You can talk a lot and analyze the meaning of sexual relations in married life, however, if the husband does not want a wife, then this problem needs to be solved, and not left to chance. What should girls do if they don’t have sex with their husband? Let's analyze situations, problems and ways to solve them.
Analysis of the situation
For several weeks or even months, the spouses do not have sex because of the husband, and if at first this situation does not particularly bother the wife, then in the future this will become her main problem. - this is not just a release and quenching of physical attraction to a man, it is also a natural need of the body, not to mention the emotional side and the impact of this on relationships.In this article we will not touch on older generation married couples, where in most cases the reason for the lack of intimacy is health or age. Here we will talk about young couples, because the causes of problems in their sex life, or rather in its absence, can be completely different, from simple to very complex.
In each family, the lack of sex life develops differently. In most cases, this begins with the birth of a child, or in the last months. This can also happen after a certain period of married life, due to a number of other factors. Let's look at them.
Causes
The reasons why a husband does not want intimacy with his wife can be divided into several blocks, let's look at them.Parental concerns
So, a young mother just after giving birth, the first months of the baby’s life squeeze all the strength out of the parents, both physical and moral, especially if there is no help from loved ones or it is insignificant. The main desire of parents is for the baby to be calm and fall asleep, so that the parents can get some sleep. And such moments happen very rarely. The situation becomes even more complicated when a child sleeps with his parents in the same room, and even more so if the apartment is one-room or a young family lives with the parents.
As a result, it turns out that a young father and mother are always tired, since the child requires constant attention, especially if he is constantly being held and restless. Mom is with the baby all day, from the very morning, while dad earns money. She devotes time to the child, calms him down, lulls him to sleep, feeds him, prepares dinner for her husband, cleans, washes, etc. It’s even hard to imagine, mommy is like a squeezed lemon, in the evening she just wants to get to bed, what kind of romance and intimacy can we talk about!? During this period, the young mother stops taking special care of her appearance and home appearance in particular.
Coming home from work, the husband also plunges into parental concerns. Considering also the fact that a child does not allow you to sleep at night, and in addition a tired wife, all this dulls the desire for physical attraction. The whole situation is complicated by the child sleeping next to him, because both parents want to relax, otherwise everything will be quickly and in some “corner”.
Quite often this problem can be solved, the main thing is the desire to do it. Sometimes men simply either ignore this problem or simply do not want to solve it and let their young wife understand what exactly caused the problems in their intimate life.
Fatigue, stress, problems
There are often cases when a husband does not want his wife due to constant fatigue, stress and problems of various kinds. In most cases, the source of this situation is work, when the husband is tired physically or mentally, a large number of tasks are entrusted to his shoulders, he is supervised by tough bosses, or he often faces stressful situations and problems that may arise not because of work, but for other reasons.
Of course, in this case, all thoughts will be about problems and worries, and about how to protect yourself from all this and calm down. Most often, a man withdraws into himself and tries to be alone with his thoughts, or finds joy in computer games, reading, etc.
In this state, he has no desire for intimacy, because he wants to do this out of attraction, and not for show, fulfilling marital duty, where this process is precisely a duty.
Fall out of love or no attraction
A much more complex problem is when the husband does not want his wife because he has lost attraction to her, or rather, she does not excite him or attract him as a woman. Here the roots of the problem can grow from completely different reasons.
We called this point “fallen out of love and there is no attraction,” although as life shows, the lack of love is a rather abstract reason for the lack of attraction and intimate life, but, nevertheless, sometimes its absence really has an impact.
Over the course of many years of family life together, people, of course, get used to each other, and sometimes, as they say, become boring, especially when it comes to intimate life. Over the course of several years together, the husband has studied and knows his wife inside and out; sexual life becomes very monotonous and boring, as a result of which he simply doesn’t want it all anymore, because it doesn’t bring the same passion, inner fire and pleasure as before. The exact same thing often happens to women.
The most common situation is when a husband does not want his wife because of her unsexy appearance or boring image: the same hairstyle (which turns into a ponytail at home), a striped dressing gown, terry socks, etc. After all, this is where it all begins. Especially when all this carries over to the weekend: women walk around too much at home, not bothering with their appearance, when from Sunday evening she begins to pay maximum attention to her appearance, for others, but not for him.
