Phenomenon I

Mrs. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Eremeevna.

Ms. Prostakova (examining the caftan on Mitrofan). The caftan is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring the swindler Trishka here. (Eremeevna leaves.) He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.

Mitrofan leaves.

Phenomenon II

Mrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka.

Ms. Prostakova(Trishka). And you, brute, come closer. Didn’t I tell you, you thieving mug, that you should make your caftan wider? The first child grows; another, a child and without a narrow caftan of delicate build. Tell me, idiot, what is your excuse?

Trishka. But, madam, I was self-taught. I reported to you at the same time: well, if you please, give it to the tailor.

Mrs. Prostakova. So is it really necessary to be a tailor to be able to sew a caftan well? What bestial reasoning!

Trishka. Yes, I studied to be a tailor, madam, but I didn’t.

Mrs. Prostakova. While searching, he argues. A tailor learned from another, another from a third, but who did the first tailor learn from? Speak up, beast.

Trishka. Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine.

Mitrofan(runs in). I called my father. I deigned to say: immediately.

Mrs. Prostakova. So go and get him out if you don’t get the good stuff.

Mitrofan. Yes, here comes the father.

Scene III

Same with Prostakov.

Prostakov (stammering out of timidity). Me... a little baggy.

Mrs. Prostakova. You yourself are baggy, smart head.

Prostakov. Yes, I thought, mother, that it seemed so to you.

Mrs. Prostakova. Are you blind yourself?

Prostakov. With your eyes, mine see nothing.

Mrs. Prostakova. This is the kind of hubby the Lord gave me: he doesn’t know how to figure out what’s wide and what’s narrow.

Prostakov. In this, mother, I believed and believe you.

Mrs. Prostakova. So believe also that I do not intend to indulge the slaves. Go, sir, and punish now...

Phenomenon IV

Same with Skotinin.

Mrs. Prostakova. Well, brother, I’ll go crazy on your eyes. Mitrofanushka, come here. Is this caftan baggy?

Skotinin. No.

Prostakov. Yes, I can already see, mother, that it is narrow.

Skotinin. I don't see that either. The caftan, brother, is well made.

Ms. Prostakova(Trishka). Get out, you bastard.

(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. Eremeevna.

Mrs. Prostakova. He already, mother, deigned to eat five buns.

(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. So you feel sorry for the sixth one, beast? What zeal! Please take a look.

Mrs. Prostakova. Cheers, mother. I said this for Mitrofan Terentyevich. I grieved until the morning.

Mitrofan. Ah, Mother of God! What happened to you, Mitrofanushka?

Skotinin. Yes, mother. Yesterday after dinner it hit me.

Mitrofan. Yes, it’s clear, brother, you had a hearty dinner.

Prostakov. And I, uncle, almost didn’t have dinner at all.

Mitrofan. I remember, my friend, you wanted to eat something.

(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. What! Three slices of corned beef, and hearth slices, I don’t remember, five, I don’t remember, six.

Mitrofan. Every now and then he asked for a drink at night. I deigned to eat a whole jug of kvass.

Mrs. Prostakova. And now I’m walking around like crazy. All night such rubbish was in my eyes.

Mitrofan. What rubbish, Mitrofanushka?

Mrs. Prostakova. Yes, either you, mother, or father.

Mitrofan. How is this possible?

Prostakov As soon as I start to fall asleep, I see that you, mother, deign to beat father.

Mitrofan(to the side) . Well, my bad! Sleep in hand!

Ms. Prostakova(softened up) . So I felt sorry.

Mitrofan.(with annoyance). Who, Mitrofanushka?

Mrs. Prostakova. You, mother: you are so tired, beating your father.

Skotinin. Surround me, my dear friend! Here, son, is my only consolation.

Prostakov. Well, Mitrofanushka, I see you are a mother’s son, not a father’s son!

Skotinin. At least I love him, as a parent should, he’s a smart child, he’s a sensible child, he’s funny, he’s an entertainer; sometimes I am beside myself with him and with joy I truly do not believe that he is my son.

Mrs. Prostakova. Only now our funny man is standing there, frowning.

Mitrofan. Shouldn't we send for a doctor to the city?

Mrs. Prostakova. No, no, mother. I'd rather get better on my own. Now I’ll run to the dovecote, maybe…

So maybe the Lord is merciful. Go and have some fun, Mitrofanushka.

Mitrofan and Eremeevna leave.

Phenomenon V

Skotinin. Ms. Prostakova, Prostakov, Skotinin.

Mrs. Prostakova. We'll make it, brother. If we tell her this ahead of time, she may still think that we are reporting to her. Although by marriage, however, I am related to her; and I love that strangers listen to me.

Prostakov(Skotinin). To tell the truth, we treated Sophia like an orphan. After her father she remained a baby. About six months ago, her mother, and my in-law, had a stroke...

Ms. Prostakova (showing as if he is baptizing his heart). The power of the god is with us.

Prostakov. From which she went to the next world. Her uncle, Mr. Starodum, went to Siberia; and since there has been no rumor or news of him for several years now, we consider him dead. We, seeing that she was left alone, took her to our village and look after her estate as if it were our own.

Mrs. Prostakova. What, why have you gone so crazy today, my father? Looking for a brother, he might think that we took her to us out of interest.

Prostakov. Well, mother, how should he think about this? After all, we can’t move Sofyushkino’s real estate estate to ourselves.

Skotinin. And although the movable has been put forward, I am not a petitioner. I don’t like to bother, and I’m afraid. No matter how much my neighbors offended me, no matter how much loss they caused, I did not attack anyone, and any loss, rather than going after it, I would rip off from my own peasants, and the ends would go to waste.

Prostakov. It’s true, brother: the whole neighborhood says that you are a master at collecting rent.

Mrs. Prostakova. At least you taught us, brother father; but we just can’t do it. Since we took away everything the peasants had, we can’t take anything back. Such a disaster!

Skotinin. Please, sister, I will teach you, I will teach you, just marry me to Sophia.

Mrs. Prostakova. Did you really like this girl that much?

Skotinin. No, it's not the girl I like.

Prostakov. So next door to her village?

Skotinin. And not the villages, but the fact that it is found in the villages and what my mortal desire is.

Mrs. Prostakova. Until what, brother?

Skotinin. I love pigs, sister, and in our neighborhood there are such large pigs that there is not a single one of them that, standing on its hind legs, would not be taller than each of us by a whole head.

Prostakov. It’s a strange thing, brother, how family can resemble family. Mitrofanushka is our uncle. And he was a hunter of pigs, just like you. When I was still three years old, when I saw a pig, I used to tremble with joy.

Skotinin. This is truly a curiosity! Well, brother, Mitrofan loves pigs because he is my nephew. There is some similarity here; Why am I so addicted to pigs?

Prostakov. And there is some similarity here, I think so.

Scene VI

Same with Sophia.

Sophia entered holding a letter in her hand and looking cheerful.

Ms. Prostakova(Sofya). Why are you so happy, mother? What are you happy about?

Sophia. I have now received good news. My uncle, about whom we knew nothing for so long, whom I love and honor as my father, recently arrived in Moscow. Here is the letter I have now received from him.

Ms. Prostakova (frightened, with anger). How! Starodum, your uncle, is alive! And you deign to say that he has risen! That's a fair amount of fiction!

Sophia. Yes, he never died.

Mrs. Prostakova. Didn't die! But shouldn't he die? No, madam, these are your inventions, in order to intimidate us with your uncle, so that we give you freedom. Uncle is a smart man; he, seeing me in the wrong hands, will find a way help me out. That's what you're glad about, madam; however, perhaps, don’t be very happy: your uncle, of course, did not resurrect.

