“The Gifts of Imperfection.” Psychologist and researcher Brené Brown discovers the secrets of people living full and happy lives, and in her book she comes to the conclusion that recognizing and accepting one’s own vulnerability is one of them.
I think about this a lot, I thought about it even before reading the book. Because for me, admitting and demonstrating my vulnerability is a step that requires enormous effort and courage. This doesn't always work out. More often than not it doesn't work out at all. But I try, because I am sure that vulnerability is the key to selfhood and individuality, and also in many ways the key to truly close relationships.
I want to talk about this, but in order not to get lost in my own reasoning and not give rise to fruitless discussions, I will start with boring definitions, but necessary for understanding the entire text.
Having scoured the entire Internet, I found Ozhegov and Efremova’s definitions of the word “vulnerable,” but did not find “vulnerability.” And both dictionaries define “vulnerable” through the synonyms “vulnerable” and “weak,” which seems to me to simplify the essence and not reveal it.
But Wikipedia’s definition seemed very accurate to me.
« Vulnerability- a parameter characterizing the possibility of causing damage to the described system of any nature by certain external means or factors. Vulnerability is inextricably linked with the characteristic “survivability.”
Survivability, in turn, is defined as “the ability of a technical device, structure, means or system to perform its basic functions, despite the damage received.”
I liked these definitions because together they capture the deep essence of vulnerability. This is not weakness, sensitivity or even vulnerability. Vulnerability is an integral part, the essence of the human body, vitality. Vulnerability means that this organism is alive and can be damaged by various external means. But another integral part of the human body (and this is very important!) is survivability - the ability to recover, live, and perform basic functions despite the damage received.
Very often you can find the use of the words “weakness”, “sensitivity”, “vulnerability”, “insecurity”, “openness” as synonyms for vulnerability, but terminologically in the context of this material this is incorrect. A person may not have any of the listed qualities in their everyday understanding, but he will remain vulnerable, it’s only a matter of the quality and quantity of damage inflicted on him.
Remember the wonderful ancient Greek legend about Achilles, whom his mother, the sea goddess Thetis, bathed in the waters of the sacred river, thus making him invulnerable and immortal. And only the heel by which she held the baby, dipping him into the water, did not receive magical protection. Likewise, each of us has an “Achilles heel”, and more than one - places in which, no matter how carefully we protect them, we can be injured and even killed.
It seems to me that no one should have any doubt that a person is vulnerable, like any living creature. Only a person is even more vulnerable, because in addition to the loss of his physical usefulness and strength, he has something else to risk - feelings, emotions, reason.
However, everyone gets along with their vulnerability in their own way - one does not recognize it, the other carefully hides and protects itself from vulnerability, the third learns to demonstrate it in a safe space.
I would say that vulnerability lives on three levels.
First level- this is its complete denial. Do you know those people who believe that they have everything under control? Not only third-party people, objects and circumstances fall into the control zone, but also the person himself with his emotions and feelings.
Second level- recognition of one’s vulnerability, but the presence of external control. That is, a person understands that he is vulnerable, knows his weaknesses and imperfections, but is not ready to open and demonstrate them to the world around him.
Almost all of us live this way, even those who have made excellent progress in self-knowledge. We understand who we are, but when it comes to demonstrating it to others, something stops us. Fear of pain, the risk of not being liked or loved by such a familiar world, fear of loneliness.
Demonstrating to others - loved ones and strangers - your sore spots, thin spots, your “Achilles heel” is a huge risk. It requires courage, sincerity, basic self-confidence. For me it's almost unattainable third level being vulnerable.
At this level, we are most often very selective about what to show, to whom and when. Close people receive a slightly larger portion of the real us. Work colleagues are little pieces. Friends on Facebook are almost nothing, unless you are a novice blogger whose goal is to conquer your virtual world with your sincerity and humanity. I'm exaggerating, of course.
I am convinced that life at full capacity, a happy, full-fledged real life is possible only at the third level. How much to open up and to whom is up to you. But recognizing your vulnerability and demonstrating it to the world around you is simply necessary in order to love, in order to be yourself, in order to survive.
My call for demonstrating vulnerability would be one-sided if I had not taken the courage to write about “gold bars” that provide recognition and demonstration of one’s vulnerability. But I will immediately make a reservation that I do not pretend to be scientific and to the research nature of my conclusions. In many ways, I rely on the book “The Gifts of Imperfection,” but I haven’t copied a single line from it, really. I write as a person who is taking his steps towards a fulfilling life, a person with his own history of relationships with vulnerability, a person who is learning to be himself and who knows how important and at the same time difficult this path is.
