Etiquette suggests that well-mannered person not only elegantly handles a knife and fork, but also does it without any effort, since his main focus is on his interlocutors, and not on fighting the steak.
The ability to elegantly handle cutlery has always distinguished well-mannered people, and even though today the requirements for dining etiquette have become much more democratic, no one has canceled the classic rules of behavior at the table. Everything that our mother taught us - not to put our elbows on the table, to hold a knife in the right hand and a fork in the left, and not vice versa, not to push neighbors, not to slurp, and so on - these are common truths that we follow every day. But modern restaurant etiquette, with its sequence of actions and signals to the waiter, is a separate social skill that helps us gracefully get out of the most difficult gastronomic situations.
This topic is all the more interesting because these days there are two approaches to dining etiquette - American and continental. There are significant differences between them that are useful to know, especially since we traditionally follow the continental style and know little about the American one. There are several theories that explain the difference in style: some historians claim that American etiquette is the continental etiquette of the pre-Napoleonic era (and that after Napoleon it was greatly simplified, but remained unchanged in the New World), others, on the contrary, I am sure that continental etiquette, as it was formed in the 17th century, remains so, and the Americans made changes to it simply to show that they are different from the Old World.
However, in both the American and continental approaches, the sequence of actions remains the same; the only differences are in the way the cutlery is used.
Photo: mindylockard.com
step one
According to the strict rules of education adopted in best houses old and new world, cutlery should be held in a certain way. Take the fork and knife in your hands so that the top of the utensil rests on index finger, and then simply unfold your hands. It is indecent to hold instruments in your fist, although many people find this method much more convenient than the classic one.
photo: mindylockard.com Process
The use of utensils during meals differs between the two systems. Continental etiquette - “double fisted style” - involves the simultaneous use of both hands: a fork in the left hand fixes a piece of meat (or whatever is on the plate), a knife in the right hand cuts off the desired piece, then the fork is used to put the food into the mouth. In the American system - “switch & switch” - a piece of meat is fixed with a fork in the left hand, the required piece is cut off with a knife in the right hand, then the knife is put aside (on the plate on the top right, with the blade towards you), the fork is intercepted with the right hand and the food is sent to the mouth with using a fork now in your right hand. Then everything repeats all over again. Well-mannered Americans eat twice as long as Europeans, but it is assumed that this particular sequence of actions allows you to pay more attention to your interlocutor.
PAUSE SIGNAL
Signals to waiters also differ in the two systems. In the continental system of etiquette, a break in food (for example, a pause for a conversation or a glass of wine) is indicated by crossing utensils on the plate (fork with the tines down, knife with the blade towards you):
photo: mindylockard.com In the American system, the fork (teeth up) is placed in the center of the plate, and the knife is placed on the top right (with the blade facing you):
photo: mindylockard.com END SIGNAL
The end signal in the continental system of etiquette (signal to the waiter to change the dish): fork, tines down, parallel to the knife (blade toward you) in the center of the plate.
photo: mindylockard.com The end signal in the American system: a fork, tines up, parallel to the knife (blade toward you) in the center of the plate.
photo: mindylockard.com DESSERT
Dessert utensils in both systems are used in the same way: a dessert fork in the left hand, a spoon in the right. Break off a piece of dessert with a fork and put it into your mouth using a spoon in your right hand. If the table is set with only a spoon, then only it is used for both manipulations.
photo: mindylockard.com It is assumed that a well-mannered person not only handles a knife and fork elegantly, but also does it without any effort, since his main focus is on the interlocutors, and not on fighting the steak. This naturalness comes exclusively with experience, and impeccable manners are always a consequence of working on your habits.
At least that’s what Grace Kelly, the most graceful of princesses, thought.
Americans are characterized by a good mood, energy, and outward manifestations of friendliness and openness. They like an atmosphere that is not too formal business meetings, relatively quickly switch to being addressed by name, appreciate jokes and respond well to them, and are punctual.
When greeting and introducing each other, men and women usually shake hands. Mutual kissing and kissing the hand of ladies are not accepted here. Although you can often observe a cheerful pat on the back or shoulder of well-known people.
Business gifts are not accepted in the United States. Moreover, they often cause concern. Americans fear that they could be interpreted as a bribe, and this is strictly punishable by law in the United States. Americans themselves, in order to please a business partner, can invite him to a restaurant, arrange a vacation outside the city, or even at a resort - the costs in such cases are borne by the company.
Women play a major role in US business life. Often they insist that they be treated as a partner, and not as a lady. In this regard, excessive gallantry is not accepted; questions of a personal nature should be avoided (for example, you should not find out whether she is married).
During negotiations, Americans pay considerable attention to the problem to be solved. At the same time, they strive to discuss not only general approaches to the decision (what to do), but also details related to the implementation of agreements (how to do it). Americans often offer “packages of proposals” for consideration. They are also characterized by “trial balloon” techniques.
In general, Americans are known for their very high pace of business. A typical motto for them is: do not put off until tomorrow what can be done today, and success means a good pace, that is, time is literally money. During negotiations you can hear something like: “What are we waiting for? Please speed up your response to our proposal. Hurry up with your decision." Therefore, Americans are assessed as partners who are too assertive and straightforward, and as constantly in a hurry. They are always luck-oriented and believe that success always leads to more success.
Americans, when talking, can put their foot on the next chair, and even the table, or cross their legs so that the shoe of one foot is on the knee of the other. In American culture, this is considered an acceptable norm, but often causes irritation in other countries.