Skotinin. Sister, what if he didn’t die?

Prostakov. God forbid he didn't die!

Ms. Prostakova(to husband). How did you not die? Why are you confusing grandma? Don’t you know that for several years now he has been commemorated by me in memorials for his repose? Surely my sinful prayers didn’t reach me! (To Sophia.) Perhaps a letter for me.(Almost throws up.)

Sophia. I bet it's some kind of amorous. And I can guess from whom. This is from the officer who was looking to marry you and whom you yourself wanted to marry. What a beast gives you letters without my asking! I'll get there. This is what we have come to. They write letters to the girls! The girls can read and write!

Mrs. Prostakova. Read it yourself, madam. You will see that nothing could be more innocent.

Prostakov Read it for yourself! No, madam, thank God, I was not brought up like that. I can receive letters, but I always tell someone else to read them.

Mrs. Prostakova.(To my husband.) Read.

Skotinin.(looking for a long time). It's tricky.

Sophia. And you, my father, were apparently raised like a pretty girl. Brother, read it, work hard.

Mrs. Prostakova. I? I haven't read anything in my life, sister! God saved me from this boredom.

Skotinin. Let me read it.

Mrs. Prostakova. Oh, dear brother! I've been studying for four years now. There’s nothing, it’s a sin to say that we don’t try to educate Mitrofanushka. We pay three teachers. The sexton from Pokrov, Kuteikin, comes to him to read and write. One retired sergeant, Tsyfirkin, teaches him arithmetic, father. Both of them come here from the city. The city is three miles away from us, father. He is taught French and all sciences by the German Adam Adamych Vralman. This is three hundred rubles a year. We seat you at the table with us. Our women wash his linen. Where needed - a horse. There is a glass of wine at the table. At night there is a tallow candle, and our Fomka sends the wig for free. To tell the truth, we are happy with him, dear brother. He doesn't oppress the child. Vit, my father, while Mitrofanushka is still undergrowth, sweat and pamper him; and there, in ten years, when he enters, God forbid, into service, he will suffer everything. As for anyone, happiness is destined for them, brother. From our surname Prostakovs, look - the tissue, lying on its side, is flying to its ranks. Why is their Mitrofanushka worse? Bah! Yes, by the way, our dear guest came here.

Scene VII

Same with Pravdin.

Mrs. Prostakova. Brother, my friend! I recommend to you our dear guest, Mr. Pravdin; and to you, my lord, I recommend my brother.

Pravdin. I am glad to have made your acquaintance.

Skotinin. Okay, my lord! As for the last name, I didn’t hear it.

Pravdin. I call myself Pravdin so you can hear.

Skotinin. Which native, my lord? Where are the villages?

Pravdin. I was born in Moscow, if you need to know, and my villages are in the local governorship.

Skotinin. Do I dare ask, my sir—I don’t know my name and patronymic—are there pigs in your villages?

Mrs. Prostakova. Enough, brother, let’s start about pigs. Let's talk better about our grief.

Pravdin.(To Pravdin.) Here, father! God told us to take the girl into our arms. She deigns to receive letters from her uncles. Uncles write to her from the other world. Do me a favor, my father, take the trouble to read it out loud to all of us.

Sophia. Excuse me, madam. I never read letters without the permission of those to whom they are written.

Pravdin. I ask you this. You will do me a great favor.

If you order.(Reads.) “Dear niece! My affairs forced me to live for several years in separation from my neighbors; and the distance deprived me of the pleasure of hearing about you. I am now in Moscow, having lived in Siberia for several years. I can serve as an example that you can make your own fortune through hard work and honesty. By these means, with the help of happiness, I earned ten thousand rubles in income...”

Skotinin and both Prostakovs. Ten thousand!

Mrs. Prostakova. You as heiress!

Prostakov. Sophia is the heiress!

Skotinin. Her heiress!

Ms. Prostakova (rushing to hug Sophia). Congratulations, Sofyushka! Congratulations, my soul! I'm overjoyed! Now you need a groom. I, I best bride I don’t wish it for Mitrofanushka either. That's it, uncle! That's my dear father! I myself still thought that God was protecting him, that he was still alive.

Skotinin(extending his hand). Well, sister, quickly shake hands.

Ms. Prostakova (quietly to Skotinin). Wait, brother. First you need to ask her if she still wants to marry you?

Skotinin. How! What a question! Are you really going to report to her?

Skotinin. And for what? Even if you read for five years, you won’t finish reading better than ten thousand.

Ms. Prostakova(to Sophia). Sophia, my soul! let's go to my bedroom. I have an urgent need to talk to you.

Skotinin.(Took Sophia away.)

Bah! So I see that today it is unlikely that there will be any conspiracy.

Scene VIII

Pravdin, Prostakov, Skotinin, servant. Servant(to Prostakov, out of breath)

Prostakov.. Master! master! soldiers came and stopped in our village.

Pravdin. What a disaster! Well, they will ruin us completely!

Prostakov. What are you afraid of?

Pravdin. Ah, dear father! We've already seen the sights. I don’t dare show up to them.

Do not be afraid. They are, of course, led by an officer who will not allow any insolence. Come with me to him. I am sure that you are timid in vain.

Skotinin. Pravdin, Prostakov and the servant leave.

Everyone left me alone. The idea was to go for a walk in the barnyard.

End of the first act

Minor

Comedy in five acts

CHARACTERS
Prostakov.
Mrs. Prostakova, his wife.
Prostakov, their son, is an undergrowth.
Eremeevna, Mitrofanov’s mother.
Pravdin.
Starodum.
Sophia, Starodum's niece.
Milo.
Skotinin, brother of Mrs. Prostakova.
Kuteikin, seminarian.
Tsyfirkin, retired sergeant.
Vralman, teacher.
Trishka, tailor.
Prostakov's servant.
Starodum's valet.

Action in the village of Prostakovs.

ACT ONE

PHENOMENON I

Ms. ProstakovaMrs. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Eremeevna.(examining the caftan on Mitrofan). The caftan is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring the swindler Trishka here.(Eremeevna leaves.)
Mitrofan leaves.

He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.

SCENE II

Ms. ProstakovaMrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka.(Trishka).
Trishka. And you, brute, come closer. Didn’t I tell you, you thieving mug, that you should make your caftan wider? The first child grows; another, a child and without a narrow caftan of delicate build. Tell me, idiot, what is your excuse?
Mrs. Prostakova. But, madam, I was self-taught. I reported to you at the same time: well, if you please, give it to the tailor.
Trishka. Yes, I studied to be a tailor, madam, but I didn’t.
Mrs. Prostakova. While searching, he argues. A tailor learned from another, another from a third, but who did the first tailor learn from? Speak up, beast.
Trishka. Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine.
MitrofanSo is it really necessary to be a tailor to be able to sew a caftan well? What bestial reasoning! I called my father. I deigned to say: immediately.
Mrs. Prostakova. So go and get him out if you don’t get the good stuff.
Mitrofan. Yes, here comes the father.

SCENE III

Same with Prostakov.

Mrs. Prostakova. What, why do you want to hide from me? This, sir, is how far I have lived with your indulgence. What's a new thing for a son to do with his uncle's agreement? What kind of caftan did Trishka deign to sew?
Prostakov(stammering out of timidity). Me... a little baggy.
Mrs. Prostakova. You yourself are baggy, smart head.
Prostakov. Yes, I thought, mother, that it seemed so to you.
Mrs. Prostakova. Are you blind yourself?
Prostakov. With your eyes, mine see nothing.
Mrs. Prostakova. This is the kind of hubby God blessed me with: he doesn’t know how to figure out what’s wide and what’s narrow.
Prostakov. In this, mother, I believed and believe you.
Mrs. Prostakova. So believe also that I do not intend to indulge the slaves. Go, sir, and punish now...

