Funny sayings and funny aphorisms. Quotes with humor Humorous sayings about life wise short

The duty of a jester is not only to joke, but also to tell the truth.
Ilya Brazhnin

Buffoonery is the secret chastity of truth.
Fazil Iskander

Humor is the court jester in times when truth does not ring like bells.
K. Ludwig Berne

The witty is paradoxical, the paradoxical is witty: both represent some kind of truth that does not fit into words, logic or accepted ideas and made itself felt too unexpectedly.
Alexander Kruglov

A joke or a mocking word is often more successful and better defines even important things than a serious and deep study.
Horace

Without the funny, it is impossible to understand the serious, and in general the opposite can be understood with the help of the opposite.
Plato

The highest wisdom is when philosophizing, not to appear to be philosophizing and to achieve a serious goal with a joke.
Plutarch

Wit is an outlet for feelings of hostility that cannot be satisfied in any other way.
Sigmund Freud

A joke makes it possible to satisfy the lustful or hostile instinct, despite the obstacle in its path.
Sigmund Freud

A joke allows us to use something funny in our enemy that we could not, due to some obstacles, express openly or consciously. A joke will bribe the listener with the lure of pleasure so that he, without delving into the problem, will accept our point of view.
Sigmund Freud

Humor does not submit to fate, it is stubborn and marks not only the triumph of the Self, but also the triumph of the principle of pleasure, which is capable of establishing itself here despite the unfavorable circumstances of reality.
Sigmund Freud

The comedian achieves superiority because he enters into the role of an adult, to some extent identifies with the father and mistakes other people for children.
Sigmund Freud

Great thoughts are often the most smiling.
Jean Guyot

The funniest thing is just a slight exaggeration of the serious things that surround us in real life.
Charles Chaplin

If sexual relations provide the easiest material for jokes, always at hand, ready and accessible even to weak wit, as the abundance of obscenities shows, then this is explained by the fact that they are based on something deeply serious.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Laughter is the only test of the serious, and seriousness is the only test of the funny. A subject is suspicious that cannot stand ridicule, and a joke is false that does not stand the test of seriousness.
Gorgias

Arthur Schopenhauer

There is no separate laughter culture, because there is no culture without laughter, and there is no laughter without tears.
Vladimir Mikushevich

All serious humor begins with the fact that you stop taking yourself seriously.
Hermann Hesse

A comedian is a person who feels the disharmony of the world.
Karl Hammaren

From good humor always a sad laugh.
Glushkov

The comic quickly becomes mournful if it is human.
Anatole France

The tragic is just as funny as the comic.
Fedor Dostoevsky

If a joke is hidden behind something serious, this is irony; if serious for a joke - humor.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Humor is the ability to see three sides of the same coin.
Ned Rorem

Humor is truth in life-safe doses.

Humor is as personal as sex.
Gene Shepherd

Humor climbs around a tree like ivy. Without a trunk it is no good.
Heinrich Heine

A person who is not at least partly humorous is only partly human.
Gilbert Chesterton

Everything human is sad. The hidden source of humor is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain

Humor is a very rare metal.
Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov

Humor, of course, restores what pathos destroys, but when there is a lot of it, it itself begins to destroy. And chronic humor creates cynicism, which is very convenient to live with, because a person underestimates everything. He puts a low price on everything.
Victoria Tokareva

Cynicism is humor in a bad mood.
Herbert George Wells

Only bars separate humor from the insane asylum.
Heinrich Heine

There is no black humor because there is no white humor.
Mose

If a person has no sense of humor, he should at least have the feeling that he has no sense of humor.

If a person lacks a sense of humor, then there was a reason.
Danil Rudy

As women age, they rely more and more on cosmetics, and men on their sense of humor.
George Gene Nathan

I trade my sense of humor for a reason to laugh.

