Why I don’t like selfies or how to teach your girlfriend to take good pictures.

Psychologists tend to view selfies as a kind of social and cultural phenomenon. “First of all, young, successful, beautiful, smiling people like to take pictures of themselves,” says Eka Kadagidze, psychologist, gestalt therapist. “And knowing this, we often take photographs to present ourselves as such. As a rule, on similar photos a person strives to embellish his reality in front of himself and others.”

Experts say that reading a person from a selfie is only possible with great reserve and in a very simplified way. And even more so, one should not make hasty conclusions about the splitting of a person’s consciousness or his desire to show part of the truth when he photographs only fragments of himself - legs, wrists, mouth...

And yet our selfies tell us something about us. What happens in the lives of those who like to photograph themselves?

Selfie as a way of communication

“Rather, here you need to think about the fact that every post on a social network has a more or less specific addressee,” says Eka Kadagidze. “And you can try to figure out for whom you want to look sporty, for whom you want to look carefree and loved, and for whom you want to look bohemian and unpredictable."

There is nothing wrong if a person gets an emotional boost through a selfie. It’s another matter when their publication largely replaces or complicates real communication. “I was approached by clients who found it easier to show a selfie or correspondence than to talk about a particular situation, their feelings and experiences,” explains Eka Kadagidze. “This is one of the manifestations of psychological disorders that cannot be ignored.”

Broadcast your ideal image

Verified uniform poses, angles, facial expressions, surroundings - if the selfies in the profile do not shine with variety, then this is exactly the ideal “look” with which a person associates himself. A selfie with friends - I’m the life of the party, in front of the kitchen with a baby - I’m the ideal housewife, in the gym with dumbbells - I’m an experienced athlete. “We all try to play certain roles that are beneficial to us in a given situation,” says Anna Sukhova, psychologist, coach, NLP specialist, author of the “Your Psychologist” project. — Selfie is one of the attributes for creating the right impression. Knowing what is popular helps us create a successful self-presentation.”

Reflection of personal characteristics

In popular psychology, it is generally accepted that selfies are taken by narcissists who count on admiration, or by demonstrative hysterics who need attention. To some extent this is true. “People with a tendency to narcissize are prone to taking selfies,” adds Anna Sukhova. - These are extroverts (focused on external world), usually dependent on the assessments of others, other people’s opinions.”

Often, with the help of a selfie, a person captures his day in every detail: I woke up, washed my face, had breakfast, went to work... In this case, we can talk about a violation of self-identification - a lack of a sense of one’s own uniqueness, originality. “The selfie is becoming an analogue of reflection in the mirror for those who want to examine themselves from the outside,” says Anna Bokova, Gestalt therapist, psychologist. — Residents of megacities especially love “crossbows.” For major cities characterized by an accelerated pace of life, crowds of people around, competition and lack of attention to detail. A selfie fixes a person in time and gives him the opportunity to take a closer look at himself.”

The desire for self-knowledge and self-development

Photos are a great motivator for those who want to lose weight or simply not lose weight. Such selfies are not always made public. However, the most desperate ones still post “themselves” from the “before” and “after” series. A selfie allows you to see yourself from the outside, get used to your appearance, and increase self-confidence. If you want to use selfies for self-discovery, take a few photos and think about which ones you will never publish, why, whose eyes are you afraid of?

"Another good idea for selfies, take pictures of yourself when you are in a wonderful mood, when you are happy, advises Eka Kadagidze. -Look at your face. What made you happy here? What kind of people are involved? How can you experience these feelings again?

Replacement of needs

Does the number of selfies taken per day exceed all reasonable limits? Maybe, we're talking about that important needs in a person’s life are not satisfied. “As a rule, many people themselves do not fully realize what they need at this particular moment, and replace the necessary and important with endless “crossbows,” says Anna Bokova.

Once you determine what exactly your selfies say about you, it's easy to change something in your life for the better.

The development of technology and the emergence of social networks have provided us with an obvious way to increase self-esteem: just take a photo of yourself, post it for everyone to see and collect the coveted “hearts” - likes. In our purses or pockets there is always a smartphone or tablet that can be taken out at any time to take a good shot.

However, in some cases, seemingly harmless fun turns into an obsession. The desire to do original photo leads a person to potentially dangerous places and also motivates them to take risky actions.

This is how the fashionable hobby got a medical name - selfie addiction, which American psychologists recognized as a type of mental disorder, but in Russia this manifestation is classified as addictive behavior.

How to recognize selfie addiction and what measures to take to cure this fashionable disease, you will learn in our article.