SCENE IV

Same with Skotinin.

Skotinin. Whom? For what? On the day of my conspiracy! I ask you, sister, for such a holiday to postpone the punishment until tomorrow; and tomorrow, if you please, I myself will willingly help. If I weren’t Taras Skotinin, if not every fault is my fault. In this, sister, I have the same custom as you. Why are you so angry?
Mrs. Prostakova. Well, brother, I’ll go crazy on your eyes. Mitrofanushka, come here. Is this caftan baggy?
Skotinin. No.
Prostakov. Yes, I can already see, mother, that it is narrow.
Skotinin. I don't see that either. The caftan, brother, is well made.
Ms. ProstakovaMrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka. Get out, you bastard. (Eremeevna.) Go ahead, Eremeevna, give the child breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon.
(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. He already, mother, deigned to eat five buns.
Mrs. Prostakova. He already, mother, deigned to eat five buns.
(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. So you feel sorry for the sixth one, beast? What zeal! Please take a look.
Mrs. Prostakova. Oh, mother of God! What happened to you, Mitrofanushka?
Mitrofan. Ah, Mother of God! What happened to you, Mitrofanushka?
Skotinin. Yes, it’s clear, brother, you had a hearty dinner.
Mitrofan. And I, uncle, almost didn’t have dinner at all.
Prostakov. I remember, my friend, you wanted to eat something.
Mitrofan. What! Three slices of corned beef, and hearth slices, I don’t remember, five, I don’t remember, six.
(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. Every now and then he asked for a drink at night. I deigned to eat a whole jug of kvass.
Mitrofan. And now I’m walking around like crazy. All night such rubbish was in my eyes.
Mrs. Prostakova. What rubbish, Mitrofanushka?
Mitrofan. Yes, either you, mother, or father.
Mrs. Prostakova. Yes, either you, mother, or father.
Mitrofan. How is this possible?
Prostakov(to the side). Well, my bad! Sleep in hand!
Mitrofan(softening up). So I felt sorry.
Ms. Prostakova(with annoyance). Who, Mitrofanushka?
Mitrofan. You, mother: you are so tired, beating your father.
Mrs. Prostakova. Surround me, my dear friend! Here, son, is my only consolation.
Skotinin. Well, Mitrofanushka, I see you are a mother’s son, not a father’s son!
Prostakov. Well, Mitrofanushka, I see you are a mother’s son, not a father’s son!
Skotinin. Only now our funny man is standing there, frowning.
Mrs. Prostakova. Shouldn't we send for a doctor to the city?
Mitrofan. No, no, mother. I'd rather get better on my own. Now I’ll run to the dovecote, maybe…
Mrs. Prostakova. So maybe God is merciful. Go and have some fun, Mitrofanushka.
Mitrofan and Eremeevna enter.

PHENOMENA V

Ms. Prostakova, Prostakov, Skotinin.

Skotinin. Why can't I see my bride? Where is she? There will be an agreement in the evening, so isn’t it time to tell her that they are marrying her off?
Mrs. Prostakova. We'll make it, brother. If we tell her this ahead of time, she may still think that we are reporting to her. Although by marriage, I am still related to her; and I love that strangers listen to me.
Prostakov(Skotinin). To tell the truth, we treated Sophia like an orphan. After their father, they remained a baby. About six months ago, her mother, and my in-law, had a stroke...
Ms. Prostakova(showing as if he is baptizing his heart). The power of the god is with us.
Prostakov. From which she went to the next world. Her uncle, Mr. Starodum, went to Siberia; and since there has been no rumor or news of him for several years now, we consider him dead. We, seeing that she was left alone, took her to our village and look after her estate as if it were our own.
Mrs. Prostakova. What, why have you gone so crazy today, my father? Looking for a brother, he might think that we took her to us out of interest.
Prostakov. Well, mother, how should he think about this? After all, we can’t move Sofyushkino’s real estate estate to ourselves.
Skotinin. And although the movable has been put forward, I am not a petitioner. I don’t like to bother, and I’m afraid. No matter how much my neighbors offended me, no matter how much loss they caused, I did not attack anyone, and any loss, rather than going after it, I would rip off from my own peasants, and the ends would go to waste.
Prostakov. It’s true, brother: the whole neighborhood says that you are a master at collecting rent.
Mrs. Prostakova. At least you taught us, brother father; but we just can’t do it. Since we took away everything the peasants had, we can’t take anything back. Such a disaster!
Skotinin. Please, sister, I will teach you, I will teach you, just marry me to Sophia.
Mrs. Prostakova. Did you really like this girl that much?
Skotinin. No, it's not the girl I like.
Prostakov. So next door to her village?
Skotinin. And not the villages, but the fact that it is found in the villages and what my mortal desire is.
Mrs. Prostakova. Until what, brother?
Skotinin. I love pigs, sister, and in our neighborhood there are such large pigs that there is not a single one of them that, standing on its hind legs, would not be taller than each of us by a whole head.
Prostakov. It’s a strange thing, brother, how family can resemble family. Mitrofanushka is our uncle. And he was a hunter of pigs, just like you. When I was still three years old, when I saw a pig, I used to tremble with joy.
Skotinin. This is truly a curiosity! Well, brother, Mitrofan loves pigs because he is my nephew. There is some similarity here; Why am I so addicted to pigs?
Prostakov. And there is some similarity here, I think so.

SCENE VI

Same with Sophia.

Sophia came in holding a letter in her hand and looking cheerful.
Ms. Prostakova(Sofya). Why are you so happy, mother? What are you happy about?
Sophia. I have now received joyful information. My uncle, about whom we knew nothing for so long, whom I love and honor as my father, recently arrived in Moscow. Here is the letter I have now received from him.
Ms. Prostakova(frightened, with anger). How! Starodum, your uncle, is alive! And you deign to say that he has risen! That's a fair amount of fiction!
Sophia. Yes, he never died.
Mrs. Prostakova. Didn't die! But shouldn't he die? No, madam, these are your inventions, in order to intimidate us with your uncle, so that we give you freedom. Uncle is a smart man; he, seeing me in the wrong hands, will find a way to help me out. That's what you're glad about, madam; however, perhaps, don’t be very happy: your uncle, of course, did not resurrect.
Skotinin. Sister, what if he didn’t die?
Prostakov. God forbid he didn't die!
Ms. Prostakova(to my husband). How did you not die? Why are you confusing grandma? Don’t you know that for several years now he has been commemorated by me in memorials for his repose? Surely my sinful prayers didn’t reach me! (To Sophia.) Perhaps a letter for me. (Almost throws up.) I bet it's some kind of amorous. And I can guess from whom. This is from the officer who was looking to marry you and whom you yourself wanted to marry. What a beast gives you letters without my asking! I'll get there. This is what we have come to. They write letters to the girls! The girls can read and write!)
Sophia. Read it yourself, madam. You will see that nothing could be more innocent.
Mrs. Prostakova. Read it for yourself! No, madam, thank God, I was not brought up like that. I can receive letters, but I always tell someone else to read them. (To my husband.) Read.
Prostakov(looks for a long time). It's tricky.
Mrs. Prostakova. And you, my father, were apparently raised like a pretty girl. Brother, read it, work hard.
Skotinin. I? I haven't read anything in my life, sister! God saved me from this boredom.
Sophia. Let me read it.
Mrs. Prostakova. Oh mother! I know that you are a craftswoman, but I don’t really believe you. Here, I’m having tea, teacher Mitrofanushkin will come soon. I tell him...
Skotinin. Have you started teaching the youngster to read and write?
Mrs. Prostakova. Oh, dear brother! I've been studying for four years now. There’s nothing, it’s a sin to say that we don’t try to educate Mitrofanushka. We pay three teachers. The sexton from Pokrov, Kuteikin, comes to him to read and write. A retired sergeant, Tsyfirkits, teaches him arithmetics, father. Both of them come here from the city. The city is three miles away from us, father. He is taught French and all sciences by the German Adam Adamych Vralman. This is three hundred rubles a year. We seat you at the table with us. Our women wash his linen. Where needed - a horse. There is a glass of wine at the table. At night there is a tallow candle, and our Fomka sends the wig for free. To tell the truth, we are happy with him, dear brother. He does not bondage the child. Vit, my father, while Mitrofanushka is still undergrowth, sweat and pamper him; and there, in ten years, when he enters, God forbid, into the service, he will suffer everything. As for anyone, happiness is destined for them, brother. From our family of Prostakovs, look, lying on their sides, ranks fly to themselves. Why is their Mitrofanushka worse? Bah! Yes, by the way, our dear guest came here.

