Why a man doesn't want a relationship. Let's remain friends. "Broken Heart" and "Mama's Prince"

Good morning1 I can’t open your video... The question is; Why have I been haunted all my life by all sorts of gossip, incomprehensible conversations and even slander? Moreover, “they do this everywhere; at work, fellow students at school and even in church... Why, after some time, do I find out that someone is talking about my life, in that including personal ones, knows more than I do? THANK YOU! FAITH

Hello Maria! I have a very delicate problem - I do not experience pleasure from intimacy. Your opinion as a psychologist is interesting. I started having sex at the age of 17. Now I’m 28, I have two children, I’m married, but I’ve never experienced an orgasm. I have no gynecological diseases, but I’ve always had no sexual desire, although in general I like men. But I don’t want sexual contact as such, but rather just hugs and kisses. Sex with my husband is mostly traditional, without using sex toys, watching erotic films, etc. This is unacceptable for me. But I don’t consider myself a prude at all. For more complete information: As you know, everything comes from childhood. My parents’ attitude towards sex was rather negative. It was instilled in me that there is nothing particularly good in sex, that for a moment’s pleasure you will pay for your whole life - you will get pregnant, your boyfriend will leave you, and you will single mother. They taught me that sex should happen in adulthood, and only after marriage. In conversations, parents condemned the walkers - men and especially women. Dad called them more softly, but mom didn’t mince words. I read in some psychology books that a girl’s relationship with her father in the future will determine her relationship with the opposite sex. I can say that my father was stingy in showing emotions, never praised me, never gave me gifts. My mother did this. But on the other hand, he always calmed me down when I cried as a little girl. As for my first sexual experience, it was on the initiative of my boyfriend. I wasn’t ready for it, but I didn’t resist. He was gentle with me, so I didn’t experience any discomfort. But I waited with fear for orgasm to come, because Before that, I heard that at this moment they lose control. How will I behave at this moment, what will I look like? Will I scare off the guy? But the orgasm did not happen, there was no loss of control. It was as if fear was blocking the possibility of receiving that same pleasure. Many years have passed, but nothing has changed. Tell me how to work through this fear?

Good afternoon, Maria! Please tell me what to do when your opponent hangs up during a conversation. The situation is as follows: an employee of one company calls the director of another company to clarify information on the reports of his company. And this director, apparently considering that the conversation is over, has such a habit of hanging up the phone without even saying “goodbye”; if it matters, both people are female. Moreover, when this same director communicates with senior management, she does not behave like that. I'm in company new person, and about this woman, my mentor told me, who had such a sad experience of communicating with such a unique person. And I’m just about to communicate with her, and I wouldn’t want to seem soft and weak, what do you recommend? I also have this peculiarity: I can’t give a decent answer right away, maybe there are some universal phrases when communicating with arrogant people. One day an employee called me and asked me about work issues, after which she said: are you a professional? I answered, not yet, to which she said: I think so too and hung up. This made me smile because I immediately understood this maneuver. And this employee is also “famous” in our company for her performance, she famously insults, and at the same time is often wrong. Then she doesn’t pick up the phone at all. And when she needs to find out something, she is like a fox.

Serious relationships in our time are a more relevant topic than ever. Free morals and free love led to what many call the “destruction of the family institution.” But this definition is very radical: rather, it can be called a modification. After all, families continue to be created, and very happy families. It’s better to look at the situation from a different angle - why doesn’t a man want a relationship? After all, it is often the man who tries to avoid the serious role of the father of the family and prefers meetings without obligations.

The vast majority of girls and women are not happy with this course of things. And they either end the relationship with a specific person and begin to look for a more “accommodating” candidate for the role of husband, or they become disappointed in all men in general. In the latter case, a woman often comes to the “objective” conclusion that in such a “vicious” society there is no place for real feelings and falls into chronic depression.

In this article we will try to figure out what is the reason for such situations, as well as when and how to influence a man so that he decides to take a serious step. And we will find out whether it is necessary to do this at all.

