Vaudeville Sologub trouble from a tender heart to read. Trouble from a tender heart! "Mad Lover" got engaged to his bride on stage

V. SOLLOGUB “TROUBLE FROM A TENDER HEART” OR “WHO THE DEVIL GUESSED TO STAY IN THIS HOUSE”
Vladimir Sollogub’s brilliant vaudeville has been on the stage for more than 150 years and is interesting to both inexperienced and adult viewers. Count Vladimir Aleksandrovich Sollogub (1814-1882) is a famous Russian writer, author of “secular” stories, essays, memoirs about Pushkin, Lermontov, Gogol and VAUDEVILLES. This genre was the most beloved in Russia in the first half of the 19th century, and “Trouble from a Tender Heart” is the most famous, first staged in 1850. The author is a brilliant expert on the laws of this genre. In the finale, virtue and justice always win.

VLADIMIR SOLLOGUB “TROUBLE FROM A TENDER HEART”. VAUDEVILLE.

Characters:

Daria Semyonovna Boyarkina.

Masha, her daughter.

Nastasya Pavlovna, her niece.

Agrafena Grigorievna Kubyrkina.

Katerina Ivanovna, her daughter.

Vasily Petrovich Zolotnikov, farmer.

Alexander Vasilich, his son.

PHENOMENON 1

DARIA SEMENOVNA Oh, my God! Still no pink dress. Well
is this what it is? The dress was ordered for this evening, but you will receive it tomorrow morning."
Everything is so here, everything is so. Such a shame: I would just beat someone! Nastya!
Nastya! Nastenka!
NASTYA I'm here, auntie.
DARIA SEMENOVNA. Well, thank God! Where have you been, mother? It's all in my head
nonsense, but there’s no point in thinking about auntie; did you send to marchande
de modes?
NASTYA Sent it, auntie.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Well, what about Mashenka’s dress?
NASTYA Ready, aunty"
DARIA SEMENOVNA So why don't they carry it?
NASTYA Yes, auntie"
DARIA SEMENOVNA So why are you grumbling?
NASTYA(quietly) Without money, auntie, they don’t give it away; they say there's already too much
must.
DARIA SEMENOVNA What, do you want to be rude to me, mother? Here
gratitude: I took an orphan into my home, I feed and clothe her, and she
He still says sarcastic things to me. No, honey, I won’t let you forget. What?
They brought crackers, huh?.. They're spinning the ice cream." Eh?.. You won't think about anything. Well,
are you standing rooted to the spot? You see, Mashenka hasn’t combed her hair yet; give it to me
hairpins.
MASHA Here I should put rings on my forehead “like this” Mama, how do you like it?
whatever I want, if they don’t bring me a dress, I won’t go out for anything; I'll stay in mine
room, I'll say I'm sick. As you please.
DARIA SEMENOVNA What you? What you? Lost her mind! I'm making an evening for you, and
you won't be there; will you order me to dance instead of you? We will have the most
first wives" that is, gentlemen.
MASHA Yes! That's exactly how they'll go.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Why, mother, won’t they go?
MASHA What did they forget here? After all, there is now a better ball than yours;
I told you to put it off, but you want everything your own way.
DARIA SEMENOVNA It's time for you to get married, Mashenka, otherwise these evenings
My strength is not enough. Look, Prince Kurdyukov will be there today, try to help him
I'll like it.
NASTYA Oh, auntie, he's an old man!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Nobody is asking you. Well, old man, he has money
him young.

A servant enters with a letter

Who is this from? “well” (with annoyance) Excellent, incomparable” Prince Kurdyukov
sorry, it can't be.
MASHA Well, what did I say!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What, Mashenka, should I send for a pink dress? After all
there will be no prince.
MASHA of course, send "What do you think? That I am because of your
I'm going to walk around the old man without a dress, or what?
DARIA SEMENOVNA Oh, Mashenka, at least you would be ashamed of people.
MASHA Yes, he is French, he doesn’t understand.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Well, I'll go get the money and send for the dress.
MASHA It's high time... well, well, go ahead.
DARIA SEMENOVNA So she raised herself a bride - ruin and nothing more!
(Leaves.)

PHENOMENON 2.

MASHA(to the hairdresser) It’s still “like that” here! Nastya "Nastya" what are you talking about
do you think?
NASTYA So, about nothing, something sad"
MASHA What nonsense! Look, has this hairstyle stuck with me?
NASTYA Stuck.
MASHA Very pestering?
NASTYA Very.
MASHA Right" Well, what are you going to wear?
NASTYA Yes, I’ll stay like this, why should I dress up?” no one will notice me.
MASHA You should at least put a ribbon in your hair" I have a lot of old ones in my closet
ribbons
NASTYA No, why?
MASHA As you want.
ZOLOTNIKOV(behind the scenes) Is Daria Semyonovna at home?
MASHA Oh, what a shame, man! (the hairdresser runs after her).

Phenomenon 3.

ZOLOTNIKOV Sorry" I scared someone here. (to the side) Oh, this one
daughter. (aloud) But the hostess is not at home, apparently?
NASTYA No, sir, at home; I'll go tell her.
ZOLOTNIKOV Neither, nor, don't worry; It’s you that I need.
NASTYA Me?
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes; let me take a good look at just you.
Turn around a little, like this “incomparable” I couldn’t wish for anything better than you.
NASTYA Yes, I don’t know you at all.
ZOLOTNIKOV You'll meet me soon. What year are you?
NASTYA Eighteen
ZOLOTNIKOV Great. Tell me, do you have any suitors?
NASTYA No with.
ZOLOTNIKOV Why aren't they looking, fools! Are you thinking about marriage?
NASTYA Sorry, I don't have time.
ZOLOTNIKOV No, you're not angry. I am Zolotnikov, farmer. Have you heard
May be? A man who has become rich, my speech is a little harsh. A,
however, I take an active part in you; Believe it or not, for you on purpose
I came from Kazan to make you an offer.
NASTYA You?
ZOLOTNIKOV Don't think I'm talking about myself. First of all, I
fifty years; secondly, my face is far from attractive; thirdly, at
My wife is in Tambov. No, sir, I want to marry my son, and precisely, if
to tell the whole truth, I would really like to marry him to you. Of course
if you fall in love with each other. You don't love anyone, do you? Tell me the truth"
NASTYA Nobody, sir.
ZOLOTNIKOV Well, you don’t like it. I'll introduce my son to you. He is a kind little guy.
The heart is only tender. Just give me your word that you will not be away from me
offers.
NASTYA Listen, words are no joke: once you give your word, you have to keep it, and I
I don’t know your son.
ZOLOTNIKOV So what? He's waiting here in the living room.

PHENOMENON 4.

ZOLOTNIKOV Eh, yes, no way, here comes the hostess! Ege-he-he, how she has changed!
Thalia was just a glass, but now, thank you God" Daria Semyonovna,
do you recognize me?
DARIA SEMENOVNA(looking) Guilty, sir.
ZOLOTNIKOV Remember well.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Let me" No, I can't.
ZOLOTNIKOV Thank you, Daria Semenovna. Let me ask you, do you play?
Are you still playing piano?
DARIA SEMENOVNA And, father, where should I go?
ZOLOTNIKOV Do you remember, in 1919 in Kazan?
DARIA SEMENOVNA My God, Vasily Petrovich!
ZOLOTNIKOV I am a great sinner. This is the time. Became a different person.
(points to the vest) There was nothing here - it appeared. (points to head)
There was a lot here - almost nothing remains. Daria Semyonovna didn’t recognize it!
DARIA SEMENOVNA God brought us to meet. Am I so old to you, father?
I seem like you to me? Yes, I heard you got terribly rich.
ZOLOTNIKOV Out of grief, Daria Semyonovna. How you refused me, remember I
He entered into business, into trading, to his misfortune, became rich, and out of despair, he got married.
DARIA SEMENOVNA From consistency, right; and here with what destinies?
ZOLOTNIKOV There are some things to do, but I brought my son.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you have many children?
ZOLOTNIKOV One son in total.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Married?
ZOLOTNIKOV No, still single.
DARIA SEMENOVNA I ask you to humbly sit down. Nastenka, look, they are lit
Are there candles in the living room? Sit down please; What the hell were we talking about?
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes about my son; I want to marry him.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Oh, be careful, Vasily Petrovich! In Petersburg
the girls are all good looking; and when they get married, it’s immediately obvious that upbringing
not that, not at all. I have a daughter, so I can brag about it.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I spoke to her just now.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And no! You spoke to my niece, the orphan,
which I hold out of mercy. I am a mother, Vasily Petrovich... but I will tell you that
my daughter was brought up this way, prepared this way"
MASHA(behind the scenes) Mommy!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What, my dear?
MASHA The dress was brought.
DARIA SEMENOVN And now, my friend; and such an innocent child will be put to shame.
ZOLOTNIKOV This is what I need. My good little Sasha, only in
there is still wind in his head; They told him that he had two million."
DARIA SEMENOVNA Two million?..
ZOLOTNIKOV Two million. Believe me, his heart is so tender,
As soon as he sees the skirt, he will melt; every day I am in love; what will you become
do! Well, it would be okay for a prank, but in the summer, in Tambov, I decided to get married
on some kind of intrigue. Fortunately, the hussar turned up, otherwise I would have been with him forever
cried. I see things are bad: take my son with me to St. Petersburg, and to you, Daria
Semyonovna, from old memory I know that do not refuse good advice; and you,
I heard, daughter. Who knows? Maybe our children will meet and fall in love."
If it’s not us, it’s our children, Daria Semyonovna, isn’t it?
DARIA SEMENOVNA What an old thing to remember!
ZOLOTNIKOV will not return, truly. Well, let's admire the children"
Let me kiss your hand.
DARIA SEMENOVNA With pleasure.
ZOLOTNIKO B And the hand has aged; do you sniff tobacco?
DARIA SEMENOVNA For the eyes, Vasily Petrovich.
MASHA Mama, come here; How obnoxious you are!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Now, now, my angel “Now I’ll bring her to you” No
be too strict.

PHENOMENON 5.

ZOLOTNIKOV Lord, what a change! She didn’t recognize me,” here’s a lesson for you,
Vasily Petrovich "For thirty years I remembered her with pleasure" imagined
her former beauty. And that’s what drove me to come here!
Ah, right is worse than a slap,
Like having not seen each other for thirty years,
You will find an old woman in the ruins
Love is an enthusiastic subject.
Oh! Dasha! In previous years
This is not how we met you;
(With a sigh) Then you smelled the flowers,
Now - you sniff tobacco!

PHENOMENON 6.

ALEXANDER(throws himself on his father’s neck) Father, hug me. I agree"
be it your way, “I’m not marrying her,” I like her, I really like her. I
satisfied, I'm glad, I'm happy, prosperous" Father, hug me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Oh wait!
ALEXANDER No, hold me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, listen!
ALEXANDER No, hug me: like this" again. It's over, it's decided, I
I will fulfill your will: I will marry her, and it is her, not anyone else, but
her! That’s what I came up with, here’s my father, “Hug me again.”
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, listen!
ALEXANDER Eyes, waist, hair “what character” You can see now. Father,
bless!
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, get off me, please." We were mistaken, it's not her.
ALEXANDER Why not her? She, she, she! I don’t want her to be not her!
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I was mistaken myself: do you think that I spoke there in the living room with
daughter"
ALEXANDER Well, yes.
ZOLOTNIKOV That's the thing, she's not a daughter.
ALEXANDER Why not a daughter? Wasn't she born without a father and without a mother?..
Is she someone’s daughter?.. She was some kind of mother, and so was her father.
ZOLOTNIKOV She's a niece.
ALEXANDER Doesn't matter.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, they tell you that she is a niece.
ALEXANDER R Yes, even if she were an uncle, I’ll still marry her! Yours
there was the will" the father's will is the law.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I predicted another one for you.
ALEXANDER No, my father’s will is the law!.. I don’t want another.
ZOLOTNIKOV Don't make any noise, they're coming here.
ALEXANDER So don’t let them go,” tell them not to come.
ZOLOTNIKOV Just look.
ALEXANDER And I don’t want to look.

