Each of us sometimes needs to make difficult choices. We ask ourselves questions: what is better to choose, how to make the right choice, and what if?.. We find a lot of answers and still cannot decide.
These questions also tormented me and tore me apart until I heard the phrase:
“Before, he couldn’t make a choice because he didn’t know what would happen next. Now he knows what will happen and therefore cannot make a choice.” © Mr. Nobody
These words of the main character of the film “Mr. Nobody” became an insight for me. This is brilliant: it’s difficult for us to choose, not because we don’t know what will happen, but because it’s difficult for us to refuse something. Choice is always a rejection of something in favor of an alternative. No matter how much you think, no matter how much you weigh and calculate your moves, it will not become easier. You still have to give up something.
You will say that sometimes we choose between what we have and new opportunities. I disagree. Even if we choose what we already have, for example, staying in this job instead of changing to a new one, we are still choosing for mythical prospects. Otherwise, if everything was good, the question of choice itself would not arise.
I’ll explain in more detail, we want to change something in life when we don’t like it. For example, work. The boss is an asshole, there is no career growth, the salary was reduced due to the crisis, naturally there is a desire to change the situation. And we start looking for a job, and then the merciful Universe gives us such an opportunity, we are invited to an interview, one thing after another...
And here there are two options: either we choose between new offers and here we can only imagine what opportunities and privileges we will have in this or that company. And by choosing one, we give up the prospects of another. That is, We are afraid of losing what we don’t have.
There is another option, when the employer somehow senses that we can leave and promises to improve conditions. An important detail, improvements are only being talked about, they don’t exist in practice yet. And here we are again falling into this trap. “Damn, what should I choose? If the boss does what he says, then I won’t feel bad here either, although that job has more prospects, it’s more interesting, but it’s a different team and further from home...” And that’s it... away we go. We live again about what we have Not yet.
And on the one hand, it is by wanting to have what we don’t yet have that we grow and develop, but on the other hand, we suffer in a situation of choice. Where does this Plyushkin live in each of us?
But it definitely exists, look at your apartment right now and think, what is it that is in the closets, on the balcony or mezzanine that is high time to throw it away?? I'm sure there's something for everyone. When going through a closet, we face a choice: keep it or throw it away? So what is the difficulty?? It's a pity to throw it away?
No, it’s a pity not because this thing is useful to us, but because it might come in handy! That is, again, this is the reluctance to lose an opportunity, to lose something that does not exist. After all, in fact, we do not use this thing , we definitely won’t need it in the near future, otherwise there would be no question of throwing it away. And so, and maybe someday...
Why is it so difficult to give up something? It seems to us that if we give up this now, we will never be able to get this chance back again. There are even a lot of films that revolve around the same theory: this chance comes only once in a lifetime, and if you don’t take it, then you’re a fool!
I beg to differ. Quite recently, I discovered this a way to deal with difficult choices . So, let's think logically: if in each option there is something that I don’t want to give up, then this extremely valuable to me ! It is very important to determine what is so valuable in this proposal. What perspective do we see for ourselves, what desire or need do we want to satisfy? Once we understand this, it will become much clearer.
Problems of choice arise constantly. Sometimes we do this unconsciously, sometimes on a wave of emotions. And sometimes we don’t sleep at night because of the fear of making mistakes and making the wrong choice. Problem, how to make the right choice , arises when the goal is very important to us and we do not have clear criteria to evaluate the available options.
Thus, we ourselves create this problem because:
a) attribute excessive importance to something;
b) we do not have a clear strategy for evaluation;
c) we don’t trust ourselves.
Phenomenon
excessive importance
In fact, it is important in our life every little thing. But we do not know how to correctly assess what is happening to us. Therefore, we are placing completely different accents.
Today I watched a light romantic film about a man who was convinced that he was bringing misfortune to everyone. In fact, all the people who were close to him encountered the most incredible troubles. Only one girl who loved him was able to understand that, in fact, these troubles knocked people out of their wrong paths, turning their lives towards good luck and happiness.
