Why aren't you married yet? How to answer "uncomfortable" questions

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Each of us had to answer tactless questions. Sometimes it makes you angry, sometimes it makes you happy. Often people don't even realize that they are putting someone in an awkward position, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with such situations.

website I collected the most awkward questions that each of us has heard at least once, and found answers to them, seasoned with a dose of humor.

1. How much does your apartment cost?

When it comes to money, any harmless questions can turn out to be insensitive. But as soon as you get your own home, every second person wants to know how much you paid for the apartment, invested in the construction of the house, or how much the renovation cost.

It’s up to you to say the real price or not, but you can always take the topic in a different direction.

Answers:

• Now there is a place to live, but nothing to do with it.
• It’s too early to say whether there are still so many years to pay for it.

2. When will you get married? It is high time

There are many jokes about how as soon as a girl meets a guy, she immediately begins to “try on” his last name and choose names for their children. But often things look different: as soon as you start dating someone, everyone around you is asking questions about the wedding. Few people are interested in the fact that you are not ready yet, that you are already fine, or that you do not plan to tie the knot at all.

Answers:

• Today we set the alarm early to get to the registry office in time, but it’s a shame that we overslept. But tomorrow - definitely!
• When are you going? At what age did you get married?
• When do you want to get us married?

3. How much do you get paid?

People may be interested in earnings based on various reasons: out of pure curiosity, worried about you or, for example, jealous. But any of dozens of such reasons does not oblige you to give a full financial report.

Answers:

• I have enough to live on!
• Ninety thousand Taiwan dollars!
• I receive average salary by industry (but significantly less than Bill Gates).

4. Why don't you have children? Time is ticking

The appearance of a baby in a family is a purely personal matter, but this never stops anyone. Questions about children begin to be asked even before the wedding, reinforced by the assurances “without a child, this is not a family,” “the time has long come,” and “how can you not want children at all.”

Answers:

• In May! 2025.
• We’ve already started it, we just don’t tell anyone about it.
• Why do you want to know this?

5. How old are you?

6. Did something happen to you? You're sad

Of course, if a person close to you asks this question, then most likely he is just worried. But sometimes we don’t want to talk about our problems even to our family, and asking questions only makes the situation worse. Try to smile when answering this question to dispel all doubts with one look.

Answers:

• I just thought about the meaning of life!
• I’m a little tired, but that’s okay - I’ll sleep and shine again.

Answers:

• Still haven't met my destiny.
• How did you understand that it was “he”?
• At first I decided to have a child, suddenly for the second I would want a different dad!
• I will get married as soon as the divorce proceedings are over.

In any case, you always have the right to directly say that you do not want to discuss a particular topic, and avoid crumpled and unpleasant answers to tactless questions.

I didn’t get married for a long time, and I was tormented by all sorts of familiar aunties and girlfriends and others interested in their personal lives: "Are you married?" or “Aren’t you going to get married?” . For people who are sure that every girl has dreamed of buying a wedding dress since birth, it’s easier to answer something like: “Yes, I’m already divorced, now I’m looking for a new victim. Are you married yourself? How’s your husband, handsome?” or “It’s too early for me to get married.” Option: “Scientists have proven that after marriage, people have sex less often. So I’ll take another walk” - had a very good effect on my annoying friends.

After some time I got married, I thought everyone would leave me behind, but that was not the case. A month after the wedding, everyone started pestering me with questions, am I pregnant and when am I going to . We had to laugh it off: “There are no problems, we just know that there is contraception and we know how to protect ourselves” or “We are still rehearsing conception.”

She became pregnant, and now the curious began to be tormented by the question: am I suffering from toxicosis? . I had a desire to make an inscription on a T-shirt: “Toxicosis doesn’t bother me, but does it bother you?” And also from this series: “Is my husband glad that I got pregnant” answer: “No, she cries all day long.”

You meet an old friend somewhere on the street and always: “Hello, what’s new?” My husband usually answers: “What old things do you remember?” Or they will see me with a child: “Oh, this is yours,” I came up with: “No, I rented it from the neighbors.”