PHENOMENON 7.

DARIA SEMENOVN And here is my Mashenka, Vasily Petrovich; please love
Yes, I'm sorry. (in ear) Stay straight! (loudly) She's shy to me. (on
ear) Yes, sit down well. (out loud) Excuse her, Vasily Petrovich:
She’s not a secular girl, she’s all about needlework and books.
MASHA (in her mother's ear) Stop it, mommy!
DARIA SEMENOVNA No, I tell her: “What are you doing, Mashenka, at your age?
you’re spoiling it,” in your summer you should look for pleasure, have fun,” and she told me
says: “No, mamma, I don’t want your secular pleasures, what’s in them”
A woman’s job is not to dance and not to flirt, but to be a kind wife, gentle
mother."
MASHA Mama, I'll leave"
DARIA SEMENOVNA Would you believe it, I left the whole household in her hands -
let him get used to it, and in his free time he plays music, draws, whatever
you have this head that you came without a teacher, you know, this
Apollo of Velbeder?
MASHA(out loud) Torn it up. (in ear) Mommy, I'm tired of you!
ZOLOTNIKOV And here, madam, is my son. (to his son) Bow down!
ALEXANDER Don't want.
DARIA SEMENOVNA It's very nice to meet you: this is your first time visiting
to us in St. Petersburg?
ALEXANDER Yes!
DARIA SEMENOVNA How long are you planning to stay here?
ALEXANDER No.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Why is this so?
ALEXANDER R So.
MASHA AH, mamma, your questions are not very modest: maybe they
unpleasant.
DARIA SEMENOVNA But where can I be able to talk to young people? That's your business
keep young people busy. Let's go, Vasily Petrovich; no matter how many years
See you, have something to talk about" (in the ear) Let them get acquainted; without us
it will be more free.
ZOLOTNIKOV Certainly.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And you, darling, manage here without me; it's time
get used to it: today you’re a girl, and tomorrow you might live in a house yourself.
Everything is in the will of the Lord.
(kisses her on the forehead and speaks in her ear) Don't forget! Two million! (Aloud)
Let's go, Vasily Petrovich.

phenomenon 8

.
MASHA(to the side) He seems to be completely uncouth. Oh, what a pity!
ALEXANDER(to the side) Well, how can you compare her with that one! That one has eyes
waist, hair" However, this one is decent, so-so.
MASHA Would you like to sit down?
ALEXANDER No, sir, why!

Silence

MASHA How do you like our St. Petersburg?
ALEXANDER(absent-mindedly) What-o-s?
MASHA Do you like St. Petersburg?
ALEXANDER Petersburg, or what? Famous city, sir!
MASHA When did you arrive?
ALEXANDER On the very day of magnetic illumination, we deigned, of course,
hear?
MASHA Yes, I heard it, but I didn’t see it."

Silence

Have you already been to Passage?
ALEXANDER Why, I ate hearth pies downstairs.
MASHA You like?
ALEXANDER Pies or what?
MASHA No" Passage.
ALEXANDER nice walk.
MASHA Why don't you sit down?
ALEXANDER Do not worry! (to the side) Eyes, what eyes! Where is
I had eyes that I didn’t notice her eyes!
MASHA We have a wonderful opera this year.
ALEXANDER R They say, sir.
MASHA Are you perhaps a musician yourself?
ALEXANDER Why, sir! I play a little.
MASHA On the pianos?
ALEXANDER R Mainly on the horn.
MASHA A!
ALEXANDER And you, sir? (getting pampered)
MASHA I sing a little.
ALEXANDER Really? It is so pleasant! (aside) I don't know why she
I didn't like it the first time. She is very, very nice" And what a manner
beautiful. (To her) I really don’t know if I dare ask you.
MASHA How, sir?
ALEXANDER I say "I don't know if I dare to ask you..
MASHA What?
ALEXANDER R I don’t know if I dare to ask the first time." Encourage,
Please.
MASHA(flirty) Why? What do you want?
ALEXANDER Dare I ask "for example" (to the side) Yes, this is lovely, but
not a girl" (to her) Make me happy, please let me listen.
MASHA Yes, we are waiting for guests.
ALEXANDER You'll have time.
MASHA I really don't have a voice.
ALEXANDER Give it a try.
MASHA(flirtatious) Unless only for you" (walking to the piano)
ALEXANDER R (aside) For you, for me "She said for you" I told her
I liked the "Yes, this is not a girl" charm!
MASHA Just accompany me, please; I have a new romance here.
ALEXANDER With pleasure (sits down at the piano)
MASHA
Tell me what's in the shadow of the branches,
When nature rests
The spring nightingale sings
And what does he express in song?
Why is everyone secretly worried about blood?
Tell me, tell me what the word is
Familiar to everyone and forever new?
Love!
Tell me what you're talking about in private
In thought, is the girl telling fortunes?
What secret trembling in a dream
Does he promise her fear and joy?
Call that illness strange
In which there is eternal joy.
What should she expect? What does she want?
Love!
When from life's melancholy
You, tired, languish
And, despite the evil sadness,
At least you call upon the ghost of happiness"
What delights your breast?
Aren't those unearthly sounds
When did you first hear -
I love?!

ALEXANDER(jumps up from his chair and runs to Masha) Oh, what a voice! What
for your vote! What feeling! What a soul! You've driven me crazy; I'm delighted
Now I’ll go crazy if you don’t allow me to hope.
MASHA How to hope?
ALEXANDER Don't you know anything?
MASHA No.
ALEXANDER you don't know that your old woman was in love once before
at my old man?
MASHA How, and mommy too? I wouldn't have thought that. Yes she is not for me
talked about it.
ALEXANDER Yes, they never talk about it. Here, father, I made it up,
so that I would be on you" or you would be for me. It doesn't matter" but it depends on you.
Well, in love, in love, completely in love. Well, if you don't agree, I
I will be the most unfortunate mortal.
MASHA So say it.
ALEXANDER Father wishes my happiness; he only thinks about me
happiness; Yes, and I wish myself happiness - who doesn’t wish themselves happiness! Only you,
maybe you don’t want my happiness?
MASHA Have mercy" why?
ALEXANDER How? Do you want my happiness?.. Really?
MASHA Of course.
ALEXANDER So can I hope?
MASHA I depend on my mother.
ALEXANDER It's not about mummy, it's about mummy; you tell me about yourself
tell me "can you like me?
MASHA(simply) Why not?
ALEXANDER Marya" as per your father?
MASHA Petrovna.
ALEXANDER Mashenka! I am the happiest man in the world, I will become you
love, love, love like no one has ever loved before, and never will!
MASHA Just wait.
ALEXANDER Why wait, why wait? This is hypocrisy; I do not want to wait; I
I love you, we love each other, we will be happy; we will have children;
make of me what you will; order, dispose, only allow
prove my love to you.
MASHA You are truly a strange person. However, listen, today we have
dance night.
ALEXANDER Do you want to dance with me? Don’t exact it as best I can.
MASHA All the same, but, you see, I don’t have a bouquet.
ALEXANDER So what? What do you need a bouquet for?
MASHA It's in fashion: holding a bouquet in your hands." Don't you understand?
ALEXANDER No.
MASHA Well, I’ll tell you: go get a bouquet, only from fresh flowers.
ALEXANDER But where will I go?
MASHA Where you want: that's your business. And I need to receive guests" Before
goodbye (extends hand)
ALEXANDER(kissing the hand) What a hand!
What kind of pens are, simply wonderful!
I would be ready to kiss forever.
MASHA
Well, go ahead, bye
Bring me flowers.
ALEXANDER
What kind of weirdness is this?
What good is a bouquet to you?
What do you need other people's flowers?
You are the best flower yourself!

PHENOMENON 9.

ZOLOTNIKOV Where are you going, crazy?
ALEXANDER Father, I congratulate you on the bouquet!.. Hug me! I will fulfill
your command "Your desire is law for me! Yes! I will marry her" I
happy.. I have been completely reborn" From fresh flowers.
ZOLOTNIKOV So what happened?
ALEXANDER What happened? I am in love at your command. Will
paternal - the law! Yes! You want me to get married whenever you want, even today."
Parent, bless.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, explain first.
ALEXANDER No, hug, hug like a parent... That's it! It's over! I
I'll marry her!
ZOLOTNIKOV But who is she wearing?
ALEXANDER On it!
ZOLOTNIKOV On your niece?
ALEXANDER On my daughter.
ZOLOTNIKOV On Nastenka?
ALEXANDER On Mashenka, on my Mashenka, on Marya Petrovna. For all
she is Marya Petrovna, and for me Mashenka!
ZOLOTNIKOV But how did you tell me that you were in love with someone else, with your first one?
ALEXANDER First?.. no! It seemed so to me; however, she too
very, very, very nice girl. Only this you yourself, my father, to me
appointed, and besides, she sings, “she sings like that! Father, did you hear Grisi?
ZOLOTNIKOV No, I haven't heard.
ALEXANDER And I haven’t heard, so that’s how he sings. Well, let's go!
ZOLOTNIKOV How are we going?
ALEXANDER Yes, let's go for bouquets, for sweets... She wants this, she
ordered; Well, take your hat - let's go!
ZOLOTNIKO
In Yes, go alone.
ALEXANDER No, I won’t go alone: ​​I won’t find anything; Let's go back now.
ZOLOTNIKOV At least explain it.
ALEXANDER Dear, I'll explain everything. Don't forget that fate depends on it
of my life. Well, let's go.

PHENOMENON 10.

KUBYRKINA This is your blotter, mother, of course.
KATE Boudoir, mommy
KUBYRKINA Well, anyway, General Akhlebova has exactly the same one;
Tell me how everyone lives in St. Petersburg!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Haven't you been here for a long time?
KUBYRKINA Fifteen years; It's a joke! I just have to admit,
yours is expensive.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, not cheap.
KUBYRKIN And for mercy's sake, why don't you take it, beef sirloin 34 kopecks!
Is it unheard of! Trustee, I rented an apartment like the one we have in Tambov
the solicitor would not want to live “Whatever you do, you’re such a fool”
KATE Cherte, mamma.
KUBYRKINA Doesn't matter.
MASHA(To Katya) Was your dress made at home or in a store?
KATE Of course, in the store.
MASHA(aside) Lied; Now it’s clear that she’s at home. (To her) Where’s the cape?
did you take it?
KATE In Passage.
MASHA Very nice.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you, Agrafena Grigorievna, play cards?
KUBYRKINA Passionate hunter, mother, not out of interest, but just like that,
on a small one.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you travel a lot now? The balls have begun"
KUBYRKINA Unfortunately, my Katenka fell ill; it’s good that it’s nature
strong, she recovered quickly, otherwise the doctor was afraid that a relapse would occur.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Relapse, mother.
KUBYRKINA And, mother, relapse, recitation - it’s all the same. Where is yours
room, Marya Petrovna?
MASHA Here, on this side.
KUBYRKINA Ah, let me be curious.
MASHA Please.
KUBYRKINA Let's go, Katenka.
KATE I’ll come now, mummy; I’ll just fix the curls.

PHENOMENON 11.

