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Finding yourself
Following on from the previous article “When there is no support.” Another important resource, but what a resource, it can be said to be the foundation of personality! This is a feeling of need. That your presence in life is important, valuable, necessary.
The child receives knowledge of his need through the behavior and attitude of his parents. If a child falls, he sees that his mother is worried. He sees that mom gets scared if he picks up a dangerous object. He feels like his mother is sad (precisely upset, not angry or annoyed) if he cries when he is in pain. When his mother likes his drawings, when his mother is delighted with his achievements: he took the first step, learned to go to the potty, drew a new squiggle, made a snowman out of plasticine, brought the first "A", etc.. What in general, his life - important, he is not indifferent.
There is no humor or self-awareness in the constant flow of money. At the core of money itself is a necessary emptiness. Money is an abstraction that must be able to turn into a concrete thing. He must do his best to detach himself from his form and be willing to accept the forms of the things he can buy.
Art that plays with money declares itself part of a conversation about values; as Graber shows us, it is this declaration that makes works of art less and less like money. Danger is something else. By engaging in provocation and criticism, by making claims in a world of values, and by embodying these criticisms and values in a particular form, works of art can become symbols of their own arguments. Once this happens, if people begin to care about them, works of art begin to transmute from arguments to treasures.
An original provocation or criticism may be buried like an irritating grain of sand, causing the oyster to smooth it into a pearl. Oh uselessness, should we leave you? Your promise to rid us of capitalism simply turns around and gives us straight to the market. The more we resist, the tighter the knot. But if uselessness is a refusal, a strike, it is also an affirmation of another scheme of value. Behind the veil of “futility” lie many of our most precious experiences: in fact, everything that is done for its own sake.
Meaning for Graber, like Marx before him, is essentially something social. It is always, in a sense, public and shared. But if we think of “value” as “what we care about,” then it is clear that there is another area of value that Graber leaves behind. This is the realm of things that we love for their own sake, things that are often socially devalued: pleasure, entertainment, leisure, hobbies, sex, conversation, learning, napping, sports, entertainment, reading, hanging. We may or may not keep these things in the public sphere of values, but in private some people at least care about them a lot.
But what to do if there is a crack in the foundation? If the feeling of need was not formed due to hypoprotection? How to deal with the feeling that the world doesn’t care whether I exist or not?
The only way is to become your own parent. Become your own mother. A caring, loving, caring, well-wishing mother. Turn to your inner child and convey to him that I NEED you!
In fact, they can be so inherently beneficial that most socialization systems are all about limiting them. These activities are used in real time rather than delayed or symbolized. These are not the values that are alchemically transformed into Graber's "things of value." Graber shows us how values and values relate to the past and the future, to ways of making decisions social meaning in time. For Marx, the work that matters is never private.
We live in a body, in experience and in time. If essential labor is the utopia of utility and social connection, then the things we do for themselves can be seen as the eden of uselessness. It is true that the avant-garde gesture has always had political motives. To provoke is to openly show your desire for change. Criticism and utopia go hand in hand. But could there be a second motive, more unconscious and more defensive? Can the veil of futility hide something while keeping it semi-secret?
Introduce your inner baby. The child you were as a child. Is he sitting or standing? What is his facial expression? What are you wearing? How does he look at you? Look at these fragile shoulders, thin fingers, palms, look into these defenseless eyes. How do you feel looking at him? What would you like to tell him? If the baby is upset and crying, what would calm him down? Tell him words that would warm a child's heart. Tell your child who lives in your heart that you need him. That you won't offend him. That he is good. That it is a great happiness that HE EXISTS.
If at one end of the spectrum art world you have museums which are treasure troves dedicated to promoting values, preserving and displaying values, then at the other end is the studio where we can't see what's going on. Is there a hidden dimension within our own in which art is more like making love than making money? Futility maintains in the realm of art an open space for incompetent forms of pleasure, not only inherent labor, but integral play.
Ted Purves, ed. We want free State University New York Press, Albany. The projects of the avant-garde are varied and contradictory, and the theorist Peter Bürger may come to the opposite conclusion about the meaning of the avant-garde gesture. For Bürger, in particular about the historical avant-garde of Dada and Surrealism, the whole purpose of the avant-garde was to end the autonomy of art. Bürger defines autonomy as the modernist and bourgeois "separation of art from the practice of life", which makes the early avant-garde's desire to join art and life a direct attack on this autonomy.