SCENE VII

Same with Pravdin.

Mrs. Prostakova. Brother, my friend! I recommend to you our dear guest, Mr. Pravdin; and to you, my lord, I recommend my brother.
Pravdin. I am glad to have made your acquaintance.
Skotinin. Okay, my lord! As for the last name, I didn’t hear it.
Pravdin. I call myself Pravdin so you can hear.
Skotinin. Which native, my lord? Where are the villages?
Pravdin. I was born in Moscow, if you need to know, and my villages are in the local governorship.
Skotinin. Do I dare ask, my sir—I don’t know my name and patronymic—are there pigs in your villages?
Mrs. Prostakova. That's enough, brother, let's start about pigs. Let's talk better about our grief. (To Pravdin.) Here, father! God told us to take the girl into our arms. She deigns to receive letters from her uncles. Uncles write to her from the other world. Do me a favor, my father, take the trouble to read it out loud to all of us.
Pravdin. Excuse me, madam. I never read letters without the permission of those to whom they are written.
Sophia. I ask you this. You will do me a great favor.
Pravdin. If you order. (Is reading.)“Dear niece! My affairs forced me to live for several years in separation from my neighbors; and the distance deprived me of the pleasure of hearing about you. I am now in Moscow, having lived in Siberia for several years. I can serve as an example that you can make your own fortune through hard work and honesty. By these means, with the help of happiness, I earned ten thousand rubles in income...”
Skotinin and both Prostakovs. Ten thousand!
Skotinin and both Prostakovs(is reading).“...to whom, my dear niece, I make you heir...”
Ms. Prostakova, Prostakov, Skotinin(together):
-Your heiress!
- Sophia is the heiress!
- Her heiress!
Ms. Prostakova(rushing to hug Sophia). Congratulations, Sofyushka! Congratulations, my soul! I'm overjoyed! Now you need a groom. I, I don’t wish for a better bride for Mitrofanushka. That's it, uncle! That's my dear father! I myself still thought that God protects him, that he is still alive.
Skotinin(extending his hand). Well, sister, quickly shake hands.
Ms. Prostakova(quietly to Skotinin). Wait, brother. First you need to ask her if she still wants to marry you?
Skotinin. How! What a question! Are you really going to report to her?
Pravdin. Will you allow me to finish reading the letter?
Skotinin. And for what? Even if you read for five years, you won’t get better than ten thousand.
Ms. Prostakova(to Sophia). Sophia my soul! let's go to my bedroom. I have an urgent need to talk to you. (Took Sophia away.)
Skotinin. Bah! So I see that today it is unlikely that there will be any agreement.

SCENE VIII

Pravdin, Prostakov, Skotinin, servant.

Pravdin, Prostakov, Skotinin, servant.(to Prostakov, out of breath). Master! master! soldiers came and stopped in our village.
Prostakov. What a disaster! Well, they will ruin us completely!
Pravdin. What a disaster! Well, they will ruin us completely!
Prostakov. Oh, dear father! We've already seen the sights. I don’t dare show up to them.
Pravdin. Do not be afraid. They are, of course, led by an officer who will not allow any insolence. Come with me to him. I am sure that you are timid in vain.
Do not be afraid. They are, of course, led by an officer who will not allow any insolence. Come with me to him. I am sure that you are timid in vain.
Skotinin. Pravdin, Prostakov and the servant leave.

End of the first act.

ACT TWO

ACT ONE

Pravdin, Milon.

Milo. How glad I am, my dear friend, that I accidentally met you! Tell me in what case...
Pravdin. As a friend, I will tell you the reason for my stay here. I have been appointed a member of the local governorship. I have orders to travel around the local district; and besides, out of my own deed of heart, I do not allow myself to notice those malicious ignoramuses who, having complete power over their people, use it inhumanly for evil. You know the way of thinking of our governor. With what zeal does he help suffering humanity! With what zeal does he thus fulfill the philanthropic forms of the highest power! In our region we ourselves have experienced that where the governor is such as the governor is depicted in the Institution, there the welfare of the inhabitants is true and reliable. I've been living here for three days now. He found the landowner an infinite fool, and his wife a despicable fury, whose hellish disposition brings misfortune to their entire house. Are you thinking, my friend, tell me, how long did you stay here?
Milo. I'm leaving here in a few hours.
Pravdin. What's so soon? Have a rest.
Milo. I can not. I was ordered to lead the soldiers without delay... yes, moreover, I myself am eager to be in Moscow.
Pravdin. What is the reason?
Milo. I will tell you the secret of my heart, dear friend! I am in love and have the happiness of being loved. For more than six months I have been separated from the one who is dearer to me than anything else in the world, and what is even sadder is that I have not heard anything about her during all this time. Often, attributing the silence to her coldness, I was tormented by grief; but suddenly I received news that shocked me. They write to me that, after the death of her mother, some distant relatives took her to their villages. I don’t know: neither who, nor where. Perhaps she is now in the hands of some selfish people who, taking advantage of her orphanhood, are keeping her in tyranny. This thought alone makes me beside myself.
Pravdin. I see similar inhumanity in the house here. I am striving, however, to soon put limits on the wife’s malice and the husband’s stupidity. I have already notified our boss about all the local barbarities and I have no doubt that measures will be taken to calm them down.
Milo. Happy are you, my friend, being able to alleviate the fate of the unfortunate. I don’t know what to do in my sad situation.
Pravdin. Let me ask about her name.
Milo(excited). A! here she is.

He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.

Same with Sophia.

Sophia(in admiration). Milon! Do I see you?
Pravdin. What happiness!
Milo. This is the one who owns my heart. Dear Sophia! Tell me, how do I find you here?
Sophia. How many sorrows have I endured since the day of our separation! My unscrupulous relatives...
Pravdin. My friend! don’t ask about what is so sad for her... You will learn from me what rudeness...
Milo. Unworthy people!
Sophia. Today, however, for the first time the local hostess changed her behavior towards me. Hearing that my uncle was making me an heiress, she suddenly turned from being rude and scolding to the point of being affectionate to the point of being mean, and I can see from all her circumlocutions that she intends me to be his son’s bride.
Milo(eagerly). And you didn’t show her complete contempt at the same time?...
Sophia. No…
Milo. And you didn’t tell her that you had a commitment from the heart, that...
Sophia. No…
Milo. A! now I see my destruction. My opponent is happy! I do not deny all the merits in it. He may be reasonable, enlightened, kind; but so that you can compare with me in my love for you, so that...
Sophia(grinning). My God! If you saw him, your jealousy would drive you to the extreme!
Milo(indignantly). I imagine all its virtues.
Sophia. You can’t even imagine everyone. Although he is sixteen years old, he has already reached the last degree of his perfection and will not go any further.
Pravdin. How can it not go further, madam? He finishes his book of hours; and then, one must think, they will begin to read the psalter.
Milo. How! This is my opponent! And, dear Sophia, why do you torment me with a joke? You know how easily a passionate person is upset by the slightest suspicion.
Sophia. Think how miserable my condition is! I couldn’t answer this stupid proposal decisively. In order to get rid of their rudeness, in order to have some freedom, I was forced to hide my feelings.
Milo. What did you answer her?
Here Skotinin walks through the theater, lost in thought, and no one sees him.
Sophia. I said that my fate depended on my uncle’s will, that he himself promised to come here in his letter, which (to Pravdin) Mr. Skotinin did not allow you to finish reading.
Milo. Skotinin!
Skotinin. I!

