How to make an important choice. How to understand that you have made the right choice

Have you ever received a gift for which you thanked through gritted teeth, and after some time you realized how lucky you were with this thing? Often we do not immediately assess the significance of events in our lives correctly. How to learn to accept right decisions, giving our time and attention to something that truly deserves it because of its ability to make us happy? Many things can look tempting, and it is not so easy to figure out which ones to focus on now and which ones to put off - perhaps until the next life. You can't be two at the same time different people, like being in two different places.

Perspective

The most important thing here is the ability to see things in perspective. The role of momentary sensations is also important; sometimes we set them as our goal. However, more often than not, something else turns out to be more important - what happens to us after. After we talked to this person. Ate this food. We watched the film. They did something. The meaning and influence of various events on us only becomes apparent over time.

Do you know the popular consolation - “Think, will you remember this in 5 years?” The secondary immediately fades into the background, but the main thing remains in sight. But sometimes we are so absorbed in what is happening to us that we forget to answer this question.

Regarding perspective, it is worth remembering its two dimensions: depth and finitude.

Depth

What does this mean on a life-wide scale? Yes, our life is not one day, but each individual day, one way or another, reflects it entirely. Do you want it to be like this? all your life? Would you choose this for your whole life? How will this affect your future fate, after all, you will continue to live with this choice? Answering these questions when making a decision will show you care about yourself.

Limb

And this is a common method of thinking about death, remembering limited time human life. Shared his experience of using it Steve Jobs in his famous speech to Stanford graduates.

Our existence is not an infinite number of days. We rarely think about this because it is not easy to understand and accept the fact of our mortality. That the day will come when we will be gone. And the sun will continue to rise in the morning, the birds will continue to sing, but for someone else. Yes, it’s not easy to even think about it, let alone fully experience it! However, it is quite effective. After all it is the limitations of something that make it so valuable. In this case, it is our time. And, fully aware of this, we will do right choice much more often in life.

Observation

The next point is probably already familiar to you. Listen to yourself. This is a skill that can and should be developed in oneself. For some, this can be very difficult, because to observe you need to freeze for a while. Then you will be able to realize how something affects you. Knowing whether something specific is beneficial or harmful to you is very valuable.

Everyone has their own gradation of sensations that cause certain phenomena: “bad”, “normal”, “good”, “yes, this is just my heaven on earth”! In addition to assessing the pleasantness of experiences, there is another side. How does this affect us? Who do we turn into as a result?

There are things that are incredibly tempting, but we can easily see that contact with them pulls us down.

And if we don’t see it, then those around us will tell us about it. Therefore, when making a choice, it is important to distinguish what level of pleasure you are experiencing - elation and enthusiasm or pure pleasure, in which there is even something animalistic.

Learn to see

Sometimes things turn out differently. Something puzzles us at first: " Why do I need this?", - and only then, having recognized and appreciated, we find ourselves filled with gratitude. Moreover, it does not have to be some kind of misfortune, which then suddenly unexpectedly turns into happiness. No, rather something, at first glance, insignificant and defiant in its the appearance of some irritation in our lives.

Usually it becomes clear quite quickly what's what. After all, it doesn’t take much time for a wolf to shed his sheep’s clothing, if that’s what he is. It’s the same with positive events that happen unexpectedly. Unless we ourselves prevent them from revealing themselves to us in all their beauty by complaining about their unfulfilled hopes. We thought this was good for us, but we got something else, perhaps even better, but we don’t want to admit it, because first we need to figure out why our (albeit more modest) desires were ignored.

Sometimes we are too caught up in protecting our importance to accept that we are actually much luckier than we bargained for. But when this finally happens, our heart is filled with joy and our soul with gratitude. Appreciate unplanned events like these.Things that suddenly came and made you happy. This will help you better recognize situations leading to them in the future and make the right choices in life.

Knowing yourself

What other skills are useful when you need to make a choice about what to give your attention and time to? First of all, it is knowing yourself. It is knowledge, because we talked about knowledge above - what brings you satisfaction, joy, etc. Cognition is open process. It means you know something, but you never say it. You are always ready to try new ideas about yourself.

After all, our tastes and preferences change over time, and you may discover traits and predispositions in yourself that you had not noticed before. Until some events, for example, pull them out of your depths to the surface. You may suddenly realize what you would like to do, what you would like to realize yourself in. Such knowledge, even at the dream level, is already a great happiness if the knowledge is genuine. When you know, and learn anew every day, who you are, it will be easy for you to make the right choices in your life, no matter what it is about.

