Hello! Help me deal with this situation: Almost three years ago, on vacation in Crimea, I really liked a young man. We didn't even meet, I just admired him last days rest, exchanged a few phrases and glances. I don’t know anything about him and I would never imagine that I would remember him at all. A lot has happened over the years, there have been other loves, but he is always in my thoughts. I think about where he is, what he’s doing now, what his mood is, whether we’ll meet again. These thoughts are very intrusive, I cannot get rid of them. And it’s not clear why, because nothing happened between us. It feels like my love only intensifies over time, although I don’t see him, don’t hear him and have no idea where he is or how to find him. He is always with me, like a ghost, despite the fact that I have interesting life and otherwise I am an adequate person.

Why can't I forget him? Will he somehow figure in my life (in reality, not in my thoughts)? I will be very grateful for your answers.

Pheromones are translated from ancient Greek as “bringing excitement.” For a long time it was believed that this term refers only to the field of zoology. However, it turned out that people also emit chemosignals of a similar nature.

Biological markers in nature

Scientists had long suspected that biochemical signals existed, but it was only in 1961 that Adolf Butenandt, who specialized in the chemistry of hormones, isolated a sexual attractant, bombycol, from the glands of a female silkworm. It was also discovered that a characteristic behavioral reaction in male silkworms occurs even at extremely low concentrations of this substance, within 3,000 molecules per 1 ml of air.

Actually, this explains the incredible complexity of identifying pheromones, but with the active introduction of chromatographic methods of gas analysis, productivity has increased sharply scientific research in this area.

What are the types of chemosignals?

Further research showed that there are mainly two types of pheromones - releasers and primers. Releasers are unique biological markers that are used by females, for example, exclusively to attract mating partners.

As for primers, they are of a more complex nature. In particular, honey bees have fifteen known glands that produce complex combinations of substances. By the way, the queen bee emits the so-called mandibular royal pheromone, which contains carboxylic acids and aromatic compounds. These chemosignals are suppressed puberty other female bees and even directs them to work. “In addition, there are other pheromones in nature that mark the path, for example in ants,” explains biologist Mike Segal, “or activate an alarm signal. In fact, this special language biochemical communication that allows insects to live in complex colonies."

Human pheromone

For a long time it was believed that only animals secrete pheromones, and they have no use for humans. If only because the necessary communications are provided by communication. However, on November 18, 1986, The Washington Post published a sensation: “Philadelphia scientists have discovered for the first time that the human body produces pheromones, special aromatic chemical compounds that affect the sexual physiology of another person.”

The very next day, the American national newspaper USA Today published an article “The Present Chemical Revolution Between the Sexes,” in which Dr. Winnifred B. Cutler, answering a reporter’s question, said the following: “The odors of men are of great importance for the health of women. I recommended that women with unusually long or short menstrual cycles go to the men's locker room and smell the smell." According to the scientist, after just three months, stabilization of the average static cycle was observed at 29.5 days. The fact is that the axillary male glands secrete at least one pheromone that affects the reproductive health of women.

"Scent of a Woman"

Scientists soon found that female pheromones influence the behavior of men with a more pronounced effect. It was assumed that the so-called fluids are of a biochemical nature.

It turns out the woman is in a strong emotional state, called love, is capable of sending unusually powerful chemical signals to the man she likes and at the same time suppressing the desire of other competing girlfriends.

“Human pheromones attract sexual partners just as they do in the animal kingdom,” says Dr. Winnifred B. Cutler, “these chemosignals are very effective in relationships between the sexes. At the same time, new research shows that women also suffer from the pheromones of other men and women who are negative towards them.”

In addition, thanks to pheromones, you can even intuitively imagine what your partner looks like. It is believed that it was not without the influence of these publications that the film “Scent of a Woman” directed by Martin Brest was released in 1992.

Pheromones in perfumery

Pheromones are identified by the vomeronasal organ located in the nose, sometimes called the Jacobs organ. Next, the resulting chemical signal is processed by the brain, which determines the person’s behavioral response. This or something like this is how articles devoted to these substances in perfumery begin.

“By purchasing perfume with pheromones, you can change your life in a matter of hours,” assures Yolanda Petersen from Washington, “I once perfumed my wrists with them and instantly felt the keen interest of men in my person.” In reality, the so-called “sexy” perfumes do not contain human pheromones, but androstenones obtained from pig glands are present in abundance.