SCENE III

Same with Skotinin.

Pravdin. How did you sneak up, Mr. Skotinin! I would not expect this from you.
Skotinin. I passed by you. I heard that they were calling me, and I responded. I have this custom: whoever screams - Skotinin! And I told him: I am! What are you, brothers, really? I myself served in the guard and was retired as a corporal. It used to be that at the roll call they would shout: Taras Skotinin! And I’m at the top of my lungs: I am!
Pravdin. We didn’t call you now, and you can go where you were going.
Skotinin. I wasn’t going anywhere, but wandering around, lost in thought. I have such a custom that if I put something into my head, I can’t knock it out with a nail. In my mind, you hear, what came into my mind is stuck here. That’s all I think about, that’s all I see in a dream, as if in reality, and in reality, as in a dream.
Pravdin. Why would you be so interested now?
Skotinin. Oh, brother, you are my dear friend! Miracles are happening to me. My sister quickly took me from my village to hers, and if she just as quickly takes me from her village to mine, then I can say with a clear conscience before the whole world: I went for nothing, I brought nothing.
Pravdin. What a pity, Mr. Skotinin! Your sister plays with you like a ball.
Skotinin(angry). How about a ball? God forbid! Yes, I myself will throw it so that the whole village will not find it in a week.
Sophia. Oh, how angry you are!
Milo. What happened to you?
Skotinin. You yourself, clever man, think about it. My sister brought me here to get married. Now she herself came up with a recusal: “What do you want, brother, in a wife; If only you had a good pig, brother.” No, sister! I want to have my own piglets. It's not easy to fool me.
Pravdin. It seems to me myself, Mr. Skotinin, that your sister is thinking about a wedding, but not about yours.
Skotinin. What a parable! I am not a hindrance to anyone else. Everyone should marry his bride. I won’t touch someone else’s, and don’t touch mine. (Sofya.) Don't worry, darling. No one will interrupt you from me.
Sophia. What does it mean? Here's something new!
Milo(screamed). What audacity!
Skotinin(to Sophia). Why are you afraid?
Skotinin and both Prostakovs(to Milan). How can you be angry with Skotinin!
Sophia(Skotinin). Am I really destined to be your wife?
Milo. I can hardly resist!
Skotinin. You can’t beat your betrothed with a horse, darling! It’s a sin to blame for your own happiness. You will live happily ever after with me. Ten thousand to your income! Eco happiness has arrived; Yes, I have never seen so much since I was born; Yes, I will buy all the pigs from the world with them; Yes, you hear me, I’ll do it so that everyone will blow the trumpet: in this little area around here there are only pigs to live.
Pravdin. When only our cattle can be happy, then your wife will have bad peace from them and from us.
Skotinin. Poor peace! bah! bah! bah! Don't I have enough light rooms? I’ll give her a coal stove and a bed for her alone. You are my dear friend! If now, without seeing anything, I have a special peck for each pig, then I’ll find a light for my wife.
Milo. What a bestial comparison!
Skotinin and both Prostakovs(Skotinin). Nothing will happen, Mr. Skotinin! I will tell you that your sister will read it for her son.
Skotinin. How! The nephew should interrupt his uncle! Yes, I’ll break him like hell at the first meeting. Well, if I’m a pig’s son, if I’m not her husband, or Mitrofan is a freak.

SCENE IV

The same ones, Eremeevna and Mitrofan.

(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. Yes, learn at least a little.
Mitrofan. Well, say another word, you old bastard! I’ll finish them off; I’ll complain to my mother again, so she’ll deign to give you a task like yesterday.
Skotinin. Come here, buddy.
(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. Please approach your uncle.
Mitrofan. Hello, uncle! Why are you so bristling?
Skotinin. Mitrofan! Look at me straighter.
(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. Look, father.
Mitrofan(Eremeevna). Yes, uncle, what kind of incredible thing is this? What will you see on it?
Skotinin. Once again: look at me straighter.
(Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon. Don't anger your uncle. Look, father, look at how his eyes are wide open, and you can open yours the same way.

Comedy in five acts

CHARACTERS:
Prostakov.
Ms. Prostakova, his wife.
Mitrofan, their son, is an undergrowth.
Eremeevna, Mitrofan's mother.
Pravdin. Starodum.
Sophia, Starodum's niece.
Milo.
Mr. Skotinin, brother of Mrs. Prostakova.
Kuteikin, seminarian.
Tsyfirkin, retired sergeant.
Vralman, teacher.
Trishka, tailor.
Prostakov's servant.
Starodum's valet.
Action in the village of Prostakovs.

ACT ONE

ACT ONE
Ms. Prostakova, looking at Mitrofan's new caftan, scolds Trishka for burdening and ruining the thing. She sends Eremeevna for the tailor, and Mitrofan for his father.

He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.
Prostakova, calling Trishka a “cattle” and a “thief’s mug,” scolds him for his ruined caftan. Trishka makes an excuse: he is self-taught. To this Prostakova replies that the first tailor also did not learn from anyone. To which Trishka brilliantly objects:
- Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine.

SCENE III
Prostakova scolds her husband for hiding from her and asks to resolve the dispute about the caftan. Prostakov thinks that the caftan is baggy (that is, big). Prostakova scolds her husband, and he replies: “Before your eyes, mine don’t see anything.” Prostakova complains that God gave her a foolish husband.

SCENE IV
Skotinin appears and asks who the sister wants to punish on the day of his conspiracy? Another day, he himself will help punish anyone: “If I weren’t Taras Skotinin, if not every fault is my fault.” Looking at Mitrofan’s caftan, Skotinin says that it is made “pretty well.” Prostakova tells Eremeevna to feed Mitrofan, because the teachers will come soon. Eremeevna replies that he has already eaten 5 rolls, and before that he spent the whole night from gluttony. Mitrofan says that he was tormented by nightmares: his mother beat his father. Mitrofan regrets that his mother is tired of the fight. Ms. Prostakova calls her son “my consolation” and sends him off to frolic.

PHENOMENA V
Prostakova and Skotinin talk about Sophia. Skotinin suggests: it would not be a sin for her to find out about the conspiracy. Prostakova replies that there is nothing to report to her. And she remembers how well she treats the orphan. Prostakov clarifies that together with Sophia we undertook to supervise her village. His wife abruptly cuts him off. Skotinin can’t wait to get married in order to unite the lands and raise pigs, which he has a “mortal desire” for. Prostakova claims that Mitrofan is just like his uncle and also loves pigs.

SCENE VI
Sophia enters with a letter, but neither Skotinin nor Prostakova can read it and boast that there have never been literate people in their family.

