to humans. They don't work at a desk, so they can't create clutter in the workplace. Read the book to make more accurate arguments in the future!”
In addition to the fact that the fact will hurt the offender, the opponent will be confused. You will have enough time to plan further dialogue. Not many people have scientific information, such a move will put the boor in an awkward position.

Method No. 2. Ignoring

Not every person can muster the will to turn on the ignoring mode, and besides, such behavior is not always appropriate. However, there are often cases when this tactic comes in handy.
If the insult is of a petty nature, the best option there will be a smile. Smile at one corner of your lips, thinking to yourself how much better the world would be without fools. If a person is narrow-minded and even stoops to base insults, show contempt.
Don't hold back your positive attitude. You can laugh in your opponent's face without responding with words. Make it clear that rudeness does not offend you at all, even if the situation is different.
The tactic of ignoring is to prove to your opponent his stupidity. It is possible that he will become even more furious when he sees your reaction. Namely, that his words not only do not bother you, but also amuse you.
If the person is sane, you can accompany the smile with a polite phrase. For example, “Is it just me or did you have a bad day?” If a person belongs to the category of boors, your attack will cause even greater discontent.
Unfortunately, modern world degrades, so it is important to use the ignoring technique correctly. It is suitable for arguing with ill-mannered people who do not watch their language.
Never try to justify yourself if you see that the insult is inappropriate. Again, it is better to ignore the attacker, smiling maliciously in response. Do not cross into the offender’s territory; such a move will obviously be a losing one.

Method number 3. Calm

The previous options, namely “Ignoring” and “Boring,” are sarcastic methods. You suppress the offender through malice, some kind of mockery. A this method differs in that you need to respond to insults in a calm tone.
Don't swear or use curse words or raise your voice several tones. Answer with a slight smile and be friendly. Find out what exactly doesn’t suit your interlocutor. Try to analyze the situation “piece by piece”.
Such behavior shocks the opponent, and some begin to feel awkward. A conflict situation often ends with an apology from the offender. This option will prevent the scandal from developing into a disaster.
If you have peace of mind and if you want to maintain harmony in your heart, do not respond with evil to insult. When it is difficult to achieve this, take 5 deep breaths and the same number of exhalations, and then proceed to further dialogue.

Method number 4. Gratitude

The technique of gratitude is also called “Aikido”. Of course, experienced specialists do not advise engaging in assault. The technique consists of transferring aggression from the opponent to himself.
This option is suitable for people who are offended in the presence of colleagues or other large crowds of people. In such situations, it is important to defend your honor, but it must be done correctly.
Tell the other person that you are extremely grateful to him. For what? Because he spent a lot of time listing your shortcomings. Also clarify that you wouldn't do that because you don't care about him.
It is important that there is no sarcasm in your answers. The main thing is to be serious and calm, as if you were casually paying attention to the offender. By demonstrating fortitude, you will emerge victorious from the skirmish while saving face.
Conclude with another thank you. Let him know that in the evening you will think about your own shortcomings and try to correct them in the near future. As practice shows, such an answer misleads boors. At the same time, all the “viewers of the show” will definitely take your side.

Method No. 5. Revelation

In most cases, insults family circle or among close friends, you can eliminate it in time if you bring your opponent into a frank dialogue. It is important to step over your pride and stop resisting, then start manipulating.
Report to a loved one, that it is unpleasant for you to listen to such claims. Try to find out what they are supported by. If the arguments are true enough, listen and draw conclusions.
If you're in pain, let me know. As a rule, most situations are resolved peacefully. If people are dear to each other, they will be able to find a solution to any problem.
If we are talking, again, about family or friends, try to forgive the offender in advance. You yourself understand that irritation and indignation do not appear out of nowhere. Since the person is dear to you, try to understand and forgive him.

