Once upon a time there lived two teenagers in one small village.
When the children were still small, their mother died, and now their father. Like this
And two brothers, two orphans, were left alone. And they didn't have
No one in the whole wide world.
The eldest of the brothers, who turned sixteen, said to the youngest,
Thirteen: “Listen, brother. We were left alone without a mother and father. So nothing
They didn’t have time to teach us anything wise. Come on, I'll go to people to study
Wisdom so that we know how to live further. In the meantime, stay home and
Wait for me".
“Okay,” the younger brother answered, “just promise me to return home soon.”
They said goodbye and the older brother left.
Days... months... years passed. And there was no news from the older brother. He
Everyone walked from one village to another. From one city to another, learning
Wisdom from people. So over time he became a lonely old sage. And walked
From village to village, no longer learning from people, but teaching them. His people are like that
They called it the Sage. Once an old sage followed the road that led him to
Native village.
“Oh, is my brother alive and where is he now?!” - thought the sage - I wandered so much
On the ground, that I didn’t even notice how quickly time flew by” - and with these thoughts
He approached his home. Knocked on the gate, impatiently
Waiting for the owners. Someone quickly walked up to the gate and opened it. It was
A gray-haired man, in whose features the wanderer immediately recognized his brother. They
The joyful ones hugged each other and entered the courtyard together.
“Sit down on the bench, brother. You can relax in the shade of this apple tree. Drink fresh
Some water, fresh from the well. Try some fruit from our garden. I'll tell you now
To my wife, that dear guests came before us, and she will prepare something for us
Delicious...."
Suddenly two amazing creatures ran out of the house with a cheerful laugh: a boy
And a girl, five or six years old. They were arguing about something and ran to their grandfather,
So that he can resolve their dispute. “Hey, guys, be more polite. What do you have there
What happened?... A dear guest has arrived to us. Come closer
Get to know each other." The children approached a safe distance and began
Considering an unfamiliar grandfather. "This is my brother, about whom I tell you a lot
I told you. So he finally returned home to teach me wisdom
Life,” said the grandfather meaningfully. The children looked at him with admiration.
They were waiting for this new grandfather to finally begin to teach their native
Grandfather of all the wisdom of life. The girl began to hurry him: “Come on,
Quickly tell me what the main wisdom you have learned.”
And the old sage began his story: “People say that a person should
Build a house, plant a tree and give birth to a son...And to accomplish this
Super-tasks, the Universe sends each person his soul mate. To
To recognize her, you just need to open your heart. And listen only to your heart. AND
You will feel an amazing, unearthly feeling - love. And this means that
You have found your soul mate, your goddess. And you will want to create for your beloved
A paradise of love. You will begin to build a house and plant a garden with your own hands. A
She will help you in everything. Then you will have children - the fruits of your love
And you will raise them with love and wisdom. All my love and wisdom
Multiplying in them. Then grandchildren will appear and you will love them even more
Wisdom. And when you are satisfied with life, you will return to joyful and peaceful
Heavenly abode, Home."
“Oh, how wise you have become, my brother. Why didn’t it take so long to return home?
I've been waiting for you for so long. I kept wanting to know how to live in wisdom. But I
Glad we're together again."
But then a boy intervened in the conversation. "We have nothing new from you, sage.
We heard. What you have now told us, our grandfather has known for a long time, and
We even know. We live by this wisdom."
The sage looked at the children, then at his brother and answered: “You know, brother. A
The boy is right. While I was wandering around the world and learning the wisdom of life from strangers
People, you received this wisdom from God and brought it to life. What about mine
Words?... Words without deeds are dead...”
, - what is the meaning of this definition?
What is the meaning of human life?
What does it take to be happy? Have you tried to answer these questions for yourself?
There is such a definition: "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son."
And many of us take this literally—they start a family and raise children. They are furnishing what they inherited from their parents or grandparents, or they are actually building or buying a house or apartment for themselves. They start a dacha or a garden where they plant and grow more than one tree. But they still happen, and very often, to be unhappy.
What is it to build a house?
Home is a place where love, kindness, understanding, mercy, help, care, tenderness, joy, and happiness live. Home is the entire space of your life. Home is your homeland. Home is everything that is sweet and dear to you, it is where you feel good.
You can also call yourself your home - a home or temple for your soul. That is, first of all, each person must become a home for the soul. So that his soul blossoms and sings, and this song of the soul pours out into the world, making it better.
