"Closed poses" Body in communication

Open and Closed Questions In the previous chapter we said that advice is often given to a person based on the belief that he lacks integrity, abilities and resources. Directions are usually used to correct him on something; however, the adviser does not recognize

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Why doesn't everyone manage to pass an interview, despite an impeccable resume and extensive work experience? Because during an interview, it is important not only what we say, but also how we say it and what hidden emotions we unconsciously give away with our postures and gestures.

So, what Can gestures turn a recruiter AGAINST you? Let's look at prohibited gestures and postures for each of the most frequently asked interview questions.

Question 1. Tell us about yourself

Prohibited gestures

As a rule, at the beginning of the interview, recruiters ask quite standard and even banal questions. Many applicants probably have pre-prepared answers to them. For example, the question: “Tell me about yourself.” If, when answering this seemingly elementary question, you sit in a “closed position”, that is, with your arms crossed over your chest, you will demonstrate a clearly negative reaction: either self-doubt or defensiveness - as if you are defending yourself from a potential employer.

It’s even worse if you also have your legs crossed. As a rule, this position means that you are simply uncomfortable sitting, but in combination with crossed arms, it can be interpreted as a sign of a negative and even hostile attitude towards the interlocutor. It is quite natural that this will cause a similar reaction from the recruiter.

There are several variations of this pose. For example, if a person clenches his hands into a fist, this also expresses hostility.

If the applicant is not in a negative mood, but simply wary and seemingly defensive, he may demonstrate an “incomplete barrier” - when one arm lies along the body, slightly bent at the elbow, and the other just holds onto it in the elbow area.

Also, an “incomplete barrier” can be formed by a handbag placed on your knees, or a mobile phone - if you hold it not with one, but with both hands.

Recruiter's reaction

When a recruiter sees such hidden signals from an applicant, he will naturally be dissatisfied and may demonstrate his dissatisfaction to you with similar gestures or “closed postures.”

Another option is also possible: at the end of the interview he will simply become bored, and he will not hide it: he will lean on the chair and rest his chin on his palm, will look away and even at the level of facial expressions will show that everything you say is completely irrelevant to him. important.

If you’re completely lost in thought, the recruiter can rub his ear - as a sign that he’s tired of your story - or make a straight gesture with his straight palm extended forward. This means “Stop, stop, you've talked enough today.”

Question 2. Name your shortcomings

Prohibited gestures

The biggest mistake an applicant makes is to think that such a question is initially stupid, because he, who is so wonderful, simply cannot have any shortcomings. Then, in addition to the “closed pose,” he will also demonstrate self-confidence and superiority - crossing his arms over his chest, but at the same time leaving his thumbs up. This is the same as directly telling the recruiter: “What a stupid question? Isn't it obvious that I have no shortcomings? Only a complete layman could ask such a question.”

Gesture critical assessment

Recruiter's reaction

In response, the recruiter will most likely show you a critical attitude to your words: palm on the side of your face, index finger extended along the temple, other fingers bent above or below the chin.

Question 3. Why did you leave your previous job?

Prohibited gestures

As a rule, in response to this question, candidates try to say that they did not have the opportunity for career or professional growth, but the real reason often turns out to be completely different. If the applicant tells the recruiter about career growth, but at the same time:

Covers mouth with hand;

Or touches his nose;

Or rubs his eyelid,

the recruiter will easily understand that you are simply lying to him. That the reason for your departure was most likely a conflict with your superiors or the employer’s dissatisfaction with the effectiveness of your work. Oddly enough, it is these circumstances that applicants most often prefer to hide.

Negative attitude to the interlocutor

Recruiter's reaction

Hands folded on your knees mean disappointment and a negative attitude towards your interlocutor. If your hands are raised to chest level, you have practically no chance - this gesture expresses complete and almost uncompromising negativity; It’s unlikely that this recruiter will like you anymore.

Question 4. What is your desired salary?

Prohibited gestures

Even if the figure promised to you by potential employers causes you genuine delight, you should not express it openly, much less rub your hands (even barely noticeably), since this will reveal your only real motive for passing this interview - greed. The recruiter will interpret this gesture to mean that you are only interested in money and nothing but money, you are absolutely not ready to work devotedly and enthusiastically for the benefit of the company and its clients, you are not worried about professional growth and acquiring new skills; accordingly, you do not want to learn something new, “get creative,” develop new projects or revolutionary strategies, etc.

