" Hans, 11 years old, German. I don't want to be "German"!
The game of war itself jarred and even frightened me. I saw that Russian children were playing it enthusiastically even from the window of our new house in a large garden on the outskirts. It seemed crazy to me that boys 10-12 years old could play killing with such passion. I even talked about this with Hans’s class teacher, but quite unexpectedly, after listening to me carefully, she asked if Hans plays computer games with shooting and do I know what is shown on the screen? I was confused and couldn’t find an answer. At home, I mean, in Germany, I was not very happy with the fact that he sat a lot with such toys, but at least he was not drawn to the street, and I could be calm for him. Besides, computer game- this is not reality, but here everything happens to living children, doesn’t it? I even wanted to say this, but suddenly I acutely felt that I was wrong, for which I also did not have words. The class teacher looked at me very carefully, but kindly, and then said softly and confidentially: “Listen, it will be unusual for you here, understand. But your son is not you, he is a boy, and if you don’t stop him from growing up, like the children here, then nothing bad will happen to him - except maybe something unusual. But in fact, the bad things, I think, are the same both here and in Germany.” It seemed to me that this words of wisdom, and I calmed down a little.
Before, my son had never played war or even held a toy weapon in his hands. I must say that he did not often ask me for any gifts, being content with what I bought for him or what he himself bought with his pocket money. But then he very persistently began to ask me toy machine, because he doesn’t like to play with strangers, although he is given a weapon by one boy whom he really likes - he named the boy, and I disliked this new friend in advance. But I didn’t want to refuse, especially since, having sat through the calculations from the very beginning, I realized an amazing thing: life in Russia is cheaper than here, it’s just that its external surroundings and some kind of carelessness and unkemptness are very unusual. On the May weekend (there are several of them) we went shopping; new friend Hansa joined us, and I was forced to change my opinion about him, although not immediately, because he appeared barefoot, and on the street, walking next to the boys, I was taut like a string - it seemed to me every second that we were now They’ll just detain me, and I’ll have to explain that I’m not this boy’s mother. But despite him appearance, he turned out to be very well-mannered and cultured. In addition, in Australia I saw that many children also walk around in something like this.
The purchase was made with knowledge of the matter, with a discussion of weapons and even trying them on. I felt like the leader of a gang. In the end, we bought some kind of pistol (the boys called it, but I forgot) and a machine gun, exactly the same as what our German soldiers used in the last World War. Now my son was armed and could take part in hostilities.
Later I found out that fighting At first he was given a lot of grief. The fact is that Russian children have a tradition of dividing into teams in this game with the names of real peoples - as a rule, those with whom the Russians fought. And, of course, it is considered honorable to be “Russian”; due to the division into teams, fights even break out. After Hans brought his new weapon into the game characteristic appearance- he was immediately registered as a “German”. I mean, into Hitler's Nazis, which, of course, he didn't want.
They objected to him, and from a logical point of view it was quite reasonable: “Why don’t you want to, you’re German!” “But I’m not that German!” - my unfortunate son screamed. He had already watched several very unpleasant films on television and, although I understand that what was shown there is true, and we are actually to blame, it is difficult to explain this to an eleven-year-old boy: he flatly refused to be “that kind” of German.
Hans, and the whole game, was helped out by that same boy, my son’s new friend. I convey his words as Hans conveyed them to me - apparently, verbatim: “Then you know what?! We will all fight against the Americans together!”
This is a completely crazy country. But I like it here, and so does my boy.
Max, 13 years old, German. Burglary from a neighbor's cellar(not the first burglary on his account, but the first in Russia)
The local police officer who came to us was very polite. This is generally a common thing among Russians - they treat foreigners from Europe timidly, politely, and warily; it takes a lot of time to be recognized as “one of their own.” But the things he said scared us. It turns out that Max committed a CRIMINAL OFFENSE - BURGAL! And we are lucky that he is not yet 14 years old, otherwise the question of a real prison term of up to five years could be considered! That is, the three days that remained before his birthday separated him from the crime of full responsibility! We couldn't believe our ears. It turns out that in Russia, from the age of 14 you can actually go to prison! We regretted coming. To our timid questions—how is it possible, why should a child answer at such an age—the district police officer was surprised, we simply did not understand each other. We are used to the fact that in Germany a child is in a super-priority position, the maximum that would threaten Max for such a old homeland- preventive conversation. However, the district police officer said that it was unlikely that the court would have given our son a real prison sentence even after 14 years; this is very rarely done the first time for crimes not related to an attempt on personal safety. We were also lucky that the neighbors didn’t write a statement (in Russia this plays big role— more serious crimes are not considered without a statement from the injured party), and we won’t even have to pay a fine. This surprised us too - the combination of such a cruel law and such a strange position of people who do not want to use it. After hesitating just before leaving, the district police officer asked if Max was generally inclined to antisocial behavior. He had to admit that he was inclined, moreover, he didn’t like it in Russia, but this, of course, is connected with the period of growing up and should go away with age. To which the district police officer noted that the boy should have been torn out after his first prank, and that would be the end of it, and not wait until he grew into a thief. And left.
