Conversation with Abbot Theodore (Yablokov) about the external decoration of graves, Orthodox tradition and true benefits for the soul.
– Father Theodore, you’ve probably seen: monuments are often erected along roads, at accident sites, sometimes even with fences. How does this correspond to the Orthodox tradition?
– The tradition of putting up crosses outside the cemetery, installing worship crosses at specially marked places, for example, at crossroads or at the entrance to a village, has been in Rus' from time immemorial. This was done so that a person, seeing the worship cross, would think and pray. Sometimes churches were built at the site of a tragedy. The Church has always tried to consecrate such places so that people would pray here with a special feeling, remembering the Lord and remembering the departed - their dead relatives. Apparently, installing crosses at the scene of death in an accident has the same meaning: so that, when passing the scene of the tragedy, a person would pray for the deceased, and at the same time simply slow down. This can save you from another tragedy. But, of course, it is not worth abusing such things and making duplicate cemeteries along the roads, because a grave cross should be installed at the burial site, rather than at the site of death. But what is completely inappropriate is when rudders, wreaths and all sorts of extraneous things that are not related to prayer are attached to poles.
– Is it right to lay wreaths in cemeteries?
– This question cannot be answered unequivocally. It all depends on what meaning is intended by those who bring wreaths. The ancient Romans had a custom in May to lay roses on the graves of their deceased ancestors. Unfortunately, this pagan practice came to our land at the end of the 19th century, which led to the fact that the Holy Synod in 1889 was forced to ban wreaths and inscriptions on them at funerals. At the same time, a decision was made to prohibit secular music during burial. The Bolsheviks who came to power revived and strengthened the funeral tradition of the pagans, displacing the remnants of the Christian understanding of burial. For example, Lenin's funeral looked more like a flower and wreath show, despite the fact that it was winter, than a normal farewell to a deceased person.
The outwardly similar, but completely different in meaning, Orthodox tradition of seeing off and remembering the dead with flowers and ritual wreaths originates in early Christianity. The first followers of Christ, bringing fresh flowers and wreaths to the tombs of the dead, expressed hope for resurrection and eternal life, and also symbolically emphasized the Christian virtues of the deceased. Nowadays, on special days of commemoration of fallen soldiers, His Holiness the Patriarch, bishops and clergy lay wreaths on their graves with great feeling and prayer. But, firstly, it must be made of fresh flowers, and secondly, an obligatory element of the floral composition of the wreath is a cross. In fact, a cross of flowers is laid. And this has a deep meaning - honoring memory and prayer.
But, alas, so far our modern tradition in this matter is far from Christian.
– You emphasized that the flowers should be fresh. But no matter which cemetery you walk through, all the graves are buried in artificial flowers and wreaths...
– According to the established tradition, which has absorbed the spirit of living faith, living Church, living love, the flowers in the church must be alive. Artificial flowers are not allowed in the house of God. And the grave, as a kind of projection, as a small place of our prayer for the departed, from a spiritual point of view, should also have only living flowers, living remembrances. You and I talk all the time about the fact that our faith is alive, and that our love must be alive. Because the faith of Christ is a living faith in fulfilling the commandments of God. And our living faith wants everything around us to be alive, including at the graves of the departed. From time immemorial in Russia, only fresh flowers, shrubs and branches of coniferous trees were used at mourning events. A special place in the mourning tradition was occupied by spruce, pine, and juniper - evergreen plants symbolizing eternal life. The custom of covering the path of the funeral procession with coniferous branches is still preserved in various regions of Russia. And artificial flowers, wreaths, as well as wreaths without a cross, are already a legacy of the Soviet era. Plastic or rag flowers are a symbol of artificial existence, not living life.
– Or maybe it’s a plastic obsession on graves? – a consequence of our surrogate feelings? Everything around has become unreal, maybe that’s why they put artificial wreaths because our feelings are also partly false, tuned to the external effect, and not to the inner essence?
– I wouldn’t say so. Usually people don’t even think about what flowers they should bring and what the point is. Firstly, they live without thinking, according to an established algorithm. If they were explained how to do it correctly, perhaps it would resonate in their souls.
