This year, guys, I turned forty years old. So it turns out that I saw forty times Christmas tree. It's a lot!
Well, for the first three years of my life I probably didn’t understand what a Christmas tree was. Mannerically, my mother carried me out in her arms. And I probably looked at the decorated tree with my black little eyes without interest.
And when I, children, turned five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree was.
And I was looking forward to it happy holiday. And I even spied through the crack of the door as my mother decorated the Christmas tree.
And my sister Lelya was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl.
She once told me:
When I was little, I really loved ice cream.
Of course, I still love him. But then it was something special - I loved ice cream so much.
And when, for example, an ice cream maker with his cart was driving down the street, I immediately began to feel dizzy: I wanted so much to eat what the ice cream maker was selling.
And my sister Lelya also exclusively loved ice cream.
I had a grandmother. And she loved me very dearly.
She came to visit us every month and gave us toys. And in addition, she brought with her a whole basket of cakes.
Of all the cakes, she let me choose the one I liked.
But my grandmother didn’t really like my older sister Lelya. And she didn't let her choose the cakes. She herself gave her whatever she needed. And because of this, my sister Lelya whined every time and was more angry with me than with her grandmother.
One fine summer day, my grandmother came to our dacha.
She has arrived at the dacha and is walking through the garden. She has a basket of cakes in one hand and a purse in the other.
I studied for a very long time. There were still gymnasiums back then. And teachers then put marks in the diary for each lesson asked. They gave any score - from five to one inclusive.
And I was very small when I entered the gymnasium, the preparatory class. I was only seven years old.
And I still didn’t know anything about what happens in gymnasiums. And for the first three months I literally walked around in a fog.
And then one day the teacher told us to memorize a poem:
The moon shines merrily over the village,
White snow sparkles with blue light...
My parents loved me very dearly when I was little. And they gave me many gifts.
But when I got sick with something, my parents literally bombarded me with gifts.
And for some reason I got sick very often. Mainly mumps or sore throat.
And my sister Lelya almost never got sick. And she was jealous that I got sick so often.
She said:
Just wait, Minka, I too will somehow fall ill, and then our parents will probably start buying everything for me too.
But, as luck would have it, Lelya was not ill. And only once, putting a chair by the fireplace, she fell and broke her forehead. She groaned and groaned, but instead of the expected gifts, she received several spanks from our mother, because she put a chair near the fireplace and wanted to get her mother’s watch, and this was forbidden.
One day Lelya and I took a box of chocolates and put a frog and a spider in it.
Then we wrapped this box in clean paper, tied it with a chic blue ribbon and placed this package on the panel facing our garden. It was as if someone was walking and lost their purchase.
Having placed this package near the cabinet, Lelya and I hid in the bushes of our garden and, choking with laughter, began to wait for what would happen.
And here comes a passerby.
When he sees our package, he, of course, stops, rejoices and even rubs his hands with pleasure. Of course: he found a box of chocolates - this doesn’t happen very often in this world.
With bated breath, Lelya and I watch what will happen next.
The passerby bent down, took the package, quickly untied it and, seeing the beautiful box, became even more happy.
When I was six years old, I did not know that the Earth is spherical.
But Styopka, the owner’s son, with whose parents we lived at the dacha, explained to me what land was. He said:
The earth is a circle. And if you go straight, you can go around the entire Earth and still end up in the very place you came from.
When I was little, I really loved having dinner with adults. And my sister Lelya also loved such dinners no less than me.
Firstly, a variety of food was placed on the table. And this aspect of the matter especially seduced Lelya and me.
Secondly, adults always told Interesting Facts from your life. And this amused Lelya and me.
Of course, the first time we were quiet at the table. But then they became bolder. Lelya began to interfere in conversations. She chattered endlessly. And I also sometimes inserted my comments.
Our remarks made the guests laugh. And at first mom and dad were even pleased that the guests saw such our intelligence and such our development.
But then this is what happened at one dinner.
Dad's boss started telling some story incredible story about how he saved a fireman.
Petya was not like that a little boy. He was four years old. But his mother considered him a very tiny child. She spoon-fed him, took him for walks by the hand, and dressed him herself in the morning.