KATE(alone in front of the mirror) How mannered this Mashenka is! What is it made of?
does your nose lift? This is the importance of what lives in St. Petersburg. Am I worse than her? Well,
what?.. just nothing, just no worse.
I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in St. Petersburg
Katya from Tambov!
Against other young ladies
I'm no worse!
I am no less than them,
Narrower at the waist
Thick hair in a braid,
And besides, since childhood I
I learned all the secrets
Female coquetry;
I know, I love pranks,
How to lie with your heart,
How probably yourself
Make you love
And my eyes and gaze
Always playing tricks:
They will give you a smile,
They will enrage you with ridicule.
I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in St. Petersburg
Katya from Tambov!

SCENE 12.

ALEXANDER Here's the bouquet" I got it with great effort.. Here's another (drops everything) Oh my God R
my! Who do I see? Katerina Ivanovna!
KATE Alexander Vasilievich! Oh! (faints on a chair)
ALEXANDER She feels bad" she feels bad! I scared" This is for me" Help!
Help!
KATE Don't shout!
ALEXANDER woke up "woke up" Katerina Ivanovna!

Katya faints again

Phew, another seizure; she'll suffocate in the corset... Are there any scissors?
cut the cord" Oh, by the way.. (takes it hastily from the dressing table
scissors)
KATE(jumping up) Don't come near! Do not touch! What do you need? Why do you
Here? It's not enough for you that you deceived me, that after all your promises,
assurances that you abandoned me, an orphan? Go, don't show yourself to me!
ALEXANDER Here you go! How am I still to blame?
KATE He asks “is he to blame?” Yes, you are a monster, not a man! You
Don Juan is shameless!
ALEXANDER What is Don Juan?
KATE None of your business! Answer, explain your action. I really don’t
I know how I’m still talking to you. Well, please tell me "Do you live in our
village"You pretend to be in love, look for my hand, and when I, like
an inexperienced, defenseless girl began to feel inclined towards you"
ALEXANDER Please don't look at me like that"
KATE When I agreed to your proposal, I entrust my fate to you,
you suddenly leave without saying a word, without saying goodbye, without even getting drunk
I drink tea “just like a thief” (crying) Oh, I’m unhappy! What did I do?
ALEXANDER No, please, no, please, look at me
KATE If you please"
ALEXANDER(to the side) Wow, the abyss "Pretty again" (Her) What,
I mean, I wanted to ask? Yes, let me ask you what you wanted from me
do?
KATE Like what, “I thought that you would be my husband. Is that good? Well
Tell me after this, who are you like?
ALEXANDER“I look like my mother,” but that’s not the point. What kind of husband did you want?
make me?
KATE What kind of husband? Ordinary.
ALEXANDER What kind of ordinary one?

I would really like to know
Which husbands exactly?
A week after the wedding,
Would I, sinner, be with you?
Everything is split between wives and husbands,
How will the Lord bless them?
But what about the husband, tell me yourself,
Will the hussar share with you?
KATE What hussar?
ALEXANDER What? Don't know which hussar? But that hussar repairman,
who was visiting your village!
KATE Yes, he is my brother.
ALEXANDER Which brother?
KATE Second cousin.
ALEXANDER I know these brothers! Thank you for this kind of brotherhood; servant
obedient!
KATE You forget"
ALEXANDER No, on the contrary, I really remember" Don't pretend - I'm still
I know.
KATE What do you know?
ALEXANDER I know that he wrote letters to you.
KATE Not true!
ALEXANDER that's great! I read it myself, and what kind of letters are these? "Angel
my, Katenka! “My angel,” where do they learn, hussars, to write such letters?
KATE So you were angry about this?
ALEXANDER Not enough, or what? What else would you like?
Katya laughs.
Well, why are you laughing?
KATE For mercy's sake, you are so funny!
ALEXANDER Who am I funny? No, I'm not funny, I'm offended" Maybe you
Explain why you received hussar letters?
KATE Nothing could be easier.
ALEXANDER Well, try and explain!
KATYA I don't want to.
ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, please explain.
KATE You're not worth it.
ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna! I beg you, explain" don't be cruel.
KATE Well, then listen; Do you remember Katenka Rybnikova?
ALEXANDER What was your guest? For mercy's sake, she is Avdotya.
KATE This is the older sister, and that one is the other; these letters to her, I only
betrayed. He even wanted to marry her.
ALEXANDER How, really? Ah, Katerina Ivanovna! I'm a fool, a villain,
wicked, slanderer! Torment me, beat me! Guilty without guilt! And for what
Did these hussars get into my head? Forgive me, Katerina Ivanovna!
KATE No, it's too late now.
ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, are you innocent?
KATE Well, of course! However, as you wish.
ALEXANDER R (throwing himself on his knees) Katerina Ivanovna, be generous,
don't make me die of grief.
KATE(crying) No! I'm a poor girl, I love the hussars" Every one of me
may offend" I am destined to be forever unhappy - to love forever yes
suffer alone.
ALEXANDER(on his knees) Katerina Ivanovna, forgive me.
KATE You won't be jealous anymore?
ALEXANDER R Never, Katerina Ivanovna "only"

SCENE 13.

ZOLOTNIKOV(at the door) Bah! What news!

Katya runs away

ALEXANDER Father, it’s her, Katerina Ivanovna, Katya Tambovskaya! I
the monster of the human race, the hussar, wrote letters to Rybnikova, wanted to get married
on Rybnikova, and she, my Katenka, loved and suffered for me"
ZOLOTNIKO Yes, at least speak Russian.
ALEXANDER She suffered, father, but she loved for me.
ZOLOTNIKOV You, brother, are out of your mind!
ALEXANDER Father, hug me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Get off, you idiot; crushed everything!
ALEXANDER No, I must, I want, I decided to make amends
crime" I am obliged to Katenka; I cannot do otherwise: I will marry
Katya, on my Katya.
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, marry whoever you want; I'm finally tired of you. I'm giving you
give me a quarter of an hour to come to my senses, and then I’ll order you to have him examined at the provincial
board and put him in a madhouse. There will be no patience! Do you hear
I wish there was an answer in a quarter of an hour!
ALEXANDER R Father! Just hug me.
ZOLOTNIKOV Get away from me, you ass!

SCENE 14.

ALEXANDER(alone, walking around the room) No! Here's the situation" here's the situation. I
I’ll marry Katerina Ivanovna, that’s decided; this is my sacred duty.. But
I asked for Marya Petrovna’s hand; I excited her imagination" And what a girl
Marya Petrovna! Charm, ideal, death of reason. , I really wanted it
would like to get married! Yes, here’s Nastenka, my niece, and it wouldn’t look bad on her
marry" That's the situation! They won't allow you to marry three, but one is not enough! Here
it is a tender heart! This is what it leads to! And then the priest came with a knife;
It was easy for him, he married his mother, but what about me? Just killed
killed! Katenka, Nastenka, Mashenka; Nastenka, Mashenka, Katenka" What do I need?
do? I'm dying in my prime! (falls into a chair with a large back, so
it is not visible.)

PHENOMENON 15.

DARIA SEMENOVNA I can’t get enough of your Katenka, Agrafena
Grigorievna: a beauty in the full sense!
KUBYRKINA Much mercy, Daria Semyonovna. Why don't you look at strangers! On
your Mashenka, I’m having tea, you won’t have time to stop looking at her. Just now we talked about her with
General Akhlebova. That's a girl, you could say she's a girl!
DARIA SEMENOVNA She kept everything to herself, but you raised yours at home?
KUBYRKINA At home, Daria Semyonovna.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Please tell me exactly what techniques are in big
She lived in the light of time... and what modesty, how she behaves!
KUBYRKINA I'm already pleased that Daria Semyonovna is with you
Mashenka got closer. Believe it or not, it’s been a month since we arrived, and I’m already
I think that Katenka has won a lot. Who should we learn from if not yours?
Mashenki? Here is an exemplary girl and what a beauty!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Belle femme, you want to say.
KUBYRKINA Yes, mother, it doesn’t matter" Well, there’s nothing to say, it’s a sight for sore eyes
your Masha.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you think your Katya isn’t fun to look at?
KUBYRKINA What manners!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What a bon ton!
KUBYRKINA What a pleasure!
DARIA SEMENOVNA What kindness in conversation!
KUBYRKINA One cannot help but congratulate
DARIA SEMENOVNA From the outside you will be happy.
KUBYRKINA I'm surprised she's not married yet! Grooms, I think, and
can't be counted!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, there are - fourteen generals have been wooed.
KUBYRKINA(to the side) He's lying" he's just lying!
DARIA SEMENOVNA There were colonels and captains, the prince was alone. Just me
Mashenka is not in bondage, let her choose. After all, she will have to live together, and not
to me. However, as a good friend, I can tell you a secret: today I
She talked to Mashenka.
KUBYRKINA Really? It was a happy day, and I told Katenka
Today.
DARIA SEMENOVNA My daughter is marrying a rich man; yeah that's not the point -
a good person. Have you perhaps heard about Alexander Zolotnikov?
KUBYRKINA What? What a nonsense! My daughter is marrying Zolotnikov; They
We've been engaged for a long time, but now we've decided again.
DARIA SEMENOVNA No, sir, excuse me... he immediately asked for Mashenka’s hand.
KUBYRKINA No, not Mashenka, but Katenka.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Little girls, they tell you!
KUBYRKINA No, sir, Katya" Your Mashenka, of course, is a sweet girl,
however, where can she compare with my Katenka! Although it is not very noticeable,
however, everyone knows that she is a little lopsided.
DARIA SEMENOVNA How? My little Mashenka is lopsided! Do you have eyes?
lopsided! I will order her to undress in front of you. Crooked! That's great! Not
Is that why you got it because your daughter is covered in cotton wool?
KUBYRKINA what? Is my daughter on cotton wool? I have a cotton wool coat, not my daughter
daughter is not a salop. My daughter is born as she is, but she only wears a dress
for the sake of decency. She has no one to deceive.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And it doesn’t deceive; Zolotnikov for nothing is not far
smart, however, and not such a vulgar fool as to marry your daughter.
KUBYRKINA And why?
DARIA SEMENOVNA But because everyone knows that your daughter ran after
a hussar officer who laughed at her and abandoned her; and then the poor one
an orphan was slandered, who was not guilty either in soul or in body. Noble
deed! The hussar told it himself.
KUBYRKINA You dare say this to me.. You! Don't you think?
everyone knows that your lopsided girl is in love with an Italian singer? Shame,
they say, looking at her is like sitting at the opera... everyone laughs!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Do you seem to be forgetting yourself? I won't let you in
I command.
KUBYRKINA I won’t go myself; and without you we will find, thank God, an acquaintance:
General Akhlebova is better than you, and may she find pleasure with me.
DARIA SEMENOVNA And I can’t hold back, mother, I can’t hold back!
KUBYRKINA Goodbye, mother, I’ll go get Katenka. You don't have my leg
will!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Good riddance!
KUBYRKINA But your daughter won’t marry our fiance... she won’t!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yours will stay in the girls!
KUBYRKINA I won’t allow anyone to joke with me; my uncle is a senator, I will find it
protect yourself! Leave quickly so that things don't get worse!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, I tell you, yes I tell you, this is unheard of rudeness! Yes you
You can't deal with me like that! Goodbye, I won't see you again for ages!

SCENE 16.