Secondly, poverty may also be the reason, especially for the elderly. They carry those flowers that they have enough money for. Thirty rubles was enough for an artificial flower - the grandmother carried it. But she does it from the heart, although not entirely correctly from the point of view of Orthodoxy. But maybe she does acts of mercy and prayer for the deceased, which is much more necessary for his soul than a living flower.
But the main reason is that people are not enlightened, they are cut off from the Church and the spirit of Orthodoxy.
– When and how should you visit a cemetery? And is there a need to frequently visit the burial site if relatives regularly commemorate the deceased in church?
– Father Ulyan Krechetov, confessor of the Moscow diocese, once gave the following example: Saint Philaret of Moscow, after his death, appeared to his relatives and said: “Please come to my grave, put things in order there.” Thus, the deceased ask their relatives to look after their graves. That is, caring for a grave is an opportunity to pay tribute to the memory of the deceased and express your feelings. But this is far from the most important means, of course. The main thing remains prayer. First of all - in the temple, then - at the grave itself. Coming to the cemetery, our main task is to devote this time not to some fictitious conversation with the deceased. We can only talk in prayer for the deceased. If a loved one of the deceased enters into a direct “dialogue” at the grave, he begins a conversation with an unknown person. Sometimes this leads to illusions, because of which a person falls under demonic power.
Why is this happening? Yes, because, firstly, such a person has the wrong spiritual structure. He believes that the deceased is lost to him and is in some kind of isolation. But the Church says the opposite: one should not grieve for the dead, because death is birth in Eternity. It is no coincidence that the funeral service itself is conducted by priests not in black mourning clothes, but in white vestments. A sacrament such as Baptism is akin to a funeral service. Baptism is birth into spiritual Christian life, and funeral service is into eternal life.
We sinners cannot understand this, but the first Christians rejoiced when one of them died. Of course, the death of a loved one resembles a surgical operation: some part of the spiritual body is cut off from us, the living. And this division brings a lot of pain. But spiritual task a person who survived the death of a relative and remained in Church Militant, is the realization that spiritual ties with the deceased are not interrupted. Previously, here on earth, we talked with this man and prayed for him. No one prevents us from loving him even after death, praying for his soul and performing acts of mercy. The Holy Fathers say that alms and deeds done in memory of the departed bring them great consolation *. This is the real, true memory of the deceased, and not the luxurious arrangement of the burial site.
– But there are people who practically live in the cemetery: either the grave needs to be cleaned, then the monument needs to be put in order, or the fence needs to be corrected.
– The grave is the place of resurrection of the dead on the Day of Judgment. And, of course, we must keep it clean. But there is no need to constantly go to the cemetery. Such preoccupation with a burial place can occur in people who do not separate soul and body. It seems to them that the person was buried entirely. Thank God, such distorted perception does not happen often. It’s bad if grieving people do not realize their dependence on visiting the cemetery and visit it almost every day. However, as a rule, they do not enter the temple! Such people do not need God, and the Church does not need. They only want their deceased relative. Passing by the temple, those grieving, oddly enough, categorically do not want to visit the place where they can directly help the soul of the deceased.
– Are there any rules for arranging graves?
– It is best to place an icon of the Savior on the tombstone cross. And if you want a photograph of the deceased to be in the cemetery, then it is better to place it on the side of the fence. Then such an uncomfortable situation will not arise when the priest at a memorial service is forced to almost pray to the deceased instead of icons! A person needs to turn from contemplating the burial place to contemplating God, to prayer and communication with Him. After all, it is through prayer that we can bring comfort to the deceased.
A photograph of the deceased on a crucifix is blasphemy. But even greater blasphemy is placing his photograph of the house in the icon row, next to the images! In fact, there should be a clear division: Christ, the saints of the Church of God and our relatives for whom we pray. There should also be an honorable place for them, but in a different place.
It happens that the parents of a deceased baby go to the other extreme: they bring toys to the child’s grave and, along with them, it turns out, part of his inner world. These things, which are not at all useful for the soul, are transferred not only to the cemetery, but also to one’s own soul. They distract parents from the main thing – prayer. Because when you come to a grave where there are a lot of toys, it is impossible to pray, everything reminds you of the loss. It is much more useful to place an icon, instead of bitter tears, bring the priest and pray. In fact, all the souls of infants are in the rite of funeral service and are called blessed, that is, already freed from suffering. Therefore, parents themselves are more in need of commemorating deceased babies.
