Ksyusha Petrova
“Survival age” and the stone penis
Naturally, sex at 70 is not the same as at 20, primarily because normal age-related changes occur in the body. At the age of 45–55, women go through menopause: over the course of several years, the ovaries stop producing eggs and hormonal changes in the body occur, which are often accompanied by unpleasant symptoms, for example, “hot flashes” (when suddenly it becomes hot and the face begins to “burn”), mood swings, weakness, changes in skin texture, body proportions, the appearance of noticeable wrinkles. Many women note a decrease in libido, vaginal dryness and discomfort during penetration - due to a decrease in the amount of estrogen throughout the body, the vaginal walls become thinner and more sensitive, and less lubricant is secreted. Not all women feel the negative impact of menopause, but many report depression, anxiety and emotional instability, much like during PMS (imagine PMS lasting several years!).
By the age of 50, an important stress factor, the fear of unplanned pregnancy, disappears, but the ability to have orgasms remains.
But there is good news: despite all the difficulties associated with hormonal changes, some women note that after menopause their sex life has become better, because by the age of 50, an important stress factor - the fear of an unplanned pregnancy - disappears, and the opportunity to have orgasms remains. Many unpleasant symptoms of menopause can be alleviated - including through sex: we already know how oxytocin, produced during orgasm, is useful, and how sexual arousal and release act on the body.
Men also go through age-related changes - not as drastic as women's, but no less exciting. By analogy with menopause, the processes occurring in the male body are called andropause - this is not an entirely correct term, since men do not lose their ability to reproduce, but experience a gradual decrease in testosterone production. Every fifth man experiences erectile dysfunction during his life. Previously it was believed that this disorder was associated with age-related changes, but now doctors believe that it is due to medical or psychological factors: erectile dysfunction is much more common in men with diabetes, cardiovascular and neurological diseases, and it is also associated with lifestyle (for example, habit of alcohol and cigarettes) and psychological state - like women, many men in adulthood feel less attractive, and erectile dysfunction makes them doubt their “masculinity,” which in the collective consciousness is associated with a stone penis.
On the screen you still hardly see a sex scene or a close-up with a kiss of people over 60
The level of desire, the ability to arousal and orgasm in both men and women are affected not only by diseases, but also by the drugs with which they are treated. This is not as scary as it seems: most common problems can be solved by contacting a regular therapist, psychotherapist, sexologist or endocrinologist, who will help you choose hormone replacement therapy. There are many advantages to adulthood that extend to sex: by the age of 50–60, people begin to better understand what they like, listen to and take care of their body, and get rid of stereotypes and unrealistic expectations.
Partners who have lived together for a long time finally cease to be shy about each other - besides, if adult children have safely moved into their own home, the parents finally have personal space and more time for each other. Single people can also be sexually active - it is more difficult for them to meet partners of their own age than for 20-year-olds, but no one has canceled masturbation and sex toys (especially since things like vaginal balls and exercise machines help keep the pelvic muscles in good shape, so Women after menopause will find them very useful). It turns out that there are no objective physiological reasons to stop having sex at 45 or 60 - cultural attitudes are primarily to blame for the fact that many voluntarily give up sexual activity in adulthood.
Pop culture and eternal youth
Intimate relationships in adulthood are a topic that popular culture ignores or ridicules: sexually active older people are spoken of either in the spirit of “gray hair, devil in the rib,” as if they were behaving indecently, or ironically and touchingly, as if they were That people over 60 are able to love and experience pleasure is something extraordinary and inspiring. “The natural need for physical contact, tenderness, expression of sympathy and love is buried behind conversations about decent behavior, age-related characteristics, and the special spirituality of older people. This is ageism, or total discrimination of a person based on age,” says sociologist Dmitry Rogozin.
Older people are already underrepresented in popular culture, and romantic and sensual relationships between them are rarely shown: although there has been a slight shift towards positive portrayals of old age in cinema, you still hardly see a sex scene or close-up of older people kissing on screen 60. One such exception is the Berlin Film Festival-winning film 45 Years, in which Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay play spouses who have lived together for almost half a century. The film differs from other stories about a family crisis not only in that it contains a realistic sex scene, but also in that the intimate relationship of an elderly couple is shown outside of a comedic context. “It was funny and strange to watch how, during the screenings, an awkward silence suddenly arose in the auditorium; the public is sure that Charlotte’s heroine, Kate, will now close the door to the bedroom behind her, and the episode will end there. But that’s not the case - we continue to film in the bedroom,” the film’s director Andrew Hay said after the premiere. “The fact that as people get older, people stop being sexually attracted to each other is a very sad thing for me, a 42-year-old man.”
In most Hollywood films, sex among "those who care about..." appears solely as a joke: in box office hits like "Marigold Hotel". “Best of the Exotic,” all sex scenes remain behind the scenes, and in those films where there are sex scenes with middle-aged people, the audience’s attention is focused on comical difficulties such as a back crunch at the wrong time or the need to run to the kitchen for Viagra. There is also a gender imbalance: scenes with mature men and much younger women are common, but the opposite is almost never the case. 70-year-old men often play 50-year-old men, but with women the situation is the opposite: however, even if the actress’s age corresponds to what is written in the script, it is unlikely that real women will associate themselves with superstars like Charlotte Rampling or Meryl Streep.
“45+” and Russian pensioners
It would be dishonest to compare Russian pensioners with Western ones without mentioning the differences in their standard of living: most Russians over 60 live, to put it mildly, poorly, and pressing problems like a lack of medicine or food clearly push problems with sex into the background. It’s hard to imagine that Russian women over 70 are as happy with a new vibrator as the heroine of the series “” - primarily because such a vibrator costs as much as three pensions. The same can be said about consultations with a sexologist, and about psychotherapy, and even about buying condoms - all this is available to a narrow layer of more or less wealthy pensioners. However, the main problem remains ageism and a culture of shame in which older people are denied sexuality and physicality in general.