ALEXANDER(from behind the chair) here she is! Here she is! What a thing it is!
One is lopsided, the other is on cotton wool. One loves the hussars, the other the Italians" and both
They tell me I'm a fool! (running out from behind the chair) But no, I’m not a fool! I don't
Let me fool myself. I'll do it my way! I will choose the third, that is, the first,
not one or the other, but the third, that is, the first! That's what it is, that's it
she, here she is! (seeing Nastya) Yes, here she is! Wait, madam, let me
tell you two words.
NASTYA To me?
ALEXANDER Are you angry with me?
NASTYA For what?
ALEXANDER Well, well, admit that you're angry?
NASTYA Not at all.
ALEXANDER Why! I showed you so much attention the first time, and
then he took up completely unrelated subjects.
NASTYA So what!
ALEXANDER R Let me ask first, do you have any relatives of the hussars?
NASTYA No.
ALEXANDER You don't sing Italian arias?
NASTYA I have no voice.
ALEXANDER What a priceless girl you are! Nastasya" as per the priest?
NASTYA Pavlovna.
ALEXANDER Nastenka! I solemnly offer my hand to you.
NASTYA Oh my god! You are certainly not healthy! Shouldn't I send for
doctor?
ALEXANDER You will be my doctor.
NASTYA Sorry, I don’t have time" (wants to leave)
ALEXANDER(holding) No, first decide the fate of my life. Not
just be embarrassed; tell me, will you be pleased for me to marry you?
NASTYA I wonder how you dare talk to me like that. I'm poor
girl, but I won't allow cheeky jokes.
ALEXANDER Yes, for mercy's sake, I'm not joking; I have a positive intention
marry you.
NASTYA Who told you that I shared this intention! Why are you
took me to marry the first person I met? I know in St. Petersburg
rich suitors are not afraid of rejection, but for me there is much more in life
except money. There, in the living room, they said now that you have two million, and,
I confess that on this occasion I heard so much that I felt disgusted.
However, it’s not difficult for you to get married, just say the word” and the brides will come running
from all sides, and what I need is not a wallet, but a person whom I could
love and respect. Farewell!
ALEXANDER Nastasya Pavlovna! Listen to me.
NASTYA For what? You've made a mistake about me: I'm not like others." Where can you understand
the pride of a poor girl who, for lack of other treasures, keeps
spiritual wealth? She will not exchange her soul for luxury that she does not need;
she may take pity and make her happy, because she values ​​herself highly, but
will never sell himself.
ALEXANDER So you are refusing me, Nastasya Pavlovna?
NASTYA Decisively.
ALEXANDER And you don't give up hope?
NASTYA Not the slightest.
ALEXANDER Listen, Nastasya Pavlovna, I’m stupid, funny, impudent, ignorant
- whatever you want; Only, really, I’m not a bad person. I have a tender
heart; well, am I to blame; Well, believe me, I’m still thinking about how to get attached,
love well, and then that’s it! The soul, the soul whispers:
“Get attached, you idiot, get attached,” - well, and here, as if on purpose, fate
teases. Either a hussar turns up, or some Italian, and I’m a fool with
money! Well, what do I need in this money, tell me yourself... Everyone wants my money, but
Nobody wants me, I myself.
NASTYA(aside) He really is pathetic. (out loud) Look, don't
hurry up - maybe you'll find it.
ALEXANDER Yes, I want you, Nastasya Pavlovna; you open my eyes. I
I feel like a new person; have pity on my rich position.
NASTYA I told you my decisive answer. Rest assured that I
I spoke to you out of conviction, and not out of empty coquetry. Don't be mad at
me; this lesson may be useful to you; when you get too forgetful
with some women, you will involuntarily remember that there are those who do not
only deserve, but even demand, respect.
(Curts down coldly and leaves.)

PHENOMENON17.

ALEXANDER Wow, the abyss! It doesn't get any easier hour by hour. It was three just now
brides, and now not a single one!
ZOLOTNIKOV(at the door) Well, have you made up your mind?
ALEXANDER Wait, wait"
ZOLOTNIKOV Who should I congratulate?
ALEXANDER Not with anyone: she refused!
ZOLOTNIKOV Who, Katenka?
ALEXANDER No.
ZOLOTNIKOV Mashenka?
ALEXANDER Not really!
ZOLOTNIKOV So who?
MASHA(enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what does this mean? Is it true that you
Did you propose to Katenka? Do you want to insult me? Only it's not like that
it will work out" I have a brother in the Caucasus.. You won't get rid of him. Do you hear
is it?
ALEXANDER I really don’t understand what you want.
ZOLOTNIKOV That's what she's like!
KUBYRKINA ( enters) She’s already here, but what do I care? I'll send you out, I won't leave you
together. Marya Petrovna, I left a handkerchief in your room. Let me
get.
MASHA(to the side) How unbearable! It arrived on time! (out loud) Now
I'll bring it, sir.
KUBYRKINA Sorry to bother you! (leaves)
KATE(enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what did I learn? you wanted again
deceive me: you are wooing Mashenka. This is too much." This won't work for you.
in vain - my second cousin will stand up for me, will fight with you
pistols, he will kill, he will certainly kill!
ZOLOTNIKOV This one is good too.
DARIA SEMENOVNA(enters) That’s right, she’s already hooked up with the guy: but I
for what? Katerina Ivanovna, mummy is calling you.
KATE(to the side) She came at the right time" (aloud) Where is she?
DARIA SEMENOVNA I think I’ve gone here, I’ll take you (to the side) And then
I won't leave you alone.
ALEXANDER Do you hear, father, what a story it is.
ZOLOTNIKOV Shut up!
NASTYA(walking across the stage) Ah, I thought you left.
ALEXANDER No, I’m going... I’m going." Nastasya Pavlovna, I’m in despair.

Kubyrkina, Katya, Masha, Daria Semyonovna run out of different doors and
rush at Alexander, quickly and almost simultaneously.

DARIA SEMENOVNA No, it can't stay like this!
KUBYRKINA This should explain itself!
MASHA Yes, sir, if you please tell the truth!
KATE I have suffered enough from you!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Did you get married to my Mashenka?
KUBYRKINA Did you marry my Katenka?
DARIA SEMENOVNA I won't let my daughter be insulted.
KUBYRKINA And I will complain; my uncle is a senator.
KATE Why are you widening your eyes?
MASHA Why are you standing rooted to the spot? Speak up, explain!
ZOLOTNIKOV(running out) Sasha, Sasha! Are you here? Sasha, you and I are lost!
Dead! Trouble has happened! I feel bad!
ALEXANDER(with fear) Father! What happened to you?
ZOLOTNIKOV Burst! Burst!
ALEXANDER Who burst?
ZOLOTNIKOV
Tambov.
ALL Tambov!
ALEXANDER What, an earthquake?
ZOLOTNIKOV That is, not Tambov, but a Tambov farm-out, the deposits are all gone -
After all, my entire fortune was worth two million! I received the letter.
there is only one village left, and that one is being auctioned off." Sasha! We have nothing else.
ALEXANDER Well, thank God! And I was so scared: I thought that it was with you
cholera has arrived! So why shout like that? You won't have any money, but I
what, what am I supposed to do?
NASTYA(listening) Yes, he is a noble man!
MASHA Oh, poor Katerina Ivanovna!
KATE Oh, unfortunate Marya Petrovna!
KUBYRKINA I feel sorry for you, Vasily Petrovich, here! You can say"
unpleasant counterdance.
KATE Kontrdans, mummy.
KUBYRKINA Doesn't matter; all you have to do is humble yourself before Providence" Your son
young; Now he will settle down and marry Marya Petrovna.
DARIA SEMENOVNA No, your son was wooing Katerina Ivanovna; I'm with her
I don’t fight off suitors - let him live happily.
ZOLOTNIKOV Let me ask: who is marrying Sasha?
MASHA Certainly not me!
KATE And not me either!
ZOLOTNIKOV(to Nastya) Isn’t it you?
ALEXANDER No, father, she refused me even a rich man! Let's get out of here
It's time to come to my senses, money is making my head spin, so
I got crazy in my head. Now you have to be human yourself. What are you doing
you think I’m a blockhead, a chair, some kind of brute, I don’t feel what I do to you
must? You have done your best work for me, thank God, now it’s mine
queue. I will provide for you, I will feed you, I will go to anything, to the store, to
day laborers, shoemakers, artisans, farm laborers, journalists,
writers! (To the audience) Gentlemen, does anyone have a place? Without protection, you
you know, it’s difficult. Do not refuse, I will justify: honest, kind, loyal,
you will be satisfied! Well, let's go, father, let's be ourselves, and not an accessory to
your money. This lesson is worth all your wealth.
ZOLOTNIKOV Well, let's go.
NASTYA Wait, Alexander Vasilyevich, I’m to blame for you.
ALEXANDER You?
NASTYA I insulted you just now because I didn’t know your nobility
feelings.
ALEXANDER
Don't talk, don't talk, otherwise your heart will go up again
bottom; Now I don’t even dare to get married.
NASTYA And only now I can agree to your proposal; in my
a lot of pride and I feel like I can replace everything you've lost. Here
my hand to you.
ALEXANDER R What do I hear?.. Nastenka" Nastasya Pavlovna!
ZOLOTNIKOV My daughter! Hug me" Well, you hug me too, only in
last time.
KATE How touching!
KUBYRKINA This is nonsense!
DARIA SEMENOVNA Yes, tell me, Vasily Petrovich, how could this misfortune
happen to you?
ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, if you please see, mother, it didn’t happen, but it could have
just happen.
KUBYRKINA What does it mean?
ZOLOTNIKOV Which means that last year I gave up on everyone
payoffs, and two million will go, so be it, for Nastenka’s pins.
You cheated, mother, sinful man! I wanted to help out my Sasha.
NASTYA So you deceived me?
DARIA SEMENOVNA This is out of hand!
MASHA What is Nastya like? After all, I did, I must have guessed.
KATE I knew everything in advance; however, I’m very happy!
KUBYRKINA It's like nothing else; we will not allow ourselves to be fooled; I have
uncle senator!
SERVANT the guests have arrived.
DARIA SEMENOVNA Let's go, Mashenka. We have nothing to do here. And you,
Mother, congratulations, master! She repaid me for my care! I got everyone through!
NASTYA I fooled everyone, “They will really think,” This is unbearable! No,
I'd rather give up my word.
ZOLOTNIKOV Who said that the word is sacred? No, if of any kind
to be afraid, you won’t be able to live like that. No, let them say whatever they want, and we
a merry feast and for the wedding.
ALEXANDER Hurry up, father!
ZOLOTNIKOV That's the same! And you look at your wife, and knock the nonsense out of your head, and
You will have joy and consolation, and not trouble, from a tender heart.
ALEXANDER R:
Having finished my adventures,
Now at this decisive hour,
I must ask for mercy
For the writer and us.
We are afraid that we are tired
Comfort us, gentlemen,
So that tender hearts are in trouble
It really wasn't a disaster!