First, let's understand the essence of the phenomenon. The fashion for taking photographs of oneself – selfies, which are also called “selfies” or “self-shooting” on social networks, became a trend in 2013 and are still very popular among social network users.

Manufacturers mobile devices began to equip new models with a front camera so that everyone can take a self-portrait at any convenient moment. In addition, mirrors are used for selfies, and now special monopods are used, which allow you to increase the viewing angle of the camera by attaching the smartphone to a long handle.

Some types of selfies also acquired a separate name:

• photo with your loved one - selfie;
• photo of feet in different shoes on a beautiful background - shufiz;
• if in the photo the lips are folded into a tube and extended forward, it is called duckface;
• frame-reflection in the elevator mirror - elevator look;
• photograph of one’s own buttocks – belfie;
• extreme selfie – photos taken during extreme sports or under dangerous circumstances.

Why does the obsessive desire to take selfies arise?

Let's try to understand the reasons for the emergence of this strange fashion. What motivates young people to take lots of photos of themselves and fill their social media accounts with them?

First of all, teenagers became interested in “self-photography”. There is a simple explanation for this: in adolescence the formation of a social self is taking place. The question that comes first in importance is: “How do others (especially peers and friends) see me?”

Teenagers doubt their own attractiveness, their self-esteem is unstable, which is why they constantly want to know the opinions of society. Simple and always affordable way get feedback from those around you - take a selfie and post it on your page in social network.

However, the virtual community very often gives an inadequate reaction in the form of insults, negative comments or indifference. Many people automatically like all photos in their feed. Thus, teenagers find themselves disoriented and looking in vain for ways to constantly receive a positive reaction, increasingly falling under the influence of the opinions of social network users.

If an adult is caught up in selfie mania, this may indicate low self-esteem, immaturity, and a similar desire to gain social approval.

Signs of selfie addiction

Having a large number of selfies on your account does not in itself indicate illness. Research shows that selfie addiction can be determined by the following signs:

• taking at least three pictures of yourself per day;
• constantly posting these photos on social networks;
• tracking the number of likes and comments.

Another characteristic is also spending a lot of time taking selfies and giving it too much importance.

There are initial, acute and chronic stages of the disease. At the first stage, a person begins to take selfies more often and stores them on his phone; in the acute stage, he or she constantly posts self-portraits on social networks and monitors the reaction of society. At the chronic stage, creating “oneself” becomes an obsession, and the inability to take a photograph of oneself or post a photo is very painful and can cause changes in mood and poor health.

What does selfie mania lead to?

The obvious consequences of selfie addiction are unstable self-esteem and a tendency towards narcissism, as well as irrational use of time spent on creating and posting photos.

In addition, selfie mania can encourage risky behavior. In pursuit of a successful shot, teenagers and adults forget about reality and do not think about the possible consequences.

Being carried away by photographing oneself, a person may not notice warning signs or climb to a height where any awkward movement is a potential risk of injury. So, many get broken arms and legs.

Sometimes the desire to get unique frame may even lead to death. In America, such a case happened with a 22-year-old guy named Meng, who wanted to take a photo with a box of fireworks on his head.

In Russia, accidents have now also begun to occur due to selfie addiction.

How to cure selfie addiction?

If you find all the signs of the described disease in yourself or someone you know, we recommend immediately contacting a psychologist. A qualified specialist will help you understand the reasons for its occurrence and give recommendations that will help you change your attitude towards selfies and forget about obsessive thoughts. In especially severe cases, drug therapy may be prescribed.

However, if you wish, you can try to overcome the developing addiction on your own. To this end, psychologists recommend taking the following actions.

• Get a notepad and pen or keep notes on your smartphone in which to write down your feelings and thoughts, especially in those moments when the desire to take a selfie arises.
• Make it a habit to plan your time - make a daily schedule and a to-do plan. It is important to limit the possibility of photographing by setting a time limit and a fixed number of frames.
• As an alternative to virtual communication, you should try to find hobbies and like-minded people in real life. This could be dancing, creative or sports activities, meeting with friends, classmates, and so on.

If your real life will be quite rich and interesting, there will be no room for selfie addiction. The main thing is to actively spend your time so that you simply don’t have time to pick up a smartphone.

Among my friends, the only people who don’t indulge in selfies are those who still just have mobile phones, not smartphones. Those who have a phone with a more or less normal camera and Instagram have sent at least one selfie into this world. For me personally, a selfie used to be something of a salvation, that is, here I am in some wonderful place, but there is no one nearby, and I really want a photo of myself against its background, so I had to get out of it (sometimes literally words) to capture this moment. However, now this type of photography has become so popular that psychologists have become interested in it, and some have even classified it as a mental disorder. So is the selfie a painful manifestation of narcissism or a way of self-expression, and how can overindulgence in this form of self-expression affect your life?