My mother-in-law comes to visit us, sees that I am still breastfeeding my one and a half year old baby, and every time she starts: “It’s time to quit, how long are you going to feed him?” She laughed it off: “Until you go to college, they say that the longer you feed, the greater the chances higher education get". She’s probably jealous of me that I’m as thin as a sliver, I’ve been breastfeeding for so long, and her plump daughter’s milk disappeared very quickly.

On the topic of weight. Since childhood I was thin and my grandmother terrorized me tips on how to get better. In her understanding, a woman should be as plump as a bun, although she herself retained the weight of Madonna until her deep gray hair. At first she simply answered: “I want to be a model,” then: “Let everyone be jealous,” and finally, she categorically refused to talk to her about this topic. It helped. Now that, due to sleepless nights at my little son’s bed, my weight has dropped to the level of the highest paid fashion models - she is silent.

Not everyone “suffers” from thinness; girls who are prone to being overweight have to fight off annoying things: “And you’ve recovered!” , I advise you to answer: “What are you talking about? There’s a crisis in the world, it’s me who’s swollen from hunger.”

Particularly curious people are still interested in the question: “How much do you earn? What about your husband? . For a long time I could not figure out how to answer such tactless questions, but in the end it turned out: “I have enough to live on with butter” - so far it worked.

Of course, it is important to understand whether a person is interested out of idle curiosity or is truly sincere. We need to look at the situation. If a friend asks, wanting to hurt or find new topic for gossip it is better to limit yourself to: "It's personal" - Let her think for herself what you wanted to say. The main thing is not to lie, by lying you will harm yourself.

A beautiful and well-designed resume is not a reason for an employer to invite you to work, and even more so when it comes to, for example, a management position. In such a serious matter, many aspects and even nuances play a role, which the employer will focus on and immediately ask about them.

And our Azerbaijani employers are no exception here. Most often, under their close attention is Family status applicant. You might think: what’s wrong with that, well, whether you’re married or married, what does it matter?!

I remembered the recent story of one of my friends. Seva Aliyeva is 29 years old. She was looking for a job and finally she was invited for an interview.

“I was at an interview, during which the employer, of course, asked if I was married. I answered that yes, I was married. He asked about the presence of children and how old they were. I asked a counter question, what does this matter? To which he replied : “Nothing in principle, it just might interfere with work in the future. This, of course, does not apply specifically to you, but, for example, if overtime and business trips are required from you, then children, especially small ones, can interfere, because they require constant care and attention, you have to constantly ask for time off, leave work early,” - Seva told.

After this interview, the company never called her back. It is possible that the reason was precisely her marital status and the presence of children.

Yes, of course, if a person is single, or it would be more correct to say “without aggravating circumstances” for the employer, this may mean that he can devote more time to work, including on holidays and weekends, stay late after work, go on endless business trips . After all, there is nowhere to rush, no one is waiting at home. And a salary increase is no longer of fundamental importance - you don’t need a lot of money for yourself...

From all of the above, the conclusion suggests itself that employers, in general, do not need professional experience? And education too? And the fact that a woman wants to work and not sit at home with children doesn’t matter either?

Some who “unsuccessfully” passed the “certification” regarding their marital status with their employer admitted that they would have been better off lying and calling themselves single. I would like these kinds of thoughts to come to mind only on rare occasions, but they are becoming more and more common.

However, exceptions also happen. There are times when married women are in demand.

This incident happened to my friend Lala. She said that when she came for the interview, she was very afraid that she might not be hired because she was married and had small children. In addition, she is 31 years old and such figures often confuse our employers. After all, pay attention, there are advertisements everywhere, especially for vacancies for secretary and office manager - up to 30 years of age.

But Lala was lucky - the employer turned out to be a supporter of hiring family employees.

“Later, when I was already in the team, I noticed that many family employees take their work more responsibly and seriously, and do not waste time on empty conversations with girlfriends or flirting,” said a friend.

I asked HR manager Nargiz Sadikhova to comment on the issue.