Recognizing and demonstrating your vulnerability is the only way to remain yourself, to gain selfhood and individuality.
We live in a world of well-conceived and acted out masks. On TV, men and women amaze us with their intelligence, eloquence, exceptional youthfulness and beauty.
We want to fit in. Moreover, we must comply even behind a closed door in the toilet, where no one sees or hears us. We want to be special, strong, interesting people without weaknesses or any problems.
And so we live, putting on the mask of a decent, attractive person in all respects, or turning to the world with just one of our best, in our opinion, side.
I won't write about how beautiful we all are, and how great and important it is to show every part of ourselves. There are qualities that, and nothing in the world can convince me that they deserve publicity and openness.
But very often we don’t know enough about ourselves and the people around us, showing them an erroneously chosen image.
We lose ourselves, our individuality, brightness, character, exclusivity, trying to please this world not for who we really are.
And only by demonstrating our vulnerability, our shortcomings, the subtle points of our operating system, which, alas, can be harmed, do we become ourselves. We give the world the opportunity to touch the real us. And only in this way can we not lose brightness and not merge with the dull mass of the “invulnerable”; only in this way can we establish and create true friendships and emotionally close relationships.
Admitting and demonstrating your vulnerability is imperative in close relationships.
Recognizing and demonstrating your vulnerability is the only way to create intimacy, to feel, hear, understand each other.
Vulnerability is the key to understanding people, compassion and empathy.
Not accepting our own vulnerability makes us demanding and insensitive not only to ourselves, but also to other people. You can sympathize with the loss of another person, mourn grief with him, feel emptiness and pain, only by exposing yourself. If we are completely busy trying to retouch our wounds, it will be difficult for us to hear
Finally, we cannot be sufficiently tolerant and sensitive to other people if we lack the wisdom to see and accept our own shortcomings.
Admitting and demonstrating your vulnerability is the only way to set high and difficult goals.
The fear of making a mistake and being publicly crucified for it has never made anyone stronger or braver either in setting or achieving a goal.
Analyzing myself, I suddenly realized that my perfectionism - the desire to always remain on top and achieve perfection in everything - never helped me achieve my goals. He just forced me to choose the most realistic and easiest goals that I had no chance of not achieving. I discovered that everything I choose to do in life has almost no risk of making mistakes and falling...
There are so many things I could do if I weren’t so afraid of making a mistake and demonstrating to the world my inability to achieve my goals. What grandiose and bold plans I would draw for myself if I didn’t depend so much on the opinions of others.
When I was 18 years old, I knew what I wanted to become. I pictured to myself the image of the successful, optimistic, outgoing, determined woman that I would someday learn to be. It took years to create this delicious image. Something has ingrained itself into the skin so much that it cannot be scrubbed off even with soap. I believed that then I would live a truly happy life. Now, after 35, I think that everything is wrong. Real life is an opportunity to be yourself, not lie to yourself, not put on an image, peel off all the husks and dance naked.
To avoid having to make that huge, complicated journey back, make no mistake. Don't be afraid to be yourself and show yourself to the world. Don't hide from vulnerability, it's what makes you special, real, alive. Read smart books not after 35, but before. And listen to your heart.
Photo from pixabay.com/ru
adminEveryone has a moment of special sensitivity: disproportionate touchiness, vulnerability, doubts in their strengths and competence. And also - sentimentality and tearfulness, a feeling of hostility from the outside world. And that's quite normal. Intensity of feelings can be caused by life crises or be one of the main features of a person’s psychotype.
What is hypersensitivity?
Sensitivity in psychophysiology is inextricably linked with the senses. Psychologist and philosopher A.N. Leontiev proved that sensitivity, as a response to external stimuli, is associated with emotion and initially formed a single whole with it. Increased sensitivity in this sense is a necessary property of a living organism, improving adaptation to the surrounding world. The criterion for the emergence of the psyche as such. And is the basis of reflexes.
In psychology, sensitivity is called sensitivity. This is a manifestation of self-doubt, vulnerability, shyness, self-criticism, and feelings of inferiority. Like any character trait, it helps to classify a person’s personality into a certain psychological type. For example, psychiatrist A.E. Lichko singled it out as one of the character accentuations that he considered “weak points” of the psyche.
Heightened emotional sensitivity can really interfere with happiness in life.
Social hypersensitivity presupposes: the presence of self-criticism, constant self-comparison with more successful people, fear of communication and social activity. An insurmountable fear of any situation, inflated demands on oneself and the ensuing consequences.