We were also struck by this wish from the mouth of the law enforcement officer. To be honest, we didn’t even think at that moment how close we were to fulfilling the officer’s wishes.
Immediately after he left, the husband talked to Max and demanded that he go to the neighbors, apologize and offer to work off the damage. A huge scandal began - Max flatly refused to do this. I won’t describe what happened next - after another very rude attack on our son, my husband did exactly as the district police officer advised. Now I realize that it looked and was more funny than it was actually harsh, but at the time it amazed me and shocked Max. When my husband let him go - himself shocked by what he had done - our son ran into the room. Apparently, it was catharsis - it suddenly dawned on him that his father was much stronger physically, that he had nowhere and no one to complain about “parental violence”, that he was REQUIRED to compensate for the damage himself, that he was one step away from a real trial and prison. In the room he cried, not for show, but for real. We sat in the living room like two statues, feeling like real criminals, moreover, taboo breakers. We waited for the demanding knock on the door. Terrible thoughts swarmed in our heads - that our son would stop trusting us, that he would commit suicide, that we had caused him serious mental trauma - in general, a lot of those words and formulas that we had learned in psychotrainings even before Max was born.
Max did not come out for dinner and shouted, still in tears, that he would eat in his room. To my surprise and horror, my husband replied that in this case Max wouldn’t get dinner, and if he didn’t sit at the table in a minute, he wouldn’t get breakfast either.
Max came out half a minute later. I've never seen him like this before. However, I didn’t see my husband like that either - he sent Max to wash and ordered, when he returned, to first ask for forgiveness, and then permission to sit at the table. I was amazed - Max did all this, gloomily, without raising his eyes to us. Before he started eating, the husband said: “Listen, son. Russians raise their children this way, and I will raise you this way. The nonsense is over. I don't want you to go to jail, I don't think you want that either, and you heard what the officer said. But I also don’t want you to grow up to be an insensitive slacker. And here I don’t care about your opinion. Tomorrow you will go to your neighbors with an apology and you will work where and how they say. Until you work off the amount you deprived them of. Do you understand me?"
Max was silent for several seconds. Then he looked up and answered quietly but clearly: “Yes, dad.”...
...You won’t believe it, but we not only no longer had the need for such wild scenes as the one that took place in the living room after the police officer left—it was as if our son had been replaced. At first I was even afraid of this change. It seemed to me that Max was holding a grudge. And only after more than a month I realized that there was nothing like that. And I also realized a much more important thing. In our house and at our expense lived for many years a small (and no longer very small) despot and slacker who did not trust us at all and did not look at us as friends, as those by whose methods we “raised” him convinced us “- he secretly despised us and skillfully used us. And it was we who were to blame for this - we were to blame for behaving with him the way the “authoritative specialists” inspired us to believe. On the other hand, did we have a choice in Germany? No, it wasn’t, I honestly tell myself. There, a ridiculous law stood guard over our fear and Max’s childish egoism. There is a choice here. We did it, and it turned out to be correct. We are happy, and most importantly, Max is really happy. He had parents. My husband and I have a son. And we have a FAMILY.
Mikko, 10 years old, Finnish. Snitched on classmates
Four of his classmates beat him up. As we understood, they didn’t beat us very badly, they knocked us down and hit us with backpacks. The reason was that Mikko came across two of them smoking in the garden behind the school. He was also offered to smoke, he refused and immediately informed the teacher about it. She punished little smokers by taking away their cigarettes and forcing them to wash the floors in the classroom (which in itself amazed us in this story). She didn’t name Mikko, but it was easy to guess who told about them.
The next day Mikko was beaten. Quite a lot. I couldn't find a place for myself. My husband also suffered, I saw it. But to our amazement and Mikko's joy, a day later there was no fight. He ran home very cheerful and excitedly told that he had done as his father ordered, and no one began to laugh, only someone muttered: “Enough, everyone has already heard...” The strangest thing in my opinion is that from that moment on the class He accepted our son completely as his own, and no one reminded him of that conflict.
Zorko, 13 years old, Serbian. About the carelessness of Russians
Zorko really liked the country itself. The fact is that he doesn’t remember what happens when there is no war, explosions, terrorists and other things. He was born just in time Patriotic War 99 and basically lived my whole life behind barbed wire in an enclave, and I had a machine gun hanging over my bed. Two shotguns with buckshot lay on a cabinet near the outer window. Until we registered two guns here, Zorko was in constant anxiety. He was also alarmed that the room’s windows overlooked the forest. In general, to find himself in a world where no one shoots except in the forest while hunting was a real revelation for him. Our eldest girl and younger brother Zorko accepted everything much faster and calmer due to their age.
