Each person chooses his own path. He can cope with any obstacles in his path or, conversely, ruin his life. One of these obstacles is suffering. You need to worry for serious reasons and not for long.
Who are the lucky people? These are the people who control their feelings and do not give in to despair and despondency. and make your wishes come true.
How to free yourself from suffering when you fail
It is not difficult to free yourself from what prevents you from living normally. In this case, it is necessary to find the real reason for the occurrence of this problem. It is not always possible or easy to detect it. Therefore, you cannot do without a complete change in the situation and decisions. You must be fully prepared to complete them. It seems difficult, but you cannot cope without overcoming an internal illness, and after a small improvement, the habits will appear again, but with renewed vigor.
There is a category of people who are self-pitying. They are like this, not because their life is too bad, but because they are pleased with the compassion of their family and friends. This makes their life much easier. The occurrence of this behavior has various reasons. Such people must have the desire to improve and change everything, otherwise, no matter how much they say that they are tired of suffering, they will continue to talk about their difficult life. And those who want to overcome this and rush to the top will not discuss unpleasant things and will focus on positive emotions.
Without mentioning the torment and suffering caused by life's tragedies, we can say that many worry because of groundless fears and unwillingness to be responsible for their actions and behavior. Many sufferers choose such a pitiful and bleak path. It is easier for them to blame unsuccessful actions on circumstances and people around them. And we should take advantage even from unfavorable circumstances.
In this case, there is no point in proving to a person that he is doing wrong or condemning him. The important thing here is that he needs to be saved from the torment that is caused by negative reasons, but he himself must want to change.
To stop experiencing feelings that bring grief, make the following choice and accept yourself for who you really are. Don’t be tormented by reproaches instead of eliminating the reasons that prevent you from changing your life activities.
It is not easy to accept yourself as you have been since birth. Since childhood, we have learned that we need to have certain qualities in our character in order to achieve success and receive the praise and approval of others. But no two people are the same and everyone looks at things differently. Although there are general moral values, in many areas of life we do things based on life views, temperament, and experience.
Each person has his own path and there is no single correct plan for achieving success that unites everyone. We are not alike enough to do everything the same way. Many lose years to become like those who got what they wanted. But they are the ones who do not achieve this. As a result, failure leads to torment, torment and loss of hope. Therefore, you must agree that you are not like others: you have a completely different environment, abilities, preferences. You have your own path that you must walk with dignity.
Everyone’s idea of a prosperous and happy life is based on their own temperament and preferences. So, some people feel comfortable in big cities and want to be famous and wealthy, while others prefer quiet provincial cities and are happy with a good family and an interesting job. Therefore, if you have a different life view of the world than most people, do not strive to achieve their so-called happiness. Do not sacrifice yourself even to satisfy loved ones, because you are responsible for your choice, not them.
Otherwise, you will doom yourself to a miserable and joyless existence.
How to get rid of the thought of suffering
You yourself can make sure that you don’t suffer over trifles. Everything depends on you. Your soul cannot be reprogrammed by anyone but you. So do this for yourself and change your attitude towards yourself and the world.
Someone who loves and respects himself will not allow a person or circumstance to cause him inconvenience. Banish all negative things and forget him. There are no events or people that oblige you to sacrifice your goals so helplessly. Remember that you do not have to suffer because of the bad behavior, insolence and stupidity of others who believe that everyone is in their debt.
It is impossible to be good for all people, therefore, do not strive for this. Don't worry about people being flawed. Focus on more significant tasks that require strength and attention. 
Change your attitude towards people. Nobody owes you anything, and neither do you, by the way. Don't expect appreciation and gratitude when doing noble actions. You do them not for admiration of your personality, but for yourself personally.
Stop placing high demands on others. This will protect you from worries, torment and suffering. Stop tormenting yourself because the world is unkind to you (as you think).
Do you want to reach the heights of successful people? Then carefully study their biography. Of these, you can count few people whose road is strewn with flowers. Many of them went through difficult obstacles that are beyond the capabilities of most people. Don't take the unpleasant situations that happened to you to heart. Take only the benefits from them and minimize the negative effects. Do you know what the power of personality is? It lies in how many times she rose after adversity, failure and defeat, and not in how many successes she was able to achieve.