Recruiter's reaction

If the interlocutor does not like your attitude towards work (as a source of enrichment - and nothing more), this will be visible in his facial expressions: he may slightly shake his head from side to side and curl his lips, expressing dissatisfaction.

Sign of nervousness

Question 5. How long do you plan to work for us?

Prohibited gestures

This question often makes candidates nervous. They start:

Rub your wrists;

Or fiddle with the watch strap;

Either somehow roll up or, conversely, straighten the sleeves.

All of these are hidden signs of nervousness, which indicate that you are not yet sure whether you want to stay at this place of work for a long time or simply consider it as a “transshipment point.”

Recruiter's reaction

If the interlocutor understands that you are ready to take off as soon as you are offered a big salary, he may become impatient - like, why are you wasting my time then? - and will show this by tapping your fingers on the armrests or pulling your elbows closer to the back of the chair, while leaning back or, conversely, straightening up sharply.

Question 6. Tell us about your achievements

Acceptable Gestures

If the candidate is proud of his achievements and tells the truth, he can use a gesture of superiority or its variations - for example, grasping the lapel of a jacket (the edge of a jacket, sweater, etc.) with his thumb up.

Prohibited gestures

But if the candidate crosses his ankles, this will tell the recruiter that this is a person who is not entirely confident in his words: perhaps he is lying and therefore worried, perhaps he is too shy and does not know how to “present” himself correctly; or perhaps he, again, has a negative attitude towards the recruiter and does not consider himself obligated to report to him for his past services.

Be that as it may, this gesture will cause mistrust, and if the interviewer begins to distrust you, most likely you will fail the interview.

Gesture of distrust

Recruiter's reaction

In response, your interlocutor may rub his chin: this means that he is trying to assess how much truth there is in what you say, and whether only anxiety is the reason for your closed gestures and postures.

The male version of this gesture is stroking the chin lengthwise with the thumb and forefinger. The female version is stroking up and down with the index finger.

Question 7. How do you feel about recycling?

Prohibited gestures

Please note that this question does not mean that the employer will force you to stay late and work on weekends. Most likely, it is not beneficial for him himself. However, he would be pleased to know that you will be loyal to the company and, if something happens, you are ready to lend your shoulder (possibly for an additional reward.

However, applicants often take this question with hostility and demonstrate open aggression and dissatisfaction, resting one hand on their side or simply placing it on their waist (female version).

Another careless gesture is a strong forward tilt of the head; he expresses clear dissatisfaction and disagreement. In such cases, they say that the person has “gotten crazy.” Your emotions can be revealed even more strongly by pursed lips and a sideways glance.

Recruiter's reaction

Naturally, an employer who believes that in certain cases a candidate could devote more time to him than is required by the regulations may scratch his neck, thus showing disagreement with the position of the applicant.

If the interviewer starts picking lint from his clothes (or looking at his nails, as women sometimes do), he is hinting to his interlocutor that he should have given a different answer to this question.

Question 8. What do you know about our company?

Acute contradiction

Prohibited gestures

Any recruiter is pleased when a candidate comes to an interview prepared and speaks well of the employer’s company. But if at the same time the words “Oh, you have great company!” accompanied by a backward pointing gesture (the arm is bent at the elbow, the thumb is pointed upward, the applicant seems to be pointing behind his back), this indicates a dismissive attitude and even disrespect on the part of the candidate. The answer looks like a go-ahead: they say, I’ll tell you anything you want about your company, just give me a salary. But in fact, he most likely knows nothing at all about the company and its activities.

Recruiter's reaction

If the recruiter deciphers this gesture, he may respond by crossing his legs “American style,” when one leg lies on top of the other almost parallel to the floor. This pose shows acute contradiction and even indignation.

Question 9. Why do you want to work with us?

Prohibited gestures

Recruiters ask this question because it is important for them to know that the candidate is motivated to work for this particular company, and not just to earn money. But by this point the candidate may already be fed up with the protracted interview, and the interviewer himself. He begins to speak quietly, lower or avert his eyes, and close his eyelids. That is, remove the annoying object from sight.

