Good and bad masons are similar in one thing - they both lay conscientiously.
The beginning of the year in the office is brutal. There is so much work that at the end of the day you confuse diamonds and worms.
Work ennobles a person, and idleness makes him happy.
You won’t earn all the money—you’ll have to steal some.
If you are truly smarter than your boss, he will never know about it.
In that cave on chains. The coffin is swinging from gold - Your salary is in that coffin!
Work drives away three great evils from us: boredom, vice and need.
If you don't know how to use a mouse, use a shovel.
Smile: you are being removed!... from your position.
You come to your boss with your opinion, you leave with his opinion.
Doing nonsense in the workplace develops peripheral vision, hearing and alertness in general.
The Russian people are the most hardworking in the world! Only they are able to relax in the country with a hoe in their hands after hard work!
The only person in my office who can say to the director's face, "Get up and get out of here!" - it's the cleaning lady! Well done grandma!
In an interesting job you see interesting dreams.
Real men don't cry to their bosses in their vests, they blow their noses there!
It’s not enough to find your place in life, you have to find it first.
Anyone who gets up early hasn't been laid off yet...
Labor disfigures a woman.
I still have willpower! I want to work, but I won’t!
They say that a stingy man pays twice - I want to work for a stingy man!
Never before has a person been so close to perfection as when writing a resume!
I wrote my resume. I printed it out. I re-read it. I burst into tears. What a wonderful person I am!
To work normally, click the cross in the upper right corner now.
A watchman at the Adrenaline Rush plant works a week/day.
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Good day dear friends! Each of us had the opportunity to work in many jobs to earn a living, providing for loved ones, relatives and, of course, ourselves! As a rule, from Monday to Friday, we are in our assigned places. We spend our time, our energy, our youth to achieve certain goals and realize ourselves in life. It happens that we are so tired that we come home without any second thoughts and simply fall on the sofa, dreaming of beautiful and carefree dreams. Sometimes the time comes for a well-deserved rest, and we go on vacation and spend time there so that mom doesn’t worry. And rightly so, because that’s what rest is for, so that we can throw out all the negativity that has stuck with us at work. It happens that on Friday evening you drag your tired body home and want to immerse yourself in something light, easy to understand... that’s why we’ve collected funny statuses about work in one collection just for you. We wish you high productivity and good mood. Good luck.
A collection of funny statuses and aphorisms about work.
I came to work to work. And not answer stupid questions - why am I sleeping here drunk...
On a working day, nothing brightens up the dial like the number 18.
While making her career, she was merciless - she went over heads (sometimes over heads).
I wrote my resume... I printed it out... I re-read it... I burst into tears... It’s a pity to hire such a person
Laziness is a natural human state. Those who cannot maintain this state work.
I'm sitting here, working. It’s strange - that’s why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left?
Favorite phrase of the authorities: “THERE ARE NO IRREPLACEABLE PEOPLE!” But as soon as it’s your turn to go on vacation, everything’s fucked up - you’re the only one!
ICQ is a flower on the grave of working time!
How hard it is to work when there is no boss... I don’t even go to smoke... I’m afraid I’ll go home!
How strange... Sometimes, in order for people to appreciate you, it’s enough just to leave...
It happens that one day in the morning you create a kind of vigorous activity, and then you get carried away and work all day...
I can’t stand while others are working…. I'll go lie down...
Usually, when I get completely annoyed with calls at work, I say: “Fuck you” - and pick up the phone. Today I mixed up the order...
I love going to work! And from work! But these 8 hours between walking are simply infuriating!
Previously, the Internet distracted from work, now work distracts from the Internet...
We worked and worked and worked and worked here for five minutes. Then we quickly rested for an hour.
Then, again for five minutes they worked and worked...
Doing nonsense in the workplace develops peripheral vision, hearing and alertness in general.
If you don't work, you have nothing to live on. If you work, you have no time to live!
The boss went completely wild, he wanted us to work for three. (It’s good that there were five of us!)
I study and work. I combine the unpleasant with the useless.
Leave me alone, work. I am sad…
If I go to work early, I'll catch her by surprise!
If you have no idea what kind of crap you're doing, call it analytical work.
If you're reading this, it means you don't have anything to do
The very first skill that a newbie in the office has to learn is to sleep with his eyes open.
Today I realized that I work as a musketeer - one for all!
Most of all, we get tired of unfinished work.
Choose a job you like, and you will never have to work a single day in your life
At work, all we talk about is sex! If there is ONLY talk anymore, I’ll quit!
I devoted myself to work. Not for love... For money...
Still, work gave me a lot. Before I had nothing, but now I have nothing and a twitching eye.
As soon as you sit down to work, someone will definitely wake you up...
