29.05.2014 © site
Nothing lasts forever in this world, including marital passion. It would seem that just recently one touch of a loved one caused a sweet shiver throughout the whole body, and now everything has gone somewhere, what previously seemed like magic, has become ordinary and boring everyday life...
At the very beginning of a relationship, when a man and a woman are at the peak of falling in love, you can never say how long the passion will last in their relationship and when it will wane. This can happen either after a year or after ten years of marriage, or it may never happen if a couple in love skillfully maintains their fire of love and does not allow it to go out.
Passion, like a delicate flower, requires care and careful attitude. But, unfortunately, many couples not only do not care about preserving this feeling, but also, without realizing it, help ensure that it leaves their relationship as quickly as possible. And when the process is already irreversible, they try with all their might to return passionate feelings for each other.
Why does passion go away?
Lack of romance For some reason, many couples, having gotten married, immediately forget about the romantic side of the relationship. Men stop giving women flowers, making gifts and giving compliments, and women, in turn, do not even try to somehow decorate and diversify their joint leisure time. Accumulation of mutual claims and grievances Unfortunately, many married couples don't know how to exit correctly, which are sure to arise in any family. Instead of peacefully resolving all emerging problems and seeking consensus, spouses begin to sort things out in a raised voice and arrange showdowns that smoothly turn into scandals, during which things are said to each other that can be difficult to forget... Habit Very bad, when the feeling of novelty disappears in a relationship, and being next to your loved one begins to be perceived not as a gift of fate, but as something taken for granted. At first, the spouses get used to each other, then they stop noticing each other, and after some time they begin to get on each other’s nerves with their very presence. The worst thing is that this process is smooth, imperceptible and, in most cases, irreversible.So is there anything that can be done to avoid such a disastrous end, prevent the onset of mutual cooling and return passion to the relationship? Family psychologists believe that it is certainly possible! But for this you need to be prepared to make certain efforts so that the fire of desire does not go out.
If you want passion back in your relationship, but don't know what to do, try following these tips:
Try to improve the sexual side of your relationship If lovemaking in your bedroom has long been reduced to a few minutes of hasty sex before bed, then it is not surprising if you and your partner soon lose interest in each other. Nothing is more boring than monotony and repetition. You don't know how to diversify your intimate life? Believe me, for this it is not at all necessary to comprehend the basics of the Kama Sutra! Erotic lingerie, quiet Beautiful music and watching an “adult” movie can dramatically improve the quality of your sexual relationships. And if you agree to play sexual games with your partner, he will even begin to carry you in his arms! Diversify your leisure time It’s sad if your family leisure time boils down to you watching your favorite TV series every evening, and your partner in the other room reading a book or sitting at the computer. So you can gradually become complete strangers to each other! Joint activities will help bring passion back into your relationship. Arrange family outings more often: go with your partner to concerts, presentations, visit cafes and restaurants. If you have married couples among your friends, at least several times a year organize group trips to nature with barbecues and overnight stays - it’s so romantic! Make your partner a little jealous of you This does not mean that you should cheat on him or flirt with others in front of his eyes. He just needs to see that you are just as successful with the opposite sex as before. The law of psychology says: if a person knows that he can lose something at any moment, he values it doubly! Let your partner get the impression that you have a lot of secret admirers and that you are with him only because you really love him. Because of this, his feelings for you, filled with passion, can flare up with renewed vigor!
Try to always look your best. The external attractiveness of a partner is important for both men and women. Meanwhile, taking care of
Irina :
Respect yourself, then your husband will respect you, unhappy parents do not have happy children. A woman is the atmosphere in the family, spit on such a husband, try to find housing and leave. If it doesn’t work out now, then think about how to do it. Remember, if you continue to live in humiliation, you will doom your children to the same humiliation. Never let your children be hurt, because silent agreement has a destructive power to torment children. You are beautiful, you are a woman, love yourself so much and show him that he is not worthy of you. Take care of yourself and your children, a man comes and goes, but children are forever our future.
Answer
Andrey :
If you have already allowed disrespect into your home, then you cannot get it out. There is nothing you can do about this, except that you urgently need to stop being a victim, or get a divorce. Well, or endure it and continue to be a victim. In the end, it's entirely up to you. You can also try to talk about what feelings you get from his words and actions. And if you really want advice, then if you don’t leave him just because you feel sorry, then you’re only making it worse for him, and for yourself.