SCENE VII
Pravdin enters, Prostakova asks him to read the letter, but Pravdin first asks Sophia’s permission, explaining that he does not read other people’s letters. From the letter it turns out that Sophia is “the heir to an income of ten thousand.” Skotinin and Prostakova are stunned. Prostakova rushes to hug Sophia. Skotinin understands that his agreement will no longer exist.

SCENE VIII
The servant announces to Prostakov that soldiers and an officer have entered the village. Prostakova is frightened, but her husband reassures her that the officer will not allow the soldiers to become disorderly.

ACT TWO

ACT ONE
Milon unexpectedly meets with his old friend Pravdin and says that he is hastily going to Moscow, grieving that he does not know anything about his beloved, who may be subjected to cruelty. To which Pravdin says that in this family cruel wife and a stupid husband. He, Pravdin, hopes to put an end to “the anger of the wife and the stupidity of the husband.” Milo is pleased that his friend has the authority to do this. Sophia enters.

He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.
Milon is happy from meeting his beloved, and Sophia complains about the oppression that she had to endure in the Prostakovs’ house. Sophia is surprised by Prostakova’s change in attitude towards her today. Milon is jealous, but Sophia describes Mitrofan’s stupidity, and Milon calms down. Sophia is sure that her fate is in the hands of her uncle, who will arrive soon. Skotinin appears.

SCENE III
Skotinin complains that his sister, who called him from the estate to negotiate, abruptly changed her intentions. He tells Sophia that no one will take her away from him. Milo is outraged by such insolence. Skotinin threatens to take revenge on Mitrofan, who crosses his path.

SCENE IV
Eremeevna persuades Mitrofan to study, and he calls her “an old bastard.” Skotinin enters and threatens Mitrofan with violence. Eremeevna rushes to protect her pet. Skotinin retreats.

PHENOMENA V
Prostakova curries favor with Milon and Sophia, says that she can’t wait to see her uncle, and then begins to tell how she loves Mitrofan and takes care of him, just to bring him into the public eye. Teachers appear, God knows what kind, but they are cheap to pay. Tsyfirkin complains that for the third year he cannot teach Mitrofan how to operate with fractions. Pravdin and Milon are convinced that the teachers are useless and leave so as not to interfere with Mitrofan’s classes.

SCENE VI
Prostakova asks Mitrofan to repeat what he has learned with the teachers. And her son complains to her about his uncle, who almost killed him. Prostakova attacked Eremeevna, asking why she didn’t stand up for the “child.” Then she tells the mother to feed the teachers and continue teaching. As they leave, the teachers complain about their unfortunate lot.

ACT THREE

ACT ONE
Pravdin and Starodum, talking, recall the era of Peter the Great, when people were valued by their intelligence, and not by rank and wealth. They talk about the merits of traditional education, when they educated not only the mind, but also the soul. Starodum tells the story of when he met Not worthy person, but didn’t recognize it right away. Starodum served his fatherland, fought and received wounds, but learned that the young man, thanks to his father’s closeness to the court, had surpassed him in service, without showing the slightest zeal for business, then Starodum left public service, resigned. Once at the court, Starodum was surprised that no one there walked along a straight road, but everyone took detours, just to get around each other. He didn’t like all this and chose to leave. Having received neither ranks nor villages, he retained “soul, honor and rules.” Starodum pronounces a verdict on the reigning house: “It is in vain to call a doctor to the sick without healing. The doctor won’t help here, unless he gets infected himself.”

SCENE II Starodum and Sophia meet joyfully and cordially. Sophia says that she was very worried about where he disappeared for so many years. Starodum reassures her that he made enough money in Siberia to marry her off well. Sophia expresses her respect and gratitude to him. They hear a terrible noise.

SCENE III Milon separates the fighting Prostakova and Skotinin. Skotinin is pretty shabby. If it weren't for Milo, things would have gone very badly for him. Sophia points Milon to Starodum with her eyes, Milon understands her.

SCENE IV Prostakova scolds Eremeevna that she doesn’t see anyone from the servants except her. Eremeevna says that Palashka is sick and is raving “like a noble woman.” Prostakova is surprised. She orders her husband and son to be called to introduce them to Uncle Sophia.

SCENE V Starodum, barely escaping Prostakova’s embrace, immediately ends up with Skotinin. Then he meets Milo. And Mitrofan and Prostakov grab him by the hands. Mitrofan intends to kiss Starodum’s hand and fawns over him under his mother’s dictation. Prostakova tells Starodum that she has never quarreled with anyone, because... quiet disposition. Starodum sarcastically replies that he managed to notice this. Pravdin adds that he has been watching the battles for three days. Starodum says that he is not a fan of such spectacles, so tomorrow he will leave with Sophia for Moscow. Prostakova literally cries that she will not survive Sophia’s departure. Starodum says that he is going to marry Sophia to a worthy man. Prostakova remembers her parents, who had 18 children, but only two survived: she and her brother. Her father always said that he would curse his son if he studied. And now the century is different, so she teaches her son something. Prostakova boasts about Mitrofan and wants Starodum to appreciate his successes. Starodum refuses, saying that he is a bad judge in this matter.

SCENE VI Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin are indignant that they have to wait a long time for their student every time. Kuteikin sympathizes with the local servants, saying that he is a service man, has been in battles, but here it is worse. Tsyfirkin regrets that it is impossible to properly punish Mitrofan for stupidity and laziness.

SCENE VII Mitrofan agrees to study for the sake of his mother last time, but so that there would be an agreement today: “I don’t want to study, but I want to get married.” Mitrofan repeats what he has learned with his teachers, but cannot decide simplest task. The mother constantly interferes, teaches her son not to share with anyone, but there is no need to know geography, that’s why there are cab drivers.

SCENE VIII Teacher Vralman speaks with a strong foreign accent, you can barely understand him. He is sure that a child should not be stuffed with science, as long as he is healthy. He scolds Russian teachers who are ruining Mitrofanushka’s health. Prostakova completely agrees with him. She leaves to look after her son so that he does not accidentally anger Starodum. SCENE IX Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin attack Vralman, who runs away so that his sides are not crushed.

ACT FOUR

ACT ONE
Sophia reads a book and waits for her uncle.

He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.
Starodum sees Sophia's book and says that the author of Telemak cannot write a bad book. He believes that Sophia is reading an excellent book. They talk about good and bad people. Sophia assures that happiness is nobility and wealth. Starodum agrees with her, saying that he has his own calculations. He values nobility by the number of deeds a person has accomplished for the benefit of the Fatherland, and he sees wealth not in accumulating money in chests, but in giving the excess to those in need. Sophia agrees with him. Starodum talks about man in general. He talks about a family in which the husband and wife hate each other - this is a misfortune for them and those around them, the children in such a family are abandoned and the most unfortunate creatures. And all because people do not consult their hearts. Sophia is happy that she has such a wise mentor.

SCENE III
The valet brings a letter to Starodum. Sophia goes to get glasses for her uncle.

SCENE IV
Starodum thinks about Milo. He wants to marry Sophia to him.

PHENOMENA V
Sophia confesses her love for Milon to Starodum.

SCENE VI
Pravdin introduces Milon to the Starodum. Sophia says that her mother loved him like own son. Milon expresses his views on service and man, which are close to the views of Starodum. Milo shows himself to be an educated and sensible young man. Starodum likes him, and he blesses Sophia and Milon for marriage.

SCENE VII
Skotinin appears and asks to bless him and Sophia. He shows himself to be an absolute fool. Starodum laughs.

SCENE VIII
Ms. Prostakova wonders if anyone prevented Starodum from resting; she forced everyone to walk on tiptoe so as not to disturb such a dear guest. Prostakova again asks Starodum to examine Mitrofan. Mitrofan shows absolute ignorance of basic things. The mother, defending her son, says that people have lived for a century without science, and he will live well.