IN last years Americans are paying more and more attention to healthy eating and healthy image life. Smoking is not encouraged, and sometimes is simply considered indecent. In their diet, Americans, especially middle-aged and elderly people, are increasingly trying to minimize foods containing cholesterol and prefer fruits and vegetables. However, traditional American food in the form of sandwiches is also very popular.
If you are invited home, you can bring flowers or wine, and as a gift - a souvenir associated with the traditions of your country.
Norms and rules of behavior exist in every country. In the USA there are unspoken laws of good manners that those who are going to America should know.
What is customary and what is not customary to do in the states?
People who meet for the first time say to each other “Good morning (afternoon, evening)” or “How do you do”, “How are you” (“How are you, how are you”). Good friends exchange “Hello!” or "Hi!"
If the girl is not married, then she is addressed as “Miss,” and if she is married, then “Mrs.” A man is called "Mr." Sometimes you can hear "sir" and "madam".
When meeting (acquaintance) it is customary to shake hands. Moreover, this is common not only among men; women, especially in the business environment, also do this.
In the USA it is customary to leave a tip. Tipping is left almost everywhere. This is not a voluntary remuneration; there are mandatory percentages for employees different areas services.
Americans are a very friendly nation, but you should not compare the USA with any other country, especially not in favor of the USA. Americans sincerely believe that there is simply no country and cannot be better than America.
Get to know the features of American sports. American football is very different from the football you know. Also in the USA they love basketball and baseball.
Americans love to talk, but don't bring up race, discuss gender issues, or talk politics. Besides, it's best not to mention the American army. US citizens take everyone who serves or has served very seriously. Don't even joke about terrorism.
In America, small talk is common. Strangers They constantly start talking about something unimportant. Therefore, do not be surprised if a stranger approaches you and be prepared to answer him with a smile.
There are a lot of immigrants in America, so most people speak with some kind of accent. There is no need to comment on people's accents, this is a common thing for Americans.
It's no secret that there are a lot of fat people in America. But there are also many who care about health and watch their figure. It’s better not to say your opinion about fat people in the states and don’t discuss the problem of obesity at all.
In the USA, there is a reverent attitude towards personal space. Don't get too close to the person; don't violate the American's personal space. You should also not enter private property. In the United States, it is customary to shoot at those who encroach on private property.
You can't smoke almost anywhere. Americans have an extremely negative attitude towards smokers. You can smoke and drink alcohol in specially designated areas.
When Americans come to visit, they don’t take off their shoes. For Americans, it is normal to wear the same shoes both at home and on the street. Please note that it is not customary to come to visit without an invitation.
Residents of the south are especially hospitable, although less wealthy. They sometimes invite you into the house and seat you at the table completely stranger. Americans can ask quite personal questions without hesitation, be prepared for this.
Southerners are extremely religious. They attend church regularly and never miss Sunday sermons. It's better not to joke about religion if you're in the southern states.
Not only in England there are strict norms and rules of etiquette; in the United States, the unspoken laws of good manners are no less respected.
There are many different publications and Internet sites where you can get acquainted with the basics of American politeness. Etiquette has become so popular in the USA today that even specialized people can learn it. educational institutions, for example, at the Washington Institute of Etiquette. Not only adults, but also children can learn good manners.
Americans, indeed, would do well to learn generally accepted norms of etiquette, because knowledge of some well-known rules in the United States is clearly lame. Just look at the method of using a knife and fork - during a meal, Americans cut the meat into small pieces with a knife, after which they transfer the fork to right hand and start eating. This method is called the “two-year-old method.”
It is also not customary to drink tea in silence; it is best to engage in casual small talk. Over a cup of tea you can talk about upcoming events: holidays or events or plans for the summer.
In the United States, primness is not too widespread, but on the contrary, preference is given to simplicity and lack of formality. It is customary to address everyone at the table by name, regardless of age or position. One of the mandatory unspoken norms of politeness is the signature American smile. When meeting a person, be sure to adhere to three golden rules: direct, open gaze into the eyes, a wide smile and a firm handshake. By doing this, you will let your interlocutor know that you are glad to meet him and are not hiding anything. A smile is business card any American. Residents of the States even manage to swear with a smile on their faces.
In America, people are quite straightforward, so in conversations they prefer to get straight to the point, without much discussion. lyrical digressions. The same applies to phone calls– conversations “about nothing” here indicate a lack of good manners, telephone conversations are conducted exclusively on business.
Many visitors are often asked the most common question in the States: “how are you?” Most often, it is asked purely formally, so you should not describe everything that happened to you in Lately, but it will be enough to confine ourselves to a simple answer “good”. Firstly, the question is asked solely according to the rules of politeness, and secondly, in America it is not customary to complain about one’s problems, but sharing positive emotions is simply necessary here.
In the United States, there is a tradition - after visiting someone or after receiving a gift, you need to thank the hosts or the giver with a card. By the way, it is not customary to come to visit without an invitation. You must notify the hosts in advance of your intention to visit, preferably several days in advance. Also, don’t pay a visit empty-handed; you can take a bottle of wine with you as a small gift.
The concepts of “acquaintance” and “friend” do not exist here; all pleasant people in the States are immediately called friends. Americans are very curious and want to know everything about their new acquaintances, so they ask a lot of questions, including quite personal ones. By this they show their interest in the interlocutor.
In the USA, they are very attentive to a person’s personal space - you should not touch people unnecessarily, it is better not to flirt with American women - this can be regarded as harassment, and it is also not customary here to kiss ladies’ hands. Women, like men, can be greeted with a handshake. But with people you see often, you don’t need to shake hands when you meet; it will be enough to just nod your head as a greeting.
