Many of us face such a problem in everyday communication - how exactly should we address another person? Moreover, starting from the late 90s, simplified address only by name (without patronymic) is increasingly used. How should we approach this? When I was at school (I’m now 30 years old), it was drummed into our heads that we should address elders by their first and patronymic names and “you,” and they, since they are “seniors” in relation to us, have every right not only address us simply by name and “you”, but also using diminutive forms (for example, not Vladimir, but Vova). This was supposed to emphasize the difference in the age hierarchy, well known from Soviet, and even from pre-revolutionary times. It doesn’t matter who you are and what you have achieved in life, whether you have intelligence or any positive qualities, the main thing is that elders must be “listened to” and “respected”.

The latter provision also implied that, in principle, it is not at all necessary to respect any person and his personal dignity, but only on the condition that this person is significantly older than you or has a certain profession/occupies a certain position. In our country, bosses, officials, deputies, and more recently also priests (the same officials, only church ones) have always enjoyed special respect - they are even called “fathers” and “priests,” although Christ, as is known, spoke quite well on this matter definitely: “And you do not call yourself teachers, for you have one Teacher - Christ, yet you are brothers; and do not call anyone on earth your father, for you have one Father, who is in heaven; and do not be called mentors, for one Christ is your Teacher" (Matthew 23:8-10).

But if we ignore this husk and try to solve the problem in, so to speak, ideal conditions, then what should be an adequate approach to other people? I won’t undertake to answer for everyone, but for myself I chose the following strategy, consisting of 7 simple rules.
1. Initially, I address everyone as “you”, except for very young children (under 12 years old).
2. If they address me on “you,” then I also switch to “you,” but if this person does not arouse my sympathy, then I try to minimize contact with him.
3. I also address everyone who addresses me simply by name simply by name (without patronymic), no matter how old he is or what his position is (I make an exception only for a few people who are attractive to me and who It's been too many years now for them to get out of the habit of certain stereotypes.
4. I also address everyone who addresses me by their first name and patronymic (if I know it).
5. I use first and patronymic addresses only in business correspondence and in public space under certain conditions, but in everyday communication I prefer to be addressed by name, but with “you”.
6. I allow diminutive forms of names only when communicating with close people and friends.
7. I have long noticed that any familiarity quickly turns into rudeness and unacceptable violation of personal boundaries, so I still prefer to keep communication on “you” until I get to know the person better and get closer to him.

Exist psychological techniques effective communication , which help to inspire trust and sympathy in people. One of these methods is saying a person's name out loud with whom we communicate.

Feelings and emotions influence communication

Let’s imagine two completely identical communication situations, but with different partners. The first partner treats us with sympathy, the other is wary or we are unpleasant to him. Which of them is easier to convince of their correctness using the same arguments? Of course, someone who treats us positively.

This proves that, regardless of our desires, feelings and emotions influence our communication with people. Including business.

In most cases, it is impossible to separate reason and emotions. Anyone who does not take this into account, as a rule, sooner or later faces conflict situations. Because suppressed emotions and feelings at one far from wonderful time can spill out at once.

Anyone who knows that there is much more emotional in a person than rational can use it quite skillfully!

Let's observe people who have the ability to win people over and inspire trust. How do they win over their interlocutor, what psychological techniques do they use?

Firstly, such people are open and smiling, and secondly, they know how to give compliments. But most importantly, they always call the person by name!

Call me by name...

This ( call a person by name) is not a formal politeness. This is how a person is designed that the sound of his name evokes pleasant feelings in him, often unconsciously. It was this circumstance that allowed Grandfather Carnegie to say that the sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant melody for a person.

Why is this happening? There are several reasons for this.

A person hears his name from birth. Mom and dad, grandparents call the baby's name affectionately, tenderly, with love. The little man does not yet understand the words, but perfectly captures these notes of love and admiration. Pleasant moments that stay with a person forever!
By calling a person by name, we emphasize that we are interested in him and his opinion, and not in someone or something impersonal. The name is a unique symbol of personality. And any person feels if he is being infringed upon as an individual. Or he feels satisfaction if attention and respect are emphasized to him.
Positive emotions are what we always strive for, consciously or unconsciously. We called the person by name, this caused a pleasant response from him, and he forms new reciprocal feelings towards us - gratitude, sympathy and trust.

Psychological technique - in action!

So, we know the causes and mechanism of action psychological method of communication – call people by name. All that remains is to put it into practice.

As often as possible, we call by the name of the people with whom we live - wife, husband, children, relatives, friends. It is clear that they love us without it. But it’s damn nice to do something nice for your loved ones!
When greeting your work colleagues, do not forget the phrase “ Good morning!”, “hello” add the first name or patronymic name of each of them. Positive emotions will not keep you waiting! Namely, they give rise to sympathy over time.

Communicating with a person call him by name from time to time. During long-term communication, this psychological technique will work at the right moment in the way we need. True, provided that we use it regularly and constantly, and not from time to time - when we need something from a person. We win over our colleagues purposefully and constantly!
If we communicate with a person for the first time, remember his first or middle name right away! Even those who have difficulty remembering people’s names (by the way, the author of this publication is one of these people) should try to do this. How? 1.Find a reason to immediately say the name out loud. For example: “Tamara Ivanovna? It’s nice to meet you, Tamara Ivanovna!” 2. Set associations with the names of great people or our friends.
There are situations when you need to remember many names in a short time. For example, a teacher - in a class or in a student audience, or a new boss - the names of his subordinates. It is advisable to specifically set aside time for this, consider personal affairs, ask friends, etc. and be sure to remember people's names. Such efforts will not be in vain!

P.S. Do you use this psychological communication technique– how often call people by name? Do you have difficulty remembering names and how do you deal with it?

To the point:

66 comments

And I thought that I was the only one who had such a problem with remembering names, Svetlana. 🙂 I have known for a long time that it is advisable to address a person by name, but, alas, when I forget someone’s name, I am embarrassed to ask about it, although it is quite possible to do this: “Excuse me, what is your first name and patronymic?”
IN Lately For some reason, I am drawn to address people (especially on the Internet), pronouncing their name in a diminutive form: Lenochka, Olenka, Natashenka. And I don’t know whether they like it or annoy them...
Very interesting topic You raised it, Sveta, thank you!

I’m not embarrassed to ask what your name is, but I don’t usually ask either - for a different reason. Every person is more or less egocentric, it seems to him that the world revolves around him, and everyone must immediately and forever remember everything that concerns him. Many people are offended if this is not the case. Now, if I feel that a person is one of those “those” people, I try to get by without asking him his name and other information.
By the way, Elena, I am also sometimes drawn to diminutive names, especially if the person is younger than me. Probably, passport age has an effect, I don’t know.
I'm glad you liked the topic, Elena. She's interesting to me too.