What are we really doing? We build mansions for the body, do European-quality renovations, buy expensive carpets, furniture, and dishes. But this does not make our homes better - there is no warmth in them, no love. Yes, there is no time for the soul - continuous worries.
There is something to think about, isn’t it?
A - "to plant a tree"? What does this mean? Of course, and a literal tree. Each of us should take care of nature. Must love and preserve her. In their dacha or garden, everyone takes care of their own seedlings and seedlings, their own flowers and berries. He tries to water them, weed them, and remove excess dirt. And in nature, when you go on a picnic or pick mushrooms, or go fishing. How many of you pick up trash after yourself? How many of you put out the fires on which you cooked your kebab? Our forests and parks, and even just courtyard areas, have turned into a dump of garbage and dirt. And what is the use of the fact that everything at your dacha is sparkling clean, but near your entrance or house there is garbage and dirt?
But there is also another meaning "to plant a tree". This is to enable a new generation to grow and become a new tree of life, the Tree of Life. Your parents are the roots, you (family - spouses) are the trunk, your children are the branches, your grandchildren are the twigs, your great-grandchildren are the leaves. But every branch and twig, every leaf must grow its own Tree. This is how the ancestral grove grows - the clan.
What is it "create a family"? It’s not easy to meet a person, fall in love, have a wedding, give birth to a child, feed him, send him to be raised first in a nursery, kindergarten, school, college, etc. This is a very responsible work, and first of all, with yourself. Everyone must find those ways and compromises that will make communication in the family comfortable, calm and joyful, full of warmth and love. Everyone should try very hard to raise their children to be reasonable and kind.
What is really happening today? Two young people meet who do not have the correct morality in their relationship to each other, since all the media today talk about open relationships, not about morality, but about immorality. Young people do not understand and do not know what it is to love. And so-called falling in love, a sensual relationship, arises. And, these two really want to escape from the care of their parents, or one of the two is thinking about their own benefit (money, apartment, etc.), or it’s just this "last hope" start a family, or it just so happens that a new person is about to be born. This is how it is created "family". And today it is even called "marriage".
Where is the love? Where in relationships with each other is trust, understanding, kindness, desire to help, tenderness. Usually there are none. There is either attachment (habit), or any obligations (the same marriage contract), or "hold" Small children. But the attitude towards our children is purely everyday - to feed, clothe, educate on time, and the school, the institute should be responsible for education, but not ourselves, we already spend a lot of money to provide our children with textbooks, a computer, clothes, food ; " so that they don't need anything", or were "no worse than others."
Where is the love for the child? Not cooing and indulging in whims, not excessive care, but love?
Exactly Mom and dad should be the first educators and teachers. It is mom and dad who should be the first comrades and friends.
Exactly mom and dad must show their child the world he has come to. It is you who must teach your child to love.
But how can you teach to love if you don’t know how?
Love is a very deep feeling that must be kept in balance. remember, that "from love to hate one step". Hatred comes from disappointment, from unfulfilled hopes.
What have you done to make all your hopes come true, to make your dream come true?
Love needs to be cultivated. Moreover, even just respect or deep affection can grow into great love. I can tell you this for sure. I went through this myself.
But for this you need to really love yourself and see in your partner, first of all, a person who has something to love for.
This is the kind of love that lasts for many years. It's like in fairy tales: "They lived happily ever after and died on the same day".
You need to try not to change another person with your moral teachings, but to change yourself. Understand what is important in life for you and for him. Find compromises, and such that both you and your other half feel calm and comfortable. So that in your relationship there are no omissions or even small deceptions. And this is a job for two spouses.
The simplest thing is to say that he (she) himself does not want to change, that you already do so much for a calm family life, that you are already tired of adjusting and giving in.
And this is how many families live. And children in such families grow up the same way - ignorant of happiness - there was no one to learn from.
Here you go "A man must build a house, plant a tree and raise a son".
It turns out that each of us must first educate ourselves. Understand yourself. Accept yourself. Learn to love, learn to give and receive love.
It's difficult, but anyone can do it!
After all, this is precisely why we came to this earth - to learn to love..
And I’m talking about love not as a relationship or feelings for another person, but about selfless, unconditional, boundless and pure love. This is love for yourself - as the temple of the soul, this is love for the world in which you live, this is love for the people who surround you, this is love for your roots - all your ancestors, this is love for God, as the Creator of everything and everyone, this is love for the person who is your soul mate, this is love for your children, an extension of yourself, this is love for all living things.
But how to learn to Love?!
Start changing yourself: “Change yourself, and the world will change around you!”