Where have serious men gone: a little history

How did it happen that relationships ceased to be so important for men that they would strive to tie the knot with the woman they liked? It's all about changing the moral standards of society. Moreover, women themselves played a huge role in this. In the old days, a man after marriage received:

• The ability to constantly communicate with a woman alone.
• Regular sex, which was not condemned by society and the church.
• The position of a respectable father of a family - such a person was trusted much more than a lonely adventurer without a wife and children.
• Power over a woman (however, sometimes the calculations came true exactly the opposite).

The sexual revolution, into which the weaker sex “plunged headlong” and overly aggressive feminism, has led to the fact that it is now possible to communicate with a woman alone and engage in sexual contacts at least 24 hours a day. No one will say a word - on the contrary, they will also praise you.

The same applies to the status of a family man - this is paid attention only in certain circles (politics, serious corporations, etc.). Few people now need power over a woman: taking into account all of the above, this has become irrelevant.

The current state of affairs cannot be called immoral or bad - it is a natural course of events, which it is stupid to resist. But you can and should adapt. By changing your perspective and taking a few steps, you can almost always look forward to a long-term, serious relationship with a man you like and who likes you.

My boyfriend doesn't want stability - why?!

To fully illuminate this question, it is necessary to clarify what exactly women understand by a serious relationship. So, a woman expects from a man:

1. support and protection at any time (at least remotely);
2. official registration of relations;
3. financial assistance and stability;
4. spiritual and emotional intimacy;
5. full sexual relationships;
6. words and deeds that will prove that she is the one and only.

A woman wants to be sure that her chosen one will be able to take care of both her and their children. That there will always be a feeling of a man’s “strong shoulder” nearby. In short, she expects stability.

But a man expects something completely different from his woman - he does not need stability in a relationship. At least at first.

After all, most representatives of the stronger sex associate it with boredom. A man loves variety, novelty and constant intrigue. If a woman manages to give him all this, he himself will try not to miss her.

• Now let’s clarify what exactly leads to a man not wanting to enter into a serious relationship with the woman he likes. Here are some of the most common reasons:
• he is simply not mentally ready for such a step;
• he is not ready for such a step with you;
• in the past he was seriously traumatized, and he is afraid of being “burnt” again;
• fear of taking responsibility;

psychological problems. The most interesting thing is that not everyone can cope with these problems on their own. And here female influence

can become a catalyst that radically changes the situation. Now let's look at each of the reasons in more detail.

Eternal Peter Pan. Prince, but not your fairy tale Situation No. 1. The man who didn't leave childhood

, will never strive for a serious relationship. They mean for him the collapse of all hopes and desires. After all, alone he can do everything, while a family will put an end to his free life and adventures. At least, this is what many “eternal boys” think.

The feeling of freedom for such men is the most important thing in life. They intuitively feel when a woman begins to evaluate them as a potential husband and instantly “jump off the hook.” For them, a ring on their finger means the loss of the lion's share of attention from other women and, as a result, their own failure. This is a moral blow of great force, which can only be overcome by very strong and deep feelings for a woman. Situation No. 2. You have met the man of your dreams. He embodies all the very best and you have already managed not only to fall head over heels in love with him, but also to plan your life together

for the next 70-80 years. There is only one thing that confuses you - this ideal husband candidate in all respects is in no hurry to tie the knot. Why doesn't a man want Serious relationships

, if he behaves so romantically and “like a man”? Most likely, the answer will unpleasantly surprise you - he is not against serious relationships, as such. He just doesn't want them with you. Closeness or communication is quite enough for him: he does not see you in his future. The reasons that a guy doesn’t want to continue a relationship with you are very different: you’re not his type ( about appearance), he doesn’t like some of your habits, character traits, manners, etc. If we are talking about appearance, we immediately advise you not to waste time on this person.

There is no point in changing hair color, waist and hip size for the sake of someone who only needs a “picture”. After all, for someone else, your figure and face will be the most beautiful in the world.

But you can work on your manners, voice and some character traits. But for this it is better to turn to friends or relatives who evaluate you objectively. They will tell you what you need to adjust and what is your “highlight”.

