Lesson outline on the topic: Lesson of a teacher-psychologist “Make peace, make peace, make peace and don’t fight anymore!” Tradition of reconciliation with little fingers

It is not those who do not know how to swear that live happily and long, but those who know how to make peace.

Remember yourself as a child...

When the trees were huge, when mother's smell was the most fragrant in the world, when tears had the ability to evaporate from one mother's kiss, when making peace with friends was so easy...

You just had to grab each other’s little fingers and be sure to cast the well-known spell. This:

Make up, make up and don't fight anymore.

And if you fight , then I will bite .

And there’s nothing to do with biting , I'll fight with a brick .

And the brick will break , friendship begins

And even if before this, the resentment was simply bursting at you, and tears flowed in a stream, this ritual instantly produced a magical effect: the tears dried up, the resentment evaporated, and a smile of reconciliation appeared on the faces.

With this small ritual we dedicated ourselves to being “friends”. After that, it was impossible to sulk, take offense, just like offend. Real friends don't do that.

Still children's concept decency and honor always amazes me. There was no need for papers signed by lawyers, there was enough of an oath spoken together and a shake of just the little fingers.

Yes, childhood is golden... Everything was resolved so simply.

So where did this tradition of pinky reconciliation come from, and why does it have such an impact on people?

According to experts, the heart meridian passes through the little finger. Therefore, an oath that is taken in this way is given with all the heart.

Now the tradition of tying the little fingers of those getting married with a red ribbon becomes clear. Two hearts together for life.

Astrologers claim that the little finger is under the auspices of Mercury, the planet of trade and business.

Therefore, in ancient times, this particular gesture was like a seal on an agreement between traders. They swore an oath to fulfill the agreement concluded between them in exactly this way - by clasping their little fingers. And such an oath could not be broken under any circumstances.

If this promise was broken, then no one else wanted to deal with the merchant. They said that such a merchant was not worth even a little finger of honor.

Time passes, we are getting old, we are already watching how our grandchildren make peace with the help of this time-tested method.

And the question arises... why previously, in order to comply with something, it was necessary to simply give a word, uttered simply by looking directly into each other’s eyes. And as we get older, we try to protect ourselves with a bunch of pieces of paper…. Yes, just in case.

Either the promises have become cheap, or there is something wrong with us.

And why then do we remember with nostalgia our serious childhood oath:

Finger by finger
Let's take it firmly
We used to fight
And now for nothing.

In life, sometimes it happens that you feel guilty, but something prevents you from approaching a person and asking for forgiveness. Probably our pride, which we have grown over the years of our lives.

Then you can try to extend your little finger to the person for reconciliation...

Do not be afraid, the memory of childhood is the strongest and fairest. This man probably also put up with his little finger in this way as a child.

This does not mean that his offense will immediately go away, but believe me, this gesture will help soften this offense, make it not so sharp and piercing. And if he extends his little finger to you, you are lucky; childhood has become your helper and peacemaker.

I would like to say one such wonderful Leopoldian banality: let's live together, guys.

I am always glad to see you on the pages of the site

Communicative traditions of children's subculture:

“At primary school age, the problem of self-actualization is the problem of in what image and in what actions one can most safely and effectively show oneself to people as an active participant in social situations.

The weakest and most vulnerable aspects of a child’s personality during this period are his communicative inexperience, shyness, inability to simultaneously take into account several situational factors, insufficient mental regulation, which does not allow two processes to be carried out in parallel - to cope with one’s emotions and to rationally calculate one’s actions and words.

The main feature of the children's traditional approach is to transfer the communicative discoveries accumulated during the era of independent mastery of the principles of group play with rules (five to seven years old) to everyday communication situations at primary school age. The children's subculture identifies a certain set of “difficult” but regularly reproducing communicative situations, for which it develops stable, stereotypical strategies for “correct” behavior, provided with corresponding verbal clichés. It is assumed that these strategies are known to all members of the children's community - representatives of the children's subculture. For example, if, having quarreled over trifles, you want to make peace with a friend, then you need to go up to him in front of a third witness, cling to the enemy with your little fingers and, shaking your joined hands, sing:

Make up, make up, make up

And don't fight anymore!

