Sacramentally. It is one of the seven sacraments that people can perform to each other. Thanks to this great sacrament, we transfer ourselves, our desires, aspirations, our lives into the power of a loved one. And these actions are completely sanctified in the Orthodox Church. After the wedding, the spouses are assigned obligations that must be fulfilled. During the wedding, the priest blesses the newlyweds for a happy family life, for procreation, and for raising children.

When spouses get married, they make a commitment to God to preserve their union. Nowadays, church marriages are not legal, therefore, as a rule, people who have previously been registered with the registry office get married. How does a wedding take place in the Orthodox Church, what is the sacrament and how does preparation for the ceremony take place. Let's figure it out.

Basic Rules

Relatives of the newlyweds are usually present at the wedding. Previously, this sacrament required parental blessing. Today this is not a necessary condition at all. The sacrament is performed only by a real priest. The rules provide for some situations in which weddings are prohibited by the Orthodox Church. There are only six such prohibited points:

1. A couple is not married if one of the spouses has been married more than three times.
2. Close (blood) relatives up to the 4th degree of relationship are also denied a wedding.
3. A prerequisite is that the spouses must be baptized.
4. Atheists are not married, and what is the point of such people getting married and taking vows before a God in whom they do not believe?
5. They refuse a couple in which one of the newlyweds is in a marital relationship.
6. People with monastic vows or those who have taken holy orders do not get married.

A wedding is a sacrament consisting of two parts. First, the priest betroths the newlyweds, then crowns them.

An indispensable condition for those getting married is that each newlywed should be an Orthodox Christian. In this case, the groom must be 18 years old at the time of the wedding, the bride must be 16.

Traditions

People have many traditions associated with weddings. They all have a hidden meaning, which boils down to one thing - to protect the newlyweds and protect them from everything negative. For example, if a wedding ring falls during the sacrament, this is a very bad sign, promising the breakdown of the family or the death of one of the spouses.

Under no circumstances should the towel used by the newlyweds be given or transferred to anyone. It is a symbol of life’s path, so the spouse should keep the towel at home like the apple of her eye.

Be sure, when the sacrament is over, give the temple a gift for the fact that your wedding ritual was performed here. According to a tradition that developed many centuries ago, you can give a towel made of linen, and wrap a loaf of bread (certainly fresh) in it.

The candles that remain after the wedding, like the towel, must be kept for life. They light up extremely rarely, and only during difficult situations, for example, if childbirth is too difficult, or when children are sick.

Before the wedding

Of course, this great sacrament requires compliance with several rules, which are carried out immediately before the wedding. Preparation for the sacrament begins with the manifestation of sincere feelings of the future spouses; before the sacrament, the newlyweds must cleanse themselves before each other, open their hearts to each other.

Not so long ago, only chaste people had the right to get married. Nowadays, everything has changed, of course. But the church requires repentance from newlyweds who entered into intimate relationships before marriage. Before the ceremony, the young must take communion and confess.

Think carefully about when and where you want to get married. Due to the fact that nowadays a wedding is a rather fashionable and popular ceremony, in many churches you can pre-register for the sacrament.

What is possible and what is not

They don’t crown fasts. Easter week and Christmas time are also prohibited for weddings. They also do not get married on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Do not forget that the church calendar changes every year, and accordingly, the days on which the ceremony is not performed also change. Therefore, it is better to find out about everything in advance. To do this, contact the temple servants, the church shop.

Immediately before the wedding, starting from midnight, you cannot eat or drink anything. You should stop smoking and not have sexual relations. To ensure your wedding goes as smoothly as possible, use the following tips:

• Wear comfortable shoes; do not wear shoes with high and uncomfortable heels, because you will have to stand on your feet for more than one or two hours.
• The bride's head must be covered.
• The newlyweds must have crosses on their bodies (preferably the ones with which they were baptized).
• The rings are given to the priest even before the wedding begins, he sanctifies them, placing them on the Throne.
• Don't forget to take a white linen or towel with you, it is necessary for the newlyweds to stand on it.

If one of the relatives is late for the liturgy, then it will be possible to enter the church only at the beginning of the wedding.

Every married couple who wants to get married must certainly come to church with witnesses. Best men usually hold crowns over the heads of those getting married. The main condition is that the witnesses be baptized.

Filming with a video or camera in the church is generally prohibited.

What to get married in

Preparation also includes choosing a wedding dress. Clothing for an event that will take place in an Orthodox church requires special attention. It is better if the girl wears a light-colored dress or a white outfit. You should absolutely avoid dark (brown, purple) and especially black outfits. The meaning here seems to be clear. White and light symbolize purity and chastity. Black and dark - mourning.

As for the length that the bride's clothes should have, it is desirable that the length be floor-length. Maximum - up to the knees. And, by the way, as you may have guessed, trouser robes are in no way suitable for the sacrament.

It is preferable that for the ceremony in the Orthodox Church the girl chooses a closed dress.

The back, neckline and shoulders must remain covered.

Prohibitions

Dear girls! Remember, the outfit in which you and your betrothed were married cannot be sold, given away or rented. These outfits are kept as a powerful amulet.

In the Orthodox Church, during the sacrament, representatives of the fair half cannot be present with their heads uncovered. When choosing a hairstyle, be sure to take this important point into account. By the way, about hairstyles. There is no need to make them too tall for the church. It is better not to abandon the traditional veil, but it must certainly cover the top of the bride’s head.

Don't overdo it with decorative cosmetics either. You should not choose too bright shades; it is better to give preference to naturalness and light notes. And one more important point. Remember, lips should not be painted! You can wipe off your makeup at the entrance to the church, and then, when the ceremony is over and you leave the walls of the temple, put on makeup again.

The groom's attire should be strict. As for color, there are no special rules for grooms. However, it is still better to give preference to light colors. The meaning here is the same as with the colors of brides' dresses. The ceremony does not accept casual, sports, or denim clothing. And one more thing - no hats on the groom.

Some requirements are also put forward for the attire of guests who plan to attend when the ceremony is held in an Orthodox church. Women should be in the temple with their heads covered and in closed clothes. Each guest must have a cross.

Wedding ceremony

As soon as you enter the temple, you should pray. After this, the groom stands on the right side, the bride on the left. Behind them are a witness and a witness. During the liturgy, wedding rings lie to the right of the Holy Altar. They are carried out by the deacon. After the triple blessing, the newlyweds pick up candles if this is the first marriage of the young couple. does not involve the presentation of candles.

Next comes the engagement. After the spoken words, the priest makes the sign of the cross over the spouse’s head and places the wedding ring on the ring finger of the right hand. After this, the same ritual occurs with the bride. Then the rings are changed three more times on the hands of the bride and groom.

The next sacrament is wedding. The priest also pronounces words, first over the groom, then over the bride. After which he signs the groom with a crown of a cross; at the end of the sign, the groom necessarily kisses the image of Christ. Next it is the bride's turn to do the same. Only at the end does she kiss the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Wedding process

The entire time the wedding sacrament is taking place, the witnesses hold crowns over the heads of the couple. By the way, according to the rules, there are no strict instructions as to whether these crowns need to be held strictly above their heads, or can be put on their heads.