"Broken Heart" and "Mama's Prince"

There are times when a man avoids relationships due to previous disappointments and grievances. Betrayal can cause very strong emotional wounds that are not easy to heal. The fear of experiencing these sensations again makes a man “play” women's hearts and not become attached to any of your partners.

On the one hand, in such a situation, a wise woman will be able to help her partner cope with the pain, and so successfully that the man himself will want to continue the relationship at a new level.

But on the other hand, a woman who is trying to change the current state of affairs must be prepared for disappointment. After all, sometimes such an “unfortunate Don Juan” who said that he does not want to enter into a relationship can only be helped by a professional psychologist.

The infantile man is another “classic of our time.” Raised by strict single mothers, such men are not used to making decisions on their own. And especially not going to enter into a serious relationship. They themselves have not yet grown up: even if your chosen one is well over 40, even over 50, this means nothing.

He has the consciousness of a teenager, in which there is very little masculinity. In such a situation, it all depends on how much he likes you, and whether he is ready to change for this. Otherwise, you will make decisions for him for the rest of your life and independently play the role of a “male shoulder.”

Something about complexes, egoism and male psychology

Among the psychological problems that cause a man to avoid serious relationships, the Oedipus complex comes first. Such a man is subconsciously in love with his mother and is looking for a partner who is like her in everything. Of course, without success. In this case, you definitely can’t do without a psychologist.

In second place is banal egoism. Having met such a man, you will soon understand how lucky you are, because next to you is HE... The only one, beautiful, infallible and perfect from all sides and in every action. Narcissism is practically incurable, and one can only sympathize with a woman who tries to understand why a man does not want to build a serious relationship and does everything possible to change him.

She will have to constantly “keep the bar up,” be on top and thank fate (and her chosen one) every day for the happiness of being next to such an incredible guy. After all, he could have chosen anyone, but he condescended to her. Really, lucky?

But sometimes it’s not even about you, but about male psychology. If a woman dates a man long enough, she begins to believe that this is already “serious”. A man can date and even live with a woman for years, have children together and treat this as a meaningless connection. And he won’t even think about walking her down the aisle.

Only love can change the situation. This explains the cases when a man lived in a civil marriage for years, claiming that he did not want a more serious relationship, and then suddenly meets another woman and signs with her just a couple of months later.

Remember: an adequate, independent man does not strive for a relationship less than a woman, and will definitely tell her about it.

Of course, provided that he sincerely likes his partner and arouses the most strong feelings. Therefore, a woman who loves and knows herself, knows how to present herself and give a man what he really needs, will never be left alone.

Why doesn't a man want a relationship? This question is usually asked by those followers of Eva who strive to establish a serious and long-term relationship literally from the first date, and even if this period is extended, the ancestral genetic program forces them to look for the most stable and reliable representatives to live together. To find out fate further development In the first stages of the novel, women are still trying to understand everything by indirect signs, asking veiled questions, but if, from her point of view, some kind of relationship has developed, and the man does not behave in accordance with her idea, then the option of a direct question and the same direct one is likely answer about not wanting a relationship.

After this, some women will turn around and leave to look for someone who will instantly go crazy over her and drag her to the wedding, while some will remain wondering what these words mean. What reasons prompted the man to answer this way, and many other variations are topics that gather girlfriends for evening gatherings in the kitchen for a long time. It is worth remembering that any pleasant acquaintance with a woman is not perceived by a man as an obligatory continuation of the relationship; a lot is done for the sake of pleasure or keeping in shape. When a man offers to have a good time, he means only that, so he will be extremely surprised by the fact that you have already notified your mother about your relationship. At the same time, you shouldn’t think all sorts of nasty things about it, because you were immediately told what and how it would happen.

Even if you begin to have a relationship, the man initially sees it as a pleasant time together, and when the woman turns on the program of hyper-seriousness to create a future, such assertiveness is frightening and a statement that the relationship is not needed now, the man may simply try to win back that piece of freedom and personal boundaries that he had. According to logic and biology, he must force events and woo the lady, but when everything changes places, the man may experience terrible discomfort.