But what struck and horrified my son most of all was that Russian children are incredibly careless. They are ready to be friends with anyone, as Russian adults say, “as long as the person is good.” Zorko quickly became friends with them, and the fact that he stopped living in constant anticipation of war is mainly their merit. But he never stopped carrying a knife with him, and even with his light hand almost all the boys in his class began to carry some kind of knives with them. Simply because boys are worse than monkeys, imitation is in their blood.
So this is about carelessness. There are several Muslims studying at the school different nations. Russian children are friends with them. From the very first day, Zorko set a boundary between himself and the “Muslims” - he does not notice them, if they are far enough away, if they are nearby - he bullies, pushes them away in order to go somewhere, sharply and clearly threatens with beatings even in response to an ordinary glance, saying that they have no right to look up at the Serb and the “right-winger” in Russia. Such behavior caused amazement among Russian children; we even had some, although small, problems with the school authorities. These Muslims themselves are quite peaceful, I would even say polite people. I talked to my son, but he answered me that I wanted to deceive myself and that I myself told him that in Kosovo they were also polite and peaceful at first, while there were few of them. He also told Russian boys about this many times and kept repeating that they were too kind and too careless. He really likes it here, he literally thawed out, but at the same time my son is convinced that war awaits us here too. And, it seems, he is preparing to fight in earnest.
Ann, 16 years old and Bill, 12 years old, Americans. What is work?
Offers to work as a babysitter caused people either bewilderment or laughter. Ann was extremely upset and very surprised when I explained to her, having become interested in the problem, that it is not customary for Russians to hire people to supervise children over 7-10 years old - they play on their own, go for walks on their own, and generally outside of school or some kind of clubs and sections left to their own devices. And for the children younger age Most often they are observed by grandmothers, sometimes by mothers, and only for very young children do wealthy families sometimes hire nannies, but these are not high school girls, but women with solid experience who make a living from this.
So my daughter was left without income. A terrible loss. Terrible Russian customs.
Through a short time Bill was hit as well. Russians are very strange people, they don’t mow their lawns and don’t hire children to deliver mail... The job that Bill found turned out to be “work on a plantation” - for five hundred rubles he spent half a day digging up a hefty garden with a hand shovel for some nice old woman. What he turned his hands into resembled bloody chops. However, unlike Ann, my son rather reacted to this with humor and already quite seriously noticed that this could become a good business once your hands get used to it, you just need to hang up advertisements, preferably in color. He offered to share with Ann in the weeding—again, manually pulling out the weeds—and they immediately quarreled.
Charlie and Charlene, 9 years old, Americans. Peculiarities of the Russian worldview in rural areas.
Russians have two unpleasant characteristics. The first is that during a conversation they try to grab your elbow or shoulder. The second is that they drink incredibly much. No, I know that in fact many peoples on Earth drink more than Russians. But Russians drink very openly and even with some pleasure.
However, these shortcomings seemed to be made up for by the wonderful area in which we settled. It was simply a fairy tale. True, myself locality resembled a settlement from a disaster movie. My husband said that it’s like this almost everywhere here and that you shouldn’t pay attention to it - the people here are good.
I didn't really believe it. And our twins were, it seemed to me, a little frightened by what was happening.
What completely horrified me was that on the very first day of school, when I was just about to pick up the twins in our car (it was about a mile to school), some not-so-sober man in a creepy, half-rusty jeep had already brought them straight to the house. , similar to old Fords. He apologized to me for a long time and in many words for something, referred to some holidays, showered praise on my children, said hello from someone and left. I attacked my innocent little angels, who were vigorously and cheerfully discussing the first day of school, with strict questions: didn’t I tell them enough that they should NEVER DARES EVEN CLOSE TO STRANGERS’ PEOPLE?! How could they get into this man’s car?!
In response, I heard that this was not a stranger, but the head of the school, who has golden hands and whom everyone loves very much, and whose wife works as a cook in the school canteen. I was frozen with horror. I gave my children to a brothel!!! And everything seemed so nice at first glance... Numerous stories from the press about the wild customs reigning in the Russian outback were spinning in my head...
...I won’t intrigue you any further. Life here has been truly wonderful, and especially wonderful for our children. Although I'm afraid I got a lot gray hair because of their behavior. It was incredibly difficult for me to get used to the very idea that my nine-year-old (and ten-year-old, and so on later) children, according to local customs, are considered, first of all, more than independent. They go for walks with the local kids for five, eight, ten hours - two, three, five miles away, into the forest or to a creepy, completely wild pond. That everyone here walks to and from school, and they soon began to do the same, I simply don’t mention anymore. And secondly, here children are largely considered common. They can, for example, go with the whole group to visit someone and immediately have lunch - not drink something and eat a couple of cookies, but have a hearty lunch, purely in Russian. In addition, virtually every woman who comes into her sight immediately takes responsibility for other people’s children, somehow completely automatically; For example, I learned to do this only in the third year of our stay here.