Listen, where is the feeling of the 19th century here? Yes, the beginning of the play (like all beginnings) is interesting. Then Dmitry Efremov appears on stage and eats an apple. You, the viewer, really hope that two more apples will appear and he will juggle them. At least a little. But no, the apple (from a nearby store) was just bitten. Also, the audience’s interest, like an apple, was bitten at the beginning and then thrown away.
The main character is the loving son of a rich tax farmer, he is approximately 20+ years old. The action takes place no later than 1850. But who does Efremov play? A deliberate Komsomol activist from a forgotten Soviet film from 1950? At the same time, adding to this image (if we can even talk about any image here) the features of a blockhead, expressively reading his role. This expressiveness is probably supposed to be funny? When he appears on stage, you already begin to wonder, when will he leave there? So he meets Katenka in the St. Petersburg house, to whom he declared his love in a village near Tambov and became engaged. It was imperceptible that he felt any surprise from such an unexpected meeting and, apparently, not very pleasant for him, taking into account the fact that half an hour ago he had promised to marry Mashenka, and before that, Nastenka. Mashenka (Lilia Solovyova), of course, plays, you understand, she plays, and doesn’t just go on stage and make “theatrical movements” voiced in the text (I’m quoting the play program). Well, she plays expressively, but not the 19th century. Either the director decided that the 19th century wouldn’t make you laugh (although I had seen Chekhov’s vaudevilles, in a theater of the same format and without modernization, but it was fun), or that was the text of the vaudeville... It seems that Mashenka is played closer to a modern girl . But our groom is helped out not only by Mashenka, but also by dad (played by Vladimir Vorobyov). But Vorobyov, according to the play, appears on stage very little. Although from the 19th century, it appears fun. But this is a completely normal impression from z.a., it would not be enough for it to be different. Nastenka (A. Zykova) also plays within the required time frame. But the feeling that these characters and the main character were taken from different performances, some from pre-revolutionary vaudeville, the other as if playing a tractor driver, as he was filmed, for example, before the war, does not leave... It was decided to add some fun with dancing songs. There are 5 or 6 dance scenes, sorry, I lost count. Look, for an hour and a half, that's just a lot. Plus, the dances are so similar, and, frankly speaking, without any complications, although they are technically performed. Very good for, say, a graduate student skit. Well, it’s not bad here, but there’s a lot. Less would be better (c). But the tractor ruins everything.
I promised myself to watch B.N.S. on another, by the way, similar site, but which has only recently existed. I wonder what will happen.

Zolotnikov
Alexander
Daria
Semyonovna
Masha
Nastenka
Kubyrkina
Kate
Servant
Hairdresser
Lackey.

PHENOMENON 1.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Oh, my God! Still no pink dress. What is this? The dress was ordered for this evening, but you will receive it tomorrow morning.” Everything is so, everything is so. Such a shame: I would just beat someone! Nastya! Nastya! Nastenka!

NASTYA I'm here, auntie.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA. Well, thank God! Where have you been, mother? Everything in my head is nonsense, but there’s nothing to think about my aunt; did you send to marchande de modes?

NASTYA I sent it, auntie.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Well, what about Mashenka’s dress?

NASTYA Ready, auntie.”

DARIA SEMYONOVNA So why don’t they carry it?

NASTYA Yes, auntie"

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Why are you grumbling?

NASTYA (quietly) Without money, auntie, they won’t give it away; They say they already owe a lot.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What, are you trying to be rude to me, mother? Here’s my gratitude: I took an orphan into my home, I feed and clothe her, and she still says barbs to me. No, honey, I won’t let you forget. What? They brought crackers, huh?.. They’re spinning the ice cream.” Eh?.. You won’t think about anything. Well, why are you standing rooted to the spot? You see, Mashenka hasn’t combed her hair yet; give me the studs.

MASHA Here I should put rings on my forehead “like this” Mama, as you wish, but if they don’t bring me a dress, I won’t marry for anything; I’ll stay in my room and call in sick. As you please.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What are you? What you? Lost her mind! I’m making an evening for you, but you won’t be there; will you order me to dance instead of you? We will have the very first wives,” that is, gentlemen.

MASHA Yes! That's exactly how they'll go.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Why, mother, won’t they go?

MASHA What did they forget here? After all, there is now a better ball than yours; I told you to put it off, but you want everything your own way.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA It’s time for you to get married, Mashenka, otherwise my strength is lacking these evenings. Look, Prince Kurdyukov will be there today, try to please him.

NASTYA Oh, auntie, he’s an old man!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA No one is asking you. Well, what an old man, his money is young. A servant enters with a letter

Who is this from? “Well” (with annoyance) Wonderful, incomparable” Prince Kurdyukov apologizes, it can’t be.

MASHA Well, what did I say!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What, Mashenka, should I send for a pink dress? After all, there will be no prince.

MASHA, of course, should be sent.” What do you think? Am I going to go without a dress because of your old man, or what?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Oh, Mashenka, at least you would be ashamed of people.

MASHA He's French, he doesn't understand.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Well, then I’ll go get the money, I’ll send for the dress.

MASHA It would be high time... well, well, go.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA So she raised herself a bride - ruin and nothing more! (Leaves.)

PHENOMENON 2.

MASHA (to the hairdresser) Here it is again! Nastya "Nastya" what are you thinking about?

NASTYA So, nothing, something sad”

MASHA What nonsense! Look, has this hairstyle stuck with me?

NASTYA Has arrived.

MASHA Very pestering?

NASTYA Very.

MASHA Right” Well, what are you going to wear?

NASTYA Yes, I’ll stay like this, why should I dress up?” no one will notice me.

MASHA You should at least weave a ribbon into your hair.” I have a lot of old ribbons in my closet.

NASTYA No, why?

MASHA Well, as you wish.

ZOLOTNIKOV (behind the scenes) Is Daria Semyonovna at home?

MASHA Oh, what a shame, man! (the hairdresser runs after her).

PHENOMENON 3.

ZOLOTNIKOV Sorry,” I scared someone here. (to the side) Oh, this daughter. (out loud) But the mistress is not at home, apparently?

NASTYA No, sir, at home; I'll go tell her.

ZOLOTNIKOV Neither, nor, don’t worry; It’s you that I need.

NASTYA Me?

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes; let me take a good look at just you. Turn around a little, like this “incomparable” I couldn’t have asked for anything better than you.

NASTYA Yes, I don’t know you at all.

ZOLOTNIKOV You will meet me soon. What year are you?

NASTYA Eighteen

ZOLOTNIKOV Excellent. Tell me, do you have any suitors?

NASTYA No, sir.

ZOLOTNIKOV Why don’t they look, fools! Are you thinking about marriage?

NASTYA Sorry, I don't have time.

ZOLOTNIKOV No, you are not angry. I am Zolotnikov, farmer. Have you heard maybe? A man who has become rich, my speech is a little harsh. And, by the way, I take an active part in you; Would you believe it, I came from Kazan for you on purpose to make you an offer.

NASTYA Are you?

ZOLOTNIKOV Don’t think I’m talking about myself. First of all, I am fifty years old; secondly, my face is far from attractive; thirdly, my wife is in Tambov. No, sir, I want to marry my son, and if I were to tell the whole truth, I would really like to marry him to you. Of course, if you fall in love with each other. You don't love anyone, do you? Tell me the truth"

NASTYA No one, sir.

ZOLOTNIKOV Well, don’t like it. I'll introduce my son to you. He is a kind little guy. The heart is only tender. Just give me your word that you will not mind my proposal.

NASTYA Listen, the word is not a joke: once you give your word, you have to keep it, but I don’t know your son.

ZOLOTNIKOV So what? He's waiting here in the living room.

PHENOMENON 4.

ZOLOTNIKOV Oh, no way, here’s the hostess! Ege-he-he, how she has changed! Thalia was just a glass, and now, thank you God.” Daria Semyonovna, do you recognize me?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA (looking) It’s my fault, sir.

ZOLOTNIKOV Remember well.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Excuse me” No, I can’t.

ZOLOTNIKOV Thank you, Daria Semyonovna. Let me ask - do you still play the piano?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA And, father, where should I go?

ZOLOTNIKOV Remember, in 1919 in Kazan.”

DARIA SEMYONOVNA My God, Vasily Petrovich!

ZOLOTNIKOV I am a great sinner. This is the time. Became a different person. (points to the vest) There was nothing here - it appeared. (points to his head) There was a lot here - almost nothing remains. Daria Semyonovna didn’t recognize it!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA God brought us to meet. Do I seem as old to you, father, as you do to me? Yes, I heard you got terribly rich.

ZOLOTNIKOV With grief, Daria Semyonovna. As you refused me, remember, I entered into business, into trading, to my misfortune, became rich and out of despair and got married.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Out of consistency, that’s right; and here with what destinies?

ZOLOTNIKOV I have some good stuff, but I brought my son.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Do you have many children?

ZOLOTNIKOV One son in total.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Married?

ZOLOTNIKOV No, he’s still single.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Please, humbly, sit down. Nastenka, see if the candles are lit in the living room. Sit down please; What the hell were we talking about?

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, about my son; I want to marry him.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Oh, be careful, Vasily Petrovich! In St. Petersburg, the girls are all good-looking; and when they get married, it’s immediately clear that their upbringing is not the same, not at all the same. I have a daughter, so I can brag about it.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I spoke to her just now.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA And no! You spoke to my niece, an orphan whom I keep out of mercy. I am a mother, Vasily Petrovich... but I’ll tell you that my daughter was raised this way, prepared this way.”

MASHA (behind the scenes) Mommy!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What, my dear?

MASHA The dress was brought.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Now, my friend; and such an innocent child will be put to shame.

ZOLOTNIKOV This is what I need. Sasha is my good boy, but he still has the wind in his head; They told him that he had two million."

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Two million?..

ZOLOTNIKOV Two million. Believe me, his heart is so tender, as soon as he sees a skirt, he will melt; every day I am in love; what are you going to do? Well, it would be all right for a prank, but in the summer, in Tambov, I decided to marry some intriguer. Fortunately, the hussar turned up, otherwise I would have cried with him forever. I see things badly: I’m taking my son with me to St. Petersburg, and to you, Daria Semyonovna, from old memory I know that you won’t refuse good advice; and you, I heard, have a daughter. Who knows? Maybe our children will meet and fall in love.” If it’s not us, it’s our children, Daria Semyonovna, isn’t it?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What's the old thing to remember!

ZOLOTNIKOV will not return, truly. Well, let’s admire the children.” Let me kiss your hand.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA With pleasure.

ZOLOTNIKOV And the hand has aged; do you sniff tobacco?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA For the eyes, Vasily Petrovich.

MASHA Mama, come here; How obnoxious you are!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Now, now, my angel “Now I’ll bring it to you” Don’t be too strict.

PHENOMENON 5.

ZOLOTNIKOV Lord, what a change! “She didn’t recognize me,” that’s a lesson for you, Vasily Petrovich.” For thirty years I remembered her with pleasure,” imagining her as her former beauty. And that’s what prompted me to come here!

Ah, right is worse than a slap,
Like having not seen each other for thirty years,
You will find an old woman in the ruins
Love is an enthusiastic subject.
Oh! Dasha! In previous years
This is not how we met you;
(With a sigh) Then you smelled the flowers,
Now - you sniff tobacco!

PHENOMENON 6.

ALEXANDER (throws himself on his father's neck) Father, hug me. I agree, have it your way, I’m not marrying her, I like her, I really like her. I am satisfied, I am glad, I am happy, prosperous.” Father, hug me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Wait a minute!

ALEXANDER No, hug me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Listen!

ALEXANDER No, hug me: like this” again. It’s over, it’s decided, I will fulfill your will: I will marry her, and precisely her, no one else, but her! That’s what I came up with, that’s my father.” Hug me again.

ZOLOTNIKOV Listen!

ALEXANDER Eyes, waist, hair “what character” You can see now. Father, bless!

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, get rid of it, please.” We were mistaken, it’s not her.

ALEXANDER Why not her? She, she, she! I don’t want her to be not her!

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I was mistaken: you think that I was talking there in the living room with my daughter.”

ALEXANDER Well, yes.

ZOLOTNIKOV That's the thing, she's not a daughter.

ALEXANDER Why not a daughter? Wasn't she born without a father and without a mother?.. She was someone's daughter?.. There was some kind of mother, and a father too.

ZOLOTNIKOV She is a niece.

ALEXANDER Whatever.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, they tell you that she is a niece.

ALEXANDER Yes, even if she were an uncle, I’ll still marry her! Thy will was the father's will - the law.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, I predicted another for you.

ALEXANDER No, my father’s will is the law!.. I don’t want another.

ZOLOTNIKOV Don't make any noise, they're coming here.

ALEXANDER So don’t let them go,” tell them not to go.

ZOLOTNIKOV Just look.

