Which will help you make the right choice. How to make difficult choices


Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, agree or refuse.

And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and delay in making a decision.

So how? make the right decision and learn to make the right choice?

Here are 10 ways.

1 - Just make the decision that you like.

According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 managers of large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies that were included in the list of the 500 best companies in the world 20 years ago no longer exist.

Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.

So relax, make a decision and start taking action.

You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.

You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.

Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, or as many attempts as you like. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better begin to understand how to make the right choice.

2 - Determine the price of your solution.

What happens if you do this or that and the choice turns out to be wrong? Write down the possible consequences and make a decision based on this. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.

And therefore...

3 - Determine the best result - What decision will move you the most forward? Those who strive for more win in life. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think, maybe sometimes it's worth taking a risk. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always return to another decision. So go for it. Success loves the brave.

4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.

Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution should you choose?

And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what is worth doing.

All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we only get access to it in our dreams. Plus, the subconscious can connect to the unified information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev discovered his table in a dream.

So ask your subconscious a question and go to bed. You will learn more about this technique in this video.

5 - Do something- To make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theories. The information you need will only be given by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.

If you are in doubt or choosing from several options, just do something in the direction of each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.

6 - Ask a more successful person - Such a person can help you in literally 5 minutes. He knows and can do more than you. Look for successful people around you. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is that you don’t need to ask everyone. Listen only to those who have actually solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience in overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then

7 - Imagine yourself as a super hero- Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what solution he would choose.

Often, internal fears and doubts prevent you from making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.

8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more possible solutions. Gather information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most informed decision.

9 - Let your brain sort everything into pieces - Modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in a time-poor mode.

But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking too much, then a lot becomes clearer and a decision is chosen by itself.

There is a good expression: morning is wiser than evening. So just disconnect from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.

10 - Write down all the pros and cons and compare

Choose 2-3 options and write each on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more beneficial for you.

That's all.

But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.

To make it easier for you, here are 50 step-by-step instructions

Can you imagine? what kind of success could be achieved if it was always easy and quick to make the right choice? Enroll in the most promising university? Choose exactly the partner who will bring true happiness in your personal life? Correctly determine the advantages of a particular vacancy? Choosing the best stocks to invest your money in? Such a person would probably become the ruler of the world in a couple of years.

Let's take a break from our dreams and remember how we usually make choices in real life. Depression, tossing from one thing to another, the desire not to choose at all or just toss a coin...

Remark: I say, of course, after trying it on my own skin and observing my friends. For a couple of days I was tormented by a difficult choice. I got angry and gathered my thoughts together to make the right choice algorithm. I have an unwritten (already written;) rule: if something turns out badly, do it better than anyone else.

So, the situation is familiar to everyone: you need to make some decision, choose between
several options for something (what job to get, what girl to choose, where to invest money). How to make the right choice? Let's figure it out.

First, a few notes.

1. We need to understand that our information about the available options is incomplete in any case (alas, we cannot see the future; the situation can always change). Therefore, a choice made in the most careful manner, well thought out and justified may ultimately turn out to be wrong.

There are two consequences from this fact:

— firstly, when making a choice, it’s good to be a little fatalistic. You need to tell yourself something like: “Whatever choice I make, I will be able to reap all the benefits and cope with the negative consequences.” Why is it necessary to understand that it is fundamentally impossible to make an ideal choice? (Because it is possible to guess with the choice and settle on the ideal option, but just guess) So, this is necessary in order to reduce stress in the selection process. Depression and bad mood are absolutely unnecessary and do not contribute in any way to making the right choice. And nothing good at all ;)

- on the other hand, this means that you can reduce the likelihood of making the wrong choice by obtaining new information. Therefore, one should strive to study the subjects of choice as fully as possible.

2. We are often visited by the desire to leave everything as it is and not choose for as long as possible. In most cases, this tactic is not very smart. You want to control your life, right? Or not? Do you care what it will be like?