These are not just nice words. This is a rule that each of us must follow if we want to live in a better world.
Photo gallery: 3 things a real man should do
So, 3 things a real man should do. Previously, a man had to build a house. What was meant by this? In fact, the house was then an opportunity to protect oneself from the cold and attacks of enemies. After all, a castle can also be called a home, fortified and protected from all external enemies. Indeed, a strong and good house was previously highly valued, because the more reliable the house was, the more opportunity a person had to protect himself from various weather disasters and protect himself from ill-wishers. In addition, not every person could afford to build a real home, and not a shack that would fall apart from a light blow of wind. That is why men have always tried to build a real house in order to get a good bride. After all, at all times, parents tried to marry their daughter to the most reliable young man. And a strong house was the first proof of his reliability. This meant that the man was able to independently save money and build his own home, which also proved his physical strength.
What does a strong and large mansion mean in the modern world? Well, probably about the fact that a man has the financial ability to purchase it or hire workers for construction. Nowadays, few people will build a house with their own hands. And, if this happens, then this will most likely indicate that the person does not have enough money to pay a professional team of builders. Building a house with your own hands will take more than one year, and therefore, in the modern world, a man should rather not build a house, but purchase a presentable home. This does not necessarily have to be a cottage or a mansion. Also, a beautiful spacious apartment in a good area of the city can serve as a “home”. Probably, the concept of home, in fact, has not changed much since the past. The bride's parents are still concerned about the living space of their future son-in-law. Only now they are not worried about barbarian raids and cold winters, but about the prospects of living in the same apartment with young people, which, of course, they don’t want at all, or the possibility of renting an apartment, which will not be so cheap, which will affect the future family budget of their daughter . So, we can conclude that the first thing a modern man must do is to get a living space. And let it be a gift, an inheritance, or an honestly earned apartment, the main thing is that the guy has a place to live with his future wife.
The second is to plant a tree. What did this once mean? A tree is, first of all, a tree. And if there is a harvest, it means that the family will not starve in winter. Then, by planting a tree, they meant that the young man had his own land on which he could and knew how to grow bread, vegetables and fruits. It's no secret that farming used to be one of the main professions. If a man was a good farmer, he had food in the house, and many products were sold. With the money, the guy had the opportunity to buy clothes, household utensils and firewood for the winter, so as not to freeze in a cold house.
Then it turns out that for a modern man, planting a tree means getting a good job. Now that you can buy almost everything, the main currency has become not bread, but money. And the demands of modern people are an order of magnitude higher than those of their ancestors. Therefore, in order to live well in the modern world, you need to have enough money, which, as we know, brings a promising, highly paid job. That is why modern guys must not only learn how to cultivate their plot of land well. They need to have high intelligence and receive a good education at a university, with the help of which they can find a suitable job. Also, in order to have high earnings. You must be ambitious and courageous, be able to find innovative solutions and never give up. So, to some extent, it is more difficult for modern men to follow the second rule.
And the third thing is to raise a son. This is probably the one thing that will never change. Every person wants to continue his family line, to see in his children the best qualities that he instilled in them from infancy. Of course, times change, and the methods of education also become somewhat different, but still, at the core, one thing remains - to raise your child as a worthy member of society. This is what every real man tries to do. He will never leave his offspring and will not try to evade his obligations. A real man and a real father will raise his child and will never say that he simply does not have time. Such men always managed to build houses and grow trees, but at the same time, their children were never left without a male upbringing. The upbringing of such men is strict and fair, and they undoubtedly love their children very much. For the sake of the child, such guys build the warmest and most comfortable house and grow the tallest tree. They do everything they can and even try to do the impossible.
So, 3 things that a real man should do in the modern world is to get a good living space, have a well-paid job and do everything so that his children do not need love, care and proper upbringing. If a man is able to achieve this, he will be able to be fully realized in life. But in reality, following these three rules is not so easy. It takes a lot of effort. Therefore, it is not surprising that not all men achieve such results, and therefore self-realization. But, if your boyfriend has a nice house or apartment, a job that brings him not only high income, but also joy, and, in addition, he loves children very much and is ready to invest all his soul and all his finances in them - then there really is a real one nearby a man who deserves you.
One day an active woman came to the sage and asked:
- Oh, wisest one! Heaven has revealed that the good time is approaching for me to give birth to an heir. I want to raise him to be a worthy person, a real man. I know from my father and mother that a true man is the one who builds a house, plants a tree and raises a son. Help me find out for myself, and then pass on wisdom to my son, how to do it right.