Everything must be taken seriously when humor fails.
S. Butler

A sense of humor is a great thing. Going through life without a sense of humor is as absurd as riding in a carriage without springs.
G. Beecher

Humor is the seriousness hidden behind a joke.
D. Weiss

Sometimes a small joke is enough to bring down great arrogance.
L. Vauvenargues

Humor is one of the elements of genius, but when it prevails, it loses its quality and becomes a surrogate.
I. Goethe

Don't lose your sense of humor. Humor is to a person what fragrance is to a rose.
D. Galsworthy

A sense of humor is a sense of proportionality.
D. Gibran

Arousing compassion for the beautiful that is ridiculed and does not know its worth is the secret of humor.
F. Dostoevsky

Humor is the wit of deep feeling.
F. Dostoevsky

Where jokes end, humor begins.
Werner Fink

Humor is a weapon for the unarmed.
Alberto Moravia

Humor is the smile of a person who knows how little reason there is to laugh.
Julien de Falkenare

Arousing compassion for the ridiculed and self-conscious beauty is the secret of humor.
Fedor Dostoevsky

Humor is a sense of distance.
Bertolt Brecht

Humor activates the mechanism of thought.
Mark Twain

There is a humor of ideas, a combination of thoughts that have never before met each other in a human head, a civil marriage between jokes and wisdom.
Heinrich Heine

A comedian makes you laugh. A comedian makes you think and then laugh.
George Burns

Humor is mostly a man's business.
Karel Capek

A funny phrase must be cherished, groomed, affectionately stroking the subject.
Ilya Ilf

There are three rules for writing funny things, but, unfortunately, no one knows which ones.
From the book “Quotes from Peter” (1977)

Humorist; a person who juggles himself.
Ramon Gomez de la Serna

Comedians always sit at the children's table.
Woody Allen

God is a comedian. If you don't believe me, look at yourself in the mirror.
Ken Olson

Among those who love humor, there are also those who understand it.
Alexander Furstenberg

Differences in the sense of humor are the cause of considerable difficulties in love.
George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)

Difference between English humor and American humor - $150 per minute.
Eric Idle

There is little feeling and even less humor in the sense of humor of a prankster.

A prankster is a person whose sense of humor has crowded out all other feelings.

The only way to make some people laugh is to slip on ice and fall.
Edgar Howe

Humor is the talent to spontaneously put one in a good mood.
I. Kant

Only those who combine sophistication and ease with a rich imagination can joke gracefully and talk entertainingly about trifles: sprinkling funny witticisms means creating something out of nothing, that is, creating.
J. Labruyère

Humor is good-natured contemplation and artistic image the absurdities of life.
S. Leacock

Having a sense of humor, you find pleasure in the vagaries of human nature.
S. Maugham

I have no innate faith in people. I am inclined to expect more bad than good from them. This is the yen you have to pay for a sense of humor. Having a sense of humor, you find pleasure in the vagaries of human nature; you don’t trust noble declarations too much, always looking for the unworthy motives that are hidden behind them; the discrepancy between appearance and reality entertains and, where it cannot be found, tempts us to create it.
S. Maugham

A comedian will immediately spot a charlatan, but not always recognize a saint. But if a one-sided view of people is an expensive price to pay for a sense of humor, there is also a valuable side to it. When you laugh at people, you don't get angry with them. Humor teaches tolerance, and a humorist - sometimes with a smile, and sometimes with a sigh - would rather shrug his shoulders than judge. He does not read morals, it is enough for him to understand; But it’s not without reason that it is said that to understand means to regret and forgive.
S. Maugham

From the great to the ridiculous - one step.
Napoleon I

Only stupid people live without humor.
M. Prishvin

Humor is Lifebuoy on the waves of life.
V. Raabe

If humor only caused laughter, then you could hardly show more interest in humor writers than you show in privacy clown The comedian strives to awaken and guide the right direction your feelings of love, pity, condescension, your aversion to lies, deceit, false prestige, your tenderness for the weak, the disadvantaged, the oppressed, the unfortunate. To the best of his ability and ability, he comments on the most everyday and ordinary actions and feelings of people. In other words, he takes on the duties of a weekday preacher.
W. Thackeray

