Having fallen in love one day, we strive to preserve this feeling forever. But we don't know how. In reality, love never goes away. She lives in us. Partners leave. Love remains and looks for a worthy specimen in order to manifest itself again. It cannot be manipulated and is not subject to our will. Free and willful. Capable of illuminating our soul without warning. And also suddenly take away this light.
Love is often called the relationship between a man and a woman.
If in childhood we did not receive enough love, attention, warmth, we get it in adult life through partners.
When a woman has received everything that she lacked, then she cannot understand her condition. Feels that something is wrong, not like before, there is no hunger and pleasure from meetings.
Also the man. Having received risk, sex, victory, recognition, he cools down. We call all this “falling out of love.”
How to win love? How to save it? Love is a gift from above. It cannot be forced. You can't force someone to love. Love either exists or it doesn’t.
Relationships are a completely different matter. How can I extend them? In every loved one we look for ourselves, our values, our vision. After all, if your views on life are too different, then you immediately understand that this person is not yours. You are looking for your reflection in it. And recognizing yourself in him, you become attached to this person and become closer.
When we make claims against our partner and try to change him, we are heading down the road to nowhere. You need to start first of all with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like everything about yourself? Can you change externally without changing internally?
Your relationship with your partner is a mirror of your behavior or attitude towards him. If you want to change something in a relationship, change something in yourself. After all, if you think about it, we understand that our partner reacts to our behavior.
When you are loved you always feel it. If love is gone, then it was not love. There may be an illusion, self-deception, but definitely not love.
Listen to yourself. Learn to talk to your partner about your needs.
We weren't taught this. We are used to being silent and enduring. That's why it's so difficult. But if we want to be happy, we need to learn to voice our wishes, and not wait last straw when there is no point in talking anymore.
Always listen to your desires. Work on yourself. Be an example for your partner. Learn to talk about your needs.
Everyone has their own understanding of love. For some, these are words of tenderness every day, for others, phone calls and gentle SMS, for others, time spent together.
In order to be happy in a relationship, it is important to show your love in your partner’s language. And it is important to explain to him how you understand love.
Look for love and harmony within yourself. If something in a relationship is not the way you would like, change your behavior and attitude towards your partner. All couples go through conflicts and quarrels. If the conflict is settled, the relationship becomes stronger. If it is not resolved, the relationship deteriorates. Learn to be tolerant, tactful and wise. After all, only you know what you need to be happy. And only you can make your life happy.
There are some couples who seem like a real ideal. They are so sweet, positive and filled with love that they make those around them feel inadequate. But romance does not appear out of nowhere - it is the result of the mutual work of partners. Harmonious relationships possible regardless of the number of years lived together. But many couples repeat mistakes that prevent happy life. But ideally, you need to gain experience based on the mistakes of others. So, what are the secrets? happy relationship?
Your significant other is the best communicator and listener. A happy relationship with a man is characterized by sincerity and warmth. Source: Flickr (Ashlyn_Grantham)
The main thing is to respect each other
Even in this age of sexual permissiveness, relationships rarely move past the dating and romance phase. This means that first of all you will get to know each other, become imbued with sympathy, and only then will you be inflamed strong feelings and want to build a serious, happy relationship. It's unlikely that you want to be with a person you don't respect. So try to maintain mutual respect. IN family life it’s not so simple, because you see a person every day, and not in the most attractive form. One can inevitably devalue the person himself, forgetting about the period when he seemed magically sexy. So talk to your partner, learn something new from him. Respect is the key to friendship, and friendship is the basis of love.
Trust is your base
If you let a person into your life, then do not follow him, but trust him. Jealousy is good in microscopic doses, when it fuels a relationship, and not when it heats it up. So don’t “train” your partner, but give him freedom. Believe me, excessive jealousy only makes you angry, but trust never gets boring. If it so happens that one of the partners cheated on the other, then, of course, it will be very difficult to trust unconditionally. But what to do? Think about whether it’s realistic to build further relations without constant suspicion? If you fail to forgive, then life will be poisoned.