Psychologists' opinion

According to psychologists, most selfies have a sexual connotation, and their purpose is to attract attention and create an image that is often completely inconsistent with reality.

In principle, this is logical, since Instagram is a social network, which means it is quite suitable for creating the desired virtual image. People who are too carried away by this type of self-expression begin to feel depressed if they collect too few likes, if they receive bad comments, or if someone they know has collected more attention.

Peggy Drexler, Ph.D., a research psychologist and associate professor of psychology at Weill Medical College of Cornell University, wrote an entire article and gave examples of revelations shared by selfie-takers. Some do it to feel more confident, like Sarabeth, 40, a director of operations at a media company. Lena Dunham thus protests against Hollywood beauty standards by taking selfies under the slogan “Love me for who I am” (sometimes naked). The listed selfies in moderation are not a deviation, but if we are talking about huge quantities and obsession, then problems begin.

Negative sides

Yet selfies are an obsession with appearance and a manifestation of narcissism. People feel like the main characters of the reality show “Behind the Glass” with inflated self-esteem. It's like looking at yourself in the mirror all day. Research has shown that taking too many selfies can have a negative impact on your relationships within your family (or with a loved one), parenting, your work environment, and may even cause violent outbursts.

Another study has shown that an excessive passion for posting self-portraits (that is, selfies) on the Internet leads to the fact that in reality a person becomes less attractive to others, the degree of warmth in real relationships also decreases and people move away from each other.

Positive aspects, or How to use selfies for good

• However, not everything is so gloomy, since in skillful hands and with the right approach, selfies can be a wonderful tool for working on yourself. They can help you understand yourself, open up new qualities and spaces for creativity, and also allow a person to be multifaceted.
• A selfie doesn’t necessarily sell a specific person. It may well sell a brand, show new fashion trends, or have a certain artistic value if it is not just people doing it to satisfy their vanity, but real creators.
• Celebrity selfies make their fans feel closer to their idols. Stars share a piece of their lives, write responses and create an impression of relative closeness with their fans. Whether this is good or bad for the fans is difficult for me to judge, but for the stars it is definitely good.
• Also, selfies can influence modern ideals of beauty and show how beautiful naturalness can be, and not these images corrected first with makeup and then with Photoshop (for example, photos before and after makeup).
• And finally, selfies can act as a personal chronicler. They show your history of change and development, remind you of the past and can help you avoid past mistakes. If translated into normal language, these are thoughts in the style of “Hmm, red color obviously doesn’t suit me...”, “What a terrible haircut!”, “Mommies, who is this?!”, “So, you need to remember that after the second glass beer, you need to hide your phone! And so on and so forth. ;)
• I almost forgot about sports selfies in the “before and after” style - it’s also very motivating!

Some observations and statistics

I went to Instagram and searched for the hashtag #selfie to understand the scale of the disaster. As a result, I got this picture:

By the time I finished writing the article, the number for the #selfie hashtag had changed from 151,691,246 to 151,713,655, that is, in about an hour, 22,409 photos with this hashtag appeared. How many such photos actually appeared (not everyone uses the necessary hashtags) - one can only guess.

Good photo pleasing to the eye and truly is true art. The photographer chooses the angle, the composition, takes a whole series of pictures with different settings in order to choose one single brilliant shot. Such photographs are treasured and rare.

Modern virtual world oversaturated with photographs of a different kind, in which a person photographs himself. This modern phenomenon called a selfie.

Selfie: what is it?

Selfie is a term that describes the process of taking photographs of oneself and then posting these pictures on social networks. You can take a selfie by holding out your hand with a camera, taking a photo of yourself in a mirror image, or using special selfie devices that resemble long tubes.

The selfie craze has captured young people relatively recently and has turned into a real boom. Young people spend a lot of time looking for a special angle. Selfies have turned into an unannounced competition on the Internet: better, higher, more interesting, more original. In an attempt to surprise others, young men and women often cross the boundaries of decency and safety. Selfies often range from downright indecent to completely extreme photos.

Selfie aficionados can spend hours choosing the exact angle they think makes them look their best. Choosing a pose takes a lot of time. Selfie lovers can take more than 200 pictures in one session and not be satisfied with the result, or they can be so in love with every turn of their head that both the process of photographing and the process of viewing photos turns into narcissism.

What are the dangers of taking selfies?

Let's imagine the selfie process itself.

