How to respond to your daughter's insults. School

Each of us faces rudeness every day. In stores, in transport, on the street, in hospitals - everywhere there are people who can ruin your mood for the whole day.

Offend and Anyone can spoil a person's mood, especially born rude people. On their antics must be responded to correctly. TO you need to be prepared for this and know what to answer in order to save your nerves and get out of it with dignity the situation.

Of course, there are situations when answering no offense worth it:

on insulting strangers store, transport or other public place do not worth paying attention. It is unlikely that anyone other than the police will be able to calm them down;
Not worth answering rudeness of strangers if they provoke a fight. True, if someone wants to fight, they won’t just let you go, but if there is a chance to avoid a fight, use it;
on rudeness can be encountered in on the Internet different forums or in the comments. Provoking people to I bet many people make money this way or simply stroke their ego. On rudeness in social networks are not costs answer to save time and nerves.

When we still have to answer, we we're upset that we don't managed to fight back correctly, and even if it seemed that you you answer adequately, after the fact you still receive phrases that fit better would. So as not to If you upset yourself, you can learn in advance to respond to the offender.

What a funny way to answer insult

Many people make the mistake of the insult is responded to with rudeness. Of course, when we are offended, it's annoying, but if you gather your strength and do not deign the boor with attention, you will definitely win the argument. Howsoever it was difficult, make it clear that you do not care about the words of the person who is rude. The best option- respond to rudeness with humor.

If you have there will be witty phrases in stock, then You you can get out of any situation.

Immediately forget about the drums hung around the necks of the offenders, so that they lead the column of people going somewhere. This is an unconstructive reaction, albeit with a dose of sarcasm. When responding to an insult, it is better to use intellectual humor to show your superiority over the rude person:

"WITH At this moment I ask for more details...”;
"Like You’re good at coming up with nasty things”;
"I see you We spent the whole night preparing our speech”;
“Should we call an ambulance? You probably feel bad, since you started talking such nonsense”;
“I want to thank your parents for raising such a good person”;
“Thank God, you’re talking nonsense again! And I already thought that you were a smart person.”

If the insulter does not understands humor and continues to speak poorly in your side, try to correctly explain to the person in clever words that he behaves rudely. On clever phrases a rude person may not find a decent answer and will simply leave you behind. Don't shout and swear - quite politely and intelligently explain that someone not right. Such composure will unsettle a boor.

How to exit with dignity such situations? There is a wise way. Agree with in the words of a rude man and thank you for what he I found your shortcomings. This method is very effective- you don’t even be rude in response, but you put the boor in awkward situation. Ill-mannered people need to be made clear that they are behaving ugly. On tactful remark they will react and think about it.

If someone emphasizes your appearance (blonde, bespectacled, fat), bring this feature to the fore and thank the interlocutor for his observation. “Yes, I’m blonde, we’ve been talking for an hour, and you just noticed!” It’s taking a long time to get to you!”, “Do I need to remind you that glasses have always been considered a sign of intelligence. That’s why I see that you don’t have glasses.”

Best answers to insults

Not on All insults can be answered with one memorized phrase. If you're boorish looks illiterate, then smart maxims will come in handy. Beautiful and correct answers to rudeness:

"Not I want to break away from such an interesting conversation, but I'm in a hurry";
"How to answer you so as not to offend";
“No, no, I always yawn when I’m interested in a conversation with my interlocutor”;
"You you know, a friend of mine is conducting an experiment on study of primate intelligence, you just need to get involved.”

To be ready for any insults, you need to know what a provocateur may look like. The face of a boor:

more often these are weak individuals who are trying to defend themselves with insults;
rude people - these are energy vampires who enjoy taking people out of myself;
Aggressive people who love to argue. This is Y they become a habit;
foolish people.

How to speak smartly answer to rudeness

To be ready to answer insults, learn a few smart phrases that may come in handy. True, keep in I see that there are not just smart words enough. You need to show the offender that you- a confident person, and it's hard to get you out of myself. Therefore, all words must be pronounced clearly, in a calm tone.

Examples of phrases that can be used in response to insults:

"Not it's worth being so angry, but That your eyes will now take on the color of your red blouse”;
"If you fools would fly I wouldn't be here now stood";
"Not I know your preferences in food, but products that you use in food, clearly reduce intelligence";
"It's easy for you to surprise me “just say something smart”;
“You probably haven’t been hugged enough in childhood, that's why you so angry. Let me I’ll hug you..."