From workaholic to alcoholic - five days.
A working day without a “couple of affectionate words” addressed to management is considered incomplete.
An experienced boss can tell by the sound of the keyboard what his subordinate is playing.
There is such a profession - sitting at work...
I leave work gradually... starting with lunch.
This is our way of coming to work without regaining consciousness.
What a bummer it is - to oversleep, but still not get enough sleep
I WANT A JOB!!! NO MONDAY!!! WITHOUT A BOSS!!! NO ALARM!!!
The work is not a wolf, but it’s still a bitch!!!
If walking the streets in blankets were traditional, getting up in the morning and going to work would be much easier.
And the more dubious the company, the more CEO
You're sitting at work on Odnoklassniki, suddenly you hear your boss's steps behind you and you start abruptly switching tabs: Twitter, Facebook, kittens, flowers, dating, swimsuits... WHERE IS THE WORK?!
I have never wanted to work as much in my life as I don’t want to work now!..
I WANT A JOB LIKE SANTA'S CLAUS.....IN A DAY IN 364
I want to go home! That's basically all I do at work
The last stage of being overwhelmed at work from idleness: - So, sir.... Spam..... let's read.....
I prefer intellectual work to dull physical work.
All our employees in our department are promising. It's just that some people's prospects are not bright...
And our boss is a man of his word. And this word is redneck
Work is so exciting... I can literally sit for hours and watch someone work!
Work ennobles a person and enriches the employer
I love my job very much, but not in such quantities. In general, it’s difficult to love something almost around the clock.
Smile: you are being removed!... from your position
The hardest job is on the socks. They really are on their feet all day.
I thought I wanted career growth, but it turned out that I just wanted money...
After what work did to me this week, she simply has to marry me...
Work is not a wolf... but, damn it, the boss is a wolf!
Yesterday I was looking for justice! Today I'm looking for a new job...
Keeping something a secret is a very difficult job for a woman, so they prefer to do it together with their girlfriends.
Selfishness is a great force. Only he is able to force a person to devote himself entirely to work in order to achieve pleasure, while it is not at all necessary that he has ever experienced it.
Admit it honestly: surely everyone in their life has drawn a heart at least once by breathing on cold glass?
If you don't want to leave the house in the morning, read Forbes... Didn't find any articles about yourself? Then run to work, damn it!
Best status:
By doing anything in the workplace other than work, you develop attention and peripheral vision!
Fire, water and people busy at work - this is a magnificent sight! I could look at this all my life!
Only a small part of people can afford not to go to work in the morning! If Forbes magazine doesn't write about you, then you're not one of them, so don't fucking sleep until lunch!
If you don't raise my salary, you'll force me to look for more work! For example, I can write memoirs about our relationship with YOU!
- When will the money be available? – They promised November 31st. - Very shitty! - Well, they won’t succeed before. – Yes, it’s not a matter of earlier or later. November has 30 days!
Work, work, go to Fedot, from Fedot to Yakov, from Yakov to everyone. Salary, salary come from Kondrat, come from Yakov, come from everyone...
Going to work means money.
Don't @beat my brains out! It won’t work - I’m wearing a helmet!!!
The working day is divided into “before lunch” and “before leaving”.
I know what falling in love is: a dream without nightmares, tender kisses, a magical mood around the clock, abandoned work, forgotten affairs, light ahead of the tunnel and exercise in the morning...
The longest end is at the working day.
Why work if you have no time to rest?
If you quit, what will you live on? If you work, then when will you live?
The street is the path from the home computer to the work one.
If the boss comes up with a brilliant idea, then someone will spend the whole day doing crap.
Even an engineer can't work without a plan!
I love work. Work captivates me. I can sit for hours and watch how they work.
The socks have the hardest job... They really are on their feet all day!
It used to be like this…morning, sun, joy, you, evening, dreams, night, stars, dreams….now only…morning, fog, work, coffee, sadness….night, dreams…and no dreams….
Everything that is not made is done in China =)
The more expensive the purchases, the cheaper the fate! (“Men’s work”)
In the store: Do you have black paint? - Eat. – What color??
Work is work, go to Fedot: washing for Irka, ironing for Masha, cooking for Vovka, and I get a trip to the sea!
Lunch break in our office is the turning point of the day. No one works before lunch, and after lunch everyone rests.
Wallpaper must be glued without bubbles - Article 1 of the Constitution of Moldova...
On a working day, nothing brightens up the dial like the number 18.
waiting for Monday is harder for me than Monday itself
I’ll get rid of my work colleagues, quickly, not expensively…. Do not offer humane methods!
Heaven is that place on earth where there are no alarm clocks, Mondays and bosses.