The common cup has a special meaning - it means a common fate, with joys, sorrows and consolations, also common.

After drinking the wine, the priest joins the right hands of the newlyweds, they are covered with an epitrachelion. On top of the sacred stole, he takes the hands of the newlyweds with his hand and leads them three times in a circle near the lectern.

When the newlyweds finish the procession, the priest removes their crowns and makes a welcoming solemn speech. Next, the newlyweds follow to the royal doors to kiss the faces of the saints: the groom - the icon of the Savior, the bride - the Mother of God. There is also a tradition according to which young people kiss icons of the patrons of marriage.

Crackling candles during the wedding sacrament promise a not entirely calm married life for the newlyweds. And also, as the belief says, whose candle burns out more, that spouse is destined to go to another world sooner.

The first night and its rituals

Once upon a time, the first wedding after the sacrament was very significant and special. Its implementation had several regulations. Let's remember these rituals.

So, the marriage bed of the young. The young man's mother, or his godmother, had to prepare it. The rest of the relatives could not be allowed into the room with the young people.

Before leaving the newlyweds alone, the room and bed were sprinkled with sacred water three times in a cross shape.

If, during the preparation of the bed, linings were found on it (needles, grains, wool, etc.), the newlyweds were under no circumstances allowed to lie in this bed. With such actions, someone is trying to quarrel between spouses and make them infertile.

The following act was a kind of amulet and protection. Before the wedding night, the groom's mother showed everyone the room for the newlyweds, showed off the feather beds, and so on. But when the time came to retire to their chambers, the mother took the young couple to a completely different, pre-prepared and secret place, which no one knew about except her. The meaning of this ritual is to protect the newlyweds.

So that during the wedding no one would harm the young family or do anything bad, a special conspiracy was read by the eldest member of the family.

How much does a wedding cost?

No matter how sad it may be, today weddings have commercial benefits. Temples set their own prices for it, which may vary depending on the day of the week, holiday, time, and so on. So, if one of the newlyweds was already married, the cost of the “wedding” service increases, because before the sacrament itself, the priest must also read a prayer of repentance.

You will also have to pay more if on this day or time you want to be in the church yourself, without other wedding couples.

To prevent the cost of the wedding from becoming an unpleasant surprise for you, go to the temple in which you plan to get married in advance. Find out everything from the temple servants, ask how much it will cost and what you need to have with you during the sacrament. Good luck and be happy!

About the sacraments. Sacrament of Marriage

THE CONCEPT OF THE SACRAMENT

Marriage is a sacrament in which the bride and groom, before the priest and the Church, make a free promise of their mutual marital fidelity, and their union is blessed, in the image of the union of Christ with the Church, and they ask for the grace of pure unanimity for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children (Catechism) .

ESTABLISHMENT OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is the initial union from which a family, kinship, national and civil union is formed. Therefore, the importance and meaning of marriage can be viewed from different angles. In all its holiness and height, marriage appears in the depths of the Orthodox Church, where it is a sacrament, the beginning of which is in the blessing of the marriage of the pristine couple, and its fullness in Christianity.

Marriage was originally established by God Himself in paradise through the creation of the wife to help the husband and through the blessing given to them by God. Hence, throughout the Old Testament the view of marriage is expressed as a matter blessed by God Himself (Gen. 1:28 and ch. 24; Proverbs 19:14; Mal. 2:14).

This view of the marriage of God’s word is reflected in the first three prayers following the wedding.

In Christianity, marriage reaches the fullness of perfection and the real meaning of the sacrament. Initially sanctified by God, it receives new confirmation and initiation into the sacrament from Jesus Christ (Matthew 19:5-6) and becomes an image of the mysterious union of Christ with the Church, which is why it is called the great mystery (Eph. 5:32). In accordance with the word of God, the most ancient writers and Church Fathers taught about marriage (Clement of Alexandria, Tertullian, St. John Chrysostom, Blessed Augustine, St. Ambrose of Milan, etc.).

PURPOSE AND MEANING OF THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE

Marriage, according to the Christian view, is the great mystery of the unity of two souls, in the image of the unity of Christ with the Church (see the Apostle read at the wedding - Eph. 230).

Husband and wife, according to Saint Cyprian of Carthage, receive the fullness and integrity of their being in spiritual, moral and physical unity and the mutual completion of one by the personality of the other, which is achieved in Christian marriage.

The mutual responsibilities of husband and wife are indicated in the Holy Scriptures. Scripture: a husband must love his wife as Christ loved the Church; and on the part of the wife there must be obedience to her husband, just as the Church submits to Christ (Eph. 5:22-26).

In order to be a worthy reflection of the mysterious union of Jesus Christ with the Church, those united in marriage must subordinate everything lower in their nature to the higher, making the physical side dependent on the spiritual and moral.

The moral bond, the union of love and the inner unity between spouses under these conditions are so strong that death itself cannot weaken them. From this point of view, only the first marriage can be recognized as having moral worth. The second marriage is “restraint from fornication,” a witness to the incontinence of sensuality, “not overcome by the spirit, as a true Christian should, at least after satisfying the sensual needs in the first marriage.” Therefore, the conscience of a Christian needs to be cleansed by penance, which was the excommunication of second-weds from the Holy Mysteries for a year in ancient times. Second marriages (i.e., those widowed and entering into a second marriage) are prohibited, according to apostolic tradition and church canons, from being elected pastors of the Church as those who, through second marriage, have demonstrated “incontinence of sensuality,” which should be alien to persons of the priesthood. The Church looked at third marriage even more strictly (although it allowed it as an indulgence towards human weakness).

As a living union of love and affection in the image of the union of Christ with the Church, marriage cannot be broken by any troubles and accidents of married life, except the death of one of the spouses and the guilt of adultery. The latter, in its effect on a marriage, is equivalent to death and fundamentally destroys the marriage bond. “A wife is a community of life, united into one body from two, and whoever again divides one body into two is an enemy of God’s creativity and an opponent of His Providence.”

Marriage in Christianity is based on a feeling of love and high mutual respect (without the latter there can be no love).

Marriage is a home Church, the first school of love. Love, having been brought up here, must then leave the family circle for everyone. This love is one of the tasks of marriage, which is indicated in prayers in the wedding rite itself: The Church prays that the Lord will give the couple a peaceful life, unanimity, “unanimity of souls and bodies,” love for each other in a union of peace, fill “their homes with wheat , wine and oil and all kinds of goodness, let them give to those who need it” and, having all the wealth, they will have an abundance for every good work and pleasing to God, so that “having pleased the sight of God, they will shine like the lights in heaven in Christ our Lord.”

The Christian family, according to the teachings of Basil the Great, should be a school of virtues. Bound by feelings of love, spouses should exert mutual good influence, selflessly enduring each other’s character flaws.

Marriage is also a school of self-denial, which is why we hear in the wedding rite the words: “Holy martyr, who suffered well and was crowned, pray to the Lord to have mercy on our souls.”