The fact is that these people initially made a mistake in their choice, but believed that they did the right thing. Therefore, they assessed all the events that happened to them from their own bell tower. Although what they considered important did not lead them to happiness.
Yes, people are now accustomed to thinking globally; they feel sorry for wasting time on trifles. Although this is what determines success in any business. We may not see true connection between a petty cause and its effect (especially if they are separated in time), but such a pattern has already been scientifically proven. Although more recently it was just a fantastic idea by Ray Bradbury (“A Sound of Thunder”).
Butterfly Effect
In 1972, Edward Lorenz published the scientific work “Predictability: Can the Flapping of a Butterfly's Wings in Brazil Cause a Tornado in Texas?” After this, the term “Butterfly Effect” became generally accepted. Edward Lorenz is considered one of the founders of chaos theory. Studying complex chaotic systems, he proved that small minor influence in such a system may have big consequences in another place and at another time. Moreover, uncertainty increases very significantly over time. That. acts inexorably in our unpredictable world. However, we cannot always trace it.
A good demonstration of this effect is the falling of dominoes. In 2005, a case was recorded of 23 thousand dominoes falling due to the fact that a sparrow flew into the room and accidentally touched one of them.
So far, scientists have proven this effect only when the weather changes. A clear connection has been established between the miniscule increase in water temperature in the Pacific Ocean (only half a degree) and rains over the Indian and Pacific oceans.
How to do
right choice
It was not by chance that I made a digression about the butterfly effect. This proves that every little thing can affect the final result. Therefore, you will never have a 100% guarantee of the right choice. you won't be able to get. Moreover, how can you determine the correct choice?
Take, for example, three life situations.
- The girl has several fans. Finally, she marries a university teacher who has a car and an apartment. Is this the right choice?
- They offered an apartment in a new building, promising rapid development of the area's infrastructure. The man agrees. Is this the right choice?
- You send your child to the nearest school, literally next to your house. Is this the right choice?
I want you to answer these questions yourself now. And at the end of the article I will describe how these situations really developed.
Evaluation strategy
the right choice
In fact, the situations in which we have to make choices are very diverse. They can be divided into four types.
- Significant situations . They have a defining influence throughout life. Variants of such situations are just described above. Therefore, the importance of choice here greatly increases. This can create nervous tension and stress due to fear of mistakes. But it is precisely in such situations that the most difficult thing is to assess the correctness of the choice.
- Emergencies . They require instant decision making (for example, in a doctor's practice). Here it is best to act according to ready-made instructions and prescriptions so as not to waste time on hesitation.
- Just important situations . The importance of choices in such situations is determined by their weight according to some parameter. For example, the choice of work determines the standard of living and affects the feeling of satisfaction from it. Choosing a car involves financial expenses. That’s why here we can talk about how to make the right choice. Because there are criteria by which the result can be assessed.
- Unimportant situations . These are situations where it doesn't matter what you choose. For example, what kind of transport should you use to go home from work?
So, we can talk about the strategy of correct choice only for situations of the third type. Because there is an opportunity to evaluate the result, and there are clear selection criteria.
To find the best result, you can use one of the methods given below.
Method A . Comparison of pros and cons.
For each option, you take a separate sheet of paper and divide it with a vertical line into 2 columns. Write on the left all the advantages, which you can get if you choose this option. On right - all the cons.
For example, you have 2 jobs in mind. The first one is close to home, but the salary is low. The second one has good pay, but it takes an hour to get to work. You describe all this taking into account your values, plans and life goals. And then, comparing both lists, you can choose the most suitable option for yourself.
Method B. Evaluation by criteria.
This is a more mathematical approach. It consists in the fact that you compose for yourself a list of criteria for evaluating your options. What is important to you is selected here. For example, to select the same job, you could choose the following criteria: salary; availability of a social package; good team; schedule; distance from home.
Then choose a rating scale - ABOUT(for example, from 1 to 5). Rate each criterion in order of importance - IN. Then you sequentially consider each option from the point of view of the selected criteria, giving them ratings. The evaluation of an individual criterion is defined as the product O x B. And the final assessment of the option is the sum of the assessments of all criteria.