From the USSR we inherited the belief that in youth you can have a little fun, and then “you have to raise your children” and no longer have time for sex - after the birth of grandchildren, sex should completely disappear by itself. According to surveys of Russian pensioners, it becomes clear that people give up physical intimacy at the age of 45–55 voluntarily, without serious reasons - simply because it is customary. In the older generation there are many single people, especially women - this is due to the difference in life expectancy and the fact that starting a new relationship “at the end of life” (although “sunset” can take 20 or 30 years) is unusual and scary.
“Is it possible to live as brightly at the age of 45+ as in your youth? Today a woman is capable of even this!” thematic sites cheerfully declare, cleverly ignoring the fact that 45 is not old at all. Relationships, falling in love and sex are for the young, thin and healthy, so any manifestations of sexuality and eroticism at an older age (and the “oldest age” for sex in Russia is 45–60 years old) are surrounded by an aura of shame. Nevertheless, Russians over 60 have sex - and, as RANEPA sociologists found out, they are even ready to talk about it. The head of the study, Dmitry Rogozin, notes that women talk about relationships and intimacy much more willingly and calmly: apparently, this is due to the fact that all romantic topics are labeled as “feminine”, and it is “undignified” for men to discuss such things, so the language for talking about sex is they were developed at the level of bragging in front of the boys. It is important to understand that not only glamorous, slender old women like Buddy Winkle- even the most ordinary elderly people have an intimate life, those who have never accessed the Internet in their lives, live in a small town, watch talk shows on Channel One and embody other stereotypes about old age in Russia.
Life hacks and security
If you search for “sex and older people” you will get a bunch of links to porn. In the English-language search, porn also comes up, but the situation is generally better: the search for “sex seniors” appears links to lifestyle publications for older people with advice, safety rules, dating forums and personal stories. Western doctors and sexuality researchers are confident that there is nothing abnormal in the intimate life of older people, but they emphasize the need for sex education: not everyone knows that after menopause, condoms are also needed - pregnancy certainly will not occur, but you can easily catch an infection.
We once wrote that an erect penis is not necessary for sex - the same idea is promoted by specialists who advise sexually active pensioners. Mature age is the time to reconsider your attitude towards intimacy in principle and expand your sexual practices: changes in the body and some diseases do not always make it possible to have sex in the same way as in youth, but they turn on the imagination and force you to try new things. Massage, oral sex, long foreplay, hugs and touches - these and many other sexual practices are available to even the oldest couples.
It is also recognized for residents of nursing homes - in progressive institutions, older people are given the opportunity to have privacy and are given free condoms, and established couples can live together. This is not a call for depravity, but respect: old people are often treated like helpless children, even if everything is in order with their intellect, and they are deprived of their last shreds of independence.
If the idea of sex at 80 still seems ridiculous to you, you may remember that in Pushkin's time a 25-year-old woman was considered a respectable lady, and a 50-year-old woman was considered an ancient crone, but the average life expectancy and ideas about old age have changed a lot since then . If modern Russian pensioners are primarily Soviet people who are not used to talking about sex, then in the West, 80-year-olds are those who hung out at Woodstock, lived in hippie communes, participated in the Stonewall riots, the May 1968 demonstrations and the first gay -parades - or at least followed these events in the news. Those who were sexually active in their youth do not want to stop because of someone else's prejudices - so we can expect even more from the current generation of emancipation and sex education.
Photos: Land of Women, Peter Rommel Productions, Fabula
At 30, a man seeks stability, at 40, he begins to “look to the left,” and at 50–60, he is already prone to extravagance. Doctors conventionally divide the life of any man into several periods, the change of which is associated with a crisis and subsequent personality changes. There are three such turning points in a man’s life, although we must make a reservation: these age limits are quite arbitrary. For some, withdrawal may occur earlier than the fateful date, for others it may occur much later. The last “difficult age” for a man is 55 - 60 years old.
WHAT IS THE WIFE DOING?
At 30 years old, a man is looking for stability both in his career and, most importantly, in family relationships. Stability, but not “insipidity”, from which even a faithful husband will run away into someone else’s arms. How many troubles occur due to the lack of full-fledged family communication, which he begins to appreciate precisely in these years.
When a man is over thirty, many things are no longer new to him, so the following thoughts often come to mind: “Somehow I don’t feel well (options: tired, busy, tired, etc.), so I’ll leave my wife today I'd rather sleep or watch TV."
Such “decadence” must be fought. Real concern for one's own health presupposes the following train of thought: “I’m not feeling well today. Well, to hell with this TV, I’ll go and see what my wife is doing there.”
During this period, a woman can still change something for the better, say, by buying sexy lingerie, changing her hairstyle, being more affectionate towards her loved one, and so on and so forth.
Turning thirty is a difficult period: a man finds himself at a kind of crossroads between the past and the future. Behind is an irresponsible, careless youth full of frivolous actions and unfulfilled obligations. I don’t even want to draw a line under this period, but I have to draw a line. Ahead lies maturity, from which you don’t know what to expect. Therefore, go through this difficult time not only next to you, but also together with your husband, be especially gentle and patient with him - this will greatly strengthen your marriage.
40 YEARS OLD - NO MIND
Recently, forty-year-olds have developed the habit of not celebrating birthdays: they say that the date echoes the forties after death. It’s better to skip it, out of harm’s way, the men argue with a superstition that is not typical for them. 