But we must distinguish the destructive consequences of sensitivity from the positive ones. Experts highlight age-related sensitivity, which helps mental maturation in children. It is assumed that in adulthood, increased sensitivity during crises of certain life cycles (or age) are favorable periods for qualitative changes in personality. Only if you don’t delve into depressing thoughts, but with the help of heightened impressionability and strong experiences, understand your achievements and new opportunities.
Sensitivity consists of:
From adequate acceptance of all aspects of one’s own character.
From the ability to notice little things and details in the behavior of others and understand their meaning. See the essence behind the external manifestations.
From understanding the type of life situation, etiquette and roles in each specific case. Using sensitivity and connecting experience and logic.
Often they want to develop the sensitivity of the senses: vision, hearing, smell. To expand your capabilities. Perhaps a more subtle “soulfulness”, based on subconscious psychological mechanisms, is the source and catalyst of creativity and creativity, increased joy and success in communication.
Causes of increased sensitivity
Excessive vulnerability and acute perception can be:
A permanent property resulting from:
Life experience or upbringing. An unfavorable situation that exacerbated the predisposition. This could be a lack of love or care on the part of parents, emotional abandonment, or overprotection. Over the years, this sensitivity decreases.
Heredity. In 20% of people, the central nervous system detects irritations that most simply do not notice. This is associated with the influence of a special gene that increases the production of the “stress hormone” - norepinephrine, which is involved in the transmission of data between neurons. And also with high levels of oxytocin, which, as a “hormone of love and affection,” enhances “social reasoning” skills.
Temporary increase in susceptibility under the influence of:
Turning points, crises.
Stress.
Depressive states.
Diseases: general, neurological and mental.
The phenomenon of hypersensitivity has not been studied holistically. And fragmentary observations and studies make it clear that such a feature can ensure the viability and success of an individual. Unless, of course, it is associated with mental pathologies.
How to use sensitivity to your advantage?
Sensitivity, as part of a person’s emotional and social intelligence (the ability to “feel the environment”), helps in communication. If it is not accompanied by a fear of the new, anxiety, prejudices, fears, or a painful interpretation of what was felt.
In order for increased sensitivity to work for the owner, and not against, one should learn to control one’s emotions, turn them from enemies into allies, and balance between subtlety of perception and self-confidence, perseverance and common sense. What can you do to use sensitivity to your advantage?
Accept increased sensitivity as part of you. Whatever it is - an innate property, the result of the influence of the environment or a turning point in life. Realize that denying a part of yourself is fraught with mental problems and psychosomatic health disorders.
Do some self-analysis. Psychologists advise keeping an “emotional diary”:
In which you write down your feelings in detail, and then create a retrospective: what led to such a reaction.
Give names to the overwhelming feelings, and then, within 2-3 minutes, remember all the events that “pull” these emotions from the past. Then analyze the relationships and draw conclusions about what to do next time in similar circumstances.
Analyzing a specific event, taking into account what “seemed” is not always what it is. Do not attribute your thoughts to other people; their actions and actions may be completely unrelated to your person.
When analyzing sensations, you should not engage in self-flagellation and self-criticism. You wouldn’t complain to a close friend, so why not treat yourself the same way? If you cannot cope with your emotions, then try to change your attitude towards them. “Allow” them, justify them. Or just feel sorry for yourself.
Don't allow yourself to be labeled. If someone calls you indecisive, cowardly, or a "crybaby," don't agree. Rethink by rising above the situation. Perhaps at some moments such character traits appear, but in 90% of cases this emotion is not the main one. Don’t get hung up on other people’s opinions and don’t be offended by what others say. Establish your own self-esteem, give yourself the right to emotionally react differently than is customary. In the end, all people are unique.
If you depend on the opinions of loved ones, try to overcome codependency. Say “no”, put your needs as a priority, train your self-confidence, get rid of “” and timidity.
Learn to concentrate and isolate specific feelings from the emotional whirlwind. To separate information flows, because sometimes the feeling that arises may be the fruit of speculation, and not the situation itself.
Determine what physiological changes are caused by uncontrolled emotion. Go “from the opposite direction”: fight it, not the feeling.
Don't personalize criticism. What, with heightened sensitivity, is perceived as a reproach, may actually turn out to be a sensible remark, advice that will help in your growth. Learn to identify and draw conclusions from errors, not generalizations.