Confidence
as a selection criterion
The strategies described are only applicable to certain situations. But in situations of the first type it is difficult to do this. Because it is difficult to choose the selection criteria themselves. In this case, the best method is to trust yourself and rely entirely on your intuition. Our subconscious has access to, so it has the best ability to make the right choice.
But for this you need absolutely trust some higher power that stands above us. Some people say they follow their heart. Others are convinced that God is telling them.
It doesn’t matter what you call it, just trust completely and stick with the option that was suggested to you from within. Still, you cannot clearly know whether you made the right choice. Like the butterfly effect, we can only see the results after many years.
For example, let’s take the results of those real elections that I wrote about above. All this happened a long time ago and the results are already clearly visible.
- During perestroika, the teacher was unable to “restructure”; he lost his job and completely abdicated responsibility for his family and child.
- All promises for the development of the city were forgotten. The huge area has become a forgotten residential area, which is difficult and problematic to get to.
- The teachers at the school were very weak, the child was not able to gain enough knowledge to enter a university.
You don't have to worry too much about making the right choice. Develop your intuition and trust yourself more. Even if a mistake is made, it will always be .
Are you having trouble making the right choice? How do you personally solve it for yourself? Share your experience in the comments.
Hello, dear readers! How do you know that the right person is nearby? Should you listen only to your heart or should you turn to your mind? How to make the right choice in a relationship? Let's talk about whether differences between people hinder their love or, on the contrary, help, what you should look for in a partner and how not to ruin a good relationship.
Difference in Approach
The first thing I would like to talk about is the approach when choosing a life partner. In fact, there are only two of them: rational and emotional. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Some people manage to combine these approaches, while others use only one strategy.
What is the difference between these approaches?
The emotional choice of a partner is based only on your feelings. Like it or don't like it. What you feel next to a person, what thoughts overcome you. Most often these are spontaneous, strong emotions that push them to get closer.
The advantage of this approach is that there is room for passion, love madness, exploits for the sake of the lady of the heart, and so on. But there is also a flip side to the coin. Under the influence of emotions, a person does not always see the truth. He is overwhelmed by love and his eyes are blind.
The rational choice of a life partner consists of logical justification, critical thinking, weighing the pros and cons of such a union, and so on.
Many men, in order not to make a mistake in choosing a wife, resort to a similar approach. They critically evaluate all the girl’s qualities and decide whether she is worthy of becoming a faithful, loving wife. Girls also resort to a similar method. One of my clients spent a long time choosing between two boyfriends. She even gave them tests to see if they would act the way she wanted.
The advantage here is obvious - a partner is chosen thoroughly, thoughtfully, and slowly. But often there is no room for crazy feelings and emotions.
Both approaches work great. But in everything you need to be able to find a middle ground. Feelings and emotions are very important in a relationship; you shouldn’t give them up so easily. But you don’t need to turn off your mind either.
Which approach to use is up to you, the main thing is that it works for you and not against you.
One of my friends tried to logically come to a decision for so long that all her gentlemen ran away. And an overly emotional guy constantly rushes from one embrace to another, and cannot find the one and only one.
Similarities and differences
Very often I am asked the question: will we be happy, because we are so different? There is no answer to this question. For some, differences help in relationships, while for others they only hinder and cause constant quarrels.
Differences can be in completely different areas of life: hobbies, worldview, religion, nationality, and so on.
One of my clients only dates foreigners; she doesn’t allow Russian men near her at all, she’s not interested in them, they don’t inspire or excite her, so to speak. But foreigners attract her attention no matter what.
You can have opposite hobbies with a girl, but this will only bring you closer. She talks about her hobby, you share your knowledge with her and this fuels your interest in each other. Don't forget, it all depends on the situation.
What you should pay attention to
I offer you some points that will help you decide whether this is the right person or not.
Men, of course, should pay attention to the girl’s thriftiness. After all, you want a wife who can put things in order at home and will become a real queen of your home comfort. Remember that even if she doesn’t know how to cook or doesn’t know how to sew on a button, there’s nothing wrong with that. The main thing is her desire to learn.
