Seven rules for communicating with subordinates. How to Talk to an Employee Who Isn't Achieving Their Goals Secrets to Effectively Dealing with Problematic Employees

The stereotype “The boss is always right!” is firmly entrenched in the Russian mentality, and management is accustomed to communicating with subordinates in a directive manner. At the same time, everyone dreams of getting the best personnel from the labor market and retaining them for as long as possible. But it is unlikely that a highly qualified specialist will withstand such an attitude for long - he will endure a little and then leave.

This is not about slipping into the American model of behavior: when the boss “knows” the birthdays of the employee’s relatives and sends them fruit baskets for the holidays. After all, we are used to separating personal and work, and this approach is more honest. However, changing the perspective from “I’m the boss - you’re a fool” can be extremely effective.

I have developed several rules for myself in communicating with subordinates:

Speak the same language with employees

I noticed that many managers like big words that, at best, employees do not understand. At worst, they don’t even hear. If right now a sales manager is worried about how customers will perceive the new functionality and how this will affect his bonuses, then the boss’s lofty thoughts about the “mission” and “strategy” of the company will bounce off him like peas from a wall. That’s why I explain to the whole team what’s happening in the company very simply and with reference to the current moment. And not only in personal communication. Once a month I prepare a letter to employees, where I talk about innovations, the state of affairs in the company, successes and problematic issues. The main thing in such letters is not to slip into clerical language and not to speak down. The employees see that I do not live in a parallel world, but that I understand them and speak the same language as them.

Distinguish “does not hear” from “disagree”

Does the employee not complete a task because he believes the task or its solution is incorrect or simply not the best? This does not mean that he “does not hear” the boss. If such a situation arises, I am always ready to listen to arguments. After all, I too may be overlooking something. If the arguments are logical and not based on emotions, I am ready to give the employee freedom of action. But if we have two equally controversial options, I will insist on my own, simply because I believe in it more.

Convince rather than force

If an employee does not agree with my decision, and I see that his proposal is unsuccessful, then I will find time and arguments and try to convince. History has shown that even slaves work worse under pressure, let alone free people. It is almost always within the power of the manager to convince a subordinate. And in this case the work will be done better and, as a rule, faster.

Explain, but do not chew

A person must understand what he is doing and why. But this does not mean that he needs to chew everything down to the smallest detail. After all, we hire professionals and there is no point in telling them in detail how to do their job. I limit myself to a detailed description of the result I want to get. I discuss strategic nuances. But the specialist chooses the methods for solving the problem himself. A simple example: I asked the secretary to make tea for a guest, but only I know that he is allergic to mint. Therefore, it is my duty, knowing this circumstance, to point it out. Then the result will suit everyone.

Do not demand as “from yourself”

At first, I was very demanding of my employees. He asked “how are you doing?” He expressed himself in the spirit of: “What could you do here for 4 hours, here there is 20 minutes of work!” At such moments I wanted to grab onto any task and do everything myself. To prove that I can do better and better in 20 minutes than he can do in 4 hours. Then I realized that this does not motivate the employee, but turns him away from work.

Avoid being overly emotional

Excessive emotions in conversations with employees make it difficult to hear. I'm not even talking about shouting. At such moments, no one hears anyone. No dialogue is possible. Does the leader act from a position of strength? It is clear that the employee will endure so as not to lose his job. But I don't think it will last long. And even more so, it is unlikely to motivate you to work better.

In a dispute, do not press, but ask

Getting into conflict with your superiors is stressful for most employees. This is a risk of losing your job or simply ruining a good relationship with your manager. That’s why I respect specialists who are ready to argue their point of view. I noticed that if at such moments you don’t put pressure, but try to understand and ask questions, then the dispute ceases to be heated. The opponent sees that I am trying to understand his position. And I see the return return - in the form of a greater attachment of the employee to the common cause: he is more willing to look for the best options for solving business problems.

Accept that the goals of the manager and employees are different

Perhaps this thought is one of the most difficult and unpleasant for a leader. They don't come to her right away. People in the company are not motivated by your global goals: to create the most successful company in the world or to create the coolest product on the market. They are motivated to work by their personal needs. Money is the main motivator. And I convey to my team exactly what will improve in their position if specific business objectives are met. This connection: “the success of the company is the success of the employee” works more effectively than simply: “Go and do what I said!”