I agree with you, Svetlana. When you call a person by name, he listens to you even more attentively. And I’ll say for myself that it’s nice when they call me my name when talking to me.
Just now I remembered my friend, who apparently knew about this technique, and in conversations with me, he inserted my name every three words. My patience was enough for a couple of minutes, then I would find some excuse and move away from this person. I never thought that it was mine given name will irritate me so much. 🙂

Everything is good in moderation - it’s not for nothing that they say so. So your friend, Anton, abused this technique, which is why even his own name was “irritating”. You may also have intuitively sensed the insincerity of the communication. I also try to avoid such manipulators.

Depending on your personal attitude towards a person, it may or may not be pleasant if the person remembers your name. But in most cases, this wins over the interlocutor.

Of course, if you pronounce a name, for example, mockingly, who will like it! We're talking about normal communication and the ability to make it a little more successful.

I know that a person’s name pleases the ear, but I don’t always address them by name and not to everyone. it just so happened. sometimes it seems to me inappropriate to insert a name into a conversation... To especially dear people more often I address him affectionately and tenderly, using words intended for them alone, filled with meaning specifically for them... but I haven’t liked my name since childhood... at school they called me names and I developed a certain complex in relation to the name)) now I don’t have a complex, but I’m still more used to it to the name Laura already. It may not be right, but that's how it happened))
Thank you, Svetlana, for the article! I thought)))

Think about it, Laura! What is your real name?
At school they call everyone names. But school is long behind us, and we adults can overestimate the past. Our parents gave us the name, just like life. Maybe it’s better to thank them for the wonderful gifts?
Actually, it’s difficult for me to talk about the topic of dislike for a name, because... I have always loved mine...
Of course, you can and should address your family warmly, affectionately, and with “special meaning”!
- And I thank my parents for everything)) And my name is Larisa)) It’s just that since studying at the institute they called me Laura, Lorik, Lorochka and I got used to this name, I like it better)) Now my parents most often call me Lorchik) ) so in that sense everything is ok!
  - - O - deep feelings, ability to handle money. To be fully realized, however, this woman must understand her purpose. The presence of this letter in the name shows that it has a predetermined purpose and you need to use your rich intuition to distinguish it from the bustle of existence.
      
      P - the ability not to be deceived by appearances, but to delve into the being; self-confidence, desire to act, courage. When carried away, Lauras are capable of taking stupid risks and sometimes they are too dogmatic in their judgments.
      
      A is a symbol of the beginning and the desire to start and implement something, a thirst for physical and spiritual comfort.
      
      If you think about it, then basically 80 percent of this is definitely about me)))
      
      hello, when close person doesn't call me by name? in my case, my husband, and I began to notice that 2-3 people from my circle called me by name. what does this mean? maybe the problem is me?
      - I don’t know your situation, I don’t know your relationship with your husband, so I can’t answer your question, Ksyusha. But in any case, the problem can and should be looked for in yourself first of all, Ksyusha. Moreover, if it’s not only him who doesn’t call by name...
        Why not ask your husband directly: “Darling, why don’t you call me by name?” Or maybe you don’t call him by name? Try to call him more often, only sincerely, without antics.
        When they call me familiarly “Svetka,” I don’t like it, and I can say this directly: “My name is Svetlana. And I like my name exactly in this “performance”. Relatives call it that, or “Svetlanka”. Those. I can if I want to make a statement about what I want to be called. And you?

Thank you for the article!
Indeed, I noticed that if you address a person by name, then this good method establish good friendly relations with him. The main thing is that there is no falsehood.

I just love it when people call me by name when talking to me. After all, for everyone the sounds of their name are the most pleasant. Knowing this, I always try to address people by name. And I see their reaction.
You can also ask the person: “What do you like to be called?” And the next time you contact him, he will be doubly pleased.

A very good tip is to ask the person how best to address him next time. A friend of mine, for example, loves when they call her “Lyubasha,” but her name, abbreviated as Lyuba, makes her angry. Everyone is used to something from childhood.

I will give examples of the importance of this technique in medical practice. At an appointment, if you address the patient by his first name and patronymic, this calms him down and makes him receptive to the doctor’s requests or recommendations. In good clinics and sanatoriums, it is customary to call a patient from the queue by name and patronymic; This is also “good form” - in the queue people are worried, nervous, but here it’s as if they’re waiting for you (this is nice).
Still a little off topic. This technique is also important in educational institutions, in particular in high school: teacher addresses the student using “you”. For example, I was pleased when the history teacher in the fifth grade addressed me exactly like that - somehow you don’t want to be naughty when he treats you like an adult...

I agree, I also liked it when the teacher addressed me as “you.” Of course, there are not many of these in our schools; they are more accustomed to calling them “vanka-tanka” and giving orders. But those teachers who respect their students remain in the memory of the latter forever, and it is they who play the main violin in education.

Yes, this technique is now used in many areas of business. Some use it effectively, while others, as Anton wrote above, want to run away from this person. I’ve already experienced this myself :)

They say, Tanyusha: teach a fool to pray, he’ll even break his forehead. So some who are too zealous “break their foreheads” - even in such a seemingly simple matter.

It’s strange, but for some reason I don’t really like being called by my name. For some reason it seems to me that after they call my name they will start scolding and scolding me. This was probably imprinted from childhood. That's why I don't remember strangers and don't like to call them by name. But I still try to name it, only for reasons of decency.

Yes, Dilyara, it seems that your name is associated with punishment. You can get rid of resentment, forgive your parents - and you will feel better, and you will hear how beautiful the name your dad and mom gave you. 🙂

What if, after a conflict, a man stopped calling by name. He makes requests, but doesn’t call by name. Is this what we have now? business relationship?

Vera, it’s difficult for me to answer your question, because... I don’t know all the circumstances: Who is this man for you, what happened before the quarrel, during, what happens next. Perhaps the man simply has not completely forgiven you and is harboring a grudge. What kind of relationship do you have now—business or what? It’s better to either ask him or look into it in detail.
- We had a warm relationship, so loving and friendly. It seems to me that he is avoiding me and doesn’t want to communicate at all. It wasn’t even a quarrel (intimacy), my reaction, my emotions were not correct. Now I regret it, but call him I won't.
  - Perhaps he also has some doubts and regrets. That’s why he’s afraid to call or talk. According to fragmentary general information It's difficult to say anything for sure.