Costs should I even respond to insults

Is it necessary to answer insults, you decide You. Keep in mind that the retaliatory insult in the address of loved ones can lead to that the relationship will be damaged. Therefore, in order not to allow a scandal to occur, try to defuse the situation on the contrary.

Do not forget that rude people are usually people offended by fate who simply cannot argue their opinion. Therefore, do not be rude yourself and do not respond to the antics of strangers.

And one moment. When an insult comes to you, you decide how to react to it. But if someone is rude to people close to you - offends a girlfriend, mother, laughs at a brother or sister - then a reaction is needed. Again: there is no need to get involved in a fight, it is enough to simply show that you are intellectually superior to your interlocutor, and that the one at whom the rudeness was directed has a patron.

What to say in answer to rudeness of strangers

If a stranger is rude to you and you decided no matter what began to fight back, use the repetition method. On respond to the rude person’s words with the phrases: “What are you talking about!", "AND what's next? ","That's it? Is that all now? So you get rid of it quickly unpleasant person.

Use the surprise method: when insulted, sneeze and say that you are allergic to rudeness. A In general, when strangers start to be rude, find out the reason for this behavior. If his insults are unfounded, let him know that and that they are unpleasant to you. In rare cases, of course, the offender is right, and the remarks hit the mark. In such cases, you will have to agree with the speaker, but reproach him for pointing out your shortcomings so rudely.

IN in most cases a person does not ready to that he might be offended. Not do you know what to answer? Just improvise. Be calm, don't it's worth going with emotions about. Before you say anything, think about what might the interlocutor says the answer. When you learn to control your thoughts and emotions, you get out of it easily any situation.

I offer 5 proven options for how to respond to insults in various situations. Read the article and choose yours!

I don’t know about you, but I organically cannot stand people who send insults and rudeness left and right.

I don’t know exactly what prompts them to act this way, genetic predisposition, lack of upbringing, or simply lack of brains.

Since there are plenty of such comrades, especially in places with large crowds of people (public transport, markets), the banal advice “Don’t pay attention” is ineffective.

Today I will tell you what to do with boors, which they generously share with others, and how other countries treat unfair insults.

Where do these very insults come from?

Actually, so you understand, insulting others is the position of weak people.

It’s much easier for them to say something nasty than to try to convincingly convey their point of view.

This is especially clear in the example of the Internet community.

For example, someone wrote an article.

Uncle Vasya didn't like her.

Instead of providing evidence of the author's wrongness, he writes in the comments to the text nasty things, generously seasoned with obscenities.

How to respond to insult should the author himself?

Should I be offended, write something back, or not pay attention?

In a specific case, it is better to opt for the last option, because you don’t know who Uncle Vasya is, and you don’t want to know, so why waste your time and emotions on him?

The most common forms of insult are:

Weak people who are afraid of everything in the world and therefore chose the only weapon they understand.
, the purpose of which is to evoke emotion and nourish you.
Boors, whom it is unclear who raised and who should not live among people at all.
Aggressors who cannot imagine their life without scandals, fights and console themselves with the thought that their insult will provoke you to this.
Drunks and drug addicts because they don't control themselves.
Idiots whose brains are incapable of giving birth to a single intelligent thought other than swearing.

How do civilized people react to insults?

In fact, in the Constitution of many countries, including ours, there is a separate article that states that you cannot insult people. This is considered an administrative violation and should be punished with a fine.

However, in reality, if you go up to a policeman and say that that bad drunk uncle dumped a bucket of insults and threats on your head, then at best the law enforcement officer will send the uncle to sleep it off, at worst he will send you to hell.

But not all states adhere to such a policy.

One day, a friend of mine and her husband were vacationing in the United Arab Emirates.

Any insult, even ugly gestures, are strictly prohibited.

“If they insult you, never answer them back. After all, if a dog barks at you, you don’t get down on all fours and bark back.”
Mikhail Zadornov

They once went on an excursion, and with them on the bus was an extremely restless tourist (I won’t say which country he was from :)).

He annoyed everyone on the way, but an unpleasant incident happened while visiting some attraction.

The restless tourist was either pushed by travelers from Japan, or he simply decided to get to the bottom of them, but insults rained down on them.

The Japanese did not interfere, but simply complained to the policeman who was nearby.

The culprit of the conflict was taken to the police station and issued a fine, which significantly emptied his pockets.

