methods for fighting boredom in this article.
Boredom- This is a feeling that only a person can experience. It is unknown to animals - in a state of inaction they feel quite comfortable. And we begin to get bored, for example, when there is nothing to do or if we are tired of everything and we are lonely.
Doctors say: To avoid boredom, the human brain constantly needs fresh impressions, just like the body - nutrition. Once the novelty wears off, we become bored. Of course, no one has ever died from it (although they are threatening to do so), but it is impossible to deny: this feeling is the source of many problems. Endless New Year's weekend is the perfect time for madness or bouts of depression “because it’s boring.” But there are many ways to overcome this destructive state of mind.
To avoid getting bored, fill the pause!
Are YOU an active person? You love it when life is filled with events and impressions, but suddenly, in this exciting bustle, an unexpected stop appears. For example, a flight is delayed and you are forced to wait. Or you have to stand in a long line at the embassy. Minute after minute drags on, nothing happens. It becomes boring just thinking about how much time you have to spend waiting. But there is a way out - to bring purpose or meaning into this dull process. For once you have formed free time, “minutes of idleness.” Maybe this is a chance to try something new or something that you have usually denied yourself?
If you are alone at the moment of a forced stop, read a book or magazine. If you are waiting with your child, play together - these are moments of joy for him. And if you are with your loved one, there is a chance to feel him close, calmly look into his eyes, just be together, without running around and fuss. An active person will definitely find something to keep himself busy.
Boredom cannot be overcome by filling your life to capacity with interesting events!
Arthur Schopenhauer spoke sharply but aptly on this matter: « Clever man alone, he will find excellent entertainment in his thoughts and imagination, while even a continuous change of interlocutors, performances, trips and entertainment will not protect the dullard from the boredom tormenting him.” .
Rest my friend, you're tired!
Boredom can be caused by physical or mental exhaustion. It is because of fatigue that we lose the freshness of our feelings - everything around us becomes insipid and colorless. Physical exhaustion narrows your options and takes away much of what makes life enjoyable. And if you decide that boredom can be overcome with a new dose interesting events, do not rush. This will not improve your condition: fatigue can turn into exhaustion, and boredom will only intensify. The safest thing to do in such a situation is to admit that it is time to rest.
First, get some sleep. “People don’t realize the importance of sleep and the consequences of lack of sleep.”, says Karl Hanu, MD, National research center sleep disorders USA. According to research, even a slight lack of sleep (7-8 hours a week) can cause depression, attacks of weakness and a persistent reluctance to have fun.
Secondly, use light and available methods mental self-regulation: water treatments (sign up for the pool), full-day spa, yoga or qigong. Go out into nature more often, enjoy the silence, or just change your surroundings. And if you don’t want relapses, come up with an unusual holiday, for example, Wizard’s Day and gather your friends
make rest your habit. Then you will definitely have enough strength to lead active image life!
Chat so you don't get bored!
Man, whatever one may say, is a social creature, which means that we are all more comfortable being among people. Few people are able to endure a hermit existence, and most often there must be very serious personal reasons for this. Therefore, if you feel that life is boring due to lack of communication, start making connections.
Please note: during the day you are almost never alone, there are many people around you - passers-by, colleagues, neighbors, casual acquaintances, friends, relatives. The chance of finding a like-minded person is very high.
Make a list of your interests and hobbies. Think about what events related to them you could attend. A photo exhibition, a jazz or rock concert, a film festival - any place where you usually feel comfortable will do. Once you find yourself among people, choose the person you like, as if by chance find yourself next to him and ask his opinion about what is happening. This is easy, unobtrusive communication, which may be interesting to both of you, and does not oblige you or your interlocutor to anything.
If you find common ground, perhaps a friend will appear or a romance will begin. In any case, you will be rewarded with a few minutes of conversation with a like-minded person, and you will certainly not be bored.
Everyone has to do monotonous and monotonous work from time to time. But sometimes life itself begins to resemble a vicious circle, consisting of home and work, with rare breaks to go to the cinema or meet with friends. In a word, a well-functioning, safe, but extremely boring mechanism.