One day Petya woke up in his bed. And his mother began to dress him. So she dressed him and put him on his legs near the bed. But Petya suddenly fell. Mom thought he was being naughty and put him back on his feet. But he fell again. Mom was surprised and placed it near the crib for the third time. But the child fell again.
Mom got scared and called dad at the service on the phone.
She told dad:
Come home quickly. Something happened to our boy - he can’t stand on his legs.
When the war began, Kolya Sokolov could count to ten. Of course, it’s not enough to count to ten, but there are children who can’t even count to ten.
For example, I knew one little girl Lyalya who could only count to five. And how did she count? She said: “One, two, four, five.” And I missed “three”. Is this a bill? This is downright ridiculous.
No, it is unlikely that such a girl will become a scientist or a mathematics professor in the future. Most likely, she will be a domestic worker or a junior janitor with a broom. Since she's so incapable of numbers.
Works are divided into pagesZoshchenko's stories
When in distant years Mikhail Zoshchenko wrote his famous children's stories, then he was not at all thinking about the fact that everyone would laugh at the cocky boys and girls. The writer wanted to help children become good people. Series " Zoshchenko's stories for children" matches school curriculum literary instruction for junior school classes. It is primarily addressed to children who are between the ages of seven and eleven years and includes Zoshchenko's stories various topics, trends and genres.
Here we have collected wonderful children's stories Zoshchenko, read which is a great pleasure, because Mikhail Mahailovich was a true master of words. M. Zoshchenko's stories are filled with kindness; the writer was unusually able to portray children's characters, the atmosphere of the most youth filled with naivety and purity.
Zoshchenko's early story "Carousel" was written in 1923 and published in the magazine "Drezina". Originally had the title "Free". In a revised form it was included in " Blue Book" entitled "How much does a person need."
Literary direction and genre
The realistic story is based on a real-life incident similar to an anecdote. But the end of the story is not unexpected, like an anecdote or short story, but quite expected. So the genre of the story is close to a fairy tale - short true story. There is something of a parable in the work: the whole story is an illustration of the original thesis that free things will not lead to anything good. The work is similar to the feuilleton due to its topical theme and satirical sharpness.
Problems of the story
The tiny size of the story does not mean at all that the problem raised in it is insignificant. In 1923, the new Soviet society, which had survived the revolution and civil war, believed in the imminent arrival of communism, one of the principles of which was: “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.” Hungry and exhausted people, rejoicing at the arrival of the NEP, dreamed of the time promised by the communists, when the coveted “benefits” would be issued not by ration cards, as in the days of war communism, but completely free of charge. It might seem that the proverb about free cheese, which only comes in a mousetrap, has lost its relevance.
Indeed, what could be the catch: the carousel is a free pleasure that should be enjoyed to the fullest. But the problem is that “we don’t know any measure.” This is not a story about a guy from a village who has not yet been imbued with the progressive communist idea. This is a generalization hidden in the subtext: human nature will not allow the creation of a communist society, because a person not only does not know how to give, but cannot even take as much as he needs.
Plot and composition
The story begins and ends with short conclusions from the narrator that the freeness preached in society is destructive for its members. The ring composition frames a life story illustrating the conclusions about the dangers of free things.
The event happens on the May Day holidays in the city with one villager. A guy rides a carousel simply because the carousel is free until he gets sick. Even after making sure that the entertainment does not give him pleasure, the guy sits on the carousel “just one more time,” and this attempt ends in vomiting.
Thus, the hero, who coveted free pleasure, not only did not receive any pleasure, but, relatively speaking, lost what he had.
Heroes of the story
For some reason, it is generally accepted that the hero of the story is a boy, a child, because he rides a wooden horse on a carousel. But the hero, whom the narrator calls a guy, is a youth or teenager, that is, according to village standards, an adult, albeit a young, inexperienced person.
It is important that the hero is a villager. Zoshchenko gives this description to the guy to show his “backwardness.” After all, communism had to erase the line between city and countryside, so that nowhere in the country of victorious communism would there remain such irresponsible elements who punish themselves.