Outwardly, their fears may not manifest themselves in any way, but their inner world changes greatly. Two traits clearly appear - increased sensitivity and sentimentality. What to do! Forty years is a time of doubt. And not only about their capabilities - most people are fine with THIS. Forty-year-olds are plagued by thoughts about their place in life, their profession, the attitude of their relatives, children, friends, and bosses towards them. It comes to the point that they stop seeing meaning in their own existence. They are seized by panic, pushing them into madness, into wild steps: some begin to drink uncontrollably, the desperate try to take their own lives. No wonder suicide among forty-year-olds remains at a consistently high level.
Among other things, this is the age of self-affirmation “on the side.” The husband finds a girlfriend half his age, who is old enough to be his daughter, and begins to make regular “walks” to the left, with awkward explanations and the stupidest tricks. From the outside it looks almost comical: fathers and husbands lose their minds and ignore life experience. “The man is mad,” the neighbors look after him disapprovingly. In short, an autumn marathon:
Usually, the steps of men trying to radically change their lives in the “fateful forties” are accompanied by a weakened nervous system, stingy (and not so stingy) tears and the first heart attacks. True, during this period, attempts to leave home remain attempts. For wives of forty years old, this is the time to prove their love for their husbands, showing maximum restraint and compassion: the “fugitive” will most likely have a desire to back up. He proved his ability to win a young woman, he enjoyed passion with her, but to live nearby... And the prodigal husband, having wandered around with a fluffy tail, returns home. A house is a house. Remember how much we have experienced together, how wonderful the children have grown up, and at 45, it’s not easy to be alone. And is it necessary?
AND LAUGHTER AND TEARS AND LOVE
Just don’t think that you can take a breath if your spouse turns 60. A man “over fifty” one fine day realizes that “the train is leaving” for good. Then he feverishly searches - and, as a rule, he finds a baby, next to whom it is easy to seem like a guru, a teacher, or sages. A 60-year-old man defies youth and finds in a girl friend a source of nourishment for him.
This is exactly what they say: “Both laughter and sin.” One example. It happened that the retired husband cheated on his granny with a young lady who was not old enough to be his daughter, but his granddaughter. When the stupidity passed, he repented not without pride - they say, I can do more: After this, the grandmother called her betrothed only “Bill”, did not let him leave her for a single step, and then said that she had also found a young lover. She was joking, of course, but her jealous husband came at her with his fists. The children and grandchildren spent a long time trying to persuade the “crazy people” and in the end they begged them to talk to a psychologist. With the help of a specialist, the family crisis was finally overcome.
DON'T BE AFRAID AND DON'T HURRY
It is difficult to suggest a universal remedy for the crisis of 30-40-50-60-year-olds. In each specific case, a man should talk to a psychologist himself. But the most general recipes for overcoming age-related impasses do exist.
Moscow psychologist Alexey Vasiliev believes:
- There is no need to wait with fear for the “fatal” date. The more afraid you are, the more painful the crisis becomes. When you know what awaits you, you have time to prepare - and calmly, that is, constructively and focusedly, accept what happened. The crisis recedes before calm.
- In many ways, it is suppressed sexuality that is the root cause of crises. By the way, prostatitis, impotence and most sexual disorders are the result of improper and irregular sex life. It is clear that love pleasures are preventive measures. It is unlikely that it will be possible to relieve an acute attack of advanced osteochondrosis with a love affair, but preventing it by acting in a similar way is quite possible.
What a woman wants, God wants. Controversial truth. However, that's not what this is about. It's about what men want. What do they expect from a relationship with a woman - at 18, 40 and 60 years old...
18-24 years old. Pendulum love
Psychologists say that after 25, men reach that maturity when they begin to more or less adequately evaluate themselves. And before that, a man is a dreamer, looking for himself, his calling, hobby, job, woman. It’s hardly worth trying to make a guy the father of a family - he’s simply not ready to switch from the woman he loves to diapers.
What should a girl who dreams of an affair with a boy do? Amaze him, delight him, make him fall in love with you, but don’t drag him down the aisle. An excellent option is to rent an apartment and live together without having children. Your main task is to allow the young man to mature into family life. Just make sure that the fish does not jump off the hook and go to a more successful fisherman.
25-30 years old. Nesting period
The same social maturity. Basic sensations have been obtained, worldview, priorities and gastronomic tastes have been formed. Usually by this age some kind of stability already appears. In addition, what psychologists call information satiation sets in. New sensations are no longer particularly needed. A man becomes more responsible and serious. It's time to become a dad.
It is at this age that a man is most greedy for comfort, care and manifestations of love. Be gentle and sweet with him and don't forget to show off your culinary skills. Add saffron, cinnamon and cloves to your dishes more often. The unforgettable taste of food will firmly linger in the male mind and form your image of a “smart, beautiful woman” who also knows how to create comfort. By the way, saffron increases passion, and cinnamon excites the imagination.
30-35 years old. Tired of boredom
"Golden Age" of men. He feels young, but at the same time, the experience he has gained gives him self-confidence. That is why, if he is not yet married, attempts to drag him into the registry office most often end in failure. He will prefer freedom - after all, he already has everything: a job, an apartment, women... A married person after thirty - on the one hand, is a good family man, on the other - begins to experience some boredom and, accordingly, walk “to the left.” You can keep him by developing persistent habits (for example, gastronomic habits) and enchanting sex. Because it is at the age of 30 that a man’s sexual desire peaks, and a wife in a washed-out robe and slippers with pom-poms is not the most desirable object.
But the most important thing is to unobtrusively but convincingly demonstrate to him the richness of your inner world and intelligence. Become interesting and indispensable to him. In a word, your chosen one must clearly understand that there are many women in the world, but he will never find someone as subtle, caring and understanding as you.