So if you want not to choose at all, then it is best to calm down, rest your soul, and again take on the problem of choice a little later. "The morning is wiser than the evening". You can get enough sleep and with a fresh mind, not littered with negative emotions, weigh everything and finally make a choice.

Decision making techniques.

How can you make a choice? There are several ways:

1. Just sit down (take a walk, lie in the bath, etc. – wherever is more convenient for you) and think. Twist through the options in your head, figure out what and how.

2. The same thing, but think about the options not haphazardly, but on paper or on the computer. Write: “Option 1” - and its characteristics, what you like, what you don’t like, what are the advantages and disadvantages.
3. Make a sign like this (click to enlarge):

It’s quite obvious, but I’ll still explain: you evaluate each of the options according to several (the more, the better) criteria. For example, in the case of choosing a job, these could be: salary, availability of free time, prospects for growth, psychological comfort, social status, and so on. After scoring, you simply add up the results for the individual options and, with a light heart, choose the option that earned the most points.

This method of decision-making is good not only and not so much in itself, but because it allows you to look at various options from different angles and analyze different aspects of the decision being made. This method of choosing between alternatives gives you a better understanding of the big picture.

In life, we make choices every day, small or life-changing. Whether you know what the consequences will be or not, whether you want to do it or not, it doesn’t matter. Even by deciding not to do anything, you are already committing an action that will entail certain changes. Therefore, it is so important to learn how to choose the best option for yourself, no matter what happens and no matter who tries to manipulate you.

Let's figure out how to make the right choice

There is no one right solution for everyone. It always depends on who receives it, on his character, knowledge, intentions, experience, and even mood. So don't try to blindly follow what others say. Only you know what you need. But you shouldn’t refuse help if you are sure that someone’s knowledge will help minimize risks. Avoid those who have not been able to achieve anything in life and do not waste time listening to their monologue about what they would do.

Very often we are afraid to move from words to action for one single reason: we are afraid to make a mistake. And the reasons for this fear lie in self-doubt. It seems to us that we are not smart, good or strong enough so as not to stumble and cause even more problems. To get rid of such doubts, it is important to realize that having decided to act, you are already mentally prepared to overcome everything, no matter what happens. Take it for granted.

The choice is always difficult and unpredictable, no matter how hard we try to foresee everything, and the desire to make it, and not shift responsibility to someone else, is in itself worthy of respect. You have something to love and believe in yourself for. You have where to draw strength to do your best. Understand the full consequences if something goes wrong, and prepare for any eventuality. This will allow you to get rid of unnecessary thoughts.

Psychologists are unanimous that it is much more useful to move forward than to remain in place and wait for the right moment, which may not come. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. True, few people think that this is also a kind of choice that entails consequences, and as life shows, not always successful.


By refusing to do anything, people still make a choice, only an unconscious one, but a forced one, the consequences of which they cannot even approximately calculate. It is safer to follow your own path rather than leave it to chance. This is what should be the motivating factor in case of any doubts and reluctance to solve problems. It will not be possible to constantly avoid the fight for what is dear, life will still be buried under the rubble of problems and troubles, and there will be no strength to fix it.

Analyzing available information and your own capabilities to make a decision is not easy. And here you can’t do without patience and applying the well-known proverb “Measure seven times, and then cut” in a difficult life situation. Let it become a motto when thinking about any plans. You should never rush where your future is at stake, but there is no need to be afraid either. Everything is in your hands, mistakes can be corrected, but lost time cannot be returned. Everything needs a “golden” mean.


A person’s entire life is associated with risk and a high probability of error, and nothing can be done about it. But you won’t be able to reach your heights by ceding the right to decide for you to all and sundry, as the saying goes: “He who doesn’t take risks, doesn’t drink champagne.” Therefore, learn to embrace everything new and make the most of what you are capable of, and you will always be able to make the best choice for yourself. You cannot stumble when you are aware of what and why you are doing, even if you then have to get up again and move forward.