And if you fight,

Then I will bite.

And we can't bite

Because we are friends!

With the edge of the palm, the witness must “break” the grip of the little fingers, and from that moment it is believed that peace has reigned.

Thus, problematic situations children's relationships are ritualized, they are given a semi-game status of situations resolved according to generally accepted rules. This allows each participant not to waste energy on an individual search for solutions to typical communication problems, but to use traditional strategies and verbal formulas that you just need to know. Therefore, younger children school age Usually they are focused on observing and remembering traditional methods of behavior in “difficult” situations, which is considered absolutely effective until the age of nine or ten.

The described approach is fundamental for the children's subculture and is implemented in various forms. Its essence is that a psychologically immature and socially inexperienced person is invited to use commonly used methods of fulfilling his socio-psychological needs, relying on the proposed “cultural crutches” until the person finds the strength to individually creatively solve the problems facing him. tasks, which usually happens as we approach adolescence. But this age (twelve to thirteen years old) also marks the decline of the children’s subculture, which has already fulfilled its functions.

The next feature of the children's tradition, which follows from the previous one, is that in situations where the child is afraid to act “on his own,” he is invited to take a semi-playful communicative role and hide behind generally accepted children's verbal clichés.

For example, when a child sees that a friend is eating something tasty, a lot of it, and wants to share it with him, then openly asking for a piece can be shameful and awkward. It is much easier to say the well-known verbal formula, which is less obligatory and allows you to cover yourself with it like a shield: “forty-eight - we ask for half!” (Let us pay attention to the plural form of the verb: it is not I who ask, but “we” who ask, because usually “everyone says so.”) If the partner does not want to share, then he can also hide behind the generally accepted formula of refusal, which somewhat removes personal responsibility: “Forty-one - I’m eating alone!” or “Forty-one - I’m not a store!”

“Am I a trembling creature or do I have the right?” - this theme, youthfully stated by Raskolnikov in “Crime and Punishment” by F. Dostoevsky, is extremely interestingly presented in the children's subculture. The child begins to explore, realize and defend his individual rights only in adolescence. However, until this time, children's tradition certainly gives him rights social person as a representative children's world, where everyone has the right to rely on the same norms and rules of behavior for everyone, and also to access resources common to everyone. In general, we can say that in its spirit the children's subculture is based on communal principles and conventional morality and is not inclined to support individualistic, much less extreme, behavior.

At the same time, in the children's subculture there are many mechanisms by which the children's community allows each participant in various forms to experience their personal significance, existential representation and influence in social space groups. This affirmation of the value of each member of the community is realized in the phenomenon of interchangeable leadership, characteristic of children's tradition.

In its simplest forms, this can be observed in round dancing games for preschoolers such as “Loaf, loaf, choose whoever you want!”, where everyone takes turns going to the center of the circle. Everyone pays attention to him, they sing about him, they praise him and give him the right to make a choice, as a result of which the next participant is in the center of events.

In the traditions of children seven to twelve years old, situations where one is in charge actor, while others watch him or listen to him, then change roles with him, and are encountered in great variety. This is exactly what happens during group storytelling. scary stories, when everyone is presented with the floor and revels in his situational power over the emotions of the listeners.

Telephone pranks are usually based on the principle of interchangeable leadership, when a group takes turns inspiring one person to pick up the phone, call a random number and say to the person on the other end of the line: “Is this a zoo? No? Why do I hear the monkey’s voice?” or something similar.

This principle always underlies any test of courage, when the whole company watches one who has decided before their eyes to commit a difficult and dangerous action, on which his recognition and status in the group will depend...

Make peace, make peace
Don't fight anymore.
If you fight
I will bite.
And biting has nothing to do with it,
We'll fight with bricks.
We don't need a brick
Let's make friends with you!