Answer
appearance
I left my husband, he found a young mistress, we didn’t communicate for a month. My son cried, he was bored, and I suffered. After reading your articles, I realized I was so blind, I simply did not notice him. We lived for 16 years, we dated for two years, after so many years I got used to him, there’s a guy at home and that’s all, where does he go. When I found out about this, it was a shock to me how he could do this to me, because he loved me. I understood, because I didn’t see him point blank. Yesterday I called and said that he wanted to talk to my son and would return when I calmed down. Thanks for the articles, I realized my mistakes. I myself pushed him to take this step. What a fool I was, I can’t go back, I’ll start building our relationship from the beginning, because it turns out I love him very much and I need him.
Alyona :
My husband and I have been together for almost two years, we already have a seven-month-old daughter. It all started well, within a week they were in love and began to live together, and 4 months later there was a wedding, everything was fine at first, but now it’s all bad language, he constantly calls me fat and ugly, although I’m beautiful and not fat, I just still have a little belly after childbirth. Sex once a month, or even less, he doesn’t respect him, he doesn’t respect him, he rarely helps around the house, he works as he says. I also have a son from first grade, he goes to first grade, and constantly calls him names. And I do everything, cooking, washing, homework with my son, taking care of my daughter, well, women will understand me. When he comes home from work, he says that you do nothing, you sit on the Internet all day, the machine does your laundry for you anyway, and so on, but when the house is a mess, he immediately notices and starts shouting and calling you names. last words. I don’t know what to do, I’ve already tried and I don’t have the nerves to remain silent, I still break down. Previously, after quarrels, after everything he said, he would come and apologize, but now he doesn’t even apologize, everything is in order. Sometimes I think I’m leaving, then it seems to be getting better and I feel kind of sorry. He seems to be normal, he doesn’t party, he doesn’t drink, he pays his salary, well, I’m sinking myself lower and lower, I don’t know what to do anymore, we just live like neighbors, eat, sleep. Previously, they told everyone, shared everything and always slept in an embrace, but now there’s nothing, here he lies next to him, snoring, and I lie there and cry, maybe someone can tell me?
Answer
Necessarily! Guy's advice:
Find a shared hobby. What does he do in free time, go fishing and don’t criticize his friends, don’t forbid him and try to please him in everything when communicating with his friends. He only says good things about you to his friends. No respecting man will fuck his wife, and if he tells a friend, then only someone he trusts in no other way, and then for the sake of this or that advice. We are all men, but we don’t really need support and care, like cooking and doing laundry. We need a Wife-lover with whom we can have fun, have fun and try something new in bed. We just need steps in this direction. Start with simple reading or watching movies. We notice everything, but sometimes we get so tired of everyday life, at home, we remember what we used to do in our youth and chase those emotions. Go skiing, jump with a parachute, do things in bed that will make us want to make it more pleasant for you. Yes, we may not understand that it’s much harder at home, but at work we have communication. So learn not to stop someone for communicating with someone or having some secret desires. For example, my wife and I watched the TV series Game of Tables and each episode ended with passion and desire, so don’t stop the desire for what you saw, but enjoy the same moment. And no matter how great the sex is, it should always be the best. I told my wife that if she wants something else, she should call a professional from the agency. And not some incomprehensible bloke. We all dream of the best, so do it together and there will be emotions. But sometimes either party needs to take the helm of love and try to give those emotions. There are a lot of erotic massage techniques for both women and men. Just go for a massage and have it done by professionals, or better yet, take the courses yourself and surprise your soul mate with more and more quirks in bed, that’s where everything comes from – the desire to go to work to earn money and, of course, the desire to do something nice. But remember that although we do not react emotionally, we appreciate all the attention. Give your husband a surprise gift to make him feel good, or give him a hobby tool to show interest. If he plays computer games, buy yourself a laptop and get over yourself and ask him to teach him. Well, it’s little things like these that can change us. Then, when he is interested in spending time with you, offer him your hobby or something you have in mind. This can be either a gym or the simplest bead weaving. It just needs attention. Remember, and the simplest thing is, if everything is the end of everything, tell all the secrets and make what you want that was in your dreams come true with him last time. All instructions for a man’s most common dream can be found in any type of erotic or porno films. And remember, when you have nothing to lose, you need to do everything except drugs and alcohol. But you can buy pills for yourself and for him.
Everything is fine... But somehow it’s not right. You know “all the cracks” of it. And he is yours. But too good. You fall asleep and wake up together... But for some reason your heart no longer skips a beat with joy from one of his affectionate glances... Sighs... Touches... How to bring passion back into a relationship and refresh your feelings, enjoy former romance and love?