Martyrs are mentioned here, for Christianity is a feat in all aspects of Christian life, and, in particular, marriage imposes on people such high responsibilities towards themselves and towards their offspring that their crowns are in a sense equivalent to the crowns of martyrs. Wedding crowns are chains of asceticism, crowns of victory over sensuality; When performing the sacrament, the holy cross is placed before the newlyweds, a symbol of self-denial and service to one's neighbor and God, and the great teacher of love in the Old Testament, the prophet Isaiah, is called upon in song.

Christianity requires chastity in marriage. For those who are married, Christianity prescribes a pure, immaculate, chaste life. This is reflected in the prayers of the wedding ceremony.

The Church prays to the Lord, Who is “the Mysterious and Pure Marriage, Priest and Lawgiver of the body, the Guardian of incorruptibility,” to give grace to those getting married to preserve “chastity” in marriage, to show “their honest marriage,” to keep “their undefiled bed” and “their immaculate cohabitation,” so that they reach “old age,” “doing the commandments” of God with a pure heart. Here the Church points to what we called marital chastity, points to the need to maintain marital fidelity, to the need to combat sinful passions developed over centuries, to renounce previous pagan relationships with one’s wife as an object of pleasure and property. The fight against sin in marriage is the most sublime type of Christian ascetic work. This is a great thing that heals the very sources of life. It makes marriage a feat of both personal and (due to heredity) tribal improvement in both the physical and spiritual aspects. This feat (ascesis) has external expression in the spouses’ abstinence from each other during fasting days, as well as during lactation and pregnancy.

The Holy Scriptures and the Church, in their prayers for the wedding ceremony, also point to the second main purpose of marriage - procreation. The Church blesses marriage as a union for the purposes of procreation and for the Christian upbringing of children, asking in prayers for “goodness” and for “grace for children.”

In the litanies and prayers at betrothals and weddings, the Church prays for the sending down of perfect and peaceful love to the newlyweds, for their preservation in an immaculate life, for the granting of good children for the continuation of the human race and for the replenishment of the Church.

For the edification of newlyweds, there is a wonderful teaching in the Great Trebnik (chapter 18), which comprehensively reflects the Church’s view of marriage as a sacrament (we give it in Russian translation): “Pious and true believers in Christ the Lord, a united duality! The great field of the Church of God is threefold and is decorated with threefold harvest. The first part of this field is acquired by those who love virginity; she brings into the Lord's granary the fruits of virtues a hundredfold. The second part of this field, cultivated by storing widowhood, is sixtyfold. The third - those who are married - if they live piously in the fear of God, it is fruitful at thirty.

So, honorably the marriage, by the law of which you have now been united, so that living together, you will receive from the Lord the fruit of the womb for the inheritance of your family, for the inheritance of the human race, for the glory of the Creator and Lord, for the insoluble union of love and friendship, for mutual help and for the protection of yourself from temptation. Marriage is honorable, for the Lord Himself established it in paradise, when He created Eve from Adam’s rib and gave her as his helper. And in the new grace, Christ the Lord Himself deigned to confer great honor on marriage when He not only adorned the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence, but also magnified it with the first miracle - turning water into wine. The Lord blessed virginity by deigning to be born in the flesh from the Most Pure Virgin; He gave honor to widowhood when, during His presentation to the temple, He received confession and prophecy from Anna, an eighty-four-year-old widow; He also magnified the marriage with His presence at the marriage.

So, you have chosen a blessed, honest and holy rank for your life; just know how to live a holy and honest life. And it will be like this if you, living in the fear of God, avoid all evil and strive to do good; It will be blissful if you mutually give each other their due. You, groom, maintain fidelity to your wife in cohabitation, right love and condescension towards women’s infirmities. And you, bride, always maintain fidelity to your husband in cohabitation, unfeigned love and obedience to him as your head: for just as Christ is the head of the Church, so the husband is the head of the wife. Both of you together must take care of your home, both with constant labor and with the provision of your household; both diligently and constantly show each other unfeigned and unchanging love, so that your union, which, according to the words of St. Paul, there is a great mystery, fully signified the union of Christ with the Church. Let your pure and warm love demonstrate the pure and warm love of Christ for the Church. You, husband, as the head, love your wife as your body, just as Christ loves His spiritual body - the Church. You, wife, love your head, your husband, like your body, just as the Church loves Christ. And thus, Christ, the King of the world, will be with you and in you: “For God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4:16). And abiding in you, He will give you peaceful cohabitation, a prosperous stay, abundant food for yourself and your household, He will grant His holy blessing to all your labors, to your villages, to your houses and livestock, so that everything multiplies and is preserved, He will give you to see the fruits of your womb - like olive trees around your table, and the sons of your sons will see. May the blessing of the Lord be upon you always, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen".

ANCIENTITY OF WORSHIP

MARRIAGES

Marriage services have been performed since ancient times. In Christianity, marriage has been blessed since the time of the apostles. Saint Ignatius the God-Bearer, a disciple of the Apostle John the Theologian, writes in a letter to Polycarp: “Those who marry and commit marriage must enter into marriage with the consent of the bishop, so that the marriage is about the Lord, and not out of passion.” Clement of Alexandria (2nd century) points out that only that marriage is sanctified which is performed by the word of prayer. The 3rd century apologist Tertullian says: “How to depict the happiness of a marriage approved by the Church, sanctified by her prayers, blessed by God?” Saints Gregory the Theologian, John Chrysostom, Ambrose of Milan testify to the priestly blessing and prayer with which marriage was sanctified. In 398, the Fourth Council of Carthage decreed that the parents, or their chosen ones in their stead, should present the bride and groom for the blessing.

Currently, the rites of marriage include betrothal and wedding. In ancient times, betrothal, which preceded the marriage ceremony, was a civil act;

it was performed solemnly, in the presence of many (up to 10) witnesses who sealed the marriage contract; the latter was an official document that defined the relationship between the spouses. The betrothal was accompanied by the ceremony of joining the hands of the bride and groom, and the groom gave the bride a ring. Only in the X-XI centuries. Betrothal began to take place in the church as a mandatory church rite with corresponding prayers.

The rites of Christian marriage, especially in the betrothal ceremony, were formed under the influence of Jewish marriage ceremonies. And in the prayers of Christian marriage there are many references to the Old Testament Jewish rite.

The rite of marriage itself among Christians in ancient times was performed through prayer, blessing and the laying on of hands by a bishop in the church during the liturgy. (Cf. the testimony of Clement of Alexandria and Tertullian.) We see traces of the fact that the rite of marriage was performed during the liturgy in the wedding rite: the exclamation of the liturgy “Blessed is the Kingdom,” the peaceful litany, the reading of the Apostle and the Gospel, the special litany, the exclamation: “And grant us, Master" and "Our Father". In the 4th century, the use of wedding wreaths was introduced in the East. (In Rus' they were replaced by wooden and metal crowns.) The separation of the wedding rite from the liturgy occurred in the 12th-13th centuries, and nowadays it is usually performed after the liturgy.

In the 16th century The rite of marriage in Rus' reached full development and contained everything that we have in our modern rite.

