Without emotional dependence no close relationships are possible. No one can be completely free from those they love. But if a person is in a clearly unequal relationship that harms him state of mind cause material damage, and at the same time are unable to break off this relationship on their own, then we are talking about pathological emotional dependence.
Physical and mental withdrawal symptoms from narcotic substances
Examples of alcohol and heroin: Many people cope well with moderate alcohol use without developing an addiction. Mental, physical dependence: at this stage there is practically no resignation, the whole life is determined by addiction. Friends, family, profession step by step. Attempts to get away from him will fail. Often sufferers also have problems with the judiciary.
- Trial phase: It's all about trying, learning something new.
- Not every substance is addictive.
- As a result, the dose must be increased to achieve the desired effect.
In an unequal relationship, one party gives much more than he receives. A person is ready to sacrifice everything just to stay close to his partner. He may refuse the medications he needs for health reasons in order to buy a friend or girlfriend an expensive phone. In an unequal relationship, the dependent party may sacrifice their time, health and money. As a rule, the patient is haunted by the fear of losing a partner, which leads to various psychosomatic disorders and even suicide attempts.
Physical withdrawal symptoms include restlessness, freezing, shaking, vomiting, pain, circulatory problems and even life-threatening conditions with severe ones. Symptoms of mental withdrawal are often referred to as restlessness, restlessness and depressed mood to suicidal thoughts.
Withdrawal symptoms lead addicts to take the substance again. When psychiatric or psychotic symptoms occur, it is important to remember that addictive drugs are often used to counteract the symptoms of mental illness.
The patient is well aware that such relationships are not good for him, but he is not able to break up with his partner on his own. Often, to “get out” of such relationships requires the help of a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Emotional dependence is not always based on close physical relationships.
It can occur in people of any gender and any age. And, in essence, it is no different from other pathological addictions, including alcohol.
Harmless addiction sign
Psychosocial problems are the main focus of non-interdependence, although physical complaints may also arise.
The following signs may indicate suicidal behavior
- In the form of nervousness, sleep disorders, aggressiveness, suicidal thoughts.
- Some unsuccessful attempts limit addictive behavior.
Extensive medical history, including symptoms described. . Addiction: Self-help groups are a big help. The way out of addiction is long and the longer the addiction lasts. Since the addicted person is in a vicious circle that cannot escape on its own, professional outside help is needed. Prerequisites for successful therapy: the person concerned understands that he or she is dependent and is willing to give up the addiction and abstinence. In cases of physical dependence, deprivation is also necessary, which requires professional support and assistance.
At the beginning of a relationship, the addict experiences a feeling of delight that the person he loves is next to him. Even if his feelings are not reciprocated, this does not darken his joy. The need for the presence of a loved one is gradually growing. Like an alcoholic, an emotionally dependent person wants to increase his “dose.”
Without his beloved he is sad and sad. He begins to control the life of the person to whom he is attached, often behaving tactlessly, rudely, and intrusively. He either showers his partner with gifts or torments him with jealousy. In the end, the object of love, tired of such close attention and control, suggests breaking up. The addict understands that he spent his time and energy on a feeling that does not exist. And then either a suicide attempt occurs or recovery from addiction occurs.
Drug addiction treatment occurs in different phases. Contact phase: The first step in addiction treatment is contacting the addicted person with a counseling or care center. There are inpatient or outpatient specialized institutions. At this stage, life must be explored without addiction to substances. It includes: psychotherapy, family therapy, behavioral therapy, safety training, relaxation training. Duration from 6 weeks to six months. Post-operative care and rehabilitation: When it comes to the post-operative period, relapse prevention is at the forefront. This is done through self-help groups, a family doctor, shared apartments or outpatient specialist facilities. With drug addiction and addiction, few people make their way to independence with deprivation.
Healing is characterized by increased attention to oneself.
The patient begins to actively engage in his own physical health. Gradually, his former interests return to him, the longing and the need to see his loved one all the time disappears.
Sometimes the experiences that accompany emotional dependence are so strong that a person receives a kind of immunity and never tries to build such a relationship again. Sometimes he is overcome by a thirst for revenge and, in order to take revenge on “all women” or “all men,” he looks for a partner who, in turn, will be emotionally dependent on him. And sometimes, having recovered from one relationship, a person immediately starts another, exactly the same.
Drug addicts often die from overdose, suicide, accidents or infections. There are millions of people who spend their free time on the computer. They surf the Internet, communicate in in social networks, download important information for themselves or play computer games.
Many young people cannot imagine their life without a computer because they can communicate with other people or spend their free time on the computer. IN Lately scientists found themselves dependent on the computer. Many people do not believe this, which is why many studies have been conducted on this topic.
As a rule, a tendency towards emotional dependence is formed in childhood, under the influence of the parents’ lifestyle, education system and general atmosphere in the parental family. The most typical situation: an alcohol-dependent father and an emotionally dependent mother. To understand yourself, identify the causes of pathological behavior and eliminate future relationship based on emotional dependence, it is best to seek the help of a professional psychotherapist.