And finally, a few more phrases that will lead to a negative effect when communicating with employees. I think that most of them are related to the fact that the leader is trying to prove that he is smarter and stronger. Although in fact I am obliged to help my people grow, and not to show them who is boss. So, here are these phrases: “There is a task - complete it!”, “Is there something you’re not happy with? “There’s the door!”, “Prove to me that you are capable of more!”, “No need to make excuses, just go and do it!”, “I don’t have to tell you the problem, I don’t understand - your problems”, “I’m not interested in your opinion. Do what I say!”, “It’s not my problem” and much more. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to make a bad boss dictionary for these expressions.

I won’t give templates and scripts to replace these phrases with. Some use humor, some use a partnership approach, some find it easier to write a letter to a subordinate, and some put the task into a task tracker with a deadline and a clear description. Everyone has their own style, the main thing is to pull yourself in time if phrases from those listed above start to fly out.

Know Your Company CEO Claire Liu shares six ways to get employees talking and understand what they really think about you and your company

One day, about five years ago, my CEO invited me to a one-on-one conversation. The year was ending and he wanted to know what I thought the company needed to improve, whether he could improve as a leader. And he wanted to hear from me exactly what I thought. But despite his assurances that he could “handle the truth,” I couldn’t bring myself to tell him like it was.

But the truth was that I was not sure of the overall development strategy of the company. I was concerned that some staff felt they were being treated unfairly. But it seemed pointless to me to talk about it. I couldn’t imagine that the CEO would listen to me and change something in the company. On the contrary, it seemed to me that this would only cause a negative reaction. Therefore, it seemed to me that it was better to remain silent.

I will never forget this feeling when you are hiding something. You prefer to remain silent because you don’t believe in the possibility of any changes. I'll be honest: I'm not proud of my silence. Now, knowing everything about the need for feedback from the manager, I would not do this. As a CEO, I can imagine how disappointed my manager felt when I left the company a few months after this “straight talk.”

From my own experience, I am very careful about one-on-one conversations with employees in my own company. I don't want my team members to feel the way I did when I was on the other side of the table. And I don’t want to repeat the experience of my former boss, for whom the real feelings of his employees became a revelation.

And here’s what you need to do to make the one-on-one conversation as open as possible.

Make empathy your goal

Every time I have a one-on-one conversation, I have to understand how the other person is feeling. Everything else fades into the background. During the conversation, I do not criticize the employee’s performance, nor do I say that it’s time for the project to reach a new level (all this will be a separate conversation). A one-on-one conversation is an invaluable, sacred time to find out how the employee is truly feeling.

When you make empathy your mission, the entire nature of the conversation changes. You start listening more. You start asking more thoughtful questions. You view yourself as an equal to the employee, admitting that you do not have all the answers. Employees notice that you are trying to empathize with them and not just draw your own conclusions. One-on-one conversations become less intimidating for the employee. And then he will be more honest with you.

I demonstrate empathy in conversations with employees to avoid feelings of intimidation. For example, I might say, “Today I want to listen and truly understand how you feel—that’s all. This is not a performance analysis. This is a conversation for me. I need to figure out what I can do to create the best place you've ever worked."

When you openly make empathy your mission, you give employees permission to say anything they might not otherwise be able to tell you.

Ask questions that reveal two things: tension and energy

To get to the core of someone's opinion—especially about negative things—I ask questions that tap into specific moments of tension and specific moments of energy. By tense moments I mean situations where someone was angry, frustrated, bored, etc. Moments of energy are situations where someone felt inspired, enthusiastic, and motivated. Knowing which of these situations occurred can help you understand how to create more positive conditions that energize employees and how to eliminate negative ones that create tension.

When you ask someone about specific times when they felt disappointed, confused, proud, they will point to their emotions during real events rather than something ephemeral or imaginary. For example, if you ask the question “How are you?”, nine out of ten of your employees will answer “I’m fine” or give some other vague and general answer. Question “When did you feel disappointed in the past year?” refers to a specific moment, a specific situation and emotions. You force the employee to think concretely, giving him permission to talk about how he feels working in your company.

Here are some examples of questions you can ask an employee to find out what to avoid:

• When were you disappointed in the past year? What can I do to make things like this less frustrating and less disruptive to your work?
• When have you felt depressed or demoralized in the past year? What can I do to support you and reassure you that this is not an obstacle to further development?
• When have you been disappointed with a decision or direction a company has taken in the past year? Is it possible that we missed something? Where did we fail? What do you think would be the best thing to do?
• When have you been unhappy or annoyed with my actions as CEO? Why? What can I change in my behavior in the future?
• When were you bored last year? What can I do to stop you feeling this way?
• When have you been stressed or overworked in the past year? What can I do to stop you feeling this way?