The practice of “let the law enforcement officers deal with the boors” is popular in many countries, but, unfortunately, we have not yet joined their number, therefore we must learn respond to insults Right.

What is the best way to respond to insults?

The most common responses to insults:

Ignoring.
A dialogue that will drive the interlocutor into a dead end.
Tears that could make him feel sorry for him.
Humor.
Physical impact.

Let's figure out which option is appropriate in different situations.

The reaction to rudeness depends largely on the person who is testing your patience.

If we are talking about an unwashed man with a beer belly, who splashes out his dissatisfaction with life on all the passengers on the minibus, the best thing you can do is not pay attention to him.

This is the first time you've seen him, and he's definitely not worth it for a worthless hog.

You should ignore the insults of energy vampires - they should not feed on your emotions.

If a boor is your friend who constantly practices this kind of dialogue, then you can drive him into a corner with the help of clarifying questions and phrases: “Why do you think so?”, “Give reasons for your opinion,” “Prove to me that you are right.” , “Where did you get that?”, “What else doesn’t suit you about me?” etc.

It is quite possible that your dialogue will end with reconciliation and the person realizing his mistakes.

Or he will disappear from your life forever, which is also quite good.

My friend knows for sure how to respond to insults passport officers, housing workers and other useless employees in government offices.

She starts to cry.

It turns out that she does it very naturally, the evil aunts begin to see a weak, defenseless girl in front of them and rush to help her with a solution to the problem.

Humor is generally a powerful weapon against any adversity in life, and even against boors - it is truly deadly.

Those who like to insult often hide behind a mask of brutality, afraid of appearing funny or...

Your task is to make fun of the boor with the help of jokes, so that he retreats from the battlefield in shame and is afraid to pester you in the future.

Cuffs for a boor are, of course, an extreme option, but when nothing else works, then it is quite possible to resort to their help.

Once, in front of me, a sporty man pushed a tipsy guy out of a trolleybus who was insulting everyone and everyone around him.

Neither persuasion, nor requests, nor shouts could silence him until this man intervened.

His actions were applauded by all trolleybus passengers.

And a few more examples of how to do it right

respond to the banal insult “You’re a fool!”

Let's look and remember 😉

If none of the proposed options suits you, try to find your own.

But the only thing I know for sure: respond to insults, wasting your nerve cells is not allowed under any circumstances.

By doing this you will not prove anything to anyone, you will only deal a blow to your health and please the boor - he achieved what he wanted.

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Most people who are faced with insults in their direction feel confused in the first seconds, not knowing how to react to such aggressive attacks. However, if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation again, try to get your bearings right away and remember some recommendations.

How to behave when you are insulted

Do not react to negativity and insults

Sometimes in such situations, the absence of any reaction may be the best way out of the situation. It is possible that later you will begin to reproach yourself for this silence and timidity, but more often than not, subsequently people are proud that they were able to restrain themselves and not sink to the level of a tactless and aggressive person who was trying to “catch in.” This is especially true if it comes to about an energy vampire - such a person is just waiting for a response from you, it only “feeds” him. Communication with such a person always ends the same way - you feel defeated, and your opponent’s mood clearly improves.

Should I respond with aggression in a conflict?

This is not the best option and is only applicable in exceptional cases. So, when is aggression appropriate in response:

If your opponent uses any physical force towards your child or animal. If your opponent has long lost control of himself and has been trying to piss you off for a long time and inject you more painfully. If your opponent goes beyond what is permitted and tries to insult a weaker person in front of you unprotected person. An example would be a drunken boor rude to an unfamiliar child on the bus.

Change the situation into a positive direction (laugh it off)

Perhaps you have started a quarrel with a really close person, and you do not want to continue this ugly scene, realizing that such a development of events will only harm your relationship. In this case, it makes sense to pull yourself together and take the conflict in a completely different direction with the help of a joke. If the person is really close, then you know what topic can provoke a smile on his face. Of course, this is not so easy to do when you yourself are stifled by resentment, and you want to give a worthy rebuff to your interlocutor. However, it is important to understand that in this way you act most wisely - you do not allow yourself to be completely disappointed in your loved one, and for him to be disappointed in you. When the intensity of passions subsides, suggest returning to the topic that has quarreled you in order to calmly resolve the dilemma that has arisen.