“Your mother and father told you everything correctly,” answered the sage. - And I’ll just say more precisely. The house must be built on a foundation of twelve bricks. Tree - plant only in suitable soil. And your son will raise a worthy son if you first raise a worthy mother in yourself.
The woman thought about the words of the sage, and then said:
“You said it beautifully, wise one, but I don’t understand your words.” Please explain what your words mean.
The sage smiled and answered:
- A foundation of twelve bricks is nobility. There are twelve letters in this word, and it contains twelve male virtues. These are a strong will, strong faith, honesty, kindness, freedom from baseness, a sense of justice, readiness to help those in need, the ability to be responsible for one’s words and deeds, empathy, non-judgment, the ability to forgive and respect for elders. If you help your son lay this foundation, his heart’s house will stand strong and will never fall.
- What is suitable land and wood?
- The tree is your family, which your son will continue. Teach him to look for a worthy land - a worthy Woman. And then the tree of your Family will never wither, but its roots will grow stronger.
“Thank you for your wisdom,” the woman replied. “I understood what a strong foundation and suitable land are. But what does it mean to raise a worthy mother in yourself?
“And this is the simplest and most difficult,” the sage smiled. “I can only give you one hint.” Every day pray to God with these words: “Lord, help me to be a worthy mother for my son! Help me love, not judge, him. And help me always remember that I gave birth to a son, but I am raising a man!” Do you understand?
“Thank you, wise one,” the woman sighed. “I understood everything, but I can’t understand one thing: I asked you about an earthly house, a tree and an heir, and you told me about what it is in my soul to raise my child.”
“What seeds a mother sows in her son’s heart, such fruits will his earthly deeds sprout,” the sage answered.
Oksana Akhmetova, 2013
Many people have heard more than once that a real man must do three things in his life: build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. The expression has long acquired the shade of folk wisdom, which teaches that a man during his life (at least once) must take care of nature, take care of the continuation of his family, and also provide his family with a place to live.
This phrase is often said during toasts, although it is unknown who authored this expression. This sounds like a phrase in the Talmud. It says that “a man must first build a house and plant a vineyard, and then get married” (“Sota”, 44b (93, p. 361). So the expression “build a house, plant a tree and raise a son” can be considered an interpretation of the phrase from Talmud, the meaning of which is that it is necessary to first create conditions for life, and then get a wife.
Generations of Soviet children, following the young performers, inspiredly sang the lines of the popular song: “Let there always be a mother, let there always be me.” Not everyone asked the question: “What about dad?”
In the wings
Until recently, the roles in the family were quite clearly distributed: dad works and earns money, mom also works and raises. Although fathers, of course, are different, when using the word “dad” in Soviet times, two stereotypes were common: a dad lying on the sofa with a sports newspaper or a strict one with a belt. We walked with the children, took them to sections, clubs, and went to parent-teacher meetings, most often mothers or grandmothers. The father was responsible for teaching the child order, strict upbringing, and even choosing the professional path of his son or daughter.
“Dads are becoming more responsible and want to take part in raising their children. Sometimes women earn more, and dads are there to help with the upbringing. Fathers are increasingly taking maternity leave. Now I go to parent-teacher meetings with my children and see that dads often come and actively discuss all school matters. That is, they are interested in the development of children,” says Irina Ermakova, chairman of the public organization “Large Children of the Perm Region”. – We are hosting a forum for women “Mama Bee”. While mothers were gaining new knowledge, fathers were taking care of their children. I think it's wonderful."
Modern life is blurring traditional roles, but getting used to it is not so easy. You can learn about how to be a mother - from pregnancy to raising teenagers - everywhere. But there is much less information about how to be a dad. They usually don’t prepare for the role of a father: in kindergarten and school they usually don’t talk about who dad is, focusing on mom.
Nowadays you can see brutal guys who braid their daughters’ hair and walk with their kids in playgrounds. Dads take their children to classes and clubs and generally spend more time with their children.
“If you want to be a good dad, no one will tell you how to do it. There are practically no books. There are also very few thematic sites and there is little useful information there,” says Pyotr Kravchenko, organizer of the discussion “Where is Dad?”, which was recently held at the Smart Child exhibition.
"Mama" ecosystem
Peter has two children: Arseny is three years old, Kirill will soon be one year old. The division of roles in the family is traditional: dad is mainly the breadwinner. And yet Peter tries to spend more time with his sons. Now the schedule allows me to take my three-year-old son to work, so that the child knows what the head of the family does and how he earns money. When Peter began to actively participate in raising children, he realized that he did not know much.