• Situation 1. A young girl takes a selfie. In an outstretched hand - mobile phone. Clothes, facial expressions, poses, turns, angles change. After a few days, there is simply no place left in the apartment where photographs have not been taken. The need for photographs remains, and the most unexpected places are used: the bathroom, toilet, closet. Needless to say about the options for clothing, hairstyles, and cosmetics. Selfie craze prompts unexpected actions, including nudity.
• Situation 2. A young man is trying to attract attention by taking a selfie. He understands that the usual angle will not attract attention to him and the search for the background leads to extreme actions such as taking photos at high altitude, in a fall, at speed, near wild animals, etc.

The options for choosing subjects for photography are different, but the purpose of these photos is the same - to attract attention.

Recently global network was stunned by the amazing news: British scientist David Veal identified the selfie hobby as a group of mental disorders, identifying two reasons for this hobby:

1. Narcissism;
2. Extreme self-doubt.

Psychiatric associations European countries They also recognize excessive selfie-taking as a mental disorder. In official literature, selfies are described as a person’s desire to constantly take photographs of himself and make these photos public – publish them on social networks. A person cannot resist this desire, so he constantly takes and publishes up to 6-10 pictures daily.

At the same time, psychiatrists distinguish several stages of this disorder:

• The first stage is borderline, manifested in photographing oneself at least three times a day without the constant desire to publish pictures on the Internet.
• The second stage is acute, characterized by several auto photo shoots a day with their publication on social networks.
• The third stage is chronic, distinctive feature which is an uncontrollable desire to take photographs of oneself and publish them on the Internet.

An interesting fact is that the process of life and the impressions of it become unimportant to people. Secondary impressions from photographs come to the fore, which most often overpower the primary ones.

The desire to constantly take pictures of yourself can cause narcissism - mental disorder characterized by constant self-admiration. Young people do not control their desires to admire themselves, examining their body parts in various poses and angles. Narcissism crosses internal boundaries and begins to demand that others admire their appearance, for which purpose they constantly publish pictures on social networks.

However, the competition for pictures on the Internet is quite high. The narcissist needs constant update photographs to keep attention on you. Moreover, both the number of these photographs and their originality are taken into account.

Narcissism is fueled constant attention, which is expressed in ratings, likes, and comments on social networks. The more positive ratings, the more self-esteem the “selfie-narcissist” will enjoy.

But if attention and narcissism begin to be determined by numerical indicators, then there is a need to constantly increase these numbers. However, the increase in the number of views and likes cannot be endless, which means that self-esteem will suffer from dissatisfaction and lack of recognition from others.

Selfie-narcissism is characterized by an uncontrollable desire to attract attention to oneself, in the pursuit of positive evaluations and admiration from others.

Selfie dysmorphophobia

This is the fundamental opposite of narcissism. A person with body dysmorphic disorder is extremely dissatisfied with his appearance and puts in a lot of effort to get the perfect photo, in other words, to see the ideal himself in the photo. At the same time, the girl and the boy are dissatisfied with their figure, face, and hair.

Bodysmorphophobia is characterized by a person's excessive preoccupation with the shortcomings of his appearance. These can be either individual flaws: a long nose, small eyes, large ears, etc., or a whole range of features. At the same time, a person is looking for that angle or pose in which flaws are not visible or obvious. In other words, a person thinks about his shortcomings for several hours a day. Such preoccupation is a sign of a serious mental disorder.

Signs of dysmorphophobia:

• Constantly studying one's appearance by analyzing the reflection in the mirror or, conversely, the desire to avoid mirrors.
• Preoccupation with one's appearance.
• The belief that a person has special features of appearance that spoil or even disfigure him.
• The belief that people around you have a negative attitude towards a person because of his appearance.
• Desire for frequent use of cosmetic procedures.
• Avoidance of “live” communication.
• Constantly comparing one's own appearance with others.
• Disguising your appearance under a layer of cosmetics or using clothing.
• An obsessive desire to “improve” one’s appearance without visible results.

If we combine these signs with constant self-photographs, then a clinical picture of a mental disorder is evident.

The desire to take a spectacular selfie has caused many accidents. Modern statistics show us cases of deaths of spectacular self-portraits. Are there any excuses for taking selfies at the cost of your life? And why don’t young people feel the danger when taking selfies?

Self-portraits on the phone have become separate and wild popular genre. Even Meryl Streep, who had not previously been noticed in narcissism, could not resist and took a selfie with Hillary Clinton after dinner at the State Department. What about Hillary - some even have a selfie with the Pope!

Scientists quickly realized: it was time to seriously study this phenomenon. A group of specialists led by computer scientist Lev Manovich created the SelfieCity project and conducted research. They selected 120,000 photos of people from five different countries on Instagram, and then looked closely at each one to find out if it was a selfie. A lot of interesting things came to light. For example, that in Moscow women make crossbows 5 times more often than men. And also that girls usually pose by folding their lips like a duck and tilting their heads coquettishly. Psychologists have explained why we take selfies with such enthusiasm.