Photo: how to make the right choice

Top 7 how to make the right choice

  • You can make a wise decision with the right information. And it doesn’t matter whether this concerns some general issues, such as training or place of work, or purely individual ones: achieving success or happiness in your personal life. Before making a choice, study any available data on your topic, everything you can find. Read the stories of those who have experienced similar things. This will allow you to get a more complete picture of all existing options for getting out of this situation. And even if they don’t fit, you can always use them to develop the one you need.
  • It is equally important to learn how to use the information received. This will not only reduce the time it takes to implement your own plans, but will also give you strength in a difficult situation. Nothing scares a person more than uncertainty. Having a large baggage of a wide variety of knowledge, you can use it in the most unexpected cases, thereby reducing risks. It is easy to benefit from any information if you train yourself to perceive it not as external noise, but to be ready to hear, read or see what is worth applying in your life. For example, you want to earn a million. Take a closer look at articles dedicated to people who managed to achieve this. Maybe one of their ideas or concepts will suit you too, and who knows if it won't turn out to be a real goldmine.
  • To make it easier to imagine the future, write down on a piece of paper what you want to get from a certain situation. Which choice will satisfy your interests and which will satisfy the rest of the participants. Think about how each of the possible options can affect your future plans, tasks and goals. Evaluate them in terms of importance and the benefits they will bring. Choose the one you like best. After analyzing all the components, evaluate how important each of them is for all participants, and especially for you. At this moment, you will feel whether you want to take care of yourself exclusively or whether this is the case when caring for another will bring much more joy than your own benefit, although we do good deeds for our own sake.
  • It’s difficult to choose, despite all the faith in yourself, think about how this or that decision will affect the future. What will change after you do exactly that. Will this cause much damage, will it bring success, what new tasks or difficulties may arise, what will be required to solve them. Run through possible scenarios in your head, analyze them, imagine the biggest problems that could arise, and listen to yourself. After such a close and detailed study, you will know exactly which option is the most acceptable and safe.
  • Learn to compare the pros and cons. The choice with more advantages is considered more correct. But sometimes our fears prevent us from correctly assessing the prospects that open up. For example, you want to move to another city or change jobs, your inner self begins to protest because you are trying to get out of your comfort zone. A lot of positive aspects immediately arise in the existing situation, from which, in fact, you are tired, but despite this, you begin to doubt and refuse what you need. And there is nothing to counter these doubts, because you know nothing about how these fundamental changes will affect your future life. The decision in such a situation is best made based on how great your need for change is, how much stronger it is than the fear of the unknown.
  • Once you have thought through the most likely scenarios, imagine their implementation step by step. Think through in great detail what will happen if you go one way or another. There is no other way to ensure that you have taken into account all known risks and are prepared to do everything in your power.
  • The right choice most often depends on whether you are able to understand what you are giving up when you decide to do this and not otherwise. Only when a person gains more than he loses does he determine whether he made the right decision. After all, only then does he always win.

There are no people who could accurately predict what changes will happen in their lives if they try to achieve what they want in one way or another or give it up altogether. It is impossible to live without mistakes and wrong actions; we are not given the opportunity to be perfect. We are people with all our advantages and disadvantages, which some are able to fight, but others are not. But we have the power to take responsibility for everything, no matter what we do or say. And then you yourself will not even notice how you will learn to trust your intuition, and any choice you make will be the most correct at a certain time and in a certain place.

“When you have to make a choice,
and you don’t do it, that’s also a choice.”

William James

Every day a person has to make decisions make elections from several possible options. And this is not an easy task.

A person is constantly faced with choices - what to wear, what to eat, how to spend the day, and so on. Such choices are easy to make.

But what about more global solutions:

  • When and where to go on vacation?
  • Where to live? Buy a house or apartment?
  • Which educational institution should I go to?
  • Should I stay at my current job or accept a tempting offer?
  • With whom to cast your destiny?

There are many such questions, everyone has their own. And as soon as one issue is resolved, a new one arises.

And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing decisions until later.

Which solution to the problem should you choose and which should you refuse? Who should you ask for advice and what advice should you listen to? The more complex the issue, the more difficult it is to make a choice.