This is interesting! Over the past 20 years, the age of people ready for serious relationship. Girls decide to get married after 25 years. For men, the average figure according to statistics is 27 years.
Don't forget about consistency
If you are thinking about how to build a happy relationship with a man, then most likely you see your future in your chosen one. Maybe he is your destiny?! Then betrayal is definitely not in your area of interest. Relationships should be built on loyalty. There can be disagreements in any couple, but it’s easier to resolve them than to seek consolation on the side. You can also add to this advice the recommendation not to forget about the intimate area of your relationship. Sex can be vanilla or extreme, but what is important is not the “technical” characteristics, but the mutual attraction, desire and love for the process. Regularity is also important, but everyone has their own norm. Some people like daily sex, while others need sex a couple times a week. Find a compromise and give intimacy the time and attention it deserves.
Share your emotions and experiences
After a hard working day don't forget that you have a back. Your significant other is the best communicator and listener. A happy relationship with a man is characterized by sincerity and warmth. If a man calmly talks about how his day went, mentioning both pleasant and annoying incidents, then he clearly trusts you and is ready to listen to you. Don't neglect this fact. Your loved one can be aware of your life in all its aspects.
A main secret How to create a happy relationship lies in the feelings. Love each other and you will intuitively be able to avoid all the dangers of mutual grinding. Source: Flickr (Sarah_Padoan)
Plan your weekend
The secrets to a happy relationship with a man lie in the ability to work and have fun together. If you do the cleaning together, that's half the battle, but hanging out together is real intimacy. Therefore, start a common hobby that will be fun and enjoyable for you to do. Maybe it will be fishing? Or even embroidery? Basically, the type of activity doesn't really matter as long as you both enjoy it. Let at least once a month you have a day completely devoted to a hobby. These emotions warm the soul!
And if you don’t have time to laze around all day, then fill it with small pleasant surprises. Does your significant other love ice cream? Then buy it for dinner and indulge your sweet tooth.
Quarrels can be right
Yes, a quarrel is a real art, if, of course, you want to make peace with your opponent later, and not be left with nothing. Long relationships force you to seek compromises, otherwise the boat of love will really sink in everyday life. Firstly, try not to sort things out in public. It's really ugly and memorable for a long time. Secondly, do not delay solving the problem. Thirdly, do not punish your other half by excommunication from the body, deprivation of dinner and other primitive measures. A hot dinner and equally hot sex are, of course, wonderful, but not vitally important.
The psychology of happiness in relationships between a man and a woman is a special science that so far no scientist has been able to decompose into chapters. But most people still agree that happiness is impossible without quarrels, since in the process of reconciliation you begin to value a person more. If quarrels follow the same scenario (complaints-ignored-punishment), then it becomes boring. Boredom sets in, and it is detrimental to relationships.
Note! Sometimes the reason for the quarrel seems less serious after discussion, but no one wants to admit that they are at fault. In such cases, you should not persistently wait for an apology from your significant other. Actions will tell everything - for example, a reconciliatory act of love.
Give yourself and your significant other freedom
Being together is great, but the secret to a long-lasting relationship is being alone sometimes. It’s so nice for one to read a book, play a game, knit a scarf or go fishing. There are so many activities in the world that you can do alone! A loved one must trust and let his significant other go out with friends or have fun for his own pleasure.
And the main secret of how to create a happy relationship lies in feelings. Love each other and you will intuitively be able to avoid all the dangers of mutual grinding!
Video on the topic
The secrets of happy relationships are interesting for everyone to know: girls who have not yet had time to put on a wedding dress, newlyweds who have just entered into marriage, and even couples with twenty years of married life experience.
Psychologists are conducting more and more research, the purpose of which is to find out how to make relationships happy and families strong. But, despite the fact that many girls and young men would like to have one loved one for life, the divorce rate is modern world it's just off the charts. Read the advice from “Signorina” and you will find out what the key to a happy relationship is.