Guilt, reproaches and anger at yourself are not the best motivators. Try to find other arguments instead of the words “should” and “should”. Adjust your moral demands on yourself and others.
Do not make hasty conclusions based on overwhelming sensations. Instead of second-guessing, negative self-talk, or leaps of logic, try simply talking to people about the troubling circumstances.
Be more active in communication. Express your feelings and desires to other people more specifically. Ask more questions to immediately clarify the situation and relationship.
Learn to abstract yourself. Try meditation, aromatherapy.
For anxiety, irritability, restlessness, essential oils such as ylang-ylang, juniper, rose, lavender, and sandalwood will help.
For fears and self-doubt - tea tree, vetiver, rose, violet.
For depression - citrus fruits.
Use your favorite scent in calm and happy moments. And when you feel negative feelings, the aroma will help reduce them.
Listen to yourself, because sensitivity is the basis. To get a complete picture of a person, you have to spend a lot of time making contacts and processing information. Sensitive people understand people faster. But subject to conscious correction of impressions. Barriers that distort responses to stimuli should be eliminated. If you can’t do this on your own, then going to a psychologist will be the right decision to find harmony and use sensitivity for your own benefit.
March 30, 2014, 6:57 pm
Many people suffer from such a personality trait as vulnerability. A carelessly spoken word, an unpleasant look or a caustic remark can touch them to the core and ruin their mood for the whole day.
In order for this feature to stop spoiling a vulnerable person’s existence, you first need to figure out what its causes are.
If you consider yourself one of these people, you may often notice that some words can have a much greater impact on you than others.
This is interesting:
The whole point is that the more a person expects approval from others, the more he needs a kind word, the more unpleasant and caustic negative statements turn out to be for him.
Origins of acute reaction
Some people, having not received enough attention and love from their parents in childhood, try to compensate for this deficiency in adulthood.
The slightest manifestation of unfriendliness touches old wounds and is perceived as a blow to self-esteem - they, as before, feel unloved and worthless.
All this suggests that we are influenced only by those words that can touch a nerve. They, like arrows, make you feel pain again, and the closer they get to old wounds, the more acute this pain becomes.
How to become "thick-skinned"
There is nothing wrong with this definition for a sensitive person. Developing such a character trait will only save him from unnecessary suffering.
To avoid being hurt by the reproaches and hurtful words of others, you need to become less dependent on the opinions of others. In other words, you need to become independent from others in order to heal your own wounds. Become self-sufficient.
To stop being vulnerable, you need to develop high self-esteem and an understanding that you remain a significant person, no matter what others think about you.
Practice self-love. Build confidence using DIY techniques. It is also recommended to undergo training.
It is necessary to take a trip into your past and realize exactly what situations led to the appearance of these mental wounds. Maybe it’s the disdainful attitude of parents, peers, teachers.
Processing childhood trauma leads to emotional healing. Then the reproaches of other people lose their power - being aimed at a specific wound, they will not be able to achieve a non-existent goal. By changing your internal blocks, you will no longer be a vulnerable person.
Hello, Igor.
1) The problem is not vulnerability, but rather your touchiness, anger, ... pride.
Touchiness is the other side of anger.
Everything follows the chain: anger-resentment-guilt-depression.
2) Why are the words of strangers so important to you...analyze.
It turns out... your loved ones are less significant to you? (In general...., we can make the assumption that your condition is similar to social phobia...
The key element of this phobia is the fear of being judged, the fear of criticism, the fear of being judged by others, the fear of humiliation...
You should learn to cope with negative attitudes (negative).
Learn to fight your belief in the inevitability of failure or failure in social situations.
The emphasis is on cognitive-behavioral methods of psychotherapy. Simply - correction of self-esteem and expected perception of oneself by people around..... through changing thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, ideas, negative defeatist character, interfering with life.)
3) You claim that you constantly go through all situations and look for the meaning of the actions of evil-minded people.
Why look for meaning in evil?
Stop playing a broken record and fixate and dwell only on negative things.
Don't you have any joy around?
After all, something brings positive emotions?
(“Learn to see where it’s dark and hear where it’s quiet.
Then in darkness you will see light, in silence you will hear harmony.." philosopher Lao Tzu).
Remember the colors of the rainbow...there are seven of them...and if you mix it, you get gray...
So how long can you not notice the multicolored, diverse world and be busy with your grievances and your own person...?
Everything can be learned by comparison. (Stop doing nonsense.)
4) You say that you love all people... It sounds beautiful, it's great, ... if of course it's true.
You don't have to love everyone and everyone likes you, just like you....we are all different...