No, love has not passed! She just... Transformed. But whether it will become commonplace and routine or deep, tender love-friendship depends only on the two of you! Psychologists say that this moment is inevitable; sooner or later all couples go through it. Everything is natural: meetings under the moon have changed everyday issues, walking together - shopping together, going to parties - watching TV after work. Everything went according to plan: visit his mother on Sunday, don’t forget to congratulate his godson on his 5th birthday on Friday, arrange lunch for two during the working day. Once a week. Well, go to the movies... It's bland. Smooth. According to one scenario... What if you change the scenario? The classic is a candlelight dinner, champagne and meeting your loved one from work dressed as Eva. Are there other ways to bring excitement, passion, and newness back into a relationship? Yes!
More sex
It may seem trivial, but it works! When was the last time you made love? And passionately - when? And in one of the difficult poses of Kam*sutra? Yes, the former passion is no longer there, you have sex less and less.
And considering that the lion's share of success in a relationship is good sex, and 70% of divorces happen due to dissatisfaction in intimate life, we draw conclusions. And... Let's make love! Having survived a crisis of sensuality, you will discover new horizons for yourself and return the old passion to your relationship.
Advice: Of course, more and more often I want to sleep more than give in to passion at night. Tomorrow is a quarterly report, an important meeting, just laziness... Well, you can postpone lovemaking to the early morning (by the way, this is the time when men experience peak sexual activity and the maximum concentration of sex hormones in the blood).
If everything is really bad, move on to Plan b:
Preliminary preparation is needed. The light option is to watch a movie for adults, buy toys from a sex shop, get an erotic massage, and so on.
Let's go further: find video lessons on strip plastics on the Internet or sign up for strip dance courses (at the same time this includes stretching, new sensations, and emotions). Not yours? Then belly dancing ( Eastern dance), by the way, this is useful for women's health, even more! One of my friends accidentally found out about tantric yoga classes not far from her home, where she immediately brought her husband.
This is a special practice that allows you to relax, get to know yourself and your partner better, and, of course, achieve orgasm. After the “session” they both smiled mysteriously and blissfully, but she secretly admitted to me that the sensations were simply divine! Now tantric sex is their favorite pastime.
More tenderness...
It’s a paradox, but, as a rule, we terrorize those whom we love the most: we make scandals, throw tantrums, swear, get offended over trifles... We don’t forget to blame all our accumulated troubles during the day on our husband, we express complaints, in general, we saw. Stop! Where is the tenderness? Where are the long kisses? Trembling sms? Coffee in bed? Pleasant surprises each other? This isn't romantic teen nonsense at all - it's... real way refresh your relationship! Remember how they started. What were you like then? What attracted him? There is an actress and seductress in every woman. We can seduce anyone without any problems! A flutter of eyelashes, a playing languid smile - well, you know. What about seducing your own man?
Advice: go to the place of your first date, go together to where you spent your most romantic vacation, recreate the most pleasant moments from your life at the beginning of the relationship. Looking at photos together will help: these are common memories, emotions, a corresponding mood... Well, then it’s a matter of technique... Dance with him slow dancing, say compliments, laugh at his jokes, kiss his ear, whisper all sorts of endearments - and the result will exceed all expectations! It will bloom right before your eyes, and the response will not be long in coming. Your love will return to your relationship with renewed vigor.
An employee once said that sometimes she and her husband play this game: name any letter of the alphabet. And they call her as much as possible positive qualities each other, choosing as many epithets as possible. It turns out quite cute, funny and touching.
More mystery...
The golden rule of living together: you should never turn your man into a girlfriend; you already have enough girlfriends. My grandmother once told me: “Remember! Under any circumstances, you must always remain a woman!” and only recently did I understand what she meant. This means that a man should always be kept a little in suspense: give him the opportunity to conquer you every day, seduce, inspire (for heroic deeds, of course!), always look your best, do not discuss with him the details of your visit to the gynecologist or dentist , properties of a new anti-cellulite cream, etc. Why does he need to know this? After all, you would never discuss these topics with him at the stage of the candy-bouquet period, right? So why do it now? Be for him the same beautiful fairy with a flair of mystery, mystery and unpredictability...
Advice: Before you start radical methods, try to follow the rule of “three don’ts”:
1.
Don't call him for every reason
Devoting all the details on the topic “how my day is going” is, in the end, annoying! After all, for him the telephone is a means of exchanging information. News. Important. And you can show off your new thing to your girlfriend. Disappear periodically from the “ether” - let him get bored, call himself, worry: where are you, what’s wrong with you and why aren’t you calling! The main thing is not to go too far, otherwise he will decide that you are avoiding him.