Another thing that can help men is talking with their friends. Watch your young lady's interactions with other girls. Maybe all their conversations boil down to discussing parties, parties, cool cars and Louboutins? Think about whether such a lady was right for you.
I recommend that girls pay attention to the communication of their chosen one with their family. The way a man communicates with his mother can tell you a lot. You should not draw conclusions from this point alone. Situations are different, do not make serious decisions without fully understanding them.
My client’s husband has not communicated with his mother for a long time. They have a very tense and complicated relationship. He calls her exclusively by her first name and patronymic and does not show proper filial attention. But he idolizes his wife and carries him in his arms.
Another girl should pay attention to the man’s determination. Now he may not earn millions, not have a car or a separate home, but he has aspirations and plans. And this is very important.
And, of course, pay attention to your sense of humor. It helps in many life situations. A person who can laugh at himself and at his own mistakes will be much easier to deal with problems.
I highly recommend that you avoid your partner. For loyalty, for commercialism, for selfishness, for anything. Such a check can only ruin your relationship and lead to nothing good. Instead, carefully observe the person in natural circumstances and have heart-to-heart conversations more often.
Take note
Don't argue with your spouse in public. Even if you hear that your partner is talking outright nonsense, you should not tell him about it in public. Step aside or talk about it at home. There is no need to sort things out in public.
Don't talk badly about your loved one. Most often, when we communicate with friends or relatives, we talk about unpleasant moments in our relationships. Stop doing this. Talk about good and happy events. Don't create a negative image.
Don't compare. Never, under any circumstances, compare your loved one to someone else. Each of us is unique. We can act like someone else, but we cannot be the same.
Personal space. Don't forget about freedom. I'm not talking about total permissiveness, but your partner should have time for himself.
Don't try to change a person. Many people try to solve the problem by diligently changing the person. But this is not a solution. And the problem will not go away. And most likely, you won’t be able to change a person. Instead, look for a way out of the current situation together, talk, try different approaches, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Building relationships is not easy, but very exciting. Remember, there is no right choice. There is your decision and what you will do next. It's up to you whether this relationship will work or not. Partners must trust each other, value and...
I suggest girls pay attention to the article “”. I am sure you will find a lot of interesting and useful information for yourself.
What do you pay attention to when choosing a partner? What is most important to you in a person?
Love each other!
What should you do if you are a leader and you are faced with a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: execution cannot be pardoned, dismissal cannot be left, and it is unclear where to put a comma. In this article we will talk about several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.
If you are trapped
Usually, making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: some withdraw into themselves, some worry and don’t sleep at night, some become hysterical and take it out on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche; he is often unable to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or his close environment. Time shows that impulsive and ill-considered decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, your career, your relationships, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before you put into practice the methods described below, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.
There are several ways to pacify emotions:
- short-term - breathe correctly. Take 10 deep, slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
- medium-term - imagine that your friend finds himself in such a situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely throw away all emotions and try to look at the situation detachedly, objectively. So try it;
- long-term - take a time out. Just let the situation go for a while, do other things, and come back to it after a week or month. This way you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not cut from the shoulder. And secondly, the right decision will ripen in your head like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.
Now that emotions no longer influence your choices, let's talk about eight reliable methods for making decisions.
1. Pros and cons method
Use the good old method: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in half. In the left column write all the advantages of the chosen solution, in the right column - respectively, the disadvantages. Don't limit yourself to just a few items: there should be 15-20 items on the list. Then calculate what will be more. Profit!
The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the relationship between pros and cons, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?
2. Create habits
This method is suitable if it is difficult for you to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to increase the salary of a new employee, or if it’s not worth it yet, put it on the website or another company. What to eat for dinner, in the end, French fries or fish with vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and follow them in the future. For example, introduce an iron rule: increase employee salaries only after six months of working in your company. Buying office supplies exclusively from Skrepka is cheaper. Eating light and healthy dishes for dinner will soon thank you. Well, with the call back you get it, yes.