There is no place for jokes in the insensitive mind.
W. Shakespeare

When a joker laughs at his own joke, it loses its value.
F. Schiller

It is the funny habits of people that make life enjoyable and bind society together.
Erasmus of Rotterdam

It is impossible to imagine our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. Therefore, from time to time, each of us needs to step away from everyday worries, relax and have at least a little fun. Cool phrases and funny sayings are a sure and wonderful way to quickly raise Have a good mood. Cool phrases and statuses are very popular because they describe exciting moments in the lives of many people in a humorous way. They will help you amaze your interlocutors with your wit, as well as amuse your friends, colleagues, bored company or guests at a holiday party. Cool expressions They can also be useful to “defuse” tense situations or in awkward situations when you need to correct your mistake.
There are many wonderful funny phrases and expressions. I tried to select the best, coolest “phrases” that, in my opinion, deserve the most attention. Read, and let no one be left without a smile!

My character, of course, is not sugar, but I was not created to be added to tea!
If I ever die because of a man, it will only be from laughing.
I'm neither good nor bad. I am kind with an evil stripe!
I only have one life and I can't afford to be unhappy!
I thought I was special, but it turned out I was better than everyone else...
It’s not enough to know your worth—you also need to be in demand.
What it is, you can’t put it back!!!
So what if the wind is in my head, but my thoughts are always fresh...
Where have you seen a cat that cares what mice say about it?
If you spit in my back, it means I'm ahead of you!
Don't tell me what to do and I won't tell you where to go!
If you want me to be an angel, organize heaven for me!
My life my rules. If you don't like my rules, don't interfere in my life.
IN vicious relationships not noticed... Wasn't there? No... Not noticed!
You need to live in such a way that others experience depression!
When will they learn to conduct light in ladies' handbag?! I really need it!!!
We are strong women: we will take out the trash and brains if necessary!
I'm losing weight on three diets! (I can’t get enough of two...)
He eats - I cook, he wears - I wash, he scatters - I clean. And what would I do without him...
Women's folk pastime: I came up with it myself, I was offended myself.
I’m like champagne: I can be playful, but I can also hit you in the head...
That's how I want to be weak woman, but, as luck would have it, the horses are galloping, the huts are burning...
Sometimes my husband shudders from me... Still, I am an amazing woman!!!
The girls are standing on the sidelines, fiddling with handkerchiefs in their hands... Because for every ten girls, according to statistics: 1 is gay, 4 are alcoholics, 2 are divorced, 2 are drug addicts and 1 is normal, but he is married...
What is the difference between fake love and real love? Fake: “I like the snowflakes on your hair!” The real one: “Fool, why without a hat?”
If a woman has sparkles in her eyes, it means the cockroaches in her head are celebrating something.
- How to drive a girl crazy?
- Give her a lot of money and close all the stores!
Men, let’s do the laundry, clean, cook, iron….and we want you!
I really want to cuddle up to someone, put my lips to my ear and whisper...: “Give me money!”
Sometimes I open my closet, look at it for a long time and realize that I’m keeping two-thirds of my clothes in case I go crazy.
Classic women's wardrobe: Nothing to wear. There is nowhere to hang it. It would be a pity to throw it away... And there is also a section “Suddenly I’ll lose weight”...
You need to smile so widely that problems stumble over your smile!
An optimist is a person who, even having fallen face first into the mud, is sure that it is healing!
Girls, who wanted to lose weight by spring?.. It’s too late to rush around, let’s take it with charm!
This morning, while I was putting on makeup, I fainted 5 times from my beauty...
Previously, I lived alone and all my things were lying haphazardly in their places, but now I’m married and all my things are neatly and beautifully lying in an unknown place...
I want fate to take me by the hair and head straight into happiness, happiness, happiness.
A woman should be loved, happy, beautiful! And she doesn’t owe anyone anything anymore!!!
The smartest plant is the horseradish: it knows everything...
Now I live only by this principle: whoever wants it will come, whoever needs it will call, whoever is bored will find it! And who cares, those don’t care!
All men are bastards! They all only need one thing! But why, why not from me-me-me?!
I would send you, but I can see you from there!
Women are not interested in wimps only if those wimps are men.
If you think that life is wonderful, then the antidepressants are chosen correctly.
If there are nails on the feet, then there should be hands on the hands, and animals generally have bast shoes!
There is nothing better in the world than creaking your bed until dawn!
Judging by the way life fucks me, I'm sexy as fuck!
The robbers demand your purse or your life, the women demand both.
Never do evil out of spite! Nasty things must come from the heart!