French writer Albert Camus very precisely defined this state: “ Boredom is the result of mechanical life, but it also sets consciousness in motion.”, and the Russian philosopher Nikolay Berdyaev thought: “Boredom can only be overcome by creativity”.
Try to turn a painful feeling into a stimulus that will force you to move forward, to come up with something unusual on the go. There is always room for something new in life, even when you walk the same road to work. For example, you can change the route a little, pay attention to those who make this journey with you every morning, watch how the windows of a nice store with gifts are decorated, and fantasize about “how would I decorate it.” Finding fresh experiences is easier than you think!
Bring more variety to life with the help of creative actions: change your hairstyle, rearrange your apartment, rehang boring wallpaper. At work, change the picture on your computer monitor every day in accordance with your current mood. Come up with an unusual holiday - for example, Wizard's Day or an Orange Cocktail Party, gather your friends, play with them, organize a competition.
Try an activity that is unusual for you. Remember and make some old dream come true: a parachute jump, a trip to an exotic country, the opening of your own friends only exhibition. It is creative hobbies that help overcome dissatisfaction with the monotony of life, develop creativity and self-confidence. Remember: external changes often entail internal ones. And if everything around starts to move, it will be hard for you to get bored!
Re-evaluate to get rid of boredom.
If you regularly have thoughts that you are not doing what you want, you are not doing what you like, and everything around you seems unnecessary (and useless), perhaps you have entered a period of so-called existential boredom. It is directly related to the concepts of the meaning of life and uselessness own efforts. Coping with these feelings on your own is not easy. Many in such a situation need support, and sometimes the help of a psychologist.
First, think: where did this feeling come from? Perhaps you stopped thinking and caring about yourself, forgot that you live not only for the sake of duty, other people, or to remain correct and good. As the popular American rock guitarist Frank Vincent Zappa said: “If you always listened to your mom and dad, school teachers, priests and some guy on TV, and now because of this you lead a boring and unhappy life, then you clearly deserve it.”. A little differently, but essentially the same thing, the German psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel wrote: “Boredom appears when we are not allowed to do what we want to do, or we have to do what we don’t want to do.” If both statements apply to you, conduct an “audit” of your life.
Think about what you usually do, how you spend your time, how often you allow yourself to do what you like, what interests you. Are you sacrificing your life to the expectations of others or to the same sense of duty? Doesn't this rob you of joy? After all, life can become harmonious only if you exist in harmony with yourself. Learn to love and understand yourself, live with your own goals, interests and feelings, abandoning imposed roles and stereotypes. Only then will opportunities for change and growth open up. You can start with a book by a German psychologist Ute Edhad « Good girls go to heaven, and the bad ones go wherever they want, or Why obedience does not bring happiness".
Throw away illusions!
Everyone probably once dreamed that his life would be like an exciting journey, filled with bright achievements, amazing events, interesting work And perfect love. But over time, it turned out that reality does not always correspond to youthful expectations - it is much more boring and ordinary. Even great love after some time it loses color and becomes more prosaic. A person begins to immerse himself in everyday life, boredom, and routine. And it is at this moment that it may appear desire stay much longer wonderful world dreams, to live not in real relationships and affairs, but in dreams and fantasies about them.
On the one hand, illusions in themselves console and make existence easier, and the desire for such a perception of reality is an integral feature of our consciousness, because sometimes we so want to take a break from everyday life! On the other hand, fantasies cannot become a full-fledged content of life: they have the unpleasant property of dissipating when confronted with reality. And you need some courage to accept this fact. This is the courage of a person who is already more mature, conscious and responsible for his thoughts and actions, who can find other ways to interact with boredom than empty dreams. Grow up, accept life as it is, find charm in it: a beautiful sunrise over the bay, a quiet evening alone with your loved one, successful completion work project that I've been working on all year... Collect the fruits of reality, not illusions!)
Loss or separation requires the use of great mental resources, but even after such difficult events there is an opportunity to find peace, rethink what happened and live in harmony with oneself. Pain and sadness are natural manifestations human psyche. But if you do nothing to change your mood, these feelings will take on a more severe form. To stop missing a person, you need to deal with the difficulties that arise in the soul and overcome them.