2. Do not impose your company 24 hours a day
After all, each of you has your own interests, social circle, personal space, in the end. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you have to become Siamese twins and die on the same day. Doctors joke that the key to a successful marriage is night shifts. They are partly right. A short separation allows you to miss each other and bring romance back into the relationship. Go for an overnight stay with your mom, have a bachelorette party with your girlfriends, ask your boss to send you on a business trip for a couple of days. Sometimes this is enough for you to again feel how much you miss each other.
3. Don't hide your feelings
After all, this is harmful both for relationships and for your health! It is better to resolve any misunderstandings, problems, dissatisfaction immediately, be open and honest with each other, explain what exactly does not suit you, find a way out of problematic problems together
situations.
Men love clarity in relationships, but do not always understand what is required of them. They need your hint.
P.S. I love you
You need to constantly refresh your relationship, without waiting until they are five, ten or twenty years old! After all, it is like a plant that needs to be cared for and nurtured, watered and cared for. But the most important thing, without which, perhaps, no “shake-ups” will help, are your feelings. If they exist, you will live, as they say, happily ever after, surviving any crisis. Well, if not... Then there is nothing to refresh. Then you need to leave the past in the past and move forward without regrets! And further. Enjoy every day, every moment spent together! Appreciate each other and don't pay attention to the little things!
When people have been married for more than a year, life is smooth, and nothing causes disagreements, sometimes it may turn out that with the newness of the relationship and the problems of the first months of arranging life, passion disappears somewhere, spouses are less and less attracted to a friend, and desire is increasingly replaced by fatigue.
The situation is familiar to many, but is it inevitable? It turns out not. There are lucky people who discover new pages and facets in each other and in their love. Having summarized the experience of couples who have successfully overcome the habit of relationships and love cooling, as well as the recommendations of experts in the field of psychology and sexology, we can formulate some tips that will undoubtedly be useful to many.
Learn to hear each other
Sometimes you can hear that a successful marriage is compared to a vocal duet. Each of the voices leads its own part, but those around them hear a harmonious single melody. The same comparison can be fully applied to sexual relationships. Partners must not only take care of themselves, but also subtly sense each other’s needs and respond to them.
If spouses are satisfied with sexual relations in marriage, then everything in everyday life is much easier, problems are easier to solve and the atmosphere in the family is more transparent. And vice versa, everyday life affects the quality and quantity of sexual contacts of married people like nothing else. If not everything goes well in one, then you shouldn’t expect perfection in the other.
To love means to pamper
When people just start dating, they show maximum tenderness and tact. After the wedding, the young spouse does not consider it hard work to bring his half a cup of coffee to bed or take the boots off his beloved’s feet. And it’s not a burden for a young wife to rub her husband’s back in the bathroom, and it’s a joy for both of them to walk along the evening alleys.
So why, after just a few years, do many people simply forget about everything? Do tenderness and attention really have an expiration date, and love begins to melt? But it is with such seemingly trivial things that cooling in bed begins.
In fact, not much effort is required to maintain love and the desire to be close. Sincere signs of attention, such as a given towel or a kiss upon meeting, seem like a trifle only to unloving people. If such trifles become firmly established in the lives of spouses, then the connections, including sexual ones, between them will become stronger.
Time to rest
After a day of work, preparing for an essay with my eldest son and launching boats with my youngest, after a frying pan of fried cutlets and an ironed load of laundry, I really want... no, alas, not sex, but sleep! And how to explain to a husband inflamed with desire that he didn’t have enough strength for him today? As a result, the husband is offended, and both he and his wife have a bad feeling in their souls. But what would change if the wife agreed to sex? Probably a little.
Similar situations happen to men. And it’s even more difficult for them here. So isn’t it better to be a little more attentive to your partner and learn to put yourself in his place. Sincerity and a slight change in approach to sex will help here.
For a relationship to be a joy for both wife and husband, mutual readiness for it is required. So why not give each other a rest and have sex, for example, on a weekend morning, after sending the children to visit grandma, or try to put the children to bed early and devote the rest of the evening to love.
After all, the main thing is not the number of contacts, but the quality of the relationship and the joy they bring.
Date set
It is impossible to plan love, but it is even necessary to warn your spouse that he will meet in private in the evening. Moreover, it will not be superfluous to remind you of such plans several times during the day. This, as sexologists say, will only add spice to relationships, warm up the atmosphere and tune in to the right wave.