“I see how my wife’s communication with her girlfriends is structured. They have some kind of bird language, a whole mother ecosystem. This manifests itself in everything: they share advice, change things, etc. There are many sites and groups on social networks for mothers. But there is nothing for dads yet,” says Peter. “It so happened that my close friends and I became fathers almost simultaneously. But in our male company it is not customary to discuss issues of education. But we all wanted to become fathers, and our goal is to become good dads. But unlike women, there are no courses or books for us. For example, I am interested in many questions. On the one hand, I don’t want to crush the child with severity, on the other hand, I understand that it is necessary to form a framework for behavior. How to find balance? If earlier dads influenced the choice of profession, now this is becoming impossible. When the baby grows up, they will change significantly. Where can we look for an answer even to this question?”
It is not customary to discuss issues of education in a male company. But we all wanted to become fathers, and our goal is to become good dads. But unlike women, there are no courses or books for us.
Tenderness and responsibility
To understand who a dad is and what it means to be a good father, Peter and his friends organized a discussion. To the delight of the organizers, she gathered a lot of men. How to find a balance between work and family, what conscious fatherhood is, what are the advantages of maternity leave - they discussed all these issues.
“It is important for the future father to be aware of everything that happens to the woman he loves even during pregnancy. This should become a necessity, because even an unborn child is already part of the family. In such a situation, a man should already be interested in how he can help. If a husband takes a responsible approach to the role of a father, he must be ready to restructure his taste habits, to give up some personal needs for the sake of the needs of the family (for example, quit smoking on the balcony, go outside), says Perm journalist Roman Popov. – The one who is more comfortable goes on maternity leave. The important issue here is priority and agreements, not established norms. Even at the stage of his wife’s pregnancy, a man should consider the option that he can go on maternity leave. Traditionally, all knowledge about what happens to the child is transferred to the woman. If a pediatrician comes, he tells mom all the information about how he is feeling, and only trusts dad to bring a spoon for examination. However, it is also important for the father to be aware, he must participate in decision-making and take responsibility.”
According to Roman, a man should forget about the traditional distribution of responsibilities around the house. There is no division into men's and women's affairs.
Men say that while dads who take care of children are a rarity, they have a number of bonuses. At a minimum - touching mothers on playgrounds. One dad remembered how ladies in the children's clinic made way for him and his child, because fathers usually appear in medical institutions much less often than mothers.
The father must participate in decision making and take responsibility
The organizers of the discussion want to take the discussion of the topic of conscious fatherhood to a new level - they plan to hold a festival of dads in Perm. And in the near future, on September 30, this topic will be raised at the We-Fest festival dedicated to family issues.
Why is the law so harsh?
Commissioner for Children's Rights in the Perm Territory Pavel Mikov:
In the last three to four years, the number of complaints from fathers of children has increased significantly. Appeals most often involve disagreement with court decisions that determined the child’s place of residence after the parents’ divorce. On the one hand, the very fact of conversion and the desire of fathers to participate in the lives of their children speak of conscious parenting, and this cannot but rejoice. On the other hand, this also indicates some problems in the practice of Russian legal proceedings.
Most often, the judge makes a decision, traditional for our mentality, regarding the place of residence of the children, leaving them with their mother. According to the fathers, the judges do not take a comprehensive approach to assessing this decision. One of the latest appeals to the Commissioner indicates just this.
The man does not agree with the court's decision, which determined that after the divorce one child will live with his mother, the other with his father. However, as it turned out, the children’s mother actively professes an unconventional religion: and such moments as abandoning traditional medicine, involving the child in religious worship, changing the normal diet cannot but raise doubts about the safety of the child’s physical and spiritual development. The man is now challenging the court's decision.
Boss or friend?
Senior Lecturer at the Department of Developmental Psychology of Perm State National Research University Maxim Zubakin:
Now the perception of the father's role in the family is gradually changing. The ideas are different from those in the time of our parents. In modern society there are still no common ideas about the role of the father.
In my opinion, a fairly small segment of men still have an interest in raising children and improving their quality of life. As a rule, these are educated people with an average income, aged 30 to 45 years. I have not yet observed a widespread demand in society for discussion of this topic.
Men don't always understand what it means to be a father. The problem is that there is a certain conflict between the role of breadwinner and dad. Usually men work a lot, but their children hardly see them at home. It’s not easy to find a balance in order to both realize your potential in your profession and find time for your children.