In the listed cases, intimate relationships can arise between spouses, but very, very rarely, solely as a means of satisfying a physical need.
Separately, it is worth highlighting such a reason as sexual apathy towards his wife. A man treats his other half very well, she is very dear and close to him - a dear person, maybe he even loves her, but he does not consider her as a sexual object. It’s not that she doesn’t excite him or is not sexy for him, but he’s simply not attracted to her. Sometimes the mere thought of this in a man causes some hostility.
Mistress
If a husband no longer wants to sleep with his wife figuratively, and even literally, then it is possible that he does not need it, since he has something else on the side. This is what girls think about first, but this reason is far from being in first place.
In this case, a man may lose attraction to his wife, because he is in love with someone else, it is more interesting to do this with her, or he is tired, since he satisfied all his needs with his mistress.
Looking for reasons for betrayal is the topic of a separate article; in particular, we have already talked about this in the article. There are two main reasons why men have mistresses: the so-called loneliness (when it is difficult for him to be with only one woman or his wife is no longer attracted to him) and problems in relationships (misunderstandings, quarrels, etc.).
Health problems
Well, another reason why a husband does not want a wife is health problems. This situation is extremely rare, but nevertheless it needs to be mentioned.
Diseases that affect male sexual function can be divided into two groups: general and special. Special diseases include diseases of the reproductive system that directly affect the sexual function of men. General diseases include all other diseases that, due to pain and discomfort, dull the desire for intimacy, or indirectly affect the reproductive system, which also leads to such reluctance.
Ways to solve the problem
As you can see, most of the reasons a man doesn't want sex with his wife have to do with himself. However, in some of them the fair half of humanity also appears. And if those problems where the cause lies largely in the wife are solvable, then where the problem lies in the man, they are very difficult to solve.It is important to understand that for almost all reasons (except the last one), both are in principle to blame for bringing their intimate life to such an extent. Even where the wife is the reason for the lack of sex in a married couple, the husband is also to blame, just as vice versa.
Analyze everything
To understand why my husband doesn’t want me, you first need to analyze family life, the everyday atmosphere and other related factors. You also need to understand whether intimate relationships are needed when a woman wants her husband, tenderness, romance, so that it is something more than physiology, or whether physiology is needed exclusively to satisfy an ordinary physical need, and the husband is the one who should do this . Sometimes women themselves don’t want their husband, they just want physical release, so in such a situation you yourself must understand him.
Very often, girls say that my husband and I do not sleep together, on the same bed - this is where the spouses begin to grow apart, both morally and physiologically. A husband and wife must have a marital bed, and while they are married, they must sleep on it together. It should be as convenient and comfortable as possible. Even the blanket should be one for two.
In most cases, routine and monotony kill your intimate life. This not only depends on everyday life, the wife’s homely appearance, but also on the sex itself, which should be interesting for both, and not follow the standard classical pattern. On many forums, men say that it is the routine of sex that kills his desire with his wife. For many girls, sometimes even changing positions is something unacceptable, not to mention various games. When, for example, the wife responds to her husband’s request for oral sex: okay, I’ll do it, since that’s what you want - what desire will the husband have after that!? Of course, when a woman has her own taboos and something is unpleasant for her, there is no need to force herself if she just can’t get the mood for it.
After analyzing all of the above, perhaps you will find the source of the problem and be able to solve it together with your husband. Below we will tell you what you need to do to try to bring sex back into your married life so that husband and wife want each other.
Talk
We need to have a heart-to-heart talk. Very often, girls complain that they try in every possible way to discuss this topic and problem with their husband, but he avoids the conversation or resorts to various excuses. It’s even worse when the husband doesn’t see a problem at all in the lack of sexual relations with his wife.
It is extremely important to have a heart-to-heart talk so that the husband tells him what doesn’t suit him about his wife, in family and intimate life, the wife should also tell her husband about what she doesn’t like about all this. Listen to each other without interrupting, there is no need to be offended by some words, because you must find the causes of the problem. It is possible that you will need to reconsider your attitude towards certain issues or change something in yourself. But initiative and action must come from both spouses.