Recruiter's reaction

An experienced personnel officer will immediately read in this gesture: “I’m so tired of you. Yes, I just want to work, I want to get money, and I don’t care where I earn it - in this office or in another.”

Moment of truth

If the recruiter has made a final decision, he can clasp his hands. Variations of the gesture - spire up (at chest level) or spire down (hands on knees).

Decision is made

Considering the combination of gestures described above, most likely this decision will not be in your favor.

Lesson for the future

To avoid disappointment in an interview. Train yourself to be more open and truthful, not to show gestures of lies, excitement, aggression or closedness. Watch yourself in everyday life: perhaps you use them constantly, but do not attach any importance to it.

When you arrive for an interview, sit comfortably and relaxed in a chair, take an “open pose”: your arms rest freely on the armrests, your legs stand straight, parallel to each other. This will show that you are completely open and ready for good things. Constructive dialogue.

the site thanks the portal Rabota.ru for assistance in preparing the material.

When communicating with each other, we use verbal means of communication: words, intonation. But each of us noticed our ability to receive information without listening to what we were told, and even in some cases without trusting what was said. This happens due to the fact that we receive non-verbal signals from the interlocutor, and first of all, we see the person’s postures, intuitively assessing whether they are open or closed, we pay attention to his gait and posture.

Open and closed poses

The interlocutor's posture is the position of his body in space. It cannot be assessed by just one element, for example, by the way a person’s arms, legs or head are positioned during communication. When assessing a pose, it is necessary to consider it in general, taking into account how he sits or stands, how his arms or legs are positioned, whether he has turned towards us or, on the contrary, tends to turn away.

All poses can be divided into open and closed.

Open poses indicate that the interlocutor is ready to receive information, he is able to hear his communication partner. As a rule, in this case he:

• turns to face the interlocutor;
• demonstrates open palms, which indicate a lack of desire to hide information and a willingness to listen to it;
• does not cross his arms and legs, showing that he has no need to defend himself from his communication partner;
• looks into the eyes;
• smiles or, at a minimum, does not frown or wrinkle his forehead;
• leans forward, reducing the distance between himself and the interlocutor.

But if suddenly, in the process of communication, a person begins to change the position of his body, taking closed poses, then this means that his attitude both to the information he heard, and to the conversation itself and the interlocutor has changed. Closedness appears if the communication partner:

• crossed his arms over his chest;
• turned half a turn, unless this is caused by the need to answer a question from a third interlocutor who has approached;
• turned his head away;
• stopped looking into the eyes of the interlocutor;
• crossed his legs;
• began to lean back, as if trying to distance himself from the participant in the conversation.

Having received such signals, it is worth thinking about what caused such changes, and, if necessary, taking measures to return the interlocutor to a state of openness.

Body language with examples

Body postures can be divided into several main groups according to the type of information they convey to interlocutors.

1st group

– poses of demonstrating power and submission. In order to see them, it is enough to follow the conversation and his subordinates at least once, and the higher the status of the leader, the more clearly the signs characteristic of these postures are demonstrated.

The manifestation of power can be assessed by such indicators as:

• sitting imposingly in a chair, leaning back;
• the “arms on hips” pose, due to which a person increases the space around him, making himself visually larger than he actually is;
• Hanging over your interlocutor, deliberately approaching him is a desire to violate personal space and exert psychological pressure.

Demonstration of submission is expressed in the following:

• the interlocutor “squeezes” his personal space, grouping himself, squeezing into a chair or armchair;
• crosses his arms, as if hugging himself, thereby protecting himself from external aggression;
• does not look the manager in the eye;
• lowers his head and looks up at the leader.

2nd group

– postures of inclusion in or exclusion from communication.

When included in a discussion, the interlocutors turn to face each other, lean forward without violating each other’s personal space, demonstrate acceptance - open palms, smile, look into the face.

If they are not in the mood to communicate, then in this case they turn away from the person and try not to look in his direction.

The interlocutor himself may demonstrate reluctance to continue the conversation. In this case, he, not wanting to talk, crosses his arms, leans away or sits down from his interlocutors, and crosses his legs. All these gestures indicate that the person does not want to join the conversation, and he is ready to stop it at any moment, since communication is unpleasant for him.