Mixing both roles - worker and dad - is not a good idea, since they involve completely different behavior. Often a man gets used to behaving in a certain way at an enterprise and transfers the same style of communication to his family, which causes conflicts. If at work everything is very structured for a man, then the family involves much less formalization. Work obliges him to act clearly and unemotionally, while at home he is expected to show more feelings. At work there are rather narrow opportunities for expressing your individual characteristics. The family, rather, is forced to accept the father’s character in all its manifestations. If a man turns his family into a corporation and perceives his wife and children as employees of the enterprise, they resist management and begin to hide something.
Educate yourself, not your children
Dean of the Faculty of Legal and Socio-Pedagogical Education of PGSPU Venera Korobkova:
There are four categories of fathers. The first is absent parents. They either never participated in the child’s life at all, or stopped communicating with him after the divorce. The second is traditional dads. They don't interfere much in their children's lives. They believe that their task is to earn money, and upbringing is the mother’s job. The third category is active dads. They are ready to delve into the educational process and readily communicate with children. The last, and smallest, are authoritarian fathers who regulate all areas of family life. They decide everything themselves, and the mother does not have the right to vote.
The largest category is traditional dads. We usually want them to pay more attention to children, but scolding and forcing is not the answer. Schools make the situation even worse. When do dads usually get called to see the teacher? In cases where the child behaves completely badly. For a man, a child is a reason for pride, and listening to how their son or daughter is scolded, dads feel like failure. Now we propose organizing family clubs in kindergarten groups and school classes to encourage dads to participate in the lives of their children. Men can take part in hikes and meetings in nature, they can barbecue, play football with their children, and watch how other married couples—the parents of their children’s classmates—communicate.
There are much fewer active fathers - in different teams from 6 to 15%. This figure increases every year as a lot of information appears on the Internet.
I will say that it is important not so much how much time the father spends with the child and raises him, but how he behaves in the family: how he treats the child’s mother, how and how much he works. There is an English proverb: “You don’t need to raise children, they will still do what you do.” She's truthful. The father simply shows the child by example how to behave in a variety of situations.
Will protect and teach
Dad on maternity leave Sergei Galiullin:
When I found out that my wife and I were going to have a child, I began to look for a job with more money. But it didn’t work out, so I decided to be with the child. I consider it work, because raising a daughter is just as much work.
In our family, the mother works, and I look after the child. Household tasks - washing, ironing, cooking, washing floors - are performed by those who have time. I usually cook breakfast, my wife cooks dinner. She most often washes the floors, because at this time I work with my daughter. I walk with her, change diapers, my wife puts her to bed. Since I have been with my daughter since birth, we have good contact. I had to learn how to wash a child, change diapers, and clothes. Now she falls asleep worse with me, she prefers to be put to bed by her mother. But I don't see this as a problem.
I think that men should spend more time with children. A father can give his daughter and son what a mother cannot. Dad is stronger and it is he who will ride the child on his shoulders. It’s easier for dad to be a clown, a fool, at whom children will laugh kindly. But dad will protect you, teach you how to defend yourself, how to get out of conflict situations. In general, it is very important for me to be a father - to be needed, caring. I learned some household things that I couldn’t do before. I even started cooking better.
Traditional ideas about roles in the family are losing relevance. But stereotypes are very difficult to change. It seems to me that the more dads actively spend time with their children, the faster the point of view in society will change. I often see men with strollers on walks and in stores. First, dads will learn to simply be with their children, and then raise them at the proper level.
Share and educate
Mother of many children Nina Shirinkina:
In our family, my husband went on maternity leave to care for our youngest daughter. We compared salary levels and found out that it would be more profitable. I will say right away that not all our acquaintances and even close people understood us. Nevertheless, I believe that it turned out to be the right decision. We immediately clearly divided responsibilities so that both parents would take care of the baby and she would get equal attention from both dad and mom. I got up to see my daughter at night, my husband was with her morning and afternoon. In the evening I always came home from work on time to feed her, wash her and put her to sleep. The division of responsibilities in education remains with us even now. My husband is raising his sons, and I do not interfere in the process. My task is to raise girls. The husband takes all the children to the sections and plans a summer vacation. We resolve all issues of upbringing together and never interfere with the children - we make comments and give advice to each other only in private. I believe that husband and wife should be one team.