Make peace, make peace
Don't fight anymore.
If you fight
I will bite.
And biting has nothing to do with it,
We'll fight with bricks.
And the brick breaks,
Friendship begins!

Make peace, make peace
Don't fight anymore.
If you fight
I will bite.
And we can't bite
Because we are friends.

Don't fight, don't fight
Come on, make up quickly!

Finger by finger
Let's take it firmly
We used to fight
And now for nothing.

Make peace, make peace
Don't fight anymore
And then grandma will come,
It will hurt your ears.

Let's put up with you
And share everything.
And who will not put up,
Let's not deal with that.

Make peace, make peace
Don't fight anymore.
If you fight
I will bite.
Mom will come
It'll hit both of us.

Finger by finger

Mirilka Finger by finger
Finger by finger
Let's take it firmly
We used to fight
And now for nothing.

Don't fight, don't fight

Mirilka Don't fight, don't fight
Don't fight, don't fight
Come on, make up quickly!

Make up, make up

Mirilka Make up, make up
Make peace, make peace
Don't fight anymore.
If you fight
I will bite.
And biting has nothing to do with it,
We'll fight with bricks.
We don't need a brick
Let's make friends with you!

Peace in peace

Peace in peace,
dumplings with cheese,
pies with butter,
and we are friends forever!

A hedgehog walks in the forest

A hedgehog walks in the forest -
Red mullet on the nose!
The hedgehog waves his hand at her,
And she sings and dances!
If you want, we are with you
Tomorrow too let's go to the forest
And such a red mullet
We'll definitely find it!

Why swear and tease?
It's better for us to put up with you!
Let's smile together
Songs to sing and dance,
Swim in the lake in summer
And pick strawberries
Ice skating in winter
Make babies, play snowballs,
Divide the candy between two people
All the problems and secrets.
It's very boring to live in a quarrel,
So let's be friends!

After a quarrel

How good is that! -
Don't rush anywhere
Don't be silent and don't get angry -
So just next to mom,
To go next to my mother,
See the sun in the sky
And - carry it home!

To make the sun smile
Tried to warm you and me,
You just need to become kinder
And let us make peace soon!

We've had enough of being angry already.
Everyone around is having fun!
Let's make peace quickly:
-You are my friend!
-And you are my friend!
We will forget all the insults
And we will be friends as before!

And if you fight, I will bite. But there’s nothing to do with biting, I’ll fight with a brick. And the brick breaks, friendship begins

(children's) - about ending a quarrel, resentment.

• - The further you go into the forest, the more firewood there is. Wed. Their only business was lying... but... the further into the forest, the more firewood. Every day the talent for lying became in them... in undoubtedly greater proportions...

  Michelson Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary (orig. orf.)

• - From French: Plus ca change, plus with "est la aunt chose." Author of the expression - French writer and journalist Alphonse Jean Carr...
• - Words of the German poet Heinrich Heine...

  Dictionary winged words and expressions

• - See MIRACLE - WONDER -...
• - the more my hands shake, the more I spill and, therefore, the less I drink. Thus, the more I drink, the less I drink. This is a kind of logic to justify addiction to alcohol...

  Dictionary of folk phraseology

• - Wed. Their only business was lying... but... the further into the forest, the more firewood. Every day the talent for lying became in them... in undoubtedly greater proportions. Ch. Uspensky. New times. Three letters. 2...

  Mikhelson Explanatory and Phraseological Dictionary

• - See QUARREL - ABUSE -...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - On a rainy day, don’t make peace, don’t make up - there will be a quarrel...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - By the way, scold, by the way, make up! See PEACE - QUARREL -...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - Don’t compete with the rich, don’t fight with the strong...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - See MIDNESS -...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - See PEACE - QUARREL -...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - Cm....

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - See QUARREL - ABUSE -...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - See QUARREL - ABUSE -...

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

• - Cm....

  IN AND. Dahl. Proverbs of the Russian people

"Make peace, make peace, make peace and don't fight anymore" in books

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