Moreover, research shows that human pheromones are detected by a partner at a distance of no more than one meter and “live” for about five hours, in rare cases - a day. That is why professional biologists treat such perfumes with a certain degree of skepticism, but to combat pests in agriculture they successfully use biological sex markers of insects, if only because they have simpler formulas.

Greetings, my dear readers! Have you ever wondered what is the main principle by which you choose a person for a relationship? It's just a hobby strong feelings or a subconscious search for the image of a mother/father? Today I propose to talk about why one is drawn to to a certain person. Is it worth giving in to this feeling or should you think about it so as not to destroy your existing happiness?

New emotions

What is attraction to a person? The desire to constantly be near, to hear a voice, to smell, a feeling of impossibility without him. Such feelings can be either momentary and quickly passing, or long-lasting, lasting several years.

Sometimes you just meet a stranger and all your thoughts are only about him. He seems so mysterious and interesting. Communication is filled with flirting and play. You immerse yourself in it completely and completely, and there is no other world. All the past is left behind.

Something new and unknown always attracts a person. Especially against the backdrop of everyday life and dullness. So, one of my clients, being already for a long time married, met a man at a party. They just talked, but he left a certain mark on her soul.

She described how wonderful he was, how very different he was from her husband, that he was completely different and she couldn’t live without him. As a result, she left her husband, and after some time the new gentleman turned out to be the same ordinary and worthless comrade.

A person is drawn to mystery, to the unknown. But upon closer examination, everything seems different, not so fabulous and beautiful. Everything new captivates and pulls you along. And it’s very cool when something strong and eternal is born from this situation. I have a huge number of examples when a new and bright feeling appeared in a person’s life, developing into strong love for many years.

And sometimes you just like a person, have a good and fun time with him, don’t think about anything, and then you realize that you are very much attracted to him. You can no longer imagine your evening without a text message or a call; every moment you want to know what a person is doing.

If you can’t sort out your feelings, are unsure about something or have doubts, then I have an excellent article in store for you that will help you figure it out in just a few minutes: “”.

Drawn to the past

But we are drawn not only to something new and unknown. It happens that you just can’t get the image out of your head. ex-lover. The relationship could have ended several years ago, but you still continue to be drawn to the person.

When the relationship was long-term, this turn of events is not surprising. You just have a lot in common, you have given each other so much that it seems impossible to live without him. You constantly communicated, had mutual friends and acquaintances, you had a common life, common plans. This is what haunts me even after several years.

A person can cling to the past because he does not see his future. Or afraid of the unknown. Doesn’t believe that she can trust another person, it seems that new good relations can't be built anymore. Therefore, he clings tightly to the past and this notorious attraction appears.

If this is exactly the case for you and you still can’t break with your past, then read the article “”. Even if you are not attracted to your first love, the article will help you sort out your feelings for the past and you will definitely find the answer to the question - how to forget a person and move on?

What to do about it

If you free man, then calmly surrender to it wonderful feeling. Passion and love make a person inspired and inspired. It's a wonderful and liberating feeling. You should enjoy every moment and just be happy. Understand that life is too short to deny yourself feelings and emotions.

What if I don’t like you, but I’m attracted to you? Again, if you are free, then let yourself enjoy your health. Sex, for example, is very good for health. And good sex, in general, can even cure headaches.

Another question is if you are not free, you already have a relationship, but are drawn to a completely different person. It's worth stopping and thinking seriously here. Because a rash and quick decision can greatly change both your life and those of others.

Try to understand what this new attraction means. Maybe you are looking for something new and invigorating? If this is the case, then stop and think about how you can achieve similar emotions with your loved one.

If this is not the first time this has happened to you, and you often pay attention to other people while in a relationship, then you should think about why you are in a relationship at all. Understand what you are missing, what you are clinging to, what you are running away to. Maybe both you and your partner are struggling in your relationship, but are afraid to admit it to each other? After all, in happy couple There is no such thing as a third wheel.

If you want to build healthy and happy relationship, then Dean Delis’ book “ The paradox of passion" It covers the issue of relationships, faded passion and reciprocity in a rather extraordinary way. The author looks at many questions from a new angle, which will undoubtedly give you a lot of food for thought.

