Situation No. 1
The employee forces the director to make a decision urgently, “on the run,” so as not to waste time and energy on a detailed conversation in his office. How to counter this?
Employees can manipulate their superiors only if the superiors themselves allow it, if the intellectual level of the director is lower than that of his subordinates. Once you sign the paper “on the go”, expect the employee to sit on your neck and discuss work issues with you anywhere (in the corridor, on the street), just not in the office. Personally, I don’t allow this: until I get acquainted with the document, until the information contained in it settles in my head, I will never sign. If a subordinate begins to manipulate his boss, it means that he is trying to minimize his efforts when doing work. I suppress such attempts, but not in a rude manner. I say: excuse me, if you do not think that your question deserves a detailed discussion, then I have a different opinion. And I set a time at which I am ready to receive the employee in my office.
Situation No. 2
A subordinate comes to his boss with a good idea, but refuses to draw up a detailed plan for its implementation, personally guaranteeing a worthy result. Should we trust such a “guarantor”?
There can be no personal guarantees. President Boris Yeltsin gave guarantees, “put his head on the rails” as proof that he would fulfill his promises. However, as we remember, things did not go beyond words. You cannot take an employee’s word for it, because behind the refusal to draw up a clear plan for project implementation lies the desire to avoid personal responsibility. In such cases, I gather a technical council to convey to all its members the idea of a new project. I make sure to distribute responsibilities, because one person, no matter how professional he is, will not be able to cope with the task. If there is no work plan, then the proposed idea is a fiction and there is no point in wasting time talking with its creator.
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| Sergey Chirkov, director of the Eurosnek company |
Situation No. 3
An employee constantly complains about his difficult family situation in order to beg for time off, vacation, or a flexible work schedule. Pity is followed by blackmail - resentment, missed deadlines, threat of dismissal, and so on. How to deal with this?
In such a situation, counter-manipulation on the part of the director should be used. I try to translate an emotional conversation with an employee into a business direction. First, I praise my subordinate: yes, you are a valuable employee, you worked for a year and a half without vacation and, by law, you have every right to it. But this month I cannot let you go, because I have not yet found a worthy replacement for you. Let's agree for next month? In any case, the director’s position is stronger, you just need to use it wisely - put yourself in the position of your employee, thus arousing respect for yourself, and then calmly, without unnecessary emotions, justify your decision.
Situation No. 4
The employee understands that he is faced with a difficult task and tries to shift responsibility to his boss. It all starts with a request for help, but it soon gets to the point where the subordinate really doesn’t make any effort to solve the problem. How to resist this?
If the situation began to unfold in this way, it means that at the initial stage of distribution of responsibilities the manager made a mistake. To prevent this from happening, everything must be agreed upon “on shore.” You should definitely familiarize your subordinate with the golden rule of completing a task, which includes three points:
1. Responsibility for completing the task lies with the employee from the moment he is vested with the appropriate powers.
2. The subordinate is responsible for timely reporting on the execution of the task.
3. In the event of unforeseen obstacles, the employee is obliged to:
a) assess whether he can overcome them;
b) if he can, then accept sole responsibility;
c) if an employee decides that it is impossible to overcome obstacles, he is obliged to promptly notify the manager about this;
d) in the case of point “c”, the manager evaluates:
- the degree of the complication that has arisen and shares responsibility for completing the assigned task efficiently and on time;
- the employee’s ability to find independent solutions in difficult situations and his general professional competence.
How to free yourself from the manipulations of “irreplaceable” workers?
Remember the famous dialogue between Ostap Bender and Pound in “The Golden Calf” by Ilf and Petrov?
“You don’t need a chairman?
- Which chairman?
- Official. In a word, the head of the institution.
- I am the head myself.
- So, you are going to serve time yourself? That's what they would have said right away. Why have you been fooling me for two hours now?”
This scene very well reflects all the realities of our reality. Have you encountered situations where, driven to extremes, angry at the laziness or huge demands of his manager, the manager threatened him with immediate dismissal. And the subordinate, confident in his own irreplaceability and infallibility, sarcastically clarified: “Boss, won’t you change your mind”?
Are you familiar with the situation when you have to beg an employee to go on a business trip, or to come to work on a non-working day, promising him double payment for this favor? Or, for example, this situation. Your subordinate has a habit of periodically being late for work, and in response to your comments he threatens not to come to work at all. Or he says: “Fire me, whatever!” And now you already feel all the horror of this situation, because tomorrow you will have to do all the work of this subordinate tomorrow?