You won't choke on food you don't like, will you?
Step aside from those with whom you do not want to communicate. ...whoever doesn’t like it...or give a worthy rebuff...put it in place with a word, with a glance (over time, you will succeed.)
5) The key phrase in your letter (I could be wrong) is “You can’t explain everything to a specialist”...) There must be pitfalls and more global work with you is required. It's time to sort out some deep issues.
6) It seems to you that it is extremely important that everyone likes you... but you are not a dollar? Sorry...
Let evil tongues speak, their problems are not yours...
Stick to your line and don't pay attention...they don't deserve it.
You probably have a good profession. Dedicate time and energy to it.
Don’t be like chatterboxes...They may talk behind your back out of boredom, out of a desire to provoke you into a reaction (those who have problems with communication provoke the other into a conflict....in order to somehow be noticed....and you get upset , in the end, elementary rudeness, lack of education; envy... maybe you are more successful or different from others... all this gives rise to indignation, indignation... dullness does not cause a storm of emotions)
6) Everyone gossips first, they talk behind their back... So what?
Almost everyone knows, they have faced disgrace, the rejection of others....so now shoot yourself or what? You are not the only one unique.
It's not like that for politicians. that behind their backs, but more democratically, everyone says whatever they want in the face of the opposition and in the face of enemies in the party....so they still crawl to power, despite the possibility of death, assassination attempts...and you’re talking about some evil tongues.
Life is a struggle...And you must become stronger in spirit...not become limp...stand firmly on your feet.
Remember... how Lukashenko, Primakov Aushev (formerly) hold up, for example... charisma, endless intelligence, uncompromisingness and, along with diplomacy, strength of character... M. Talboev (test pilot) compared to some Prokhorov - mumble.
People pay exorbitant amounts of money for black PR... because they are untalented in order to somehow gain pseudo-fame.
They are happy about the evil words against which you speak out and rebel.
Step on your pride sometimes, spit and rub...let them talk.
7) Remember your posture (how you stand, how you behave... are you holding yourself arrogantly or like a poor relative?)
Analyze...whether you have support under your feet and in a figurative sense too...not just symbolically. Is there an inner core, strength? Is it enough?
What general impression do you make and could you make on others if you wanted to?
What do your friends say about you? M.B. they will give you a hint...
What if you yourself provoke such an attitude through your behavior? (behavior of a victim, a whipping boy?) sorry for being harsh..
8) If you feel another insult... remember what is in you... in general, your most valuable strengths for which you can respect yourself.
Conduit these words into a shorter phrase...like a motto. Remember this phrase when someone treats you unfairly or when making your speech... (the more successful a person is, the more enemies he has... this is the law... there are exceptions, but rarely)
9) Change your perception...add humor.
And not everyone loves God...Not everyone observes moral laws, not everyone fasts and does pious deeds...
And in fairy tales there are negative heroes.
And you want to live in some kind of ideal world, to outdo the fairy-tale world.
Allow others to be different (within reasonable limits, of course). Everyone has flaws.
You travel a lot. Surely you have so many impressions. Stop bristling at fate... regard it as an experience and a symbol, a sign from above that it’s time to change... a crisis stage and a kind of transition to a new, wiser stage
Childishness, it’s time to remove regression...You are an adult. There are more important things to do than insults.
10) From the literature, I advise you to read “Whirlpools” by J. Hollins (talking about a prisoner in a concentration camp)
Watch "Butterfly Circus" (a bad film about a disabled circus performer...he really exists...a sunny person, a brave person who lives life bravely)
BE SURE to look at the inter artist Gen. Dobrov (there are pictures about the front-line soldiers of the Great Fatherland War exiled by Stalin on the island of Valaam, read about their biographies of perseverance and fate. A powerful revolution in consciousness will occur. I guarantee.
To lift the mood and humor - the cartoon "Kot-kotofeevich" and always "Good Eeh"
Don't these cartoon characters remind you of you?
Learn to appreciate what you have.
Having 1-2 close, truly understanding people is luxury.
For some reason you need nothing bad to be said about you no, no...
Perhaps you don't tell everything, you gloss over serious problems and you have wormholes... but according to today's request... everything is not so bad.
I wish you to be more resourceful and resourceful in life.
Reach a new level of wisdom. Stop regressing.
I give you a gift in the form of Faith in you
You are a man with a capital M...I hope...and not a whiner.