Please note that when I talk about a specific point of tension, I also make sure to ask what I or the company can do in the future. This way, your frank conversation does not turn into plaintive tirades, but becomes productive, helping to find a way. This does not mean that you need to solve the problem here and now. But for yourself, you will raise the question of what measures need to be taken in the future, and begin to think constructively.

Here are some examples of questions you can ask about specific energy moments to help you know what to do more of:

• When were you excited about your work in the past year? What can I do to make it more possible for you to feel the same way?
• In the past year, when were you most proud to be a part of the company? What can I do to make you continue to be proud of this?
• When did you feel the most motivated at work? How can we create an environment where you feel this more often?
• When did you feel most “in the flow” over the past week? What can we do to give you more space and time to support this feeling?
• What did you want to learn, what skills to improve? Can the company help you with this?
• When did you feel like this company was the best place you've ever worked? How can I make it so?

If this all seems too snotty to you, and it's not really your style, you don't like to talk about emotions - I understand. Try sneaking at least one or two questions about moments of tension or energy into your next candid conversation. I guarantee that these couple of questions will shed a lot of light on the level of employee morale.

And keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with being emotional. How employees feel while working directly affects how well they perform it.

Admit what you did wrong

Sometimes when you ask employees about specific moments of tension or energy, the question itself is not enough to encourage them to open up. People are especially wary of admitting or talking about something negative, and an extra boost may be needed. Why? Because there is a certain relationship between the employees and the business owner, and you have to find a way to neutralize it.

The best way to overcome this barrier is to admit that you think you have fallen short in some areas. Use a question to show where you went wrong. For example, if you ask “What can we do better as a company?” and receive silence in response, share what you are struggling with or unsure about. "I think... it could be better... What do you think?" Or “I think I could be better at... Do you agree or disagree?” By showing vulnerability, you give the employee confidence that their feedback will not be taken negatively.

Explain why you need their help

One of the key things you can do to encourage an employee to speak up is to explain why their input is valuable. I often forget to do this myself. But when I do explain, it shows the employee that I'm not asking questions out of vanity or a desire to set boundaries. I explain how his response affects the success of the company and his own career. Professor Amy Edmondson, who coined the term 'psychological safety in the workplace', recommends making it clear that there is huge uncertainty for the future and huge interdependence. In other words, since the future is uncertain and there is still much to understand, everyone's opinion and response is important. For example, you could say something like this to your employee: “Your opinion actually matters a lot to me because we haven't yet figured out how... There's still so much we don't understand, and we need your feedback in order to solve assigned tasks."

Don't be defensive

When someone has answered your question frankly, you need to be sure not to become defensive. Defensiveness kills a culture of openness. By being defensive, you tell your employee, “I didn’t really want to hear that,” and you won’t get honest answers the next time. So when someone brings up a difficult topic, watch yourself. Are you becoming restless and defensive? Or do you listen calmly and ask thoughtful questions further? Your reaction is an indicator to them of whether they will feel comfortable having these difficult conversations in the future.

Talk less

Don't try to refute every comment your interlocutor makes. Don't make excuses about how busy you've been. Ask a short question. Listen. Take notes. Thank the employee for the message and promise to think about what he said. If you find yourself debating, stop. Remind yourself that your job is empathy. This means you need to talk less. The less you say, the greater the opportunity for the employee to tell you the truth about how he or she feels at the company.

It is not so easy. Every time I have a one-on-one conversation, I get a little nervous when I ask about moments of tension. And I always take a deep breath to avoid reacting defensively when employees respond to me.

Having honest conversations requires discipline and a certain amount of courage. And above all, it requires a true desire to know the truth. What makes me look for honest answers in these conversations every time is the belief that an objective picture of the current reality - how our business is developing, what our employees think about the company - is the only way to build a better company and become a better leader. Without knowing the truth, I'm wasting the chance to make the company better and even pushing a valuable employee to quit.

Having an honest conversation with an employee is one of the few ways to find this truth. Let us redouble our efforts to do this well.

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While most of the stresses we encounter in the office can be planned and prevented, the reactions of colleagues are an uncontrollable variable. This is especially true for such office problems as conflicts based on personal qualities and values. A few simple tips will help you survive in an atmosphere of bullying.

• Don’t let a person who systematically humiliates you “put together a coalition”: communicate with other employees as if nothing had happened.
• Some personalities hurt very deeply. If you cannot reduce the intensity of your reaction, then at least limit your contact with the offender.
• Focus on your opponent's strengths and remind yourself of his contribution to the common cause. This will relieve irritation.

3. Provocations of conflicting personalities

According to a study presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association, 5-10% of workers may suffer from a personality disorder. There are 4 main types.