The most ancient parts of the wedding ceremony must be recognized as our third prayer (before the laying of crowns) and the 4th (after the Gospel), the singing of the 127th Psalm, the sharing of the common cup instead of the communion of the Holy Gifts and the blessing of those getting married in the name of the Most Holy Trinity. The first two prayers, readings from the Apostle and the Gospel, the last two prayers (6th and 7th) after the removal of the crowns, and the prayer for the resolution of the crowns on the 8th day have a later origin.

ANNOUNCEMENT BEFORE MARRIAGE AND BLESSING OF PARENTS

The bride and groom, as members of the Orthodox Church, according to ancient custom, “may know (that is, should know) the confession of faith, that is: I believe in one God, and the Lord’s Prayer, this is: Our Father; (as well as) the Virgin Mary and the Decalogue” (Kormchaya, 2, 50).

Preventing people from entering into an illegal marriage (based on the degree of relationship), the Orthodox Church introduced a preliminary three-fold “announcement” (on the next three Sundays), i.e., it makes known to the members of the parish the intention of those wishing to marry. The Church also encourages those entering marriage to “pre-purify” themselves, to prepare themselves for a new field of life through the feat of fasting, prayer, repentance and communion of the Holy Mysteries.

The Orthodox parents of the bride and groom, preserving the ancient pious commendable custom, “pre-bless” them not only out of a feeling of parental love, but also on behalf of the Lord and the saints - they bless them with holy icons with signs of the needs of life - bread and salt. The beginning of parental blessing to children entering into marriage is indicated in the word of God. Thus, Bethuel once blessed his daughter Rebekah for marriage with Isaac (Gen. 24, 60), Raguel blessed his daughter Sarah for marriage with Tobiah (Tov. 7, 11-12).

ORDER OF MARRIAGE

The ceremony of marriage should always be performed in church, and moreover, the most appropriate time for marriage is indicated to be the time after the liturgy.

Each marriage is supposed to be performed separately, and not several marriages together.

The rite of marriage consists of: 1) the rite of betrothal and 2) the sequence of wedding and resolution of crowns, i.e., the performance of the sacrament itself.

In the betrothal, “the word spoken by the spouses” is affirmed before God, that is, the mutual promise of the spouses, and as a pledge of this they are given rings; in the wedding, the union of the newlyweds is blessed and the grace of God is asked for them. In ancient times, betrothal was performed separately from wedding. Nowadays, a wedding usually follows immediately after an engagement.

The ceremony of betrothal. Before the betrothal, the priest places the rings (“rings”) of the newlyweds (one next to the other) for consecration on the throne on the right side, while the silver one (which goes to the groom after the change) is placed on the throne on the right side of the gold one. The rings are placed on the throne as a sign that the union of the betrothed is sealed by the right hand of the Almighty and that those getting married entrust their lives to the Providence of God.

For the betrothal, the priest, having put on the epitrachelion and phelonion, leaves the altar through the royal doors. He takes with him the cross and the Gospel in front of the lamp and places them on a lectern in the middle of the temple. The cross, the Gospel and the candle serve as signs of the invisible presence of Christ the Savior.

The betrothal takes place in the vestibule of the temple or at the very entrance to the temple (in the “entrance of the temple”).

The priest (three times) blesses the groom in a cross pattern, and then the bride with a lighted candle, which he then hands to everyone, showing that in marriage the light of the grace of the sacrament is taught and that for marriage a purity of life is necessary, shining with the light of virtue, why lighted candles are not given second marriage as no longer a virgin.

Then (according to the Rules) the priest censes them crosswise, indicating prayer and the teaching of the blessing of God, the symbol of which is incense, as a means of repelling everything hostile to the purity of marriage. (Currently, censing of the bride and groom before betrothal is not performed.)

After this, the priest makes the usual beginning: “Blessed is our God...” and pronounces a peaceful litany, which contains petitions for the newlyweds and for their salvation, for sending them perfect love and preserving them in unanimity and firm faith.

After the litany, the priest reads two prayers aloud, in which the betrothed ask for God’s blessing, unanimity, a peaceful and blameless life, etc. At the same time, the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah is remembered as an example of virginity and purity for the newlyweds. At this time, the deacon goes to the altar and brings rings from the throne.

The priest, having first taken the gold ring, overshadows the groom three times on his head, saying (three times):

“THE Servant of GOD (name) IS ENGAGED TO THE Servant of GOD (name) IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT, AMEN,” and places the ring on the finger of his right hand (usually on the fourth finger).

In the same way, he hands over a silver ring to the bride, saying the words: “THE Servant of GOD (name) IS ENGAGED TO THE Servant of GOD...”.

After this, the rings are changed three times, and thus the bride’s ring remains as a pledge with the groom, and the groom’s ring remains with the bride.

By presenting the rings, the priest reminds the newlyweds of the eternity and continuity of their union. The subsequent three-fold change of rings indicates mutual consent, which must always exist between the spouses, and its completion by the successor or one of the relatives shows that the mutual consent of the spouses also includes the consent of their parents or relatives.

Having placed the rings on the right hands of the betrothed, the priest pronounces the betrothal prayer, in which he asks the Lord to bless and confirm the betrothal (Greek aеоа ona - pledge, cf. 2 Cor. 1, 22; 5, 5; Eph. 1, 14), like since He confirmed the betrothal of Isaac and Rebekah, blessed the position of the rings with a heavenly blessing, in accordance with the power shown by the ring in the person of Joseph, Daniel, Tamar and the prodigal son mentioned in the Gospel parable, confirmed the betrothed in faith, unanimity and love, and gave them an Angel Guardian all the days of their lives.

Finally, a short litany is pronounced: “Have mercy on us, O God...”, which happens at the beginning of Matins, with the addition of a petition for the betrothed. This ends the betrothal. Usually this is not followed by a dismissal, but a wedding.

Currently, according to the accepted custom, the priest proclaims: “Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee,” and while singing the 127th Psalm: “Blessed are all who fear the Lord,” enthusiastically depicting the blessings of a God-fearing family, getting married with lighted candles, preceded The priest is brought to a lectern placed in the middle of the temple with a cross and the Gospel. (According to the Rule, the psalm must be sung by the priest himself, and not by the deacon or singer, and to each verse of the psalm the people, and not just the singers, respond with the chorus: “Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.” Such a performance of the psalm was a property of the ancient divine services of cathedral churches on the greatest holidays.)

The wedding sequence. Before the wedding begins, having brought the newlyweds before the lectern, the priest, according to the Charter, must explain to them what Christian marriage is as a sacrament and how to live in marriage pleasing to God and honestly.

Then he asks the bride and groom whether they have good, relaxed mutual consent and a strong intention to marry and whether they have promised to another person.

The question is: “Have you not promised another (or another)?” - proposed to the bride and groom, not only means whether he made a formal promise to marry another woman or to marry another, but also means: whether he entered into a relationship and illicit relationship with another woman or with another man, imposing certain moral and family responsibilities.

After a positive response from the spouses about their voluntary entry into marriage, a wedding is performed, consisting of a great litany, prayers, laying of crowns, reading the word of God, drinking a common cup and walking around the lectern.