NOTHING EVER HAPPENS TO THE CHILDREN HERE. I mean - they are not in any danger from people. From none. IN big cities, as far as I know, the situation is more similar to the American one, but here it is so and exactly like that. Of course, children themselves can cause considerable harm to themselves, and at first I tried to somehow control this, but it turned out to be simply impossible. At first I was amazed at how soulless our neighbors were, who, when asked where their child was, answered quite calmly, “He’s running around somewhere, he’ll be there by lunchtime!” Lord, in America this is a judicial matter, such an attitude! It took a long time before I realized that these women were much wiser than me, and their children were much more adjusted to life than mine - at least as they were in the beginning.
We Americans pride ourselves on our skills, abilities, and practicality. But, having lived here, I realized with sadness that this was a sweet self-deception. Maybe it was like that once. Now we - and especially our children - are slaves of a comfortable cage, into the bars of which a current is passed that completely does not allow the normal, free development of a person in our society. If the Russians are somehow weaned off drinking, they will easily and without firing a single shot conquer the entire modern world. I declare this responsibly.
Adolf Breivik, 35 years old, Swede. Father of three children.
The fact that Russian adults can quarrel and make scandals, that under the influence of a hot hand they can blow up a wife, and a wife can whip a child with a towel - BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY ALL REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THEY FEEL BAD WITHOUT ANOTHER - in the head of a person converted to the standards accepted in our native lands simply do not fit. I won’t say that I approve of this; this is the behavior of many Russians. I don't think that beating your wife and physically punishing your children is Right way, and I myself have never done this and will not do it. But I just urge you to understand: family here is not just a word. Children run away from Russian orphanages to their parents. From our slyly named “replacement families” - almost never. Our children are so accustomed to the fact that they essentially do not have parents, that they calmly obey everything that any adult does to them. They are not capable of rebellion, escape, or resistance, even when it comes to their life or health - they are accustomed to the fact that they are the property not of the family, but of EVERYONE AT ONCE.
Russian children are running. They often flee into appalling living conditions. At the same time, in Russian orphanages it is not at all as scary as we are used to imagining. Regular and plentiful meals, computers, entertainment, care and supervision. Nevertheless, escapes “home” are very, very frequent and meet with full understanding even among those who, on duty, return children back to Orphanage. “What do you want? - they say words that are completely unimaginable for our police officer or guardianship worker. “That’s where the HOUSE is.” But we must take into account that in Russia there is not even close to the anti-family tyranny that reigns here. For a Russian child to be taken to an orphanage, it must actually be HORRIBLE in his family of origin, believe me.
It is difficult for us to understand that, in general, a child who is often beaten by his father, but at the same time takes him fishing with him and teaches him to use tools and tinker with a car or motorcycle, can be much happier and in fact much happier than a child whom his father never laid a finger on, but whom he sees for fifteen minutes a day at breakfast and dinner. This will sound seditious to modern western man, but it's true, believe my experience as a resident of two paradoxical different countries. We tried so hard, at someone’s unkind orders, to create a “safe world” for our children that we destroyed everything human in ourselves and in them. Only in Russia did I really understand, with horror, that all those words that are used in my old homeland, destroying families, are in fact a mixture of utter stupidity, generated by a sick mind and the most disgusting cynicism, generated by the thirst for rewards and the fear of losing one’s place in the guardianship authorities. By talking about “protecting children”, officials in Sweden - and not only in Sweden - are destroying their souls. They destroy shamelessly and madly. There I couldn't say it openly. Here I say: my unfortunate homeland is seriously ill with abstract, speculative “children’s rights”, for the sake of which people are killed happy families and living children are maimed.
Home, father, mother - for a Russian these are not just words and concepts. These are words-symbols, almost sacred spells.
It's amazing that we don't have this. We don't feel connected to the place we live in, even a very comfortable place. We don't feel a connection with our children, they don't need a connection with us. And, in my opinion, all this was taken from us on purpose. This is one of the reasons why I came here. In Russia, I can feel like a father and husband, my wife - a mother and wife, our children - beloved children. We are people free people, and not hired employees of the state limited liability corporation "Family". And it's very nice. It's comfortable purely psychologically. To such an extent that it makes up for a whole bunch of shortcomings and absurdities of life here.
Honestly, I believe that there is a brownie living in our house, left over from the previous owners. Russian brownie, kind. And our children believe in it."
The Ininsky rock garden is located in the Barguzin Valley. It was as if someone had deliberately scattered the huge stones or placed them deliberately. And in places where megaliths are located, something mysterious always happens.
One of the attractions of Buryatia is the Ininsky rock garden in the Barguzin Valley. It makes an amazing impression - huge stones scattered in disorder on a completely flat surface. It was as if someone had either scattered them on purpose, or had placed them with intent. And in places where megaliths are located, something mysterious always happens.