“It just so happens that employers create a general portrait of the applicant from leading questions, and there is no need to focus on the issue of marital status, since all this is needed to form an idea of ​​​​a possible future employee. And, as many believe, a person who married, more balanced and less prone to unexpected actions. And although one can argue with this, some employers still prefer to hire a person on staff, all other things being equal. married men as more reliable. This also applies to women.

But there are cases when the employer assumes periodic business trips. And here the marital status, primarily with regard to women, creates questions, since in our country it is somehow not customary for wives to go on business trips, especially long ones. If such a question arises, you should immediately explain to the employer that previous place you had to leave often for work, and your significant other takes such absences calmly, and you will have someone to leave the children with,” advised Sadikhova.

And here’s what I read the other day on one of the forums: “I only need women, they are more reliable workers. But not older than 40 years. After 40, people become inert, and I need energetic and stress-resistant people who have a desire to learn and a willingness to work in young team. If you're not married, that's also bad. This means that she is not serious, and the employee from her is the same. Appearance matters too...

In my opinion, the requirements are too exaggerated. Many questions come to mind, one of which is “did you yourself meet all these requirements when you got the job?”

As they say, at 22-27 years old people get hired easily and quickly, at 27-35 they will hire you if they have it good experience and achievements, and after 35 - they will think well.

“How much do you earn?”, “When will you get married?”, “Why are you still without children?”...

“How much do you earn?”, “When will you get married?”, “Why are you still without children?” - you have encountered these and other questions more than once in your life. How should you respond to them?

I know people who deliberately avoid large family dinners, gatherings with relatives, or social gatherings just to avoid hearing these provocative questions. Excessive curiosity hurts and irritates precisely because the other person invades your personal space with his question. It doesn’t matter whether it’s acquaintances, distant relatives or your own parents, but if the question itself causes you confusion and discomfort, then the other person has entered territory where he does not belong. And that means you have every right to protect your borders.

Before learning how to easily parry tactless questions, let's think about why a person does this? Excessive curiosity can be a signal that the interlocutor has anxiety, internal conflict on a “sick” topic.

For example, too obvious an interest in the income of others can hide both envy and a search for solutions on how to make better money. If I'm in a difficult financial situation right now, I see money, spending, etc. everywhere. I worry so much about the future that I transfer my anxiety, dissatisfaction, envy onto others in the form of tactless remarks, etc. (from the series “our people don’t take a taxi to the bakery!”).

Another example: a super-caring mother is worried that her daughter will not arrange her life. personal life, will not give her grandchildren. Therefore, at every opportunity, she wonders when her beloved daughter will get married. In my opinion, her worries are not so much about her daughter, but about herself. For example, she herself started a family early out of fear of being left alone, not needed by anyone. And now, watching how her daughter at her age is not in a hurry and enjoys her life, she is faced with her doubts: “Did I do the right thing then? Maybe if I hadn’t been in a hurry, everything would have turned out differently?”

What I want to draw your attention to in these examples is that a person, being interested in something that does not concern him at all, actually demonstrates his vulnerability, unresolvedness in the topic of relationships, money, motherhood, etc. That is why his questions are so straightforward and tactless. How to react to them?

How to easily answer “uncomfortable” questions

The easiest option, in my opinion, is to openly ask “Why are you asking me this?” This way you make it clear to your interlocutor that you do not consider it necessary to answer right away, and, at the same time, turn the conversation towards him.

“I don’t consider it necessary to answer your question” is also an option to limit the interest of another person. The calmer and more confident you are, the faster unnecessary curiosity will fade away.

Tell the truth. This could be an honest and short answer, “I don’t know.” You really can’t know exactly when you will become a wife or mother. And in the same way, depending on who is asking the question, you can openly answer the question. For example, to the question “When will you become a mother?” You can honestly answer “Now I have other priorities in life. My career is more important to me now.” Sincerity combined with confidence will surprise the tactless interlocutor and put him in his place. Again, the degree of your openness is determined by you.

Mirror your interlocutor, ask him his own question or another “uncomfortable” one: “When did you..? How much do you earn?” . By returning the faux pas, you are protecting your space and letting the other person know what it's like to be under such scrutiny.

