Why a man doesn't want a serious relationship. A man doesn’t want a serious relationship, but won’t let go: what to do?

Hello, our dear readers! This article is dedicated to the problem whenthe man doesn't want a relationship. We'll talk about why a guy refuses Serious relationships. What to do if your loved one does not want to strengthen the relationship and runs away from responsibility?

According to statistics, almost 40% of guys today do not want a serious relationship! Why - experienced psychologists answer for our article!

What is a “serious relationship” with a man for women?

Because of their innate instincts, women want serious relationships. Simply because subconsciously you and I want stability, reliability and confidence in the future. Even if we are not yet ready for children, our instincts will forgive us by taking care of their appearance in advance.

Upbringing and traditions also leave their mark. A woman who has an open relationship with a man looks frivolous. And this can even reduce respect for women in society.

But why the man doesn't want a relationship? Doesn't he need confidence in his marital status? And it's okay if it'sthe guy doesn't want a relationship– he is young, he wants a feeling of freedom. This is not always pleasant for his partner, but it is even more or less understandable. But grown men can avoid responsibility too!

For a woman, a serious relationship is:

1. Financial confidence
2. Feeling supported
3. A defender who is always within reach
4. Soulful unity and friendship
5. Opportunity to share household chores with a partner
6. Social status
7. Full intimate life
8. Confidence in your feminine exclusivity.

To put it bluntly, a woman needs a reliable man. Something you can hide behind. From which you can give birth and not raise children alone. And which you can brag about to your surroundings.

But for a man in a serious relationship, everything is exactly the opposite.

Why a man doesn't want a serious relationship

A man needs the same thing from a relationship. Offspring, stability. He has a genetic need to be a protector. ButWhy- That the man doesn't want a serious relationship. Studying the difference between the sexes, psychologists have identified a whole list of reasons for this phenomenon. The reasons are divided into three categories:

1. Natural
2. The result of mental suffering
3. Pathological

Moreover, a man cannot cope with many of them on his own. Just as he can’t even admit to them. After all, reasons look like weaknesses.

A man doesn’t want a relationship - natural reasons

The essence of a mother is vigilant supervision of her offspring. The essence of the father is to provide for the maintenance of his offspring. That is, a man, in principle, is not so attached to relationships. He needs a feeling of freedom. But for a woman, this means that he can leave at any time. And in general this is true. Therefore, the best thing the woman came up with was to hang a lasso around the man’s neck. And this bothers him. Not even the fact itself, but the feeling of being tied.

For a man, the feeling of popularity with women is more important than the attention of many guys. A ring on his finger and a partner clutching his elbow makes him uninteresting to other girls. This is a blow to the guy mentally.

He just doesn't want to give up his freedom. And it doesn’t matter whether he is a young man or a man over 30. Another reason, the most unpleasant for you and me, is that he may only want intimacy. Without obligations. He doesn't love, he only desires. And he knows that he will leave at any moment. Forgetting about yesterday's mistress. And he lies to the girl that their relationship is about to strengthen. Identifying a liar is not easy, but it is possible.

And this is also status. In his environment, it is “fashionable” to be a “loner.” And personal status for a man is sometimes an end in itself.

The result of mental suffering

To isolate yourself from pain, the consciousness begins to put up blocks. As therapists note, sometimes it is not obviouswhy a man doesn't want a relationship. He may not remember how he tried to give the girl a kindergarten chamomile, but she offended him. The block that loving is bad and painful will have to be removed by a professional and long courtship of a man. Only love will break through this barrier.

Or the relationship on which he placed a big stake as an adult collapsed miserably. Especially if he remained offended. He wants to strengthen his relationship with his beloved, but is afraid. That she would “go bad” just like his ex. The same applies to widowers - they are simply afraid to approach women.

A man doesn’t want a relationship – pathological reasons

Not in the sense that he needs to be treated in a clinic. But the fact is that these are already some deviations, and he cannot cope with them with an effort of will.

Cowardice

This is both a trait of his character and a deviation. And it’s not necessarily that he’s afraid of relationships. He's just afraid of something. And in order to understand his fear, he begins to try it on in everything, and in relationships too. Sometimes it even happens thatthe guy doesn't want a serious relationshipjust in case. So that his incomprehensible fear does not spread to his girlfriend.