35-45 years old. Twice unmarried
The “golden age” is followed by a sharp, if not catastrophic, decline—a midlife crisis. A man suddenly begins to think, to take stock of his life. It's no joke - half your life is behind you! And suddenly he realizes that he became, for example, a great couturier, but in childhood he wanted to be a cabin boy! But now he will never do it... At this age, a man is capable of throwing out any trick. For no apparent reason, a lazy homebody starts to get involved in fishing, a modest teacher buys a motorcycle and becomes a biker... A man wants change! But the easiest way is to change your wife. Therefore, there is a real danger of family destruction. A man leaves for another not because she is better, but because she is different! Careers are ruined, destinies are broken, an engineer abandons his design bureau and goes to work as a huntsman, a teetotaler goes on a drinking binge. It is at this age that the largest number of suicides occur. What to do? Sublimate the crisis into a hobby and share it with your man. He became interested in skiing - and you should follow his example. The spouse began to paint pictures - and you will buy yourself paints and canvas. Hobby, if it’s one between two people, brings us incredibly closer together...
45-55 years old. Gray hair in beard
Relative calm. A man begins to value a strong rear even more than before the crisis. Moreover, you seem to have strength and health, and the children have grown up - you can take care of yourself. It is as if he rediscovers his lifelong friend. Spiritual communication comes to the fore, the banal “how about we talk?” It’s good if the spouses have maintained some kind of emotional contact by this time, but if not, it’s a disaster. Look for that emotional connection
the man will be on the side. For the “fifty-kopeck” man is approaching, behind whom, as you know, is a gray beard, a devil in the rib. At this age, a man begins to feel the first signs of fading masculine strength. And sex often becomes a symbol for him - like, wow, I can still do it! And communication with nymphets also increases his self-esteem. Although this is pure fraud - it is clear that a young, inexperienced girl will easily be charmed by an experienced man. And in bed, some 50-year-old “old man” will give a head start to the young man, because he has two or three decades of experience on his side.
It is best to keep a man busy at this age. Building a summer house, renovating an apartment, raising a dog. The main condition is that he should be interested. A little madness wouldn't hurt either. Organize an exotic picnic for him, dance a belly dance, demonstrate a new pose from the Kama Sutra - you’ll see, he’ll like it.
55-60. To each his due
The man is practically safe. He becomes slightly selfish, but his egoism is rather social, tied to home, to family. The spouse turns from a friend into a relative, into a person whom you know inside and out. But if at the age of 30-40 this is the “length and breadth” - a great minus, then after 60 it becomes a huge plus, that thread that can neither be broken nor cut. The comfort of living together comes to the fore. Are you happy together? That's okay. If there is no warmth and mutual understanding, the man will simply go into internal emigration, breaking contact with the woman and family. The classic example is that he will go to the dacha and live there all year round as a little guy, and his wife can move around as she pleases.
If you don’t like this scenario, let the man know that you really need him. Ask him for help more often, without forgetting to thank him.
60 years. Hard-earned wisdom
The spouses should have some common business: the same dacha, raising grandchildren, and even walks in the evenings.
Of course, this age division is very arbitrary. Some people do not reach social maturity even at the age of 50, and until old age they reflect, look for their place in life and try to express themselves. And someone at 25 feels like a fully accomplished person. But exceptions only confirm the rules. Is not it?..
The birth of the question: “Is there sex life after 60?” very predictable. When meeting with acquaintances at this age, people discuss not work, travel or new hobbies, but their illnesses. If a person is seriously ill, then he has no time for sex. At the age of 60, the male menopause ends, which separates desire and opportunity. “I want” no longer means “I can.” And if, due to illness, “I want” has not arisen for a long time, then the man turns into an old man.
To talk about sex life at the age of sixty, you need to have it. And sometimes it depends not on age, but on the person’s well-being. That's when the time comes to regret that you neglected 15-minute exercises, walks in the fresh air and light, easy workouts. A body accustomed to bliss and lack of tension cannot withstand sexual stress.
Before the onset of menopause, at the age of 55-60, men begin to produce sex hormones in increased quantities.
Behavior changes, men begin to court younger women and leave the family. Prostate adenoma often develops from excess hormones; this affects more than 70% of men after 60 years of age. Then all this passes and the person cannot explain the motive for his strange behavior. After 60 years, when menopause ends, the body no longer has enough hormones. During this period, a man should not give up his intimate life, it just needs to be changed and adapted to the new physiology. Difficulties begin with the realization that the desire remains, but the possibilities change. By this time, the production of sex hormones is sharply reduced by almost half.
In addition to the fact that there is simply not enough physical strength for violent sex, the sensitivity of the head of the penis decreases and an erection occurs after preliminary stimulation of the penis and testicles. In addition to the loss of sensitivity of the penis, at this age men are unpleasantly surprised to discover that their spontaneous erection disappears and their sexual attraction to women decreases. All this is due to a decrease in the amount of sex hormones - testosterone.
Excitability decreases, erection and ejaculation become sluggish, sexual intercourse turns into a protracted process.
All this very upsets the man, causing him depression, which further intensifies sexual dysfunction. Men are embarrassed to talk about their sexual problems, and even more so to contact doctors about this. But with the decline of sexual function, headaches, insomnia, and irritability begin to torment. All this can be avoided by taking a course of hormone replacement therapy.
How to increase sexual activity
The first step to restoring an active sex life and potency should be changing your diet. In addition to foods that charge the body with energy, one should give preference to those that help cleanse and strengthen the body:
- Vegetables and fruits, herbs and nuts deliver vitamins and minerals in large quantities;
- Seafood has always been considered an excellent aphrodisiac;
- It is necessary to increase the amount of drinking water, green tea and fresh juices;
- Reduce the presence of salt in food;
- Reduce consumption of fatty and high-calorie foods, eggs, cream, sausages.