The same can be said about expensive monuments and countless wreaths. When we come to the temple of God and bring fresh flowers to the icon, we show a normal religious feeling. It’s another matter when wealthy people spend huge amounts of money on mountains of artificial wreaths, in which the graves are literally buried. And the grave itself is not visible behind this “splendor” at the funeral service. But at the same time, there are beggars sitting nearby in the cemetery, cars with expensive wreaths driving past them and not stopping...
The Lord cannot be amazed by the rich decoration of graves, but he can be amazed by sacrifice and love for people in need and for the Church of God. This should be realized by those people who, instead of helping the deceased with deeds of mercy, satisfy their own vanity, feed their passions, justifying themselves by the fact that in this way they show love for the deceased. In fact, they do not love the deceased, but themselves!
Those who arrange graves so that everything is respectable, expensive and prestigious only harm the soul of the deceased and drive themselves into sin. It is unfortunate when the last refuge of a loved one becomes a place of self-affirmation and pride for his relatives.
– There is a category of people who take care in advance about a comfortable place in the cemetery – closer to the exit or to the church, on the central alley, next to famous people. What should be the attitude towards choosing a place in a cemetery?
– If you understand that the grave is not the last apartment where the deceased lives, but a place of resurrection, then everything will fall into place. After all, God will resurrect from any place. Moreover, convenience, prestige, and rich decorations of graves will not have any meaning for the Last Judgment. All this tinsel is needed exclusively by the living.
We know examples of attitudes towards the burial places of many saints. For example, the great holy ascetic, the Monk Nil Sorsky, dying, left a will to his disciples in which he asked that his body be thrown into the forest to be devoured by wild beasts and buried without honor with the words: “For the body has sinned much against God.” We see that the saints cared much more about the fate of their souls than about the burial place. They understood that the meaning and essence are not in the burial place. But modern people are far from such high spiritual reasoning and, unfortunately, are often guided by vanity considerations and convenience.
– When is it customary to visit a cemetery?
– Firstly, these are days of general church commemoration, on which you need to visit both the temple and cemeteries: parental Saturdays throughout the year (Radonitsa, Trinity and Dimitrievskaya parental Saturdays), as well as parental Saturdays associated with Great Lent (meat and Lenten parental Saturdays ). Secondly, it is possible and necessary to remember the deceased on the day of his death, that is, on the day of his birth into eternal life. If we want to remember a person according to church rules, it is necessary on this day to go to the temple of God and invite a priest to the grave in order to pray more earnestly for the soul of the deceased. Memorable dates are also suitable for prayerful remembrance: birthday, Angel Day. On these days, it is also necessary to order a church commemoration and invite a priest to the grave. If the priest is not around, now, thank God, in many prayer books there is the rite of litia performed by a layman. You just need to take a prayer book and pray with all your heart. When it is not possible to visit the grave, you can read the litany and kathisma of the Psalter about the deceased at home in front of the prayer corner. All this will serve as a great consolation for relatives and for the deceased.
– What should a monument look like so as not to contradict Orthodox traditions?
- Of course, it must be a cross. It can be wooden or stone. The cross reminds us of the cross that the deceased carried throughout his earthly life. It would be good if an epitaph with deep spiritual meaning was written on it. Nowadays, stone headstones are also allowed.
But no matter what the monument is, we must not forget that the souls of the deceased do not need tombstones and epitaphs, but our prayers. We are all here temporarily. Both grave crosses and cemeteries are not eternal. And the monument only makes sense for as long as people pray for the soul of the one whose ashes lie under it. Therefore, the burial place should be a place where it would be convenient to pray and where everything would be conducive to turning to God...
– And all these wonderfully beautiful cemetery sculptures in the form of angels – where did such a tradition come from? And how appropriate is it on a grave, unless, of course, we are talking about some famous person whose resting place should be highlighted?
– Eye-catching sculptures and pantheons have been known since the Renaissance; they existed in the godless Soviet era, but they were especially popular in the 1990s. All this has nothing to do with Christianity, because the burial place is a place of prayer. As a rule, there is no place for sculptures in the Orthodox church tradition. If you look from a secular point of view, then for some people such sculptures give a certain individuality, some kind of association with the deceased. For example, on one monument in the cemetery next to our Church of All Saints in Klimovsk, a basketball basket with a ball is depicted. This has nothing to do with spiritual life, but for those close to the deceased, it probably means something.