It’s very good in this conversation to not hesitate to tell each other about yours. Perhaps some of this will find the interest and support of another. However, if at first one of the spouses is struck by some of the desires of the other, then there will be nothing wrong with this, but he or she will, and it happens that, digesting this information, these ideas do not seem so scary and even on the contrary, they start to like you and get hooked on you.
Create the right conditions
An integral component of physical intimacy is the relationship between spouses. A husband and wife should be one, understand each other and be close. The wife, as the keeper of the home, must create conditions of comfort, and the husband must contribute to this. Reconsider your relationship, perhaps the atmosphere in your home is far from comfortable and romantic - this can be changed. Get closer to your husband, be together as often as possible, communicate, find common topics for conversation, etc.
It is necessary to try to restore order in the apartment, and if possible, rearrange it so that the apartment is cozy. There is no need to constantly “nag” your husband, reproach him and educate him, or as they also say, “blow his brains out.”
If the causes of problems in intimate life are the husband’s fatigue, stress, etc., it is very important to help him solve them, and not interfere with his bed. It is important to become a support for him, to create an oasis at home among the desert of problems, and then it will be possible to solve an intimate problem.
When a child becomes the cause of this family problem, you just need to get through this period. However, you can find a couple of hours while the child is sleeping to relax and satisfy physical attraction. You can ask the parents to sit with the baby for a few hours, and rent a room or apartment yourself, and relax there and give yourself to each other.
Well, the last thing we want to mention in this block is the woman’s appearance. Surely the wife knows her husband’s taste preferences, what women are like and what he likes about them. Therefore, you can change something, especially if the image has not been refreshed for a long time: hairstyle, hair color,... It is important to pay attention to your figure; it may be worth sitting on. You definitely need to take care of yourself in general, and in particular at home, charming your husband. When there is a beauty in front of him with manicure, depilation, in a beautiful robe with a twist, it will not leave him indifferent.
Variety helps
Diversity will help solve the problem, and in everything. It is necessary to try to bring something new into everyday life: trips, hobbies, friends, etc. Thanks to this, a round of something new will give positive results. However, it is very important. You can introduce something new based on each other’s desires; here it is very important to relax and not be afraid.
If the problem lies in the fact that the husband is not attracted to the wife herself, then you can resort to petting; many couples note the positive results of this method in their intimate life. You can turn on relaxing music, videos of a certain genre, etc.
Difficult to resolve situations
When the reason for the lack of intimate life is the husband's illness, the wife needs to make every effort to help with treatment. There is simply no other solution to the problem in this case.
However, there are very difficult situations when nothing depends on the wife, the husband closes down and ignores everything. If all methods are in vain, there are three options left: find a lover, leave your husband, or reconcile. It is in such difficult situations that consulting a psychologist is very helpful.
We wish you success!
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“My husband stopped going to work,” the sad woman pronounces this phrase doomedly. And we are not talking about a person who lost his job as a result of a financial crisis or poor health. How to help a man get out of such a state and is it possible to see in advance a tendency towards parasitism in the chosen one?
Is this treatable?In one family, a young pianist husband worked part-time in a restaurant in the evenings, but he was tired of this occupation, and he announced to his wife that he no longer wanted to play for “chewing moneybags”, and that he would not exchange for another job, because he was going to prepare for a competition named after P.I. Tchaikovsky; The competition will be in 4 years. As a result, the wife became the breadwinner, and the husband calmly picks up the child from kindergarten, spends evenings with him, does not do anything that he considers beneath his dignity, does not earn money, but does not suffer from the lack of it. In another situation, a man admits that he is “tired” of work; he also sits at home and happily helps the nanny with the children, cooks dinner for his wife, and cleans the apartment. Despite the fact that he used to devote himself to work with rapture, he is currently very happy with the state of things. He believes that he is doing "real things and living a real life." True, for some reason he began to actively notice his wife’s shortcomings - he either blames her for being a bad mother and doesn’t spend enough time with the children, or she doesn’t take care of the house the way he wanted - she doesn’t cook food, doesn’t wash the floors.
Can a “normal” man not want to work? Isn't conscious withdrawal into family life and household a sign of some hidden problems?
