I told my mother-in-law about an incident that happened recently on one of the capital’s beaches. Let me remind you that vacationers near the unofficial nudist beach complained about a topless girl sunbathing in law enforcement agencies, as a result of which it all ended in a brawl and detention.
- Everything is correct! - answered the mother-in-law. “And it should be banned everywhere.” It's disgusting to look at naked female breasts. Ugh! As soon as I remember the Turkish beaches, I don’t even want to go on vacation.
It's disgusting to look at a person's chest. How can you live with yours?
Women hate themselves and hate each other.
Can you imagine a men's magazine publishing an article on the topic "How to love yourself"? Funny, right? Nonsense.
Only girls are taught from childhood to be ashamed of themselves and their bodies.
I remember many years ago there was a stack of Health magazines on the country veranda. An article-story about the first menstruation was published in one of the issues. A veiled story about how a girl discovered stains on her sheet and nightgown and ran around the house in horror, not knowing how to hide “this shame.” The article, I must admit, was terrifying.
Everything is a shame for a woman. She should be ashamed of her physiology, her unshaven legs, her pregnancy and her own breasts. And shame others if they dare to show something off.
Even if subconsciously, there is an attitude within every woman that a man is the master of life. First grade. And you are a girl. Second number. Application.
Remember what they attribute to a woman when they want to praise her strengths: "woman with...". And that's a compliment, because it's cool to be a man. They don’t have hormonal storms, their tights don’t tear and their breasts don’t fall out of their bras. Intelligence, courage, and the ability for logical and analytical thinking seem to be given to men exclusively by birthright.
Son. Heir. Man. It sounds proud. What about the girl? Little girl. She started nursing again.
Who, if not a woman, can properly humiliate another woman. Women support and broadcast stereotypes about themselves, and this is called internal misogyny. All this does not come from a good life. Being inside the misogynistic discourse, we are forced to begin to hope for “dividends” from the privileged class – men: look, guys, I’m just like you, I also laugh at “stupid chicks”. This is an attempt to take a more comfortable position in the absence of choice. Stockholm syndrome.
“She behaves like a woman,” “she asked for it,” “you’re just having PMS.”
Too much makeup? Stupid doll. No makeup at all? Lazy ugly.
When it comes to the right not to shave your legs or not wear makeup, women are the most indignant.
Why is this happening? Because internal misogyny determines a rigid hierarchy within the female environment. A woman must meet certain reproductive, age, physiological and other requirements. All the diversity of characters, personalities, desires, possibilities comes down to some kind of stereotyped " to a normal woman"with strictly defined requirements for it. In turn, women are left to compete with each other for the right to be the best within the framework of this one and only template. Instead of understanding that there is not and cannot be a single correct model, and enjoying their own unique uniqueness.
Only a woman can be fallen, only a woman can defile with her presence, only a woman on a ship means trouble. Single mother. Spinster. Baba with an empty bucket. Divorcee.
But the old horse won’t ruin the furrow.
A couple of days ago at social network An advertisement was published seeking employees. Travel company an accountant was needed. In the comments under the post the question was asked: Is there a chance for a 45 year old woman with “not very good” appearance?? Read this phrase again. And further.
In the event of an emergency on the road, even a woman says with contempt in her voice: “I bet a woman is driving.”
What to do? You can start by learning to understand: intelligence, stupidity, professionalism, strength or weakness are human qualities. And not exclusively men and not exclusively women. And stop attributing any characteristics to an entire group as data once and for all.
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The fact that women hate each other is no secret. No, of course, each of us has friends whom we love and with whom we share our secrets, but they, under certain conditions, may well become our rivals, rivals and even, let’s be honest, enemies. Why is this happening?
Psychologists answering this question name several reasons.
Fighting is not a woman's business
- for certain reasons and under appropriate circumstances - is characteristic of any living creature, including humans, regardless of whether it is a man or a woman. Beautiful and gentle creatures experience this emotion no less often, and perhaps more often than the stronger sex. But men have a prerogative - they can throw out their aggression by talking like men, or even sorting things out in battle - street, real, military. Nobody says that this is good, but, having let off steam, they - with rare exceptions - do not harbor a grudge, but forget about grievances, unless, of course, they are as deadly as those of the hero of Alexandre Dumas's novel "The Count of Monte Cristo" - It is customary to take revenge for such things.
Women can't fight public morals To put it mildly, he does not approve of this. Scenes of showdowns between representatives of the fair sex are not so much the rule as the exception to it. As a result, any feelings towards representatives of their own sex - dissatisfaction, irritation, envy, aggression - are driven and sublimated there into hatred, which forces them to resort to methods that are available to them: . Moreover, the fair sex successfully demonstrates such skills even in kindergarten and school, and then successfully transfers them into adulthood.