ALEXANDER I don’t even want to look.

PHENOMENON 7.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Here is my Mashenka, Vasily Petrovich; I ask for love and favor. (in ear) Stay straight! (loudly) She's shy to me. (in ear) Sit down well. (out loud) Excuse her, Vasily Petrovich: she’s not a secular girl, she’s all about needlework and books.

MASHA (in her mother's ear) Stop it, mommy!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA No, I tell her: “Why are you, Mashenka, spoiling your eyes in your summer?” In your summer you should look for pleasures, have fun,” and she says to me: “No, mamma, I don’t want your secular pleasures, that in them “A woman’s job is not to dance and not to flirt, but to be a kind wife, a gentle mother.”

MASHA Mommy, I'll leave"

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Would you believe it, I left the whole household in her hands - let her get used to it, and in her free time she plays music, draws, where do you have this head that you graduated without a teacher, you know, this Apollo Velbedersky?

MASHA (out loud) Tore it up. (in ear) Mommy, I'm tired of you!

ZOLOTNIKOV And here, madam, is my son. (to his son) Bow down!

ALEXANDER I don't want to.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA It’s very nice to meet you: is this your first time visiting us in St. Petersburg?

ALEXANDER Yes!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA How long are you planning to stay here?

ALEXANDER No.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Why is this so?

ALEXANDER Yes.

MASHA AH, Mama, your questions are not very modest: it may be unpleasant for them.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Where can I be able to talk to young people? It's your job to keep young people busy. Let's go, Vasily Petrovich; no matter how many years we haven’t seen each other, there’s something to talk about” (in the ear) Let them get acquainted; It will be freer without us.

ZOLOTNIKOV Of course.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA And you, darling, manage here without me; It’s time to get used to it: today you’re a girl, and tomorrow you might live in a house yourself. Everything is in the will of the Lord. (kisses her on the forehead and speaks in her ear) Don't forget! Two million! (Aloud) Let's go, Vasily Petrovich.

PHENOMENON 8.

MASHA (aside) He seems to be completely unhewn. Oh, what a pity!

ALEXANDER (aside) Well, how can you compare her with that one! That one has eyes, a waist, hair.” However, this one is decent too.

MASHA Would you like to sit down?

ALEXANDER No, sir, why!

Silence

MASHA How do you like our St. Petersburg?

ALEXANDER (absent-mindedly) What?

MASHA Do you like Petersburg?

ALEXANDER Petersburg, or what? Famous city, sir!

MASHA When did you arrive?

ALEXANDER On the very day of magnetic illumination, you deigned to hear, of course?

MASHA Yes, I heard it, but I didn’t see it.”

Silence

Have you already been to Passage?

ALEXANDER Why, just now I ate hearth pies downstairs.

MASHA Do you like it?

ALEXANDER Pies or what?

MASHA No” Passage.

ALEXANDER pleasant walk.

MASHA Why don't you sit down?

ALEXANDER Don't worry! (to the side) Eyes, what eyes! Where were my eyes that I didn’t notice her eyes!

MASHA We have a wonderful opera this year.

ALEXANDER They say, sir.

MASHA Are you perhaps a musician yourself?

ALEXANDER Why, sir! I play a little.

MASHA On the piano?

ALEXANDER Mainly on the horn.

ALEXANDER And you, sir? (getting pampered)

MASHA I sing a little.

ALEXANDER Really? It is so pleasant! (aside) I don’t know why I didn’t like her the first time. She’s very, very sweet.” And what a wonderful manner. (To her) I really don’t know if I dare ask you.

MASHA How's that?

ALEXANDER I say, I don’t know if I dare to ask you..

MASHA What?

ALEXANDER I don’t know if I dare to ask the first time.” Please encourage me.

MASHA (flirty) Why? What do you want?

ALEXANDER Do I dare ask “for example” (to the side) Yes, this is a charm, not a girl” (To her) Make me happy, please, let me listen.

MASHA Yes, we are waiting for guests.

ALEXANDER You'll have time.

ALEXANDER Try it.

MASHA (flirtatious) Is it just for you? (going to the piano)

ALEXANDER (aside) For you, for me” She said for you “She liked me” “Yes, this is not a girl” charm!

MASHA Just accompany me, please; I have a new romance here.

ALEXANDER With pleasure (sits at the piano)

Tell me what's in the shadow of the branches,
When nature rests
The spring nightingale sings
And what does he express in song?
Why is everyone secretly worried about blood?
Tell me, tell me what the word is
Familiar to everyone and forever new?
Love!
Tell me what you're talking about in private
In thought, is the girl telling fortunes?
What secret trembling in a dream
Does he promise her fear and joy?
Call that illness strange
In which there is eternal joy.
What should she expect? What does she want?
Love!
When from life's melancholy
You, tired, languish
And, despite the evil sadness,
At least you call upon the ghost of happiness"
What delights your breast?
Aren't those unearthly sounds
When did you first hear -
I love?!

ALEXANDER (jumps up from his chair and runs to Masha) Oh, what a voice! What a voice! What feeling! What a soul! You've driven me crazy; I’m delighted, now I’ll go crazy if you don’t allow me to hope.

MASHA How to hope?

ALEXANDER Don’t you know anything?

MASHA No.

ALEXANDER, don’t you know that your old woman was once in love with my old man?

MASHA How about mummy too? I wouldn't have thought that. Yes, she didn't tell me about it.

ALEXANDER Yes, they never talk about it. So, father, I came up with the idea that I would be against you, or you for me. It’s all the same,” only it depends on you. Well, in love, in love, completely in love. Well, if you don’t agree, I will be the most unfortunate mortal.

MASHA So say it.

ALEXANDER Father wishes my happiness; he only thinks about my happiness; Yes, and I wish myself happiness - who doesn’t wish themselves happiness! Only you, maybe, don’t want my happiness?

MASHA Have mercy” why?

ALEXANDER How? Do you want my happiness?.. Really?

MASHA Of course.

ALEXANDER So can I hope?

MASHA I depend on my mother.

ALEXANDER It’s not about mummy, it’s about mummy; tell me about yourself “can you like me?”

MASHA (simply) Why not?

ALEXANDER Marya” as per the priest?

MASHA Petrovna.

ALEXANDER Mashenka! I am the happiest person in the world, I will love, love, love you, like no one has ever loved before, and never will!

MASHA Just wait.

ALEXANDER Why wait, why wait? This is hypocrisy; I do not want to wait; I love you, we love each other, we will be happy; we will have children; make of me what you will; order, dispose, let me just prove my love to you.

MASHA You are truly a strange person. However, listen, we're having a dance party tonight.

ALEXANDER Do you want to dance with me? Don’t exact it as best I can.

MASHA It’s all the same, but you see, I don’t have a bouquet.

ALEXANDER So what? What do you need a bouquet for?

MASHA It’s in fashion: holding a bouquet in your hands.” Don’t you understand?

ALEXANDER No.

MASHA Well, I'll tell you: go get a bouquet, only of fresh flowers.

ALEXANDER Where will I go?

MASHA Where you want: that's your business. “And I need to receive guests.” Goodbye (extends his hand)

ALEXANDER (kissing the hand) What a hand!

What kind of pens are, simply wonderful!

I would be ready to kiss forever.

Well, go ahead, bye

Bring me flowers.

ALEXANDER

What kind of weirdness is this?
What good is a bouquet to you?
What do you need other people's flowers?
You are the best flower yourself!

PHENOMENON 9.

ZOLOTNIKOV Where are you going, crazy?

ALEXANDER Father, I congratulate you on the bouquet!.. Hug me! I will fulfill your command.” Your desire is my law! Yes! I’ll marry her” I’m happy.. I’ve been completely reborn” From fresh flowers.

ZOLOTNIKOV What happened?

ALEXANDER What happened? I am in love at your command. The father's will is the law! Yes! You want, I’ll get married whenever you want, even today.” Parent, bless.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, explain first.

ALEXANDER No, hug me, hug me like a parent... That's it! It's over! I'll marry her!

ZOLOTNIKOV But who is she wearing?

ALEXANDER On it!

ZOLOTNIKOV On the niece?

ALEXANDER On his daughter.

ZOLOTNIKOV On Nastenka?

ALEXANDER On Mashenka, on my Mashenka, on Marya Petrovna. For everyone she is Marya Petrovna, but for me Mashenka!

ZOLOTNIKOV How did you tell me that you were in love with someone else, with your first one?

ALEXANDER First?.. no! It seemed so to me; however, she is also a very, very, very nice girl. This is the only one you, my father, assigned to me, and besides, she sings,” she sings! Father, did you hear Grisi?

ZOLOTNIKOV No, I haven’t heard.

ALEXANDER And I haven’t heard, so that’s how he sings. Well, let's go!

ZOLOTNIKOV How are we going?

ALEXANDER Yes, let's go for bouquets, for sweets... She wants it, she ordered it; Well, take your hat - let's go!

ZOLOTNIKOV Go alone.

ALEXANDER No, I’m not going alone: ​​I won’t find anything; Let's come back now.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, at least explain.

ALEXANDER Dear, I’ll explain everything. Don't forget that the fate of my life depends on this. Well, let's go.

PHENOMENON 10.

KUBYRKINA This is your blotter, mother, of course.

KATYA Boudoir, mummy

KUBYRKINA Well, all the same, General Akhlebova has exactly the same one; Tell me how everyone lives in St. Petersburg!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Haven't you been here for a long time?

KUBYRKINA Fifteen years old; It's a joke! But, I must admit, yours is expensive.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yes, not cheap.

KUBYRKINA For mercy, whatever you don’t take hold of” beef sirloin 34 kopecks! Is it unheard of! Trustee, I rented an apartment such that a lawyer in Tambov wouldn’t want to live with me.”

KATYA Cherte, mummy.

KUBYRKINA No matter.

MASHA (to Katya) Was your dress made at home or in a store?

KATYA Of course, in the store.

MASHA (aside) She lied; Now it’s clear that they’re at home. (To her) Where did you get the cape?

KATYA IN THE PASSAGE.

MASHA Very nice.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Do you, Agrafena Grigorievna, play cards?

KUBYRKINA A passionate huntress, mother, not out of interest, but just for a little reason.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Do you travel a lot now? The balls have begun"

KUBYRKINA Unfortunately, my Katenka fell ill; It’s also good that her nature is strong and she recovered quickly, otherwise the doctor was afraid that a relapse would occur.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Relapse, mother.

KUBYRKINA And, mother, relapse, recitation - it’s all the same. Where is your room, Marya Petrovna?

MASHA Here, on this side.

KUBYRKINA Oh, let me be curious.

MASHA You're welcome.

KUBYRKINA Let's go, Katenka.

KATYA I’ll come now, mummy; I’ll just fix the curls.

PHENOMENA 11.

KATYA (alone in front of the mirror) How mannered this Mashenka is! Why is she turning her nose up? This is the importance of living in St. Petersburg. Am I worse than her? Well, what?.. just nothing, just no worse.

I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in St. Petersburg
Katya from Tambov!
Against other young ladies
I'm no worse!
I am no less than them,
Narrower at the waist
Thick hair in a braid,
And besides, since childhood I
I learned all the secrets
Female coquetry;
I know, I love pranks,
How to lie with your heart,
How probably yourself
Make you love
And my eyes and gaze
Always playing tricks:
They will give you a smile,
They will enrage you with ridicule.
I myself am seventeen years old,
And ask anyone
There is no better place in St. Petersburg
Katya from Tambov!

SCENE 12.

ALEXANDER Here’s the bouquet” I got it with great effort.. Here’s another (drops everything) My God! Who do I see? Katerina Ivanovna!