Zoshchenko’s Aesopian language makes it possible to subject to satirical ridicule not an individual backward village guy, but the very Soviet idea of conscious unpaid labor, reverse side which are free but unnecessary pleasures.
As always in early stories Zoshchenko, the image of the narrator does not coincide with the image of the narrator. The narrator is a city dweller, but a man “of the people,” as evidenced by his simple speech. Unlike an educated writer-narrator, the narrator, trying to instill new Soviet values in an “uncouth” village guy, does not understand the main thing: a person cannot be changed by any ideas if he himself is shallow and petty.
Artistic originality
The most important means of creating artistic image in Zoshchenko's stories - the speech of the characters and, above all, the narrator. He injects vernacular and grammatical errors into the narrative: you have to wait, in front of everyone, people are rushing in, the guy happened. The narrator speaks in short, choppy sentences. It is immediately clear that the narrator does not need to embellish the story or lie a little. He leaves the very essence of the incident, speaks only to the point. The listeners are like-minded people of the narrator, so he addresses them with the words “my brothers,” “brothers,” “guys.”
The narrator takes pity on the guy who suffered from his own love for gratuitousness, he does not gloat. The naturalistic, capacious comparison “it was pouring like a bucket” is based on the phraseological unit “it’s pouring like a bucket,” meaning heavy rain.
The hero's twice-repeated attempt to get pleasure from the carousel resembles a struggle epic hero with a snake. It is not known how the story would have ended if the guy (read good fellow) for the third time mounted a wooden horse.
Peace is an ultimatum.
Gear mechanism.
December 2016
That's it, I can't. Going to work day after day, spinning in this hopeless carousel. ...
Although where isn't there a carousel? There's a carousel everywhere. There's no escape from it. Starting with milky way, it continues in the head, and does not end around. Even the word “around” is also a carousel. And what do I like about all this? From this diversity - monotony, carousels. I smoked out the window and thought. Nothing came to mind. There was a smell of diesel fuel in the air... The garbage truck was no longer visible, only the rattling of garbage cans at the next parking lot, but the diesel fuel hung. ...in the frosty air. Curtain, like in a theater. Soon it will open and the performance will begin... And the garbage dump is waiting for the next portion. But before they throw it away, they will buy something first. And then there's the carousel. ...What can be done here? In this carousel world. And the clock hands run in a circle, like iron horses after iron lions, on a wooden circle. And I’m in the same direction, stirring coffee in a cup. The cigarettes are running out, the coffee is running out... and so is the money. And money. How will I buy cigarettes if I quit my job? I love cigarettes more than the money I buy them for. And my work, which brings me this money, is even less so. This is how this world works. There must be something wrong with me. Or in peace. But most likely with both of us.
Hello... - yes, it's me. I'm quitting. By at will. After the holidays I will write a statement... Thank you.
Relief, fear, uncertainty, soaring, falling. Relief. Everything at once and together. What's next? What could happen next? I still need time out. Reboot. And how to work together with her daughter? In one office, under the supervision of intelligence officers? No. Nothing more. Not by any means. Neither sideways, nor doggy style. Maybe. Perhaps and, I suppose. What else? For the first time? Well, in a taxi. Back in the taxi again. That hard work is what made me this way. Dangerous profession.
12:10. From home. To the air. In the sun. To the wind. Out in the cold. Take a walk. Get some air. I'm not in the game. I'm not in pursuit, so I walk. The distances have changed. Have your thoughts slowed down too, or is it just taking longer? Bye from "A" to "Be"
But do you at least like something? - the seller asked me, after her patter, losing hope of foisting something on me. Although I didn't ask anything. I just stopped at the market, near her tent, sheltering from the wind, to light a cigarette.
Yes,” I suddenly answered to myself. And she heard:
-That my head is spinning. When you drink wine. Like on a carousel in childhood...
The saleswoman twirled her finger at her temple, and I moved on. Pushing the ground with your feet. Like other passers-by nearby. And another 6-7 billion, in the distance. They, it seems, had no idea that they themselves set this attraction in motion. They don't have time to think about it, I do, but it won't replace my lunch.