How smarter woman, the more refined and varied she blows her man away!
Any dirty trick can be put to proper use if there is a desire...
Queens are never upset. When they are sad, they simply execute someone...
The weaker sex is stronger than the stronger sex due to the weakness of the stronger sex towards the weaker.
Long live split personality - shortest way to peace of mind!
Our spring is late, our summer is delayed... And autumn, the bastard, is punctual!
I'm a woman - evil is standard equipment for me!
Don't you want to be nice? - Let's remove the Vaseline!
I am a creative woman. I want - I create, I want - I create...
With a teaspoon in my pocket, with a bald cactus in my hand, I’m going to scare the old woman who lives in the attic, I’ll poke him with a spoon, I’ll order him to sit on the cactus... I’m a bit of a fool - I have a certificate!..
Vasilisa was a magician... If she waves her right sleeve - a lake... If she waves her left sleeve - swans... She waves another 200 grams - and the hallucinations are more complicated...
Happiness is when you have a doctor, a cop, a lawyer and a killer among your friends. Immediately life becomes somehow easier...
There are people, like a drug - you know what you can’t do, but you’re drawn to it. And there are people like cake - sweet, tasty, but sick...
I want to be like a bear: to eat in the summer and hibernate in the winter. And I lost weight, and slept well, and didn’t see frost!
Santa Claus, whole year I behaved well...and now can I kill someone???
Caught goldfish. She listened to me very carefully and said: “Fry!”
And they carry me away, and carry me away, into the colored ringing crap, three white horses, two red elephants, a penguin, a hippopotamus and a deer.
What doesn’t kill us, we regret it very much later.
I am the air. Don't try to hold it back. Breathe while I let myself breathe...
My beloved told me: “You are evil in the flesh!” Well, I'll implement it. I'm very obedient. And if for some reason he needs it, then how can I ignore the request!
I’m a very good cook... I can cook noodles... Brew porridge... Add oil... In general, I’m a clever wizard.
"Baby, I love you!" - excellent status! And all the suns are pleasant, and you won’t get burned...
“You need to treat a girl carefully, like a Christmas tree.”
— Knock it out and take it home?
— Strangers make comments to my child! How to react?
— Teach your child the magic spell: “My mother teaches me that not every value judgment should serve as a behavior modifier.” When pronounced with clear diction and confident, benevolent intonation, it acts similarly to the spell: “Petrify!” And more reliably. Although not for long. But without dangerous side effects.
You begin to understand that everything is really bad when the person who usually calms everyone down cries...
As my grandmother used to say, it’s better to shoot, reload and shoot again than to shine a flashlight and ask “who’s there?”
In any situation, say “everything is going according to plan” - you never know what kind of fucking plan you have.
Sometimes it becomes so cool that something that was once so important has become so irrelevant...
And I will leave without noticing any offense.
Chewing a chocolate candy.
And may the evil horse love you,
And not a sunshine like me.
“Darling, is it true that I’m your only one?”
- Have you all come to an agreement today, or what!?
A woman, like fire, should not be left unattended. Either it will go out, or it will burn everything to hell!!!
Alcohol does not help you find the answer, it helps you forget the question...
Darling, you insist so much on our relationship with you... I don’t understand, you have nervous system made of reinforced concrete or lifelong reservation in a madhouse?
Sometimes you think: this is it, happiness! But no, damn it, experience again...
You drown a person, and it seems so sad, but then bubbles appear, so good, and your heart rejoices.
It’s easy to understand women’s logic; just learn how to play billiards with cubes.
You only need to sort things out with those with whom you have these relationships. The rest - why don't they go to the shore of silence, collect shells...
Happiness is when the previous shit has already ended, and the next one has not yet begun.
Cockroaches in the head are still normal. The problem is when the squirrel starts chasing them out...
A black cat crossing your path means that the animal is going somewhere. Don't complicate things!..
You need to return to the woman as quickly as possible. So quickly that she doesn’t have time to understand that she’s fine without you.
If you love it, set it free. If he doesn't come back, track him down and kill him.
There are a lot of other people's nerves in the world - there's no point in worrying about your own!
I bought cockroach chalk! Now it’s quiet and calm in my head... they sit, draw...
You'll send someone rashly. And in your soul you worry: did you get there?... didn’t you get there?...
- Who are you?
— Kind fairy!
- Why with an axe?
- Yes, I’m not in a very good mood...
She got up on the wrong foot, sat on the wrong broom and generally flew in the wrong direction...
Give me wings, otherwise the broom will leave splinters all over my ass!
In general, I love raspberry pies. Of course, they don’t reciprocate, but they don’t behave like bastards either!