SCENE IX
Prostakova wonders whether Starodum recognized her son. He replies that he got to know both of them very well. To Mitrofan's question, he replies that Sophia should not come after him, she has already arranged for someone else. Prostakova runs around the room in anger and makes plans: to kidnap Sophia at six in the morning, before she leaves with her uncle.

ACT FIVE

ACT ONE
Pravdin and Starodum are talking about how to put an end to Prostakova’s evil behavior. Pravdin was instructed to take custody of the estate. Pravdin and Starodum talk about the virtues of the king, who is entrusted with the lives of his subjects, and how great of a soul he must be. Further, they move on to a discussion about nobles, “who must be well-behaved.”

He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.
Milon, with a sword in his hands, fights Sophia off from Eremeevna and Prostakova’s people, who forcibly dragged the girl into the carriage and wanted to take her to church to marry Mitrofan.

SCENE III
Pravdin is sure that this crime gives his uncle and fiance a reason to turn to the government to punish the criminals. Prostakova is on her knees begging for mercy.

SCENE IV
But Starodum and Milon refuse to complain about the Prostakovs, who are pathetic and disgusting in their humiliation. Skotinin does not understand anything about what is happening. Prostakova gets up from her knees when she realizes that she has been forgiven, and is immediately going to inflict reprisals on her people who “let Sophia out of their hands.” She says that she is free to flog everyone if she wants. Here Pravdin takes out a paper about guardianship of the estate. Skotinin, fearing that they will get to him, prefers to leave.

PHENOMENA V
Prostakova asks Pravdin to pardon or give a reprieve, at least for three days. He doesn't give me even three hours.

SCENE VI
Starodum recognizes Vralman as his former coachman. Kuteikin demands money for his work, and Prostakova says that he did not teach Mitrofan anything. He objects that it is not his fault. Tsyfirkin refuses money because... for three years Mitrofan did not learn anything worthwhile. Pravdin shames Kuteikin and rewards Tsyfirkin for kind soul. Milo also gives him money. Vralman asks Starodum to be a coachman.

SCENE VII
Starodum's carriage has arrived, and Vralman is ready to take the place of coachman: Starodum takes him into his service.

THE LAST PHENOMENON
Starodum, Sophia, Milon say goodbye to Pravdin. Prostakova rushes to Mitrofan, her last hope, and Mitrofan replies: “Let go, mother, how you imposed yourself...” Prostakova is killed by “the betrayal of her son.” Even Sophia rushes to console her. Pravdin decides to put Mitrofan into service. Starodum says, pointing to Prostakova: “These are the worthy fruits of evil.”

Option summary Fonvizin's comedy "Minor" 1

Village of landowners Prostakovs. Mrs. Prostakova is angry: the serf tailor Trishka, she believes, sewed a caftan that was too narrow for her beloved son, the sixteen-year-old teenager Mitrofanushka. Trishka makes an excuse by saying that he did not study tailoring, but the lady does not want to listen to anything. Her husband, Prostakov, a narrow-minded man who is obedient to his wife, expresses the opinion that the caftan is baggy. And Taras Skotinin, Prostakova’s brother, thinks that the caftan is “pretty well sewn.”

The caftan itself is a new thing for Mitrofanushka for Skotinin’s conspiracy with Sofia, a distant relative of the Prostakovs. Sophia's father died when she was still a baby. The girl grew up with her mother in Moscow. But six months have already passed since she was left an orphan. The Prostakovs took her in to “supervise her estate as if it were their own.” Sophia's uncle, Starodum, left for Siberia. For a long time there was no news about him, and the Prostakovs believe that he died long ago.

Skotinin wants to marry Sophia - not because he likes the girl, not because he wants to take over her villages, but because in these villages there are a lot of... pigs, and he is a big hunter of them. And Sophia still doesn’t know who they predict to be her husband.

Sophia receives a letter from Starodum. Mrs. Prostakova, hearing about this, is extremely irritated: her hopes did not come true, her uncle turned out to be alive. Prostakova accuses Sophia of lying: the letter, they say, is amorous. But she cannot verify the statement, because she is illiterate. Her husband and brother are not much of a reader either. Guest Pravdin helps them out. He reads a letter in which Starodum notifies his niece that he makes her the heiress of his fortune, acquired by him in Siberia, which gives an income of ten thousand a year. Mrs. Prostakova is amazed by this news. She "has new idea: to marry Sophia to his son, the ignorant Mitrofan.

Soldiers pass through the Prostakov village. They are led by Officer Milon. Here he meets his old friend, Pravdiv. He says that he is a member of the vicegerental board. Pravdin travels around the district and especially pays attention to the “malicious ignoramuses” who mistreat their people. It was precisely such ignoramuses that he found in the Prostakovs.

Milon says that he is in love and has been separated from his beloved for more than six months. Recently he learned that his beloved was left an orphan and some distant relatives took her to their villages... At the moment when Milon talks about this, he suddenly sees his beloved - this is Sophia.

The lovers are happy to meet. But Sophia says that Mrs. Prostakova wants to marry her to Mitrofanushka. Milo is tormented by jealousy. True, it weakens when he learns more about his “rival”.

Skotinin passing by unceremoniously declares his views on Sophia. Pravdin tells him about Mrs. Prostakova’s plans. Skotinin is furious. He catches the eye of Mitrofan, who is being taken to study by his nanny Eremeevna. The uncle wants to explain himself to his nephew and was about to attack him with his fists. But Eremeevna shields Mitrofanushka and drives Skotinin away.

Mitrofanushka's teachers arrive: Sidorich - Kuteikin and Pafnutich - Tsyfirkin. Kuteikin, a deacon from the Intercession, who did not study at the seminary, teaches Mitrofan to read and write in the Book of Hours and the Psalter. And Tsyfirkin, a retired sergeant, is an arithmetic teacher.

Mitrofan refuses to study. He complains to his mother that after his uncle’s “task,” studying doesn’t come to his mind. Eremeevna talks about the collision with Skotinin. Prostakova consoles her son and promises to marry him soon. She orders the teachers to be fed lunch and sent back again. The lady is dissatisfied with Eremeevna: she “didn’t dig into Skotinin’s mug” and “didn’t tear his snout over the ears.” Prostakova is going to “conversate” with her brother in her own way. Zealous Eremeevna cries from resentment. The teachers console her.

Starodum arrives. Before appearing to the owners, he talks with an old acquaintance, Truthful. Starodum remembers his father, who served Peter the Great, and praises those times. Starodum came to free his niece from “ignoramuses without a soul.” He was forced to leave government service. When Starodum was still serving in the military, he became friends with the young count. Upon the declaration of war, Starodum hurried to the army, but the count avoided this. And soon after this, the count was promoted to rank, and Starodum, wounded in the war, was bypassed. After retiring, Starodum came to St. Petersburg to the court. But later he decided that “it is better to lead life at home than in someone else’s hallway.”

Starodum meets with Sophia and promises to take his niece away from the Prostakovs. The conversation is interrupted by the appearance of Prostakova and Skotinin. Sister and brother fight, and Milon separates them. The old man is amused by this scene. Mrs. Prostakova is annoyed by the stranger’s amusement, but upon learning that it is Starodum, she changes her tone to the most servile and obsequious one. She wants to flatter a rich relative and thereby contribute to the marriage of Mitrofanushka to Sophia.