The most popular experiment is called "Eight Hours". They had the opportunity to do other things such as traveling games, reading, drawing, singing, walking or visiting a museum. The parents of the subjects were notified of this experiment. Of these, seven teenagers spent five or more hours without their “favorite toys.” Only three test faces were fully supported!
Subjects exhibited such symptoms during this examination. Fever and chills, nausea and stomach pain, dizziness and headache, chest pain, restlessness and restlessness, panic attack, suicidal thoughts - in three subjects. Psychologists around the world associate symptoms of alcoholism and drug addiction. The most striking thing is that all subjects received good mood when the phones and tablets were returned.
Psychology of addiction– this is the main problem on the path of personal self-realization. Voluntary slavery significantly limits a person's capabilities. It steals his time and health, interferes with the implementation of his plans, destroys his hopes. In fact, it steals not only happiness, but also a person’s life itself.
It is not without reason that many spiritual mentors of humanity tried to find ways to escape from shameful captivity. According to one of them, the American novelist Jack Kerouac, it would not hurt for each of us to one day find ourselves in the hopeless wilderness in order to physically feel dependent solely on ourselves.
A good example of digital device addiction is the movie Help, We're Online, which we watched in summer school. The film talks about the addiction of an entire family who always spends their free time with technology. The family must live without digital devices for a month.
For almost three weeks, the entire family did not use any technology. There were a total of one hundred tenth grade students from eight different schools across the country. The summer school was dedicated to the topic “digital”, which also includes written articles by the student body. A total of seven different short articles, which were selected thematically independently and edited by students. The event was financed by the Federal Foreign Office of the Federal Republic of Germany and carried out on behalf of the Central Office of Schools Abroad.
Only in this way, according to the writer, can one discover the depths of one’s nature and gain previously unknown strength. Kerouac knew what he was talking about: he created his novels, which were called “psychoactive substances,” with the help of benzedrine or alcohol.
Psychology of addiction and personality
Paradoxically, most people have the experience of a traumatic “catch.” Bonds of burdensome dependencies are inherent in representatives of a wide variety of professions, ethnic and social groups. Even an outwardly trustworthy individual who does not make friends with the green serpent, who does not poison himself with nicotine or opium, has a loophole into a “parallel reality” that gives a feeling of temporary “flight”.
As a result, many theses and views have emerged that characterize the phenomenon of so-called codependency. In the opinion that every closer caregiver is codependent, to the expansion of this term to all addictions, further illnesses, as well as almost the entire social environment. There is still no general technical consensus on this issue. However, there are tendencies that co-addiction means any addiction, regardless of addiction. On the other hand, the concept of codependency is understood, on the one hand, as a “blame”, on the other hand, it can also be considered neutral: someone is behaving in an addictive manner.
About twenty such psychological traps are known today. Experts divide them into two groups:
emotional: love-jealousy, workaholism, shopping, gambling, extreme entertainment, Internet addiction, selfies, materialism and others;
chemical: substance abuse, smoking, alcohol, drugs, caffeinated drinks, carbohydrate-rich foods and others.
However, the influence of relatives on drug addicts is limited; the behavior of another person cannot be completely controlled. It is unlikely that anyone is deliberately and intentionally promoting habituation to the behavior of the victim. This usually occurs on their own impulse and is often an expression of behavior. Relatives of drug addicts suffer from the situation in many cases and experience a variety of feelings from horror and anger to helplessness. These are events that you are unlikely to be prepared for. The first important step is to admit what you don't know.
Submission to all kinds of addictions is worse than imprisonment. It is both voluntary and forced at the same time. Suffering and degrading, the dependent individual makes considerable efforts to strengthen his own chains. Meanwhile, no one except himself is able to bring him true freedom.
A person can become a victim not only of his own abuse, but also of codependency. It's about about a specific form of rapprochement with a close circle of people. Such bonds limit the possibilities of self-development almost more than a passion for sweets or drugs.
Avoid addictive addiction
Sometimes there are other relatives of drug addicts in the area that you can talk to. Kids are playing special role like relatives. They must be supported and, like all closer caregivers, receive help in a timely manner. The desire to help is legitimate and humane. Some assistive efforts are helpful and some are less so. But what is not useful now? Here are some examples.
- Suppress, deny, or downplay the addiction problem.
- However, this behavior is also part of the protective behavior of relatives.
A web of family and friendship codependencies densely interweaves the world of intimate relationships. At the same time, people do not realize how deeply they are stuck in the swamp of unfreedom. But everyone has one life - fleeting and irrevocable.
Psychology of addiction and consumer society
Attachments and addictions are the root causes of many diseases and interpersonal strife. They cost society more than the most severe cataclysms and dangerous epidemics. Doctors say: bad habits carry away more lives than crimes and wars combined.
The lives of many relatives revolve around the drug addiction problem of the person concerned. It's easy to forget yourself or other people in close proximity to responsibilities Everyday life. Pay attention to your own health and independent life. Treat yourself to retreats and times. Otherwise, it may happen that, for example, fatigue sets in. This does not mean "hack" however. But saying no or separating your problems from others is one of them. Of course, it's not always easy.