– Do epitaphs on monuments have any meaning?
– Epitaph is a wonderful and necessary tradition. This is not a bunch of words, as someone might think, it is written with meaning and should make you think. And it’s even better if this phrase responds with prayer, an ardent appeal to God. An epitaph generally makes sense only if it awakens prayer for the deceased. And if the words on the monument deify the deceased himself or serve as a message to the deceased: “We remember you” or “We remember. We love you. We are grieving,” then there is little sense in this. Who do they turn to in this case? Will the deceased really get up and read what was written?
And there are also epitaphs of this kind: “I lived gloriously, well. Thank you all for your attention." And what is this for? Does such a text help to think about the soul? The epitaph with the words of the Gospel will certainly touch the soul of a person, and he will pray for the deceased, so that the Lord will grant him consolation. The purpose of the epitaph is to call people to prayer for forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.
– Do we really need a fence around the grave and a bench with a table? At the cemetery next to your temple, for example, they even offer “ritual shops.” How is that?
– Just imagine: it’s a 3-kilometer walk from the city to our cemetery. People came to pray, to work, to weed something. Why not sit and relax on a bench near the grave? There's nothing wrong with that. And put something on the table at the same time, refresh yourself, eat. But, of course, this is not necessary in order to sit on a bench and arrange a libation at the grave, or leave food on the table for the deceased.
– Father Theodore, you probably paid attention to the coffin “splendor” of modern funerals - there are coffins almost with air conditioning, with rear-view windows. Is this the same unhealthy measure you were talking about?
– For many, luxurious funeral attributes are an opportunity to show their level of wealth. They say, “I’m from such and such a society, and the coffin should correspond to my status.” That’s exactly what they call it – a Eurocoffin, like a European-quality renovation. It’s strange that they don’t order “European funeral services” for such coffins ( laughs).
Although traditionally in Rus' it was not customary to “show off” either coffins or other attributes at funerals. Even great saints were buried in simple, rough-hewn coffins made of wood. And monks are still buried according to this tradition.
– Where does modern man get all this from? Don’t you think that expensive funerals, luxurious coffins and monuments are to some extent echoes of paganism? The desire to “buy off” the soul of the deceased, to appease the deceased so that he does not bother him from the other world?
– Probably, there are such performances, but I think not often. Sometimes the relatives of the deceased believe that if they did not give him something during his lifetime or offended him, now they can compensate for everything with an expensive monument or hearse. That is, in some cases these offerings are made out of guilt.
But in most cases this is done for vanity reasons: to show the level of wealth, to emphasize one’s social status. Moreover, the further people are from the Church, the more important this external side is for them.
– So what should we think about the funeral industry? After all, this is where this external part begins.
“We Orthodox Christians dress in clothes made by industry, not by monks in a monastery. We use phones and cameras – this is also well-established production. But there is an industry that serves a good Orthodox cause, and there is an industry for the corruption of souls.
Why shouldn’t an Orthodox person in a difficult situation resort to the help of funeral agents or companies that can organize a funeral professionally and with dignity? But it is best to choose such companies based on recommendations from friends, so as not to fall for grabbers who will shamelessly profit from grief.
When preparing for ritual events, it is important not to go to extremes and vanity. In everything you need to know when to stop. After all, as the wise Russian proverb says: “You will not surprise God with the riches of the coffin.” For the soul of the deceased, first of all, the prayers of neighbors and the Church are important, as well as works of mercy and almsgiving. This must not be forgotten under any circumstances. The spiritual is above the external and material.
* See, in particular, “The Sermon about those who have fallen asleep in the faith, about the benefits that the Liturgies performed for them and the alms given to them bring to them” by St. John of Damascus.
We are talking about a sacred place where the bodies of the departed rest until the future Resurrection. Even paganism considers tombs to be sacred and inviolable places. As for Christianity, from ancient times there is a custom of marking the burial place with a mound and the victorious banner of our salvation - the Holy Life-Giving Cross.