Alexander KOLMANOVSKY, psychologist, Head of the center for socio-psychological rehabilitation “Our Life”:
– A man’s desire to stay at home appears when the possibility of self-realization is impaired. For example, when a person’s claim is greater than the basis for it, as in the case of a pianist who has very great claims to success, but he has to start with a restaurant pianist. Or when a person is minding his own business and does not understand it, when he is not pulling his weight - he works as a manager, but should be a teacher, etc. I would not say that men not working is a trend, but the changing times themselves contribute to this, because women have become freer, more protected, and the family is not as dependent on one man as it was before.
What to do with it, how to live with it? To comment on situations with husbands who do not want to work and to give advice to wives, we asked Archpriest Maxim PERVOZVANSKY, cleric of the Church of the Forty Martyrs in Spasskaya Sloboda, editor-in-chief of the magazine “Heir”:
The reasons for men's “non-work” are varied; and in one situation this is justified, but in another it is “not curable” at all. Let's say a wife has the opportunity to get a good job, earn more than her husband, and the spouses, by mutual agreement, decide that it is more convenient for the husband to stay at home with the child, and for the wife to go to work. And there is nothing wrong with this, especially if the personal qualities are such that the wife does not become the administrator of the family, the commander who gives orders: “You sit at home, do this and that!” But if the husband is basically “too lazy to work,” the situation requires professional intervention. True, you cannot forcefully help a person, just as you cannot cure an alcoholic unless he himself wants to stop drinking.
In any case, if the “non-work” has been prolonged, only a specialist can figure out whether this is a temporary situation associated with depression or a midlife crisis, or a “normal” and comfortable state for a man. But we will not talk now about such extreme situations when professional help is needed. Let’s listen to the advice that our experts give if the reluctance to work is “treated at home.”
Brainstorm: how to remove Emelya from the stove?
There lived a husband and wife, she constantly scolded him, at least behind his back - and his job, they say, is stupid, and he doesn’t earn any money at all, and doesn’t do anything around the house - he can’t drive a nail into a wall properly, she has to do everything. “Why do we need such a man!” – each time the wife finished the monologue. She endured and endured, and divorced him. But he was not left alone, as his ex-wife later said: “a certain young lady picked him up,” he got a job, began to earn money and take care of the house. This situation is quite common.
The first wife suppressed any initiative of her husband, and the second, on the contrary, made her feel that he is the head of the family, bears responsibility, hopes are pinned on him, and he is a support. With his first wife, the man constantly felt a sense of guilt, they constantly demanded something from him, scolded him for doing everything wrong.
Father Maxim Pervozvansky:
In a situation of continuous reproach, the man becomes constrained and, unable to bear it, leaves. Everything greatly depends on the type of psyche - there are people who are driven, they are comfortable when people decide for them what to do and how, and there are those who strive for something, but their wife “does not give it”, and they become lack of initiative. But women often behave this way simply because they don’t know any other way. In a situation with a lack of initiative husband, a woman is often not happy with the current situation - she asked, the husband did not comply, she demanded, the husband refused on principle. We are all principled to the point of disgrace, we do not know how to give in. But it was necessary not to demand from the husband, but to try, on the contrary, to ask his opinion: “What do you think, dear, let’s think together, dear...”
Gives even more specific advice Alexander Kolmanovsky:
Often a man’s refusal to work is caused by a crisis or loss, and the man himself may not realize this. It seems to him that he is just tired or that no one understands or appreciates him. You don’t need to pay attention to his explanations; in this state, he doesn’t say what he really thinks about life and work; he just says something to fend off reproaches. Such emptiness of a man is most often accompanied by an unconscious feeling that he is bad, wrong, unpromising. Therefore, in order to “rehabilitate” him, he must be placed in an atmosphere of unconditional acceptance. He must be taught that any of his manifestations, actions, even negative ones, evoke sympathy from his wife and not condemnation. Let's say my husband spent the whole night on the Internet. The sympathetic wife will say in the morning: “Poor thing, how come you didn’t get enough sleep.” And the condemning one... well, there’s a lot of room for creativity.
As for his, my husband’s, work, we must understand the difference between self-affirmation, on the one hand, and self-realization, on the other. If a wife calls on her husband to “finally become a man, a breadwinner,” this makes him feel in constant neurosis. But if she helps him truly find himself, even at the temporary expense of his earnings, he will feel better and trust her.