And in addition to the emotional atmosphere, it is important to prepare the appropriate surroundings, glasses of champagne or your favorite wine, music or something that will make the couple’s heads spin, like on their wedding night.
Don't bring problems home from work
An airplane pilot doesn’t spend half the flight talking on the phone with his wife, and a turner can’t make a part while arguing about raising children with his mother-in-law standing next to a pot of undercooked borscht.
So why do many spouses devote part of their time at home to solving work problems or communicating with colleagues on the phone? Isn't it better to postpone everything if you have something romantic planned for the evening? If work cannot be postponed, you will have to transfer the romance to better times. So that sex does not turn out to be crumpled and out of “necessity”, and official tasks are completed anyhow, it is better not to chase two birds with one stone. Romance will have to be postponed, and love will have to be dedicated to another day.
Change your habits
Spouses who have been married for several years are well aware of their partner’s preferences, so sometimes they succumb to this temptation and do not look for new ways to conquer the “fortress.” But even the most exquisite dishes, served daily for breakfast, lunch and dinner, at one point become boring. 
To prevent your partner from getting sick from the “good”, the relationship should be as varied as possible and not allow each other to be predictable or bored during sex. A love relationship is not a technological operation where everything is regulated by the minute; it is important to be unpredictable and not be afraid of improvisation.
A husband is not a girlfriend!
No matter how old a marriage is, we must not forget that a husband who has experienced both good and bad with his wife is a man who demands exactly this kind of attitude, daily conquest and seduction.
If a wife enthusiastically tells her husband about the features of diet pills or the benefits of a new anti-wrinkle cream, or talks about shopping trips, then about love relationships soon it will be possible to forget.
A woman’s mystery should not be revealed to a man even in marriage; a woman should always remain beautiful and slightly inaccessible to her husband.
Laughter is life... and sex!
Sex in marriage should be taken seriously, but you don’t have to remain serious yourself.
Nobody canceled the games, hints and elements of surprise. A classic example is the apron in the kitchen. What's sexy about it? Nothing, nothing under the apron. And the reaction of a spouse who comes home from work is not difficult to predict.
Memory coming alive
All families have photographs that preserve the memory of the brightest, kindest and most romantic events. So why not refresh your memories and one day flip through the pages of albums over the years.
Moments spent together can bring back those once burning feelings that were captured in photographs touched by yellowness. After all, love has not gone away, it is nearby, on one of the pages.
The difficult task is flirting with your husband!
Any woman knows how to flirt with a stranger; this does not need to be taught, the skill is innate and constantly trained. But with own husband many women give up. But it is precisely this flirting that is the pinnacle of skill, capable of rekindling a seemingly long-extinguished flame. 
What to do? Be bolder! Remember how it was before the wedding and take immediate action.
A gentle or even bold touch by chance, a kiss or a handshake, a dance with your own husband at a party or in a restaurant will remind you that this man is desired and loved, and passion... it is here. Every second. It just needs to be supported and protected. Blow off the dust and enjoy its fire!
Sooner or later, unfortunately, even the most temperamental couple may lose passion. Relationships become insipid, each next day is very similar to the previous one, in which there is room for work and everyday worries, but there is not even a hint of a passionate intimate life, as once upon a time, in the old happy times. If you don’t change anything and continue to live like this, there is a risk that one of the spouses will develop outside hobbies and, as a result, divorce. Let's look at the reasons for this problem and look at some methods to solve it.
A young couple who are just starting their marriage life path, sees everything from a different perspective. Inspired by love and happy that their living together, they have no time to miss nights in bed together and it doesn’t even occur to them that someday the nights will become long and less stormy. But passion is a very fragile and capricious thing that can leave a relationship, for some earlier, for others later. For some couples, passion disappears after pregnancy and the birth of children. After these events, life changes radically, and sometimes all you have the strength to do is crawl to bed and fall asleep. And for some, banal satiety sets in. The spouses look in each other's eyes in the image of a read book, which they have already studied thoroughly and do not want to read it anymore, because... boring and the script is known. Whatever the reason for the disappearance of passion from a relationship, first of all, at least one of the spouses must realize the size of the problem and want to change something in their life for the better, and not continue to live in a bland relationship, hiding behind excuses that they say That's how everyone lives.
Among daily problems and troubles, do not forget to find time only for each other. If you feel that your relationship is becoming monotonous again, arrange romantic meetings, original dates and don’t be afraid to talk about your desires. Complete trust in each other, together with mutual love, can work miracles, which means they can easily return the relationship to its former fervor.