Power of nature
In general, “rock garden” is the Japanese name for an artificial landscape in which stones arranged according to strict rules play a key role. “Karesansui” (dry landscape) has been cultivated in Japan since the 14th century, and it appeared for a reason. It was believed that gods lived in places with a large accumulation of stones, as a result of which the stones themselves began to be given divine significance. Of course, now the Japanese use rock gardens as a place for meditation, where it is convenient to indulge in philosophical reflection.
And this is what philosophy has to do with it. The seemingly chaotic arrangement of stones is, in fact, strictly subject to certain laws. Firstly, the asymmetry and difference in the sizes of the stones must be observed. There are certain observation points in the garden, depending on the time when you are going to contemplate the structure of your microcosm. And the main trick is that from any observation point there should always be one stone that... is not visible.
The most famous rock garden in Japan is located in Kyoto, the ancient capital of the country of samurai, in the Ryoanji Temple. This is the refuge of Buddhist monks. And here in Buryatia, the “rock garden” appeared without human effort - its author is Nature itself.
In the southwestern part of the Barguzin Valley, 15 kilometers from the village of Suvo, where the Ina River emerges from the Ikat Range, this place is located with an area of more than 10 square kilometers. Significantly more than any Japanese rock garden - in the same proportion as a Japanese bonsai is smaller than a Buryat cedar. Here, large blocks of stone reaching 4-5 meters in diameter protrude from the flat ground, and these boulders go up to 10 meters deep!
Removing these megaliths from mountain range reaches 5 kilometers or more. What kind of force could scatter these huge stones over such distances? The fact that this was not done by a person became clear from recent history: a 3-kilometer canal was dug here for irrigation purposes. And here and there in the channel bed there are huge boulders that go down to a depth of 10 meters. They fought with them, of course, but to no avail. As a result, all work on the canal was stopped.
Scientists have put forward different versions origin of the Ininsky rock garden. Many people consider these blocks to be moraine boulders, that is, glacial deposits. Scientists call their ages different (E.I. Muravsky believes that they are 40-50 thousand years old, and V.V. Lamakin - more than 100 thousand years!), depending on which glaciation they are counting.
According to geologists, in ancient times the Barguzin depression was a freshwater shallow lake, which was separated from Lake Baikal by a narrow and low mountain bridge connecting the Barguzin and Ikat ridges. As the water level rose, a runoff formed, turning into a river bed that cut deeper and deeper into the hard crystalline rocks. It is known how storm water flows in the spring or after heavy rain erode steep slopes, leaving deep furrows in gullies and ravines. Over time, the water level dropped, and the area of the lake decreased due to the abundance of suspended material brought into it by rivers. As a result, the lake disappeared, and in its place there remained a wide valley with boulders, which were later classified as natural monuments.
But recently, Doctor of Geological and Mineralogical Sciences G.F. Ufimtsev suggested very original idea, which has nothing to do with glaciations. In his opinion, the Ininsky rock garden was formed as a result of a relatively recent, catastrophic, gigantic ejection of large blocky material.
According to his observations, glacial activity on the Ikat ridge manifested itself only in a small area in the upper reaches of the Turokchi and Bogunda rivers, while in the middle part of these rivers there are no traces of glaciation. Thus, according to the scientist, the dam of the dammed lake along the Ina River and its tributaries broke. As a result of a breakthrough from the upper reaches of the Ina, a large volume of blocky material was thrown into the Barguzin Valley by a mudflow or ground avalanche. This version is supported by the fact of severe destruction of the bedrock sides of the Ina River valley at the confluence with Turokcha, which may indicate the removal of a large volume of rocks by the mudflow.
In the same section of the Ina River, Ufimtsev noted two large “amphitheatres” (resembling a huge funnel) measuring 2.0 by 1.3 kilometers and 1.2 by 0.8 kilometers, which could probably be the bed of large dammed lakes. The dam’s breakthrough and the release of water, according to Ufimtsev, could have occurred as a result of seismic processes, since both slope “amphitheaters” are confined to the zone of a young fault with thermal water outlets.
The gods were naughty here
This amazing place has long been of interest local residents. And for the “rock garden” people came up with a legend that goes back to ancient times. The beginning is simple. Once two rivers, Ina and Barguzin, argued which of them would be the first to reach Lake Baikal. Barguzin cheated and set off on the road that evening, and in the morning the angry Ina rushed after him, angrily throwing huge boulders out of her way. So they still lie on both banks of the river. Isn’t it true that this is just a poetic description of the powerful mudflow proposed to be explained by Dr. Ufimtsev?
The stones still keep the secret of their formation. They are not only different sizes and colors, they are generally from different breeds. That is, they were broken out from more than one place. And the depth of occurrence speaks of many thousands of years, during which meters of soil have grown around the boulders.
For those who have seen the movie Avatar, on a foggy morning the Ina stones will resemble hanging mountains with winged dragons flying around them. The peaks of the mountains protrude from the clouds of fog, like individual fortresses or the heads of giants in helmets. The impressions from contemplating a rock garden are amazing, and it was not by chance that people endowed the stones with magical power: It is believed that if you touch boulders with your hands, they will take away negative energy, giving positive energy in return.