Work...don't be afraid...I won't touch you!
Don't interfere! Work break!
The main thing is not work... The main thing is participation.
If work means health, then let the sick work.
We all work according to the Robinson Crusoe method - we are waiting for Friday!
For a horseshoe to bring happiness, you have to work hard like a horse.
I do not join any organizations that make me a member
it's time to go on vacation...yesterday I dreamed that salaries were given in pieces of paper for 512 rubles
Yesterday I was looking for justice - today I’m looking for a job.
We know our worth well. It is always higher than our salary!
“It doesn’t annoy you when you wash dishes and the spoon gets caught in the stream... now it’s clear why they wear an apron..=))”
I came home from work, I see there is dust all around... Give me, I think... and I’ll lie down.
Let the iron saw work, my mother did not give birth to me to work.
They pay a lot of money at work, but working on it, I don’t mind the first, but without the second, I have more fun!
Do you want to avoid oversleeping for work in the morning? Eat watermelon before bed.
I love work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at her for hours.
Work is not money...it never ends!!!
The bosses don’t reduce salaries - they remind you that money doesn’t buy you happiness!
Morning is that part of the day when you envy the unemployed...
Monday is a rest after the weekend... Tuesday is preparation for the working day..
Shouldn’t I go to work, I thought. And he didn’t go.
the director returned from vacation tanned... and now he looks even more like shit
Science news: everything is a bunch in the collider
The best excuse for being late to the boss: “I popped into church to pray for you...”
True happiness is when you fall out of a 3rd floor window onto a pile of bricks and get away with a couple of bruises and scratches. This happened to me the day before yesterday. I'm Lucky and I'm alive!!!
Don't swear at the boss
Tomorrow I’ll get up early, have lunch and finish everything...
Damn, I haven’t worked in the office for so long that I forgot how to lay out the “kerchief”.
The end of the work week is an orgasm, albeit a small one!
Biology lesson 9th grade, 2010. Teacher: - This is how insects enter into sexual contact. Pupils: - OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK
Flight attendants are lucky! Just think: a job where men are sorted into classes!
I bet that you are now sitting in front of the computer and reading my status
Folks, my room is heated more by the computer than by the heater =))
It's awfully hard work to do nothing.
Healthy sleep not only prolongs life, but also reduces working hours.
Loneliness is when you even want to go to work.
I study and work. I combine the unpleasant with the useless.
Waiting for your call is the hardest job in the world...
Better a small DOLLAR than a big THANK YOU))
I am a serious person, the only funny thing is my salary!
It's scary to work when the boss isn't around. I can’t even go out to smoke, I’m afraid to go home!
I work, I work, I’m not afraid of work, if my right side gets tired, I’ll turn to my left!
It would be better if work were a wolf and went to the forest from here
After sex, Moldovans turn to the wall and plaster.
Propisdon is the best remedy for increasing work activity!
If you put off until the day after tomorrow what you can do today, you will have two free days.
The hardest job is looking busy when you're not.
If you don’t feel like working for the third day in a row, then today is Wednesday.
Work is so exciting... I can literally sit for hours and watch someone work!
I’m sitting in a helmet, what if…
I worked hard today, and realized that today was Friday only when at 4 o’clock, shouting “Whoever is last is a sucker!” The director ran away.
The boss wants us to work for three people. It's good that there are five of us.
The lazier a person is, the more his work resembles a feat.
I’m sitting here, working. It’s strange - that’s why a 5-kopeck coin fits into the right nostril, but not into the left?
A teacher was walking through the forest... releasing H2S :))
Someone secured the polyethylene with pimples and the work was covered for the whole day...
Work from the heart, sit and scratch.
And he lived happily ever after... until he went to work
It seems to me that the boss looks at me and thinks: “This device can work faster.”
Leave me alone, work. I am sad…
I am considered a multi-armed shiva, but I am paid like a one-legged macaque.
If you don’t feel like working for the third day in a row, then today is Wednesday.
A well-fixed patient does not require anesthesia
You go to the accounting department - no one... You go to Odnoklassniki - oops... Accounting!!!
The 9th 8-hour working day of the 5-day working week began at 9.00 and ended at 00.45...
Crap! When I tried to work, the Internet was detected again!
girl’s opinion:_ “Almost all men lack vitamins E, B, A, T, C, A”
In the morning I want to sleep so much that I don’t want to live!!!
Time for fun, time for work. Here it comes ((
I still have willpower! I want to work, but I won’t!
Filming of the sequel to the film “Heat”, entitled: “Cold”, was postponed due to sudden and prolonged warming.
Champagne, sea, men... Oh, what am I talking about??? Work work work…
The work of a system administrator is similar to the work of a scout - successes are unnoticeable, but everyone knows about failures xD
That job is good... where there is Internet...