The feeling of being needed will not be achieved in one sitting. To do this, you need to regularly remember your inner child and talk to him. Feel sorry for him, sympathize with him, listen to him, pamper him. After all, a parent is not just someone who gave birth, a parent is someone who cares. Take care of your inner child and over time you will discover important changes in your well-being and sense of self.
The contradiction lies in the sense that Bürger makes art autonomous. Clearly, the key question about autonomy is “autonomy from what?” Bürger takes Kant's notion of "disinterested" judgment in aesthetic experience and follows it into the concrete notion of being separate from the practices of life. My own view towards the autonomy of art moves along a different valence; it is autonomy in the sense of self-direction and self-exploration, freedom from serving the interests of the powerful. Such autonomy comes from the idea of disinterested judgment about his refusal of instrumentality, his refusal to use.
There will be less fear, it has become easier to breathe, tension leaves the body, more confidence appears, energy and strength appear to move somewhere, and the desire to achieve something appears. After all, the baby received a feeling of being needed. This means you can create and create for this world that needs it!
You are sitting in a room alone. Cold. Do you feel that in the whole world there is not one truly soul mate. I want to wrap myself in a blanket, curl up and become a little girl from that distant childhood, when you didn’t have to decide anything, when you were loved simply because you are, so spontaneous and funny, when your heart wasn’t torn apart by unbearable thoughts of loneliness. You hide in your world because when you go outside it hurts even more. Everyone is in a hurry somewhere, in a hurry, absorbed in their thoughts, and no one cares about you. And then you ask yourself the question: Why?
It also originates in modernism, but intensifies with the avant-garde's attempt to destroy conventions and institutions. Autonomy here is radically generative and radically free. Peter Burger, “The Theory of the Avant-Garde”, trans. Michael Shaw, University of Minnesota. David Graber, to an anthropological theory of value; The False Coin of Our Own Dreams, Palgrave, New York, 200, page.
Here are eight reasons not to worry, and ways to stop worrying that might actually work. First, however, let me clarify my definition of anxiety. The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines worry as “give way to worry, let the mind dwell on troubles, let the mind settle.” This does not involve thinking about what could go wrong in order to anticipate or deal with it, which is very helpful. A principle is not a theory, but an observation that doesn't always work, but usually does.
Reason 1. Inferiority complex
If the feeling of uselessness is your constant or periodically arising companion, probably its source is in your deep childhood. Sometimes parents, dissatisfied with their children (not because the children are bad, but simply because the parents are unhappy with everything around them), tell the child that he is preventing them from living, achieving career heights or material well-being. We sincerely believe parents. Who, if not them, will tell us the truth? And we see ourselves as they see. We feel like failures if they say so, fat and ugly if in their eyes we are like that, incapable of anything compared to other children. This is very difficult to live with. The fragile child's soul remains with you forever and cries, feeling worthless and useless to anyone. And this does not go unnoticed. It hurts to remember this. But remember, cry and forgive them!
And this almost always refers to worries. Most of the things we do are insignificant in terms of results, and most worries are insignificant. Sometimes you worry that you'll be a little late for an appointment, that the dog might have fleas, that you might be embarrassed by not knowing something or being wrong, that you might not like someone, that the car might break down, that you might have to pay a little more for what you want to buy, or that you might lose your tennis match?
None of this matters - you can handle all of them. So whenever you worry, ask yourself if you were really worried. Unless it's one of the few big worries, take it out of control. If so, consider the following arguments.
What to do?
To get out of this situation, you need to learn to separate yourself from the opinions of others. Just draw a line between yourself and other people's words. Their words are their words, they live in them; Other people’s words have nothing to do with you. Don't accept them and don't let them in! According to the laws of psychology, the word spoken by a person is perceived by his subconscious as nothing other than an attitude towards himself. Understand? Only your words and thoughts have anything to do with you. They are the only ones that are truly important!
One of the reasons this works so reliably is that some clients are actually unprofitable, making it "easier" for a few clients to cut a large portion of the profits. The same thing happens with our personal life. Many things we absorb are worse than useless. When we are worried, we must either act or not worry, or decide not to act and not worry. If we can act to avoid something bad happening, or reduce the chances of it happening, then we should act and not worry.
Remember that you are a Divine essence. The world needs you, because there is simply nothing unnecessary in the world, everything matters here. Stop and feel the radiance of Light within yourself, hear the sound of Love! Your highest purpose is to reveal this Love within yourself, manifest it and pour it into the Universe.