3rd group

– demonstration of agreement or opposition in communication. If the interlocutors agree with each other’s opinion or point of view, then they demonstrate a movement towards them by leaning forward. During the discussion, they often repeat each other’s gestures, as if mirroring them, while the gestures themselves show openness and a mood for dialogue.

Confrontation is always expressed in closed postures and a certain aggressiveness: one leg is put forward, hands clenched into fists, one shoulder moves forward.

Standing poses

It is interesting, when observing the communication of several people standing and communicating with each other, to determine how the interlocutors are disposed towards each other.

If they are all equally included in the conversation, then everyone looks at each other, easily turns to each other, without excluding anyone from the social circle.

By turning the toe of the shoe, you can see whether the interlocutors are involved in the conversation or whether they have a desire to leave it. If the sock is turned towards the communication partner, then everything is fine, the attitude towards him is positive. If the sock is turned away from the interlocutor, then this indicates that the person has no desire to continue and is ready to leave. Thus, the position of the foot indicates whether the conversation will continue, or whether it is likely to end soon.

Sitting poses

The sitting postures of the interlocutors also convey a large amount of information about how they perceive the communication situation.

To assess nonverbal information conveyed through a person's sitting posture, it is important to assess body tilt.

Gait

“And I recognize a sweetheart by his gait” - this line from a famous song emphasizes that gait is individual. It is very difficult to change, as is your character. Therefore, by studying gait, one can draw quite a lot of conclusions about the personal characteristics of its owner.

When assessing how a person moves in space, you need to pay attention to:

• rhythm of movements;
• walking speed;
• step length;
• “strength” of gait – the force of pressure when walking;
• hand and foot coordination;
• head and shoulder position.

A person with a long stride, as a rule, belongs to an active personality type, is open to communication, and aims to achieve a goal.

Mincing with short steps, he is hardly an open person; rather, he is cautious, inclined to control the situation and not rush into active actions.

Now let’s imagine two people: one rhythmically and briskly striding along the road, and the second slowly trudges towards him. The first is clearly aimed at solving a problem, he has a specific interest in something and, most likely, he is in a good mood. The second is depressed, perhaps tired, and he has no obvious interest in what is happening. If such types of gait are always inherent in a person, then this speaks of character, but if this is a temporary phenomenon, then we can talk about the manifestation of a psychological state that has developed at a given moment in time.

Posture

Posture, like gait, should be assessed, first of all, on the basis of observing a person over a certain period of time, so as not to be mistaken in the interpretation.

1. A straight back, straightened shoulders, and the absence of visible tension in the body indicate that the interlocutor is confident, calm and open to communication.
2. A person about whom they often say: “I swallowed a stake” is most likely tense, tries to stand too straight, and gesticulates little. All this may indicate his desire to close himself off, since now he does not feel very confident, he has no desire to actively communicate with others.
3. Sluggish posture can be a consequence of fatigue and exposure to prolonged stress. As a rule, his shoulders are lowered and his movements are slow.
4. A “croaker” back, hunched shoulders and a lowered head can indicate a person’s lack of confidence in his strengths and capabilities.

The ability to read nonverbal body signals helps a person see what is hidden behind the words. But when interpreting these signals, it is important to have knowledge in the field of non-verbal body language, and to take a comprehensive approach to assessing a person’s posture, gait or posture.

Sometimes people's words do not correspond to their true beliefs and intentions. Nonverbal gestures will help you figure out what your interlocutor is really thinking about. Be a little more careful when communicating. This will allow you to receive much more information than your opponent would like to convey.

Is it true?

Many people are skeptical about such an issue as Gestures; facial expressions are perceived as something natural and mechanical. But it is precisely taking this fact into account that we can talk about the objectivity of the nonverbal mechanism. Psychologists have devoted many scientific works to this issue. But if this is not an argument for skeptics, it is enough to conduct independent observation. So, for example, having learned to decipher the thoughts and feelings of your family and friends, later you will be able to see through strangers.

Of course, we should not forget that there are exceptions to the rules. Thus, a person can take one position or another simply out of habit. In addition, it cannot be ruled out that he is not feeling well or is wearing uncomfortable clothes. Air temperature can have a significant impact on human behavior. Thus, the role of nonverbal communication should not be underestimated. However, before drawing final conclusions, it is worth carefully analyzing the conditions in which the conversation takes place.