Flexibility

To make the right choice, it is important to be able to calmly accept losses. You can't cook scrambled eggs without breaking eggs! To make a profit, you must first invest something. To hear a “yes,” you must have the strength to go through a certain number of “nos.” Losses are inevitable.

By accepting this and not considering it "in vain", we become truly flexible and capable of making the right choices in the most incredible circumstances of life.

Respect for what's important

The essence of being able to make good choices comes down to understanding what is important to you in life and respecting it. Pay attention to the issue of your own values. Not “for show” or to be moral - you personally need this. In order to live your life in such a way that you don’t feel sorry for parting with it or exchanging it, when the time comes, for the next one. Even if it’s good, even if it’s better, but different. Because this is your life lived.

You always make the right choice yourself. Advice, opinions, views of others can help. But not because they will do it for you - it’s easier to make choices in life if you know what options are available.

The only right choice that I would like to make a priori for you is self-respect. It's hard to live when you don't respect yourself. It’s difficult to build relationships with people when you can’t treat them with respect—and how can you do otherwise when you don’t respect yourself. It's hard to believe in someone good attitude to yourself.

Therefore, if you don’t know where to start when doing any important choice, start with this: respect yourself.

And this means respecting those things that are important to you. Take the time you need to figure this out, you have the right to do so. And while you do this, others will wait without any questions.

Every day a person needs to make a decision. Some are easy: choose a white or blue shirt, skirt or trousers. Simple solutions are selected “automatically” depending on the mood and situation.

A completely different picture emerges when the question arises of how to make the right choice between two men, changing jobs or. A person is tormented by doubts, indecision and the possibility of making a mistake.

How to choose between two men?

The most unpredictable thing in the world is the relationship between a man and a woman. Sometimes events unfold in such a way that the question arises: how to make a choice between two men? Circumstances happen, and you can’t blame your significant other for this.

Most often the choice is between love and practicality. A girl loves a guy, wants to live with him all her life and have children, but he does not propose for 2-3 years. On the way, he meets a young man who idolizes and is ready to go to the registry office even tomorrow. Whom to choose? The man you know and love or young man, who has dreams similar to your goals in life.

You meet a guy, you love him immensely, but he methodically mocks you and spits on a good attitude. At this moment, another appears, so caring, gentle, ready to care and cherish. Which relationship should you choose: marry someone who is loving and gallant or hope for the best?

There are many similar stories and making the right choice is often “like torture.” After all, feelings are feelings and they cannot be controlled, just as you cannot stop breathing.

Stop calling and answering messages. A week will be enough to determine what choice to make in a relationship.

If only the choice between 2 men will save the situation, then you should make an informed decision, the mistakes of which you will not regret. Appreciate all the positive and negative qualities partners with an eye to a serious relationship.

Does a man want to have a family and children, or does he have plans for a bachelor’s life?
What can one partner give materially and spiritually and what is missing for future happiness?
To what extent can disadvantages be changed so that they turn into advantages?

If a guy doesn’t have experience in bed, then it’s fixable. Such experience certainly comes with time. If a young man is too tongue-tied and does not know how to beautifully give compliments or look after him, then it is unlikely that he can be corrected. Charm comes from nature, and if this is important to you, choose a young man whom nature has generously rewarded. Pliable or, conversely, hot-tempered? It is unlikely to change over time, unless the worst side. Evaluate the qualities of each of the two applicants, and the more of them there are, the wiser the choice you will make.

The right choice in life

It is easiest to assess current circumstances and make a choice in a calm environment, in comfortable conditions. State the situation clearly and write it down on a piece of paper. This could be a question: “what job or?”, “Which man to choose?”. This could be a statement: “I want to live independently from my parents!”, “I want to find a new living space!” Add explanatory words:

what amount do you expect;
what deadline do you set for yourself?

Think about which of your loved ones or acquaintances can influence your choice. Divide the sheet into two halves and title each half according to the solution options. In the columns, indicate the pros and cons of each option. Write down the number of possible losses and the level of risk.

When everything is written down on paper, it seems that the choice is ready, but listen to your doubts. If there are too many of them, contact relatives, friends or older acquaintances you trust. Tell us in detail about positive aspects affairs and doubts that frighten.

Be sure to discuss possible life changes with your parents and those affected by them. After all, these people should know what is happening and they have the right to contribute.

How to make the right decision?

Making a decision is difficult, and the situation is aggravated by the understanding that a mistake made can be costly. As a child, the dream of a magic wand seemed like a solution to all decisions. But we grow, and with this comes the realization that this is a fairy-tale object that has nothing to do with reality. But the subconscious exists, and it is it that can tell you how to make the right choice between men, in work or profession.