It is drawn on the tombstone, placed over the tombstone.
The cross on the grave of an Orthodox Christian is a symbol of immortality and resurrection. At the grave it is placed at the feet of the deceased so that the face of the deceased is turned towards the crucifix. It is necessary to ensure that the Cross is not askew, keep it clean and paint it on time.
In Orthodoxy, dead Christians are called deceased - "retired" or deceased - "asleep" until the Great Hour of the Resurrection, when they rise from the grave, "resurrect". The grave is a temporary refuge, a burial vault and a place of future resurrection, the rebirth of a new life. Therefore, the grave, like the Cross, should be kept clean and tidy. A cross, be it made of metal or wood, is more appropriate for the resting place of an Orthodox Christian than expensive monuments and marble tombstones. But the solution to this very delicate issue is a personal matter and is decided by each family individually. And it is not entirely moral and ethical to blame relatives for an unassuming tombstone made of metal or even for the absence of one at all, as well as for “defiantly immodest” monuments.
How to behave correctly at a grave
Arriving at the grave, according to Orthodox custom, you need to light a candle and read a prayer appropriate to the occasion. Then the burial site must be cleaned up - pull out weeds, remove fallen leaves, if necessary, refresh the paint on the fence, straighten the cross. After order has been restored, it is worth keeping silent and remembering the deceased. Sometimes you hear quiet speeches addressed to someone who lies underground - if your soul desires it, this is completely acceptable.
But as for drinking alcohol at a grave, the Christian Church categorically prohibits this! The memory of the deceased is especially cruelly insulted if vodka is poured on the grave. There is no need to leave food there; it is better to give it to those in need. A glass of vodka with a piece of bread placed on the grave is also considered a relic of paganism.
It is customary to visit burial places on certain days when the Church commemorates all Orthodox Christians who have passed away from the ages.
Special Cemetery Visit Days
- Meat Saturday- eight days before the start of Lent, on the eve of the Last Judgment Week.
- Parents' Saturdays- in the second, third and fourth weeks of Lent.
- Trinity Parents' Saturday- on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension.
- Radonitsa (Radunitsa)- Easter commemoration of the dead, Tuesday in the second week after Easter.
- Dmitrievskaya Parents' Saturday- the day of prayer for all soldiers, the Saturday preceding November 8 - the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Dmitry of Thessaloniki.
- Commemoration of deceased warriors- May 9 (April 26, old style).
By and large, the deceased does not need a coffin or headstones; this is just a pious observance of age-old traditions, an expression of respect for the deceased. Prayer for the soul of the deceased is the most significant and important thing we can do for loved ones who have passed on to another world.
Visiting a cemetery is the duty of every Christian. After all, when we come to the resting place, we not only show respect to our loved ones, but also maintain contact with our ancestors. Important and obligatory days for visiting the graves of the dead, established by the Orthodox churches, are the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after death and in the year of death. These days it is necessary to go to the temple, light candles for the repose of the soul of the deceased, order a memorial service and be sure to visit the grave where a close relative rests.
In addition to the main days of remembrance of the dead, there is another church day for visiting the cemetery - Radonitsa. As a rule, Radonitsa is celebrated on the ninth day (Monday or Tuesday) after St. Thomas Sunday. On this day, people visit the graves of the deceased to remember them and congratulate them on the Resurrection of the Lord. Colored eggs and Easter cakes are brought to their graves. The Church recommends visiting the grave on the day of the deceased angel, St. Demetrius and Trinity parental Saturdays.
When to come to the cemetery?
The continuity of generations is ideally shown in the visit of the tombstones of the older generation to the younger. One should come to the cemetery not only to calm the soul and inner peace, but also to put the graves in order. Caring for the graves of one’s ancestors, loved ones and relatives has always been embedded in Orthodox traditions. It is necessary to regularly look after the graves, remove fallen leaves or snow, plant new plants, wash and clean the tombstone and monument, renew the paint on the fence, light candles, bring and place fresh flowers. So, we show our love for our family and honor their memory.
Our advice: “Go to the cemetery when you want and consider it necessary.” For example, a person died suddenly and your soul cannot find peace, then in this case visiting the grave of the deceased person will ease your suffering. Therefore, you can come to the cemetery any day. It is important for the soul of the deceased that they remember it, pray for it, speak well of it, give alms and make donations. It doesn’t matter when and at what time you come to the grave of a loved one. The most important thing is that he is always in your heart and you do not forget about his good deeds.