Successful people are those people who free themselves from unnecessary and incorrect thoughts, things and people. To become more successful and happy, clean up your life.
Think about what negative experiences give you, how they help you fulfill your desires and avoid suffering. If they don't give you anything, you're wasting your time. Don't relive what has already happened. 
There is no past, and it will not affect your life, and the future has not yet arrived. You have the present and you need to live it, taking everything positive from life and not engaging in empty and sad activities - self-flagellation, self-compassion. Don't waste time on these stupid and harmful things, because time is precious and during this period you could do a lot of positive and useful things. Stop tormenting, worrying, suffering and tormenting yourself. Dedicate yourself entirely to your loved ones and live a calm, measured life. Let go of the situation and it will be decided in your favor.
Every situation in life affects a person the way he allows it. Our attitude determines whether we will “enjoy” compassion and empathy for ourselves or use this period of time to get what we intended. Life is short and it goes by quickly. Don't waste your life on empty things.
Suffering harms health and turns people into weak individuals. Direct your energy to, and do not waste time on a aimless and empty life.
Instructions: how to stop torment and suffering
Not happy with life? Then do this: imagine a positive, smart, happy, successful person. Put yourself in his place and do as he would do. Does it seem like a game? Play with anything and you will see that the mental “muscles” that are responsible for suffering change. In return, muscles that give happiness will become toned.
Don't evaluate yourself in the present, but imagine yourself in the future. Character is easy to change. Overcome the fear of losing yourself. You will not lose yourself, but you will become what you imagine yourself to be.
Advice: Perceive the rest as a shape, a color that can be changed. Suffering appears as a dark color, which, if desired, you can turn into a light, cheerful color.
With the help of your will, stop whining, complaining and suffering. Give the command to improve yourself and what you don’t like. Make some effort, because without it it is impossible to become a happy person. Be inspired and don’t despair; when the inspiration passes, don’t stop and keep moving forward towards self-improvement and changing things both inside and around you.
To change your thoughts correctly, answer questions about what you want from life, or what kind of people you care about, or what kind of person you want to be. Then you will understand everything and your mood will change.
Take a piece of paper. Draw two columns. Write down your ideas, desires, dreams in the right column, and in the left column write what you need to implement them. Write down the bullet points and do everything starting today. Don't delay.
During periods when the positive energy in you decreases and pity, suffering, apathy, hopelessness raises its head, in this case, do breathing exercises. Breathe calmer and deeper, distract yourself from painful life issues and concentrate on breathing. You will feel a surge of positive energy, good mood, and hope will fill your soul.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and programming yourself for failure. Think about a bright future and recharge yourself with positive thoughts. Don't suffer and torment yourself because of past things. Still can't change anything. Think that after a while this problem will turn out to be insignificant for you, and you will not remember about it. Set desires, achieve and fulfill them. They will help you forget about the torment and worries. Enjoy life and love it. Take the positives from her and give her positivism. Good luck, success and a happy life!
20 February 2014, 09:56All our suffering in any form is generated by the inability to realize our true Self.
This happens because essentially each of us lives and thinks on autopilot.
What is this autopilot of thinking? The fact is that we constantly go through the facts of the past and look for a certain piquancy in them, which we then savor or experience fear or boredom. Or we begin to strain our thoughts about building the future. Thus, again plunging yourself into stress about whether it will come true or not. And if moment X happens, then in general this will happen... And then our mind draws us a whole movie.
Such a scattering of thinking and the presence of the true Self, in time, knocks the ground out from under your feet and forms life in the style of an autopilot.
Plus there are also traps set called Happiness or Hope, and that’s it... It’s a lost cause.
A lot has been written about the need to be here and now and savor the moment of the present.
Now we are talking about how to get rid of suffering with the help of psychotechnics, which allows us to understand the moment of the present.
In practice, not in theory.
We'll get to it.
We are not distracted much by such concepts as happiness and hope.
What it is?
We are designed in such a way that we strive to avoid pain and gain pleasure. This is built into us. And everyone dreams of some kind of happiness. Everyone has their own.
Someone has a house on the seashore, someone has a wonderful life partner, someone has their own name in Forbes magazine, and so on. Allegedly, when this appears, then I will be happy.
But don't you think this is an illusion?