Try to shame the offender into silence

At times, a person can forget himself and behave completely tactlessly. If you know that such behavior is not usually typical for him, then, of course, it makes sense to shame him. Most likely, the opponent will immediately understand that he is overstepping the bounds of decency. This method is also effective in communicating with children. Almost all of them experience turning points at various stages of their development, and aggression in response to their offensive tone can only cause harm. In such cases, it would actually be better to create a feeling of shame for your words.

Use clever words and logical arguments to prove that you are right.

Such answer options can help you reason with the insulter and redirect his energy from a stream of insults to constructive dialogue. If a person lies, then simply ask him: “Why are you behaving this way?” In response, you will probably hear more intelligible information than before. If necessary, this question can be repeated several times. Also, if you notice that the interlocutor is clearly “carried out” and he is already confused in his thoughts, ask him to justify his words.

Use witty, cheeky and funny phrases when you are rude

The saddest thing is that for some reason most boors are not very susceptible to humor, and your witty and funny answers will most likely seem simply absurd to such a person. However, you can try to laugh it off, especially if there is an audience for your argument. So, in response to an insult, you can answer:

“You are not very original, maybe next time it will turn out better.” “You are very attentive, a valuable quality.” “Weak attempt, maybe rudeness is not your thing after all?” “I hope that you are just trying to look worse what you really are."

To shut up and humiliate an enemy, you should learn sarcasm

It is quite difficult to neutralize a particularly aggressive interlocutor with phrases prepared in advance, so in such cases the ability to respond with sarcasm is highly valued. For example, if your opponent defiantly asks: “What did you say?!”, you can retort: “Yes, you also have problems with hearing...”. Or if you are asked: “The smartest, or what?”, you can answer: “You are surprisingly observant!”

How to respond to offensive words if you don’t get it in a good way

In what cases can force be used?

The use of force, of course, is appropriate only in fairly rare cases, one might even say exceptional. First of all, this is necessary when you are threatened with physical violence. Of course, if the opponent not only threatens, but also begins to put his threats into action, then in such a situation it is all the more impossible to give yourself offense. You can also use force when you see that physical suffering is being caused to a weaker creature. This way you can stand up for an animal, a child, an elderly person or a woman. Of course, in this situation it would be unwise to get into trouble if you see that the rude person is clearly superior to you in physical parameters. However, it would be right to ask someone else for help or to intimidate the boor with the police.

Should I use harsh swear words and expressions?

In very rare cases this is actually appropriate. As a rule, a cultured person who considers himself a worthy member of society prefers to ignore swearing, not wanting to stoop to the level of his opponent. Mikhail Zadornov once recommended to his listeners not to enter into dialogue with a person who hurls insults, arguing that this is as stupid as barking in response to a dog barking.

Is it possible to civilly send a person without swearing to shut up?

To some extent, this is possible, although not without difficulty. For example, if a person begins to forget himself, and you understand that he is clearly minding his own business, you can remark: “It seems to me or does this really not concern you?” In addition, the following phrases will cool the interlocutor’s ardor:

“Your opinion is very valuable, but not in this situation”; “If I need your advice, I will look for you”; “What makes you think that I’m interested in your opinion?”

How to insult back if you're just annoyed

For rudeness you can be humiliatingly called with offensive words

Of course, one should resort to offensive and humiliating insults only in very rare cases - when the opponent does not know the limits in his statements and pours out an uncontrollable stream of “dirty” words. If you have enough willpower, then in such cases, it is best to ignore the person who is showing aggression - to pretend that his words are an empty phrase for you. When the interlocutor expresses or shouts everything he thinks, you can wearily summarize: “You are very tiring “Isn’t that why you have problems in your personal life?” Please note that such a phrase sounds very caustic and offensive, so it should be used in the case of a notorious scoundrel. Even if he is married, such words will hurt him, because such a brawler, most likely, is really not doing well on the personal front. To an aggressive boor who is overweight, you can say: “It would be better to sign up for the gym!” We emphasize that it is better to avoid barbs about appearance as much as possible - such comments usually humiliate not only your enemy, but also you. However, if you know that some aspect of your appearance is a sore subject for your interlocutor, and he himself has already completely “ridden through” your appearance, then you can “give change” with similar phrases.

Troll verbally and put in place

Many people are seriously affected by various “prophecies” and curses.” If your enemy behaves disgracefully, insulting you, having long ago crossed all boundaries of what is permitted, then calmly say: “From this day on, you will know why misfortune will befall you.” Many people are suspicious, especially if they are emotionally unstable. Most likely, your phrase will haunt your interlocutor for a long time, and he will really begin to regret his own incontinence.