And I’m infuriated by managers who intrusively offer to buy something or subscribe to something, while calling me by my first name every three words. I hate this trick! We learned from the Americans, we read the Carnegies. It does exactly the opposite. I believe that when contacting to a stranger It is enough to mention his name once at the beginning of the conversation and say a warm goodbye with the mention of his name at the end.

Everything is good in moderation. You just feel that such “managers” are trying to manipulate you. And I’m not talking about this “trick” of traders, but about normal communication. It's still warmer with a name, eh?

And we have a problem with my husband, I wanted to name my son by one name, but in the end they named it what I wanted, my son is almost 2 years old and he still doesn’t call him by name, and we quarrel about this. I don’t want, I can’t, I won’t... Son and that’s it. To put it mildly, this stresses me out, I don’t know how to deal with it.

It just seems that the name is a trifle. In fact, both spouses should like the name; it is important to look for options; there are many names.
In this situation, in my opinion, to quarrel is to harm both yourself and, most importantly, the child. It’s better to try, since the situation cannot be changed, to look for options or variations from the existing name that will suit the husband. I don’t know what your boy’s name is, but, for example, Georgy could be Yura, Zhora, Gosha, Dzhorzhik, etc.
I would probably apologize to my husband for his arbitrariness and for not taking his opinion into account, but I asked him to do everything so that his son would not suffer because of parental stupidity. He just has to come to terms with the situation. Moreover, his son bears his last and patronymic names. Let the name be from my mother. And the more often he calls his son, the faster he will get used to his name. Over time, you may even like it - I know such cases.
- The son's name is Vadim, and dad wanted Roma. By the way, he made a birth certificate, I thought it would be Roma, well, he said so himself, my last and patronymic name, let it be your name. Well, in the end, he doesn’t even want to try to call him by name.
  - - The main thing is that we are willing to compromise, because... We cannot answer for another person.
      “Doesn’t want to call you by name” - maybe because you insist too much? The more we press, the higher the resistance. The female way is gently, unobtrusively, persuading. Men are susceptible to affection. And if we are aggressive, they perceive us as rivals - and in return we receive aggression.
      Try to look for options for Vadim together. Vadyusha, Vadka, Dimka... Look for analogues from the British and French. Try ASKING your husband to HELP solve the problem - tell him that you and your son can’t handle this on your own. And more kindly. And be patient. You can even start some kind of game: for every time you say the child’s name, you get a sweet kiss. And rejoice sincerely every time you hear him call his son, as if he were showering you with diamonds.
      I'm no expert, but, honestly, would act like this. Good luck to you!
      - I call Vadyusha, and I don’t press too hard, we don’t have anyone like him strong scandals, so to speak, this was my indignation 2-3 times I was silent for a long time but I see that there is no progress, I said the child has a name, call him by name, I don’t want to say, I said, you need to get used to calling him, over time you will get used to it and that’s it It will be fine and nothing will bother you. But we don’t want either Vadyusha or Vadka. It just didn’t turn out the way he wanted. That’s the whole problem, as I understand it. Thanks for the advice)))

Anastasia, there’s no need for “such strong scandals”, it’s enough that “about this” you quarrel. You also write “I don’t know how to fight”, “you need to get used to it” - these phrases already indicate your pressure. This is a man's way of influence - to put pressure, to force. And the husband, like a true man, resists pressure. This is how I see it.
And I suggest you approach it like a woman.
But, as they say, the master is the master. Looks like you don't quite understand what I mean...

Very forgotten important point specify. Sometimes it happens that a person is not satisfied with one of the forms of a name. It is better to clarify what the person wants to be called. And if you argue and prove to a person that his name is Zhorik, and not Georgy, you are unlikely to have any relationship with him a good relationship. It’s a pity that people forget about this, and then they are surprised that they are treated poorly.

You're right, Arthur. If we want to establish good relationships, it is important to respect the person’s wishes. Including what form of the name he prefers, with which form he is more comfortable.
I know that my sister loves to be called “Tanyusha.” And it’s not at all difficult for me to call her “Tanyusha”, “Tanyushka”. It’s not difficult for me - it pleases her. It’s nice to make people happy!
Thanks for your response, Arthur. 🙂

You yourself found the reason, Daria: “I didn’t like this psychological pressure so much.” Apparently your name was too much in her messages. But I don’t rule out that it was your resistance that triggered it and the reason is you. To say exactly what is “wrong”, you need to at least see the texts. But I don’t rule out your “feeling”: “like anyone, above average developed person“- this expression is very reminiscent of “I didn’t find myself in a trash heap.” Such phrases are from the vocabulary of a person with self-esteem that deviates from the norm. 🙂
- Thank you for your answer, Svetlana. Yes, I need to work on my self-esteem... The situation dragged on painfully, but the girl turned out to be a fraudster and never paid for the purchase. The moral of the story is this: if you feel that something is wrong, then it is better to trust this feeling and act accordingly.
  ZY I remember very beautiful phrase“Intuition is God’s desire to remain incognito.”
  - I'm glad you heard and understood me. Well, as for intuition - yes, we often ignore it, but we should listen. True, not for everyone: not all people have developed this feeling. But it can be developed. The main thing is to start listening to yourself and your body. Good luck, Daria! And I hope it doesn’t bother you when I call you by name.

Hello Svetlana. Here's my situation: I met a girl on the Internet. During our communication (which is two weeks), she never wrote or said my name. Why? What's wrong? Although, I call her by name both in messages and on the phone. But I don’t dare ask, because... I don’t know what her reaction will be. What should I do in this situation? Thank you in advance.

Hello Andrei. It is difficult to answer your question unambiguously: there is little initial data. There can be many reasons. What to do in this situation? You decide. I would still take the plunge and ask directly: why? It is quite possible that her reaction will be normal. We tend to often think ahead about the bad, and as a result, everything turns out to be simpler and easier. Try it! That's the only way you'll know her reaction.
- Hello Svetlana. Thank you for answering my problem so quickly. It turned out that everything was banal and simple, she was married. Something like that. Thank you again. But I will visit your blog regularly; here you can find a lot of useful things for yourself. Thank you for your work, your ability to tell a person what to do and what can be done in his difficult life situations.
  - thanks for good words, Andrey. I think you don’t have a problem after all - I think you’re lucky that everything was resolved in two weeks. It would be worse if, after a long period of relationship, when you seem to have grown together with the person, you find out about his betrayal.
    This girl... She's just miserable. Because self-sufficient and happy people don’t behave like that. And she's not yours. Wish her well - and take care of yourself. I am sure, Andrey, that you will definitely find “your” person.