— What will you order?
- Please, I need nerves, intelligence, calmness and s*zz... Yes, more szma, please.
Don't be a cheapskate - give the person a second chance. Don't be an idiot - never give a third.
Nerves are in shock, brains are in a trance, and logic has completely gone and shot itself.
If my mother taught me to be cultured, this does not mean that I will not kick you in the eye, as my father taught me!
A realist is someone who doesn't care whether the glass is half full or half empty. For him, what's in the glass is more important.
No matter what the rake teaches, the heart believes in miracles...
It's amazing how much some people enjoy romantic walks along the rake.
If you constantly step on the same rake, then it’s a fucking rake!
Smile more often - and the thicket will smile at you!
Yes, I'm not an angel, but flying on a broom is faster.
Everyone thinks that every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. No matter how it is! Our dream is to eat and not gain weight!
All women are angels, but if you cut their wings, they start flying on a broom.
A man should be able to do two things: set fire to huts and scare horses, so that his woman has something to do and not blow his brains out.
...and yet it is IMPORTANT that the butterflies in the stomach come to an agreement with the cockroaches in the head!
Yesterday, it seemed, I had gained my wits... Today I woke up - but no, I just gained my wits...
I don’t promise to lead you to sin, but I will…
There’s no need to offend me, I’m a vulnerable girl, the first thing brings me to tears... And then, with tear-stained eyes, it’s so difficult to understand who you hit with the shovel...
This morning they showed such horrors in the mirror...
I don't drink flowers or sweets!
- Girl, why haven’t we met yet?
- God will take care of you, stupid creature...
I have no excess weight. I have it as a spare.
Female philologist: vivid multiple sarcasms on the first date.
While men, being boys, play war games and cars, women, being girls, immediately prepare to manipulate people and play with dolls.
It’s better to be a beloved mischief than to be a perfection that no one needs.
Listen to the voice of reason... Do you hear? Do you hear what crap he is talking about?!
For a woman to go to bed with a man, she needs a feeling of closeness, trust and a strong connection. A man's place is mainly...
Squirrels eat snow. What are you doing to make winter end?
People who helped spring and ate snow, why did you also eat asphalt?
A glassblower accidentally sneezed at work and created a new vase for the Ikea store.
If things don’t go the way you want, it’s not your business, let them pass by.
Don't know how to relieve stress? Don't wear it!!!
It is incorrect to say “the toad is strangling.” It should be like this: “amphibiotropic asphyxia happened to me”
Koala macaque dipped in cocoa. The koala lazily lapped cocoa...
Squirrels in gaiters poke around cedar kernels in the depths of the tundra. In the depths of the tundra, otters in gaiters are digging for cedar kernels in buckets! Having torn out the leggings of an otter in the tundra, I wiped the cedar kernels with the otter, wiped the otter's face with the leggings - the kernels into buckets, the otter into the tundra.
Having washed the leggings in the swamp, putting the kernels in buckets, the otters and the squirrels in an embrace quietly finished the jar... While finishing the moonshine, the otters danced a jig, the squirrels tried on the leggings, muttering that they had seen a worse holiday in the tundra.
I speak English with only a dictionary, but I’m still shy with people...
When sliding under the table, do not forget to politely say goodbye to your guests.
There is a genius sleeping within each of us. And every day it gets stronger and stronger...
I don’t know what you’re taking for your head, but it’s clearly not helping you!
Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt…
A beautiful woman pleases the male gaze, an ugly woman pleases the female gaze!
There are no perpetual motion machines in the world, but there are plenty of perpetual brakes!
Take care of your Motherland! Vacation abroad!
I am constantly haunted by smart thoughts, but I find myself faster...
Everyone is spoiled to the best of their ability.
If a gentleman says to a lady, “I understand you perfectly,” he means, “You talk twice as much as you need to”!
If you leave your husband correctly, he will definitely return... like a boomerang.
If you want to bring a person to sclerosis, give him a loan.
Looking at how some accumulate good, others begin to accumulate evil.
There are so many interesting things in this life and so few people are interested.
If you want to marry a smart, beautiful and rich woman, marry three times.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
If you cannot be a star in the sky, at least become a lamp in the house.
A man, even if he could understand what a woman was thinking, would still not believe it.
The best way to organize a panic is to ask everyone to remain calm.
Everyone wants to have a good time, but you won't have one.
Tell me I'm wrong and I'll tell you who you are.
What a pity that you are finally leaving!..
Lost conscience. I ask the finder not to worry and keep it for himself.