Where do you think this attraction comes from and why towards certain people? Is it more like love or a slight crush? Or maybe it's just passion?

Enjoy life and be happy!

The body as a phenomenon. Conversation with a therapist Yuri Iosifovich Chernyakov

Why are two people attracted to each other?

“...And it was the first day. Mendelssohn sounded, and the guests shouted: “Bitter!”, joyfully emptying the wedding table. And it was night. Exciting, if not with the first intimacy, then at least with the first acquired legal permission..."

How many times have we managed

Having burned off, burn again,

How many times have they completely broken

Our old bed! -

the great sang enthusiastically to his Jeannette French poet and the cheeky Pierre-Jean Bérenger. Alas, he did not even suspect how often inconsistency between male and female sexual desires occurs. Meanwhile, among 30–40-year-old spouses, more than two-thirds of men, but... less than a third of women, express a desire for more intense sexual activity. And this is against the backdrop of the fact that the level of sexual desires in a mature woman is often higher than in her youth.

Sexual harmony and satisfaction - the most important conditions prosperous and stable marriage. Sexologists who study the psychology of marriage and sociologists who puzzle over the increasing number of divorces agree on this. And we, sinners, ignorant of their knowledge, also agree that we do not seek good from good. So Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy was right when he began “Anna Karenina” with the words: “All happy families are happy equally,” if we keep in mind that among the surveyed couples who were satisfied with their marriage, almost all of them turned out to be sexually compatible.

By testing the harmony of love with the algebra of rigorous scientific research, it was possible to find out that close bodily contact even promotes (what would you think?) the synchronization of certain physiological processes in spouses. For example, body temperature, heart rate and, most interestingly, hormonal cycles. Thus, the peak level of the male sex hormone - testosterone - in the husband’s blood coincides with its increase in the wife at the corresponding point in the menstrual cycle, and this leads to a coincidence of their erotic desires. And some male substances, in particular axillary secretions, have proven to be very effective in activating a woman’s menstrual cycle, contributing in some cases to its normalization.

There is, however, nothing mystical in such interpenetration of a loving couple (truly “the flesh is one”). Many sexual partners - polygamy, of course, diversifies sex life humanity, but, you see, it does little to help the full education of the younger generation. It is not without reason that in birds whose responsibilities for raising chicks are divided equally between mother and father, monogamy, that is, stable marital ties, at least during the feeding of one brood, is observed in 90 percent. And not the windy cuckoo that throws its eggs into other people’s nests, but the swan pair has become for people since ancient times a symbol of faithful and tender love to the gravestone.

“...And there was the last day. There was no music and the guests weren’t having fun, but just a sad official asked to sign in the office book and put a stamp in the passport: that the marriage should be considered invalid... - and issued a government document.”

Why is this being done, good people? Why didn't the song work out? Didn't harmony in relationships emerge from it? After all, this is how it all started well!.. Yes, because you and I are not birds of God, for whom behavioral instinct decides everything, but reasonable people, endowed with free will and desires.

People are all different! Of the 80 billion people who have lived on Earth (as those same meticulous French calculated), not two are exactly alike. With the possible exception of identical twins, and even those, being separated at the very early childhood, subsequently dissimilar characters. Nature has provided us only with psychophysiological mechanisms, creating the prerequisites for harmonious, happy development. And we use this gift according to our own understanding - some for our own benefit, and some for our own detriment. And learning to be happy is as urgent a necessity as learning to walk upright, and not on all fours and not walk under oneself.

Why are most people right-handed? It is strange that the chapter on the brain discusses the hands, but it is the brain that determines the dominant hand. Left-hand side body is controlled by the right hemisphere, and Right side bodies - left. In right-handed people, the dominant side in this area is the left

Why do some people have perfect pitch? The sense of hearing - oh-oh-very interesting topic! Although experts cannot yet agree on what is meant by absolute pitch, in general it refers to the unusual ability to distinguish and reproduce

Why do some people have no hearing at all? This property is in many ways opposite to the presence absolute pitch and is also transmitted hereditarily from generation to generation. It is not known why it manifests itself at all, unless, of course, one takes into account the fact that a person with the absence