But Starodum promises to take Sophia to Moscow the very next morning in order to marry her off to a certain “ young man great merits." This news plunges everyone into despondency, and Sophia “seems amazed.” Then Starodum tells her that the choice of a worthy groom is entirely in her will. This gives everyone hope again. Mrs. Prostakova boasts to Starodum about Mitrofanushka’s education. She is especially pleased with the German Adam Adamych Vralman, whom she hired for five years. She pays him three hundred rubles a year (other teachers - ten). Vralman teaches Mitrofan “French and all sciences.” But the main thing is that he “does not captivate the child.”

Meanwhile, Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin are sad that the teaching is not going very well. Mitrofan has been studying arithmetic for three years, but “he can’t count three.” He has been studying literacy for four years, and still “can’t understand a new line.” And the whole trouble is that Vralman indulges the lazy student and interferes with his studies.

Mrs. Prostakova persuades her son to study. He demands that there be an agreement as soon as possible: “I don’t want to study, I want to get married.” Tsyfirkin gives Mitrofan two tasks. But the mother intervenes and does not allow them to be solved. In general, arithmetic seems to her to be an empty science: “There is no money - what to count? There is money - we’ll figure it out well without Pafnutich.” Tsyfirkin has to finish the lesson. Kuteikin takes his place. Mitrofan senselessly repeats after him lines from the Book of Hours. Then Vralman appears. He explains to Mrs. Prostakova that filling your head too much is very dangerous. Vralman believes that it is possible to do without Russian literacy and arithmetic. Mitrofanushka, he says, only needs to know how to live in the light. Vralman lets Mitrofan go to frolic.

Tsyfirkin and Kuteikin want to beat Vralman. The retired sergeant swings a board, and the sexton swings the Book of Hours, but the German manages to escape.

Sophia is reading Fenelon's book about raising girls. Starodum talks with her about virtue. He receives a letter from Count Chestan. This is Milon's uncle, who wants to marry his nephew to Sophia. Talking to Sophia about her marriage, Starodum again notices that she is embarrassed... Then Pravdin and Milon appear. Pravdin introduces Milon to Starodum. It turns out that Milon often visited Sophia’s mother’s house in Moscow, and she loved him like a son. Starodum, talking with Milo, becomes convinced that he is dealing with a worthy person. Milon asks for Sophia's hand, mentioning his “mutual inclination” with the girl. Starodum is happy to learn that Sophia has chosen exactly the one whom he himself predicts as her husband. He agrees to this marriage.

But other contenders for Sophia’s hand know nothing and do not give up their hopes. Skotinin begins to talk about the antiquity of his family. Starodum jokingly pretends to agree with him on everything. Mrs. Prostakova invites Starodum to see how Mitrofanushka is trained. Sophia’s uncle pretends to be delighted with Mitrofanushka’s learning. However, he refuses both Skotinin and Mitrofanushka, saying that Sophia has already been agreed. He announces that he will leave with Sophia at seven in the morning. But Mrs. Prostakova decides that before that time she will have time to “put her foot down.” She places “sentinels” around the house.

Pravdin receives the package; he is ordered to take custody of the Prostakovs’ house and villages at the first occasion when Prostakova’s temper threatens the safety of the people under her control. Pravdin tells Starodum about this. Their conversation is interrupted by noise...

Prostakova's people drag the resisting Sophia to the carriage to marry Mitrofanushka. Milo, who caught this scene, frees the bride. Pravdin threatens that Prostakova will appear in court as a “disturber of civil peace.” Mrs. Prostakova violently repents of her actions. Starodum and Sophia forgive her. Prostakova is glad to be forgiven: now she will take revenge on her servants for the failure that occurred! But she fails to do this: Pravdin announces that, by government decree, he is taking custody of the Prostakovs’ house and villages.

Skotinin, in good health, leaves for his place, to his beloved barns. Mrs. Prostakova asks Pravdiv to give her power for at least three days. But he doesn’t agree. He calls the teachers to settle accounts with them. Eremeevna brings Kuteikin, Tsyfirkin and Vralman. Pravdin lets them go home. Kuteikin demands that he be paid for his studies, for his worn-out boots... But Tsyfirkin refuses payment, because Mitrofanushka has not learned anything. For such generosity, Starodum, Milon and Pravdin give him money. And Pravdin offers Kuteikin to settle accounts with the lady herself. He exclaims in horror: “I am giving up everything.” In Vralman, Starodum recognizes his former coachman. It turns out that Vralman could not find a position as a coachman anywhere and he had to become a teacher. Starodum agrees to take him on as a coachman again.

Starodum, Sophia and Milon are getting ready to leave. Prostakova hugs Mitrofanushka: “You’re the only one left with me...” But her son is rude to her. The mother faints. Pravdin decides to send Mitrofan to serve. Having woken up, Mrs. Prostakova laments: “I am completely lost...” And Starodum, pointing at her, says: “These are the fruits of evil!”

Denis Ivanovich Fonvizin

End of the first act

Minor

Characters

Prostakov.

Ms. Prostakova, his wife.

Mitrofan, their son, a minor.

Eremeevna, Mitrofanova's mother.

Pravdin.

Starodum.

Sophia, Starodum's niece.

Milo.

Skotinin, brother of Mrs. Prostakova.

Kuteikin, seminarian.

Tsyfirkin, retired sergeant.

Vralman, teacher.

Trishka, tailor.

Pravdin, Prostakov, Skotinin, servant. Prostakova.

Valet Starodum.

Action in the village of Prostakovs.

Act one

Phenomenon I

Mrs. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Eremeevna.

Ms. Prostakova (examining the caftan on Mitrofan). The caftan is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring the swindler Trishka here. The caftan is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring the swindler Trishka here. He, the thief, burdened him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I'm guessing you're dying. Call your father here.

Mitrofan leaves.

Phenomenon II

Mrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka.

Ms. Prostakova (Trishka). And you, brute, come closer. Didn’t I tell you, you thieving mug, that you should make your caftan wider? The first child grows; another, a child and without a narrow caftan of delicate build. Tell me, idiot, what is your excuse?

Trishka. But, madam, I was self-taught. I reported to you at the same time: well, if you please, give it to the tailor.

Mrs. Prostakova. So is it really necessary to be a tailor to be able to sew a caftan well? What bestial reasoning!

Trishka. Yes, I studied to be a tailor, madam, but I didn’t.

Mrs. Prostakova. While searching, he argues. A tailor learned from another, another from a third, but who did the first tailor learn from? Speak up, beast.

Trishka. Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine.

Mitrofan (runs in). I called my father. I deigned to say: immediately.

Mrs. Prostakova. So go and get him out if you don’t get the good stuff.

Mitrofan. Yes, here comes the father.

Scene III

Same with Prostakov.

Prostakov (stammering out of timidity). Me... a little baggy.

Mrs. Prostakova. You yourself are baggy, smart head.

Prostakov. Yes, I thought, mother, that it seemed so to you.

Mrs. Prostakova. Are you blind yourself?

Prostakov. With your eyes, mine see nothing.

Mrs. Prostakova. This is the kind of hubby the Lord gave me: he doesn’t know how to figure out what’s wide and what’s narrow.

Prostakov. In this, mother, I believed and believe you.

Mrs. Prostakova. So believe also that I do not intend to indulge the slaves. Go, sir, and punish now...

Phenomenon IV

Same with Skotinin.

Mrs. Prostakova. Well, brother, I’ll go crazy on your eyes. Mitrofanushka, come here. Is this caftan baggy?

Skotinin. No.

Prostakov. Yes, I can already see, mother, that it is narrow.

Skotinin. I don't see that either. The caftan, brother, is well made.

Ms. Prostakova (Trishka). Get out, you bastard. (Eremeevna.) Go ahead, Eremeevna, give the child breakfast. Vit, I’m having tea, the teachers will come soon.