Use jokes: “When will you get married?” -“You will be the first to receive an invitation to the wedding”; “Why have you gained so much weight? “I didn’t want to look pale compared to you.” Humor will help relieve tension in a conversation, avoid answering and show the absurdity of the question for the interlocutor.

As you can see, there are different ways to get out of an awkward situation. And whether they work or not depends on how painful the topic that others are so interested in is for you. If you are seriously suffering from the fact that you are still not married or do not earn as much as you would like, any comment on this subject will be perceived by you as “salt in the wound”. No matter how skillfully you respond, how confident or vulnerable you are will make all the difference.

Inconvenient questions confuse us, irritate us, and even can ruin our mood for a long time. Tactlessness hurts, among other things, because the questioner not only interferes in our personal life, but also at the same time evaluates and compares with public standards. Is it possible to avoid such questions? I think what's more important is how you answer them for yourself. No matter how strangers try to stick their nose into your life, they definitely won’t succeed from the moment your choice, your priorities in life take more place than the opinions of others.

What's the first thing you ask a friend you haven't seen in ages? Right! "You got married?" I hate this question! I’m tired of explaining to everyone I meet why, at 27 years old, no one has yet needed me for eternal use.

It would seem that it’s really time for me to get married, but I’m still a girl, which incredibly irritates those around me. Unlike me, they just can't come to terms with it. Recently there was a wedding in our entrance, and the courtyard gossips rushed to me shouting: “Oh, we thought it was you getting married!” Translated into human terms, this meant: “When will you, poor thing, fool some deaf-blind-mute?”

One can understand such curious people, because the statistics are on their side: the average marriageable age for St. Petersburg women is 23 years. I am almost a full five years behind this life schedule. How can compassionate gossips not worry? I am already silent about the average marriageable age of girls who marry abroad - 19.5 years. I will definitely never keep up with these! What does this mean? Was it necessary to start looking for a husband as soon as adolescence began?

I remember how at the age of 14 I staged a grandiose hoax. We were friends with Oksanka then, we were friends and friends, but one day we couldn’t share a guy.

The girlfriend reveled in her victory on the love front, because the handsome guy chose her, not me. It's a shame? Certainly! And so I meet Oksanka near the clinic and begin to weave something that you only see in tearful TV series. Allegedly, my parents want to marry me off (at the age of 14!), a rich and handsome groom has been found, he is showering me with gifts, but I am still resisting, but I feel that I will soon give in. Oksana listened, her eyes bulging and greedily swallowing my every word. I was jealous.

I almost believed this story myself. The goal was achieved: my friend no longer thought that I was worried about that guy, and she lagged behind for a long time with unnecessary questions.

If Oksanka knew that 13 years later I am still not married! The goals were different. First, finish school with a medal, then go to university, graduate with honors, and then find a decent job, earn money for an apartment, a car, and travel. But who knows what else a young, beautiful, active girl could want?
Not everyone manages to find time for the prince in their busy life schedule. And not every prince will approach such a purposeful careerist.

Most suitors prefer to ring uncomplaining bitches who will humbly sit in the kitchen and wipe the noses of their joint children.

There have, of course, been hunters for my hand over the past 27 years, but so far everyone has missed. One is too jealous, the other is too soft, the third is pathologically unfaithful.
And if only I had such an assortment, I would probably agree that I am too picky. But my friends have the same problem. Fortunately, we all stand firmly on our feet so as not to throw ourselves on the neck of the first person we meet.

We have the opportunity to choose and wait. And the ability to easily get rid of unceremonious questions from others comes with age. And it improves every year!
One of my friends, tired of the annoying question about marriage, jumped out to marry a guy she met on a dating site. We were also surprised why she didn’t have a lavish wedding - after all, getting married for the first time at 29 years old is worth a lot! The answer quickly became obvious: without living with her husband for even a month, her friend filed for divorce. She only needed the stamp in her passport so that those around her would leave her alone.

After consulting with the girls, we decided that this was not the best best example to follow, and decided to come up with their own ways to appease the curious.

Having scoured the Internet, we found an ironclad argument in our favor - the average age of marriage for women in some countries of the world.