In these amazing places there is another place where the gods played pranks. This place was nicknamed “Suva Saxon Castle”. This natural formation is located near the group of salty Alga lakes near the village of Suvo, on the steppe slopes of the hill at the foot of the Ikat ridge. The picturesque rocks are very reminiscent of the ruins of an ancient castle. These places were especially revered and sacred place. In the Evenki language, “suvoya” or “suvo” means “whirlwind”.
It was believed that this is where spirits live - the masters of local winds. The main and most famous of which was the legendary wind of Baikal “Barguzin”. According to legend, an evil ruler lived in these places. He was distinguished by a ferocious disposition, he took pleasure in bringing misfortune to the poor and disadvantaged people.
He had his only and beloved son, who was bewitched by spirits as punishment for his cruel father. After realizing his cruel and unfair attitude towards people, the ruler fell to his knees, began to beg and tearfully ask to restore his son’s health and make him happy. And he distributed all his wealth to people.
And the spirits freed the ruler’s son from the power of illness! It is believed that for this reason the rocks are divided into several parts. Among the Buryats there is a belief that the owners of Suvo, Tumurzhi-Noyon and his wife Tutuzhig-Khatan, live in the rocks. Burkhans were erected in honor of the Suva rulers. On special days, entire rituals are performed in these places.
A recent scandalous article about how unpopular the nimble “Russian Natashas” are now among foreigners is built precisely on these stereotypes: women from Russia supposedly dream not of a companion as such, but only of a ring, a stamp and material support, forcing their spouse to support their relatives, manipulated, capricious, do not allow fathers to raise children, do not know how to build partnerships and enjoy life. The article was soon deleted as offensive, but, as they say, the residue remained.
A heated discussion ensued on the Internet, and Dni.Ru decided to look into this issue using the example of Italy, where there are especially many such international unions. What do people in Europe really think about us and how do Russian wives themselves assess their situation? Further - only facts and only direct speech.
Julia (journalist) and Davide (engineer)
Have known each other for more than 5 years, married since 2013
Julia:"The assertion that all Russian girls marry foreigners mainly for status married woman, seems deeply unfair and offensive to me. Cases vary, but if we talk about myself, I got married at 33, and this was by no means the first marriage proposal I received. You need to understand that marriage with a European in most cases implies a partnership, that is, you jointly earn money, but equally take care of the children and household. For me personally, this model of relationship is optimal because it allows me to maintain personal freedom and be independent, but at the same time not carry the house on my own, which is what I have always feared in the standard model of marriage.
Girls who married Europeans and moved to their husband’s homeland have to work even more in Europe than in Russia
Girls who believe that, having married a European, they will not think about the family budget, as a rule, do not even get to the wedding. Their enthusiasm usually fades when, during a joint vacation, they are first asked to split the cost of a hotel or dinner. As my experience shows, all generally successful girls who married Europeans and moved to their husband’s homeland have to work even more in Europe than in Russia in order to maintain their usual standard of living. Most of our girls are extremely smart, because they have to communicate in several languages, adapt to another country, work, and sometimes invent and create their own business from scratch, because in Europe work is tight.”
Davide:"Girls all over the world have a desire to get married, not just Russians. My only experience with the only Russian I married suggests rather the opposite. Is a Russian woman capricious? Yes! Hunting for money? This is common here in Italy stereotype about girls from of Eastern Europe. Fortunately, this is not my case at all.
Being the husband of a Russian girl is a challenge, good opportunity check yourself
As a family, we share expenses equally; we have a joint “home economy.” Of course, I am a man and a gentleman, but I am not the only breadwinner in the family. I don't think a Russian woman would tolerate bad husband just for the sake of “carrying your cross.” If she doesn’t like something, she’ll send her away and find a new husband – richer, younger and more beautiful. Is a Russian attached to her family? We live in Italy, I saw her parents maybe twice in Moscow. Damn it, I myself want to go to her parents, in Moscow, to see San Sanych and Natalya! Does a Russian woman not know how to enjoy life? You have a different mentality. Idleness is not held in high esteem; it’s better to work two or three times to buy the bag you like or go on your dream vacation – and then enjoy life there. In Italy we want to be able to relax every day – a little bit at a time. But the life of Russians (and men too) is work and work, and then total relaxation for two or three weeks at sea.
Being the husband of a Russian girl is a challenge, a good opportunity to test yourself. You always test us in one way or another: work, reading books, going to the theater - we always have to be in shape. And this is good, because otherwise we, poor Italians, will remain lazy on the couch in front of the TV. And with Yulia I have enough interesting activities: photography, video, sports."