Svetlana, good afternoon, I was puzzled by a question, unfortunately I couldn’t find the information I was looking for on the Internet. Some people pronounce the name of another person by “distorting” it, in the diminutive form “Svetik, Mashenka, etc.,” in the opposite form, like “Makhych, Dakha, Lyokha” and many other variations. Please tell me, from the point of view of psychology, a person making such “adjustments” in addressing another person by name, thereby expresses some specific emotions in relation to to this person, and what?

In my opinion, Natalia, it is better to consider each situation specifically. Although in general, yes, “adjustments” in the name show certain emotions of a person. The main thing is to correctly understand which ones. Here you need to “turn on” your vision, hearing, and intuition, learn to read the text “between the lines” and feel the emotional background.
Let's speculate.
Diminutive form. “Svetik” or “Mashenka” - this is what a loved one or someone who wants to be would most likely call him; or a person of older age or senior status, thereby showing a complacent attitude, perhaps a little patronizing from the height of age or status. Such an appeal may indicate that the person is pleasant and sympathetic to us.
But “Svetka”, “Mashka”, would most likely be said by a person who does not really respect the person he is addressing by name, or, again, is trying to show his superiority in age, status, etc., but with a “minus” sign " It can also be called with evil, with causticity, with contempt, with disdain. It is possible, of course, with good intentions. So, my old friend, with whom we had not seen or communicated for many years, when communication resumed, he called me “Svetka” out of habit: in his deep youth he called me that out of friendship. But I didn’t like it, and I reminded her that I had become an adult a long time ago and said that I liked my full name - Svetlana. After that, I felt that he was offended and over time the communication faded away. It must have been difficult to break the habit of childhood habits. Well, that's his problem, just like his complexes.
I like it when relatives and friends say “Svetlanka” to me (that’s what my mother and husband call me, by the way) - the letter “k” in the full name, in my opinion, gives warmth. And it doesn’t offend like the shortened name “Svetka”. I also call people who are dear to me or very pleasant affectionately.
But from little-known people, with whom you are barely familiar, “Svetlanka”, you will agree, will sound strange. Unless from an older person and said with warmth in his voice or in response to my good deed. This can also manifest the need for intimacy or the fear of losing control, the fear of competition, or even some kind of personal story. And if they approach you a little arrogantly and use a mentoring tone, then I understand that this is rather an attempt to control the situation and me.
“Mahych”, “Dakha”, “Lekha” - I would say that in general such treatment speaks of the infantilism (immaturity of a person in psychological terms) of the person who addresses him this way. Perhaps he wants to seem like a kind of smart guy, or “one of the guys.” As a rule, behind such appeals, as well as behind bravado, lies self-doubt, which they try to hide, but in fact, on the contrary, shows.
...The topic is interesting. But, really, Natalya, it’s better to analyze a specific situation, rather than talk in general.
For example, I try to call a person as he introduced himself. If you wrote “Natalya,” it means that I can only allow other variations of the name if we start communicating closer and understand that you don’t mind me calling you, for example, “Natalyushka.” And in this option I will put precisely a friendly attitude towards you and warmth. 🙂

Svetlana, I have a situation where a male colleague addresses everyone by name except me, we’ve been working together for a long time. He calls Manya by his patronymic, or “lady”, very rarely Tatyana, and very rarely Tanya will say, we are the same age. My question is why ? I got embarrassed and quickly said that my wife’s name is Tanya, I asked, so what? he said, he’s tired of it. Either he was joking, or not. When she said that I’m not very pleased that Masha, Ira, Sveta are to everyone, and Nikolaevna, “PANI” to me, in general, now she’s trying in no way. Listen, Look, etc. .d. I would like to know your opinion on this situation and how best to behave with him. Thank you.

I never thought that I would be an expert on this issue. 🙂 I figured it out more for myself. But I will try to answer you, Tatyana, the way I think.
Tatyana, it’s very difficult to understand why a person calls you that: you can’t get into his head. Perhaps he doesn’t get along very well with his wife, and her name evokes not very pleasant associations. If, on the contrary, he loves his wife, he may not want to call her by the name of other women. Maybe he’s afraid of getting closer through his name - that’s why he puts up barriers, or maybe he doesn’t associate your name with you - well, the puzzle doesn’t fit, it happens...
By calling a person only by his patronymic, we strive to depersonalize him. It seems that by itself, without a gender, it means nothing. In what cases can this happen? Rather, when he wants to either “belittle” his communication partner, or communicate “in his own way,” easily. Another reason may be the desire to distance oneself—hence the patronymic and “mrs.”
You didn’t write HOW he pronounces “pani”: with irony, with humor, seriously? Perhaps he wants to emphasize his respect for you? Or, conversely, lower you a little from the pedestal to the ground? Typically, women catch such moments well through non-verbal signals or feel them. How do you feel? Listen to yourself.
By the way, for example, I don’t like “Sveta... Ira... Tanya...” Adults still prefer their full names.
What is the best way to behave with a man? I can't give you exact advice on what to do. But I can tell you how I would behave in this case. And then decide what you will do.
In this situation, firstly, I would not be offended by the man, but would try to understand and accept: there are some reasons that prevent him from simply calling you by name. He probably himself doesn’t fully understand why this is so...
It is from a position of acceptance that you can communicate further.
I would try to ask in a confidential conversation why he calls it that way? Tell me what I would like to be called.
If the conversation did not work out (which is possible), I would act like this... Once again, when she addresses me without a name, I would remind you with a smile that my name is Svetlana or Svetlana Onufrievna - whichever is more convenient for you. And I would address him exactly the way he addresses me. If he goes by his first name and patronymic, I treat him the same way. If he is “Svetlana” - and I go to him with his full name. If he is a “lady” - and I say to him: “I’m listening to you, sir!” (and tone to tone). Well, if it’s only his middle name, I wouldn’t be lazy to correct it: “Svetlana Onufrievna (with emphasis on the name). I like my full name and patronymic.”
I would do it this way. I don’t know what you will do...
Yes, and remember: men rarely learn information at once. Patience, patience - and sooner or later he will begin to treat you differently. The main thing is that there is not a note of resentment or anger in the voice or intonation. To do this, I repeat, you need to work on yourself, on your attitude towards a man, on accepting the situation as it is.
It is unlikely that you will change your colleague otherwise: it is generally difficult to influence another person. But you can change your attitude. Then the environment will simply be forced to change too.
I hope I answered your questions, Tatyana? If something is unclear, please clarify. Sometimes it is not possible to respond immediately, but your request will definitely not go unanswered.
And thank you for your trust.
- Svetlana, thank you very much for your answer and for your advice. All these “ladies” were pronounced with a sense of humor. Yesterday at work (without having read your message yet), he “knocked me down” so much that I couldn’t stand it, I came up and quietly but firmly She said that I asked him several times not to call me that, I’m not pleased, if a person doesn’t get it, then I also have the right to call him whatever I want, Stytsko or Gritsko. He won’t respond, so what, I’ll do it anyway to do. He remained silent, for half an hour he was encrypted somewhere, then for half a day he called me Tatyana (without humor, irony or showing off, not deliberately) and even very often directly. And then again he became embarrassed about something, and again “look, listen, come.” You really can’t understand what’s going on in a person’s head. I’ll try to do as you advise. Don’t wash it or roll it around, so to speak. Thank you very much again.
  - Tatyana, I was glad to be useful. And it will be great if my advice helps improve the situation for the better. Visit the blog, guests are always welcome! And will you tell me later how it ends? Interesting... :)