KATYA Alexander Vasilievich! Oh! (faints on a chair)

ALEXANDER It’s bad for her.” She’s bad for her! I scared" This is for me" Help! Help!

KATYA Don't shout!

ALEXANDER woke up “woke up” Katerina Ivanovna!

Katya faints again

Phew, another seizure; she’ll suffocate in the corset.. Are there scissors to cut the laces?” Oh, by the way.. (hastily takes the scissors from the dressing table)

KATYA (jumping up) Don't come near! Do not touch! What do you need? Why are you here? Is it not enough for you that you deceived me, that after all your promises and assurances, you abandoned me, an orphan? Go, don't show yourself to me!

ALEXANDER Here they are! How am I still to blame?

KATYA He asks “is he guilty?” Yes, you are a monster, not a person! You are a shameless Don Juan!

ALEXANDER What is Don Juan?

KATYA It's none of your business! Answer” and explain your action. I really don’t know how I’m still talking to you. Well, please tell me “You live in our village” “You pretend to be in love, look for my hand, and when I, as an inexperienced, defenseless girl, began to feel inclined towards you”

ALEXANDER Please don't look at me like that."

KATYA When I agreed to your proposal, I entrust my fate to you, you suddenly leave without saying a word, without saying goodbye, without even drinking tea “just like a thief” (crying) Oh, I’m unhappy! What did I do?

ALEXANDER No, please allow me." No, please allow me." Look at me

KATYA, if you please.”

ALEXANDER (to the side) Wow, you’re an abyss” She’s become prettier again” (to Her) What the hell did I want to ask? Yes, let me ask you, what did you want to make of me?

KATYA “Like what?” I thought that you would be my husband. Is it good? Well, after that, tell me, who are you like?

ALEXANDER I look like my mother,” but that’s not the point. What kind of husband did you want to make me?

KATYA What kind of husband? Ordinary.

ALEXANDER How ordinary?

I would really like to know
Which husbands exactly?
A week after the wedding,
Would I, sinner, be with you?
Everything is shared between wives and husbands,
How will the Lord bless them?
But what about the husband, tell me yourself,
Will the hussar share with you?
KATYA What hussar?

ALEXANDER What? Don't know which hussar? But that hussar-repairer who was visiting your village!

KATYA Yes, he is my brother.

ALEXANDER Which brother?

KATYA Second cousin.

ALEXANDER I know these brothers! Thank you for this kind of brotherhood; humble servant!

KATYA, you forget"

ALEXANDER No, on the contrary, I remember very well.” Don’t pretend, I know everything.

KATYA What do you know?

ALEXANDER, I know that he wrote letters to you.

KATYA That's not true!

ALEXANDER that's great! I read it myself, and what kind of letters are these?” “My angel, Katenka!” My angel” where do they learn, hussars, to write such letters?

KATYA So you're angry about this?

ALEXANDER Not enough, or what? What more would you like?

Katya laughs.

Well, why are you laughing?

KATYA, have mercy, you are so funny!

ALEXANDER Who, am I funny? No, I’m not funny, I’m offended.” Can you explain why you received hussar letters?

KATYA Nothing is easier.

ALEXANDER Well, try and explain!

KATYA I don't want to.

ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, please explain.

KATYA You're not worth it.

ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna! I beg you, explain,” don’t be cruel.

KATYA Well, listen; Do you remember Katenka Rybnikova?

ALEXANDER was visiting you? For mercy's sake, she is Avdotya.

KATYA This is the older sister, and that one is the other; these letters to her, I only betrayed them. He even wanted to marry her.

ALEXANDER How, really? Ah, Katerina Ivanovna! I am a fool, a villain, a wicked man, a slanderer! Torment me, beat me! Guilty without guilt! And why did these hussars bother me? Forgive me, Katerina Ivanovna!

KATYA No, it's too late now.

ALEXANDER Katerina Ivanovna, so you are innocent?

KATYA Well, of course! However, as you wish.

ALEXANDER (throwing himself to his knees) Katerina Ivanovna, be generous, don’t make me die of grief.

KATYA (crying) No! I am a poor girl, I love the hussars." Anyone can insult me." I am destined to be unhappy forever - to love forever and suffer alone.

ALEXANDER (on his knees) Katerina Ivanovna, forgive me.

KATYA You won't be jealous anymore?

ALEXANDER Never, Katerina Ivanovna “only”

SCENE 13.

ZOLOTNIKOV (at the door) Bah! What news!

Katya runs away

ALEXANDER Father, it’s her, Katerina Ivanovna, Katya Tambovskaya! I, a monster of the human race, a hussar, wrote letters to Rybnikova, wanted to marry Rybnikova, and she, my Katenka, loved and suffered for me.”

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, at least speak Russian.

ALEXANDER She suffered, father, but she loved for me.

ZOLOTNIKOV You, brother, are out of your mind!

ALEXANDER Father, hug me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Get off, you idiot; crushed everything!

ALEXANDER No, I must, I want, I decided to make amends for my crime.” I am obliged to Katenka; I cannot do otherwise: I will marry Katenka, my Katenka.

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, marry whoever you want; I'm finally tired of you. I’ll give you a quarter of an hour to come to your senses, and then I’ll order you to be examined by the provincial government and put you in a madhouse. There will be no patience! Do you hear that in a quarter of an hour there will be an answer!

ALEXANDER Father! Just hug me.

ZOLOTNIKOV Get away from me, you ass!

SCENE 14.

ALEXANDER (alone, walking around the room) No! Here is the situation” here is the situation. I will marry Katerina Ivanovna, it’s decided; this is my sacred duty.. But I asked for Marya Petrovna’s hand; I excited her imagination.” And what a girl Marya Petrovna is! Charm, ideal, death of reason. , I would really like to marry her! Yes, here’s Nastenka, my niece, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to marry her.” That’s the situation! They won’t allow you to marry three, but one is not enough! This is a tender heart! This is what it leads to! And then the priest came with a knife; It was easy for him, he married his mother, but what about me? Killed, simply killed! Katenka, Nastenka, Mashenka; Nastenka, Mashenka, Katenka” What should I do? I'm dying in my prime! (falls into a chair with a large back, so that he is not visible.)

PHENOMENON 15.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA I can’t stop looking at your Katenka, Agrafena Grigorievna: she is a beauty in the fullest sense!

KUBYRKINA Much mercy, Daria Semyonovna. Why don't you look at strangers! I hope you won’t have time to stop looking at your Mashenka. Just now we talked about her with General Akhlebova. That's a girl, you could say she's a girl!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA kept everything to herself, but you raised yours at home?

KUBYRKINA At home, Daria Semyonovna.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Please tell me what techniques exactly she lived in the great world of centuries... and what modesty, how she behaves!

KUBYRKINA I’m really pleased with Daria Semyonovna that she and your Mashenka have become close. Believe me, it’s been a month since we arrived, and I already find that Katenka has won a lot. And who should we learn from, if not from your Mashenka? Here is an exemplary girl and what a beauty!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Belle femme, you want to say.

KUBYRKINA Yes, mother, it doesn’t matter.” Well, there’s nothing to say, your Masha is a sight for sore eyes.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Do you think your Katya isn’t fun to look at?

KUBYRKINA What manners!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What a bon ton!

KUBYRKINA What a pleasure!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA What kindness in conversation!

We can’t help but congratulate KUBYRKIN

DARIA SEMYONOVNA From the outside you will rejoice.

KUBYRKINA I'm surprised she's not married yet! I think it’s impossible to count the suitors!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yes, there is - fourteen generals have wooed.

KUBYRKINA (to the side) He’s lying,” he’s just lying!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA There were colonels and captains, the prince was alone. But I don’t captivate Mashenka, let her choose. After all, she will have to live together, not me. However, as a good friend, I can tell you a secret: today I told Mashenka.

KUBYRKINA Really? It was a happy day, and I talked to Katenka today.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA My daughter is marrying a rich man; Yes, that’s not the point - he’s a good man. Have you perhaps heard about Alexander Zolotnikov?

KUBYRKINA what? What a nonsense! My daughter is marrying Zolotnikov; They have been engaged for a long time, but now they have decided again.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA No, sir, excuse me... he immediately asked for Mashenka’s hand.

KUBYRKINA No, not Mashenka, but Katenka.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Mashenka, they tell you!

KUBYRKINA No, sir, Katenka” Your Mashenka, of course, is a sweet girl, but how can she compare with my Katenka! Although it is not very noticeable, everyone knows that she is a little lopsided.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA How? My little Mashenka is lopsided! Are your eyes lopsided? I will order her to undress in front of you. Crooked! That's great! Isn’t that why you got it because your daughter is all covered in cotton wool?

KUBYRKINA what? Is my daughter on cotton wool? I have a cotton wool cloak, not my daughter, my daughter is not a cotton wool cloak. My daughter is as she was born, and she wears a dress only for decency. She has no one to deceive.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yes, and he doesn’t deceive; Zolotnikov may not have a far-reaching mind, but he’s also not such a vulgar fool as to marry your daughter.

KUBYRKINA Why is that so?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA But because everything is known that your daughter ran after a hussar officer, who laughed at her and abandoned her; and immediately they slandered the poor orphan, who was not guilty either in soul or in body. Noble act! The hussar told it himself.

KUBYRKINA You dare to say this to me.. You! Don’t you think everyone knows that your lopsided girl is in love with an Italian singer? It’s a shame, they say, to look at her as if she’s sitting at the opera... everyone laughs!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yes, you seem to be forgetting yourself? I won't let you in.

KUBYRKINA I won’t go myself; and without you, thank God, we will find an acquaintance: General Akhlebova is better than you, and may she find pleasure with me.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA And I can’t hold back, mother, I can’t hold back!

KUBYRKINA Goodbye, mother, I’ll go get Katenka. You won't have my leg!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Good riddance!

KUBYRKINA And your daughter won’t marry our fiance... she won’t!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yours will spend time as a girl!

I won’t allow KUBYRKIN to joke with me; My uncle is a senator, I will find protection for myself! Leave quickly so that things don't get worse!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Yes, I tell you, yes I tell you, yes, this is unheard of rudeness! You can't deal with me like that! Goodbye, I won't see you again for ages!

SCENE 16.

ALEXANDER (from behind the chair) here she is! Here she is! What a thing it is! One is lopsided, the other is on cotton wool. One loves the hussars, the other the Italian,” and they say about me that I’m a fool! (running out from behind the chair) But no, I’m not a fool! I won't allow myself to be fooled. I'll do it my way! I will choose the third, that is, the first, not one or the other, but the third, that is, the first! Here it is, what a thing, here it is, here it is! (seeing Nastya) Yes, here she is! Wait, madam, let me tell you two words.

NASTYA For me?

ALEXANDER Are you angry with me?

NASTYA For what?

ALEXANDER Well, well, admit that you're angry?

NASTYA Not at all.

ALEXANDER Why! I showed you so much attention the first time, and then I took up completely unrelated subjects.

NASTYA So what!

ALEXANDER Let me ask first, do you have any relatives of the hussars?

NASTYA No.

ALEXANDER You don't sing Italian arias?

ALEXANDER What a priceless girl you are! Nastasya” as per the priest?

NASTYA Pavlovna.

ALEXANDER Nastenka! I solemnly offer my hand to you.

NASTYA Oh, my God! You are certainly not healthy! Should I send for a doctor?

ALEXANDER You will be my doctor.

NASTYA Sorry, I don’t have time” (wants to leave)

ALEXANDER (holding) No, first decide the fate of my life. Just don't be embarrassed; tell me, will you be pleased for me to marry you?

NASTYA I'm surprised how you dare talk to me like that. I'm a poor girl, but I won't allow saucy jokes.

ALEXANDER Yes, for mercy's sake, I'm not joking; I have a positive intention to marry you.