In this article you will learn how to learn to make the right choice and what will help you not to hesitate and make decisions with confidence. wise decisions.

Your life is a reflection of your choices

A person's life is shaped by his values, actions, decisions and actions.

Look where you are now, at what point in your life journey. What you have and what is missing in your life. This is all the results of your elections.

This is the law of effect through which your reality changes and is built.

Everything that is in your life, everything that happens in it, is all you once created through your actions and choices.

One step at a time

On the way to a goal, a person constantly makes many different choices. And at every step of the way, the initial result depends on these small options and choices.

For example: On the path of life, a person encountered an obstacle, let’s call it figuratively - “a large stone - a boulder.” And this obstacle must be removed.

A person just needs to make a choice on how to move forward. And he has at least three options - to climb over this boulder, go around it, or move it out of the way.

A person makes a decision to remove the boulder from the road. And here again, options for resolving the issue arise.

You can try to move the boulder yourself. You can, to use more physical force, call a group of people for help. Or you can use technology.

The man thought and decided that using the technique was the best option for him.

The necessary equipment can be purchased, rented, or simply used by agreement for free or by barter. And so on.

Each option has its own possibilities for solving the issue that has arisen. And at each stage you can turn in any direction the person needs.

There is also always the possibility turn back and not overcome obstacles. This is also a choice.

Why is it so difficult to make a choice?

It is usually up to the person to make the decision fears get in the way and doubts. Such fears are born from past situations already experienced and from the unknown of the future.

From past experience, a person is afraid of repeating the mistakes he has made because he remembers the pain he experienced. In such a situation, it is difficult for a person to let go of the past, and he hangs there.

A person is afraid of the future because he does not know what awaits him ahead. The unknown scares him.

As a result, the person refuses opportunities because of fears and uncertainty, because some troubles await.

And only being in the “Here and Now” state is a person able to calmly make a choice.

Advice to those who do not know how to listen to intuition, use this practice as often as possible, practice on simple situations.

Remember a time when you were faced with choosing something important, listened to your intuition, and it did not let you down. As time passed, you realized that you made the right choice.

Remember this feeling when you made a decision. Let it be the standard.

Have you ever received a gift for which you thanked through gritted teeth, and after some time you realized how lucky you were with this thing? Often we do not immediately assess the significance of events in our lives correctly. How can we learn to make the right decisions, giving our time and attention to what truly deserves it because of its ability to make us happy? Many things can look tempting, and it’s not so easy to figure out which ones to focus on now and which ones to put off, perhaps until the next life. After all, you can’t be two different people at the same time, just like you can’t be in two different places.

Perspective

The most important thing here is the ability to see things in perspective. The role of momentary sensations is also important; sometimes we set them as our goal. However, more often than not, something else turns out to be more important - what happens to us after. After we talked to this person. Ate this food. We watched the film. They did something. The meaning and influence of various events on us only becomes apparent over time.

Do you know the popular consolation - “Think, will you remember this in 5 years?” The secondary immediately fades into the background, but the main thing remains in sight. But sometimes we are so absorbed in what is happening to us that we forget to answer this question.

Regarding perspective, it is worth remembering its two dimensions: depth and finitude.

Depth

What does this mean on a life-wide scale? Yes, our life is not one day, but each individual day, one way or another, reflects it entirely. Do you want it to be like this? all your life? Would you choose this for your whole life? How will this affect your future destiny, since you will continue to live with this choice? Answering these questions when making a decision will show you care about yourself.

Limb

And this is a common method of thinking about death, remembering limited time human life. Steve Jobs shared his experience of using it in his famous speech to Stanford graduates.

Our existence is not an infinite number of days. We rarely think about this because it is not easy to understand and accept the fact of our mortality. That the day will come when we will be gone. And the sun will continue to rise in the morning, the birds will continue to sing, but for someone else. Yes, it’s not easy to even think about it, let alone fully experience it! However, it is quite effective. After all it is the limitations of something that make it so valuable. In this case, it is our time. And, fully aware of this, we will make the right choices in life much more often.