Disgusting article and disgusting responses to comments from people who hate their name.
The parents didn’t “gift” the name, but simply stuck a sticker on the forehead because that’s what was customary - that’s all.
I am trans myself, and like all trans people, I hate my birth name. But when they call me by the name I introduce myself, the associations are extremely positive. Since I changed my passport, I hear my old “name” less and less, and I have completely stopped associating myself with the old “name”.
No amount of elaboration will help if you don’t like the name - you need to CHANGE it without hesitation, and this applies to people of any gender identity. And, it’s also much cheaper than working with a psychologist.
But of course now there will be retaliatory attacks and transphobia 😀

Do you like your new name so much that you didn’t even write it down?.. :)
There will be no harassment or transphobia, don’t worry. Each of us creates our own life - as best we can and as best we can. For me, you are just an unhappy person who has not yet learned to love himself. Neither with the old name, nor with the new one.
And judging by your state of mind, you still need a psychologist. Sometimes what is cheaper is not as valuable. 🙂

27/03/05, Makushev indoutka
We do this very often with Lenka Asta. We call her "Viktorovna". She's not offended. And this (called by patronymic) is much better than calling by last name. And she always calls us by our last name. By patronymic (Viktorovna). and not by first name and patronymic (Elena Viktorovna) - it’s much simpler and friendlier, or something. and for fun.

27/03/05, Smith
I think it sounds pretty fun, at least you can laugh at the peculiarities of the culture of these people. But they call by patronymic not only in rural areas, but also in lessons at schools, when a student or student has done something wrong. Generally speaking, I think this is a sign of some respect for a person, a good attitude towards him, let’s say, a “brotherly” attitude of ordinary people, simple in life. There is nothing wrong with this, I think.

28/03/05, iholainen
In my opinion, this manner should be adopted by many nations! Is it bad to remember your father in your name? Isn't this the continuation of the family!?

29/03/05, Brynza
Well... These are our traditions. Well, let’s call everyone “hey, johnny” like in America, eat hamburgers and drink cola. There is some familiarity in this, but absolutely nothing offensive. IMHO

29/03/05, ShimAza
But in my opinion, there is nothing unpleasant about this... People communicate among friends, calling each other by some nickname, and no one seems to be offended... And using a patronymic is the same nickname IMHO...

29/03/05, Smith
Let's call each other "Mr. Pavlov Pavel Pavlovich" or "Mrs. Annova Anna Annovna." Calling people by their patronymics, I think, is normal game words, one of the natural properties of the Russian language. I don’t think there is anything ill-mannered or boorish here, much less redneck. It’s just that for each moment there is a well-defined treatment - with friends one thing, in a formal setting another, with acquaintances - a third. If I met with the president, I would not say to him “Hello, Vladimirovich..”, as you understand :).

29/03/05, Old_ded
Having lived my whole life in an environment where people were addressed either by their patronymic name, or (later) by their given name, I happened to live in the northeast of the Moscow City Council, where it is customary among acquaintances to address people by their patronymic name. I found this custom very cute..I recommend trying it :)

30/03/05, Celina
I like this. Imagine that there are several people in the company with the same name, so everyone responds when only one is called. And so call one by name, and the other by patronymic. This is possible even if the middle names are the same. In my opinion, a patronymic is the same nickname or nickname, someone doesn’t like it and asks not to call him that, while others do the opposite

30/03/05, I was walking by by chance
In general, it’s funny, but just don’t try it out loud with people you don’t know. It’s especially funny to call people with non-standard middle names this way (not out loud, to yourself), for example, just imagine: Adolfych, Mamedych, Sulumbekych, MarkOvna (this is about Lyudmila). Ask foreigners you know (if you have any) what their dad’s name is, again imagine: Ottych, Fransuazych, Wolfgangich, Larsych, etc. Just not out loud, they’ll suddenly be offended, but they’ll cheer themselves up.

30/03/05, Rock lady
“I’m on a drinking binge from loneliness, at night I hear voices... I suddenly hear them calling me by my patronymic, I looked - damn, these are miracles!”))))) By my patronymic it’s always better, even somehow more respectful :)

31/03/05, KorShun
By calling a person by his patronymic, I express respect for him and his father, this man is my friend. It is important that it is your own. Calling a stranger by his patronymic is rude and disrespectful.

01/04/05, Locust
There are especially suitable patronymics for this - Petrovich, Ilyich, Ivanovich. Sounds cool. But my grandmother’s middle name Vlasovna, in my opinion, is very beautiful, everyone calls her Vlasovna, but for some reason they don’t call her older sister that, although she is also Vlasovna))

01/04/05, Rock lady
“Hello, Kolyanovna?! It’s me, Vovanovna!”:))))) Plague!!!:))) You can call me Vovanovna, I like it so much :))))

03/04/05, Quiet imp
Calling a person by name is to show friendly concern, a sign of friendship. This is how you can call your peers, parents, sisters/brothers, etc. But the name and patronymic indicate respect for the person. I address myself as “you” to my grandparents, and by name and patronymic to older people whom I respect and appreciate. But not to everyone... If a person is older than me, but at the same time a complete zero in my opinion, then I don’t switch to you and, especially, to the first name and patronymic... only respected, honored, or elderly people deserve such treatment . Not necessarily all indicators together =)

03/04/05, LadyGerda
It seems to me that there is nothing offensive or bad about this. It’s just that our ancestors had great respect not for an individual person (especially a young one), but for his family... And when you say (in the same village) that you (let’s say) Kolya - that’s one thing. Who knows you there? But if you say - Petrovich or Mikhalych, many will remember - oh, this is Ivanovich’s son, who also built such a house for himself.... And everything is clear to everyone. Although some patronymics are not very usable separately... Vladimirovna or Vsevolodovich. It's better by name.

08/04/05, Red
I used to like to call the literary writer Valerich at school. No one called me by my middle name because it somehow doesn’t fit appearance and character with my patronymic, but they always called me by name.