For happiness is always conditional. There is always a reason for whether it is there or not. Moreover, happiness is always the other side of suffering.
Like, if I'm unhappy, then I'm suffering. And I’m unhappy because I don’t have this and that.
The circle closes.
When I put forward such conditions for happiness, I always have one question: what if there is more? What will happen then? Will there be states torn to pieces with happiness?
And the true friend of happiness is hope.
That's nonsense.
What is hope?
These are dreams that someday in the future everything will be the way we want and plan. No better, no worse. That's exactly it.
That is, it turns out that now nothing in life makes me happy or fulfills me. Right now. And this is the state in which a person finds himself, hoping that in the future everything will be different.
Why on earth?
Have you ever wondered why a person, so to speak, has lost his last hope and immediately gets what he wanted or expected?
Why is that?
The fact is that his mind calmed down, he stopped feeling small and worthless in anticipation and hope of happiness.
One has only to free oneself for a moment from this mind game and instant relief comes.
To understand how to do this, let's make a little technique together.
Imagine a situation regarding the future that stresses you out.
It could be anything, that you will never get married, that you will not earn a comfortable living, that you will not get an education…. Anything that worries you about the future.
What thoughts accompany this experience about the future?
0 – does not hover at all.
And now that you have an assessment, we do the following.
Place your palm in front of you and start looking at it. Consider all the lines, see how the muscles of one finger can contract. Look at it as if it were a completely unfamiliar object, and this is not your hand at all, and in general, you don’t seem to know if this is a hand?
Start touching objects that are nearby. What is the surface of the table? How is it perceived?
Touch yourself.
How does it feel?
Concentrate on the sensations, but do not name them, but experience them as if you had never done it. It’s as if you are an alien and don’t have such a set of concepts and sensations at all.
How does it feel?
Be sure to do this.
It does not take a lot of time.
Do...
Now think about the problem that you rated using a 10-point system.
How many points are there now?
Right now?
Has it decreased or completely dropped to 0?
What happened to you in these seconds?
At the moment when you were immersed in studying the hand, you were right in the here and now. Namely, staying in the present moment frees us from problems.
Moreover, when you live from this position, experiencing every moment as something special that happens to you, you shape your future without shaping it.
That is, the future worries about itself. Since a person a priori cannot get into it. He can only be in this moment and nowhere else.
And due to the fact that in this very moment he suffers because he doesn’t have something or is unhappy, and even if he is happy, then inside him sits the thought that this cannot last forever, then he simply does not live. Because by wanting to get into the future or escape into the past, we create problems and suffering for ourselves.
As the song says: “Life is a moment between the past and the future.” So connect your mind, your consciousness and your awareness to this moment.
And life will begin to change.
Many of us do this at some point and then again fall into the old rut of self-thinking, striving for happiness and all this providing hope for something.
And thus the moment is not really lived.
Practice for 21 days constantly returning from your auto-thought to living the real moment (as with your hand). It is clear that it will not be possible to be in this for all 24 hours from the beginning.
However, start.
When you get up in the morning and brush your teeth, be in the process of brushing your teeth. What does the pasta taste like? How does the toothbrush feel when it touches your teeth and the back of it touches your cheek?
And you will get involved and understand not from the words of smart books, but from your own experience, what it is.
You'll like it. Exactly.
Use psychotechnics showing how to get rid of suffering, and you will understand what and how to do.
And may everything work out for you.
I decided to simplify and streamline my renovation life. Life problems are associated with getting into life situations. What is the situation? Let's give a definition.
A situation or condition is a combination of external influence on a person and his response to this influence
This article presents processing for analyzing situations and getting out of them.
This is a scientific definition. Let's give examples. If there is an external influence, but there is no internal reaction to it, then accordingly you do not get into the situation. For example, a house is burning in the city, but it is not your house and it is far away, so you do nothing about this news. You are not responsible and therefore do not end up in a fire situation. The second option, a house is on fire in the city, it worries you and you call home to find out if everything is okay with your loved ones. In this case, you are in a situation.