There are worse situations. In our client’s company, top-level employees told the manager that if he refused to comply with their conditions, then he would work himself. And the condition was a considerable amount of annual bonuses.
Why do business owners, seasoned wolves who ate the dog in their business, allow their “valuable” employees to sit on their necks and show outright impudence?
The reason is simple - they cannot fire them, because they are afraid that they cannot do without these workers. These are good shots. They know the market, clients, company (you can substitute any) better than others. And because of this, leaders are forced to bend and make numerous concessions and compromises.
By following this pattern and delegating some of the powers to your top managers, including making important decisions, you can get to the point where you will soon have to share your dividends with such employees. And soon, by the company itself. For human needs are limitless.
So, let's get to the bottom of this problem. We are dealing with the dependence of the owner and the company on “irreplaceable” workers. There are two reasons for this dependence:
- failure to recruit or recruit employees;
- lack of training of employees in their job responsibilities and functions;
Let's look at this in more detail. There is a well-established, but nevertheless erroneous opinion that an organization needs to recruit staff only when one of the current employees leaves or a new branch is opened. Managers wait until the last minute to recruit new staff and are often worried about hiring newcomers, since this creates additional costs.
It gets to the point that managers do not hire staff until the critical moment when the lack of staff begins to threaten the survival of the company. As the company grows and there is more work to do, this approach to recruitment is fatal. Company employees are becoming increasingly overworked, productivity and efficiency are falling. Instead of growth, the company comes to a state of stagnation.
Without a reserve in the form of trainees, the manager has to stick to prof. unsuitable employees because there are no others. In such conditions, the manager tries to retain any employee at any cost, even if it becomes obvious that this employee is more trouble than he is worth. And, it would seem, the circle is closing. But someone still finds another job.
What does a leader do? He advertises for recruitment and announces a competition to fill the vacancy. After some time, the new employee arrives and gets to work. But for some reason his work doesn’t work out. It turns out that this employee is not professionally suitable. He gets fired. The tender is announced again, and a week later a new employee appears again. Thus, there is a month-long downtime for this department, when the work was not performed or was performed poorly.
However, even after placing a new productive employee in the post, the company may face a new problem: the predecessor did not leave any recommendations or instructions on how to do the job in this post.
It turns out that the new employee will have to build this communication anew, using trial and error. And by the time he finally figures it out, he suddenly decides that this job is not quite like his dream job. The circle closes and the whole cycle repeats itself again. As a result of this, the work in the company is getting worse and worse, the quality of the company’s product (or service) is decreasing, the company begins to lose its customers, income is falling, and losses, on the contrary, are growing
A simple rule that needs to be learned once and for all is that under-recruitment leads to low employee productivity because it forces you to hang on to unfit or unproductive staff members.
So what can you do to avoid this? There is a simple solution: constantly recruit and train staff.
For example, you can create a division of trainees (employees with a probationary period). Part of their working time, trainees must study, and part of their time must work in those departments of the company that do not require specific knowledge and skills.
This will help select personnel more effectively and efficiently; there will be a chance to see how a particular intern works, how fast, independent, smart, and productive he is. No amount of hiring tests or interviews will tell you that.
Moreover, the idea of creating a trainee unit has one significant advantage– this is a kind of veiled reminder for existing employees, allowing the manager to discipline the team. Try it, be bold, or be late for work when two or three almost trained interns are vying for your place!
Well, let's summarize:
1. Rule No. 1 - continuous recruitment of new personnel./p>
2. Rule No. 2 - training in work skills and internship in the company. Rule three – transfer of accumulated experience, or the rule of the hat.
What is a “hat”?
In the course of its work, any organization accumulates certain experience, knowledge, and know-how. This experience and know-how accumulates at every position in the organization. And so that this knowledge and experience is not lost during personnel rotation, they must be recorded in the so-called “hats” of employees. The hat is the materials with the help of which the one who takes over the post is taught.”
Undoubtedly, you are an excellent specialist (otherwise would you have received a promotion?), but the problem is your lack of management experience. In such a situation, anyone will begin to panic, because subordinates are not just a pleasant bonus to a new position, but very important people on whom the development of your career largely depends. The most important thing is to pull yourself together. It is quite possible to cope with this problem.