Temporary separation
Psychologists give some advice to those whose friends are far away:
- 1. Keep count of the days. The visibility of the path overcome will help you concentrate on the desired approach to a pleasant meeting. If you cross out the next date on the wall calendar day after day, not forgetting to mentally congratulate yourself on your victory, the wait will not be burdensome, it will turn into a kind of “journey” from one point in the time period to another.
- 2. Resort to useful small chores. In order not to constantly think about your loved one, you should direct more attention to everyday or additional activities and activities. Improving your environment is the best way to distract yourself. The time has come to wash the windows, change the curtains, plant some greenery on the window sill or room, and update the façade of the house. This way, the days of separation will bring some joy and will not respond with sadness.
- 3. Plan a long-term project. The burden of waiting is easily compensated by doing responsible and long-term work. If it is possible to notify the partner about upcoming plans, this will mobilize all efforts to complete them in anticipation of the general joy of the results.
- 4. Use Internet communications. They will help modern methods communication and exchange of information at a distance: Skype, Email, postcards. Every message sent leaves a person waiting for a response. A separation distributed in this way over segments will fly by easily and unnoticed.
- 5. Do not reject communication with other people.
Attention and time are valuable resources, and often for some people, surrounded by a family or an overly busy person, there is not a free day or hour. Therefore, this period can be used to visit friends and forgotten acquaintances, distant relatives.
Jealousy
Final separation
When finalizing a separation, a number of recommendations should be taken into account:
- 1. Allow time to cope with emotions after separation from dear person. The accumulated negativity must come out before you can begin to live a normal life.
- 2. Experience the longing for the stages. To overcome grief more easily, you should navigate its typical stages: denial, shock, rumination, depression, anger, resignation - each of which will take a longer or shorter period of time. There is no need to rush: healing mental wounds is an important process, after which something new will begin.
- 3. Get rid of painful memories. When difficult emotions have been experienced, care should be taken to ensure that nothing from the past reminds of former relationship. Some personal items that remind you of a person who is no longer alive, or of those who have long been estranged from a warm friendship in the past, are best removed from sight, given to loved ones for safekeeping, and some are thrown away. Friends can provide invaluable support.
- 4. Avoid contact with your ex-partner. If you are confident that the relationship will end, you should not allow ambiguous behavior or messages with the question “how are you? " When meeting at a place of work or study, an exchange of greetings is sufficient. It’s better to delete existing pages on social networks, otherwise it will only get worse.
- 5. Let go of your loved one. It’s not for nothing that there are rituals and farewell ceremonies: from a psychological point of view, this allows you to develop the right attitude towards a person who has passed away or left forever, to preserve the memory of best years with gratitude to him for everything beautiful, realizing that the past cannot be returned. A good solution is to allow yourself to write a letter to the person you contacted. strong feelings, expressing pain, anger, love, informing him about the end of the current state, about farewell and the transition to a new phase of life. But do not send the written letter.
- 6. Start new relationships. The opportunity to meet will appear after all the stages of separation have been completed. Shortening this interval will do harm: the character traits of a new friend may remind you of ex-lover. You should spend time with friends, family circle, which will help you restore strength and once again feel your own value and significance. You can seek help from a psychotherapist.
- 7. Change your habits. If everything has found its shape and “taste” with your ex-partner, then it is worth purposefully changing the established traditions. There is no need to visit favorite places in the past, ways of entertainment, or meet with mutual acquaintances.
- 8. Fill the void. The resulting freedom should be used for self-development, working on one’s qualities, if there was not enough time for this before, new things to do, a career, unusual hobby(yoga, photography, playing musical instrument, language learning).
Each person accumulates and expresses the emotions inherent in his psyche in a way acceptable to him. Someone cries, and someone leaves entries in a personal diary - putting thoughts on paper helps to realize what is happening in the soul and speed up psychological healing. In case of strong feelings, you should distance yourself from the public, content with your circle of closest friends and relatives. When there are a large number of people, the feeling of fatigue becomes stronger and communication becomes unnatural.