What do hands in pockets say?

You can often notice how a person keeps his hands in his pockets during a conversation. Some consider this a manifestation of bad manners. Also, one should not reject the possibility that a person simply froze while in uncomfortable temperature conditions. However, if we consider non-verbal we can come to the following conclusions:

• Hands hidden in pockets can be evidence of intense concentration. A person in a similar position may think about something or build a plan of action. At the same time, he may sway slightly or roll from heel to toe.
• Another interpretation of this gesture - So, for example, at long meetings or social evenings, people often walk around with their hands in their pockets, because you cannot leave the event, but nothing interesting happens at it. Thus, if your interlocutor has adopted a similar position, it may be worth ending the conversation or taking it in a more exciting direction.
• If it is not the listener, but the speaker, who hid his hands in his pockets, this may indicate his insincerity. Usually, it is the hands that give away a lie, and therefore a person instinctively hides them so that you do not guess his intentions.
• Alternatively, hands in your pockets may indicate a passive position of your interlocutor. He most likely isn't interested or willing to do what you tell him to do. But the result, of course, will depend only on the level of your authority.
• If we consider the non-verbal gestures of men, then when communicating with ladies, hands hidden in the pocket of trousers (precisely trousers!) speak of sympathy and sexual desire. But when communicating with representatives of the same sex, they thus demonstrate power and independence.

Demonstration of superiority

Knowing nonverbal gestures can make your life much easier, because from them you can understand the true intentions and attitude of the interlocutor towards you. So, for example, if someone is trying to demonstrate self-confidence, as well as superiority and power over you, this can be understood by the following signs:

• The person puts his hands behind his back, sticking his chest forward. In this way he is trying to show his fearlessness.
• Hands are casually lowered into pockets, and the body is imposingly relaxed. By doing this, the person is trying to show that you are indifferent and uninteresting to him.
• Sometimes a domineering person may take a defensive stance, with his chest on his chest and his thumbs outstretched. The latter means that although he is trying to defend himself, he feels superior to you.

Tactile interaction

When considering nonverbal gestures, it is worth paying special attention to tactile interaction with the interlocutor. So, we can talk about the following:

• If you hug when meeting a friend or relative, the short contact should be perceived as nothing more than a tribute to decency.
• A tight hug means that the person misses you and is sincerely glad to see you. However, if the impact is too strong and you are literally suffocating from it, it is quite possible that the person is just trying to play up the joy of meeting you.
• If during a hug a person treats you with respect and you feel comfortable, this indicates respect for you.
• If, when meeting, a person is the first to open his palm for a handshake, this indicates his boundless trust in you.
• If during a handshake a person does not take the palm, but closer to the wrist, this indicates that he is suspicious. This is exactly how during the Roman Empire they checked whether the interlocutor had a dagger in his sleeve.
• If a person shakes your hand firmly or wraps both his palms around you and shakes you vigorously (perhaps even causing you discomfort), this only indicates that he is sincerely happy to meet you.
• If during a handshake you feel that your interlocutor’s hand is limp, then productive communication will not work, because he is not in the mood to contact you.
• If a person has his palm down, he is subconsciously seeking to dominate you.
• A pat on the shoulder means a friendly attitude. In addition, this gesture demonstrates the strength of the interlocutor and his willingness to help.
• Be attentive to people who grab your elbow during a conversation. Sensing your distrust, they try in a similar way to win you over and even convince you that he can become a reliable friend for you. But this gesture is not always sincere, because such a psychological technique is often used by people with selfish intentions.

How to recognize sympathy

One of the main problems in relationships between opposite sexes is mistrust. Sometimes nonverbal communication can tell more than words. Gestures that indicate sympathy are the following:

• - this is not a myth. A person experiencing sympathy actually looks a little differently, and the cornea becomes more hydrated. In addition, the pupils will be slightly dilated.
• A person in love on a subconscious level tries to please. Thus, when meeting, he performs various manipulations with his appearance: straightens his back, pulls in his stomach, straightens his hair.
• Both men and women try to draw attention to external sexual characteristics. This could be putting your fingers in the belt of your trousers, legs spread wide apart, or the top button of your shirt undone.
• Active gestures (sometimes inappropriate) can also serve as a sign of sympathy. The fact is that a person in love often loses control over his actions.
• You can assess the intentions of your interlocutor by the direction of his gaze. If he makes eye contact, there is reason to believe that he is interested in you as a person. And a glance running over the body speaks of nothing more than sexual desire.
• If your interlocutor of the opposite sex is constantly trying to get closer or touch you under any pretext, there is no doubt about his sympathy.