There are people who take criticism very seriously. Answer the following questions honestly. Do you feel disappointed in your acquaintances, friends, loved ones? Do you feel like you are often betrayed and taken advantage of by your kindness and feelings? Do you feel sorry for yourself, wait for support and approval, but at the same time think that you are in many ways worse than others? Feeling resentful and depressed? Are you easily brought to tears?
If you answered yes to half of these questions, then you are probably one of those easily hurt people who takes everything too personally. Then it will be useful for you to learn about the causes of this condition and methods of reducing psychological discomfort and emotional sensitivity when communicating with people.
The main reason is lack of self-confidence
Uncertainty is a very painful feeling. A person intuitively looks for ways to strengthen him, to establish himself. He feels the need for approval and admiration from other people. Their opinion, look, words are important to him. An insecure person is morally very dependent on those around him; he often catches himself thinking “what will they think of me if I…”. This reaction to the fear of being rejected, misunderstood, ridiculed. You must admit, no one wants to get into an awkward position, but not everyone gets hung up on it.
Self-doubt and excessive vulnerability indicate low self-esteem. If you feel that you depend on other people’s opinions, then you have to admit that you lack the internal strength to regulate your self-esteem. It is like a thermometer, the readings of which go down or up depending on external circumstances.
Normally, a person’s self-esteem may fluctuate, leaning one way or the other, but these changes are insignificant. But in our case the situation is more complicated. Self-esteem drops almost to the limit with criticism and comments and rises to high levels with praise and admiration. Thus, a person loses the ability to make decisions independently, regulate his mood and psychological state.
In some cases, he begins to scold himself, criticize himself like other people. The person sincerely believes that they are right. Gradually this can lead to self-hatred and long-term depression. All our fears, insecurities, low self-esteem, increased vulnerability come from childhood. Perhaps at some point in your childhood you experienced severe psychological trauma, for example, the death of a loved one.
This can also be the reason for your parents’ indifferent attitude towards you, frequent conflicts in the family, and constant ridicule during your school years from classmates. There is no road to the past; you cannot return to it and change anything. In this case, you need to learn to manage your emotions, regulate your self-esteem and strengthen your self-confidence today, now.
Ways to reduce sensitivity and vulnerability
There are many ways to restore and maintain internal psychological balance.
All of them are universal and suitable for everyone.
- To begin with, it is worth realizing that adequate self-esteem is a stable quality. No amount of criticism or praise should affect her greatly. Your personal opinion should always be a priority. This, of course, does not mean that you can now close your eyes, cover your ears and not pay attention to the words and feelings of others. It’s just that all the information that comes to you from others needs to be sensibly analyzed. And you should know better than others about your qualities and shortcomings.
- Every day, week or month, as is more convenient for you, remind yourself of the things that you managed to accomplish, the problems that you successfully resolved. This way, you are more likely to feel confident in yourself, understand that everything is fine with you, and you know how to independently cope with different life situations. Reminders of your own successes, even small ones, will guide you on the right path; soon you will feel that your mood is increasingly good, and your energy for new things is only increasing.
- Think, perhaps among your friends and acquaintances there are still people with vulnerable souls, as insecure as you yourself. As a rule, at least one acquaintance is there. So, when you meet him, try to hold him, encourage him, but don’t overdo it. Unnecessary praise can cause more harm. If you have any complaints about this person, then present it in a soft, unobtrusive and non-rude form. Think about what words would upset and upset you least in a similar situation. You can give these kinds of encouragements and comments to yourself.
- Stop loading your head with negativity. Leave aside thoughts about the possibility of getting into an awkward situation, making a mistake, being late somewhere, doing something wrong. All these ridiculous fantasies and speculations only lead to depression and despair. Focus on the good. Dream. Do what you love, find a hobby for yourself. Spend more time for yourself and your loved ones. In general, do not leave free time for unnecessary thoughts.
- Other people's lives do not revolve around you, you must understand this. If someone offended you, most likely he did not do it out of malice. It’s just that people tend to think first of themselves in their actions, especially spontaneous ones. Nobody owes you anything. If you want to enjoy life, then bring a smile yourself. Know how to forgive, leaving grievances in the past. To cheer yourself up, just fulfill one of your needs. Make a list of your “wants”, but just don’t go too far, all desires should consist of small joys that will be available at any time.
If you cannot cope with your vulnerability on your own and still feel insecure, then you can seek help from a psychologist. In addition, collective training on the development of personal qualities, including self-confidence, increasing self-esteem, and the like, is now increasingly being practiced.
To achieve success you need to move forward, even in small steps. When you encounter an obstacle, do not stop, but look for other ways.