The most fanatical and unpleasant of these types is conventionally called a “star.” Such people fantasize about unlimited success, believe that they know everything better than anyone, love to command and do not tolerate objections. When communicating with them, you should remain calm and respect their opinion, but still stand your ground, otherwise they will no longer take you into account.

If you need to convince such a person of something, try to speak as convincingly as possible, talk about the benefits that both this individual colleague and the entire team can receive.

4. Women's team

An office with an overwhelming number of female employees is a typical conflict-prone environment. At first glance, it may seem that the best solution is to keep to yourself. However, this, on the contrary, will turn your co-workers against you, and in the end may even lead to dismissal. Therefore, choose the golden mean. How to do it ?

• Do not share information about your personal life with anyone and do not talk about problems that are not related to solving work problems.
• Do they spread gossip and rumors around you, or do they just talk about someone behind their back? Show that you are not going to take part in such conversations. Just try to avoid unnecessary moralizing.
• Follow the dress code and do not wear too bright or provocative outfits, expensive wardrobe items, or accessories to work.
• Don’t strive to become “on the board.” This is always noticeable and only causes contempt.
• Be attentive, listen more and, in turn, do not make harsh statements about other colleagues.
• Do not disregard company rules and values. If it is customary for an organization to hold corporate parties and celebrate birthdays in the office, you should not ignore them.

5. Sloppy co-worker

Order contributes to inner peace and productivity for most people—but not all. Why is my colleague’s desk always a mess? There may be several reasons for this.

• Some people are inspired by clutter and find that it stimulates their ideas and pushes them to develop.
• Someone simply does not notice the disorder - it does not affect them in any way, they simply “don’t see it”.

Before you lash out at a colleague for being sloppy, remind yourself that there is no right or wrong way, and what one person likes may not be another's. In the end, this is his workplace, and only he can decide what it will be like.

If a colleague’s papers smoothly “crawl” onto your desk, a simple calm request not to violate boundaries will be enough.

6. Breaking friendships with a colleague

Friendships in the workplace have their pros and cons. One of the disadvantages is the feeling of awkwardness that arises when a close relationship collapses, and you have to see this person every day at work. To overcome it:

• Abstract from disagreements in the personal sphere and focus on how good your ex-comrade is in fulfilling his official duties.
• Focus on completing your job tasks.
• Try to maintain a normal professional relationship with the person you were once friends with.

7. Consequences of an office party

Joint holidays are one of the team building techniques. Research has shown that managers believe that joint holidays and outings, games and participation in social events strengthen relationships in the team, which leads to more effective work, as if integrating personal and professional life into a single whole.

But there is also a downside - the undesirable consequences of corporate events. Usually this is expressed in the stupid behavior of colleagues. But you yourself can find yourself in an awkward situation.

The best option is to control your behavior. Well, if something seemingly irreparable happens, don’t be angry.

If possible, try to make it a joke. If necessary, explain yourself to those you inadvertently offended.

Try to bring such a colleague into an open conversation to find out the reasons for this behavior. As a rule, these are misunderstandings, omissions, hidden dissatisfaction, which a person, due to character or other circumstances, does not want to express explicitly.

If you yourself experience hidden aggression towards a colleague, try to see the good sides in him. There is no need to harbor anger or resentment.

9. Blurred behavioral boundaries

Regardless of what others do or say, everyone is ultimately responsible for themselves, so it's best to keep things moderately formal.

You shouldn't say and do whatever you want at work, and at the same time, you shouldn't let other people set moral and ethical boundaries for you. What is normal for one may be completely unacceptable for another.

An effective tool for combating familiarity at work is to give your colleagues direct and immediate feedback, but without making it personal. That is, without humiliating or attacking, politely communicate what you want and what you don’t. The wording could be: “Can I ask you not to do this to me / not to say this in my presence?”

Have you ever encountered conflict situations in the workplace? How did you solve them? Tell us about your experience in the comments.

Every person can make mistakes, however, we must always strive for perfection. The author of this article talks about the main mistakes people make that interfere with a successful career and spoil the microclimate at work. By analyzing them, you can get rid of problems and move up the career ladder

A person is not an automaton, and he tends to make mistakes both in judgment and in behavior and in relationships with people around him. This applies to what is happening both in personal life and in the work team. True, people very often justify their mistakes and blunders with various reasons and circumstances and, over time, simply forget about them completely.