When a man spends so much time with a child, they develop a very close relationship, he begins to understand the baby as well as the mother. This is exactly the kind of communication my husband has with his daughter. But with his son, whom he did not deal with so much, there is no longer such close contact. We noticed another interesting detail and found confirmation of this in the literature - a child’s speech develops better when dad communicates with him a lot. Men have a low voice timbre, which has a positive effect on the development of the speech center in children. My daughter is now three years old, and she can already construct long sentences.
And one more thing: when a man actively participates in raising a child, his wife looks young and happy.
"Papal" rights:
For education
Caring for children and raising them is an equal right and responsibility of mothers and fathers (Article 38 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation).
If the parents live separately, the child has the right to communicate with each of them (Clause 1, Article 55 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).
A parent living separately has the right to participate in raising children. The one with whom the children live does not have the right to interfere with this communication if it does not cause harm to the physical and mental health of the child and his moral development (Clause 1 of Article 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).
For parental leave
The father, like other close relatives, has the right to go on parental leave (Article 256 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation).
At the request of the employee, the employer must provide the man with a break from work. The manager has no right to refuse. Men who are on maternity leave receive benefits. Until the child reaches the age of one and a half years, the employer pays it. The amount is 40% of average earnings.
For maternity capital
A man has the right to receive maternity capital if he is the only adoptive parent for a second child, which is confirmed by a court decision no earlier than January 1, 2007. Also, if the children’s mother died, she was deprived of parental rights, or she committed a crime that threatens life and health her children.
upbringing
The funniest
Early morning in the village, an ordinary family of mother, son and father without legs,
Early morning in the village, an ordinary family - mother, son and father without legs, which they lost in the war. The son is getting ready to hunt, takes a gun and a cartridge, then his dad crawls up to him and says:
- Son, take me hunting, I really want to!
- Dad, how can I take you, you don’t have legs, what good are you?
- And you, son, put me in a backpack behind your back, and if we suddenly see a bear, you shoot at it - you won’t hit it, you turn your back, and I’ll kill it with one shot, you know it yourself - I shoot a squirrel in the eye from 100 meters! So we’ll bring the loot home, so we’ll have something to eat in the winter.
The son thought and thought and said, “Okay, dad, let’s go.”
They are walking through the forest, the father is sitting in a backpack, and then a bear meets them. The son shoots, misses, shoots again - misses again, turns his back, dad shoots - also waves, again - misses again. The bear is already rushing at them, well, the son will give it a try, and meanwhile the father is shouting - they say, quickly, they will catch up! They've been running for an hour, they have no strength, the son understands that he and his dad won't run that far - they'll both be lost, so he decided to throw off his backpack and runs on.
He runs home all out of breath and says to his mother:
- Mother, we no longer have a father... - with tears in his eyes.
His mother calmly puts down the frying pan, turns to him and says:
- How did you fuck me with your desire, then my dad came running 10 minutes ago in his arms and said that we no longer have a son!
They invited a guy at work to a corporate party and allowed him to come
They invited a man at work to a corporate party, they allowed him to come with his wives, the corporate party was themed - a masquerade, you had to come in costumes, with masks. No sooner said than done, they got ready before going out, and his wife had a headache, she said, “Go without me, and I’ll lie down at home for now,” and she herself came up with a cunning plan - to follow the man, how he would behave at the masquerade, to pester Zinka from accounting or even get drunk. Before going out, she changed her costume, came and saw her hubby - first dancing with one, then twirling the other, guard! She decided to check how far he would go, invited him to dance, they danced and whispered in his ear: - Maybe we can retire...
They retired, did their business, and the wife quickly went home. Her husband arrived a little later, she decided to ask him:
F - Well? How do you like your corporate party?!
M - Yes, gray boredom, the men and I decided to go play poker, and before that Petrovich, our boss asked him to exchange suits, since he had dirty his, so he was lucky, can you imagine, some woman in the ass gave!
The girl invited the guy to visit, romantic, that's all. And
The girl invited the guy to visit, romantic, that's all. And at that moment his stomach began to twist, he simply had no strength to endure it anymore. They come into her apartment and the girl says:
- Come in, don’t be shy, go into the room, and now I’ll go to the bathroom and powder my nose...
It was somehow awkward for the guy to ask her ahead of her, so he decided to be patient, although he no longer had the strength to endure it. He walks into the room and looks - there’s a big dog sitting there. He took it and piled it in the room, and thinks that he will then blame everything on the dog, while he, contentedly, goes to the kitchen to drink tea.
The girl with the bath comes out and asks him:
D: Why don’t you go into the room?