Suffering - Three types of attitude to the situation
Next, you can enter the situation either as a victim or as a warrior. In the first case, you find yourself in a situation that consists of external influence and your submissive response to it. A typical example is the situation - you are scared, you are afraid. In this case, you accept external influences and adapt to them. You adjust because you think that this way you can quickly resolve your situation. Of course, this is not always optimal, especially when external influences try to move you to a point where you do not want to be. This is called the victim state.
The second choice is to fight, you do not accept external influences and begin to fight them. You attack the attacking force and find yourself in a fighting state. Of course, you can give examples yourself.
The third choice is to have no internal reaction. This is the situation that I described above using the example of a burning house that is far away and does not bother you. Let's call this state the observer or, more precisely, the owner.
Most likely, the third option is the most painless and profitable.
Sometimes a person mistakenly believes that he is overreacting to external events. In this case, I will advise him to do a little processing for himself and find many examples where external influences do not affect him.
For example, he hears the news about the war in the Middle East and treats it very calmly and simply. There are always times in life when you don't worry or react. Finding such occasions can make you feel in control of your life. That is why I call this state the master. The owner can act, change something, but he does not take over and is not in a state of victim. He maintains a fairly stable inner calm.
Let us once again call these states by their corresponding names - victim, warrior and master.
Most likely, you will want to be in a calm state as much as possible in relation to external influences. In other words, you are aware of the external factor, but you are not worried about it. Let's note that this does not mean “do nothing in relation to the external factor.” You can take the necessary steps, but do so without worry or worry.
Suffering - What is anxiety?
By analogy, we can now clearly understand and define what anxiety is. People often talk about anxiety, but often cannot really define what exactly they are feeling.
Anxiety is a transition from the state of a master to the state of a warrior or a victim. Or the threat of such a transition.
Suffering - Beingness and Action
To better understand this situation, we must separate the two concepts. The first is action and the second is beingness. Action is what you do in the outside world. Beingness is the state in which you do it. Action is crossing the street, Beingness is the state in which you are crossing the street. It makes a difference. Most often, a person worries not because of an action, but because of an unacceptable state or being.
Now let’s formulate the basic rule for finding a situation - an unpleasant situation is accompanied by a shift in a person’s beingness into an area that is undesirable for him. In other words, a person worries not because he has to do something, but because he receives an unwanted internal state or beingness while doing something. If you ask a stranger to do something small for you, he may refuse only because he believes that during the action his beingness will shift to an undesirable area. Simply put, he worries that he will look like someone he doesn't want to be. This is what beingness is - “to feel internally like someone else”
The states listed above - victim, warrior and master - are, in fact, groups of beingnesses. In other words, a person occupies a certain beingness and this beingness relates either to the victim, or to the warrior, or to the master.
Man is a victim when
- he is scared and he is afraid
- he is asked to do something, he doesn’t want to, but does it
- he is forced to experience unwanted emotions and he experiences them.
A man is a warrior when he
- argues
- resists
- fights
A man is the boss when he
- calm
- confidently manages the situation
- achieves success
HOW TO STOP SUFFERING
So far we have described problematic life situations. Let's begin to resolve problematic situations in life. For this we need special processing.
First, let's try to decide where we are. When you start working on this processing, you first identify an area of your life in which you are not doing well. Name this area something and in the future we will work precisely and only with this area.
This and its therapeutic effect are based on the resolution of confusion.
A person suffers not because of difficulties, but because of the confusion that they cause in his life. When a person does not know how to resolve a complexity, he becomes more or less confused. A person's suffering is caused by confusion, not by the difficulties themselves. In other words, a person suffers not because of problems, but because he does not know how to solve them. This principle is very important in the areas of human spiritual healing and related processing. In fact, it is based on very deep principles of spiritual being. When a spiritual being does not know how to act, it devalues its existence. It begins to think worse about itself and this is precisely what suffering is. The basis of suffering lies in the idea of oneself as a negative creature. To partially experience suffering in its purest form, simply think of yourself as a bad creature, and try to feel your sincere sensations. In this case, we are talking exclusively about mental suffering.
So, we begin by identifying an area of life in which we experience discomfort, some kind of suffering.
We then need to identify the details or factors involved in creating this area. Often people simply give in to suffering and cannot clearly understand what causes it. And to stop suffering, it is simply necessary to understand. Our processing gives you a framework by which you can organize and understand an area of your life. And only after such analysis, clarification of the main factors, suffering in this area will stop. And this will happen in accordance with the rule that says that suffering is not caused by the problem itself, but by confusion about how to solve it or how to act.