The text is large so it is divided into pages.
They say that elephants and monkeys are very smart animals. But other animals are not stupid either. Look what smart animals I saw.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Smart Goose”
One goose was walking in the yard and found a dry crust of bread.
So the goose began to peck at this crust with its beak in order to break it and eat it. But the crust was very dry. And the goose could not break it. But the goose didn’t dare swallow the whole crust right away, because it probably wouldn’t be good for the goose’s health.
Then I wanted to break this crust so that it would be easier for the goose to eat. But the goose did not allow me to touch its crust. He probably thought that I wanted to eat it myself.
Then I stepped aside and watched what would happen next.
Suddenly the goose takes this crust with its beak and goes to the puddle.
He puts this crust in the puddle. The crust is made soft in water. And then the goose eats it with pleasure.
It was a smart goose. But the fact that he didn't let me break the crust shows that he wasn't that smart. Not exactly a fool, but he was still a little behind in his mental development.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Smart chicken”
One hen was walking in the yard with chickens. She has nine little chicks.
Suddenly a shaggy dog came running from somewhere.
This dog crept up to the chickens and grabbed one.
Then all the other chickens got scared and scattered.
Kura was also very scared at first and ran. But then he looks - what a scandal: the dog is holding it in his teeth little chicken. And he probably dreams of eating it.
Then the chicken boldly ran up to the dog. She jumped up a little and gave the dog a painful peck right in the eye.
The dog even opened his mouth in surprise. And she released the chicken. And he immediately ran away quickly. And the dog looked to see who pecked her in the eye. And, seeing the chicken, she became angry and rushed at it. But then the owner ran up, grabbed the dog by the collar and took it away with him.
And the chicken, as if nothing had happened, collected all her chickens, counted them and began to walk around the yard again. It was a very smart chicken.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Stupid thief and smart pig”
Our owner had a pig at his dacha. And the owner locked this piglet in the barn at night so that no one would steal it.
But one thief still wanted to steal this pig.
He broke the lock at night and made his way into the barn. And piglets always squeal very loudly when they are picked up. Therefore, the thief took the blanket with him.
And just as the pig wanted to squeal, the thief quickly wrapped him in a blanket and quietly walked out of the barn with him.
Here is a piglet squealing and floundering in a blanket. But the owners do not hear his screams, because it was a thick blanket. And the thief wrapped the pig very tightly.
Suddenly the thief feels that the pig is no longer moving in the blanket. And he stopped screaming. And lies without any movement.
The thief thinks:
“I may have wrapped the blanket around him really tight. And maybe the poor little pig suffocated there.”
The thief quickly unfolded the blanket to see what was wrong with the piglet, and the piglet jumped out of his hands, squealed, and rushed to the side.
Then the owners came running. The thief was captured.
Thief says:
- Oh, what a pig this cunning piglet is. He probably pretended to be dead on purpose so that I would let him out. Or maybe he fainted from fear.
The owner says to the thief:
- No, my little pig didn’t faint, but he deliberately pretended to be dead so that you would untie the blanket. This is a very smart pig, thanks to which we caught the thief.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Very smart horse”
Besides the goose, chicken and pig, I saw a lot of smart animals. And I’ll tell you about this later.
In the meantime, I need to say a few words about smart horses.
Dogs eat boiled meat.
Cats drink milk and eat birds. Cows eat grass. Bulls also eat grass and gore people. Tigers, those cheeky animals, are feeding raw meat. Monkeys eat nuts and apples. Chickens peck crumbs and various debris.
Tell me, please, what does the horse eat?
The horse eats this healthy food which children eat.
Horses eat oats. And oats are oatmeal and rolled oats.
And children eat oatmeal and rolled oats and thanks to this they become strong, healthy and brave.
No, horses are not stupid for eating oats.
Horses are very smart animals because they eat such a healthy baby food. In addition, horses love sugar, which also shows that they are not stupid.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Smart Bird”
One boy was walking in the forest and found a nest. And in the nest sat tiny naked chicks. And they squeaked.
They were probably waiting for their mother to fly in and feed them worms and flies.