Every boss loves punctual subordinates in the morning and for some reason hates them in the evening.

All normal people they are looking for love, their place in life, and I’m the fucking second sock...

Do you have nothing against it or are you against it because you have nothing?

Imagine a World without Men. Not a single crime. No drugs. And a lot of happy, fat, and not wearing makeup women.

Baby, I love you! - excellent status! And all the suns are pleasant, and you don’t get scorched.

I wrote my resume, re-read it and burst into tears... What a wonderful person I am!

Don't glue me... I'm not wallpaper...

Some people use money they don't have to buy things they don't need in order to please people they can't stand.

It’s not hard to guess that after “yay, spring” there will come “hello, summer”, then “uh-huh, autumn” and “badass, winter again”

No words, no emotions. Just thoughts, and those are swearing

The first step on the path to work has been taken - I left my classmates!

There may not be a status in life, but on the Internet it must be!

According to statistics, there are ten million fewer men on earth than women - women, maybe someone has an extra man lying around, please share.

I want it to look like spring, but I still want to feel like winter.

A sneaky forester, swatting away mosquitoes, cut down 40 hectares of forest with an ax.

A slap on the head is the most common way in our country of transmitting information from generation to generation.

I am selling the book “How to Make a Million.” Price 1 million.

Woke up in the morning and don’t know which foot to get up on? Send "FOOT" to 4242

For five years I was in the status of a bride, for twenty years in the status of a wife, and now I want to be in the status of a mistress until they issue a pension certificate according to the status

Previously, women in labor wait for their husbands as soon as they give birth, they watch the telephone at the post, write notes and send them down through the window. And now, as soon as they give birth, they immediately write to their classmates!

Robin Hood took money from bad people and gave it to the good ones. True, at first it was enough only for myself.

Stars fall from the sky... and turn out to be cigarette butts from the top floor.

Any pawn can become a queen or a horse, it all depends on the makeup

Don’t forget that position comes from the word “duty,” work comes from the word “slave,” and dismissal comes from the word “will.”