Only a specialist can help here. Or a very soft, almost hypnotic suggestion from a girl that she will not only not offend him, but will also protect him.

"Oedipus Complex"

This deviation can be slight and unnoticeable, or it can be very bright. In any case, in the eyes of such a man, no woman can outshine his mother. And he looks for an unreal image of his mother in other women, and of course, he doesn’t find it. Or his mother’s opinion is so strong that if she is against a possible daughter-in-law, then he will step on the throat of his feelings and abandon his beloved.

It is extremely difficult to resolve this problem without a doctor. Most likely you will have to become his eternal mother. Very often such men are not independent and are easy to deceive.

The other extreme is selfishness.What to do if a guy doesn't want a relationship, considering any girl unworthy of his greatness?! Narcissism is a recognized deviation. He will not find an ideal, and is not looking for it. He only takes advantage of women, and by doing so he does them a favor! Freeing him from narcissism on his own is almost impossible! Because it is impossible to explain his imperfection to him in a good way, and to hurt him is very dangerous. It is actually easy to drive him into an inferiority complex. All his life he will have to be indicatively better than others and emphasize that he is an ideal, and his woman is a goddess in the flesh. Then he will want to be around, but most likely considering that you are just a little better than others, and there is no one else to choose from.

Conclusions: a man does not want a relationship

It turns out ifthe guy says he doesn't want a relationship, this may not be true. And only love, care, frankness and perseverance will help create a reliable and strong relationship with him.

Be happy! See you again on our blog!

Margins around the form

The main thing is not to rush to get upset and disappointed. If you really like this guy, fight for your happiness, but do it wisely. After all, if you behave correctly and use all your chances, then it is very likely that he will eventually understand that you are the best and will invite you to date. But in order for you to change something in your relationship, you need to first determine the reason why the guy doesn’t want a relationship.

So, after analyzing many similar situations, I was able to identify several main reasons why a guy may not want a relationship with a girl who clearly likes him.

Reason one: the guy hasn't made up his mind. Even if the guy is not in love with you, but he just likes you, you certainly have a chance! And whether he likes you, you can easily determine if you understand at least a little about male behavior. But at the same time, you must understand that he may also like several other girls from his close circle. And if this guy is serious, he will not hit on any girl until he decides which of them he likes best. Therefore, your task in this case is to convince him that, of all the girls, he will like you the most! What do you need to do for this? First of all, I want to tell you what you should never do. Many girls, trying to attract a guy, go to extremes: either they become intrusive and almost hang themselves on the guy’s neck, or, on the contrary, they begin to behave distinctly cold and unapproachable. I assure you that both of these maneuvers in most cases not only do not work, but also cause harm! I’ll tell you a secret: we like, first of all, those girls who like us, but at the same time we can’t stand obsessive, hysterical velcro. Therefore, if you unobtrusively show a guy that you like him, but at the same time do not lay any claim on him, he will inevitably begin to pay attention to you, and soon all his thoughts will be occupied mainly with you.

Reason two: he perceives you as a friend. And, most likely, you yourself are to blame for this! I noticed that many girls, wanting to get closer to a guy they like, try to become a friend for him: they pretend to be interested in the same things as him (football, hockey, rock music), smoke and drink in company with the guy , they are frank with him and listen to his revelations in return. By behaving this way with a guy, you may become a friend for him, but not his beloved girl. Understand: we behave differently with our friends and with the girls we are in love with! So, if you want to charm a guy, choose a different path - behave with him not like a smart guy, but like a sweetheart, feminine girl. Turn on your femininity and sexuality to full capacity, do not hesitate to flirt in moderation, show that you are weak, fragile, tender - it always works! Let the guy want to take care of and protect you - then he will begin to look at you as a woman, and not as a friend, an equal to himself. If other guys like you, be sure to make your guy notice it. Jealousy and rivalry are powerful levers with which many women skillfully control men!