Ass in soap, face in mud - we work on a VAZ!!!
We know our worth well. And it is always higher than our salary!!!
How hard it is to work when there is no boss. I don’t even go smoking, I’m afraid I’ll go home!!!
Sometimes you wake up like a bird, with a winged spring on edge. And I want to live and work, but by breakfast it goes away.
I work part time, so please shout at me in a low voice!
There are a lot of thoughts in my head, but there is no will in life. Just home, work and a little pain...
Even an engineer cannot work without a plan...
when leaving work...try not to run!! =))
If I had 2 dicks, I would put both of them to work.
Work is what a person is obliged to do, but Play is what he is not obliged to do. Therefore, making artificial flowers or carrying water in a sieve is work, but knocking down skittles or climbing Mont Blanc is fun.
There are two cases where you don’t want to go to work on Monday: if you didn’t have time to rest well over the weekend, and if you had time to rest well over the weekend.
A person must work, work hard, no matter who he is, and in this alone lies the meaning and purpose of his life, his happiness, his delight.
Vacation is a short period of time given by the employer to remind you that you can do just fine without you.
Nowadays, the reputation of a “master of golden hands” presupposes, first of all, the ability to work efficiently with elbows.
You must put your life in such conditions that work is necessary. Without work there cannot be a pure and joyful life.
The more a subordinate talks about the tasks completed over the past day, the faster the boss forgets why he called him.
A person must have a good family to take a break from work. And a good mother-in-law so that you can go to this job with joy...
When an employer is looking for a wizard, most often he finds a storyteller.
For a workaholic, the “appetite” comes while working.
Outstanding personalities are formed not through beautiful speeches, but through their own work and its results.
In a conversation with your superiors, it is important to agree with reason that you are wrong.
Man is born to work; labor constitutes his earthly happiness, labor is the best guardian of human morality, and labor should be a person’s educator.
All over the world they work in such a way as to deserve a bonus. And only we work in such a way that it is not deprived of it.
He worked tirelessly, throwing money away.
It's amazing how important your job is when you need to take time off from it, and how unimportant it is when you ask for a raise.
There is nothing more slavish than luxury and bliss, and nothing more royal than labor.
It works well when you love your profession and are passionate about it.
A boss without a subordinate is like an incentive without encouragement.
Work is not a horse, so there is no point in plowing on it.
Any worker begins to lose his touch five years before reaching retirement age, no matter what that age is.
When the boss has nothing to do, his subordinates immediately have many problems.
Don't get along in the team!? Become a boss, then the team will have to get along with you!
Some are drawn to entrepreneurship, others to the podium, and others to vodka. But they all have to pull the burden.
To earn a living, you have to work. But to get rich, you need to come up with something else.
In a critical situation, the Russian mat “works” wonders.
Often, by the appearance of the employer, it seems that he wants you to buy your salary from him.
It’s better to be at work 20 minutes later than to be in the morgue 20 years earlier.
When all you think about is how to make money, it’s hard work. Little by little, without noticing it, a person loses himself.
Ironing boards are snowboards who gave up their dreams and found a “normal” job.”
In bureaucratic language, an acceptable level of unemployment means that “they won’t throw us out onto the street,” and an “acceptable budget” means that “some people will have a hard time, but not us.”
Ways to improve the performance of an organization are decided by its employees at a corporate party, after the third pile, mostly men.
It's hard to love your job if your salary hates you.
An attack of laziness is a crime!
When one smart person joins a company, another soon appears - talented people love to work among their peers.
All over the world they work in such a way as to deserve a bonus. And only we work in such a way that it is not deprived of it.
Allergy to work is treated by increasing the dose of salary.
The smallest wheels spin the most.
First you work for a student, and then nowhere.
Talent is a person in his place.
The best statuses about work on Statuses-Tut.ru. People have been scaring us with this word since school. If you want to live in abundance, have an apartment, a car, a bank account, fly to Rome or London on vacation, you need to find a well-paid job. And for this you need to graduate from school and college with excellent marks and meet the right people. But when you are fourteen years old and the world around you is beckoning with uncertainty, even the thought of a future job does not arise. And then the parents begin to intimidate, saying that if you don’t study, you will become a janitor or a dishwasher, you will live in a dormitory, and spend your vacation at a dacha a hundred kilometers from the city. So it turns out that after graduating from college, young people feel the fear of the unknown in front of this nightmare “Work”! If your ancestors told you something similar when you were a child, on Statuses-Tut.ru you can find cool statuses about work for your pages on social networks. After all, the most important thing in life is not to lose your sense of humor! After all, any work is good if it gives you moral and material pleasure!