According to statistics, Swedish women get married later than anyone else - at 30.4 years. Honestly, I immediately wanted to go to Stockholm for permanent residence! It would be possible to live for three more years without the annoying questions “Why don’t you get married?” But at heart I’m a patriot, so I stay in St. Petersburg and answer everyone who is curious: “I’m not getting married because I want to raise Russia to the European level.”

But what should those who have spent too much time in girls do, even according to Swedish standards? Fight back to the last and under no circumstances agree with the opinions of others! After all folk wisdom says: “If a girl decides that it’s time for her to get married, then it’s actually too late for her.”

Five ways to answer the question “Why are you not married yet?”

1. “Oh, what are you talking about, it’s still too early for me!”
To confirm your words, immediately tell us about the oldest bride in the world. This title is held by 102-year-old Minnie Munro, who married 83-year-old Dudley Reid on May 31, 1991 in Point Clare, New South Wales, Australia. So you have at least a few more decades left!

2. “Let’s think logically...”
If you wish, list the advantages of late marriage. For example, already solved housing problem and a solid wedding budget. When you are ready for marriage, financial side events will worry you less than young and penniless brides and grooms.

3. “Remind me, does your ex pay child support?”
It is clear that this argument only applies to divorced friends with children. But for sure! The conversation can end as unexpectedly as it began.

4. “No one will hire me.”
And then continue the joke: “But I’ve already posted my profile on all dating sites in the “Looking for a millionaire” section and now I’m waiting for letters.” Your friend has no idea that you told the truth!

5. “Now is not a good time because...”
There are many options: May is coming (I don’t want to suffer all my life), Lent is underway (the church does not approve of such marriages). With a broad outlook, you can come up with an “iron” excuse for any time of year.

By the way
25 years for men and 23 years for women - average age getting married in Russia.
50% of girls getting married for the first time are pregnant.
Married men are more likely to hold higher positions at work than unmarried men. Married women earn about 4-5% more than their single counterparts.

The chances of divorce are reduced by 50% if the family has existed for 7 years.

DATA

When is it customary to get married (country - average age of women getting married)
Sweden - 30.4
France - 29.1
Spain - 29.1
Australia - 28.6
Finland - 28.3
Germany - 28.2
Austria - 27.9
UK - 27.7
Canada - 27.4
Japan - 27.3
Italy - 27.1
Belgium - 26.6
USA - 25.0
Russia - 23

VERBATIM

Anna (27): “To say that I am pestered with questions about marriage means to say nothing. They've already eaten a hole in my head! My father periodically grumbles that she is too picky and that her requests are overwhelming. The godfather and cousins ​​pester me the most: “When are we going to drink vodka at the wedding?” I usually answer: “Let me just buy you a case of vodka.” But then they say: “We’re not drunks - we can’t do it without a reason.” I had to say that I was getting married in 2008. Now everyone is waiting tensely and trying to find out who he is - my hero.”

Evgeniya (29): “What bothers me most is distant acquaintances. Even if you pass by, if we meet on the street, they will definitely ask you a sacred question! And, as a rule, men. Apparently, this gives them malicious pleasure: “Aha, another one got caught!” I’m not the only one unlucky!“ At work, some people also ask, “When are we going to get you drunk?” You have to laugh it off rudely, from the series: “What did I do wrong to you?” You’ve been restrained, so at least let me run!’ This makes them very angry and helps me get out of an uncomfortable situation with honor.”

Svetlana (31): “There are men who, looking for suitors, ask why I am still not married. I answer that they don’t take it. This is usually followed by surprise: “Why? After all, she’s like that...” And they dump out a list of my merits onto three sheets. Now it's my turn. I pretend to be serious and say: “Well, marry me!” This is a low blow, but sometimes it can be useful. And if they agree, then I have to retreat.” Elena

Elena (26): “It’s an incredible coincidence, but three of my boyfriends were fond of palmistry. In my arms they saw two upcoming marriages. None of the young men wanted to be my first husband. But I believe that a civil relationship can also be called a marriage if it lasts more than a year and have emotional overtones. And you can get married at least every month.” According to materials.