The deacon exclaims: “Bless, master.”

The priest makes the initial exclamation: “Blessed is the Kingdom,” and the deacon pronounces a peaceful litany, in which petitions are attached for the spouses, for their salvation, for the granting of chastity to them, for the birth of sons and daughters from them, and for God’s protection for them all the days of their lives.

After the litany, the priest reads three prayers for those marrying, in which he asks the Lord to bless the present marriage, just as He blessed the marriages of the Old Testament righteous - to grant the couple peace, long life, chastity and love for each other, and to make them worthy to see their children and fulfill their home. their wheat, wine and oil.

At the end of the prayers, the priest, having accepted the crowns, alternately crosses the bride and groom with them (letting them kiss the crown itself) and places them on their heads as a sign and reward of their preserved purity and chastity until marriage, as well as as a sign of marital union and power over future offspring .

At the same time, the priest says to each of the spouses:

“THE Servant of GOD (name) IS MARRIED TO THE Servant of GOD (name)” or “THE Servant of GOD (name) IS MARRIED TO THE Servant of GOD (name), IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.”

After laying the crowns, the priest blesses the bride and groom three times together with the usual priestly blessing, saying:

“Lord our God, crown (them) with glory and honor.”

This laying of crowns and prayers (during the laying of crowns) - “The servant of God is crowned... the servant of God” and “Lord our God, crown me with glory and honor” - are recognized in theology as perfect, i.e. constituting the main moment of the sacrament of Marriage and imprinting it, which is why the very sequence of the sacred rite is called a wedding.

Then the prokeimenon is pronounced: “Thou hast placed crowns on their heads,” and after the prokeimenon the Apostle and the Gospel are read, of which the first (Eph. 5:20-33) reveals the teaching about the essence and height of Christian marriage, the duties of husband and wife, and shows the original

the establishment and celebration of marriage, and in the second (John 2,

1-11) - the story of Jesus Christ’s visit to a marriage in Cana of Galilee and the transformation of water into wine there shows the godly nature of Christian marriage and the presence of God’s blessing and grace in it.

After reading the Gospel, the litany is pronounced: “Everyone sings,” and after an exclamation - a prayer for the newlyweds, in which they ask the Lord for peace and unanimity, purity and integrity, the achievement of venerable old age and continuous observance of the commandments of God.

The prayer for those getting married consists of a petitionary litany for all believers (with its ancient beginning from the petition “Intercede, save”) and the singing of the Lord’s Prayer, uniting the hearts of all in one spirit of prayer, so that in this way the very triumph of marriage would be elevated and the outpouring of grace would increase not only on those who were married marriage, but also on all believers. This is followed by the teaching of peace and the prayer of adoration.

After this, a “common cup” of wine is brought, in remembrance of how the Lord blessed wine at the wedding in Cana of Galilee; the priest blesses it with prayer and teaches it three times to the newlyweds in turn. Wine is served to the bride and groom from a common cup as a sign that they must live in an inextricable union and share the cup of joys and sorrows, happiness and misfortune.

Having presented the common cup, the priest joins the right hands of the newlyweds, covering them with stole, as if tying their hands before God, thereby signifying their union in Christ, as well as the fact that the husband, through the hands of the priest, receives a wife from the Church itself, and circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern , on which lie the cross and the Gospel. This walking in a circle generally signifies the spiritual joy and triumph of the couple (and the Church) about the sacrament being performed and the expression of their firm vow, given before the Church, to eternally and faithfully preserve their marital union. The circumambulation is performed three times - to the glory of the Holy Trinity, which is thus invoked as a witness to the vow.

During the circumambulation, three troparions are sung. In the first of them: “Isaiah, rejoice...” - the incarnation of the Son of God, His birth from the most blessed Virgin Mary is glorified and thus solemnly reminded of the Divine blessing of childbearing.

In the second troparion: “Holy Martyr...” - the ascetics and martyrs are glorified and called to pray for us, along with whom the married couple seems to be included as having overcome temptation, preserved chastity and now set out for the feat of life in marriage. Following their example, newlyweds are encouraged to overcome all the devil's temptations in their lives in order to be rewarded with heavenly crowns.

Finally, in the third troparion: “Glory to Thee, O Christ our God,” Christ is glorified as the praise of the apostles and the joy of the martyrs, and together the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope and help in all circumstances of life.

After circumambulating three times, the priest removes the crowns from the newlyweds and at the same time says special greetings to each of them, in which he wishes them exaltation from God, joy, multiplication of offspring and keeping the commandments. Then he reads two prayers in which he asks God to bless those married and send them earthly and heavenly blessings.

According to accepted practice, after this a prayer is read for the permission of the crowns “on the eighth day.” And there is a vacation.

This is usually followed by a celebration of many years, sometimes preceded by a short prayer service, and congratulations to the newlyweds.

PERMISSION OF THE CROWNS “ON THE EIGHTH DAY”

In the Trebnik, after the wedding ceremony, there is a “Prayer for the permission of the crowns, on the eighth day.” In ancient times, those who married wore crowns for seven days, and on the eighth day they laid them down with the prayer of the priest. Crowns in ancient times were not metal, but simple wreaths made of myrtle or olive leaves, or some other non-withering plant. Currently, the prayer for the permission of crowns is read before the dismissal of the wedding.

SEQUENCE ABOUT SECOND MARRIAGES

Marriage in the Orthodox Church after the death of one of the spouses or due to legal separation can be celebrated a second and third time. But the Church, in accordance with the word of God, does not look at all three marriages with equal respect and does not bless the second marriage and the third marriage with the same solemnity as the first. She teaches that it is more consistent with the spirit of Christianity to be content with one marriage. In accordance with the high purity of life presented to us by the Gospel, the second and third marriages of the Church

allows for some imperfection in the life of a Christian, condescending only to human weakness as a protection from sin. Saint Justin Martyr, a 2nd century writer, says that “those who enter into a second marriage with our Teacher (Jesus Christ) are considered sinners.” Basil the Great writes that a second marriage is only a cure against sin. According to Gregory the Theologian, “the first marriage is law, the second is indulgence.” According to the 17th rule of the holy apostles, “whoever was obliged by holy baptism to two marriages cannot be a bishop, nor a presbyter, nor a deacon.” According to the 7th rule of the Neocaesarea Council (315), the bigamist needs repentance. The Church looks even more strictly at third marriages, seeing in it predominant sensuality. In ancient times, a bigamist was sentenced to 1 to 2 years, and a tripartist was sentenced to 3 to 5 years of excommunication from the Eucharist.