NASTYA Who told you that I shared this intention! Why did you get the idea that I would marry the first person I met? I know that in St. Petersburg rich suitors are not afraid of rejection, but for me there is much more in life besides money. There, in the living room, they were just saying that you have two million, and I confess that on this occasion I heard so much that I felt disgusted. However, it’s not difficult for you to get married, just say the word,” and brides will come running from all sides, but I don’t need a wallet, but a person whom I could love and respect. Farewell!

ALEXANDER Nastasya Pavlovna! Listen to me.

NASTYA Why? You were mistaken about me: I am not like others.” How can you understand the pride of a poor girl who, in the absence of other treasures, keeps spiritual wealth? She will not exchange her soul for luxury that she does not need; she may take pity and make you happy, because she values ​​herself highly, but she will never sell herself.

ALEXANDER So you are refusing me, Nastasya Pavlovna?

NASTYA Decisively.

ALEXANDER And you don’t give up hope?

NASTYA Not the slightest.

ALEXANDER Listen, Nastasya Pavlovna, I’m stupid, funny, impudent, ignorant - whatever you want; Only, really, I’m not a bad person. I have a tender heart; well, am I to blame; Well, believe me, I keep thinking about how to get attached, fall in love well, and then that’s it! The soul, the soul, just whispers: “Get attached, you fool, get attached,” - well, and here, as if on purpose, fate teases. Either a hussar turns up, or some Italian, and I’m a fool with money! Well, what do I need in this money, tell me yourself... Everyone wants my money, but no one wants me, me myself.

NASTYA (aside) He really is pitiful. (aloud) Look, don’t rush, maybe you’ll find it.

ALEXANDER Yes, I want you, Nastasya Pavlovna; you open my eyes. I feel like a new person; have pity on my rich position.

NASTYA I told you my decisive answer. Rest assured that I spoke to you out of conviction, and not out of empty coquetry. Do not be angry at me; this lesson may be useful to you; when you get too lost with some women, you will involuntarily remember that there are those who not only deserve, but even demand respect. (Curts down coldly and leaves.)

SCENE 17.

ALEXANDER Fucking hell! It doesn't get any easier hour by hour. Just now there were three brides, but now there are none!

ZOLOTNIKOV (at the door) Well, have you made up your mind?

ALEXANDER Wait, wait.”

ZOLOTNIKOV Who should I congratulate?

ALEXANDER Not with anyone: she refused!

ZOLOTNIKOV Who, Katenka?

ALEXANDER No.

ZOLOTNIKOV Mashenka?

ALEXANDER No!

ZOLOTNIKOV So who?

MASHA (enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what does this mean? Is it true that you proposed to Katenka? Do you want to insult me? But it won’t work out like that.” I have a brother in the Caucasus.. You won’t get rid of him. Do you hear?

ALEXANDER I really don’t understand what you want.

ZOLOTNIKOV, that's how she is!

KUBYRKINA (enters) She’s already here, but what do I care? I’ll send you out, I won’t leave you alone. Marya Petrovna, I left a handkerchief in your room. Let me get it.

MASHA (aside) How unbearable! It arrived on time! (out loud) I'll bring it now, sir.

KUBYRKINA Sorry for disturbing you! (leaves)

KATYA (enters) Alexander Vasilyevich, what did I learn? You again wanted to deceive me: you are wooing Mashenka. This is too much.” This will not be in vain for you - my second cousin will stand up for me, will fight with you with pistols, will kill you, he will certainly kill you!

ZOLOTNIKOV This one is good too.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA (enters) That’s right, she’s already hooked up with the guy: what do I care? Katerina Ivanovna, mummy is calling you.

KATYA (to the side) She came at the right time” (out loud) Where is she?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA I think she’s gone here, I’ll take you (to the side) But I won’t leave you alone.

ALEXANDER Do you hear, father, what a story it is.

ZOLOTNIKOV Shut up!

NASTYA (walking across the stage) Oh, I thought you left.

ALEXANDER No, I’m going... I’m going.” Nastasya Pavlovna, I’m in despair.

Kubyrkina, Katya, Masha, Daria Semyonovna run out of different doors and rush at Alexander, quickly and almost simultaneously.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA No, it can’t stay like this!

KUBYRKINA This must be explained!

MASHA Yes, sir, if you please tell the truth!

KATYA I have suffered enough from you!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Did you marry my Mashenka?

KUBYRKINA Are you wooing my Katya?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA I will not allow my daughter to be insulted.

KUBYRKINA And I will complain; my uncle is a senator.

KATYA Why are you widening your eyes?

MASHA Why are you standing rooted to the spot? Speak up, explain!

ZOLOTNIKOV (running out) Sasha, Sasha! Are you here? Sasha, you and I are lost! Dead! Trouble has happened! I feel bad!

ALEXANDER (with fear) Father! What happened to you?

ZOLOTNIKOV Burst! Burst!

ALEXANDER Who burst?

ZOLOTNIKOV Tambov.

ALL Tambov!

ALEXANDER What, an earthquake?

ZOLOTNIKOV That is, not Tambov, but a Tambov ransom, all the deposits were gone - after all, my entire fortune was worth two million! I received the letter. there’s only one village left, and that one is being sold under the hammer” Sasha! We have nothing more.

ALEXANDER Well, thank God! And I was so scared: I thought you had cholera! So why shout like that? You won’t have any money, but what am I going to do, what am I going to do?

NASTYA (listening) Yes, he is a noble man!

MASHA Oh, poor Katerina Ivanovna!

KATYA Oh, unfortunate Marya Petrovna!

KUBYRKINA I feel sorry for you, Vasily Petrovich, here! You could say “an unpleasant counter-dance.”

KATYA Kontrdans, mummy.

KUBYRKINA It doesn’t matter; All you have to do is humble yourself before Providence.” Your son is young; Now he will settle down and marry Marya Petrovna.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA No, your son was wooing Katerina Ivanovna; I don’t fight off suitors from her - let her live happily.

ZOLOTNIKOV Let me ask: who will marry Sasha?

MASHA Of course, not me!

KATYA And not me either!

ZOLOTNIKOV (to Nastya) Isn’t it you?

ALEXANDER No, father, she refused me even a rich man! Let's get out of here, it's time to come to my senses, the money is making my head spin, it's such a mess in my head. Now you have to be human yourself. What do you think, I’m a block, a chair, some kind of brute, I don’t feel what I owe you? You have done your best work for me, thank God, now it’s my turn. I will provide for you, I will feed you, I will go to work at anything, to the store, to day laborers, to shoemakers, to artisans, to laborers, to journalists, to writers! (To the audience) Gentlemen, does anyone have a place? Without patronage, you yourself know, it’s difficult. Do not refuse, I will justify: honest, kind, loyal, you will be satisfied! Well, let's go, father, let's be ourselves, and not an addition to our money. This lesson is worth all your wealth.

ZOLOTNIKOV Well, let's go.

NASTYA Wait, Alexander Vasilyevich, I’m to blame for you.

ALEXANDER Are you?

NASTYA I insulted you just now because I didn’t know the nobility of your feelings.

ALEXANDER Don't talk, don't talk, otherwise your heart will go upside down again; Now I don’t even dare to get married.

NASTYA And only now I can agree to your proposal; I have a lot of pride and I feel that I can replace everything that you have lost. Here's my hand.

ALEXANDER What do I hear?.. Nastenka” Nastasya Pavlovna!

ZOLOTNIKOV My daughter! Hug me” Well, hug me too, just for the last time.

KATYA How touching!

KUBYRKINA This is nonsense!

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Tell me, Vasily Petrovich, how could this misfortune happen to you?

ZOLOTNIKOV Yes, if you please see, mother, it didn’t happen, but it could only have happened.

KUBYRKINA What does this mean?

ZOLOTNIKOV And this means that last year I refused all the payoffs, and two million will go, so be it, to Nastenka’s pins. You cheated, mother, sinful man! I wanted to help out my Sasha.

NASTYA So you deceived me?

DARIA SEMYONOVNA This is out of hand!

MASHA What is Nastya like? After all, I did, I must have guessed.

KATYA knew everything in advance; however, I’m very happy!

KUBYRKINA This is like nothing else; we will not allow ourselves to be fooled; My uncle is a senator!

SERVANT guests have arrived.

DARIA SEMYONOVNA Let's go, Mashenka. We have nothing to do here. And you, mother, congratulations, craftswoman! She repaid me for my care! I got everyone through!

NASTYA I fooled everyone” They will really think “This is unbearable! No, I would rather refuse my word.

ZOLOTNIKOV Who said that the word is sacred? No, if you are afraid of all sorts of things, you won’t be able to live like that. No, let them say whatever they want, and we’ll have a merry feast and celebrate the wedding.

ALEXANDER Hurry up, father!

ZOLOTNIKOV That's the same! And you look at your wife, and knock the nonsense out of your head, and you will have joy and consolation, and not trouble from a tender heart.

ALEXANDER:

Having finished my adventures,
Now at this decisive hour,
I must ask for mercy
For the writer and us.
We are afraid that we are tired
Comfort us, gentlemen,
So that tender hearts are in trouble
It really wasn't a disaster!

So, pray tell, what should a young man, handsome, kind, and even dreaming of getting married, do?! Most likely you will answer: “Find a bride and propose marriage to her”... And you will be absolutely right. But what should a young man do, whose heart literally melts with love at the sight of every young girl?! This is where the difficulties begin: Marya Petrovna, Katerina Ivanovna, Nastasya Pavlovna... everyone was invited to marry by the unlucky hero!

The son of a wealthy tax farmer, Alexander, has arrived in St. Petersburg and is looking for a bride. There are, as they say, a ton of brides around him - but how can he choose the only one. And Alexander has such a tender heart, he likes all the girls at once. And then there’s the mother of one of the brides, Daria Semyonovna Boyarkina, courting the rich groom and his father.

And all the girls like him too. Just how to find out - they are ready to marry him, Alexander, or prefer his million-dollar inheritance. Then the father uses a trick... This is where the one and only one is located.

This is the story the audience saw on the stage of the Nogin Palace of Culture on April 15, when they came to the premiere of the performance of the folk music and drama theater “Search”, directed by Tatyana Sannikova.

Brilliant vaudeville by Vladimir Sollogub "Trouble from a Tender Heart", which has been running on the Russian theater stage for more than 150 years, once again delighted the audience with sparkling humor, a dashing plot, sharp characters, dances and songs.

Count Vladimir Aleksandrovich Sollogub (1814-1882) is a famous Russian writer, author of “secular” stories, essays, memoirs about Pushkin, Lermontov, Gogol and vaudevilles. This genre was the most beloved in Russia in the first half of the 19th century. Count Sollogub rightfully occupied one of the first places in the list of authors, and “Trouble from a Tender Heart” is his most famous vaudeville, first staged on stage in 1850. A master of the anecdotal plot, brilliantly aware of the laws of the genre, he fascinatingly develops the intrigue, and sometimes caustically, sometimes with a slight grin, ridicules human vices and weaknesses. But in the end, virtue and justice always win for him.

The performance, full of grace, charm and slyness, was shown to the audience by the Poisk Theater. Cheerful and witty, with songs, dances and gypsies (Al. Glazunova, D. Gorokhova, V. Pilipenko, V. Minenko) - he gave the audience many pleasant minutes, which they spent together with the actors A. Sannikov (Alexander), A. Tolkachev (Zolotnikov), I. Turkina (Daria Semyonovna), A. Glazunova (Masha), A. Tolkacheva (Nastenka), N. Piskareva (Kubyrkina), D. Kalinina (Katya), V. Kornyakov (Kuafer).

Photo by E. Mareshina

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