Reason three: the guy has financial problems. Any guy understands that courting a girl will require him to spend a lot of money. Maybe he doesn't mind dating you, but he doesn't have the money to take you to nightclubs and shower you with gifts. Moreover, keep in mind that no self-respecting guy will admit this to you, unless, of course, he has at least a little pride. Therefore, if you like a guy, but you can clearly see that he is a poor student and not a successful banker, hint to him that you are not a lover beautiful life, and that the main thing for you is love, not money. Maybe then your boyfriend will become bolder. But first, think about it: do you really love him so much that you can put up with the lack of gifts and going out?

Reason four: he is indifferent to you. But even if so, don’t despair. It is very likely that he simply has not yet had time to notice and appreciate how beautiful and sexy you are. So give him this opportunity! Appear in front of him only in full dress - perfectly made up and beautifully dressed. At the same time, be feminine, gentle, flirty. If you are even a little bit his type, sooner or later he will definitely notice which diamond is next to him and will begin to court you. If none of your tricks work, well, that means this is not your man... The main thing is, don’t even think about getting into a rage and getting fixated on him! Believe me: there is nothing more pathetic than a woman running after a man who is indifferent to her! And don’t try to solve the problem by almost forcing the guy into bed. Maybe he will sleep with you once if you openly offer yourself to him, but that will be the end of the matter. Respect and value yourself! Surely there are a lot of guys who are not indifferent to you, who dream of you paying attention to them. So switch to them.

Well, that’s basically all I wanted to advise you, dear girls. If you don't agree with me, I'm not offended. In the end, maybe you are much smarter and wiser than me in matters of conquering men’s hearts. If my advice is useful to you, I will be very happy for you. Good luck to you on the love front! Margins around the form

The other day I was standing in a traffic jam and caught myself looking with interest at the young boys and girls who were “tumbling out” of the doors of the institute in a crowd. They seemed to come out in a crowd, but then split up. Some went in pairs, others remained in a group of several people and began to look after them with longing. Moreover, such groups consisted only of girls. And it is this group that creates all the gossip and stories about the fact that men do not want a serious relationship.

It turns out that single girls are terribly jealous of those who have found a boyfriend. Probably for girls, a guy is someone who should always be there. I began to reason further. And for what? Why do girls need relationships with men, what do they think about in relationships? After all, literally every person, with the exception of a few that we won’t talk about for now, wants to find a soul mate. But let's take a look at what men are looking for in a serious relationship.

A girl, being in a relationship, counts on a man. She trusts him, relying on his strong shoulder. A man is someone who will help and support, with whom you can run a joint household and have children. Every girl wants to become a mother. Raising children is not an easy task. A man is able to take on some of the responsibilities. And together it’s easier to raise children, and it’s easier to survive ourselves.

For some reason, now I don’t really want to talk about those who simply want to marry a wealthy man and “sit on his neck.” According to the principle: “Look how beautiful I am! I'm worth a lot! If you want to see me next to you, then support me. Feed, water, shoes, dress. And so that it is no worse than that of a competitor. Otherwise, I’ll run away to him and tell him all your secrets. Everyone will laugh at you later!”

I don’t even want to think about such “personalities”. You just need to keep them away from you. I'm talking now about normal girls, about an ordinary family and human relationships. I ask myself the question: “How can we, men, understand what a girl who is in currently is it near us? What's going on in her little head? Who are you for her now: a protector, the father of her future children, the breadwinner of the family, a friend, or just a wallet?” How can we, men, not make a mistake in choosing a girlfriend and bring her closer to us?

I really wouldn’t want a bitch, a viper, or just a thief. Otherwise, you will lose trust in women. And I am in favor of prolonging my family line and starting a family with a woman who suits me, in many respects. It is a little reassuring that, after all, sooner or later, a person begins to open up and show his real “I”. And here, friends, leave this creature at this very second.

How can you build a serious relationship with a girl if she only needs money? First he blows off all the guys, then he rides with the daddies. And as age passes, and all the normal guys have gotten married, and the daddies have found younger girls, then hysterics begin. All men are scoundrels, they missed such a good girl.

Almost any guy is ready to marry a gentle and economical girl. But are there such girls? No, now everyone wants to run to clubs, ride cars and enjoy an easy life.

Girls, answer me a simple question: “Why are the most modest and quiet girls Are they consistently getting married and starting families?” Yes, because men need girls like that. There are, of course, lovers of features, but how many of these people create strong relationships.