1. Resolve disputes peacefully
Even if you are very angry and want to tell your loved one everything that you think about him, it is better to stop and cool down a little. Otherwise, you can destroy the relationship with one caustic phrase, and in the future you will regret it, but nothing will be possible to correct. Not all people forgive offenses easily.
In childhood, we can say to a friend, “Take your words back,” and half an hour later we can play together as if nothing had happened. In adult life everything is more complicated. It’s easier not to utter phrases that offend weak spots your loved one, than it takes a long time to seek forgiveness. During quarrels and disputes, you need to know the limit that cannot be crossed under any circumstances.
2. Spend interesting and quality time together
Always find time for each other, even with the busiest schedule and no vacation. Moreover, this moment is more important for established couples than for lovers who are already trying to be close every minute. But after a few years life together all communication begins to boil down to household issues: what to buy for dinner, and which club to send the child to.
Of course, these questions are also important, but when communicating only household topics, the spouses will very soon become uninteresting to each other. And even during a joint dinner, a couple can be close, and at the same time be infinitely far from each other. Don’t forget about joint hobbies and interests. If there is no such activity yet, be sure to invent one. Let once a week be yours, only your time, when you can relax and enjoy each other. And ignoring your partner can hurt more than anger and irritation.
3. Help each other grow
It will be much easier for a man to achieve success in his career if he has a reliable rear in the form of a caring and understanding companion. The same can be said about the fair sex; it is also important for them to be supported professionally, and not told: “ Your place in the kitchen".But you can grow not only in your profession. You can acquire various knowledge, engage in hobbies or volunteer activities with interest. In the end, you can open your own business. In each of these areas, the support of a spouse or simply a loved one can be invaluable. It’s so great when you have someone to share your joy and celebrate another victory together. It’s wonderful when your loved one is proud of you and inspires you to take on the next challenge with dignity.
4. Trust each other
It is very important to trust your loved one and know that his feelings are sincere and that you are not being used for personal gain. Playing Sherlock Holmes with checking the contents of your pockets, as well as reading all incoming SMS messages on your man’s mobile phone, will get boring for both of you very quickly. There is no need to look for signs of betrayal, otherwise you will suddenly find it!An atmosphere of trust and security is one of the necessary conditions happy relationships. A reliable life partner, a strong shoulder to lean on in difficult situation- Isn’t this what every woman dreams of? In turn, you need to organize coziness and provide comfort for your beloved man.
5. Be faithful and dedicated
True love and true friendship are inseparable from each other. Real love does not weaken, even if people are separated by thousands of kilometers, and sometimes even becomes stronger. In a happy relationship, fidelity is prerequisite, other options are simply not considered.
Surely you expect loyalty from your man. This means you shouldn’t flirt with guys you know. If you love each other, representatives of the opposite sex simply cease to exist for you. Why do you need someone else if you feel so good together that you’re even scared that this fairy tale will end one day?
6. Love and respect each other
No matter how trivial it may sound, it is love and respect that are the reliable basis for happy and long-lasting relationships. Moreover, they often forget about respect, hoping that passionate love is enough, which will keep a man and a woman together, allowing them to create a happy family.
In fact, it is naive to expect that your passion in a year will be as bright as it was at the beginning of the relationship. And during this period, in the absence of deeper feelings, there is a great risk of running away. It is also important to note the fact that if we do not love ourselves, then it is unlikely that others will love us either.
7. Support each other through thick and thin.
Don’t think that only people need support weak people. Not true! Even the most strong man There are moments when you need support like air and want to hear the words “You will succeed!” Even a successful businessman needs the approval of his significant other, although he may never admit it.
The world can be cruel, and sometimes only the support of loved ones allows you to survive a period when everything is not going well, it is not going the way you would like. It is very important to know that loved ones will be available not only when it is convenient for them, but also at the moment when we really need it. Together in happiness and in sorrow - this is the credo loving friend people's friend. Listen to their wisdom.