Mistakes are repeated, a person develops a stereotype of working behavior, and a kind of status label is assigned to him. In order to work fruitfully and feel comfortable in the office space, you need to remember the basic rules of existence in it:

1. If the office does not have a dress code, try to dress for work based on how other employees dress.

You should not wear jeans and T-shirts to a business dinner, and wear evening clothes to the office on holidays. The latest fashion in everyday attire won't necessarily help your work relationship. For women, an important rule when using cosmetics at work is moderation.

• Watch your speech at work and beyond. Uncultured speech sharply reduces the chances of career growth.

Do not use curse words in your speech - regardless of gender, this is perceived negatively, automatically reducing professionalism. Don't make dirty jokes to highlight your sense of humor. Humor is different from humor. “Vulgar” - it’s not easy to change this status at work.

• Make it a rule to remember the names and patronymics of your work colleagues.

You should not address employees on a first-name basis, especially if you are a manager. You need to behave evenly with everyone, not express either subservience to the leader or obvious superiority to the secretary or technician. Do not allow any signs of familiarity from your work colleagues to be addressed to you. Maintain subordination in work relationships.

Affairs with your boss rarely have a happy ending; More often than not, their consequence is a damaged reputation, a change of job or a broken career.

• Don't listen to or spread gossip.

To prevent rumors from spreading about you around the work premises, avoid reasons for this: do not flaunt personal experiences that can be interpreted in different ways. Try not to discuss problems and opinions over the work phone with friends, parents, your significant other, or the entire office. Keep your views on the race, national origin, and religious beliefs of your colleagues to yourself.

• We must always remember: you are not a golden piece of royal gold to please all the employees.

However, you need to adhere to your line of behavior, you need to defend your view, your point of view, having evidence of correctness. There is no need to divide the team by creating informal groups within it that act contrary to common working interests. Do not change priorities to please anyone - neither out of cowardice nor out of good intentions.

• Show initiative - don’t wait for people to notice you at work, raise your salary, or promote you.

When you do a job well done, don't belittle your achievements. Modesty is a good trait, but showing it too much is not conducive to career growth. Do not be shy about complimenting your colleagues, and do not deny that your hard work contributed to the successful completion of the task. Don’t be a lifesaver for your colleagues - don’t rush to fulfill their requests for substitution at work or additional workload. Friendship is friendship, but due to constant assignments and requests to work for “that guy,” the quality of performance of one’s own official duties may suffer. Agree to replace someone if the results for the work performed are noticed and appreciated.

• Do not strive to participate in everything, do not voice your opinions on issues that do not concern you.

However, if you can clearly and judiciously give the necessary advice, speak slowly, without digressions or unnecessary details. Don’t ignore social life, don’t miss general meetings and work meetings. Don’t look away from them, don’t look bored, always turn off your phone.

Do not load your work computer with computer games and do not use social networks during work hours. Don't make mistakes like leaving an important document in the copier after copying. Be careful when sending email: confusion in the address can have a wide range of consequences. Make it a rule to double-check addresses before sending out work.

• Learn telephone etiquette: introduce yourself and state the purpose of the call; When making incoming calls, use your first name and state your work organization.

Rudeness and sarcastic behavior when answering the phone is unacceptable.

• Don't delay completing work until the deadline.

Leave time for making edits, reconciling data and time to submit completed work.

• Don't be late for work Do not often ask management for time off for far-fetched reasons - this will easily create the impression that you are not overloaded with work.

So, you will definitely get a decent position, a good salary, if you forget the roundabout ways to success. Work!

How to find a common language with colleagues in a team and communicate correctly

In any team there can be completely different people working. Some may be friendly, others may be angry and envious. And a very important point in work is resolving the issue of how to find a common language with colleagues. It depends on whether you will happily run to work or whether work will simply be torture for you.

At the very beginning, when you just got a job, of course, there is a feeling of excitement and fear. It is very important to establish relationships with your work colleagues from the very beginning, because otherwise, amid conflicts, you may end up without a job altogether.

How to communicate correctly in a team

From the very beginning of work in a new place, you should not get too close to your colleagues, keep a certain distance. Until you understand who is who in the team, what they are like, concentrate your attention on your professional qualities, focus on them. If you cope with your responsibilities perfectly, do everything quickly and correctly, then your colleagues will definitely notice this and respect you.

It is best to participate in corporate events. In a relaxed, informal atmosphere, you can learn a lot about your colleagues. But be prepared for the fact that you will be evaluated too. The one who held your position before will certainly be compared with you; it is quite possible that the stereotype of attitude that was applied to that person will pass on to you.

When you have already worked for some time at the company, most of your colleagues will have a positive attitude towards you, because you work well and do not conflict with your colleagues. Now you can find friends with similar interests in the team. If you work well with your work colleagues, you will stay in your new place for a long time and will be happy to go to work.