Girls, shooting with your eyes, do not leave the wounded - FINISH THEM!

92% telephone conversations- empty chatter, reports the sociological service of the FSB.

Children in kindergarten. - “The stork brought me.” - “And they downloaded me from the Internet.” - “And our family is not rich. Dad does everything himself.”

You have to live your life so that in hell they say: “Sorry, but we have decent people here.”

Why am I? I'm nothing. Others are like, and nothing, but I’m a little like, and immediately here’s what.

Today I struggled with stupidity. And stupidity won.

I don’t know about you, but my nerve cells are not only being restored, but they are also trying to take revenge on those responsible for their death.

How unbearably difficult it is early in the morning to look for a thread from a tea bag in a mug, especially if you brewed coffee for yourself.

Someone wrote: “People help spring, eat snow!!!” - indeed, maybe we’ll finish it by July =P

Luke, I am your father! -Mom, don’t touch my pills anymore.

It turns out that the expression: “A man said, a man did” correctly sounds like this: “A man said. The woman reminded. The woman reminded. The woman reminded. The woman is fed up. The guy swore and did it.”

Quotes with humor

“Sorry, I won’t be able to come to your imaginary wedding.” I have a lot of plans for this day... A unicorn christening and lunch with a leprechaun.

A real man will never raise his hand to a woman, because a real man’s hand is not raised at all.

I don't want to look for a job. She's not looking for me. In the end, you need to have at least a drop of pride.

It’s good where I’m not... But it’s okay, I’ll get there too!

Only the military registration and enlistment office can accept a man as he is.

She silently took his hand... “Loves,” he thought. “Ice,” she thought.

My cat doesn’t mind me resting on the crib, but only if I occupy a smaller part of the shared bed.

Having explained the meaning of the joke to your interlocutor, you yourself cease to understand why you laughed at it.

As before, the best contraceptive is the word “No”.

Our team is good, people are bad!

Outstanding representatives of humanity, in order to express their opinion with their help and give it greater weight. And it doesn’t matter whether the author’s name is known or whether the aphorism belongs to folk wisdom. They are particularly successful because they help not only to express your attitude towards something, but also to show off your sense of humor.

Men about women

With the advent social networks started on the Internet real battle floors Women are looking for interesting statuses to show their attitude towards the universe and men in particular. And the stronger sex uses funny statements as a weapon to resist this.

Women's funny sayings

The better half of humanity is also great at manipulating aphorisms. With their help, women can both laugh at themselves and point out to men their mistakes.

Real men don't shy away - they doubt.
When eagles are silent, parrots chatter.
It is easy to say “I will die for you” when there is no need for such a sacrifice.
Women never lie! It’s just that at first they have a girlish memory, and then sclerosis.
With a good wife, a man can become a man.
Funny sayings about blondes are written by scary brunettes on lonely evenings.
If fate hits you in the forehead, then the kick in the ass didn’t work.
It's better to be a young grandmother than an old girl.
The truth should be presented carefully, like a dish of original cuisine, and not dumped out like fresh fish on Privoz.
Women's friendship is only a suspension of hostilities.
It’s not a big deal that there’s wind in your head, but the ideas are always fresh.
Some men resemble clouds when they go to become lighter.
My preferences are simple - I am satisfied with the best.
The only medicine that brings a woman more benefits There's no harm in it - a new dress.

Funny aphorisms and statements on general topics

Pearls of the mighty of this world

It happens that the absurd funny saying, once escaping from the lips of a politician, is remembered more than all his activities.

We have enough people who, as they say, are not on friendly terms with their heads.
As they say, touch with your own eyes and see with your own hands.
I approached people from your Cabinet of Ministers and asked what their specialty was. It turned out that somewhere a gynecologist works, somewhere a plumber works. (V. Yanukovych).

Condoleezza Rice is the same ordinary girl from Texas, like me.
As a child, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but I had to study a lot, so I became president.
Only we, the great American people, could send a lunar rover to Mars! (George W. Bush).