Parents' Saturday: what date?
The dates on which Orthodox Easter falls change annually and depend on the lunisolar calendar and the date of the vernal equinox. A simplified method for calculating the day of Easter was proposed back in the 18th century. The Gauss system (this German mathematician discovered a way to determine the next date of the Great Day) still works. Parents' Day - the time of remembrance of the dead, occurs on the ninth day after the beginning of Easter. Today it’s easier to open a web page and find when Easter and Parents’ Day 2016 are. This year we celebrate Easter on May 1, and according to custom, we commemorate our parents on May 10 (the ninth day after the bright holiday).
Parents' Day in 2016 - what date do we remember relatives?
According to established custom, Orthodox Christians visit cemeteries and graves of deceased relatives on the ninth day after Easter. (the church name for Parents' Day) involves “treating” the deceased. Relatives and friends of people who have left us leave Easter cakes, sweets, colored eggs (Easter eggs), and sweets on the graves. Such customs help us not to forget about the blessed memory of our loved ones who have passed into oblivion.
Parents' Saturdays 2016
In addition to Radonitsa, which comes this year on May 1, Orthodox Christians should remember other important dates of the calendar. There are few of them: these are parental Saturdays and other dates. These days we also remember our parents and grandparents. Before Easter and Parents' Day 2016 in March, there are two such dates: the 5th and 26th. In April, the church remembers the departed on the 2nd and 9th, during Lent. On June 16, people mourn those who died violent deaths and suicides, and children who died unbaptized. On June 18, the traditional parental Saturday for Trinity begins. Parents' Saturday November 5 (Dmitrievskaya) is the last one in 2016.
Parents' Day 2016: what date?
On Parents' Day it is customary to go to the cemetery
In all churches on Radonitsa, solemn services are held in the morning and evening hours. Before visiting the graves of loved ones, their relatives go to the church to give the clergyman a paper with the name of the deceased person. During the service for the repose, all names from the notes handed over are read out. Communion before visiting graves is not necessary, but recommended. Arriving at the burial site, the relatives of the deceased remove leaves, weeds and debris from his grave, and plant plants.
Is it necessary to leave alcohol on graves?
The customs of drinking alcoholic beverages in a cemetery and remembering relatives with a glass of strong alcoholic drink belong to pagan traditions. True believers avoid drinking even after Easter, and never do it in a cemetery. Real care for a person after his death is to clean his grave, the area around it, build a bench and table next to the burial.
Parents' Day 2016: what date is this year
Signs and traditions for Parents' Day
Repentance at the graves of loved ones is needed by the living, not the dead. Remembering our loved ones, we try not to do things that others would not want to remember. According to tradition, the entire period from Easter Sunday to Radonitsa does not commemorate the dead. It is believed that the dead rejoice at the resurrection of Jesus, and they should not be bothered. 9 days after Easter, dead souls return to their homes, and relatives of the deceased visit their graves, praying for their repose. If there is no opportunity to visit the cemetery, on this day candles are lit for the repose of the departed people in the church. You can also pray at home, distribute sweets to people, asking them to remember the person who has passed into oblivion. Radonitsa's colored eggs are green and yellow. It is believed that it is obligatory to remember loved ones, because people who have forgotten about their departed relatives will be forgotten forever themselves after their death.
Bright day of remembrance
Now you know what date to go to the cemetery. Radonitsa - Parents' Day 2016 - a date dedicated to bright sorrow. It reminds us that life is short, and we should live it in such a way that our loved ones remember only good things about us. Memory often erases the unseemly actions of our closest people, but only after they pass away. The peculiarity of our memory is to remind us only of bright moments from the lives of loved ones. Parents' days are a wonderful peaceful Orthodox tradition, observing which we involuntarily think only about goodness and the continuation of our lives in the hearts and prayers of our relatives. While we live in the memory of others, we truly remain with them.