It may happen that relatives themselves experience problems or suffer from mental illness - regardless of or as a result of their loved one's addiction. In this case, it is important to contact professional help. It is helpful if relatives recognize exciting problems and refer patients to him. However, expect resistance in this regard. Help is just a narrow line for addicts. And if those who suffered agree to help depends on them. The willingness to do this may also change over time with drug addicts.
However, the standards of today's society impose a lot of dangerous stereotypes and vicious ideals on consumers. Advertising, which has penetrated into every home along with television and the Internet, praises in every possible way the sources of persistent addictions: strong drinks, cigarettes, gadgets.
Such psychic attacks deprive people of the ability to think, make them dependent, irresponsible, easily controlled, and make them forget about more important values. Instead of self-control comes self-justification for one’s weaknesses: “I deserve better!”, “Why am I worse than others?”, “I must allow myself this!”
Relatives can be included in therapy if they wish. However, it is never too late to seek support. You can learn about the addiction and the contact points that you can find in the relevant ones. Codependency is a pattern of behavior controlled by early conditioning assumptions in life. They are largely unconscious and impair the ability to have healthy and mutually satisfying relationships. Co-dependency is also known as "relational addiction" because the people affected often end up in relationships that are one-sided, exploitative, destructive, and often violent.
The roots of psychological dependence
Experts came to the conclusion that provocateurs different forms lack of freedom are ignored needs that a person does not know how or cannot realize.
The prerequisites for their appearance may arise already in infancy. If an infant is deprived unconditional love mother, emotional communication with her, then a feeling of deprivation will early creep into his soul.
This condition was described about ten years ago, after long period observing what happens in families that abuse alcohol. It has been noted that co-addicts support drug addiction and at the same time are often addictive. Codependency “learns”, often in early childhood, observing and imitating other family members, mainly parents, in precisely this behavior. Victims are often partners, parents, siblings, friends and co-workers of alcoholics or drug addicts. Today the term is mainly used to describe any type of codependency, but especially for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. A dysfunctional family is one in which members experience fear, fear, emotional pain, shame and guilt without even addressing them. The problems that cause these feelings usually arise as follows. Chronic mental or physical illness in the family can also lead to codependency. The focus and all the energy of one family goes to the sick or addicted person, other family members learn early to return their own needs to the benefit of the addict, yes, they care for them, participate, do everything good for them and lose them own life out of sight, her own happiness, progress and development. They cause problems in a person and often overlook the fact that it becomes an addiction and leads to self-denial. The problem is that repeated or constant rescue attempts only lead to the fact that the dependent person should not change, the rescuers become “helpers”, and they become even more indispensable. This initially leads to a feeling of uniqueness and importance, but later becomes a “prison” where the codependent person does not see a way out and begins to suffer on his own.
- Co-dependents have good intentions.
- They often become indispensable benefactors, even martyrs.
Subsequently with high probability he will develop a psychology of dependence, and he will begin to compensate for the lack of attention to his “I” with chemical or emotional agents. With their help, he will try to achieve mental comfort, a sense of calm and security. Self-doubt and inability to express oneself will prevent him from relieving tension in more advanced ways.
A similar complex can easily form addictive behavior. Unable to adapt to reality using healthy methods, such a person will flee from it by fleeing into some illusory space.
Only there can he rejoice, relax, forget, free himself from apathy and depression, and then return again to a reality hostile to him. At the same time, a person rarely realizes that his bioinformational “savior” gives him less and less “high” and that voluntary departures into slavery are less and less controlled by him.
Signs of addiction psychology:
1. An individual cannot independently cope with oppressive states of fear, anxiety, guilt, irritability, apathy, aggression and other negative mental “pressures”.
2. A person does not have the ability or ability to adapt to life in socially acceptable ways that are acceptable for his body. False programming of the brain with patterns of ineffective behavior occurs
3. " Big baby“There is no need for freedom as responsibility. He refuses it, replacing it with permissiveness, which leads him into the snare of slavery.
Is the psychology of addiction forever?
It is impossible to cut the bonds of slavery with one blow. It will be necessary to do a lot of labor-intensive internal work to cleanse the Augean stables of self-deception. First of all, the individual must realize the dead end of his chosen path. Then he will have to master the basics of creative self-government and comprehend the art of mobilization and relaxation. All this will eventually form the basis that will allow you to rely on yourself in any situation.
It is advisable that personality reorientation take place under the supervision of an experienced specialist. A qualified psychologist will ensure that the decision to radically change your life becomes uncompromising and irrevocable. He will tell his ward how to overcome the desire for false adaptation, how to develop a new set of expectations, habits and relationships.
A person getting rid of addiction must be convinced that real freedom, unlike imaginary freedom, brings heavenly pleasure. It provides a lot of new opportunities, bright sensations and experiences, harmonization of relationships with loved ones, unforgettable impressions of meditative travel, and most importantly, the embodiment of the most unrealistic dreams. All these prospects have nothing to do with the slave half-life of an addicted person.
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