The boy was glad that he had found such nice chicks, and wanted to take one to bring him home.
As soon as he extended his hand to the chicks, suddenly some feathered bird fell from the tree like a stone at his feet.
She fell and lies in the grass.
The boy wanted to grab this bird, but it jumped a little, hopped on the ground and ran away to the side.
Then the boy ran after her. “Probably,” he thinks, “this bird hurt its wing, and that’s why it can’t fly.”
As soon as the boy approached this bird, it jumped again, jumped on the ground and again ran away a little.
The boy follows her again. The bird flew up a little and sat down in the grass again.
Then the boy took off his hat and wanted to cover the bird with this hat.
As soon as he ran up to her, she suddenly took off and flew away.
The boy was really angry with this bird. And he quickly went back to take at least one chick.
And suddenly the boy sees that he has lost the place where the nest was, and cannot find it.
Then the boy realized that this bird had deliberately fallen from the tree and was deliberately running along the ground in order to take the boy away from its nest.
So the boy never found the chick.
He picked a few wild strawberries, ate them and went home.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Smart Dog”
I had big dog. Her name was Jim.
It was a very expensive dog. It cost three hundred rubles.
And in the summer, when I was living at the dacha, some thieves stole this dog from me. They lured her with meat and took her away with them.
So I searched and searched for this dog and couldn’t find it anywhere.
And then one day I came to the city to my city apartment. And I’m sitting there, grieving that I lost such a wonderful dog.
Suddenly I heard someone on the stairs call.
I open the door. And you can imagine - my dog is sitting in front of me on the platform.
And some top tenant says to me:
- Oh, what a smart dog you have - she just called herself. She nuzzled the electric bell and called for you to open the door for her.
It's a shame that dogs can't talk. Otherwise she would have told who stole it and how she got into the city. The thieves probably brought it by train to Leningrad and wanted to sell it there. But she ran away from them and probably ran through the streets for a long time until she found her familiar house, where she lived in the winter.
Then she climbed the stairs to the fourth floor. She lay at our door. Then she saw that no one opened it for her, so she took it and called.
Oh, I was very happy that my dog was found, I kissed her and bought her a big piece of meat.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Comparatively smart cat”
One housewife left on business and forgot that she had a cat in the kitchen.
And the cat had three kittens that had to be fed all the time.
Our cat got hungry and started looking for something to eat.
And there was no food in the kitchen.
Then the cat went out into the corridor. But she didn’t find anything good in the corridor either.
Then the cat approached one room and felt through the door that there was something pleasant smelling there. And so the cat began to open this door with its paw.
And in this room there lived an aunt who was terribly afraid of thieves.
And here this aunt sits by the window, eats pies and trembles with fear. And suddenly she sees that the door to her room is quietly opening.
The aunt, frightened, says:
- Oh, who's there?
But no one answers.
The aunt thought they were thieves, opened the window and jumped out into the yard. And it’s good that she, the fool, lived on the first floor, otherwise she probably would have broken her leg or something. And then she only hurt herself a little and bloodied her nose.
So my aunt ran to call the janitor, and meanwhile our cat opened the door with her paw, found four pies on the window, gobbled them up and went back to the kitchen to her kittens.
The janitor comes with his aunt. And he sees that there is no one in the apartment.
The janitor got angry with his aunt - why did she call him in vain - he scolded her and left.
And my aunt sat down by the window and wanted to start making pies again. And suddenly he sees: there are no pies.
The aunt thought that she herself had eaten them and forgot out of fear. And then she went to bed hungry.
And in the morning the owner arrived and began to carefully feed the cat.
Mikhail Zoshchenko “Very smart monkeys”
A very interesting incident happened in the zoological garden.
One man began to tease the monkeys who were sitting in a cage.
He deliberately pulled out a piece of candy from his pocket and handed it to one monkey. She wanted to take it, but the man didn’t give it to her and hid the candy again.
Then he again held out the candy and again didn’t give it to me. And in addition, he hit the monkey on the paw quite hard.
The monkey got angry - why did they hit it? She stuck her paw out of the cage and at one moment grabbed the hat from the man’s head.