When entering a new team, each person at first feels not particularly confident and comfortable. After all, everyone around you is new, unfamiliar, you don’t know what their character is, how they will perceive you. And it is very important to know how to find a common language with the team. After all, then it will be interesting to go to work. Fears in the first days of work are understandable. After all, you don’t want to seem boring, but you don’t know how to show everyone how wonderful you really are.

In order to please others, you need to follow some rules.

Rules of behavior in a team

Firstly, in order to find a common language with the team, you need to show moderate curiosity about the professional activities of your colleagues. For example, you can ask for some advice regarding work, ask for help with something. Most often, people like to talk about themselves and share their skills, teach and give instructions.

You need to be able to be helpful, but not helpful. You should not try to please everyone around you, so as not to be imbued with hostility. Also, be inquisitive without being intrusive. After all, if you constantly pester those around you with the same questions and suggestions, you will quickly bore the team and they will begin to bypass you.

You need to be friendly, but not overly familiar. Give free rein to all your charm, try to smile more often while talking with your interlocutor.

Remember that it is simply impossible to please everyone. Therefore, you should not try to adapt to everyone. Be yourself, don’t fake it, take responsibility for your work, and very soon the team will notice your positive qualities and appreciate all your skills and efforts.

If you want to be successful at work, then you have no choice but to find a common language with the team. Otherwise, you won't succeed. An employee who does not get along with the team will very soon write a letter of resignation of his own free will.

In order to be treated well in the team, you can try to establish a relationship with the team leader. If you manage to find a common language with a person who enjoys the authority and respect of this team, then very soon everyone around you will respect you.

Respect everyone around you, every person from the team, appreciate his qualities, then you will receive respect in return. When communicating with team members, be sure to use such positive qualities as goodwill and friendliness.

Communication with colleagues - how to build it?

Work is a second home. If a specialist does not establish good relationships in his home office or workshop, he will have to live in tension all weekdays. Unfortunately, many people realize this simple truth only after the first serious conflicts with colleagues arise.

Try to avoid such a mistake. Start creating a positive work environment today.

Rule one: act consciously, not according to your mood. Make for yourself a list of universal principles that should guide your business communication. if you find it difficult to remove them yourself, here is the minimum auxiliary questionnaire.

• In what cases do you think it is necessary to help a colleague?
• When should you refuse a colleague's request?
• How can you refuse a person without offending him?
• What topics are unethical to bring up in conversations at your work?
• What should you not joke about with your colleagues?
• When is frivolous behavior acceptable and when is it not?

Your detailed answers, in fact, will be the supporting principles. Write them down and re-read them sometimes.

Also, don’t be lazy to work on your mistakes: remember all the uncomfortable situations you found yourself in at work before, think about how you could prevent them or “settle them” if you knew how to go back to the past.

Rule two: remember that you do not have the right to re-educate anyone. Try to accept your colleagues as they are.

No matter how imperfect this or that partner may be, he is already an established personality with certain views and habits. Any attempt to re-educate an adult will lead to at least a hidden resentment, and at most to a full-fledged quarrel.

Rule three: no familiarity.

The temptation to switch to a friendly style of communication with colleagues is always great, but giving in to it is dangerous. By accepting your role on the board, you by default take on a host of new responsibilities. You will have to do too much “not for service, but for friendship” - do someone else’s work for nothing, run after pies, forgive things that the labor inspectorate would hardly forgive...

Be especially careful when making friends with leaders. Don't give them the opportunity to use you under the pretext of mutual assistance.

Rule four: Don’t wash your own dirty linen in public and don’t dig into someone else’s quarrel.

Alas, by being frank or accepting the revelations of others, you unwittingly multiply gossip, and the less gossip there is in a team, the more friendly it is.

This part of the site is dedicated to careers. Thoughtful articles are published here for those who want to successfully advance at work!

Communication with colleagues: golden rules of communication, emergence and resolution of conflicts

Work is the place where a person spends a huge part of his life. Conflicts will not bypass you, whether you are teachers or carpenters. In one word, you can make friends, but you can also make enemies. At the same time, the enemy in the person of the authorities is sometimes less terrible than the enemy colleague. Therefore, it is very important that communication with colleagues brings positive emotions to both you and them.

The first step is to remember a few unbreakable rules of conduct in the workplace.

1. A good mood is the key to easy communication. If you got up on the wrong foot in the morning, you shouldn’t show it at work and take your bad mood out on your colleagues. Positive people are always worth their weight in gold in the gray walls of an office; you rarely want to start conflicts with them.