AMONG YOURSELF
Maria(26) She worked as a sales manager in a cosmetics company for four years, and when she was appointed head of the department, she had no doubt about her success. Relations with colleagues were good, but everything turned out to be not so simple. “Fearing that they would think that I was arrogant, I decided to remain my boyfriend to everyone: I forgave being late, and was sympathetic to the need to take a day off or delay a report,” the girl recalls. — As a result, the subordinates sat on the neck. The company’s sales fell, and I had to urgently change my behavior.”On the one hand, Maria chose the right tactics. After all, dramatically changing the way you communicate with people who are used to being equal with you is a sure way to gain ill-wishers. On the other hand, the girl made a typical mistake - she began to indulge her subordinates in everything. “Reducing the distance between the boss and his employees is perceived by some employees as permission to shirk their job responsibilities. And one of the talents of a leader is to be able to determine the length of this distance. It’s ideal if the boss limits himself to neutral vocabulary and an official communication style,” comments Tatyana Dolyakova, CEO of the PennyLanePersonnel recruiting agency.
The boss simply does not have the right to be too soft.
“In such a situation, your colleagues will either sit on your neck, or take advantage of your weakness and bypass you at the turn. The one who is not afraid to seem like a stricter boss will sit in the coveted chair instead of you,” adds psychologist Eva Veselnitskaya.
Troubles can also arise if, before being appointed to a leadership position, you communicated closely with colleagues: you talked about fun adventures in bars, and even told someone your family secrets. The basic rule of a careerist is to work at work, and not share details of your personal life. Subordinates who know not only the weaknesses of their leader, but also the juicy details of his biography, cannot take their boss seriously.
The psychologist warns: you need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to rebuild relationships, become more detached - stop discussing personal experiences with colleagues. By the way, you yourself have probably noticed: the higher a person’s position, the less employees know about him.
IN A STRANGER CIRCLE
In the sixth year of work as an ordinary auditor Elena(29) I realized that I was ready to continue to grow professionally. But the company made it clear to her that the prospects for promotion were vague. The girl sent out her resume and soon received the position of financial director in another company.“It turned out that I took the place of everyone’s beloved boss, who moved to a new place of work,” says Elena. “And the whole team looked at me like I was a stranger. They communicated with me coldly, ignored my comments, and took new proposals with hostility. For the first six months, I came to work as if it were an exam—my subordinates were tested for strength literally every day. In the end, I finally passed the test, but how difficult it was!”
Experts consider Elena’s strategy to be the most correct: if you have become a boss in a close-knit team, you cannot immediately try to destroy the old foundations. “Only a daily constant demonstration of one’s skills and competencies will disarm the most ardent full-time aggressors,” says Tatyana Dolyakova. In such a situation, it would be nice to learn simple rules of self-presentation. For example, dress in accordance with the accepted dress code, monitor your speech literacy. It is also important to remember all employees by name as soon as possible. Calmly, taking your time to prove to your subordinates your worth as a leader. It will gradually become clear how professional each of your employees is, who is more of a leader, who shares your thoughts and goals, and who does not. In a word, you need to look for like-minded people. Eva Veselnitskaya advises starting to communicate with your horizontal peers, that is, with the heads of other departments. When you need to get used to a new status, this is the best way to “get into character.”
THE YOUNGEST
When Rita(27) took the position of chief designer of a furniture company, she was given the task of bringing new technologies to the business. The talented girl was full of enthusiasm, but her subordinates did not share it. “The youngest of them was 40, the eldest was 59. I seemed young and inexperienced to them, they were sincerely perplexed why I was sent to lead them,” the girl recalls. “I was exhausted, trying to explain why now it’s impossible to do the same as 10 years ago, but they just chuckled condescendingly and responded to my respectful “you” with nothing other than “baby.” It unsettled me, and every day I lost confidence in myself...”According to the psychologist, Rita initially began to build communication with her subordinates incorrectly. You should not allow yourself to be addressed as “you” or simply by your first name. After all, this is an office, not a meeting with older relatives. Of course, there are exceptions when people, for example, in creative professions, easily turn to each other, regardless of age and status. But if this is not accepted in your company, do not allow familiarity. “Marivanna,” who once again called you Lenochka, can gently say: “Sorry, but I’m Elena Nikolaevna!” Composure in this situation is the main weapon,” says Eva Veselnitskaya.