You can brainstorm with your husband. “Tell me, if you had a magic wand, what would you like to do?” - “Ah, nothing, it would be lying on the stove.” They retreated, and two weeks later again: “Well, you’ve been lying on the stove for a long time, you’ll get bored; what would you like to do? The goal of this approach is not to force a man to finally make up his mind, but only to stimulate his inner search.
Without cutting off oxygen
Both the priest and the psychologist advise: take a closer look at your chosen ones even before the registry office. We must pay attention to how a man behaves with his parents, how he behaves in a quarrel, in conflict, what conclusions he draws from this experience. Alexander Kolmanovsky suggests evaluating your future spouse as follows: “The right chosen one is not the one whose merits delighted you, but the one whose shortcomings touched you.”
Oddly enough, from the advice of male experts, the conclusion follows: the main responsibility for establishing a peaceful and mutually respectful existence in the family falls on the fragile shoulders of women. Again and again we need to learn to restrain ourselves, endure and negotiate, not make claims and support our husbands in every possible way, in no case without cutting off their oxygen.
Men who find themselves without work can be helped by the words of a person who has lived through such an experience. Arseniy, 40 years old, was unemployed for about a year: “All my life, from the age of 18, I worked. I simply could not imagine my life without work. But in 2008, during the crisis, I found myself sitting at home. At first it was a shock, but then gradually I began to get the hang of it, in a good way. I started doing things I had never done before. My wife went to work, and I prepared breakfast for myself and my son, who was one and a half years old at that moment, and went for a walk with him. We made snowmen and sledded down the hills. Then we had lunch together, I learned how to cook soup, and read books. All this time I was looking for a job, sometimes even went for interviews, but I really liked “staying at home”. I think that if at some point I had not made an effort on myself and agreed to go to a job that was not “the dream of my whole life” - not in my specialty, with a small salary, much less prestigious than the one I worked at Before this, the house could have drawn me in. Over time, I again found what I was interested in, so I think it’s wrong to sit at home without getting a job because it’s below your self-image. On the other hand, remembering that period, I understand that the Lord sent me an excellent vacation; it was perhaps the happiest time of my life.”
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Passion, lust, excitement... of all this, it seems, there is nothing left. My husband says he doesn't want sex with me. For him, you see, “everything has faded away, everything has passed.” But I’m only 35, I’m beautiful and strangers flirt with me. What to do? Change? I'm not one of those... Get a divorce? We have children together, and I love him... All that remains is to figure out why it happens that a man does not want a woman. There is a reason - and not just one.
Why doesn't a husband want a wife? What is the reason for decreased interest in sex?
Is it possible to return to the past: so that instead of “I don’t want”, “I want more than once” appears again?
What mistakes do women make in bed that make men stop wanting sex with them?
All newlyweds know firsthand about the unprecedented sexual upsurge. Even those who are not very young. A man wants a woman, a woman wants a man - everything is fine with them. Especially on your honeymoon. But then some time passes and everything changes: desires fade away. The best of evils is if they fade away “mutually.” It’s much worse when one’s tomatoes are completely wilted, while the other’s is still burning inside. In this situation, it is especially difficult for a woman: asking for sex is inconvenient, scolding for absence is disrespectful to herself. But you can remain silent, sulk and wait until the second coming. Nothing changes after all. In this article we are looking for an answer to the question: What to do in such a delicate situation when the husband does not want sex with his wife?
My husband said he doesn't want me?
In fact, there are two reasons for the waning of sexual lust between husband and wife. One lies entirely in the very nature of relationships, the second lies in the sphere of human psychology. Due to a basic lack of understanding of the difference between them, we most often do not find any solution. Let's try to separate them.
So, first reason- these are the physiological characteristics of our body. When a person meets his ideal soul mate, his insides respond with excitement. Kisses, touches, even smell serve as sulfur in the match of passion. The reaction is almost instantaneous and very clearly felt, especially by women: the head is spinning, the lower abdomen is pleasantly cramping, and there is something especially warm inside the body.