The energy of a cemetery is very dangerous for a living person. Because of this statement, people, century after century, adhered to traditions associated with behavior in this place. To protect yourself from negativity, and not to endanger your own life and health, you need to know the signs about the cemetery. There are many of them. Even skeptics listen to them and adhere to them. The world of the dead is not to be trifled with, and the cemetery is their home. You can never say exactly what consequences this or that careless act on a person’s part may lead to, therefore it is advisable to pay more attention to these signs.
Everyone should know the rules of behavior in a cemetery
Specifics of behavior
The signs in the cemetery, like the place itself, have strong mystical properties. The biggest problems arise for those who desecrate graves or engage in theft. If a person accidentally stumbles near a grave, this does not bode well; trouble may soon overtake him. The meaning of the sign says that after the incident you should quickly leave the cemetery, wash your hands and face with holy water. The Lord's Prayer, read three times, will help protect you from unwanted consequences. It doesn’t matter where a person will do this near a cemetery or a temple, only his sincere thoughts are important.
Let's look at other common superstitions:
- do not talk out loud about your successes and achievements while in the cemetery. You can lose this by leaving everything here;
- don't count the money. If they fall by accident, do not hide them back in your wallet or pocket. Take them to the grave of a relative, maybe their namesake. This will help ward off possible poverty and premature death. Remember that any item dropped into a cemetery no longer belongs to its owner;
- You cannot bring things into the house from the cemetery, even valuable ones. By taking things from the dead, you can bring disaster and illness upon yourself or your loved ones. Handkerchiefs are left at the funeral site and cannot be taken outside the cemetery;
- It is prohibited to take photographs in the cemetery. The negative energy present in the photographs will remain with the person and no one knows what consequences this will lead to.
Broken headstone
The situation when monuments or crosses fall for no apparent reason does not bode well. This speaks of the deceased’s unfinished business in this world, something is bothering him and giving him no rest. Monuments damaged through no fault of man foreshadow the imminent death of another family member. A broken cross, a crack on the pedestal, subsiding earth that has formed a hole - all this may indicate that the relatives of the deceased should fear for their lives. By carefully examining the place of the collapsed earth, you can determine which person death is indicating:
- south side - to the death of a man;
- northern side - a woman will die;
- eastern side - the death of an elderly person;
- Western - the life of a small child is at risk.
A lopsided tombstone means trouble
Cat at the grave
According to one of the legends of our ancestors, souls transmit information to the world of the living through animals: birds, cats, dogs. The most mysterious and dangerous intermediary are cats.
In the house, after the death of one of the residents, the pets had to be isolated so that the spirit of the deceased would not have the opportunity to move into the body of his pet.
According to signs, the arrival of a cat in a cemetery can be interpreted as follows:
- if a cat walks near a grave or lies down on it, it is necessary to leave this place, it can have a strong, aura-destroying effect on a person;
- a cat with a black color - a witch on a walk or the unresolved soul of someone who died in sins;
- a white cat is the soul of a righteous person, it can portend illness or danger;
- A cat running past a grave does not foretell any trouble - it is someone’s soul that has come to see the deceased.
A cat in a cemetery should be treated with respect. You cannot hit or drive her away. It’s better to give her some kind of gift, so you will distract the animal from you.
A cat on a grave signals strong negative energy of the place
Allowed and prohibited days of visits
We always try to pay the maximum amount of attention and care to our family and friends. When a person dear to our hearts dies, we visit him and continue to work for his peace. Not everyone knows the rules for visiting a cemetery.
It's worth going to the cemetery:
- on the day of the funeral;
- on the third, ninth and fortieth day after burial;
- on the day of a person's death;
- on a memorial day;
- on Meat Saturday;
- on the second, third and fourth Saturdays of Lent;
- on the day before the celebration of the Holy Trinity;
- on the first Saturday in November.
You should not visit the cemetery:
- on the holidays of Easter, Annunciation, Nativity of Christ;
- You cannot celebrate Trinity in the cemetery; during this period you must visit a church site;
- Women should not visit the cemetery during the menstrual period or while pregnant.
Conclusion
Cemetery signs are a serious thing that should be treated with caution, even if you are not a superstitious person. You may not believe in omens, but you must be respectful when visiting the resting place of souls.
Each ritual that is associated with the dead did not appear by chance.
Think about it, it’s not without reason that people have adhered to these traditions for many centuries.