Don’t forget about such an important tool as compliments. Find your employees' strengths and celebrate them. Add also that, having mastered new technologies, subordinates will be able to more clearly demonstrate their professionalism. It is important that they can be convinced: the young leader did not come to destroy everything, but to build something new and better, and together with old employees. This approach will help prove to colleagues who are confident in the ideality of the old school that changes are necessary. “In conditions of reorganization, the age of the boss is not of fundamental importance. The main thing is his professionalism and leadership qualities,” sums up Tatyana Dolyakova.
GUIDE TO ACTION
There is no doubt that over time you will acquire all the necessary professional skills. Therefore, at the initial stage, it is important to first of all pay attention to your psychological mood.“Try by any means to restore inner peace, do not commit hasty and fussy actions, formulate a plan of consistent actions for yourself, defining exactly what the outcome should be,” advises Eva Veselnitskaya. The success of a young boss largely depends on whether the person has the courage to admit his shortcomings.
It is also worth remembering that it is important for a newly appointed manager to win the sympathy of employees. Psychologists assure: positive psychological contact in most cases simplifies mutual understanding, and therefore speed and accuracy of work. From the very first day, the boss needs to learn to show and develop his leadership qualities, to inspire the team to great deeds at work. The main thing is, when you become a boss, do not doubt your abilities. If you were appointed to the position, it means they are confident in your professional qualities. And remember: there is nothing wrong with a young leader feeling awkward in a new position. But it is important to determine the cause of the uncertainty. Understand whether you basically want to be a boss, whether you are focused on a vertical career, or whether you prefer a horizontal one.
In the latter case, by the way, there is nothing wrong either - it just means that you are more comfortable being responsible only for yourself.
If you are still ready for vertical growth, then, as Alexey Zakharov, president of the recruiting portal Superjob.ru, advises, you can fill in the gaps by receiving additional education or signing up for training.
The main mistakes of a novice boss
1 Distribute useless tasks so that subordinates do not sit idle. Realizing that the work was done in vain, they will begin to perceive the boss as a tyrant and a despot. And soon they will stop carrying out important assignments.2 Be superficial and believe that the main task is to lead,
and let highly specialized specialists delve into the details. The more regularly your subordinates notice your incompetence, the faster their respect disappears.
3 Go to the other extreme - try to control all the nuances of employees’ work.
4 ACCEPT ONLY YOUR OWN POINT OF VIEW. A GOOD BOSS IS ABLE SOMETIMES (BUT OF COURSE NOT OFTEN!) TO ADMIT HIS WRONG.
TEXT: Ekaterina Babkova
I always repeat: “I am not the last, but the first letter in the alphabet.” Selfishness, like all other qualities, is useful in moderation.
Self-love is a must for any girl. But, unfortunately, I increasingly meet girls who complain that a man sat on their head or neck and dangled their legs.
It is surprising that even those girls who say they love themselves often fall into these networks.
How to find and maintain a balance between narcissism and adequate boundaries? I have collected 7 secrets for you on how to prevent sitting on your head.
So remember - write it down!
Learn to say “NO”
I’m sure you’ve heard more than once, and you yourself have found yourself in stories when “it was somehow inconvenient to refuse him.”
And a thousand reasons were found to force, force yourself to do something that doesn’t concern you at all, to buy something that you don’t need at all, etc.
Our mothers were raised differently. If they have been explained something or helped in some way, they feel obligated to give an answer.
This same pattern of behavior was copied into their relationship. Many women believe that by giving a nice gift a man wants to get a kickback. And best of all in bed.
Learn to refuse!
If a man pays attention to you and gives you gifts, and in return DEMANDS something, especially harshly and persistently, your firm “no” is your absolute right and the guarantee of your psychological health.
Give-Take Balance
I have said more than once that normal healthy relationships are based on interaction.
A woman and a man invest different energies into a relationship. She creates comfort, takes care of the children, thinks through and organizes vacations, but he provides for the family and plans the future.
When day after day, year after year, you feel like you're investing so much more into the relationship than he is.
And then you were overcome by chronic fatigue, exhaustion, despondency - the balance of power in your relationship is fundamentally wrong.
Think, maybe there is a certain person who is attracted to your inner state.
Try talking to a man. Choose the right time for this. Some people are very outraged by this: “You can’t ride up to him on a lame goat, and even guess the time!”
Honey, this is all in your best interest. Agree, it’s easier for a well-fed and satisfied man to perceive any information from you on a Saturday evening.
Especially when you serve it.
Do not be sorry
Pity and guilt will not make your man a champion. They literally castrate man's dignity, self-esteem and the ability to achieve goals.