Answers for all occasions

A few examples of cool phrases that will bring you to tears (examples)

If you set out to bring the person who offended you to tears, then there are phrases that contribute to such a development of events. So, here are examples of some of them:

I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, your primitive mind doesn’t allow you to express yourself more clearly? Your insults are so stupid that I’m not even offended. Probably, many are accustomed to feeling only a feeling of pity for you; I can imagine how ashamed your relatives are for you; So you turn out to be not only “not very good” in appearance. Of course, before you try to insult a person to the point of tears, it makes sense to think about whether it is necessary to do this at all. It is possible that as time passes, you yourself will regret that you took such a step. As a rule, conscientious people are subsequently ashamed of such behavior and intemperance.

Cool insults for humiliation (examples)

Do you always have such a poor imagination, or is today a bad day? Your parents probably just dreamed that you would run away from home one day. Don’t stop talking, maybe you’ll get to smart phrases. It’s probably hard for you to love nature, considering how it did to you. If you tried to look even more stupid, I'm afraid this attempt would fail.

Afterword

This may be very difficult, but remember that later you will have reason to rejoice at your prudence and foresight. First of all, it is important to realize that you do not need to take seriously what your opponent tells you. Most often, when insulting someone, a person rarely resorts to logic and common facts, because his only goal is to “hurt” as much as possible! they just “came to hand.” If we are talking about the second option, then it is better to avoid showing any emotions. Mentally feel sorry for the offender, and abstract yourself from this situation. Ignoring is a very useful skill in many unpleasant situations. It is important to understand that insults are usually resorted to by a weak-willed person who has serious problems in his upbringing. This understanding is especially appropriate if we are talking about a person whom you are unlikely to see again. Think carefully - is he worth wasting your energy on him or is it better to ignore this pathetic boor? Of course, some people believe that such behavior only benefits them, and begin to become even more inflamed in their insults, then look carefully at your interlocutor and say: “By what right do you allow yourself to behave this way towards strangers, you yourself understand How unworthy do you look?” Such a question may well “sober up” your opponent. Of course, if a conflict is started by a person close to you, then ignoring is not always the right response. It’s unlikely that your interlocutor just wanted to insult you out of nowhere. Most likely, something is seriously bothering this person, and it would be appropriate to talk about it directly. Just say: "Let's stop these vile insults and try to solve the problem." Most likely, after this you will really be able to close the conflict, and your interlocutor will be grateful to you for your prudence.

Motivated by reason, not emotions, you will always be a winner

If you have started to wonder how it is offensive to answer a person with obscenities or how to bring someone to tears with your insults, then you are clearly not on the right track. Be more reasonable, do not succumb to other people's emotional influence. If you yourself stoop to such unworthy behavior, it may bring you a feeling of satisfaction for just a few seconds - then the situation will not be so rosy. Most likely, resorting to rudeness towards another person (especially if he is close) will later feel empty and depressed. As a rule, various verbal skirmishes bring satisfaction only to energy vampires - it is difficult to please other people with a conflict situation. Remember that people who have learned to control themselves, as a rule, always remain in an advantageous position. At the same time, those people who easily get wound up “in a half-turn” thereby attract additional negative events and emotions. Not giving in to emotions is very useful in many cases, and one of them is a quarrel with higher management at work or simply with the person you depend on. Recognize that the person is arriving upset, and your counter-attacks may make things worse. To avoid such a development of the situation, it makes sense to mentally distract yourself from the conversation. That is, outwardly you seem to listen to everything that your opponent says to you, but in reality your thoughts wander somewhere far away. You can remember pleasant events in your life, think about your upcoming vacation, and decide what dish would be appropriate to cook for dinner.

Think ahead about the consequences of your actions

If you understand that you yourself partially provoked the flow of insults, although you did not deserve such unflattering words, then you should partially admit your guilt. For example: “You are, of course, right in your indignation, but your words can be chosen more softly.” When entering into a verbal altercation with someone, remember that this may result in some problems for you in the future. It’s one thing if we are talking about a person you are unlikely to meet on your life’s path, and a completely different thing when a clash happened with a loved one, friend, neighbor. Such a conflict could lead to a protracted war. Even if you make peace almost immediately, the offensive words spoken can remain in the memory for a long time, and sooner or later they will still lead to a cooling in the relationship. Therefore, in such cases, if you feel even the slightest ability to restrain yourself, be sure to try to use it.