In accordance with the decrees and opinions of the apostles and holy fathers of the Church on the second marriage, its procedure is set out in the Breviary shorter than the procedure for the wedding of newlyweds, and no longer has all the solemnity of the first. The Church’s prayerful wishes for second-married couples and petitions for them are stated more briefly than in the wedding rite for first-weds, and are less joyful and solemn because they are filled with a feeling of repentance. Thus, the Church prays to the Lord for second-weds: “Sovereign Lord our God, who has mercy on all and provides for everyone, who knows the secrets of man, and has knowledge of all, cleanse our sins and forgive the iniquity of Your servants, I call (them) to repentance... knowing weaknesses of human nature, Creator and Maker... unite (them) to each other with love: grant them the publican's treatment, the tears of harlots, the confession of thieves... cleanse the iniquities of Your servants: because of the heat and hardships of the day and the kindling of the flesh they cannot bear, in a second marriage communications converge: just as you ordained Paul the Apostle to be the vessel of Your election, He said to us for the sake of the humble: it is better to encroach on the Lord than to become liquefied... For no one is sinless, even if there is only one day of his life, or except for vice, only You are the only one who bears flesh sinlessly , and granted us eternal dispassion.”

The order regarding second marriages is basically similar to that which applies to those entering into a first marriage, but is stated more briefly.

When newlyweds get engaged, they are not blessed with candles. From the great succession of the wedding, the betrothal prayer “Lord our God, who descended to the youth of the Patriarch Abraham” is not read, and after this prayer there is no litany “Have mercy on us, O God.”

For second marriages:

Psalm 127 is not sung;

those getting married are not asked about their voluntary marriage;

at the beginning of the wedding, “Blessed is the Kingdom” and the great (peaceful) litany are not said;

Prayers 1 and 2 at a wedding are different (penitential).

In the Great Trebnik, before the text on second marriages, the “Government of Nikephoros, Patriarch of Constantinople” (806-814) is printed, which says that a bigamist does not get married, i.e., that a crown should not be placed on him at the wedding.

But this custom is not observed either in the Church of Constantinople or in the Russian Church, as Nikita, Metropolitan of Irakli, noted in his response to Bishop Constantine, and therefore crowns are placed on second-weds as a sign of union and power over future offspring.

Usually, the procedure for second marriages occurs when the bride and groom enter into their 2nd or 3rd marriage. If one of them enters into a first marriage, then the “great wedding sequence” takes place, that is, they are married for the first time.

Note.

Days on which weddings are not celebrated:

Every Wednesday and Friday throughout the year.

On the eve of Sundays and holidays (twelfth holidays, holidays with vigil and polyeleos and temple holidays).

From the Meat Week during Lent and Easter Week until the Resurrection of St. Thomas.

The rite of betrothal is performed in the vestibule of the temple or at its threshold, while the sacrament itself - the rite of wedding - is in the middle of the temple, i.e. in the temple itself. This indicates that the place for betrothal is not actually a temple, but a house, and it is a family or private matter. Betrothal is the most important act of marriage among all peoples with its careful conditions, contracts, guarantees, etc. In ancient times it was only a civil act. But since Christians had the pious custom of beginning every important matter in their lives with the blessing of God, here too the Church gives them the blessing for betrothal as one of the most important affairs in life, but blesses it not in the church itself (entering which, it is proposed to “put aside all worldly things.” care"), but only on the threshold of the temple. Thus, everything that is worldly and carnal in marriage is removed beyond the threshold of the temple and the sacraments (M. Skaballanovich).

In some places in Western Ukraine, betrothal, to enhance its meaning, is accompanied by an oath of allegiance taken from the Metropolitan's Trebnik. Peter Mogila and read as follows: “I, (name), take you (the name of the bride) as my wife and promise you fidelity and love (and the bride adds “and obedience”) marital; and that I will not let you go until death, so help me, Lord, One in the Trinity, and all the saints.”

That is, when censing, it marks the cross with a censer; This is how in ancient times censing was done with a censer, which was not on a chain, but on a special holder.

The rite, when the bride and groom with lighted candles are solemnly introduced by the priest from the vestibule into the temple, generally resembles the solemn taking of the bride to his home by the groom or his friends, which, along with the betrothal, constituted the very essence of the marriage ceremony in the Old Testament religion and in the Roman religion. religion. Here the meaning is that the Church invites the groom to take the bride to the house of God before his home in order to receive her from the hands of God.

“The bride and groom are asked before God about the voluntariness and inviolability of their intention to enter into marriage. Such expression of will in a non-Christian marriage is its most decisive moment. And in a Christian marriage it is the main condition for a physical (natural) marriage, a condition after which it must be considered concluded (why in Christianity they do not marry Jewish and pagan marriages). But as for the spiritual, grace-filled side of marriage, the work of the Church is only now beginning. That is why now only after the conclusion of this “natural” marriage does the church wedding ceremony begin” (Prof. M. Skaballanovich).

The priest says the second of these prayers facing the newlyweds and with the words: “May he bless you,” he blesses them.

On dismissal, the priest reminds the newlyweds that marriage is pleasing to God (a reference to the marriage in Cana of Galilee), the holy purpose of family life, imbued with concerns for the salvation of people (the memory of Saints Equal-to-the-Apostles Constantine and Helen as disseminators of orthodoxy) and the purpose of marriage in preserving chastity, purity and virtuous life (the memory of Great Martyr Procopius, who taught twelve wives to go from their wedding clothes and joys to martyrdom for the faith of Christ with joy and joy, as at a wedding feast).

There are no instructions in the Trebnik to bless second marriages with candles. But according to existing practice, before the betrothal they are given lighted candles, which signify the light of grace of the sacrament being performed and the warmth of the prayerful feelings of the newlyweds (Manual on the Nikolsky Charter and the Church Vestn. 1889).

Liturgics: Sacraments and Rites

01 / 05 / 2006

The modern generally accepted rite of marriage, or more correctly, the rite of church blessing of marriage, developed in the 16th-17th centuries. Until this time, you can find different options. But the basis remains unchanged to this day. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the history of the sacrament of marriage and a brief background diagram: what parts does this rite consist of and what do they mean.

History of the wedding sacrament

As we know from the Bible, and specifically from the books of the Old Testament, marriage appeared in paradise before the fall of the first people - Adam and Eve. And the Lord himself created marriage. As for the description of the marriage ceremony, it cannot be found in the Old Testament, but from some indirect quotes we can conclude that historically it consisted of two actions separated in time: betrothal (engagement) and, in fact, the wedding. This scheme was universal for both the Jews and the entire Greco-Roman world, and then, along with the spread of Christianity throughout the world, it came to other countries, including Rus'.

In the New Testament we also will not find a clear description of the rite of marriage. Nevertheless, it is known that the first Christians already had such a concept as “church marriage.” At the end of the 1st - beginning of the 2nd century, Ignatius the God-Bearer wrote in his Epistle to Polycarp that “Those who marry and are given in marriage must enter into a union with the consent of the bishop, so that the marriage will be O Lord, and not out of lust. Let everything be for the glory of God".

At the same time, a man and a woman who once accepted the Sacrament of Baptism and became members of the Christian community, and then entered into a church marriage, at the same time had to legalize their union before secular law. Christian apologetic literature, for example, the Epistle to Diognetus (about 200 after Christ), says that Christians “marry like everyone else.” The Epistle of Athenagoras (about 180 after the birth of Christ) states that “each of us has a wife, whom he married according to the laws established by us, for the purpose of procreation.”