Banal envy
Another reason why women hate their own kind is simple envy. It just so happened in society that a girl, almost from the moment of her birth, always owes something to someone. Be neat and tidy. Study well. Be an exemplary daughter, and subsequently a wife and mother. Run the household with a firm and skillful hand. Make a career. And most girls, young women and women obediently submit to these public proddings, often sacrificing their own interests for the sake of their family and loved ones - parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents. Subconsciously, they expect encouragement for this, if not from their relatives, then at least from fate, because they conscientiously did everything that was required of them.
Is it any wonder that when meeting representatives of the fair sex who are more gifted by nature or people than themselves - they are more beautiful, loved or wealthy, although - in their opinion! – they didn’t do anything for this, they got everything for nothing, women envy them.
It's all about complexes
Women are also driven to hatred by self-doubt - the so-called inferiority complexes. They, unlike men, will not support their female colleagues, especially if they had the imprudence to be more successful - on the contrary, fearing competition, they will “drown” them in every possible way, considering them undeserving of new positions and increased salaries. “Just think, it’s an achievement,” the woman thinks in such cases, “I can do this too!”, although in fact she is not at all sure of this and is trying – at least for herself – to justify her professional failure.
Lack of self-confidence—more precisely, in one’s appearance—is dictated by criticism and numerous attacks—including on the Internet—on those whom women consider rivals and competitors. How often can one hear that this or that representative of the fair sex has a “terrible figure”, “a nose that is too long” or she is “tackily dressed”, although in fact the girl they are talking about is elegant, has a classically shaped nose, and is dressed she is good and becoming. It’s even worse for public people - they are thrown mud at by entire groups of so-called haters, who can ruin the mood and life of anyone, even a very successful and accomplished person. If you have heard something like this addressed to you at least once, know: your critic is so unsure of himself that he is trying to compensate for his condition at your expense.
The most important reason for women's hatred is motherhood: as soon as a woman gives birth to a child, she becomes an object of criticism for other mothers who know better how, what and when to feed the child, whether to swaddle him or not, when and where to walk with him - topics for quarrels and there are a lot of disputes, and it is almost impossible to find at least some semblance of consensus in them - any woman greets everything that concerns a child with hostility.
Alexandra Voloshina
Thank you for your help in preparing the material. psychologist Marina Eliseeva.
I am happy to note that feminism in Russia is becoming fashionable among women, and now confession of patriarchal views can slightly tarnish one’s reputation. Given the desperate situation with domestic violence, it is vital that girls grow up knowing their right to equality, respect and safety.
But next to the most beautiful movement there are always people scurrying around, taking the idea to the point of absurdity. I see quite a lot of women around who hate men, but the worst thing is that they call themselves feminists and discredit the phenomenon.
If speak about collective image, then usually this is a desperate woman over forty who has buried her dreams of love and solemnly cursed the men. Every man in her version is a weak but evil creature, lustful but powerless, full of vices but devoid of even negative charm; he is not allowed anything - to be interested in women, to approach children, to count on politeness. These angry ladies have always existed, but before they did not attach themselves to feminism, but now they are trying to legalize their hatred, hiding behind the right ideas, and this is terribly offensive. In fact, aggression is a pure consequence of frustration; they now devalue what they have unsuccessfully strived for for the previous thirty years, and can take out their irritation on nasty men and more fortunate women.
Male age-related misogyny has a slightly different nature. No matter how many adventures and relationships there are in life, one day it turns out that the world great sex lost for a man: he is no longer good for young girls, he has not made money to increase his attractiveness, and even if he can lure someone into bed, he risks not being able to cope. He won’t be able to cope with someone his own age, especially since her body is not flawless, and the youthful testosterone that makes it possible not to notice it is long gone. And the man finds himself in a garden of green grapes and inedible pumpkins: some won’t give, but with others he simply can’t. And how can one not feel hatred among these tantalum torments? Girls are declared selfish fools, and mature ones are generally denied the right to be called women. Such a person constantly tells what a woman is obliged to do (spoiler: everything), how she should look in order to rekindle his faded sensuality, dictates to her the meaning of life - to catch a male (him, that is). A lot says that no one needs marriage, and a woman over thirty-five is acceptable in this world except as a grandmother. Here you begin to understand the man-haters from the previous paragraph - they love to talk about these types, meaning that everyone around them is like that, and denying the wonderful strong men, which are the majority, but who do not shout so loudly and enjoy maturity and adult love.
And I thought a lot about why this dreary reality forms in the heads of older people who were previously passionate, sensitive and sensual. Often, the hotter they were in their youth, the grumpier they are now. And I think I've found the answer. These are those who have not matured, have not learned to interact and coexist. Previously, everything was covered by hormonal surges, neuroses mistaken for love, or the zombie program “get married and give birth.” Immature but rotten girls and boys are confused: they don’t want her anymore, he can’t do it anymore - and what to do now? They really don’t understand that if they can’t fuck with you until they bleed (and fall in love until they drool), then what’s the point of living with you? They simply have not grown and developed the apparatus that allows them to love and respect another person; they essentially do not know how to communicate and get along outside of bed. This construction “why do I need a man/woman in the house” is not shocking - they quite sincerely do not understand. Why value another person, what kind of intimacy can there be above the waist, what can we do together in a vertical position. They still need sex, but not so urgently, so the unsatisfied desire becomes a kind of constant irritant, which is still not worth having a permanent partner - well, you slept with him, so what, talk? Interested in his world? Learn to live side by side? Delve into other people's desires? Find common goals? How is this and why?