But there is a third option, due to a person’s lack of a period or state when he is ready for a relationship; there is only a desire for a relationship with a specific person, so if you hear about not being ready for a relationship, then you should not heal your prospective partner. It may make sense to move away, since he has no desire to create a relationship with you.

Why men don't want serious relationships - psychology

In a situation where something happens between you, you may even periodically live in the same territory, but nothing goes further, you need to figure out not why a man does not want a relationship with a woman, but why he is avoiding a serious turn in it. Usually this is a justifiably invented and replicated image of family life and examples of friends who constantly complain. It is impossible to develop serious desires with a girl who does not take him seriously (disrespectful behavior or the desire to please all men, without giving priority to your own). In second place in popularity is female coldness, manifested in the lack of expression of love for a man (only consent to sex and no initiative), measured expression of feelings (giving affection only for actions the woman likes), and a negative attitude towards motherhood. With such a set of emotional prerequisites, there is no prospect of building relationships, since he sees in advance that he will not receive enough warmth and support there, and family life will become the second front of work.

Noticing an iron character in your companion or a desire to completely subjugate a man’s will, there is a desire to isolate yourself and find someone softer. In addition, many women so directly strive to get married, ignoring men's psychology and psychology, that a man becomes a piece of furniture.

But there are also more mundane reasons for refusing serious decisions - these are material and everyday ones. If a man is responsible, then before starting a family, the man will try to achieve a stable and high level income. the fact that there is nowhere to bring the bride can block all desires to be together, and not every person can afford to live in the same area with their parents purely psychologically. So, a man puts the purchase of an apartment and advancement in his career, earning capital and developing himself as a specialist in the first place in his implementation. If the woman nearby is capable of wisely appreciating that all these efforts are being made to ensure their future, then she will wait for the cherished invitation to the wedding. To those who will be offended and complain about the lack of attention and quick steps to change, it is unlikely that it will be possible to understand all the true concerns of a man about providing for his family. But if your man has already received an education, has established himself as a specialist, has permanent job and housing, but tells you that you need finances to move to a better area or you will formalize the relationship after his promotion - it is worth raising the issue openly and seriously, because otherwise such delays can drag on for decades.

Why a man doesn’t want a relationship and won’t let go

It is emotionally difficult to be between tearing opposite impulses, and this type of relationship indicates a significant discord, perhaps they have even already ended, just for internal reasons the end has not been set. From a female perspective, when a man does not let go (a holding tendency) and says that he does not want a relationship (a dividing tendency) requires clarification, since such a situation does not allow a woman to continue to live fully. Try to immediately exclude the option of the presence of several women and your own participation in the casting or a role in reserve if someone refuses. Many women's attempts to understand the psychology and childhood traumas of men ultimately rested on the simple explanation of polygamy.

Frequent psychological reason is a man’s inability to make decisions or the habit of shifting responsibility. Having such personal characteristics, a man is not able to determine his desires and profitable directions of movement. If you sway a little in either direction, he will support any of your decisions. The choice is yours: stay and make all the important decisions on your own for the rest of your life, or take a closer look at men who understand what they want from you. own life and women nearby.

Perhaps the man simply took a wait-and-see attitude and will make the relationship official when you improve. If, when talking about the future, he says that you are not completely satisfied, listen carefully to the list of your shortcomings - it is their correction that he expects from you. Indeed, by improving your personality or appearance, you will earn a place next to him. Remember that the transformation of the personality of an adult is a task from the realm of science fiction, if you do not expose him extreme situations And drastic changes situation. It takes titanic efforts to even eradicate one habit, so perhaps it makes sense to wait for someone who will accept you without artificial straightening. But it happens that a man does not know what does not suit him, fearing to make a mistake. This is a misunderstanding female psychology or the inability to figure out whether this is his woman or not, many try to distinguish the truth from the pretense (for example, many have read that women manipulate tears, and tense up every time a woman cries). An honest, open conversation can help here, where the man will have space to clarify any confusion; the woman only needs to answer in as much detail as possible.