Method number 6. Humor

Positivity is everything! The recommendation is especially relevant in cases with poorly educated or close people. A good joke or a positive reaction to an insult will smooth out rough edges.
To defuse the atmosphere, you need to have a sense of humor. When you repel attacks in this way, the other person will become confused. His concentration will be broken as the insults take a different turn.
Further development of the scandal will become irrelevant after both laugh at the joke. It is important to reflect negativity in a timely manner so that it does not develop into something more.
Of course, not all situations need to be laughed off. For example, if you were insulted on the way to work (in a traffic jam or public transport), the best option is distancing. Move away from the offender, making it clear that his company is unpleasant for you.

Win-win phrases

There are many phrases that will help you emerge victorious from a conflict situation. You can remember the ones you like and then use them for their intended purpose.

“Excuse me, are you finished?”
“What a pity, I thought you were a man with brains!”
“I can say for sure that the image of a boor does not suit you! Although…"
“Dear, please slow down. I'm not your wife (brother, matchmaker)"
“By your tone, one can understand that you have confused the shores...”
“With your behavior, do you want to achieve the truth or a flattering answer?”
"For what educated person expose your shortcomings for everyone to see?”
“Don’t worry about me so much...”
“By getting personal, are you trying to compensate for your lack of intelligence?”
“Thank you for your interest in my person and life in particular. Your call is very important for us..."
“Why are you trying to offend me? Are you an energy vampire?
"Beautiful weather, isn't it?"

There are basic techniques that will allow you to save face and respond to insults with dignity. The most common options are boring, positive, ignoring, calm, gratitude and revelation. You will also find useful universal phrases that can be used in controversial situations.

Video: how to respond to insults

First their classmates cling to them, then their colleagues. What to do if you are called names? There is no need to panic or ignore the offender. You need to be able to stand up for yourself. How to do it? Read all the details below.

Understand the reason

If a person clings to you or begins to insult you, you need to put yourself in the position of this individual. Before deciding what to do if you are called names, try to find out why the bully is doing it. The most common reasons:

It hurts to realize that he is wrong, and when he runs out of arguments, he breaks into a scream. In a fit of outburst of emotions, you can say various nasty things.
Inflated ego. A person with high self-esteem loves to mock others. Such individuals do not offend those who can answer them. They choose weak individuals who can be put under pressure by authority or intimidated by force.
The desire to vent anger. All people need emotional release. Some people splash out their emotions by playing sports, some are engaged in creativity, and some insult others. What to do if you are called stupid? Think about whether the person really thinks so, or whether he had a hard day and decided to choose you as an object for emotional release.

There's no point in being offended by the obvious

Do you often get called names? Think about what offensive words are heard with enviable frequency. Perhaps they tell you that you are short, tall, or have glasses. Is this really true? What should you do if you are called names like this? Don't be offended by the truth. Yes, you may be taller than others, but this is your advantage over them, not a disadvantage. If you are short, consider this feature of your appearance as your unique feature. Do you wear glasses? There's nothing wrong with that. A person should not be upset by the truth. Make peace with your appearance and try to love it. There is nothing you can do about your physical disabilities. You need to learn to accept them. Each person is unique, and red hair, freckles, big lips or nose. Take them for granted - and then the insults will stop hurting you.

Control your emotions

Often a person is provoked by his peers for the reason that he does not know how to respond to criticism or insults. What to do if you are called names? You need to respond, but the reaction should not be explosive. Some people like to be called names for the reason that they shrink from any sidelong glance and begin to tremble or run away from the room. And some individuals try to cope with insults in a different way. They begin to scream wildly and insult the offender in response. People around you may be amused by your response to name-calling, and they will similarly have fun at your expense. Don't react to insults. Know how to control yourself. Do not let those around you substitute excitement or some kind of mental changes during a conversation in a raised voice. If you stop reacting violently to name-calling, the offender will be bored and will soon leave you behind.

Use a sense of humor

What can defuse the situation and lift everyone's spirits? That's right, humor. You must develop the ability to quickly find the right words, preferably sarcastic ones. An answer in this spirit will amuse not only you and your offender, but also everyone who watched the altercation. In the end, the winner is always the one who knows how to better stand up for himself, and not the one who utters hurtful words. If you understand that the person insulted you not by accident, but intentionally, humor will be doubly appropriate. You can knock down the arrogance of your interlocutor.