The rite of Christian marriage began to take shape closer to the 4th century. For example, a tradition arose of inviting a bishop or priest to a wedding feast. The priest read a special prayer at a home holiday, thereby sanctifying the marriage of the newlyweds. The separation of family celebrations and church Sacraments occurred later. Special prayers for this Sacrament and rites appeared (a sequential, detailed presentation of any divine service).

Wedding ceremony

Betrothal (engagement)

Betrothal is an independent rite. It can be separated in time from the wedding. In practice, already in the 15th century it was usually performed together with the wedding. According to tradition, the betrothal takes place not in the temple itself, but in the vestibule - as a sign that the bride and groom have not yet become united in marriage.

The order of rites is as follows:

The priest carries the Holy Cross and the Gospel from the altar.

Then he blesses (baptizes) the bride and groom light the wedding candles, gives them into their hands, takes the censer and burns the censer.– Candles symbolize spiritual triumph, Divine grace that will abide in marriage, and the love that the hearts of the spouses will (should) burn towards each other. Cross-shaped incense means the invisible, mysterious presence of the grace of the Holy Spirit, who performs the holy Sacraments of the Church.

The priest loudly proclaims: “Blessed is our God...”– Every sacred ceremony begins with praise to God.

Peace Litany (a series of petitions (requests) to God)- the same as at any other worship service.

Betrothal prayers- the basis of the rite of betrothal, known since the end of the 8th century. In the first prayer (“Eternal God, who has gathered together in unity...”, the betrothal of Rebekah to Isaac is remembered and a blessing is asked for the betrothed. In the second (“Lord our God, from the tongue of the Lord we betrothed the Church to the pure virgin...”) a blessing is asked for the betrothal, peace and unanimity in life. future spouses.

Engagement – The priest puts the rings on the newlyweds and then switches their places. This happens three times. Historically, the husband was entitled to silver (early manuscripts usually speak of iron), and the wife – gold: a woman’s ring should cost more. There is no symbolism here, it just used to be a custom to give the bride or her family a marriage gift. If the gift was accepted, it was considered a guarantee of a future wedding.

Today, the exchange of rings has a symbolic meaning: it is a sign of an inextricable, eternal union between spouses. Before the betrothal, the rings are placed in the altar on the right side of the holy throne, as if in front of the face of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. The rings are changed three times in honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity, which accomplishes and approves everything (sometimes the priest himself changes the rings).

Closing Prayer- “Lord our God, who came to the youth of the Patriarch Abraham in the midst, sending his master Isaac’s wife to despise him...” It asks for God's blessing on the betrothed couple.

A special litany (a series of petitions to God)- the same as at any worship service.

There is an assumption that in Byzantium church betrothal could be a sufficient form of marriage: in the manuscripts there are indications that after the betrothal the spouses could begin family life. In the manuscripts after the ceremony of betrothal there are the following words: “If they want (at the same time) to get married,” that is, “if they want (at the same time) to get married...”. And then comes the wedding.

Wedding

has the following order:

Read Psalm No. 127(“Blessed are all who fear the Lord”) - a kind of reminder to those getting married about what true happiness lies in. It contains these words:

“Blessed are you, and good will come to you. Your wife is like a fruitful vine in the countries of your home. Your sons are like new olive trees around your table.” That is, the wife will give birth to many children who, like olive trees, will grow and prosper.

The priest, together with the bride and groom, move from the vestibule to the temple and stand on a towel (a piece of fabric like a towel) in the center of the temple - The wedding takes place in the middle of the temple, because the husband and wife become one.

The priest pronounces a word of instruction to the wedding couple

Next he asks the bride and groom about their desire to get married- found only in the missals of Russian publications (and those dependent on them). Metropolitan Peter (Mogila) borrowed them from Western practice in the 17th century, since then they have become part of the ritual. There are no such questions in the Greek missals; sometimes something similar to them is found.

The priest proclaims: “Blessed is the Kingdom.”

The priest says three prayers for those getting married and places crowns on their heads.(if the crowns do not fit in size, witnesses should hold them on the heads of the newlyweds) - The crowns on the heads of the newlyweds are a symbol of royal crowns (in the newly created family, the young will be like kings and founders of the clan) and at the same time martyrdom (the feat of a Christian marriage is compared to martyrdom).

Having placed crowns on the heads of those getting married, the priest turns to God with the words: “Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor.”

Prokeimenon (verse sung before reading Holy Scripture), Apostle, Gospel– Traditionally, the passage is read Eph 5.20-33 (about marriage as a visible image of the union of Christ and the Church and about the mutual responsibilities of spouses) and John 2.1-11 (about marriage in Cana of Galilee).

A short, intense litany

Prayer about the newlyweds- one of the oldest in the rite of wedding.

Litany of Petition

Singing the Lord's Prayer in chorus.– The appearance of this prayer in the wedding rite is due to the fact that previously, during the wedding, the newlyweds received the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Sometimes other elements of the full liturgy were added, for example, the litany of thanksgiving after Communion. Today this - like Communion - is not included in the wedding rite.

The priest blesses a common cup of wine and gives it to the bride and groom in turn to drink from it– In ancient times, there was a special ritual and blessings of the first cup at the wedding feast. In memory of this, the bride and groom partook of a common cup of wine at the beginning of the wedding feast. The ritual became part of the wedding rite around the 8th century. Today there is a widespread belief that the common cup replaced the Communion of the Holy Mysteries. This is not true. Greek manuscripts indicate both cups - the Eucharistic and the common.

Today the connection between the common cup and the wedding feast has been lost. The cup symbolizes an indication of the unity of the spouses in everything. The spouses partake from the cup three times, in turn (in modern practice, the rest of the wine is usually drunk by the bride, although Greek manuscripts note that this should be done by the groom. One of the 15th century manuscripts describes the obscure custom of pouring the rest of the wine on the heads of the newlyweds).

Next, the priest joins the hands of the newlyweds and circles them three times around the lectern - a church table-stand on which the Cross and the Gospels lie. The choir sings holiday chants - troparia.

– Troparia (“Isaiah rejoice...” and “Holy Martyrs...”) appear in manuscripts from the 15th century. Initially they were sung during the procession of the newlyweds to their chambers. Over time, the solemn procession to the house of the newlyweds (replaced by a procession around the lectern in the temple.

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The last saying of the apostle: let the wife fear her husband - calls not for the fear of the weak before the strong, not for the fear of a slave in relation to the master, but for the fear of saddening a loving person, of disrupting the unity of souls and bodies. The same fear of losing love, and therefore the presence of God in family life, should be experienced by the husband, whose head is Christ. In another letter, the Apostle Paul says: The wife has no authority over her own body, but the husband does; Likewise, the husband has no power over his body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, unless by agreement, for a while, to exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance ().

Husband and wife are members of the Church and, being parts of the fullness of the Church, are equal to each other, obeying the Lord Jesus Christ.

After the Apostle, the Gospel of John is read (). It proclaims God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification. The miracle of the Savior turning water into wine prefigured the action of the grace of the sacrament, by which earthly marital love is elevated to heavenly love, uniting souls in the Lord. The saint speaks about the moral change necessary for this: “Marriage is honorable and the bed is undefiled, for Christ blessed them in Cana at the wedding, eating food in the flesh and turning water into wine, revealing this first miracle, so that you, the soul, would change” (Great canon, in Russian translation, troparion 4, canto 9).