Such reactions to a loved one are absolutely normal, just like the fact that they gradually fade away. Nature is very rational and gives us only about three years to survive. And then nature doesn’t need excitement and pleasure from humans: it needs to build a house, take care of children, and fulfill itself for society. Everything above, namely the pleasure of sex, is already the concern of the established couple. It just won't happen anymore, you need to make an effort.
The second reason- our subconscious desires, which begin to manifest themselves as soon as the grip of natural attraction begins to weaken. At first, under the pressure of sexual arousal, we easily go to peace, we can give in or forgive. But gradually the veil falls away and what has always been in us comes out, just temporarily dulled. I want to enjoy life not only in sex, but also in other areas: at work, in hobbies, with friends. And then the beloved partner becomes an obstacle, which causes irritation, resentment, and anger.
All this is also normal and natural. We are all people, we are all different. What makes the matter worse is that when we fall in love, we are often our opposite, which means our interests are contradictory.
Central error is that, having discovered the extinction of desire on the part of her husband, the wife rushes to solve the first reason. She wants to return everything to how it was in the first months of their sexual life together, and she is looking for a way to do this. He buys perfume with pheromones, puts on beautiful lingerie, and invites you on a trip to the same hotel where you spent your honeymoon. It seems to her that everything can be returned. However, this is a mistake. Nature is always precise and economical. It never repeats itself.
The situation can be corrected only for the second reason. Don’t be offended by your husband because he stopped wanting sex, but understand his true desires. Yes, they do not lie in the sphere of sex and ardor, but still they are somehow attached to his woman, which means that with the right effort, a lot can be achieved. And here the main thing is accuracy and understanding.
What to do if the husband does not want his wife?
At its core, a person is a bundle of desires. Each of us has many desires, they are all different and most often completely unconscious by us. Our whole life, including sexual preferences, depends on these desires. If a woman finds the desires of her man (as they say, the strings of the soul), then she can be a sexual object of desire for him all her life, regardless of how much time has passed since the beginning of the relationship: 3 years or 20.
Today, human desires are described in System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan; they are divided into 8 vectors. We can give several illustrative examples in which it becomes obvious why the husband’s desire for his wife is fading in a couple.
So, if a man has a skin vector, the factor of novelty is very important for him. The same position, the same bed quickly becomes boring. I want something new and unusual. This is especially evident if the leather worker does not have the opportunity to realize his desire for novelty, for example, at work or at home. Everything in his life is the same, and even sex is the same. His normal reaction is boring, not interesting. By the way, it is men with the skin vector who most often directly tell their women: “I don’t want you, I don’t like you anymore.”
The type completely opposite to him is a man with an anal vector. He is a man of quality and does not like fuss. Including in bed. The result is important to him, he is caring. What is important to him is cleanliness, the complaisance of his wife, well-groomed children, comfort created in the house, and that the slippers are in their place. You can’t push him or rush him, this will disrupt his rhythm. He is committed to tradition and likes everything that has already been tried a hundred times.
Let's imagine a situation that is quite ordinary for any couple. 3 years have passed, the former desires of men for their women have faded away. Both anal and cutaneous. What are their wives doing? They make mistakes.
The skinner's wife is often a woman with an anal vector. Through herself, she tries to please her husband: to create more comfort in the house, so that the children are clean and the house shines. She cooks a delicious dinner, she puts his slippers in his place. It does everything except what it needs: variety. Interest fades even more, the man strives to stay longer at work, realizing his social aspiration: to earn money and make a career. And the wife is disappointed: why doesn’t my husband want sex with me, since I do everything for him?
And the wife of an anal man (most often a skinner), on the contrary, tries to stir him up, to give novelty to fading feelings. Invites him to have sex in the cinema toilet, buys either silk sheets or a water mattress, looks out for new positions in the Kama Sutra. All this brings stress to a man who is used to doing everything the same way. He is not turned on by experiments; on the contrary, they are repelled by them. And if the house is also a mess, then it’s a disaster. On weekends he goes fishing, and after work he drinks beer with friends. Why doesn't such a husband want sex with his wife? Because he falls into a stupor from her.
What should I do if my husband says he doesn't want me?