Such a change in diet will ease the condition of the gastrointestinal tract, reduce the load on the heart, cleanse the blood vessels, and restore former mobility to the joints. All this will allow a sixty-year-old man to have a regular sex life and feel vigorous and healthy. You need to take care of your sex life from a young age.
Having sex regularly throughout your life, you don’t lose interest in it either at 60 or at 80. Sex is considered one of the factors of human longevity.
Moderate and proper physical activity also helps maintain health and sexual activity. Human physiology is impossible without movement. It is not for nothing that in bedridden patients the lungs stop working and the person suffocates. Skillfully selected loads should be regular, with control of heartbeat and blood pressure. They will help maintain optimal weight, reduce blood sugar and cholesterol, and increase potency.
Walking and yoga, swimming and cycling will help revive sexual function.
Aerobic exercises, normalizing blood circulation and saturating the body with oxygen, restore erection. Exercises for the pelvic muscles help cope with some chronic diseases of the genitourinary system and help prolong sexual life. An active sex life improves metabolism, digestion, blood circulation and psychological health. Moderate sex reduces the likelihood of a heart attack, prevents complications, and stimulates the immune system.
You should not allow a break in sex for several months. During this time, sexual function may completely fade away. There should be at least one sexual intercourse during the week.
At this age, the support and understanding of a woman is especially important. Only preliminary stimulation of the genitals allows a man to become aroused. If erectile dysfunction of the penis appears and develops, you need to discuss this with your partner and seek help from a doctor. Bad habits not only shorten life and worsen its quality, they have a detrimental effect on sexual activity.
Smokers are twice as likely to have sexual intercourse. Excess weight, stress, alcohol, depression - all this interferes with enjoying life and love.
The effect of pills on potency
- The following diseases cause a decrease in the potency of men after sixty:
- Atherosclerosis;
- Coronary heart disease and stroke;
- Hypertension;
- Diabetes;
- Arthritis of the joints;
Adenoma and prostatitis.
Impaired blood circulation, vascular patency, and pain not only make it difficult to concentrate on sex, but also prevent erection in men. In addition, a large number of pills taken for such diseases leads to a weakening of sexual desire.
By the age of sixty, quality sex can often be obtained by using the pill as a sexual stimulant. They must be used as prescribed by a doctor. The use of drugs with weak potency gives very noticeable results. Until recently, doctors found it difficult to diagnose weakened sexual function.
Ejaculation before insertion of the penis into the vagina was definitely considered short sexual intercourse.
- The difficulty in making a diagnosis was due to the fact that most men described their sexual intercourse of normal duration as too short. Viagra, the active component of which is sildenafil citrate, is highly advertised. It is safe to use this drug only if there is no vascular pathology. Viagra should not be used if there are problems with the liver, kidneys, heart, or stomach. An hour before sexual intercourse, you can use other sexual stimulants:
- Levitra;
- Zyden;
- Tadalafis;
Erexesil.
We must not forget that addiction to drugs can completely deprive a man of his functions. And in the future, without medical means, it will be impossible to achieve what you want. We must not forget the main rule - you can increase potency only through constant practice and regular sexual life. There is no need to seek help from medications at the first sexual failure. Under no circumstances should you abstain if you want intimacy.
Who shouldn't stress?
Unfortunately, many people in their sixties have reasons to limit sexual intimacy. In addition to the fact that by this time people have already lost their second spouse, many at this age overestimate their physical capabilities. High blood pressure, heart disease, and vascular damage force one to limit any activity, reducing sexual contacts.
Despite the fact that men who have regular sexual activity get sick less and live longer, they rarely seek medical help for sexual disorders.
The sexual life of Russian men after 45 years is already limited by weak erections in 90% of cases. And about 40% stop having sex because of this.
If you want to be healthy, exercise. By overcoming physical activity through effort, a man resists his laziness and resists the habit of feeling sorry for himself. The result will be a reward in the form of an attractive physical shape, good health and an active sex life.
From this article you will learn:
What are the main features of communicating with older people?
How age-related changes affect communication with older people
What are the basic rules for communicating with older people that will help you establish contact with them?
What not to do when communicating with older people
What are the features of communicating with older people with dementia?
Most people consider retirement as a kind of milestone, after which active life ends and a period of quiet decline begins. Old age is approaching, there are fewer and fewer opportunities, and a full life can only be remembered. This is far from true. Life after 60 years can be bright, full of communication, eventful. At this age, it becomes possible to devote more time to family, friends, interests and hobbies. The main thing is to want to lead an active lifestyle and not allow yourself to be depressed.
Is there life after 60 years
The modern world is focused on the younger generation. For years, established stereotypes have made people fear the approach of old age. Life after 60 seems to many to be more of a problem than a joy. People are overcome by thoughts of impending poverty, loss of external beauty, and extinction of sexual desires. Scientists are also concerned about the perception of approaching old age.
Having devoted their research to the problems of aging, psychologists insist that life after 60 years can be full, active, and eventful. All nightmares about old age are far-fetched. There is no need to regret your irretrievably lost youth. It is better to accept your real age, find a use for yourself and fill your life with interesting people, activities and a positive attitude.
Amazing news was announced to the world some time ago by the scientific community. Dutch scientists have deciphered the DNA of a woman who lived to be 115 years old. At the same time, both physical strength and clarity of mind were preserved. Scientists have testified that shortly before her death the woman looked 50 years old. At the age of 113, she was tested to ensure she retained her mental abilities. The results corresponded to the level of a 65-year-old.
In the genome of the centenarian, scientists discovered unique changes that gave reason to assume that it was thanks to them that the woman’s body was protected from the aging process and all the transformations associated with it. Amsterdam biologists suggest that the longevity gene is hidden in such rearrangements.