Men are afraid of loneliness, and if you previously had a relationship, but now it has faded, and the man does not disappear, then this is fear, and not the remnants of past feelings that can be reanimated. And if in the previous options you could choose between staying or leaving, then in the case when a man’s behavior is driven by a neurotic fear of loneliness, and everything has already died out between you, there is only one option - to leave. Moreover, leave as quickly and gently as possible, not allowing this model of relationship to take hold and protecting yourself from the hysteria of the abandoned person (switch his attention in advance to someone you don’t feel sorry for). A man’s unstable attitude towards a woman is reflected when her positive aspects can attract, and the negative ones can repel with the same force, and he himself does not understand which outweighs. A woman can correct this by talking, finding out that she can easily correct some negative traits or, on the contrary, will never change such things.

Why a man doesn't want a relationship after a divorce

Divorce is one of the most stressful factors, along with death. loved one, and the idea that only women experience this tragedy seriously, while men get over it easily, are erroneous. It is men who endure the post-divorce period harder and longer, because they are accustomed to restraining and maintaining their image strong in spirit, when women can afford to cry, skip a few days of work, and ask for support and help from everyone around them. Such features of overcoming a crisis lead to protracted traumas, and unprocessed traumas remain in the soul and leave an imprint on the further construction of life. After such shocks, a man is afraid of serious obligations for a certain time or simply wants to take a break from them, so perhaps he has lost his sympathy for the woman and has completely moved away emotionally in order to establish contacts, but not enough time has passed to establish a new serious and deep connection. This is the option when little time has passed and the man is not ready yet, but there is also the opposite option, when the divorce has already passed a long period loneliness and freedom. Most likely, such people will not return to a couple relationship, having become accustomed to living with ease and independence, without coercion, responsibility and the need to align their characteristics with another person.

But there are cases of complete erosion of trust, for example, when a man in a relationship was used exclusively from the material side and there was betrayal, along with humiliation. After something like this, it’s hard to separate one from the other and it’s easier to choose a strategy of distrust than to try to determine whether you can trust your new companion. The image of an ex living in a man’s soul, who does not leave the same moment when her things left the house, can interfere with building a new relationship. Comparisons made with the girls he meets in the present moment will always not be in their favor (well, his new friend doesn’t know that he doesn’t drink coffee, but only tea and only with lemon) - to withstand this you need to have a very stable psyche. If you really need this man, then be patient, have sessions with a psychoanalyst and regularly increase your self-esteem with your friends, then you can show him that he is important, you are stable, and in some ways you are certainly better than his ex.

Why doesn't a man want a relationship with a woman with a child?

In cases where a man starts a relationship, and even a serious one, with a woman whose children are quite rare, they usually prefer to avoid such situations, especially if the man himself does not have children. The first reason for this is that building relationships does not begin according to the usual scenario and instead of elevating the man to first place and giving him maximum attention, the woman’s priority is the child. This includes jealousy, misunderstanding and simple selfishness with the desire to receive the necessary dose of attention and care.

Even if a relationship has begun, it is built simultaneously not only with the woman, but also with her child, whom it is not possible to love as one’s own; in addition, there is a constant that the child will not love or accept the man, and will accordingly influence the mother’s choice . To get involved in something like this means to bear a double amount of responsibility, and not everyone can say whether they want a serious continuation even with an absolutely free woman. Moreover, the appearance common child together with joy, in this option will also bring another crisis and the intensity of the situation.

If the child’s father is unknown, died, abandoned them before birth, then in a sense this brightens up the future, but if this is an ex-husband visiting his offspring, then the need to put up with this presence of many men plunges them into an inadequate state. The child constantly draws the mother’s attention to himself, while he needs to make friends with him, and also somehow withstand competition with ex-husband, observing the line that the father is always more important than the newly appeared uncle. Dancing like this between all the lights, a man remains a man and the instincts to drive another away from his territory continue to work, so self-control may not always work. Situations may be varying degrees gravity, but what men immediately see is large quantity difficulties and responsibility, the need for wisdom. Although if present real love, then the relationship develops harmoniously and children become a wonderful part, and not a burden.

Why a man doesn't want a relationship with a married woman

A relationship with a busy woman is convenient and should liberate a man, because she doesn’t demand anything, doesn’t insist on marriage, doesn’t get into her soul, but many men are against this.