Now we identify the factor of external interference or pressure. It is very important. There is always an external factor present in a problem area. These are the actions or attempts or intentions of another person or group of people or some other source directed in our direction and seeking to change our condition. Identifying these factors is essential. Otherwise, we will talk about some abstract suffering and, accordingly, we will continue to be confused. Unfortunately, many people continue to abstain from this step for various reasons and continue to perceive their suffering as karma or fate. I suggest you get out of their number and understand the area that is causing you suffering.
You have already identified the external factor in your situation and now you need to give it a name. This technique is very close to naming things or assigning names to them. Perhaps this is not accidental. Try to give the name as general as possible.
So, I repeat again, at the second step of processing we determine the external influence. Briefly, this step is referred to as EXTERNAL FACTOR.
Important note - many spiritual leaders will suggest the following things to you:
look inside yourself
start with yourself
change yourself
They simply prevent you from understanding the area and finding the external factor influencing you. Please understand that you are okay. Are you okay. Your only problem is that you are confused in the concepts and have not sorted everything out. The problem is not your nature, it is your confusion.
The third step of spiritual processing is to figure out how you react to external factors. In general, the choice is this - you either fight or give up. We are not considering the owner option, since if you were the owner, the problem area simply would not exist.
But such a general classification - warrior or victim - is often not enough for successful processing. We need to do more. Once you have determined who you are, determine more precisely what rule you are guided by in this situation.
For example, if you have determined that you are a victim, then let's make a list of the exact rules that you may be using. These could be rules or calculations, for example.
If I give up, then everything will pass
If I'm weak, then they won't touch me
If I contradict, it will only get worse and so on.
In the end, you must determine the one calculation that is most correct. This will be your key to completely resolving the situation.
At the fourth step of processing, you will try to trace when you first started using this calculation. Record information about this situation. Then try to find out whether it is possible that such an idea came to you from someone else. Maybe someone gave you this idea or taught you. Remember the details of this event.
After these steps, you will be able to look at the problem area in a completely different way. You may need another pass, again identifying the external factor, then your reaction and then your calculation and finally tracing its origins. But now everything will be much simpler for this one.
HOW TO STOP SURVING - A DEEP SOLUTION OR PROCESSING FOR WORKING WITH DUALITIES
Do you want to understand the problem deeper?
Then you have a few more things to do. We now want to understand what kind of beingness you accept in this conflict. You will need to think a little and determine the answers to two questions
Who influences you? and Who are you?
Most often, in order to fully answer these questions, the help of a consultant is needed, but you can do a lot yourself. Try to find the most general wording for each question. For example, for the first question it could be a relative or a boss or the government. Or it may happen that you want to name this factor as - the one who is always pursuing or something similar. Everything will be right. For the second question it could be someone who is hiding or a family man or a child and so on. Try to make the wording as general as possible. Avoid specific names, and find states. This will help subsequent processing. If you did everything correctly, then you have found your duality for the present time and now you can work with it a little. You can always work with dualities on your own.
How to work with dualities?
SUFFERING - WORKING WITH DUALITIES
In this part of processing, imagine yourself as each pole of this duality. The poles of duality are states or beings opposing each other. You imagine yourself a little in one pole, and then imagine yourself in the other pole, and so on alternately for some time. You continue this way until you feel that these poles merge or dissolve one by one. At this point you can stop working with this duality.
That's all. This is all you need to know and be able to do to stop suffering in life. Let me remind you again of the whole sequence
You find an external factor - here you may need some intelligence or help. Sometimes it is not easy to detect the outer area as it may be hidden.
Do you find yourself to be a victim or a warrior type?
You discover your calculation
Do you remember the first time the idea of such a calculation came to you?
You find duality
You are working through duality
You find an area of suffering
And here are the main ideas underlying this processing:
Suffering is not about difficulties, but about confusion
Continued suffering is closely related to the lack of a clear vision of the factors involved in the situation
Deep resolution of suffering in the area of life is associated with the processing of dualities
Happy processing and success in life
It seems to us that we suffer or experience dissatisfaction when we lack something, and we take such an internal background for granted.