This discovery could change people's understanding of life expectancy. Nature itself has prepared the human body for a full, long life after 60 years. Many scientists involved in the study of this issue are united by the opinion that the duration of human life should approach 130 years - this is the period for which human resources are designed. It’s unfortunate that the reason for the changes in the long-lived woman’s body is still not clear. This may be influenced by nutrition, ecology, interest in life, etc. Scientists hope that answers to all questions will be found in the very near future.
What are the benefits of living after 60?
Research by American scientists has shown that the human brain reaches full performance only in old age. Peak of intellectual activity falls on 50-70 years. People who lead a healthy lifestyle after 60 become wiser and more reasonable. Barbara Stouch's research led to this sensational conclusion.
By this age, any person has many events that have happened behind him, which have formed a certain life experience. This makes it easier to navigate the variety of situations that arise, experience fewer illusions, better understand people and build relationships with them. Special wisdom gives a person the opportunity to find optimal solutions in difficult circumstances, adapt flexibly to changes and not react so sharply to minor problems and disappointments. Life after 60 years is judicious and selective. A person builds his own social circle, limiting it and allowing only those he wants to join him.
Life after 60 years is less subject to passions, because older people are more emotionally stable. According to University of California professor Dilip Jaist, the brain of a person who has decades of life behind him is less impulsive and more rational.
Life after 60 can be full of business meetings. By this age, a person reaches the maximum level of development both in career and in public life, where they play an important role, enjoying authority in such areas as politics, business, culture, etc.
Life after 60 is more realistic. People evaluate their capabilities and strengths more strictly and rationally. With age, individuality and the ability to present oneself in the right light are honed. Knowing all his advantages and disadvantages, a person skillfully flaunts some things, and tries not to show others at all.
Life after 60 years is considered as a period long-awaited stability. Almost everyone by this age has a family, children, and some already grandchildren, a certain social, professional and material standard of living. The period after 60 years is favorable for doing things for which there was not enough time, for new hobbies, communication and travel.
How is family life different after 60?
A loving couple can live happily ever after and die on the same day only in wonderful children's fairy tales. In reality, everything is completely different. A prosperous and long family life is possible only with the joint desire and creativity of the spouses.
The feelings of passion and love that dominate the relationship between people at the beginning of marriage, over the years spent together, are transformed into calmer, but deep and heartfelt tenderness and affection. Having withstood many tests, these feelings erase all small problems, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and understanding. Such an idyll is achieved if, in addition to love, spouses are connected by common interests and views, and not just family values. For example, a shared hobby, love of travel, scientific or social interest, etc. Life after 60 years clearly shows the sincerity of feelings between spouses.
When children grow up, begin to live independently, start their own families and leave the parental home, older people may experience worsening relationship problems, as this is a serious stage for them. The success of spouses overcoming this crisis moment depends on the method of resolving difficult situations, the level of mutual understanding and the degree of cohesion. Harmony in relationships, respect, increased several times over the years of living together, can minimize and negate the consequences of any negative trends.
Known two ways out. The situation can be resolved:
Constructively, focusing on the personal development of each spouse, the emergence of a new joint interest and the area of its implementation, the fulfillment of those desires for which there was not enough time due to caring for children.
Unconstructive, fixated on difficulties, fear of loneliness, loss of meaning in life, feeling of uselessness, disappointment in family values, decreased vital activity, complete apathy and emerging health problems.
Is there an intimate life after 60 years?
There is an opinion in society that vibrant intimate relationships are characteristic only of young and middle-aged people. There are also many who believe that sexual life after 60 years is unnecessary and wrong. Age is not the reason for the end of intimate relationships. If a person has not lost his physical ability, he should not forbid himself to live fully. Research by the American biologist and sexologist A.S. Kinsey confirms the presence of sexual interest and desire in older people. Just one quarter of 60-year-old couples are not intimate. Everyone else has sex, but perhaps not as often as before.
An analysis of the sexual activity of men over 60 years of age showed that 80% of them are capable of intimate intimacy. The figure is no worse for men who have reached 70 years of age - this is 70% of their number. After 80, this figure drops to 25%.
Such statistics confirm that sexual activity does not directly depend on age and persists throughout life if a person monitors his health and does not bother his head with prejudices.
How to maintain a healthy lifestyle after 60 years
Scientists believe that the ability to maintain an active and full life after 60 years depends only on ourselves. The genetic or hereditary factor has only about 30% of the influence, the remaining 70% is a person’s attitude towards his health and the body as a whole.
A healthy lifestyle after 60 years for women and men should include several aspects:
Health control
You should not wait for a noticeable deterioration in your health to go to the doctor. Visit your doctor regularly to monitor your condition. Pay attention to any unexpected problems. For example, your blood pressure has increased, it has become more difficult to breathe, you feel pain in your back or joints - all these are reasons to consult a specialist. The advantage of early diagnosis is to reduce and prevent the destructive effects of the disease on the body. Try to listen to how you feel.
You rarely meet a person who would be happy to go to doctors, and even more so would be calm about operations or a long course of treatment. But this is not a reason to trigger the course of the disease. Early diagnosis of the disease and timely treatment provide a high chance of full recovery. Never think that everything will go away on its own, do not rely on traditional methods, but simply go to professionals and strictly follow all recommendations. And then life after 60 years will sparkle with new colors.
Healthy lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle after 60 years for men and women is unthinkable without following certain rules and eliminating bad habits and factors. This will avoid a significant number of diseases. Try to adhere to these postulates at any age:
Watch your weight, keep it normal. If you have a few extra pounds, try to carefully lose them and not gain them in the future.
Lead an active lifestyle, try to move more. Daily exercise should become a habit. Find something to do yourself. This could be a walk with the dog, a trip to the cinema, a little work on the property, or a visit to a special fitness group for older people.
If it is not possible to completely eliminate alcohol, then choose light, good quality drinks. It is better to give up cigarettes completely.