So if a man does not want to build a serious relationship with you, then there is only one problem - you. Either they chose the wrong man, or normal men stopped choosing you. I wish everyone good luck.

Hello again, lady!

When several similar cases occur in a row in my practice, I take this as a reason to convey the essence of the problem to you.

It is better to prevent an undesirable situation than to reap the fruits of disappointment and waste time restoring your well-being.

And today’s conversation will be about how to build a relationship with a divorced man who is disappointed in his family life.

Many single women are faced with the fact that a divorced man initially makes it clear that a serious relationship is impossible. And thus, he relieves himself of responsibility for any development of events.

Before we get to the question “What should we do?”, let’s delve deeper into inner world the stronger sex and find out what is going on in his soul, what guides him when he refuses a new serious relationship. And why I am more inclined towards free relationships, without obligations.

As a rule, family troubles, scandals or indifference ex-wife were perceived very painfully by the man.

His nature, focused on making a woman happy, remained unrealized.

As a rule, a lot of effort was invested to “pull out” the family. At the same time, he did not receive support, gratitude, or due respect.

He began to associate his family with the demands, discontent, responsibilities and reproaches of the woman with whom he had once been in love.

The conviction has matured in my head: “Everyday life kills love. Family life“It’s constant tension.”

The decision has matured: “Family is not for me. Let me do my own household chores, but I will remain in good health. I will look for a woman for love, but not for family. As before, I want the comfort of home, my beloved, who is waiting at home with dinner; but there is little faith that a wife can be loving, understanding, and accepting. Therefore, in order not to give women hope, and not to “run into” complaints, I will warn that I do not need a serious relationship.”

What should a woman do who loves just such a man and wants a serious relationship with him, mutual care, love and children?

First of all, she must understand that it is not an easy task to change the prevailing beliefs of an adult. She will also need to take into account the fact that any dissatisfaction on her part will be perceived painfully by the divorced man and will strengthen the belief that a woman can only be loving for a short time.

The most reliable path is the path of your own healing, elaboration of your beliefs regarding relationships, liberation from many stereotypes, harmonization of your condition.

As a result of internal work, a woman has the strength to accept the fact of an open relationship. She can understand and accept a man more with his desires and fears.

Thus, the emotions of dissatisfaction with the situation change to a feeling of gratitude to the man for being with her, that thanks to him she was able to understand, realize, and transform a lot.

Instead of asking, “Why don’t you want to be with me?” she has a desire to love him, unconditionally, and appreciate every minute spent together. She is free from grievances, fears, worries, social slogans.

What about the man? And the man watches - “for how long”? He's still apprehensive. But the desire to spend more time with such a woman arises more often, the need to care becomes stronger. Time shows that the woman he loves is different from those he met before.

“Is this really possible? She loves me no matter what and even knowing that we cannot have a serious relationship. Finally! I met the one I had been looking for for so long and had already lost hope!” - a cautious thought creeps in.

Early belief dissolves due to real events, and not the woman’s promises that everything will be different with her.

The man’s words are not believed. They believe in time.

And the woman gets what she rightfully deserves - a loving, caring man whom she has learned to appreciate, understand, accept; which I am ready to admire every moment.

She is free from stereotypes and social instructions about how things should be. But she gets what girls who have not yet escaped the restrictions of society dream of. She basks in the attention of a man who wants to be with her for a long time. Now a woman easily talks about her desires and dreams, and her beloved happily makes them come true.

My dears, I wish you patience on the path of your development. Fill yourself with the beauty of life “here and now”, appreciate what you have today, and “tomorrow” will be better than ever.

With love and faith in you, Olesya Dmitruk,

Your relationship and life harmonization coach

In our age of consumerism, it is becoming much easier to establish pleasant, easy and short-lived relationships. Being a modest touchy-feely person is, to say the least, out of date. Some will even say that playing chastity is simply ridiculous - “the times are wrong.” Courtship remains somewhere in the distant past, poetry, flowers and serenades are a long-forgotten anachronism. After all, there is no need to achieve anything else - the beautiful half of humanity has given up their positions. Easy and pleasant relationships disappear when the slightest problem arises, only to arise again, but with a different partner - this is the model of current communication between the sexes. However, the time comes, and the girls think, if not about family, then at least about some kind of stability. But how to convey this idea to your partner, what to do if he does not need a serious relationship?