“How can you be happy without love? Or without children?“- the girl thinks, justifying her inner chaos and putting the search for her husband at the forefront.
“How can one be satisfied without material epithets in the form of a car and an apartment?”- the man argues, saving every penny and taking out a loan.
These throwings are usually understandable, and discussing them is not so interesting. In principle, in some cases, such dissatisfaction can be a good incentive to develop and reach a new level. Or maybe it won't. Depends on a person.
Something else is curious - what happens to that same girl when she finally gets married? And with a man who already has the basic set in his life? Do they become happy?
Why do so many of them never find complete satisfaction? What are they missing since they got what they wanted? And why are there people who are happy even without such important components?
What is the secret, for example, of a happy but unmarried girl? Is she pretending? Is there something she doesn't understand in this life? Is she a fool? She has not listened to lectures on the interpretation of the Vedas and simply does not know that a woman “cannot” be happy without a husband?
I want to be understood correctly - this does not mean that she doesn’t want to meet a congenial man and start a family, I'm only saying that she's happy, even if she hasn't met her yet. Yes, this happens. This is a healthy psyche.
And what is the essence of a man’s satisfaction? In borscht, in sex, in a car, in money? Also in love, maybe? Why do some people have all the above points, but there is no stable harmony inside? Why are there those who, even without some of these points, live without suffering? Again, this does not mean that they do not strive for this, it is just that their movement along the path occurs without internal sadness over the fact that this has not yet entered their life.
Exactly behind the question: “I’m 30, I don’t have a husband and never had one, how can I become loved?” another question comes: “I have a husband, two children, everything is fine, but there is no time for self-development and experiments, I don’t like my job, but it’s too late to rush around, what should I do?”
And it would be okay if this happened once. This happens all the time. For each “I suffer because I have no family” comes “I have a wonderful family, but I still suffer, help.”
I guarantee it's not just a coincidence.
It is at this moment that it is useful to take off the blinders from your eyes and see the similarity of situations in different people (rather than closing yourself off from reality with thoughts that “I am special, things will be different for me”): happiness does not lie in marriage, not in certain things or needs, many people continue to suffer even when all their sincere desires are satisfied.
What's the matter?
I also justified my suffering when it was the result of the absence of some important component in my life: it is logical to suffer when you do not have the means to realize your ideas or love, as I thought before. But fortunately I had the courage to admit that There were also periods when I got everything I strived for: and excellent mutual relationships, and a favorite activity at that time, and enough money, and happy health, and travel, but there was no complete satisfaction: everything was fine - literally everything, but something continued to itch inside. After the first euphoria from satisfying needs, the suffering returned.
It was very strange, because there was literally no reason to suffer.
Then, years ago, I simply tried not to pay attention to it, considering it “some kind of whim.” Today I can give a definition to this, because I have learned what contentment and life without suffering are, even when not all life’s issues are closed.
I responsibly declare: life without suffering is possible. This is her natural state.
You don't experience suffering when you do your best in a given period of time (and you know it). And it doesn’t matter what stage of life you are at.
If you move in the direction of your desires at the proper speed, revealing your talents and skills to the fullest, there is no place for suffering within you, it is replaced by satisfaction.
You may have practically zero results in all areas of life, but if you move towards your own maximum realization at full speed and understand this (which is very important), then you will be calm and satisfied right in the current moment.
If you weigh a hundred kilograms, but you change your diet and start regular training with maximum efficiency, you will stop suffering at that very moment, although it will take years before a real change in your physical shape occurs.
It's the same in relationships. And in money. And in action. In anything. Where is the key “do your best in the chosen direction, and you will not suffer”.
And vice versa:
No matter how many victories, savings, love and children you have, but if you move through life with at a much lower speed than your potential allows l - you will experience suffering. Moreover the more you are given, the sharper your throwing will be. You will look at others who are satisfied with smaller volumes than you and will try to persuade yourself to calm down and reduce your ambitions, but most likely nothing will come of it.
Unfulfilled potential hurts.
If you are a lion who works in the Moscow Zoo, if you are an antelope who lives in a one-room apartment, if you are an eagle in a cage, if you are a deep-sea fish stranded, you are guaranteed internal itching, even if you close all your social needs in in the form of family, entertainment and basic security.