If we talk about a collective image, then this usually manifests itself in a desperate woman over forty, who buried her dreams of love and solemnly, for herself, cursed men.
These evil ladies, like witches, have always existed, but before they did not join feminism, and now they are trying to legalize their hatred, misandry, hiding behind the right ideas, and this is terribly offensive. The main requirement is that a man must!
In fact, aggression against men is a pure consequence of frustration; they now devalue what they have unsuccessfully strived for for the previous thirty years, and can take out their irritation on nasty men or more successful women.
Every man in the version of these feminists is a weak, evil, lustful, powerless creature, full of vices, devoid of charm. He is not allowed to do anything - be interested in women, approach children, count on basic politeness or respect.
This comes from a basic misunderstanding of one’s role as a woman in the family structure and what Love is. The concept of Love is distorted by most women due to basic Ignorance and confusing the concepts of Love and Relationships. For the most part, women consider men to be something like a free slave.
Love is giving unselfishly. Relationships are you for me, and I for you. Direct and responsible role of Women and correct understanding These truths are very important for Women themselves! Big ship called Family, moves under the control only of the Power of Love, Trust, Loyalty.
A woman is obliged to inspire a man to personal growth. In outside world there is competition and rivalry, selfishness and self-interest. A man needs feminine energy of inspiration in order to achieve something. A man always gives, a woman takes.
A woman must be beautiful. Beauty is calming. A woman's responsibilities include calming and pacifying the chaotic thoughts of her man. Therefore, being beautiful for a woman is the same responsibility as raising children, cooking, washing and cleaning the house.
The beauty of a woman includes the following basic qualities:
Caring, Tenderness, Charm, Gentleness, Flexibility, Forgiveness, Complaisance, Friendliness, Loyalty, Ability to be a good mother, Tolerance, Forgiveness, Compliance, Helpfulness, Thriftiness, Modesty, Sincerity, Affectionateness, Ability to Inspire, Emotionality, Sincerity, Sexuality, Pure Soul
However, destructive Feminism in our country is becoming fashionable among women, and now confession of patriarchal views can greatly tarnish her reputation.
Each of us hates our own kind. And those who believe that there is no female friendship are right. Even the strongest relationship of 20 years can one day break at some seemingly insignificant moment in life. And who needed her, this stupid “friend” of mine?! How stupid women are. And fat.
This is roughly how we think about other women. Let it not be out loud. And even inside yourself it’s not always loud. But be honest: how many times a day do you think badly about women? More than 10 or 20? The boss is infuriating (she probably slept with someone so that she can now boss me around); on Instagram, this fat woman shows off her fat thighs, and people like her; They don’t know how to drive on the roads: they bought licenses for cars... they begged them from the men; In the subway it’s absolutely terrifying: this one is dressed tastelessly, and this one is looking at me askance?! PISSED ON!
And women are everywhere, you can’t hide from them anywhere. So we have to smile sweetly and pretend that everything is in order, that we can adequately exist together, even despite the fact that we hate each other so much.
Shot from the series “Gossip Girl”
What is the reason for such “all-consuming love”? To answer this question, it is worth turning to childhood. It is then that personality is laid and formed. Who is our main teacher? Mother. It is she who teaches us all sorts of feminine wisdom from the series: “You’re a girl, which means...”, “Girls shouldn’t...”, “A girl should...” and the like. Since the range of these girlish rules is not very wide, it turns out that all women on the planet fall under it. Approximately identical personalities are formed. And if one person decided to stand out, execute the witch immediately! Moreover, we ourselves are sometimes ready to metaphorically deal with this or that woman who stumbles or whose behavior does not meet the standards. We rejoice at her failure more than we empathize. And this is the horror. In general, women rarely know how to rejoice in someone else’s success. Especially for women.
Shot from the series “Gossip Girl”
Appearance also plays an important role. How we love to spoil the bones of those who, in our opinion, look “not very good” or do not fall under the canons of beauty (I wonder who invented them?). For decades we have been convincing each other: “A woman should be beautiful and well-groomed. For myself. Exclusively". Come on! For a man, for other women, for society, in the end. But not for myself. Everyone knows: any mistake in appearance It will cost her a lot. So we always try to be the best. And preferably in such a way that they envy us. But, of course, for myself. For whom else?! Yes and proper nutrition, and selfies from the audience in the morning and evening - also only at your own request. I'm not that fat girl with cellulite. And how did she get married in the first place? No eyes or what?
Shot from the series “Gossip Girl”
We often repeat in conversations with men how much “these stupid chicks/women/women” infuriate us, implying that “I’m not like that!” But in fact: we are simply trying to join the male world in this way so that they will accept us there. But that will never happen. You are not special, not a man in a skirt. And other women say the same things about you that you say about them.