P: There’s a big dog there, I’m afraid of it.
D: I found someone to be scared of, she’s plush...
P: Wow, she gave a shit like a real one!
Perestroika, collective farms are slowly dying out, everyone has gathered
Perestroika, collective farms are slowly dying out, all the animals have gathered in the barnyard and are discussing their future fate.
The bulls came out first and said: We must leave here while the hooves are still intact. The roof of the hangar is already leaking, it’s not raining, so we’re swimming like ducks. Next come the pigs: they haven’t eaten normal food for 100 years, the straw is all rotten, they give water once every three days. It’s impossible to live like this, you need to get out. All the other animals supported: Yes, yes, stop putting up with this and let’s go. One Sharik sits still, everyone asks him:
- Sharik, why are you sitting?! Come with us!
Sharik answers:
- No, I won’t go with you, I have a prospect!
Animals:
- What is the prospect? You'll die of hunger here!
Ball:
- No, guys, I have a prospect here!
Animals:
- Well, what prospects do you have here, you’ll get sick, catch fleas and die alone here!
Ball:
- No guys, I have a perspective...
Animals:
- What kind of prospect is that?!?!?!
Ball:
- I heard here that the landlady told the owner “... if things continue like this, then we’ll suck Sharik all winter...”
The son comes up to his father and asks: - Dad, what is it?
The son approaches his father and asks:
- Dad, what is virtual reality?
Dad, after thinking a little, says to his son:
- Son, to give you an answer to this question, go to your mother, grandparents, and ask them if they could sleep with an African for 1 million dollars. He approaches his mother and asks:
- Mom, could you sleep with an African for 1 million dollars?
- Well, son, it’s not a tricky matter, and we need money, of course I could!
Then he approaches his grandmother with the same question, and the grandmother answers him:
- Of course, grandson! If I had a million dollars, I would live the same number of years!!!
It’s grandfather’s turn, grandfather answers:
- Well, actually, once doesn’t count, so of course - yes, with this million we would build a house by the sea, and finally leave grandma!
The son returns to his father with the results, and the father says to him:
- You see, son, in virtual reality we have three million dollars, but in real reality - 2 simple #tuts and one faggot!
New jokes
One very elderly man came to apply for a pension
One very elderly man came to the pension office to apply for his pension:
- Sorry, girl, I should have benefits, I’m a veteran of the Battle of Kulikovo...
- Bring a certificate stating that you took part in it!
- Where will I get such a certificate for you? This was 700 years ago!
- Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know! The Tatars bring it!
A crow sits calmly on a tree, nothing foreshadows trouble,
A crow sits calmly on a tree, nothing foreshadows trouble, when he hears something floundering from below, looks, and there is a cow:
- Cow, why are you out of your mind? Where are you going?
- I want to eat an apple!
- What are you, stupid?! This is a birch!
- You yourself are a fool! I have it with me!
During the war, one Jew decided to enroll in the detachment and asked to be accepted. The commander thought for a long time and said: “Listen, usually we don’t take strangers, but we’ll make an exception for you if you complete our task. Take a pack of sheets on that table and distribute them in the city occupied by the Nazis. The deadline for completing the task is three days!” The satisfied Jew left on a mission, he’s gone for a day, gone for two, for a week, no word, no sign. The commander thinks - our soldier has probably disappeared... A month later, the Jew returns, goes to the commander, puts money from his pockets on his table and reports: “Comrade commander.” , according to your instructions, I declare that everything has been completed, there are no more leaflets, but I beg you, do not give me such tasks anymore - the goods are not popular, and the police are chasing!
On a beautiful Saturday morning, the wife is preparing scrambled eggs, unexpectedly
On a beautiful Saturday morning, a wife is preparing scrambled eggs, and suddenly her husband runs in and starts yelling:
- Be careful! Where are you pouring so little oil? More lei, more! My God, who taught you to cook?! Why did you decide to fry so many eggs at once? Too much! Now turn it over! Turn it over! TURN FASTER! Otherwise, now everything will stick and nothing will come of it! Be careful! CAREFUL! I told you to do it carefully! You always don't listen to me when you cook scrambled eggs! Are you completely crazy? Who cooks like this, who taught you to cook? And Sol? Where is the salt?! Don't forget to use SALT and PEPPER!
The wife looks at her husband in shock:
- Darling, what's wrong with you? You think I can't cook basic scrambled eggs?
The husband calmly explains:
- I just wanted to show how I feel when I’m driving our car and you’re sitting next to me!