How to respond to an insult funny and with sarcasm? Too often good phrases come to mind late. When your mind clears and you replay the dialogue to yourself, many funny lines may come to mind. Write them down so you can incorporate them into your speech the next time you have a chance. Prepared phrases for insults will be useful for insecure people who will find any rude statement addressed to them

Sample answers

How to respond to an insult funny and with sarcasm? Use template answers. For example: “Say, I always yawn when I’m interested.” The phrase is quite original. Such an expression must be accompanied by a feigned yawn. Your composure and ability to save face will impress the offender, and he will no longer pester you.

Another possible answer: “Are you interfering in my life because yours didn’t work out?” Such responses to offensive words completely whitewash you. There is no joke here. But you still need to understand who should say such a phrase and who should not.

And another option for responding to an insult could be: “Thank you for your interest in me.” By speaking in this way, you do not provoke further conversation in any way, so you can safely walk away from the offender with your head held high.

Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself

Teenagers take insults very hard. What to do if you are called names at school? A teenager must understand that it is not always his fault that he has become an object of ridicule. Therefore, one of the good ways is to laugh at yourself. This works well if they call you names not on a regular basis, but from time to time when you find yourself in the same awkward situation. For example, you may say a word incorrectly or eat a chocolate bar in such a way that you don’t look very clean after eating. Know how to laugh at your mistakes with everyone else. But still, you shouldn’t step on the same rake all the time. Having encountered unpleasant name-calling twice, try to correct your mistake so as not to constantly listen to offensive words.

Don't make yourself a victim

Who is it customary to laugh at? Over individuals who cannot control their emotions, and over people suffering from low self-esteem. What to do if a boy calls you names? Don't let others mock and insult you. Strong personalities, which no one will touch. So get rid of the false shyness that your mother or grandmother imposed on you. Modesty and courtesy need to be dosed. IN modern life these qualities only make life more difficult, not better.

If you don't have physical strength, try to crush the offender with your intellect. In this case, you need to read more to not only seem smart person, but also to really be one.

Learn to accept yourself for who you are. You should not take unsubstantiated criticism and gross insults to heart.

Don't be afraid to ask a question

What to do if your friends call you names? Try to press for pity. Of course, this is the last method that you should resort to, but it can still be effective in relation to people who love and respect you. When you ask him why he did it? A person’s conscience must wake up, and he will apologize for his outburst. Even if a sense of pride did not allow your friend to apologize immediately, he will simply understand that it is difficult for you to tolerate jokes directed at you, and will change the style of communication with you. On the other hand, it would be useful to think about whether such friends are needed...

What to do if your parents call you names? Try the same trick. Ask your mom if she really means what she says. Not many people know how to control their emotions and for this reason they can offend in the heat of anger dear person. By cooling the parents' ardor, the child has a greater chance of being heard than if he insulted adults in response.

What not to do

Man is a complex individual. Not every person is able to give reasons for his particular action. Something is done unconsciously and subconsciously. But the result of such actions will not always be positive. Sometimes a person may be dissatisfied with his behavior. Advice on how to respond to insults was given above, and now let’s look at what not to do.

Use force. Fighting never led to anything good. Cultured man must be able to defend himself with words, not fists. It is foolish to waste your energy beating up your classmates or friends. And if this method of behavior in children can still be called acceptable, then for an adult such behavior is an indicator of low development and inadequacy.
Seek support from elders. Children and adolescents must learn to find a way out of difficult life situations on one's own. There is no point in hiding behind your mother's skirt. Classmates and friends will not be able to respect someone who does not try to solve the problem on his own, but runs to complain to an adult about his unfair treatment.
Cry. You shouldn't publicly demonstrate your weakness. Tears are a manifestation of emotional release, but still learn to hold them back until you are alone. If you cry every time you are insulted, then offensive words will be constantly thrown at you.
Scream. You can't respond to a scream with a scream. Know how to control your emotions and maintain composure. Do not show rage to the offender, because most often this is exactly what the person wants to achieve. Your calmness can infuriate the offender, and in the end he will lose his composure, not you. Remember, victory always goes to the one who managed to save face in battle.