The best time to reflect on your choice is in the evening, before bed. The worries and worries of the day are left behind, the body relaxes, tension gradually goes away, and breathing becomes calm. Think about the problem and think about what ways to solve it. Make a choice in your thoughts and imagine how you will feel, what people will remain near you, what will happen.

The subconscious is a resource that guides you through life. It manifests itself in the form of images and feelings. Having mentally made a choice, listen, what emotions are overwhelming? Do you feel a surge of new strength or depression and heaviness? Sometimes subconscious impulses manifest themselves in the form of real temperature or pain sensations:

right side of the body - yes;
the left side is not.

Listen to your friends, brother, sister, parents, listen to your intuition, and you will definitely make the right choice.

In life, we make choices every day, small or life-changing. Whether you know what the consequences will be or not, whether you want to do it or not, it doesn’t matter. Even by deciding not to do anything, you are already committing an action that will entail certain changes. That's why it's so important to learn how to choose best option for yourself, no matter what happens, and no matter who tries to manipulate you.

Let's figure out how to make the right choice

There is only one the right decision for all. It always depends on who is receiving it, on his character, knowledge, intentions, experience, and even mood. So don't try to blindly follow what others say. Only you know what you need. But you shouldn’t refuse help if you are sure that someone’s knowledge will help minimize risks. Avoid those who have not been able to achieve anything in life and do not waste time listening to their monologue about what they would do.

Very often we are afraid to move from words to action for one single reason: we are afraid to make a mistake. And the reasons for this fear lie in self-doubt. It seems to us that we are not smart, good or strong enough so as not to stumble and cause even more problems. To get rid of such doubts, it is important to realize that having decided to act, you are already mentally prepared to overcome everything, no matter what happens. Take it for granted.

The choice is always difficult and unpredictable, no matter how hard we try to foresee everything, and the desire to make it, and not shift responsibility to someone else, is in itself worthy of respect. You have something to love and believe in yourself for. You have where to draw strength to do your best. Understand the severity of the consequences if something goes wrong, and prepare for any eventuality. This will allow you to get rid of unnecessary thoughts.

Psychologists are unanimous that it is much more useful to move forward than to remain in place and wait for the right moment, which may not come. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. True, few people think that this is also a kind of choice that entails consequences, and as life shows, not always successful.

By refusing to do anything, people still make a choice, only an unconscious one, but a forced one, the consequences of which they cannot even approximately calculate. It is safer to follow your own path rather than leave yourself to chance. This should be the motivating factor in case of any doubts and reluctance to solve problems. It will not be possible to constantly avoid the fight for what is dear; life will still be buried under the rubble of problems and troubles, and there will be no strength to fix it.

Analyzing available information and your own capabilities to make a decision is not easy. And here you can’t do without patience and application in complex life situation famous proverb“Measure seven times, and then cut.” Let it become a motto when thinking about any plans. You should never rush where your future is at stake, but there is no need to be afraid either. Everything is in your hands, mistakes can be corrected, but lost time cannot be returned. Everything needs a “golden” mean.

A person’s entire life is associated with risk and a high probability of error, and nothing can be done about it. But you won’t be able to reach your heights by ceding the right to decide for you to all and sundry, as the saying goes: “He who doesn’t take risks, doesn’t drink champagne.” Therefore, learn to embrace everything new and make the most of what you are capable of, and you will always be able to make the best choice for yourself. You cannot stumble when you are aware of what and why you are doing, even if you then have to get up again and move forward.

Photo: how to make the right choice

Top 7 how to make the right choice

• You can make a wise decision with the right information. And it doesn’t matter whether it concerns some general issues, such as training or place of work, or purely individual: achieving success or happiness in personal life. Before making a choice, study any available data on your topic, everything you can find. Read the stories of those who have experienced similar things. This will provide a more complete picture of all existing options way out of such a situation. And even if they don’t suit you, you can always use them to develop the one you need.
• It is equally important to learn how to use the information received. This will not only reduce the time it takes to implement your own plans, but will also give you strength in difficult situation. Nothing scares a person more than uncertainty. Having a large baggage of a wide variety of knowledge, you can use it in the most unexpected cases, thereby reducing risks. It is easy to benefit from any information if you train yourself to perceive it not as external noise, but to be ready to hear, read or see what is worth applying in your life. For example, you want to earn a million. Take a closer look at articles dedicated to people who managed to achieve this. Maybe one of their ideas or concepts will suit you too, and who knows if it won't turn out to be a real goldmine.