The essence of the method: following your habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself from unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully armed.
3. “If-then” method
This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, and personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: Should I fire him immediately or try to re-educate him? Try using the “if-then” technique. Tell yourself: if he again mistreats a client, you will deprive him of his bonus. If the incident happens again, fire me.
The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately be lifted from the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a careless employee.
It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule is: before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:
- what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
- How will you feel about your choice in 10 months;
- What will you say in 10 years?
Let's give an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, doesn't like his job, but puts up with it because he needs money. He dreams of quitting his job, taking out a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of going broke and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a bird in the hand is preferred to a pie in the sky.
It’s difficult for our hero to take the first step - quit his hated job. Let's say he does this. In ten minutes he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will already have time to rent the premises, equip the pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out - he’ll find a job as a manager anyway - so what’s there to regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any significance at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of two things. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.
The essence of the method: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now; feelings obscure the prospects for the future. Remember, as in Yesenin: “You can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future seems cloudy and vague, the choice of solution will be postponed again and again. By making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and stops being afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.
Read also: Three real stories.
5. Solve within 15 minutes
Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. A familiar situation: a company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the point is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done something nasty, and it is not clear what to do: respond in kind or get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis has hit your company, and you are confused: to move to a less prestigious place or to lay off a dozen employees. How can you make the right choice, and is there even one? And you begin to procrastinate, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself.
If you don’t know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer to this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any, decision. Yes, at first glance this may seem crazy. What about planning, and what about testing and verifying solutions? Ok, ok, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investment check the correctness of the solution, check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately record the time.
The essence of the method: Needless to say, if you waste time, nothing gets solved: crises don’t go away, rental prices don’t go down, and competitors become even sharper. One unmade decision leads to others, the business sags and becomes ineffective. As they say, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.
6. Don't limit yourself to narrow boundaries
The same thing we wrote about at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of two things, hit or miss, oh, it was not! But who said that a problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation more broadly. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, and apply disciplinary measures to the employee who committed the crime for the first time.
The essence of the method: when there are only two solution options, there is a greater chance of choosing the right decision, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: don’t be afraid to look it in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in management activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be the optimal solution to the problem.
Have you ever received a gift for which you thanked through gritted teeth, and after some time you realized how lucky you were with this thing? Often we do not immediately assess the significance of events in our lives correctly. How can we learn to make the right decisions, giving our time and attention to what truly deserves it because of its ability to make us happy? Many things can look tempting, and it is not so easy to figure out which ones to focus on now and which ones to put off - perhaps until the next life. After all, you can’t be two different people at the same time, just like you can’t be in two different places.
Perspective
The most important thing here is the ability to see things in perspective. The role of momentary sensations is also important; sometimes we set them as our goal. However, more often than not, something else turns out to be more important - what happens to us after. After we talked to this person. Ate this food. We watched the film. They did something. The meaning and influence of various events on us only becomes apparent over time.
Do you know the popular consolation - “Think, will you remember this in 5 years?” The secondary immediately fades into the background, but the main thing remains in sight. But sometimes we are so absorbed in what is happening to us that we forget to answer this question.
Regarding perspective, it is worth remembering its two dimensions: depth and finitude.
Depth
What does this mean on a life-wide scale? Yes, our life is not one day, but each individual day, one way or another, reflects it entirely. Do you want it to be like this? all your life? Would you choose this for your entire life? How will this affect your future destiny, since you will continue to live with this choice? Answering these questions when making a decision will show you care about yourself.
Limb
And this is a common method of thinking about death, remembering limited time human life. Steve Jobs shared his experience of using it in his famous speech to Stanford graduates.
Our existence is not an infinite number of days. We rarely think about this because it is not easy to understand and accept the fact of our mortality. That the day will come when we will be gone. And the sun will continue to rise in the morning, the birds will continue to sing, but for someone else. Yes, it’s not easy to even think about it, let alone fully experience it! However, it is quite effective. After all it is the limitations of something that make it so valuable. In this case, it is our time. And, fully aware of this, we will make the right choices in life much more often.