A man in such a situation can be completely understood - why bind yourself with promises, waste energy and money, let another person into your life, with his problems and concerns? After all, it is much easier to live for yourself and maintain independence. And for a pleasant pastime, find another woman who will be glad of his mere presence and will not demand the commission of actions that infringe on freedom. Making adult decisions is always difficult; it is much easier to return to an easy and relaxed life by simply changing your partner.

What should a girl do if a man doesn’t want a serious relationship? What actions should I take? To do this, you need to understand how your chosen one treats you and what he expects from your romance. If he's really in love, then it's probably because he's not ready to be responsible for you. This usually depends on age - the older a person is, the more likely it is that he is ripe for a serious relationship. Sometimes it depends on temperament - some slowness and indecisiveness do not allow him to switch to new stage relationship, but this does not mean that he is indifferent to you. Give him time to get used to the idea that you are moving to a new stage in your romance. Sometimes lifestyle interferes with the emergence of a serious relationship - perhaps the young man is now actively pursuing a career, trying to get on his feet - treat this with respect. But, if a guy spends most of his time having fun with friends, think about it. Perhaps he needs time to “work up.” Call him on straight Talk, make it clear that you are ready to hear his sincere thoughts about your future. If he turns out to be a person who lives one day at a time and is not ready to commit himself to any kind of serious relationship, maybe this is not your option? Don't blame him, be grateful for his sincerity and honesty. A young man of this type does not want to offend or cause pain. He warns the girl in every possible way against possible falling in love, realizing that with such a Casanova it is impossible to become truly happy. But a woman, falling in love, self-confidently thinks that she can change him, turn him into a monogamous man and an excellent family man. This, of course, happens, but the number of such magical transformations negligible. When this man meets his true soul mate, all these changes will happen quite naturally and he will lose his freedom easily and without regrets.

Therefore, having decided to build a serious relationship, we must clearly understand with whom we are going to build it. And remember that some men cannot be changed.

Of course, there is another reason for not wanting a serious relationship. It is possible that your chosen one simply does not love you. He feels good and comfortable with you, your feelings flatter his pride, and he doesn’t want to hurt you. You are only for him good friend who understands him, accepts him with all his shortcomings and is in a hurry to fulfill his every whim. He doesn’t want to go beyond an ordinary romance because he knows that he can’t offer you anything and is afraid to give you false hope. Finding out this is very painful and bitter, because each of us wants to be loved and the only one. No one wants to be just a replacement, a “backup option,” a way to forget the other.

When did you realize your true feelings? young man, you have to make a choice, decide how to live further. Anything can happen in life - and it may turn out that your chosen one will finally understand that you are his only one. But it is impossible to know for sure whether this day will come. It’s just that it’s easy for him to be around you, he forgets about his worries, he feels like he’s living. You are a true friend for him and very close person. But future wife he doesn't see you. Therefore, think about a way out of this situation, otherwise very soon it will come to a dead end, and you will be left with nothing but regrets, pain and disappointment.

You can end this relationship and try to forget your lover. No wonder they say that unrequited love It’s better to “get over it” than long years suffer, knowing that there is a person next to you who is indifferent to you. Try to gather your courage, take your will into your fist and break off the relationship that is causing pain to both of you.

But, if this scenario is not acceptable to you, use a different tactic. Show the young man that you no longer need him and you don’t care whether he has any feelings for you. Of course, this is not an easy role for a girl in love, but in order to make a young man think about a serious relationship, you can be patient. If he is used to you always being at arm's length and not going anywhere, your sudden cooling will greatly worry and alert him. The instinct of the owner will speak in him. Most likely, he will not like such a change, and he will want you back. Such shocks force people to rethink some phenomena in life, take a fresh look at their feelings and understand what they were afraid to admit to themselves. You're not risking anything, are you? After all, you can’t lose something that doesn’t exist. But your decisive action will show him that you have self-respect and pride. Maybe he will stop thinking that he doesn’t need a serious relationship at all?