Try not to get overtired. Lead a fairly active lifestyle after 60 years, but don’t strain yourself, don’t overwhelm yourself with work, do everything in a measured manner.
Sleep is the best medicine. Give it enough time and avoid stressful situations. You shouldn't try to build your life after 60 in the same way as when you were 30 years old. Get more rest.
Be careful about your diet. You should not overeat, eat fatty, fried, salty, sweet foods. Products must be natural and dietary.
Remember to be careful. If possible, avoid injury, be prudent and correctly calculate your strengths and capabilities. Consider your age and take roads, crossings, ice, etc. seriously.
Of particular note is another important factor influencing life after 60 years - this is mood and state of mind. A pessimistic attitude causes loss of strength, depression and reduces the body's protective functions. The immune system weakens and the person gets sick easily. People who lead an active life are full of internal energy. Good spirits and an optimistic attitude make a person strong and healthy. Don't be afraid of getting old. We do not know who is given how many years. Live to the fullest, enjoy every moment, look for the positive in everything and take maximum care of your health.
7 tips from psychologists on how to make life happy after 60 years
We would all like life to always make us happy and bring pleasure. Unfortunately, it is not. There are moments of grief, bitterness, melancholy and apathy that are quite difficult to bear. And every year there are more and more such moments in life, but do not become discouraged. To make life fulfilling after 60 years, the advice of psychologists is as follows:
1) Don’t focus on illnesses!
Under no circumstances should you make a hobby out of your ailments. Avoid endless complaints about your health, don’t talk only about illnesses, don’t go to the clinic unnecessarily, just looking for people to talk to. This is how the psychological crisis of lack of attention and communication manifests itself. Switch to something useful, provide all possible help to your family or others. After all, everyone gets sick, and this should not become the meaning of your life after 60 years.
2) Be optimistic about your age!
You can make life after 60 years bright, full of impressions and in a great mood only if you are calm about changes in your appearance, are ready to adjust your life plans and make more realistic wishes. It will be much more comfortable for you to start this new stage not with memories and longing for the past, but with setting a real goal and developing a path to achieve it.
Let's take as an example a study by Yale University sociologist Becky Levy, which she conducted for 30 years, studying the approach of old age in 440 volunteers. Having selected the participants for the experiment, she divided them into two groups. The first group included those who accepted the coming changes absolutely calmly, considering it a natural life process. The second group consisted of participants who were afraid of the aging of their body.
The results obtained only confirmed the incredible power of optimism. Participants in the first group lived longer on average by 7-8 years. The life expectancy of those who also gave up bad habits, devoted time to sports and healthy eating, increased by more than 10 years. Optimistic people, who accept their years as a wealth and not a burden, are less susceptible to cardiovascular diseases and regain strength more easily and quickly.
3) Give up old ideas.
Often people limit themselves in everything under the influence of stereotypes. There is no point in such restraint; it only spoils life after 60 years. There is no need to become like an idle old wreck, constantly sitting on a bench and discussing the latest gossip. Allow yourself to look different - elegant, in demand and happy. In your new life after 60 years, remove negativity, even from your own statements. Instead of: “It’s too late for me to start something,” say: “I have the experience, wisdom and time to devote all this to a new hobby.” Or: “With the arrival of retirement, life ends,” replace it with: “With the arrival of retirement, I have much more time for my family and my interests.” Try to think positively and enjoy every moment of your life after 60 years.
4) Expand your horizons!
Stop living by stereotypes! Imagine what you would like to do. Make a “25 Wish List.” Think about what you didn't have time for? What haven't you gotten to? Perhaps you dreamed of spending more time on sewing, knitting, growing indoor flowers, arranging your home or garden, etc. Determine your priority direction and start mastering it! By keeping yourself busy with an interesting or favorite activity and positive emotions, you will spend your free time usefully and understand how fulfilling life can be after 60 years.
It is clear that it is quite difficult to immediately switch to a completely different rhythm. Start with small changes. Dedicate every day to something. For example, on Baking Day, prepare some pies and invite family or friends for tea. On Walking Day, go to the park or the Philharmonic. Such moments will fill your life with new desires and opportunities, communication and diversity. They will teach you to spend maximum time on yourself, and not on work or the money that paid for it.
5) Be an example!
Don't let depression into your life! Try to constantly strive for something. Remember that you are an example for your loved ones, do not allow yourself to become limp and turn into a sloppy person. Be sure that life after 60 is just as interesting and rich, and give this confidence to your friends and family. By striving to be an example, you will get used to the new role and will no longer be afraid of the future, regretting the past. If it’s difficult to cheer yourself up and put your thoughts in order on your own, then you don’t need to be shy about turning to a professional psychologist for help.
6) Don't interfere in other people's lives.
There are cases when people, having a sufficient amount of free time and doing nothing, look for something to do in the everyday life of their children, actively interfering in their personal lives, giving advice and recommendations, which ultimately lead to discord. If you have something to professionally teach the younger generation in order to convey your undeniable experience, start a blog on the Internet. Publish useful life hacks, tips, subtleties and nuances of what you are first-class. In this you can find a most interesting activity, enthusiastic communication and useful development.
7) Communicate more!
Communication plays an important role in the lives of people of any age. It is very difficult for a person who was in a whirlpool of events to rebuild and begin to live differently after 60 years. Try to communicate more, don’t isolate yourself, make acquaintances, visit public places and interest clubs. A common hobby greatly unites people and makes life brighter and more diverse.
8) Be confident!