• To make it easier to imagine the future, write down on a piece of paper what you want to get from a certain situation. Which choice will satisfy your interests and which will satisfy the rest of the participants. Think about how each of them can be reflected possible options on your future plans, tasks and goals. Evaluate them in terms of importance and the benefits they will bring. Choose the one you like best. After analyzing all the components, evaluate how important each of them is for all participants, and especially for you. At this moment you will feel whether you want to take care of yourself exclusively or whether this is the case when caring for another will bring much more joy than your own benefit, although good deeds we do it for our own sake.
• It’s difficult to choose, despite all the faith in yourself, think about how this or that decision will affect the future. What will change after you do exactly that. Will this cause much damage, will it bring success, what new tasks or difficulties may arise, what will be required to solve them. Scroll through possible scenarios in your head, analyze them, imagine the most big problems that may arise, and listen to yourself. After such a close and detailed study, you will know exactly which option is the most acceptable and safe.

• Learn to compare the pros and cons. The choice with more advantages is considered more correct. But sometimes our fears prevent us from correctly assessing the prospects that open up. For example, you want to move to another city or change jobs, your inner self begins to protest because you are trying to get out of your comfort zone. A lot of positive aspects immediately arise in the existing situation, from which, in fact, you are tired, but despite this, you begin to doubt and refuse what you need. And there is nothing to counter these doubts, because you know nothing about how these fundamental changes will affect later life. The decision in such a situation is best made based on whether your need for change is great, how much it stronger than fear unknown.
• Once you have thought through the most likely scenarios, imagine their implementation step by step. Think through in great detail what will happen if you go one way or another. There is no other way to ensure that you have taken into account all known risks and are prepared to do everything in your power.

• The right choice most often depends on whether you are able to understand what you are giving up when you decide to do this and not otherwise. Only when a person gains more than he loses does he determine whether he made the right decision. After all, only then does he always win.

There are no people who could accurately predict what changes will happen in their lives if they try to achieve what they want in one way or another or give it up altogether. It is impossible to live without mistakes and wrong actions; we are not given the opportunity to be perfect. We are people with all our advantages and disadvantages, which some are able to fight, but others are not. But we have the power to take responsibility for everything, no matter what we do or say. And then you yourself will not even notice how you will learn to trust your intuition, and any choice you make will be the most correct at a certain time and in a certain place.

Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of our psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate life and choose, decide difficult questions and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you understand everything with utmost accuracy.

Questions of choice confront us every day. It is especially difficult to make a choice if it can affect life scenario, change relationships with people. Favorite thing or work for money? Mistress or wife? How to make a choice so as not to make a mistake? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you make a choice of any complexity.

This article is about those for whom making the right choice is an important and difficult matter. Read on if:

you are not used to doing all the “goof-ups”, you need to find out all the details, figure it out, think about it, and then make a decision;

in your profession and other life issues you act thoroughly, without haste;

if you need to make the right choice, ask respected people for advice;

It is important for you not to make a mistake - the decision must be made once and for all, not changed, it must be immediately correct, the best possible.

It's interesting that for some people the choice comes easy. Why? Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of our psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate life and make choices, solve complex issues and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you understand everything with utmost accuracy.

Making a choice is not a difficult task for everyone

So, men and women who have , do not rack their brains about how to make the right choice, which option will be the best and correct, they think about how not to make a mistake. Being physically and mentally flexible, even when choosing a job or relationship, a wife or mistress, they do it easily and quickly. They rely on rational judgments, instantly assess the benefits and benefits.

How to make the right choice if you are a perfectionist

But perfectionists by nature are men and women with. It is important to them that everything is done perfectly and correctly. It is better to spend more time to go through all the options, eliminate the wrong ones, and only then decide on a decision.

We turn to expert opinion

Due to their innate mental characteristics, it is difficult for them to make a choice. They are not leaders, their natural tasks are different - they have quality, they are executive and need to initiate the first step.

In childhood, being obedient children, they wait for advice and tips from their mother. As adults, owners anal vector They often continue to seek the opinion of an authoritative person who will help them decide and help them not make mistakes and make the right choice. They discuss difficult, complex issues with those who command their respect. Who has experience? This helps to make the right choice when it comes to the professional field. But if the choice concerns your personal life, then no one can know what is best for you!

Any advice will be based on the experience of the adviser, his values ​​and preferences, but this will not necessarily be good for you, because you have your own values ​​and preferences.