What will help change emotions?
First, you should analyze the cause of your emotions, think about what unfulfilled expectations or unfulfilled promises caused them, and at the next stage understand that no one owes anyone anything.
A detailed examination will help identify the main points of resentment and acute emotions. It is possible that their importance is greatly overestimated, and it is enough to rethink this. When thinking about melancholy, it is important to understand that this is a consequence of habits, and all of them can be changed. Perhaps the feeling of boredom is just a habit of living in a certain way, and the person who left actually had nothing to do with it. Taking stock of positive events throughout your life and realizing your abilities will help you focus on a new goal and believe in success. Every person has a meaning in life that is higher than strong but passing melancholy.
The tips listed above will help you get rid of the surging melancholy, realize that certain events play the role of a springboard in life, are useful for the manifestation internal qualities and contribute to new achievements.
QUESTION FOR PSYCHOLOGISTS
Asked by: Alexandra (2014-02-27 13:27:43)
Hello, I am 21 years old and have been married for a year. My husband often travels to other countries for a long time for work; before this was not a problem for us, but now Lately I started going crazy when he wasn't around. He was on a business trip for 20 days, during these 20 days I fell into a terrible depression. I almost didn’t leave the house, didn’t work, suddenly became aggressive, constantly cried, I tried to occupy myself with something, but work was not a joy, I didn’t want to communicate with friends, at first I also went for a walk in the evenings and just walked around the city for a couple of hours , but then I became lazy too... needless to say, I gained a lot of weight and practically didn’t take care of my appearance.
As soon as he returned, everything was fine. I'm happy, I'm working again, I'm smiling.
It’s also impossible, my husband will leave again and I’ll be depressed again!
How to deal with this? I understand that I need to be distracted somehow, but I don’t know how.
THANK YOU!
ANSWERS FROM PSYCHOLOGISTS
Hello, Alexandra! this is not a question of distraction, but of working out your personal boundaries; this state of yours indicates the presence of emotional dependence. You have made your spouse the center of your world - when he is nearby, you live, when he is not there, life stops! BUT - he is NOT the CENTER of YOUR world. It is important for you to find yourself, close your borders, so that your spouse sees in you not a continuation of himself, not a shadow of himself, but YOU - who are you? what are you like? what are your interests? goals? Who do you communicate with? Friends? See a psychologist and work on your boundaries. You can also use Skype - if you decide, please contact me - I will be glad to help you!
Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow
Hello Alexandra!
If you decide to do everything so that your husband leaves for another woman, then the behavior you have chosen is the best. True, it resembles a phrase from the book of Korney Chukovsky: from two to five, when a little boy says: Well, grandma, to spite you, I’ll frostbite my ears. It looks like you are jealous of him and it’s scary to admit it to yourself.
I’ll tell you as a man, when a wife has her hair done, with makeup, takes care of herself externally (her figure, clothes) and internally (informed about what is happening in the world), then her husband’s gaze will never wander away. A man is an owner by nature and is supported from within by the feeling: my woman is the most beautiful and smartest among all. As if it was his merit for the beauty of his wife.
Sorokin Yuri Stepaovich, psychologist, Moscow
Alexandra,
and if you try to start thinking and moving in the opposite direction. Don’t try to get distracted, stop thinking about your husband. But, on the contrary, think about feeling your connection with him even at a distance. This can strengthen your relationship and fill it with new colors.
After all, relationships don’t disappear when people move away. But relationships begin to fade when people lose touch with each other.
When you wake up in the morning, first thing, try to feel connected with your husband, wherever he is and send him your love, smile. Ask him to talk about where he lives when he goes away. And imagine these places.
Tell each other on Skype or in letters how you spend your days.
Exchange your feelings, everything possible. Fill your daily life with joyful anticipation of his arrival.
And prepare a wonderful meeting for each of his visits.
Consider filling your married life with the romance of getting together and breaking up. To be always desirable and new to your husband.
No, of course, you can, if you want, continue to sit and sour. :))).
All the best,
Sincerely
Alyokhina Elena Vasilievna, psychologist Moscow