Ekaterina (logistics specialist) and Alfio (engineer)
Married since 2004
Catherine:“Alfio and I met in Moscow when he came to the city for work. We lived in Russia for three years, our daughter was born there. Then, at his request, we moved to Sicily. I didn’t really want to move, I had work and a settled life at home But I kept my job, I work here for a Moscow office, I get a good salary, by local standards. I study at the university, next year I plan to defend my diploma and, perhaps, I will start looking for a job here.
In the future, I definitely want to continue working; I don’t want to be completely dependent on my husband, although, naturally, he contributes more to the family budget. I mainly take care of the child. My husband often travels on business trips around the world, but when he is here, he tries to spend time with his daughter. Often I myself insist that he help me take her to school, pick her up, take her somewhere else - I can’t keep up with everything with work and school. In short, I always encourage him to participate more in his upbringing, and do not take away his opportunity to be a good father.
There is no easy money in Europe, and no one here will waste it
If we talk about the situation as a whole, I think it’s true that Russian women want a husband, stability, to be dressed and shod by their husband, and not just their own money, and they don’t want to work for everyone, as is often the case in Russia. Some of our girls still believe that marrying a foreigner will solve all their problems and raise their status.
But in general, all these traits are characteristic of Russian women with Russian husbands. Once in Europe, they quickly understand that there are different relationships in the family and in society, nothing is given for nothing. You have to solve problems together, and raise your status yourself, sometimes starting your career all over again. Often middle-income husbands work hard and save. The average European incurs fairly high costs for housing, taxes, food and education – for himself and his children. There is no easy money, and no one here will waste it."
Alfio:“Russians dreaming of a ring, but a husband is a minor thing? This is not entirely true. Marriage for a woman, and not only for a Russian, is very important, but it would be a mistake to think that she is only interested in the stamp in her passport. I fundamentally disagree with the fact that a Russian woman is a manipulator and a money hunter. My personal experience is completely different. My wife is very proud, she values her independence and is very reluctant to take my money, much less force me to support her family.
I fundamentally disagree that a Russian woman is a manipulator and a money hunter
A Russian woman who takes the upbringing of children solely on herself, not letting her husband in - such situations happen, but, again, this applies not only to Russians. In any case, this is possible against the background of already deteriorated relationships, when the marriage is cracking. In the normal state of affairs, a woman does not need to manipulate and raise children alone. Are Russians incapable of being happy? Not true. I think that a Russian woman actively explores the world and is always ready for new experiences, travel and discoveries."
Elena (linguist) and Alessandro (lawyer)
Together for 2.5 years, planning a wedding
Elena:“I’ve been in a relationship with an Italian for two and a half years. Alessandro lives in Italy, I live in Russia, we’ve been trying to launch a joint international project for two years, but so far to no avail. Together (if we can call our relationship that way with a difference of four thousand kilometers) love. His money interests me very little (although a number of things - the same air tickets every two or three months - we can only afford at his expense), his professional and social fulfillment is much more important to me. In principle, I don’t know how to manipulate. at least consciously, I realized from my own experience that I personally am not interested in a long-term “relationship”, but in a family that should live in the same house and have dinner together, I should understand what I’m working for and what kind of world I’m in. It’s a stretch. write it down as “lust for wife status.”
Women for whom it is important to simply be married usually do not reach foreign husbands - it is too difficult and time-consuming
In general, women for whom it is important to simply be married usually do not reach out to foreign husbands - it is too difficult and time-consuming. But if there is a real relationship, “get married” - yes, this is important. How is that a joint project: imagine that you are offered to work, but without drawing up a contract, without defining the scope of work and without deadlines. Will you have a lot of motivation to invest? At the startup stage, it is quite possible. But how long will you last like this?"
Alessandro:“Russian women for me are true lovers of beauty with good taste and an inexhaustible thirst for knowledge, responsible, reliable, and pragmatic in a good way. According to my observations, they are excellent mothers, this is best seen in the level of politeness and good manners of their children. I never believed into the myth of the insidious “Eastern woman”, rooted in the heads of people from the West - often provincials who have never traveled outside their town. Calling Russian women husband hunters and eternal victims of circumstances, in my opinion, is great stupidity.
Ring hunters and patient “sufferers” can be found in other countries
In principle, it is difficult for a European to understand the scale of Russia’s territory. When we say "Russian woman", we must understand that we're talking about about a country stretching from Europe to Pacific Ocean with 145 million inhabitants, the majority of whom are women. So which one exactly do we mean when we apply labels? Surely, among them there will be ring hunters and patient “sufferers” - just like in other countries - this phenomenon is widespread throughout the world. Here another question arises: how mature and conscious can a man (Russian, Italian or American) be called who allows himself to be drawn into such games? How much of this is the banal immaturity and ignorance of one person who cannot or does not want to truly understand the other?”
It would seem that we are all human and live on the same planet. But centuries-old culture, principles and rules have made us different. Each nation has its own methods of education, which may seem wild and alien to some. This is what foreigners think about the behavior of Russian children.