8. Understand that every relationship is different.
Don't compare your relationships with the relationships of celebrities or neighbors landing. At first glance, it may seem to you that everything is just perfect for them. You will even wonder why you couldn’t find such a wonderful man. Don't be jealous! Everyone has their own skeletons in their closet, and those around them are often shown only positive aspects.Some mistakes in relationships with previous boyfriends can be taken into account in future relationships. However, not everything is clear here either. After all, the characters different men very different, and what you liked ex-boyfriend, will not always delight your current loved one. Typically feminine qualities - flexibility and the ability to adapt to a loved one, as well as intuition can be very useful.
9. Know how to listen and... hear
Unfortunately, our loved ones cannot read our minds to understand how we feel. this moment what we want and what we expect from them. Isn't it easier to say what you need? At the same time, it is important not to forget not only about your needs, but also about the needs of your loved one.
In the modern bustle, we can listen to even those close and dear to us with half an ear, being immersed in our own thoughts. Do not forget that you need to learn not only to listen, but also to hear your loved one.
10. Turn weaknesses into strengths
Everyone knows that during the period of dating and falling in love, it seems that your man has no flaws at all. And even if they are obvious, they seem like nice features. A little time passes and we may begin to be annoyed by the way our loved one eats, walks, and speaks. An unclosed tube of toothpaste may well become the spark that will ignite the flames of a scandal.At such moments, you need to remember that every person without exception has shortcomings. What if we turn them into advantages? Does your husband love saving, saving every penny? But in winter you will go to Thailand, and your friends will envy you.
11. Work on your relationships
Some couples naively believe that if they met and fell in love with each other, now they do not need to make any effort to maintain their feelings. Unfortunately, this does not happen. Relationships need to be worked on, and worked on daily. Successful relationships require constant emotional nourishment.Ask yourself questions more often: “What can I do today to make our relationship brighter, warmer, closer tomorrow?” “How can I make my loved one’s life happier?” You may not see the effect of your efforts immediately, but it will happen!
12. Common values are more important than common interests
We don’t argue that if a husband and wife share a common hobby, be it fishing, playing table tennis or culinary feats, this will be a big plus in the relationship. But there are much more important things - common values.The same attitude towards family, children, and religion is much more important for a truly happy relationship. And it’s quite possible to fall in love with fishing over time. Or simply cook fish soup from crucian carp brought by your husband.
13. Don't remember old grievances
Grudge is a quality that is harmful not only to your health, but also to your relationships. Resentments, disagreements, and quarrels occur in every family. You need to learn to sincerely forgive the man who offended you.The task of a wise woman is to create a family atmosphere when her husband will want to quickly return to her, his beloved, and not run to drink beer with friends. Some things cannot be forgiven, and then the relationship ends. Fortunately, there are not many of them.
14. Be realistic in your expectations
Relationships in reality are not at all the same as in melodramas and soap operas. And it would be difficult to withstand such daily intensity of passion that is shown on television. Long-term relationships are built on the condition that each partner puts in their efforts.If the partners' expectations are realistic, if the wife does not demand from her husband a villa in the Bahamas, and he from her - to become like his beloved Penelope Cruz, this will avoid many disappointments leading to quarrels and breakups.
15. Talk about love
Couples who have lived together for a long time practically stop talking to each other about their feelings. And that's wrong. Compliments, small signs of attention and simple words“I love you” do not lose their relevance, even if the spouses managed to live together until their golden wedding.The number of divorces is growing every day, although everyone, when starting a family, expected a marriage that would last a lifetime. So is there a secret to a happy relationship? We hasten to disappoint you - there is no secret.
It is impossible to determine any postulates on which family happiness would rest, since each family is individual. There are only fundamental rules, following which you can improve the atmosphere in a relationship and preserve feelings.