Observation

The next point is probably already familiar to you. Listen to yourself. This is a skill that can and should be developed in oneself. For some, this can be very difficult, because to observe you need to freeze for a while. Then you will be able to realize how something affects you. Knowing whether something specific is beneficial or harmful to you is very valuable.

Everyone has their own gradation of sensations that cause certain phenomena: “bad”, “normal”, “good”, “yes, this is just my heaven on earth”! In addition to assessing the pleasantness of experiences, there is another side. How does this affect us? Who do we turn into as a result?

There are things that are incredibly tempting, but we can easily see that contact with them pulls us down.

And if we don’t see it, then those around us will tell us about it. Therefore, when making a choice, it is important to distinguish what level of pleasure you are experiencing - elation and enthusiasm or pure pleasure, in which there is even something animalistic.

Learn to see

Sometimes things turn out differently. Something puzzles us at first: " Why do I need this?", - and only then, having recognized and appreciated, we find ourselves filled with gratitude. Moreover, it does not have to be some kind of misfortune, which then suddenly unexpectedly turns into happiness. No, rather something, at first glance, insignificant and defiant in its the appearance of some irritation in our lives.

Usually it becomes clear quite quickly what's what. After all, it doesn’t take much time for a wolf to shed his sheep’s clothing, if that’s what he is. It’s the same with positive events that happen unexpectedly. Unless we ourselves prevent them from revealing themselves to us in all their beauty by complaining about their unfulfilled hopes. We thought this was good for us, but we got something else, perhaps even better, but we don’t want to admit it, because first we need to figure out why our (albeit more modest) desires were ignored.

Sometimes we are too caught up in protecting our importance to accept that we are actually much luckier than we bargained for. But when this finally happens, our heart is filled with joy and our soul with gratitude. Appreciate unplanned events like these.Things that suddenly came and made you happy. This will help you better recognize situations leading to them in the future and make the right choices in life.

Knowing yourself

What other skills are useful when you need to make a choice about what to give your attention and time to? First of all, it is knowing yourself. It is knowledge, because we talked about knowledge above - what brings you satisfaction, joy, etc. Cognition is an open process. It means you know something, but you never say it. You are always ready to try new ideas about yourself.

After all, our tastes and preferences change over time, and you may discover traits and predispositions in yourself that you had not noticed before. Until some events, for example, pull them from your depths to the surface. You may suddenly realize what you would like to do, what you would like to realize yourself in. Such knowledge, even at the dream level, is already a great happiness if the knowledge is genuine. When you know, and learn anew every day, who you are, it will be easy for you to make the right choices in your life, no matter what it is about.

Flexibility

To make the right choice, it is important to be able to calmly accept losses. You can't cook scrambled eggs without breaking eggs! To make a profit, you must first invest something. To hear a “yes,” you must have the strength to go through a certain number of “nos.” Losses are inevitable.

By accepting this and not considering it "in vain", we become truly flexible and capable of making the right choices in the most incredible circumstances of life.

Respect for what's important

The essence of being able to make good choices comes down to understanding what is important to you in life and respecting it. Pay attention to the issue of your own values. Not “for show” or to be moral - you personally need this. In order to live your life in such a way that you don’t feel sorry for parting with it or exchanging it, when the time comes, for the next one. Even if it’s good, even if it’s better, but different. Because this is your life lived.

You always make the right choice yourself. Advice, opinions, views of others can help. But not by making it for you - it’s easier to make choices in life if you know what options are available.

The only right choice that I would like to make a priori for you is self-respect. It's hard to live when you don't respect yourself. It’s difficult to build relationships with people when you can’t treat them with respect—and how can you do otherwise when you don’t respect yourself. It’s hard to believe in someone’s good attitude towards you.

So if you don't know where to start when making any important choice, start with this: respect yourself.

And this means respecting those things that are important to you. Take the time you need to figure this out, you have the right to do so. And while you do this, others will wait without any questions.

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