The example with the skin and anal vectors in husbands is just a fraction of our misunderstanding of each other. Each vector has its own desires and our lack of understanding pushes them away, adding hostility to an already unbalanced relationship. Quarrels, resentment, anger begin. Fervent sex will no longer correct the situation, as it was at the beginning of the relationship. His strength is gone forever.
Wanting to get married as soon as possible, many girls can’t even imagine how you can feel unattractive and lonely while living next to your husband. The husband’s refusal to have sexual relations is the most common problem of modern spouses, which shows that the wife is not sexually attractive to her husband and means absolutely nothing to him as a woman. For any woman, there is nothing worse than living together with a man who ignores her in bed.
Often women Those who ask the question: “Why doesn’t my husband want me?” are inventing problems for themselves. You don’t need to rely on the fact that at the beginning of your married life you and your husband had sexual intercourse every day or even several times a day. Gradually, their frequency decreases and the couple enters the so-called UFR (conditioned physiological reflex), according to which 2-3 sexual contacts per week are considered the norm.
Usually like this rhythm of sexual life established after 2 years of marriage. The UFR zone for all couples cannot be the same, based on the individual characteristics of the spouses, sex between them may be more often or less often than this norm. You only need to worry about the fact that your husband has cooled off towards you only when you have been recently married and have not had sexual contact with your husband for a week.
Sexy attractiveness A woman’s beauty does not depend only on external beauty, it is closely related to her spiritual qualities. There are many tips from psychologists for eliminating the causes of solving sexual problems, one of the most popular among which is to change your appearance, buy fishnet underwear, do sexy makeup, take a bath in aromatic oils and arrange a sex shop for your husband. But this whole outfit will have no effect on a man who is tired of living together with a capricious wife and is only thinking about how to earn a lot of money in order to appease his wife’s insatiable appetite.
man A person who comes tired from work and wants to quickly eat and relax can only be frightened by latex clothing. Imagine, he walks in the door hungry and tired, and then instead of a delicious dinner, his wife comes out of the bedroom in stockings. Such events should be arranged only after a romantic dinner, or after discussing it with your husband in advance, otherwise all efforts may be in vain. If a wife constantly nags her husband and cannot discuss a single problem with him calmly, then sex between them would be “sadomasochism.”
In a healthy man there will never be an attraction to a woman who just recently humiliated him with the words: “You are a weakling!”, “You are a bastard!”, “You are a stingy one!” and so on. Even if the offended husband has a desire, it is quickly extinguished at the sight of his formidable wife. There is no need to constantly pester a man, demanding to fulfill his marital duty; sexual desire does not arise from kicks. All problems that arise in the family should be discussed in a calm atmosphere at the negotiating table.
Men- people are unpredictable, so if it seems to you that your husband does not want you, then you should not blame only yourself for everything and not pay attention to his behavior. Possible reasons for coldness in men may be the following:
1. He has health problems. Men only feel comfortable with a woman who gives him the opportunity to control the situation and feel like the head of the family. That is why any violations in physical intimacy with his wife greatly hurt him, especially if his own body betrays him. Imagine a situation: a husband wants to demonstrate his masculine qualities in front of his beloved and desired wife, but at the most crucial moment the body capitulates.
For a self-respecting man, there is no greater tragedy than impotence at a young age. Usually, at such moments, men try to drown out feelings of shame with various excuses: tired, drank a lot, worried, and so on. If this happens again and again, then this is a reason to consult a doctor.
2. He has a mistress. When a husband doesn't want his wife, the first thing that comes to mind is cheating. Getting a woman into bed is a victory for a man. The longer a man achieves this, the stronger his desire to possess a woman. But as soon as he satisfies his passion, his body demands new victories.
Wanting to feel the joy of these victories, husbands cheat on their wives. To avoid this, try to constantly change. Take care of your appearance, join the gym, get a new hairstyle and update your wardrobe. Diversify sex, and to do this, try new positions and places for making love.
But the problem is availability mistresses for a husband, it can only be invented by the wife herself, whose self-esteem has decreased due to her husband’s coldness. Do not try to immediately accuse your husband of cheating, first try to find out from him the reasons for the decrease in sexual interest in you by talking about it in private.
3. He's tired. If your husband works a lot, then he doesn’t want sex because he gets very tired at work. In this case, sexual attraction to his wife will return as soon as the man is fully rested.