1. Many people, not knowing what to talk about with their co-workers, start gossiping - this is a bad decision. Gossip often consists of exaggerations and lies, which leads to mistrust among colleagues and negativity. It’s better to ask how things are going with the new project, find out if you need help, and share your opinion.

1. Don’t try to make the whole team fall in love with you at once: it’s impossible for everyone to like you. Just do your job conscientiously, and people, noting your positive qualities, will be drawn to you.

When you see people every day, it’s impossible to avoid conflicts, especially if you have a working relationship. When it comes to a conflict situation, three sequential questions arise: how to avoid conflict, how not to aggravate the situation and how to end a quarrel without consequences.

• Under no circumstances should you raise your voice. Even in kindergarten they teach that screaming cannot solve anything, but only “adds fuel to the fire.” If emotions are rushing out and there is no way to contain them, it is better to leave the place of the “battle” under some pretext and return to the conversation after a while with a cool head. This will benefit both you and your opponent. It is best to continue the conversation in an informal setting, where nothing will remind you of the subject of the quarrel.
• You always need to clarify contradictions one on one, without witnesses or outsiders.
• In any situation, one must not forget about etiquette and resort to personal insults.

• Having entered into a conflict with a colleague, you should not run to your superiors for help. In such a situation, you will appear to everyone as a weak and childish person who cannot cope with problems on his own and hides behind “parents.”
• When there is a conflict between colleagues, it is always important to hear the arguments of the other side. Perhaps you just don’t understand each other and want the same thing.
• There is no need to tell other colleagues about the conflict and throw mud at your opponent. After all, walls have ears too.

• The most important thing is to listen to your colleague and find a compromise. As a last resort, this can be done under the guidance of an impartial third party.
• If you couldn’t restrain yourself and got personal, then you always need to find the strength within yourself and apologize. Explain your behavior with excessive emotionality.
• After closing the topic of conflict, never return to it again. Remembering again and again about your arguments at that time, you can cause a wave of aggression towards yourself.
• Focus on a common goal - moving in one direction helps to forget old contradictions.

In any place (especially if you spend a lot of time there) you need someone with whom you can escape from pressing issues and just chat. Therefore, at work, not business, but friendly, easy communication is highly valued. It is important here to separate personal and work relationships, otherwise you may be bullied with requests for help, etc.

When you have to release a subordinate from the obligation to cooperate not on his personal initiative, he is guaranteed a number of unpleasant emotions. If the employer's decision hurts the self-esteem of the fired person, this threatens with hidden grievances that could damage the company in the future. Don’t want to be at risk of having to litigate the legality of your dismissal in court? And unpleasant reviews about the enterprise, spread by the offended, can damage the image.

It is also not easy for an employer to decide with his power to radically change a person’s fate, especially if this happens for the first time. But when dismissal cannot be avoided, it is better to carry it out as correctly as possible.

Evaluation of sheepskin and dressing

Any leader, before pointing to the door, must ask himself the question: is it possible to avoid separation? You must first evaluate the reasons that prompted you to make a fatal decision and try to find minimally costly ways to solve them, allowing you to avoid dismissal.

1. Regular violations of labor discipline. Being late, leaving work early, appearing in an unacceptable state (for example, after drinking libations) naturally irritates the employer and negatively affects the quality of work. But even the Labor Code does not consider 1-2 such facts to be a justified reason for dismissal; first, it is proposed to use other measures of influence. The exception is truancy, but even in the case of this gross violation it is not necessary to immediately apply extreme measures. Perhaps it would be more effective to publicly reprimand the offender with a warning of future consequences. Most likely, after a reprimand in front of witnesses, the “candidate for freedom” will note that the employer is aware of his sins and does not intend to let them go. In this case. He may well “come to his senses” and will not be lost as an employee.
2. Position mismatch. If an employee fails to cope with responsibilities, the reason may be a lack of awareness or practical experience. You can offer an internship with a skilled partner or advanced training courses. The employee you trained will be more grateful and loyal “cadre” than a recognized professional from the outside.
3. Personal motives. When an employee “does not fit into the team” or cannot get along with his superiors, it is not always his fault. The dismissal of a professional for this reason (the wording “agreement of the parties” will cover up the true motive) can cast a shadow on the manager himself, “a tyrant who does not value personnel.” If you really have to break up, it is better to actually reach the declared “agreement”, and do it respectfully.