And she began to crush this hat, trample it and tear it with her teeth.
So the man started screaming and calling for the watchman. And at that moment another monkey grabbed the man by the jacket from behind and did not let go.
Then the man raised a terrible cry. Firstly, he was scared, secondly, he felt sorry for his hat, and thirdly, he was afraid that the monkey would tear his jacket. And fourthly, he had to go to lunch, but here they wouldn’t let him in.
So he began to scream, and the third monkey stretched out its furry paw from the cage and began to grab him by the hair and nose.
At this point the man was so frightened that he actually screamed in fear.
The watchman came running.
Watchman says:
“Hurry up, take off your jacket and run to the side, otherwise the monkeys will scratch your face or tear off your nose.”
So the man unbuttoned his jacket and instantly jumped out of it.
And the monkey, who was holding him from behind, pulled the jacket into the cage and began to tear it with his teeth. The watchman wants to take this jacket away from her, but she won’t give it back. But then she found candy in her pocket and began to eat it.
Then the other monkeys, seeing the candies, rushed to them and began to eat them too.
Finally, the watchman used a stick to pull the horribly torn hat and torn jacket out of the cage and handed them to the man.
The watchman told him:
“It’s your own fault, why you teased the monkeys.” Also say thank you that they didn’t tear your nose off. Otherwise, without a nose, they would have gone to dinner!
So a man put on a torn jacket and a torn and dirty hat and in such a funny manner, to the general laughter of people, he went home to have dinner.
Now, my brothers, we will have to wait a while for free things. Not possible now.
Let's say everything is free. But we don’t know any measure. We think that if it’s free, then it’s in front of everyone, guys.
Like once during the May Day holidays they put a carousel on the mercy seat. Well, the people flocked, of course. And then some guy happened. From the village, apparently.
“What,” the guy asks, “is he spinning for free?”
- For free!
This guy sat on a carousel, on a wooden horse, and spun until he was completely dead.
They took him off the carousel, laid him on the ground - nothing, he caught his breath, came to his senses.
“Why,” he says, “is he still spinning?”
- It's spinning...
“Well,” he says, “I’ll do it one more time... It’s free, after all.”
Five minutes later he was taken off his horse again.
They put him on the ground again.
He was vomiting like a bucket.
So, brothers, you have to wait.
The plot of the story Carousel Zoshchenko
The plot of the work tells about events in small town. One day before the May holidays, a carousel was installed in the city square. They only wanted people to be able to unwind. But our people don’t even know the limits, they fell in droves.
One boy asked how much a ride on the carousel cost, and they told him it was free. Well, he got into the carousel, rode until he was half dead, and then he was taken off the swing. Having caught his breath, he thought, why not ride again, he didn’t need to pay. He spun around again until he felt sick. He vomited and nearly died.
The author tried to show that people are very stingy creatures. They will take everything if it is free, without knowing the limits. Zoshchenko wants to say that greed does not lead to good things. You need to be smarter and take only what you really need.
Some interesting materials
- Pushkin - The Tale of the Priest and his Worker Balda
The main characters of Pushkin's work are presented to us by a priest and his newly minted worker. Their first meeting took place at a local market. The priest walked around, looking at the goods, and Balda wandered around idle
- Saltykov-Shchedrin - Tree Fire
A fire broke out in Sophoniha at noon. Almost all the adult residents of the village were working in the fields at that time, so they survived. Human casualties were minimal: only the grandmother Praskovya and the boy Petya burned to death
- Chekhov - Stupid Frenchman
One day, the French clown Henry Pourquois decided to have breakfast in a Moscow tavern. He ordered himself a consommé, without poaching, so as not to be too filling.
- Saltykov-Shchedrin - The Wise Minnow
Once upon a time there lived a smart minnow. He remembered well the stories and teachings of his father, who in his youth almost got into the ear. Realizing that danger awaited him from all sides, he decided to protect himself and dug a hole of this size
- Chekhov - Joy
Exactly at midnight, a disheveled Mitya Kuldarov flew in to his parents, who were already getting ready for bed. Having run in, he began to run around with amazed cries and look into all the rooms.