Studies conducted by domestic and foreign psychologists on the adaptation of older people to life after 60 years have confirmed their opinion that those who have high self-esteem get used to the new rhythm most quickly and successfully. Faith in themselves and their strength helps them not to think about old age and death, but to live, filling each day with pleasant worries as much as possible. Try to love yourself even more. Don’t blame yourself if you’re too lazy to do something, please yourself with new things or desired acquisitions, communicate only with people you like, develop and fill your life with positivity.
10 striking examples that life after 60 is just beginning
Life can be fulfilling even after 60 years. This is confirmed by the examples of Vladimir Yakovlev, who published an amazing series of books devoted to this issue. The opinion that for all people of retirement age the quality of life decreases, interests disappear, desires become grounded, and the like, is completely destroyed by the examples in the next section. A person’s personal desire is the best motivation for an active life even after 60 years.
1. Greta Pontarelli, 64 years old.
Greta started pole dancing only a couple of years ago. But already now she surprises viewers with her flexibility, complexity of numbers and originality of costumes. It all didn’t start out too rosy when the terrible diagnosis “Osteoporosis is progressive and destroys bone tissue” was made. Greta understood the doctors’ recommendations that she needed to lift weights in her own way and decided to lift herself.
Thanks to many hours of daily training, the pain tormenting my back went away, my body became flexible and toned. Greta found a most interesting activity for herself that took over all her thoughts and free time. Her example inspires a large number of people who, after 60 years of age, decide to lead an active lifestyle rather than sit on a bench.
2. Duan Jinfu, 76 years old.
Half a century of work in the glass industry seriously undermined Duan's health, filling his lungs with glass dust and making his body completely inflexible and unruly. Duan had almost resigned himself to the fate of a sick old man when, while walking in the park, he accidentally found himself next to older people doing gymnastics. The plasticity of their bodies filled his mind with an uncontrollable desire to begin the exercises.
He was fascinated by Taoist practice, which helps restore flexibility to the body and prevent aging. Having joined the group he saw in the park, Duan achieved good success, began to improve his body’s health, began to communicate with new friends and lead a fully active lifestyle.
3. Ruth Flowers, 75 years old.
Ruth was always a music lover, loved a wide variety of music and even sang in the church choir. She lived the calm, measured life of a married woman for more than 40 years until her husband died and she became a widow. Heartbroken, 68-year-old Ruth Flowers resigned herself to her fate and quietly faded away among the memories. One day, after a year, a woman tried to enter an entertainment club to celebrate her grandson’s birthday, but the guard standing at the entrance did not let her through, hinting at her advanced age. When she finally got to the party, Ruth was completely blown away by the music and colorful lights. She thought she could play for young people at events like this and pitched the idea to her grandson. He introduced her to a French producer, who taught Ruth and selected her style. This is how the DJ “Mami Rock” appeared. Until her last days, Ruth was surrounded by young people, admired and said: “ I don't have the slightest desire to retire. Well, of course, until I drop dead. I prefer to end my days noisily than to drag out a senile existence" Everyone is the architect of their own happiness, the main thing is to want and believe in themselves.
4. Yvonne Dowlen, 88 years old.
Skating is Yvonne's life's work. Already in old age, she was in a car accident, received a serious concussion and was ordered by doctors to put away her skates forever and forget about sports. However, the love for ice turned out to be stronger than the disease. Yvonne put her skates back on, started training, and even took part in competitions. Her words: “When I’m in a bad mood, I look at my peers with their oxygen bags, put on my skates and smile.” This is an example of willpower, love and dedication to one's work.
The pair became famous on Pat's 80th birthday, when he completed 80 parachute jumps in more than six hours. But the couple’s favorite pastime remains traveling. They love to move from country to country, without stopping for a minute, and each time, plunging into a new culture, they replenish their spiritual world with more and more values and impressions. They are not attracted to well-known places. The couple enjoys exploring unexplored corners of different countries.
6. Fauja Singh, over 100 years old.
Fauja Singh is 104 years old. He was a runner in his youth, but life forced him to give up this hobby and concentrate on agriculture. Having experienced terrible pain from the loss of loved ones, Fauja decided that running was the best remedy for depression and old age. He took up the sport again. Now Fauja says he runs 20 miles easily, but the last six he runs and talks to God.
This is the oldest record holder of the London Marathon, completing it in 5.4 hours. His incredible sports spirit and good physical shape give him the opportunity to run in a London park at this age.
7. Monserat Mecho, 81 years old.
More than anything else, Monserat appreciates the feeling of happiness that he experiences when making a parachute jump. Having jumped for the first time at almost 50 years old, she was absolutely not afraid and even performed acrobatic movements. And even in old age he considers free falling to be happiness.
8. Alexander Rosenthal, 98 years old.
Alexander began skiing while still at school. Then, during the war, it was only thanks to skiing that he survived when he fell ill with typhus. Alexander Iosifovich came up with his own skiing system, skiing down the artificial slopes of Moscow three times a week. The very journey to the outskirts of the city on public transport is already a feat for an elderly person. But skiing is happiness for Alexander Rosenthal, who said: “The greatest pleasure is life itself. Alpine skiing is the second.”
9. Nora Brier, 100 years old.
The world learned about Nora Brier when she celebrated her 100th birthday by flying a glider and performing a loop. One of Nora’s daughters is a pilot, and she prepared such an unusual gift for her mother. Nora was very happy with this surprise, as she was used to extreme sports. She celebrated her 80th birthday with a hot air balloon ride, and on her 95th birthday she rode around on a three-wheeled Harley motorcycle.
10. Lloyd Kahn, 80 years old.
Lloyd became interested in skateboarding when he was already 65. He does not perform any tricks, does not skate like teenagers, but remains in excellent athletic shape. For him, skateboarding is not an extreme sport, but a way to enjoy riding along the long streets of a seaside town. Lloyd has his own publishing house, where he publishes books about ecology and runs a self-sufficient household, providing himself with everything he needs.