Unconditional reasons

There are circumstances when parting with an employee is really necessary and it is better not to postpone it. Without regret, point to the door:

• divulging official secrets and classified information;
• someone who simultaneously cooperates with competitors;
• who wastes company money;
• allowing gross violations in work that could cause trouble for the offender himself and/or those around him.

With regret, but without fail we have to say goodbye:

• with employees whose employment contract is not going to be renewed for one reason or another;
• with abbreviated ones;
• with all employees upon liquidation of the company.

IMPORTANT! When dismissing an employee for unacceptable actions, it is worth taking care of moderate publicity: this will serve as a lesson to other employees and warn other employers about unreliable personnel. In all other cases, the “velvet” option is preferable.

Mistakes during dismissal

When the moment comes for a decisive conversation, do not make psychological mistakes, which, alas, are quite common in organizations during dismissal.

Mistake 1. “Not me”

To avoid a painful scene, the manager asks the secretary or another subordinate to tell this news. At the same time, the “messenger with bad news” can neither answer questions nor prove that the decision was actually made by management. He only takes the blow on himself, receiving undeserved negativity. As a last resort, the participation of a personnel officer is acceptable, but still, dismissal, like hiring, is the responsibility of the manager.

Error 2. “Have you heard everything? He's fired!

Sometimes employers prefer to announce dismissal in the presence of third parties in order to smooth out the outburst of emotions and obtain witnesses. This puts the person being fired even more in an awkward position, humiliating him in front of strangers. It is correct to conduct all unpleasant conversations one-on-one.

Mistake 3. “Two days alone with pain”

It is better not to present difficult news before the weekend, ruining it for the person being fired; it is more productive to do it at the beginning of the week. Then the employee will have the opportunity to immediately plan for future employment, he can begin to act immediately, which alleviates stress.

Mistake 4. “Long foreplay”

You can briefly thank the person for their cooperation, a slight apology is not forbidden, but you should not “cut the tail in parts”, stretching the procedure for longer than 15-20 minutes. The person being fired is especially annoyed by the long praises before the announcement. That the company no longer needs him.

"Contactless" dismissal

Rather than shocking an employee with unexpected news, you can create a specially predicted situation that pushes the employee to think about quitting:

• outplacement: services for active employment of an employee even before his dismissal (recommendations to other employers, distribution of his resume, etc.);
• "silk fetters": an employee is given a task doomed to futility (after a while, the inappropriate project is closed, and the employee finds himself gently removed from the company’s affairs);
• "anti-poaching": the dismissed person is offered a new position, having secured the consent of another employer, who allegedly assessed the promising employee;
• insulation: the employee is gradually pushed away from the social life of the company, and he himself understands that he has become “superfluous”;
• "ruble whip": allowances are removed, the next bonus is not paid, the paid workload is reduced or the unpaid workload is increased - and, most likely, the employee will soon quit;
• gossip: if a person “accidentally” finds out in advance that his position will be reduced in the future, he will have the opportunity to look for a new job in advance, and he will not be dumbfounded by the unexpected “freedom.”

The perfect dismissal

1. Prepare the soil: use one of the above methods.
2. On Monday or Tuesday, invite the employee to your office and offer to sit down.
3. Show respect: in two or three sentences, highlight the positive aspects of the employee and celebrate his successes. Don't be verbose, otherwise he will decide that the dismissal is unfair.
4. Briefly state why the company will no longer do business with him. If possible, do not focus on the employee’s guilt, because in the case of, for example, layoffs, there is practically no guilt. If someone who is truly guilty is fired, then he already knows why and for what (after all, you warned him in advance, see above). Instead of “it’s my own fault,” try using “thank you.”
5. Give the opportunity to respond to the message. Answer questions if any arise. Treat a possible outburst of emotions calmly. Listen to accusations or pleas and calmly respond when the flow dries up: “I’m sorry, but the decision has already been made.”
6. After a short pause, express confidence that the employee will be able to realize himself in conditions that are more suitable for him: his skills will definitely be appreciated in another company. If appropriate, you can add that the employee has “outgrown” the framework of this organization, and dismissal for him is a new start for the next round of his career.
7. Discuss the amount of severance pay and other nuances of dismissal.
8. Finally, here are some tips for getting a new job. Re-emphasize the employee's strengths. If there is another employer in mind with a suitable vacancy, promise a good recommendation.

The entire conversation should not take more than 20 minutes.

To summarize, we can conclude that if the employer has time to wait and does not want to say “You are fired” to the employee’s face, then you can try to use contactless dismissal, unobtrusively creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for him. Otherwise, you need to muster up the courage, if necessary, and, taking into account the tips listed above, inform the employee that he is free.