Firstly, men are accustomed to being first and leaders, they need to conquer a woman, confirm their possessive instincts, and in a situation where a woman initially belongs to another, and he is only a backup option, meetings with whom are completely in women's hands greatly ruins many men.

Secondly, if a man chooses to maintain a calm tactic, while giving the attention the woman needs, then he will defeat her husband in a secret battle, and the woman can leave her family for the one she loves (such a man is unlikely to get a divorce). Then, in addition to the laurels of the winner, possible children from a previous marriage, everyday life, financial responsibility and doubts about the fidelity of his woman are attached to the man’s neck (he knows for sure that she is capable of starting parallel relationships).

If a man is determined to have a family and children, then option married woman initially not for him. In addition, secrecy and the possibility of exposure fuel feelings only at first, then it begins to get boring, and the desire arises to go wherever you want and introduce your woman to friends. And the consequences of disclosing the relationship for a man can be extremely varied, but definitely not pleasant (depending on the possibilities and the husband who recognized him), for example, in the form of broken limbs, deprivation of his favorite position, as well as public censure. In addition, a lover may be afraid of himself, because even starting an affair, without having particularly warm feelings for his married woman at the beginning, everything can develop into love and then he will realize that this is not his woman, and he does not dare make any claims to his spouse , can heat up a man’s internal state.

Every person may face a situation when close friends, colleagues or classmates stop communicating with him. Since humans are social creatures, they can be very upset when they are simply forgotten about. You may feel sad, embarrassed, or even annoyed when your friends stop communicating with you. However, these feelings will pass over time. There are a few things you can do to manage your emotions, respond appropriately to a situation, and emerge victorious. This article contains practical advice that will help you get through the current situation.

Steps

Deal with your emotions

Think about the possibility that the current situation may have arisen by mistake. Most likely, your friend did not do this to you on purpose. This happens often. Therefore, such a situation should not be a reason for sadness.

• For example, perhaps your connection was cut off due to a lost email or unsent text message. In addition, this situation could have happened simply because your friend did not think about the consequences. In fact, his intention was not to offend you. He may greatly regret what happened.

1. Acknowledge your emotions. If your friends have forgotten about you, you may be experiencing a range of negative emotions. For example, you may feel sad at first, then angry and jealous. It is quite normal if you experience such emotions. Instead of denying them, acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to experience them.

   Tell someone how you feel. You will feel better if you share your feelings with someone. Talk to a parent, a close friend, or someone you trust. Explain what happened and be honest about how you feel.

   • The person you are sharing your feelings with may have experienced a similar situation before. He can give you some advice on how to deal with the situation.
   • If your friends do this to you often, or you feel very stressed as a result, consult a psychologist who can help you. professional help. If you are in school, talk to the school counselor. If you have already left school age, then consult an experienced psychologist.

2. Write down your emotions in a journal. Journaling is beneficial for both physical and emotional health. Journaling will help you better understand your feelings, reduce stress, and improve your ability to cope with problems.

   • Take a notepad and write down your feelings for a few minutes every day. This will help you get through an unpleasant situation if your friend is not paying attention to you. Your first post could be about this. Describe the situation in detail. Write down what emotions you are experiencing.

Correct reaction

1. Show compassion for the person who has forgotten about you. Even though you may be hurt by what happened, you can think about what is happening to the person who is not communicating with you. Such an act characterizes him as an insecure person. Therefore, the problem is more with him than with you.

   Change negative thinking to positive. Of course, when bad things happen, we tend to view things in a negative light. If a friend doesn't want to talk to you, you're unlikely to think about it. positive side. However, try to change your negative thinking into a positive one. Thanks to this your emotional condition will improve.

   • For example, after what happened, you may say to yourself: “Nobody loves me!” Of course, this idea is not true. You are greatly exaggerating. To change this negative thought to a positive one, you can say to yourself: “I good man and friend. People who are dear to me enjoy spending time with me.”