Observation
The next point is probably already familiar to you. Listen to yourself. This is a skill that can and should be developed in oneself. For some, this can be very difficult, because to observe you need to freeze for a while. Then you will be able to realize how something affects you. Knowing whether something specific is beneficial or harmful to you is very valuable.
Everyone has their own gradation of sensations that cause certain phenomena: “bad”, “normal”, “good”, “yes, this is just my heaven on earth”! In addition to assessing the pleasantness of experiences, there is another side. How does this affect us? Who do we turn into as a result?
There are things that are incredibly tempting, but we can easily see that contact with them pulls us down.
And if we don’t see it, then those around us will tell us about it. Therefore, when making a choice, it is important to distinguish what level of pleasure you are experiencing - elation and enthusiasm or pure pleasure, in which there is even something animalistic.
Learn to see
Sometimes things turn out differently. Something puzzles us at first: " Why do I need this?", - and only then, having recognized and appreciated, we find ourselves filled with gratitude. Moreover, it does not have to be some kind of misfortune, which then suddenly unexpectedly turns into happiness. No, rather something, at first glance, insignificant and defiant in its the appearance of some irritation in our lives.
Usually it becomes clear quite quickly what's what. After all, it doesn’t take much time for a wolf to shed his sheep’s clothing, if that’s what he is. It’s the same with positive events that happen unexpectedly. Unless we ourselves prevent them from revealing themselves to us in all their beauty by complaining about their unfulfilled hopes. We thought this was good for us, but we got something else, perhaps even better, but we don’t want to admit it, because first we need to figure out why our (albeit more modest) desires were ignored.
Sometimes we are too caught up in protecting our importance to accept that we are actually much luckier than we bargained for. But when this finally happens, our heart is filled with joy and our soul with gratitude. Appreciate unplanned events like these.Things that suddenly came and made you happy. This will help you better recognize situations leading to them in the future and make the right choices in life.
Knowing yourself
What other skills are useful when you need to make a choice about what to give your attention and time to? First of all, it is knowing yourself. It is knowledge, because we talked about knowledge above - what brings you satisfaction, joy, etc. Cognition is an open process. It means you know something, but you never say it. You are always ready to try new ideas about yourself.
After all, our tastes and preferences change over time, and you may discover traits and predispositions in yourself that you had not noticed before. Until some events, for example, pull them out of your depths to the surface. You may suddenly realize what you would like to do, what you would like to realize yourself in. Such knowledge, even at the dream level, is already a great happiness if the knowledge is genuine. When you know, and learn anew every day, who you are, it will be easy for you to make the right choices in your life, no matter what it is about.
Flexibility
To make the right choice, it is important to be able to calmly accept losses. You can't cook scrambled eggs without breaking eggs! To make a profit, you must first invest something. To hear a “yes,” you must have the strength to go through a certain number of “nos.” Losses are inevitable.
By accepting this and not considering it "in vain", we become truly flexible and capable of making the right choices in the most incredible circumstances of life.
Respect for what's important
The essence of being able to make good choices comes down to understanding what is important to you in life and respecting it. Pay attention to the issue of your own values. Not “for show” or to be moral - you personally need this. In order to live your life in such a way that you don’t feel sorry for parting with it or exchanging it, when the time comes, for the next one. Even if it’s good, even if it’s better, but it’s different. Because this is your life lived.
You always make the right choice yourself. Advice, opinions, views of others can help. But not because they will do it for you - it’s easier to make choices in life if you know what options are available.
The only right choice that I would like to make a priori for you is self-respect. It's hard to live when you don't respect yourself. It’s difficult to build relationships with people when you can’t treat them with respect—and how can you do otherwise when you don’t respect yourself. It’s hard to believe in someone’s good attitude towards you.
So if you don't know where to start when making any important choice, start with this: respect yourself.
And this means respecting those things that are important to you. Take the time you need to figure this out, you have the right to do so. And while you do this, others will wait without any questions.