Arthur is a smart, thoughtful, and well-liked graduate student, so he was stunned and crushed when one of the professors responded to a question he asked in a seminar by telling Arthur that he was a complete idiot.

“I blushed,” said Arthur. “And, perhaps for the first time in my life, not only could I not utter a word, but not even a single coherent thought arose in my head. I felt like my brain had completely shut down."

Teresa, a nurse, experienced a similar reaction when the head nurse on her unit yelled at her for making a minor mistake on her time sheet.

“I couldn’t deny that I was wrong,” Teresa said, “but it was about my time, not about the patient. I didn't hurt anyone, but she screamed at me like I was the dumbest, most horrible idiot in the world. I didn't answer her. All I could do was just stand there rooted to the spot. I just kept telling myself that under no circumstances should I cry. That was all I could think about. But, of course, I burst into tears, and this made me even more angry with myself.”

Research shows that shame and guilt, although sometimes related, are actually very different emotions.

Feeling guilty, or admitting to having done something wrong, can lead to positive changes in a person's behavior.

Shame is a way to suppress and repress a person, in addition, it has been proven that shame, humiliation, and emotional and physical abuse are often closely related.

People who describe feelings of humiliation report feeling destroyed, helpless, confused, paralyzed, and full of anger. Sometimes it seemed to them that this feeling was akin to being suddenly suddenly reduced in size or hit straight in the heart. They felt a rush of heat and wanted to disappear. It doesn’t matter how many years have passed since the event, but these experiences remain vivid and vivid in the mind for a long time.

A common reaction to humiliation is the desire to disappear, fall through the ground or disappear into thin air. And often, when we are humiliated, we lose all ability to act.

If this has ever happened to you, you know the feeling. Maybe you have sometimes thought about what you could have done at that moment or later to protect yourself.

Get rid of shame and pain from humiliation

Here are 7 tips based on my psychotherapy experience and understanding of the dynamics of shame, as well as the latest research on this topic.

1. Take time to formulate your answer.

It's not that easy, especially when your mind is filled with terror and all you want to do is disappear. But if you force your brain to work, you can find a way to respond appropriately.

You don't need to apologize, take the blame, or counterattack - all of which can backfire in the moment.

Just take the hit.

2. Don't take humiliation too personally.

First, take a break from yourself and try to think about what made the person say such humiliating things to you at the moment.

Look at your offender, even with your mouth open if necessary. He may try to humiliate you even more, but this reaction, more than any words you can think of, will show how stunned you are that this person allows himself to behave in this way.

Sometimes the person humiliating you doesn't do it on purpose, and when he sees your reaction, he may be horrified and immediately apologize, although he won't always allow you to witness his confusion (perhaps because he now feels ashamed himself!).

If you believe your boss didn't mean to humiliate you in front of the entire team, asking directly is the best solution.

You might ask, “Can you give me five minutes?” and then, having met him face to face, say something like: “I know you didn’t mean to, but when you criticized me in front of the whole team, I was very upset. Yes, I'm ready to hear your criticism. You have a clear and correct view of many things. But I would really appreciate it if you criticized me face to face.”

You may receive a sincere apology, but no one, including your boss, likes to be told what they did wrong, so expect to hear a snort or even another critical comment in response. Take it easy. Unless your boss truly meant to humiliate you, your opinion will be heard.

But if the person wanted to embarrass or shame you, no matter what you did wrong, you don't deserve to be humiliated.

Of course, take responsibility for the mistakes you make, but do not admit that making a mistake means that you are an unworthy person who should be ashamed of yourself or be humiliated by others.

When someone tries to make you feel humiliated, it's usually because they're the one with the problem, not because you've done something terrible.

3. Try to get out of the situation.

Neuroscientists say we have about 20 minutes to change the direction of a conversation when it becomes emotional. After this time, you and your interlocutor will be locked within the boundaries of the negative model, and will only be able to switch after completing the interaction.

So don't get too caught up in achieving your goal while talking in a loud voice. Distance yourself. You can say, “I'm not really ready to discuss this with you right now,” or “I'm sorry you're reacting this way, we'll talk later.”

4. Try to understand the other person's motives.

Once you end a conversation that could end badly for you, you will have time to think about what is happening. Understanding does not mean forgiveness, feeling sorry, or having to be nice to someone who offended you.

It is simply a tool to help you become aware of the shadow behavior of others. This is helpful for not taking their actions personally—and as a way to make sure it's about them and not you.