Therefore, it is extremely important for you to understand what you really want, then you can achieve it.

The key to the right choice. How to become an expert in your life

How to make the right choice if, for example, you are choosing a life partner? What to rely on? System-vector psychology provides irreplaceable knowledge here, helping to deeply understand the psyche - one’s own and that of others. Already at the first contact with a guy or girl, you can easily find out what character traits a person has (loyal or fickle, kind or not, emotional or reserved, what he will love and what he will strive for, what is important to him and what is not so important) ), what life scenario awaits you as a couple, etc. And so on in everything. You will be able to make a choice of profession, place of work, negotiation tactics, methods of education, or anything - when you understand the human psyche, there are no unanswered questions for you. This is confirmed by numerous people who have undergone training in system-vector psychology.

What prevents us from making a choice?

In addition to a natural reluctance to make decisions, the owner of the anal vector can be hampered by childhood psychological trauma, overstress, and resentment. Then:

he becomes pathologically indecisive;

fear of the future, fear of change only strengthens him in his decision not to change anything;

he cannot bring himself to act. Infinitely any important matter.

As a result, he becomes unable to even choose between two toothbrushes in the store.

With the help of system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan from such serious condition you can get rid of it. This is evidenced by the results of many people:

“When you see something unfinished, fear no longer arises, quite the opposite: a pleasant feeling of what now needs to be completed, finished. And the moment of starting, moving from a dead point, is especially pleasant. But this is precisely what made me suffer so much. Developing positive experience. There is already a feeling inside that I can achieve what I want. I began to want more, to dream about more. Confidence has appeared..."

We want to tell you about an amazing and very simple technique of 7 questions that will allow you to assess the situation from different points of view, get rid of doubts and take the ability to make the right choice to a new level.

WARNING: You may not always like the answers, but in the end they will help you make the right decision.

1. What would I choose if it were not for fear?

Unfortunately, too many decisions in our lives are made for us by our own fears and stereotypes. Of course, successful businessmen take a balanced approach to all the risks they take on in their choices, but they also take a conscious approach to their fears in doing so. If you feel obstacles, write down (literally!) all your fears and doubts and carefully work through them with someone who will help you be objective. Sometimes the choice that causes us the most fear is the best one.

2. What would I choose if it were not for money?

What do you think: many brilliant ideas were never implemented due to lack of money? Or is there no money because these ideas were not implemented? Will you deny yourself development and moving forward if you feel like you don’t have enough money for it? No matter how fantastic it may sound, if you made the right choice, there will always be money. Remember crowdfunding? crowd funding, сrowd- "crowd", funding- “financing”). You can also turn to relatives, friends, acquaintances for help, or simply let those around you know that you are looking for an investor. And don’t let money, or rather the lack thereof, stop you.

3. What's the worst and best that could happen?

As a continuation of the previous two questions, draw yourself on paper a mental map of all the possible consequences of all possible solutions. List the positive, negative, tangible, and insignificant results that your choice will entail. In most cases best way out thus will become obvious on its own.

4. What have my previous experiences taught me?

Any life experience- be it positive or negative - gives us valuable lessons. Defeats in our lives happen only when, when we have not learned any lesson for ourselves. The rise is as valuable a lesson as the fall. Think back to your previous ups and downs and think: is your previous experience telling you what to do in a given situation?

5. Does this match my vision?

Ask yourself a question: do you really need this or are you agreeing out of necessity, although you are turning in a completely different direction than where you are striving? After all, one of the main factors for success is consistency, so always keep in mind whether this decision aligns with your vision and whether it will derail you from your course?

6. What do my soul and body tell me?

Remember your last choice, which you regret - didn’t your inner voice or body give you signals that you shouldn’t do this? If you feel physical discomfort when making a decision or your inner voice is quietly discouraging you, listen to these signals. They may not coincide with what you are leaning towards in currently, but the subconscious is much more aware of how this choice will affect you in the future.

7. How will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow?

Finally, about the future. How will you feel the next day after you make this or that decision? If you feel proud, energized, and inspired, you are on the right way. If you notice shame or regret in yourself, do not ignore these feelings. If you are already experiencing them, prepare for the worst.

For full picture think about what you will experience as a result of your choice in a week/month/year. You can also take 5 or 10 years for big decisions that have a significant impact on your entire life.

Conclusions: How to make the right choice?

Save this image to your desktop. Post it on your Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / LinkedIn / VKontakte. Finally, print it out and hang it above your desk. And every time you feel doubt when making a choice, answer each of these 7 questions. Believe me - it works.