09/04/05, Zaus
I don’t know, it’s going to happen to me. It’s especially fun to be in unfamiliar company. It's unusual, cool and generally... pleasant.

04/10/05, Hi
Do you remember songs about Lenin? Here are some lines from them: “Ilyich greeted the troops,” “Ilyich’s sun shines over Russia and it will never go out.” "A star made of red - we are Ilyich's grandchildren." So it’s not so vulgar to call a person simply by his patronymic.

04/10/05, Hi
I remember in Ukraine they addressed me “Palna!” The boss told his colleagues: “With these questions, go to Pavlovna.” Now for 7 years no one has called me by my first name or patronymic name. Well, this is not accepted in Israel - that’s all. And if in our area they called each other Moishevich, Khaimovich, Arievna, Elievna... It would be cool.)))))))))

23/11/05, Energetik
And in my opinion, that’s even good. When I’m an old grandfather, all my friends will be Ivanychs, Petrovichs, Mikhalychs, San Sanychs, etc.

08/03/07, Recluse
There are different middle names, some are fun to pronounce - for example, Mikhalych, Nikolaevna, Borisych, Petrovich... And there are some that are poorly pronounced, for example mine - Andreevich... And so, it’s fun to call your friends by their middle names, they are so freaked out at first , because they didn’t expect that they would be called by their father... but in fact, it’s cool...

08/03/07, Slim
Recluse, your middle name is simply meant to be pronounced! Not Andreevich, but Andreich! Class! Andreich - that's it. It’s a bit difficult for anyone - I’m Leonidovna... It’s even somehow boring :)))

Subject: “They call you by name, they call you by patronymic”02.03.11

Target: Familiarize the children with the origin of names and their meaning.

Tasks:

1) Introduce students to the meaning of first and middle names in a person’s life.

2) Develop students' horizons.

3) Cultivate respectful attitudes towards classmates.

Lesson plan:

1. Org. Moment.

2. Communicate the topic and purpose.

3.Conversation and

4. Summing up.

Progress of the lesson

Org. Moment.

Hello guys! Sit down.

Communicate the topic and purpose.

Our class hour is called “Called by name, called by patronymic”

Conversation.

Every year we celebrate birthdays! When we are born, our parents give us names. Sometimes, when they give names, they don’t even know their meaning. A person's name carries a lot of information.

A name is destiny, character, a helper for good words, and a heavenly protector. Your name is the name of your guardian angel. (The guys list their names in a chain and what they mean.) In ancient times, the name given at birth was kept secret or given double names, one of which was known only to close people, because the name carries fate. When giving a name, parents counted on the patronage and protection of God. In our class, all the children are very beautiful names, surname and patronymic.

The meaning of the name Alina

From the Old German "noble".

Alina- a girl who was sickly in childhood, very irritable, stubborn and impudent, not tolerating any comments. She is often raised in a single-parent family, by one mother, but she inherited her character from her father, and even looks like him. She has a good memory, she quickly grasps what she hears, and Alina studies well at school. She loves to draw and read historical novels. Alina is proud, strives to command everyone, has conflicts and manages to ruin her relationships with almost all the teachers at school, and she constantly quarrels with her mother over trifles. Prefers to be friends with boys. With age, the character of these girls softens somewhat and becomes calmer. Although many traits: stubbornness, intolerance, the ability to move from one extreme to another - remain. Those around her sometimes find her cunning. They are good housewives, very hospitable, but they cannot get along with their mother-in-law. The character of these women is such that it is better for them to live apart not only from their mother-in-law, but also from their parents. Alina knows how to present herself and always tries to look attractive. She is a fashionista with good taste. He manages to make an original toilet out of nothing and does not forget to make others pay attention to him. She generally loves to brag.

The meaning of the name Alena

Alina- capable people. They work in different areas, there are among them engineers and artists, doctors and salesmen, journalists and architects, musicians and teachers, although last profession, given the uncontrolled nature of such women, it is contraindicated for them.

Name Alena - Slavic origin. This was the name of the ancient tribes that lived in the European part of Russia - Alyons.

Alyons were very warlike, their symbol was the sword and fire. And the word Alena means scarlet, fiery. The name of the heroine of Russian fairy tales Alyonushka is exactly Slavic roots, of ancient origin.

The name Alena means torch in Greek.

From Hebrew Alena (Alona) is translated as oak.

In fact, the name Alena has nothing to do with Elena, it’s not even Greek name, but Old Russian, pagan. That was the name of the goddess of the morning dawn - Alena. Means scarlet, beautiful. Little Alena loves fairy tales. Keeps himself a little withdrawn, keeps himself apart among children, lives his own life inner world. But in a well-known team, they are open, cheerful and cheerful. She is gullible, but when faced with deception, especially one based on the use of her gullibility, she will certainly try to punish the person who deceived her, showing extraordinary ingenuity. Alena is kind, but her kindness in childhood is rarely active. So, she can bring a dirty street kitten into the house, give it milk to drink, cry over its bitter fate, but will not show firmness when the parents expel the “new resident” to night street that same evening. He is interested in a little bit of everything. And she tries to knit, and sew, and embroider - she is attracted to everything beautiful. Lessons are taught from time to time. She does well at school, even excellently in some subjects, thanks mainly to her good memory and the teacher she likes. Alena often looks like her father. In any case, she inherits his character exactly. Alena is emotional and categorical. Emotions generally play a big role in Alena’s life.

The meaning of the name Artyom

In childhood, people often suffer from respiratory diseases. They are calm and never impose their opinions on others. There are usually no problems at school. They read a lot, are always objective in assessing situations, always tell the truth, and sometimes they get it for it. Look like mother. Friendly and sociable. In adulthood, they are flexible and purposeful. Not careerists. They achieve everything through their own work, are very loyal, and know how to keep secrets. Born in winter- very contradictory nature. These are people of various professions: jewelers, doctors, electricians, artists, journalists, architects, teachers, watchmakers. Having married, they become good husbands, love animals. Hardworking. They have a passion for traveling, drive cars well, and repair them themselves. There are no leaders in the family. They love to receive guests and cook for them. Autumn ones are stubborn and persistent, but not conflicting. They are talented, with a rich imagination, but, unfortunately, for many, their talent remains undiscovered. They love adventure literature. They go in for sports, but do not reach great heights. Their weakness is talking on the phone. Summers are very kind and trusting, mothers are always worried about them, since they often find themselves helpless in life. They travel willingly and just as willingly go on business trips, and quickly find friends.

The meaning of the name Marina

From the Latin "sea".