If you are a deep-sea fish, all you can do is dive to your natural depth. There is the absence of suffering, and like-minded people, and answers to all your questions. No one knows how long this dive will take and whether you will have enough strength, one thing is for sure: if you are interested in serious depth, it is not a year or two. Need more time. I can say from personal experience - .
Yes, each of us has different talents and inclinations, different internal capacity (and our task, by the way, is to increase it). But the indicator is always the same - if there is suffering, especially suffering that appears to be unreasonable, it means that you are not working hard enough in this life (in all areas). This means you are capable of more.
To be more specific, the average person does not realize even 25% of his natural abilities.
You don't experience suffering when you do your best in a given period of time (and you know it). And at any stage of life.
How to stop suffering?
1. Do your best at every stage
To stop suffering, you need to spend your energy, not save. Reveal your talents, and not try to hide behind the backs of others. Demand more for your contribution, and not be satisfied with little. Take any master in his field, preferably a world-class one, and here is a ready-made illustration of what is meant. He takes a lot, does even more, doesn’t stop, continues to improve. Moreover, there is a family and children. This applies to both men and women.
I remember at one time, when I was already close to leaving the islands, I was simply stunned by the realization that not a single person I admire from the world of art, writing, music or the world of business is not a single master from my personal inspiration list - doesn't live on the islands. Why? Maybe his millions in fees are not enough to organize his life there? Or maybe he is such a fool that he simply does not see such an opportunity, or is he so weak that he cannot get rid of workaholism and live a relaxed life? The fact of the matter is that people don’t become masters out of weakness, but they go to the islands regularly... (although not all cases illustrate this). Such masters are all, without exception, deep-sea fish who live with the priorities of maximum impact and life drive here and now.
2. Look pain in the eye
The only way to increase your internal capacity (read: “start diving”) is to pass the through suffering I. Don’t run away shouting “this is probably not mine,” don’t hide behind your surroundings, don’t read smart books - but look suffering in the eyes, shake its hand and continue moving in the chosen direction at the proper speed. As a rule, the pain is shocked by such impudence and quickly runs away.
While you are running away from pain, it always comes to your heels. But as soon as you meet her halfway, you will discover that she simply does not exist. Any martial arts master will tell you this.
In general, the most vulnerable place of all people is the fear of pain. And those who know how to deal with this fear move several times faster than everyone else, and therefore suffer less. While 95% of the population is terrified of the possibility of facing pain and takes a step back in their aspirations, the remaining few live the way they like, having learned to regularly step outside their comfort zone and welcome suffering as equals.
3. Set clear goals
Maximum speed and recoil is possible with a clear vector. You won't be able to keep the rhythm if the direction is not indicated. Set specific goals for each step of the way - be it a five-year period or the current week - and do everything to fulfill them, then there will be no suffering there's just no time to think.
Goals are only marks on the way. They are not by ourselves. They can be changed, edited, or new ones added. This is not a story about a mission or purpose, it is a vector of your current day, which allows you to discover new facets of yourself through the development of the proper speed of movement.
For example, do you have clear goals for the current week?
If suddenly not, then what missions in life can we talk about? Then it's just too early. First, decide on the current year, month and week. What actually happens in the “here and now” segment of your life and where it leads, and then more. The mission is Everest, if you have never climbed the mountains, you will not conquer the largest peak. And if you’ve already gone many times, that’s also not a fact. A real mission is something that can be achieved through years of conscious life if you put every effort into it.
We suffer when we do not apply our natural charge in the right direction. Essentially, if we don't move in every sense, then we rust. But random movement will not give the proper return, which is also important. And goals (in fact, any meaningful and pleasant goals for us) make it possible to feel interchange with the world: I - to the world, the world - to me. I don't just consume, I give just as much. The circle is closed. There is no suffering in him.
Olesya Vlasova
P.S. I don’t congratulate you on the upcoming holiday and I don’t wish you everything for now. We'll hear again. I have one spontaneous tradition - to make a big special issue of Solyanochka on New Year’s Eve with personal thanks, first of all, to the people who helped me. This year will be no exception. Both people and the main finds of the year - I’m preparing the pre-New Year, final issue of the newsletter. Subscribe if you haven't already.