Feeling sorry for the man, you invite him: “Get comfortable! Here is my neck, here is my strong shoulder and strong back!
This happens very slowly, almost imperceptibly, but surely.
To be honest, it’s not easy to fight the feeling of pity for a man, because all this is work on yourself.
Yes, yes, don't be surprised! Blocking the feeling of pity is still difficult!
I will not stop saying that the ability to trust is one of the most important qualities of a professional woman. Only if you trust a man do you give him the opportunity to take responsibility.
And one more thing: stop inspiring men!
Don't listen to whining
If you often come across people who complain and whine all the time, congratulations, you have a very “positive environment” that definitely motivates you to develop.
The trouble is if your man constantly complains about the lack of work, low salaries and a bad president. And if he also knows exactly how to fix it and what to do about it, it’s just a disaster.
If this happens once and for a short time, there is no reason to worry: everyone has difficult periods. From such moments, your man needs your faith in him.
A decent man will not lie on the couch and rant about how bad life is.
The main thing is that you don’t do that either.
As part of compliments
All my students know how to properly compliment a man. They learn to discover their femininity, understand their desires and interact with men in my unique free online course.
The remaining girls, as a rule, are divided into two large groups.
The first believe that compliments to men are useless, that only women can and have the right to receive compliments from men.
Praise should be moderate. Compliments should be appropriate.
An abundance of compliments can really elevate his ego to the level of a god and he will want you to worship him.
On the other hand, a lack of compliments is also a problem.
I repeat once again: a man needs to be praised objectively and with delight!
Stinginess with compliments, pleasant words, and emotions is equal to emotional dullness. This is an inability to exchange emotions, which for a woman can turn into a disaster.
The million dollar question
A woman should not have anything on her neck, at most an elegant feminine adornment and no dangling legs :) Let's now talk about earthly things, about material things: about money.
If a man demands that you pay utilities, a mortgage, refuel his car and yours, pay for children, this is not just an alarm bell. This is the death knell for your relationship.
This is a rogue that you just need to run away from now!
I have already said what awaits the woman who lives.
It is in the interests of a worthy man to make sure that you are not nervous about paying for utilities or wondering how much to save from your salary for new shoes.
First impressions don't have a second chance
Coco Chanel's original quote became famous because it is so relevant.
The first impression is the foundation of your future relationship.
And it’s true that it will be almost impossible to change your image in the eyes of a man.
If you don’t want to carry a man on your fragile shoulders, behave accordingly already on the first date. He will merge - if he is a poor man, he will stay for a long time - if he is a worthy man.
What to do if you are already in a relationship and the man sat on your head from the very beginning or did it over time?
There are two good news.
The first is to break off the relationship. The second is to change. Most likely, you do not behave like a professional woman, which is why it is not an unworthy man who is nearby.
With faith in you
Yaroslav Samoilov.
But lately, communication with them has left an increasingly unpleasant aftertaste. The requests are getting weird. In response to my offer to pay her for the purchase of a cabinet for her room after renovation, they sent me links to choose from, where chic mirrored wardrobes cost from 40 to 60 thousand. After all, I took funds from the family budget, thinking that I was helping poor and needy people. I can't pay for such luxury purchases! My daughter’s locker is several times cheaper. But they rejected what I proposed and didn’t like it.
Then they started writing to me about despair and suicide, because all my classmates had iPhones and they were teasing me. My last request - help me buy a purebred puppy for 6 thousand, otherwise I have no one to communicate with. She explained for a long time that such a puppy requires constant investment of funds, vaccinations, and special care. feeding, vitamins. Where do you get that kind of money, if you and your grandmother are constantly in need, is everything paid for by either social security or volunteers or people like me? I myself have two absolutely free cats that I picked up on the street, why don’t you just take a good poor dog if you need a friend, and not a status dog from a glamorous magazine?
The girl was offended. And I am plagued by doubts. Help me figure out what this is? Whims? The desire to use others to the fullest? Or have I taught myself that I can fulfill any desire? I rummaged here on the Internet, it turns out that many, many people are helping them, volunteers collected funds for repairs, social security allocated money for materials, the girl is constantly sent to camps, trips, local party organizations bought her a computer and a piano, and send her to a sanatorium with her grandmother. Maybe they are just used to the fact that everyone owes and is obliged to them?
They say he did good, let him go into the water. But I also don’t want to become a sucker who is cunningly used. What do you think?