As a rule, Marina high opinion About Me. And the beautiful Marina often even overestimates herself. She knows how to subordinate emotions to reason, so that everything that concerns her personal fate, she does thoughtfully and prudently. Sensuality awakens in her very early. At school, passions are always in full swing around Marina, notes are passed around, quarrels break out between the boys, and there are always those who want to carry her briefcase. It's amazing that this happens regardless of whether she is beautiful or ugly. Marina is smart, brave, relaxed, with a strong developed sense self-esteem; faced with the betrayal of a loved one, she will not come to terms with it, even if a divorce threatens to ruin her entire life. With such a complex combination of pride and prudence, Marina is still not stingy.

Marina will be happy with a calm person, with an easy-going character, who can provide her with the necessary standard of living. At the same time, the husband must constantly admire Marina; she will not tolerate inattention to herself. Due to her high self-esteem, Marina develops difficult relationship with my mother-in-law. In the kitchen, Marina works wonders, striving at all costs to amaze guests with her culinary skills. In caring for children, she is quite impulsive: she either rushes to fill obvious gaps in their upbringing, or leaves the children to their own devices for a long time. Capable of causing a scene of jealousy in the presence of strangers. Marina's first marriages are difficult. People often choose the professions of nurses, doctors, telephone operators, engineers, hairdressers, and actresses.

The meaning of the name Nikita

From the Greek winner.

These are men who know their worth. They are selfish and purposeful, they choose a goal for themselves and follow a direct path to it. They do not like to be commanded, they are persistent, stubborn and at the same time sensitive and vulnerable. Outwardly they look like their mother, but their character is that of their father. Family life Their relationship is difficult, but, loving children, they prefer not to get a divorce. Very devoted sons. These men have talent from God. They are leaders, however, this does not apply to family life. They have few friends, Nikita lacks diplomacy, does not want to adapt to anyone and does not tolerate anyone's superiority. Those born in winter are difficult to communicate with and are big debaters. They are hardworking and think through their plans down to the smallest detail. They do not tolerate long conversations on the phone.

The meaning of the name Dmitry

From the Greek "pertaining to Demeter."

Outwardly he resembles his mother. Frequent respiratory diseases, sore throat, flu, bronchitis make Dima a sick child. Instability is noticeable in childhood nervous system, capriciousness, increased demands on others. With age, Dima's health improves, and his capriciousness degenerates into stubbornness. Very strong-willed, can explode, difficult to communicate with. Smart, persistent, inventive, not afraid of work. Colleagues appreciate his sociability and ability to easily cope with failures. As a result, Dmitry is promoted, especially successful in those professions where it is necessary to communicate with people. They love coziness, comfort, beautiful women and various pleasures. It is difficult for them to limit themselves in anything. To create the necessary level of living comfort for Dmitry, his wife will have to rack her brains a lot. Many people associate the word “Impostor” with this name. Dmitry is brave, charming and cruel. Rushing into battle, he rarely thinks about the consequences, for which he is often punished. Amorous. The new feeling captures them so strongly and completely that without much remorse they change their sympathies. Despite their frequent remarriages, they retain a touching affection for children from previous marriages and continue to care for them throughout their lives. The wife will have to put up with her husband's grumpiness. The Dmitrievs' mother enjoys great authority. Moderately jealous. They are not averse to drinking, but are not addicted to alcoholic beverages. A romantic attitude towards a woman lasts until old age.

Meaning of the name Christina

Name Christina Greek origin. From the expression “dedicated to Christ”

Kristya is very similar in appearance to her father, but her character is maternal: just like her mother, she is active, quick-witted, sometimes unpredictable, and has an excellent memory. This is a cheerful girl who doesn’t do anything hastily and doesn’t panic. She stands firmly on the ground and does not waste time building castles in the air. She gives the impression of being shy, even timid. In fact, Christina is simply observant, listens and remembers everything. She is not too excitable, she needs time to make a decision. In society, these are liberated women who quickly get along with strangers, but prefer a few select friends. They quickly fall in love and just as quickly become disappointed. Such girls feel a constant need for tenderness and love with corresponding external manifestations. It is difficult to penetrate into their inner world, but it is not always possible to understand what they are thinking about. However, behind Christine's external impenetrability, a stormy temperament is often hidden.

The meaning of the name Vadim

From Old Russian “to accuse, to slander”

Usually Vadim is a healthy, sociable, cheerful child. He, like a lamb, will jump around the room or run skipping along the alley of the park, scaring with his screams grandmothers sitting on benches or random passers-by. But this is not from disobedience. Vadim reacts very sensitively to his mother’s comments, tenderly loves her and his father, his sisters and brothers, if he has them. But he has so much unspent energy! Therefore, in childhood, it is necessary to ensure that the boy does not ride his bicycle onto the roadway or fall from a tree or balcony. He studies well, but teachers complain about his restlessness. Vadimov makes good leaders. They feel people well, are caring, and remember their promises. Extraordinarily hardworking and purposeful. Having taken on something, they will not stop until they achieve their goal. They are not without prudence and some cunning; they carefully think through their actions and statements. They have good “punching” abilities; getting something rare and in short supply is a pleasure for them; they see it as a certain game, a sporting interest. Those born in winter have difficulty communicating and for a long time cannot decide on the choice of profession, wife, or friends. Born in summer- softer, lazier.

The meaning of the name Ksenia

From Greek "hospitality", "foreign"

Ksyusha is growing up as a sweet, calm and obedient child. She studies well at school, is not lazy, is neat and efficient. It’s just that she’s too sensitive and touchy. If Ksyusha gets pouty, then she will never be the first to make peace. She often changes her girlfriends, and in the end she chooses the one who will not contradict her in anything. Sensitivity and receptivity are also characteristic of adult Ksenia. She definitely lacks poise and stability. This woman’s family life is therefore never strewn with roses. The first marriage often ends in nothing; Ksenia marries again many years later. Ksenia is more interested in the humanities than in technology, she has a great ability for languages, but most of all nature has endowed her with musical talent, and if she seriously begins to study music, she achieves great results in this area. professional success. Ksenia reacts vividly to injustice, but will only fight for her own rights, although in words she may sympathize with others. In general, she is more interested in her inner world than in her work. The best thing for her is to improve her home. She is an excellent and, most importantly, very thrifty housewife. Born in autumn girls often succeed in science, but they are characterized by the same excessive impressionability and the slightest failure leads her to complete despair.

Meaning of the name Egor

From Greek - farmer.