Perhaps they are angry because you are shaming them in some way? It may be something you're not even aware of, but if you focus, you'll remember something you said and did recently. It seemed like a small thing to you, but somehow it hurt them tremendously. So now they pay you in the same coin, even if you didn't do it on purpose.

Another possibility is that your abuser feels his power is being threatened—and is asserting his power by trying to hurt you. Sometimes this intention is closely related to a specific person - when the aggressor is reacting to something you said or didn't say, did or didn't do.

But more often it is associated with a general feeling of powerlessness or helplessness that the aggressor experiences.

Abusers often feel unattractive and/or powerless (without always realizing it) and are therefore forced to “prove” their strength by harassing vulnerable victims.

5. Realize that you are not alone.

It is unlikely that anyone will be able to live their life without ever experiencing humiliation.

Talk to other people who have experienced the same thing as you.

Moreover, if a person has abused and humiliated you, they have almost certainly done the same to others. Once one victim claims they were abused, others will also come forward.

Confessing helps you not take humiliation personally by realizing that you are the victim and not the cause of the problem.

6. Be careful in retaliating.

Humiliation is a mixture of anger and shame, so retaliation may seem like a good way to restore self-esteem.

But the danger is that someone who puts others down to feel more powerful is likely to react even more violently and strike back.

But refusing immediate retribution does not mean you are weak.

Strength can come from being willing to fight and stand up for others in a similar situation. But don't criticize yourself if you are not ready to openly confront the aggressor.

You may not always be able to respond to humiliation immediately, but you have the power to not allow the aggressor to influence your future life, which will become a form of revenge. You are not who they want you to be and not who they see you to be.

You have strengths and are capable of living a full life without them - whether that means ending a relationship or leaving a job, changing managers, or simply not having anything to do with a particular person.

Arthur was lucky. The professor who humiliated him turned out to be a good person, and when he saw Arthur's reaction, he immediately apologized to the entire audience. But this is not always the case.

The head nurse who humiliated Teresa was known for lashing out at everyone who worked with her. Teresa overcame this situation with the support of her colleagues. "Everyone knows she's a real bitch," Teresa said. “It’s hard to resist her. But it's a good job, so no one wants to leave. So we just bear with it. And we always support each other, saying a lot of positive words to each other. This is the best we can do."

The support of others, colleagues, friends, teachers, mentors is key.

It can be helpful to keep a journal of your experiences, writing down exactly when and what happened. But don't use this method if it makes you feel even worse by revisiting the experience.

But most of the time, writing down what happened helps you get it out of your head. And as we know from experience, such notes can be very useful one day when you get a chance to be heard.

Addition

When a person is humiliated, he has subconscious programs inside that attract the negative attitude of others. For example, it could be low self-esteem or a hostile attitude. People reflect your vision of the world, and in order to correct such situations, you should go inside yourself and find negative patterns, and then regularly change them with the help of reflection and new beliefs.

You need to work on increasing your own worth and know that there are times when people do certain things or say bad things not because you are bad. No! In fact, there can be many reasons. For example, their internal genetic programs that provoke them to behave this way.

The most important thing is not that you were insulted, but how you reacted. Your reactions hurt you and it is important to work with them. Develop your confidence and humiliation will no longer be present in your life. All the best!

There is probably not a single person who has not at least once heard an insult addressed to him.

In addition, open spaces are now widely used.

There it is also possible to stumble upon a boorish attitude and targeted humiliation of an individual.

Therefore, very often people are interested in what to do if you are insulted.

There is a law that provides for liability for such acts. But the presence of insult will have to be proven.

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General concept

In the modern world, communication with the presence of insults is very common. And this applies not only to personal communication, but also on social networks or via .

Nowadays you can often see that people's personality is deteriorating.

Insults are thrown unnoticed and become a normal way of speaking.

Young people who hide behind other people's photos on social networks mistakenly think that their actions will have consequences.

This happens because not everyone knows that the legislation provides for a corresponding article for such acts.

For example, for insults posted on the Internet, a person can be held accountable on the basis of Art. 5. 61 Code of Administrative Offences. You just have to prove what kind of person and how exactly he showed the belittlement of the individual. Actions amounting to insult:

obscene text
offensive photo or video
humiliation in the comments
belittling dignity in an individual conversation or in society

At the same time, it is necessary to clearly understand that the statements refer to an insult. That is, there must be a strong evidence base for his presence.