Reason 2. Selfishness and self-pity
Your feeling of uselessness may stem from excessive self-love with complete forgetfulness of other people. If you want the whole world to revolve around you, you focus only on your needs and begin to feel sorry for yourself and blame everyone for the fact that no one appreciates you, notices you or kisses your hands, just realize that this is your Ego speaking! Behind the wall of your demands on others, you simply stop hearing them, understanding their feelings and emotions. But your loved ones need you just as much as you need them. Realize how difficult it is for them without your warmth, participation, care!
On the other hand, if we cannot control or influence what will happen, then worrying will cause us distress but will not help us - we should not act and not worry. This is a logical way to avoid anxiety. Problems disappear! However, this may not be the case, because although it is true and irrefutable, it is a purely logical argument. Sometimes our emotions control our reason.
So we need to find other reasons not to worry and antidotes to it. Psychological reasons do not disturb. When we are relaxed, happy and comfortable in our own skins, we are less likely to worry. In moments of self-awareness or unhappiness, we are more likely to feel anxious. We all experience mood swings, and when we are in a "low" mood, worries have to be dismissed or dealt with and put aside for a while when we are in a more positive mood.
What to do?
Reach out your hand! Just do something for someone without expecting anything in return. Give someone else a spark of your love! After all, you would want this too! Do you remember Golden Rule? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And don’t expect that someone will come and love you, and then in return you will respond to this warmth. Don't expect anything at all! Do it yourself! Create, create, give, bring light! This is your benefit, this is what you wake up for every morning. You are needed! That's why it's needed! To many and everyone!
When we worry, all kinds of bad things that can happen are ten feet high. If we simply acknowledge this and say to ourselves, “I don’t have any perspective at the moment, so the anxiety will be neurotic rather than leading to useful actions", then we can move on.
More fundamentally, there are many psychological explanations for our feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, guilt and lack of self-esteem. As Amy Harris writes, the little man is "clumsy, uncoordinated, without words to express his feelings and completely dependent on big people." Powerlessness leaves little man“again and again with a feeling of great exultation and a sudden cessation of what feels so good.” Many successful people “go through life desperate for approval”—first of all, from themselves.
And finally, become needed by yourself!
If you look outside for answers to your questions, you will have to constantly move in circles. When you feel unnecessary and try to find support, protection in outside world, you are creating a dependency. Nothing lasts forever in this world. Tomorrow you may lose this support and again go out into the world in search of a new one. Therefore, look for support within yourself, look for your point of balance, look for the realization that you are initially whole and perfect. And stop tormenting yourself and those around you with complaints and demands for love. Give yourself love. Learn to take care of yourself, give yourself attention and warmth. Become needed by yourself!
But no matter how good they are, it is not enough. With this mindset, there are always many things to worry about. The answer is to understand that we are the subject of outdated "records"; relax; to escape the tyranny of the past and our own aspirations; and live in the present, enjoying what it offers without self-destructive emotions.
Anxiety is emotional condition. But emotions, besides common reasons disasters are also a source of joy, creativity, commitment and caring. Emotions should not be suppressed and they should not be automatically given away. We will let them have their say and then we will respond with our intellect. We do our best to eliminate the source of the worry, and then we stop worrying. Anxiety abounds when our lives are complex and stressful, when we feel we are out of control, when we feel at the mercy of events or other people.
And finally take responsibility for your life. Don't wait for someone to come and solve your problems for you. By taking responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts, words and actions, you will stop breaking mirrors - blaming other people for your troubles, who are just your reflection, and you will begin to look for the source of Love and energy within yourself. Once you find it, you will stop feeling useless. You will see your path and understand how great, important and unique it is!
We can reduce anxiety by making a few decisions that simplify our lives and leave us free to do what we enjoy and think it is important and rewarding. Simplicity has been achieved in at least one area of life. Energy comes from limiting choices, from making commitments. I bet he was less worried too. Deciding what you want to do will also reduce your worries. Spiritual reasons not to worry.
If we consider ourselves part of something larger than ourselves and joyfully embrace the creative spark that can come to us when we are receptive, we can achieve peace. Paradoxically, by accepting addiction, we can also become stronger, more empowered, more in tune with all that is constructive in the world. One of the biggest benefits of this approach is that it eliminates anxiety. We are responsible for our actions, but we cannot and cannot be held responsible for what happens to us.
You are needed!
Especially for Lucky-Girl - Katerina