Little Egorka has an analytical mind. If a neighbor’s dog brings three puppies, then there is no way to explain to him why last time there were only two of them! In addition, Yegor is very stubborn and distrustful. A person who deceives him at least once risks losing the boy’s favor forever. He studies well, is diligent and hardworking. If you come across a “bad” teacher, it is better to immediately transfer him to another school: he will no longer study here. Has good business qualities, knows how to find a way out of any situation. His character is somewhat spoiled by his temper and grumpiness. If he occupies a leadership position (and this often happens), then his subordinates will have to get used to his manner of reprimanding him for a long time even for minor violations. He achieves success in his professional career, his colleagues value him for his integrity, pedantry, purposefulness and... they are somewhat afraid of him. In girls, Egor values modesty most of all. Egor is a straightforward and somewhat simple-minded person; his declarations of love and proposals are, as a rule, sincere and serious. A respectable family man, a strong owner, somewhat strict with children. He does not contradict in small things, but in serious matters he shows firmness.

The meaning of the name Julia

From Greek “wavy, fluffy”, from Latin “female Roman name”.

With an unbridled imagination, a touchy and vulnerable girl. Significant changes in mood are noticeable when the cheerful, playful and noisy Yulenka suddenly becomes lethargic and apathetic for no particular reason. In this state, it is best to leave the girl alone - time will pass, and she will be the same again. It is difficult to argue with her, she stands her ground to the last, and is reluctant to admit her mistakes. She is somewhat timid, does not like to watch horror films, and cannot stand the sight of blood. Adult Yulia is thrifty, thrifty, and a good cook. What is there in her pantries! Julia devotes almost all her time to her family, housekeeping, and the well-being of her relatives. She is of little interest in work and professional growth, so colleagues often have the impression of Yulia as a lazy person. Julia is hampered by her stubbornness, which she has had since childhood. She will not follow other people's advice, even in cases where she knows that they are quite reasonable. This character trait prevents Yulia from finding mutual language with her mother and mother-in-law, so she prefers to live apart from them. Many Julias are passionate book lovers; reading is their favorite pastime.

The meaning of the name Yuri

From Greek - farmer.

Yuri is a calm, somewhat self-absorbed person. Restrained behavior and philosophical mindset come into some conflict with his appearance. Yuri's gestures, facial expressions, and manner of speaking are distinguished by some artistry. However, his artistry is a purely natural property. Yuri does not care at all about attracting the attention of the fairer sex.

And now guys, we invite you to play a little.

In 2 minutes you must remember and write down names in which two identical letters are together, usually these are double consonants, but there are also vowels. (Anna, Alla, Inna, Zhanna, Savva, Daniil, Kirill, etc.)

Well done! You have completed this task! Now let's move on to the next one. The task is called “Girls and Boys”. Now you have to remember among boys and girls, i.e. names used to call both boys and girls. You have 2 minutes. (Anton - Antonina, Rome - Rimma, Stepan - Stepanida, Valentin - Valentina, Alexander - Alexandra, Evgeniy - Evgenia, Victor - Victoria, etc.)

Your next task is to remember as many greats as possible, famous people named after Alexander. (Alexander the Great, Alexander Pushkin, Alexander I, Alexander II, Alexander Blok, Alexander Suvorov, Alexander Nevsky, etc.)

Within a certain time, all the guys must remember old names, which our great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers were called. Some of them are now completely unheard of, while others are coming back into fashion. (Agrofena, Fedot, Ephraim, Praskovya, Averky, Leonty, Lavrenty, Matvey, Makar, etc.).

Well done! Now you should, within a certain time, all the guys must remember songs in which names are mentioned, and you can even perform one verse at a time. (“Katyusha”, “Antoshka”, “Girl Praskovya from the Moscow Region”, “Faina”, “Happy Birthday, Vika”, “Alexandra”, “Liza”, etc.)

Summarizing.

Well done! It's time to sum up our class hour. What new things have you learned about yourself?

Student:

Methodist:

Teacher:

Grade:

The ubiquity of foreign language borrowings in the Russian language affected not only vocabulary, but also etiquette (not typical to the Russian people) rules. At Pyatigorskaya Pravda we are trying to fight this, we adhere to the classical canons, because we are convinced that a high-quality newspaper with a long history should be quite conservative.

If we talk about general trend in the media, it should be noted that in the second half of the 80s, our fatherland “lost” its patronymic name. That is, the means of communication (television, radio, newspapers) began to call people in the Western manner, only by first and last name: not Yuri Alekseevich Gagarin, but Yuri Gagarin, not Boris Nikolaevich Yeltsin, but Boris Yeltsin, not Mikhail Sergeevich Gorbachev, but Mikhail Gorbachev . Currently, all media use this truncated form: first name + last name. It’s strange to hear on television and radio how elderly, distinguished people are called solely by their first names. Nowadays the trinity is used more for identification purposes than as a form of respect.

The tradition of calling each other by first name and patronymic has been with Russians since time immemorial. This is a tribute to a person, part of Russian speech etiquette. Using only a first and last name, we become like (as one of my older comrades often repeats) Ivans, who do not remember kinship. After all, with what respect in old times they addressed the famous ancient Russian hero Ilya Muromets, “Svet Ivanovich.” The patronymic has always elevated the Russian person.

The custom of being called by patronymic dates back to ancient times. According to researchers, patronymics began to appear in the 11th - XII centuries. The use of first and patronymic names in the pre-family period initially also served a practical purpose. It not only reflected respect for the memory of parents, but also acted as a legally established sign of a unique right to property, spiritual and other inheritance from the father.

The three-member naming of people - first name, patronymic, last name - is a feature of the Russian language. This formula arose in the era of Peter I, then spread to Ukraine and Belarus, and then further, to other lands of vast Russia.

The adoption of the trinity in Russia is far from accidental: at one time it even acquired a sacred meaning - as the Orthodox Christian Trinity (God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit) was opposed to the Western European “twin” (God the Father and God the Son).

The triune model (first name + patronymic + last name) was adopted by almost all the peoples of Russia and the USSR. Russia has always had a respectful attitude towards other peoples and their traditions: it is known, for example, that among the Balts, residents of the Caucasus and the Far North, it is not customary to use patronymics in intranational communication. The father's name is indicated only in official documents.

The two-part form (even if the name is complete), as observations show, causes another violation of etiquette: addressing the interlocutor as “you,” while calling him by his first name and patronymic pushes him to “you.” That is, in Russian etiquette everything is interconnected: one depends on the other. On the one hand, we seem to have gotten rid of excessive veneration for rank (it’s curious that some journalists often introduce themselves only by their first name, even without a last name! When you ask for a middle name, you usually hear: “It’s not customary here!” Who is not accepted? When? Why? – it’s not clear), on the other hand, we offend many people.

It may be objected that the two-part formula (first name + surname) shows the language’s desire for compression, but is this really so? Maybe, this fact– one of the manifestations of “democratization” and vulgarization of the language, mixing Western European with Nizhny Novgorod?