If the insult came via the Internet

What to do if you are insulted on the Internet is often of interest to users of various networks. After identifying offensive moments on social networks, you need to highlight an important piece of text and take a screenshot. It should make it clear who the appeal concerns.

To confirm the fact that this particular person posted the text, you will need to seek the help of the person who observed this procedure. In addition, he must confirm this in court.

It is recommended to contact the site provider and explain the situation to them. It should help identify the offender, and also remove unpleasant language from the site. When unpleasant information has been deleted, but the desire to punish the offender remains, you should adhere to a certain scheme:

A claim is written on a piece of paper.
Contacting RosNIIROS and WhoIs services will help you find out the address of the person who is the owner of the site. If attempts remain in vain, then this can be done through law enforcement agencies.
The letter of claim is sent by registered mail to the address of the provider. The receipt will be needed in court. Therefore, it is recommended to save it.
Next you need to file a police report. Quite often, employees of this organization do not want to get involved in such matters. If this happens, you can appeal their refusal to the prosecutor's office. You just have to take it in writing from the department first. Employees of the authorized body must find out the identity of the offender. When data on it is already available, they must be indicated in the application. In this case, there is a greater likelihood of punishing the offender.
After this, you need to go to court and write a statement of prosecution. You just need to prepare the evidence base in advance in the form of screenshots and photographs of the screen where the text of the insults is visible. In order for them to be accepted by the court, it is necessary to study the page together and draw up an appropriate protocol. He will also have to put his visa in it.

Insulted at the place of work

Quite often, in the production process, people allow themselves to humiliate and insult their colleagues.

Then the question creeps in among the victims, what to do if you were insulted at work.

Such actions have a strong bearing on dignity, as these actions are seen by others.

If a person is insulted at the place of work, there is no need to remain silent.

After all, this could happen again if left unpunished. Therefore, it is better to immediately protect your interests. People are not always ready to go to the police and start a lawsuit.

Therefore, for the first time, a memo addressed to the head of the company may be sufficient. He has the right to impose disciplinary sanctions on the violator.

Well, if you still decide to punish the offender to the fullest extent, then you can use two authorities: the police court.

It is better to write two applications to both organizations at once. The police will investigate and issue an order, and through the court you can recover moral damages.

Insulted on the street

It is much more difficult to answer the question, what to do if you are insulted on the street?

Of course, there is a way to bring the offender to justice.

But you will have to prove the presence of insults.

However, if you manage to attract witnesses and record a video that contains significant facts, you can safely file a complaint with the police.

After identifying the offender, you can file a lawsuit for compensation for moral damages. The claim requires the basis to indicate the following articles: 1099, 1101, 150, 152 of the Civil Code.

The main thing in this procedure is to correctly state all the circumstances of the case and attach compelling evidence and arguments.

They can be:

sms messages
audio and video materials

To draw up a legally correct application, it is recommended to contact specialists. They will help you understand the situation and determine whether the statement constitutes an insult. You can also contact the prosecutor’s office with a similar question.

Important! Bringing the guilty person to administrative liability does not prohibit the additional application of civil law.

Under what conditions can one be held accountable?

A person may be held liable:

over sixteen years of age
with full proof of guilt
in the presence of a preliminary pre-trial settlement of the issue

However, in practice, such calls are quite rare, as they have many conventions. Even less often does the court make a positive decision. This is due to the fact that a person does not know his rights, or knows, but cannot do the right thing.

It is worth understanding that a police statement will help find the owner of obscene expressions on the Internet. Therefore, those who like to “get smart” about someone else’s photo should think about whether it’s worth doing. After all, it is unknown how this may end.

Penalties

When the insult is proven, it is quite possible to recover moral damages from the offender. The injured person has the right to determine its amount independently. In addition, he may request a refutation of what is posted on the Internet.

Also, compensation for damage can be obtained not only from the offender, but also from the media. But, it should be understood that not all resources belong to them. Therefore, to begin with, it will be useful to understand the structure of the site on which the insult was posted.

The administrative punishment that the violator will receive will be equal to:

forty thousand fine for insulting in a private conversation
eighty thousand sanction for publication in the media

In addition, the law provides for the possibility of receiving correctional labor for such acts. They are equal:

six months for the first violation
year for the second offense

The violator will pay fines to the state treasury. But the injured person will receive moral damage in monetary terms. You just need to understand that the police can issue a fine, but compensation is awarded by the court.

About responsibility for insults - presented in the video:

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