Leave the past in the past
Forget about old feelings, past loves, do not compare your current partner with your ex. Don’t remember what your loved one did many years ago - if you stayed with him, it means you forgave him, so don’t bring up the past.
Happiness starts with you
How to be happy in a relationship? This is impossible if you are unhappy on your own, when you are alone, when your children are not with you. Happiness lies neither in actions, nor in achieving anything, nor in possessing a person, nor in money. It begins when you choose to be happy.
Communicate and trust
Learn to discuss with your partner what is important to you and to him. From topics of sex to renovation. There should not be topics between partners that they would be ashamed or unpleasant to talk about. Be open to each other, trust and be trustworthy yourself.
Marriage should come first
Marriage is the strongest bond between two people. Children grow up and leave their parents’ house, friends appear and disappear, business and career are unstable concepts that have no meaning if you don’t have a family. Women who believe that children are the most important thing in life are unhappy to some extent and make their children unhappy. Sooner or later, the child will leave home and start his own family, which is why marriage should come first.
Remember why you got married
Never forget why you chose this particular person to start a family? Why did you want to share your life with him? You did not create a family in order to work around the clock and see each other for 2 hours a day, count money, divide property, and so on. You created a family to love each other.
Touch each other more often
More tactile contact, and not just in bed. Hug, stroke, touch each other more often. This prevents us from getting out of the habit of being constantly close to each other.
Don't think you can solve anything during conflicts
During quarrels you cannot come to the right decision, get an answer to a question or improve a relationship. For lovers, a glance or a whisper is enough to understand and hear each other. At this moment two loving hearts so close that they don't need loud words. When loving people quarrel, they feel distant from each other, so they want to shout to get through to each other. But even this doesn't help.
Appreciate the person next to you and give your love simply because you want to give it. We wish you good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and
Sometimes it may seem like the world is full happy couples, the secret of happiness of which is available only to two people in love. In reality, both they and their happy relationship are not nearly as perfect as they may seem. What leads to happy relationships and how to create them?
The ability to accept each other's shortcomings and overcome difficulties together leads to success! However, there are some secrets that can still serve as the basis for a happy union.
7 secrets to a happy relationship
A happy relationship is entirely possible if you follow these seven little secrets:
1. Controversy
One of the main secrets of happy couples is that people sometimes allow each other to let off steam. The statement that the more partners argue, the worse things get for them is not always true. More often, the opposite happens - people living in the world separate, simply because they are indifferent to each other.
2. Realistic expectations
Don't get carried away romantic films, relationships of world stars and wait for the ideal partner who will solve all your problems. Even if you feel incredible attraction and feelings for a person, it is not a fact that it will last a lifetime. After a while, you will have to admit that your partner is far from perfect and come to terms with it.
3. The ability to live your own life
IN at a young age you can think that you should spend every second with your loved one, and this The best way say that you love each other and are happy together. However, this does not work for mature people. Having your own hobbies and spending time independently contributes much more to a happy relationship than staying close to each other.
4. Ability to communicate and listen
If your sixth sense tells you that something is wrong in your relationship, you should call your partner for a direct dialogue and find out what is wrong.
5. Honesty
After the craziest crush, there comes a time when practical things come into play. For example, money and housing. These are the two main reasons for separation, but many couples are hesitant to discuss these issues, although they are the ones that require utmost frankness. The sooner you discuss these things, the easier it will be for you later.
6. Do your own responsibilities
One person cannot work, look after the children and the house, but, unfortunately, different people different concepts about justice. To prevent one partner from being responsible for everything, you must agree on the division of responsibility and never break your agreement.
7. Laugh
Humor is one of the best things! By making fun of each other, you reduce stress levels and can enjoy each other's company. At the same time, you always need to know your boundaries and not touch sore spots with your jokes.
Conclusion
It is quite possible to always love each other and not be sad that the initial feelings have faded into oblivion. The above are just some of the possible ingredients for a happy relationship, and each couple may well develop their own unique recipe for happiness!