2. Act as if nothing had happened with a person who does not want to communicate with you. If he did this on purpose, then it is best not to show his true emotions. Such people, as a rule, can use people with whom they have broken ties to show their importance and rise above them. So even if you are upset, try not to show it. Thanks to this, your offender will not experience the expected triumph. Instead, act as if nothing had happened.

   • For example, if you are not invited to a party or other event, do not show that you are very upset. Tell us how much fun you had with your family members. If anyone mentions last party, you can say, “Looks like you had a lot of fun. Great! I didn't know there was a party planned, but I was busy anyway. What else did you do over the weekend?

3. Ask why your friend did this to you. If you feel like there's been a mistake or you can't figure out what happened, talk to a friend about it. You can ask your friend why he did this. Perhaps it was a stupid mistake. It can also be said that his actions hurt your feelings.

   • If you think there was a mistake, you can say, “I think there was a mistake and I didn’t receive an invitation to your birthday.”
   • If you think your friend's actions were intentional, say, “I didn't receive an invitation to your birthday. Of course, this is your holiday and only you have the right to decide who to invite to the party. I’m just wondering why I wasn’t on the invite list?”

Life goes on

1. Forgive the person who did this to you. This is more important to you than to your abuser. By holding a grudge, you harm yourself. Therefore, if you learn to forgive others, you will happy man. Forgive, even if the person who offended you did not ask for your forgiveness.

The answer to this question depends on how you broke up. In the case where the breakup of the relationship was facilitated by the appearance of a third person, maintaining friendly relations will be quite difficult, if not impossible! It's easiest to be friends with ex-boyfriend when you broke up by mutual desire. Let's look at the pros and cons of such a friendship with an ex-boyfriend.

Moments when you shouldn't be friends with your ex

When should you not be friends with your ex-boyfriend?

• New relationships. The new young man who has appeared in your life will most likely be against such friendship. For a full-fledged relationship, you will have to define clear boundaries of friendship or completely end any relationship with your ex-boyfriend. It's even worse to hide your parallel relationship with your ex from your current boyfriend. You need to decide what is more important to you this moment and be clear about it. Remarque once said: “Love is not tarnished by friendship.” And he was absolutely right!
• Self-deception. Friendship with an ex is absolutely pointless if you still have love feelings to him. It is friendship that no one needs here. And an important goal will remain the possibility of renewing relations in the future. You shouldn't hurt yourself or others.
• Addiction. According to authoritative publications, friendship does not make sense if you have become too dependent on your ex-boyfriend. And here it doesn’t matter at all in what terms: emotional, financial, etc. And if your love has passed, then you should learn to live on your own!

When should you stay friends with your ex?

• General activities ( collaboration). It's always better to remain friends than to look for a new job. In such a situation, it would be a good idea to weigh the pros and cons of your decisions. If you really like your job and are trying to build a career here, then you should think about maintaining a good, friendly relationship with your ex-boyfriend. If going to work every day becomes a certain difficulty for you, then you can simply change your job, or better yet, force your ex to change his workplace.
• Common children. Everything is clear here. You will have to think not only about yourself, but also about your children. The child constantly needs to feel the support of both parents. An exception may be a situation when an ex-boyfriend behaves inappropriately or completely manipulates you.
• Mutual acquaintances and friends. In this case, friendship with your ex-boyfriend is simply necessary. The company may split into two camps. Those who will be constantly with you and those who will be constantly with him. It will be morally difficult to meet in the same company and not notice your ex. Therefore, in this case, it is useful to maintain friendly relations.
• Joint, useful connections. If your boyfriend is a competent specialist or has unique skills, it would be stupid to lose this connection. Perhaps his help as a specialist will come in handy someday. Provided that you broke up with him on good terms. It may seem too selfish, but it definitely won’t get any worse!

Experts say that the desire to communicate with an ex-boyfriend is dictated by love or family relationships, which are completed incorrectly. This condition is treated by simulating a conversation with an ex without his presence. During such conversations, you begin to understand what exactly you need from your ex. Try to understand yourself this way. This will reduce the risk of inferiority of an unnecessary inferior friendship to minimal losses. The main rule is to always remain yourself!