Lack of interest

Sometimes a person continues the story, not suspecting that the interlocutor is absolutely not interested in it. Nonverbal communication will come to the rescue. Gestures indicating indifference are:

• If your interlocutor crosses his arms over his chest, he instinctively closes himself off from you. You are either indifferent to him or unpleasant.
• Pay attention to where the other person's gaze is directed. If he looks anywhere but in your direction, then you should end the conversation.
• If a person wants to end the conversation and leave, constantly looking at his watch will give him away. Also, the toes of his shoes may be pointed towards the door.

Features of facial expressions

His facial expressions can say a lot about a person and his mood. Nonverbal gestures reflected on the face may indicate the following:

• narrowed eyes and pursed lips indicate an angry mood;
• raised eyebrows and wide open eyes mean surprise;
• in a state of fear, the lips are stretched wide and their corners are drawn down;
• happiness is characterized by a calm gaze and slightly raised corners of the mouth;
• a sad man brings his eyebrows together and lowers the corners of his lips.

Voice intonation

The main ways of transmitting information are verbal. Nonverbal gestures can reveal what the other person is trying to hide. No less informative can be intonation, which can tell about the following:

• fast and confused speech in low tones indicates strong excitement;
• confident and loud conversation indicates active enthusiasm;
• if a person speaks sluggishly, lowering his tone towards the end of the phrase, we are talking about fatigue;
• measured and slow speech, which is characterized by a constant tone, indicates the arrogance of the interlocutor;
• constant pauses in speech and unintentional mistakes indicate nervousness and self-doubt.

Signs of lying

Knowing the meaning of nonverbal gestures, you can recognize the lies of your interlocutors. So, it is worth paying attention to the following points:

• a long pause before the beginning of a phrase or frequent pauses;
• asymmetry in the work of facial muscles;
• facial expression does not change for more than 10 seconds;
• emotions arise late and do not correspond to the content of speech;
• a tight smile that creates not a curved, but a narrow lip line;
• lack of visual contact;
• manipulation of arms and legs (tapping, twitching), as well as lip biting;
• attempts to keep gestures under control;
• heavy breathing and a constant increase in voice pitch;
• closed posture with crossed arms and legs, as well as a hunched back;
• rubbing the nose or eyelid (it can be mechanical and barely noticeable);
• (in terms of gestures and facial expressions) more active than the left;
• exaggerated emotions and gestures;
• frequent blinking.

Distance

Considering non-verbal means of gestures, one cannot help but talk about the distance that is maintained between people under certain conditions. Thus, the following indicators are generally accepted:

• up to half a meter is an intimate distance between close people who are in a trusting relationship;
• from 0.5 to 1.5 m is the interpersonal distance for friendly communication;
• 1.5-3.5 m - social distance, which is comfortable for interaction between unfamiliar people, as well as on business matters;
• 3.7 m is the public distance from which a speech is given to a large audience.

Good to know for everyone

Max Egger has an invaluable contribution to the study of such an issue as non-verbal means of gestures. He developed a system of 75 signals, the main ones of which can be considered the following:

• the movement of the Adam's apple indicates the interlocutor's excitement or that he is telling a lie;
• if hands come into contact with any object, this indicates uncertainty;
• if a person strokes his chin, he is considering the proposal;
• biting your finger, pencil or glasses means that the person is evaluating you;
• stroking the back of the neck means anger or a feeling of threat from you;
• if a person rubs his palms, he expects to receive benefits;
• if the toes of the feet are spread apart, the person feels superior to you.

Conclusion

If you want to know more than what you're told, it's worth learning sign language. Nonverbal communication is difficult to control, and therefore can be considered the most objective. However, you should never forget that certain gestures can be associated with well-being or external influences.