Popular

Selfie is a way to tell the world: “I am!” Today, a person without a page on a social network is invisible. And if there is not a single selfie in the profile, it looks suspicious. Isn't it a bot?

“With the help of self-portraits, we also tell others about our experiences,” explains family psychologist Marina Travkova. Making a funny face in the Dali Museum, pretending to suffer next to a candy store, making a cute face next to your boyfriend is the best and shortest way to show off, brag or complain. After all, a person needs an audience. By the way, our mothers, in order to report the latest hot news, had to call all their friends, just like the actress from “Ivan Vasilyevich”, who couldn’t wait to boast that she was flying to Gagra with Yakin. For us, it’s enough to “Instagram” a selfie and not hang around in a phone booth for hours.

It's good if... thanks to publications you get emotional release.

Be wary if... You don’t know how to talk about your experiences to people. To a friend - that she’s happy about her promotion, and to a colleague - that she’s offended because she let you down.

Kind with healthy

Crossbows help:

1. capture inspiring moments: against the backdrop of a panda in China or when you ran your first five kilometers
2. evaluate your sports progress: if you train regularly, you can compare before and after selfies once a month
3. thank a friend for a gift: for example, take a photo wearing a scarf that he brought you from a trip

To get attention

We live in a world that is obsessed with popularity. And we constantly “sell” ourselves: a profile on a social network is a store window, posts are advertising text, and a selfie is a photo of a product. Vanity Fair works around the clock: what matters is how you dressed, where you had dinner, and who you dated. Bloggers who have been blessed by nature with a pleasant appearance are guaranteed a flow of likes. This is, in fact, why we post pictures. A like or an enthusiastically meaningless comment under a selfie is virtual social stroking. “In this way we receive confirmation that we are good, worthy of love, attention and respect,” says psychologist Elizaveta Koroleva. In response to attention, we pay with the same virtual coin: click on the heart icon under your friends’ selfies.

It's good if... you know other ways to get approval and support.

Be wary if... for the sake of virtual adoration, she is ready to make any sacrifice. For example, taking pictures while standing on the edge of a precipice.

To quell the anxiety

Actually, a selfie is a monologue, a conversation with oneself. To take a photo, we choose a proven angle, make a familiar facial expression - and we’re done! What an author's view and creative search there is. The main thing is that the eyes look more expressive and the hair is fuller. But ordinary photography is always the result of interaction between the photographer and the model. “The work of a professional brings out the best or the new in you. For selfies, we just stamp the only image in which we feel comfortable. This prevents us from going beyond the usual,” says body-oriented psychologist Elena Mzhelskaya. To look at yourself from the outside, you need to trust the person with the camera. And this is very worrying. So we find peace, standing with an iPhone in front of the mirror. By choosing a familiar perspective, we are guaranteed to avoid ironic comments, which means a threat to self-esteem.

It's good if... You are maniacally counting likes and are almost ready to run to the beauty salon to correct imaginary shortcomings.

Be wary if... I noticed that my friends are giving less and less likes, and you think: maybe it’s because the hair is sloppily styled or the mascara is smudged?

To blow off some steam

We women are all a little actresses who need a stage and an audience. Apparently, it is this inner prima donna that makes us post our photos five times a day. We take pleasure in showing ourselves off, and this is natural. If you don't let the actress get a standing ovation where it's safe (on Instagram), there's a chance that her temperament will break through and she'll make a show. And he will do it at the most inopportune moment and with delightful tragedy. Therefore, selfies are a harmless way to support your mental health.

good if... your inner prima donna knows when to stop and doesn’t confuse the questions “how are you?” when meeting with friends. and “why don’t you like?”

Be wary if... You no longer only form your lips like a duck in front of the iPhone camera. And this sweet expression almost turned into a capricious grimace.

To be sincere

By publishing a selfie, we communicate rather intimate information to others and admit our weaknesses. Some say that they don’t like to make their bed, and others say that they don’t have one at all. And selfies are usually photos of dubious quality: blurry, poorly cropped. It turns out that love for self-portraits is like giving up the pursuit of success. It’s as if we are saying: “I’m not ashamed of myself, so I don’t need Photoshop.” Maybe Moscow iPhone makers were the first to catch this craving for naturalness. After all, according to the study we wrote about at the beginning, it is Moscow residents who take the saddest selfies in the world. We are probably tired of forced smiles and have realized that it is normal to be sad.