The navel of the earth and the center of the universe
The first thing that catches the eye of foreigners is overprotection. Most parents try to protect their children, protecting them from literally all problems. While in the West it is “fashionable” to send children to real world without support, in Russia it is customary to literally tie them to yourself and not let go. Foreigners believe that for this reason children grow up too infantile, not adapted to the harsh environment. independent life. Making a decision becomes a real challenge for them.
What else surprises foreigners is that children become the center of the Universe. For most Europeans, it is crazy that grandparents show increased interest in their grandchildren. For them, everything is the other way around: old age does not exist, and retirement is an excellent reason for carelessness, traveling and building personal life. Russian children almost always grow up with grandparents who prefer to give their children the opportunity to develop and devote themselves entirely to their careers.
Everything for the health and well-being of children
Foreigners immediately draw a parallel, because overprotection and love of all relatives for children becomes the reason for manipulation. Most tourists simply do not understand how a child can throw a tantrum in public place, and the parents follow his lead and carry out any order.
Foreigners are also shocked that Russian parents literally cannot live without regular walks. Walk on fresh air there will be everyone, and it doesn’t matter how many degrees there are outside the window. Neither heat nor severe frost frightens parents in Russia. They believe that daily walks are necessary for children's health - they strengthen the immune system and strengthen them.
Foreigners are especially frightened by the fact that parents send their children to walk in the harsh winter. After all, you won’t see kids soaking wet and sliding downhill at -30 degrees Celsius in every country. Tourists noted that when it rains, there are always a lot of Russian people on the beach - some grill kebabs under a canopy, others set up tents. It would seem that no bad weather is an obstacle for them.
A parallel world
Europeans and Americans adhere to different rules of education. They prefer to put their children to bed at 8-9 pm, as well as themselves. But in Russia everything is different: Russian parents allow their children to sit as long as they want. Of course, in school days the regime is observed, and on weekends children are allowed to sit with adults until 11-12 at night.
The late curfew is justified by the fact that the child, in addition to school, attends tutors, sections and clubs, and also wants to hang out with friends on the street. For Europeans, this is an excessive burden on children, which can lead to chronic fatigue and depression.
What is happening in modern society
Despite the overprotection, Russian children are raised in such a way that they should be able to stand up for themselves. And those who are not capable should under no circumstances complain to their parents or to the class teacher At school. It is not customary to “snitch” from an early age - either you succumb to your enemies, or you begin to defend yourself.
Foreigners noted that the current generation in Russia is becoming very spoiled. They demand expensive gifts from their parents and can easily begin to manipulate and put psychological pressure on them. Gadgets and great looks come first. Children even from dysfunctional families become vain and arrogant. IN modern society status and well-being are important, and their absence is ridiculed.
Just as the world is surprised by what is happening in Japan, it is also surprised by what is happening in Russia. Many foreigners who had the opportunity to live in Moscow came to the most amazing, funny and crazy conclusions, which they shared with the editors.
1. Cheap things cause mistrust among Russians.
2. Despite the fact that the cheapness of things causes mistrust, Russians really love freebies.
3. In the Moscow metro, it is advisable to be able to work with your elbows.
4. Russians love to get together in a group and talk about life in the kitchen
5. Throwing something away is not the habit of Russians. However, even if most of the things from a Russian’s house are thrown out, no one will pay attention to it.
6. The familiar way to address strangers here is “man” or “woman”
7. For The proverb “Arrogance is the second happiness” is not found in English language e not only an analogue, but also an adequate translation.
8. Many Russian representatives of the stronger sex believe that feminism is to blame for the problems of the West, and now their task is to resist it with all their might.
9. Russians are wrong to think that in America they represent Russia as a country where bears walk the streets. In fact, they believe that bears have long since become extinct in Russia.
10. The amount of sugar at the bottom of a Russian cup of tea is approximately 1 cm thick.
11. Russians use a lot of emoticons in emails and SMS communications. Moreover, their number indicates the importance of the message. For example, “We invite you to a party)” and “We invite you to a party))))))))” have two different meanings.
12. The metro in Moscow is amazing, better than in other countries. But some Muscovites, despite all its attractiveness, prefer to sit in traffic jams.
13. Russians are suspicious of anyone who speaks another language. language e.
14. Smiling for no reason causes irritation among Russians.
15. It is not customary for Russians to place old people in nursing homes, and to resettle children after 18 years of age.
16. Despite narrow roads and traffic jams, Russians continue to buy SUVs.
17. In Russia they love sushi more than in Japan.
18. For A full-fledged acquaintance with a subsequent invitation to visit Russians is enough for 10 minutes.
19. Russians are even more emotional than Italians. They also gesture, scream, cry and laugh in public.
20. Philosophy For Russians are more important than material values. They even have a song for every occasion.
21. Russians themselves can criticize their state, but they will not accept criticism from foreigners.
22. It’s customary here to pamper children and be surprised Why they grew up so spoiled.
23. Russian winter is a very picturesque season, and Russians are especially good at driving in winter.