After reading the Gospel, a short petition for the newlyweds and a priest’s prayer are said on behalf of the Church, in which we pray to the Lord that He will preserve those who were married in peace and unanimity, that their marriage will be honest, that their bed will be undefiled, that their cohabitation will be immaculate, that He will make them worthy to live until old age, while fulfilling His commandments from a pure heart.

The priest proclaims: “And grant us, O Master, with boldness and without condemnation to dare to call on You, Heavenly God the Father, and say…”. And the newlyweds, together with everyone present, sing the prayer “Our Father,” the foundation and crown of all prayers, commanded to us by the Savior Himself.

In the mouths of those getting married, she expresses her determination to serve the Lord with her small church, so that through them on earth His will would be fulfilled and reign in their family life. As a sign of submission and devotion to the Lord, they bow their heads under the crowns.

After the Lord’s Prayer, the priest glorifies the Kingdom, the power and glory of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and, having taught peace, commands us to bow our heads before God, as before the King and Master, and at the same time before our Father. Then a cup of red wine, or rather a cup of communion, is brought, and the priest blesses it for the mutual communion of husband and wife. Wine at a wedding is served as a sign of joy and fun, reminiscent of the miraculous transformation of water into wine performed by Jesus Christ in Cana of Galilee.

The priest gives the young couple three times to drink wine from a common cup - first to the husband, as the head of the family, then to the wife. Usually they take three small sips of wine: first the husband, then the wife.

Having presented the common cup, the priest connects the right hand of the husband with the right hand of the wife, covers their hands with the stole and places his hand on top of it. This means that through the hand of the priest the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever. The priest leads the newlyweds around the lectern three times.

During the first circumambulation, the troparion “Isaiah, rejoice...” is sung, in which the sacrament of the incarnation of the Son of God Emmanuel from the Unartificed Mary is glorified.

During the second circumambulation, the troparion “To the Holy Martyr” is sung. Crowned with crowns, as conquerors of earthly passions, they show the image of the spiritual marriage of a believing soul with the Lord.

Finally, in the third troparion, which is sung during the last circumambulation of the lectern, Christ is glorified as the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope in all circumstances of life: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, the praise of the apostles, the joy of the martyrs, and their preaching. Trinity Consubstantial."

This circular walk signifies the eternal procession that began on this day for this couple. Their marriage will be an eternal procession hand in hand, a continuation and manifestation of the sacrament performed today. Remembering the common cross laid upon them today, “bearing each other’s burdens,” they will always be filled with the gracious joy of this day. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses, greeting them with words filled with patriarchal simplicity and therefore especially solemn:

“Be magnified, O woman, like Abraham, and be blessed like Isaac, and be multiplied like Jacob, walk in peace, and do the righteousness of the commandments of God.”

“And you, bride, have been magnified like Sarah, and you have rejoiced like Rebecca, and you have multiplied like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law; therefore God has been so pleased.”

Then, in the two subsequent prayers, the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and immaculate in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, with the newlyweds bowing their heads, these petitions are sealed with the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing. At the end of it, the newlyweds testify to their holy and pure love for each other with a chaste kiss.

Further, according to custom, the newlyweds are led to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride kisses the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied accordingly: the groom - to the icon of the Mother of God, and the bride - to the icon of the Savior. Here the priest gives them a cross to kiss and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.

What should a wedding meal be like?

The Sacrament of Marriage is celebrated solemnly and joyfully. From the multitude of people: loved ones, relatives and acquaintances, from the shine of candles, from church singing, one somehow involuntarily feels festive and happy in the soul.

After the wedding, the newlyweds, parents, witnesses, and guests continue the celebration at the table.

But how indecently some of those invited sometimes behave. People often get drunk here, make shameless speeches, sing immodest songs, and dance wildly. Such behavior would be shameful even for a pagan, “ignorant of God and His Christ,” and not just for us Christians. The Holy Church warns against such behavior. In the 53rd canon of the Council of Laodicea it is said: “It is not appropriate for those attending marriages (that is, even relatives of the bride and groom and guests) to jump or dance, but to sup and dine modestly, as is appropriate for Christians.” The wedding feast should be modest and quiet, should be free from all intemperance and indecency. Such a quiet and modest feast will be blessed by the Lord Himself, who sanctified the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence and performance of the first miracle.

What can hinder a Christian marriage?

Often, those preparing for a wedding first register a civil marriage at the registry office. The Orthodox Church considers civil marriage to be devoid of grace, but recognizes it as a fact and does not consider it illegal, fornicating cohabitation. Nevertheless, the conditions for marriage under civil law and according to church canons differ. However, not every civil marriage can be consecrated in the church.

The Church does not allow marriage more than three times. According to civil law, a fourth and fifth marriage is allowed, which the Church does not bless.

A marriage is not blessed if one of the spouses (and especially both) declares himself an atheist and says that he came to the wedding only at the insistence of his spouse or parents.

A wedding is not permitted if at least one of the spouses is not baptized and does not intend to be baptized before the wedding.

A wedding is impossible if one of the future spouses is actually married to another person. First, you need to dissolve the civil marriage, and if the marriage was church, be sure to take the bishop’s permission to dissolve it and give his blessing to enter into a new marriage.

Another obstacle to marriage is the blood relationship of the bride and groom and the spiritual relationship acquired through succession at baptism.

When there is no wedding

According to the canonical rules, it is not allowed to perform a wedding during all four fasts, during cheese week, Easter week, and during the period from the Nativity of Christ to Epiphany (Christmastide). According to pious custom, it is not customary to celebrate marriages on Saturday, as well as on the eve of the twelve, great and temple holidays, so that the pre-holiday evening does not pass in noisy fun and entertainment. In addition, in the Russian Orthodox Church, marriages are not celebrated on Tuesdays and Thursdays (on the eve of fast days - Wednesday and Friday), on the eve and on the days of the Beheading of John the Baptist (August 29/September 11) and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 14/27). Exceptions to these rules can be made due to need only by the ruling bishop.
Cm. .

A wedding is a ritual during which a guy and a girl simultaneously rise to several levels - they become a man and a woman, and begin to be called spouses. The deep sacrament takes place not in the registry office, but in the church. It is not a lady from a state organization who takes the young people across the invisible line of the sacred union, but a clergyman - a priest. Future newlyweds must take the wedding ceremony seriously, the rules of preparation of which require thoughtfulness and spiritual responsibility from the couple.

What you need to know about weddings

Misunderstanding of the full depth of the ritual can be made up for by preparing for what is happening not only in the organizational part, but also in the spiritual part. To do this, you can talk with couples who have gone through this stage, with a priest or other people who are models of Orthodox obedience.

Motives for the sacrament

All young people who want to have a wedding ceremony during a wedding can be divided into 3 groups:

• those who want a beautiful and magnificent celebration with all the points of the holiday - painting, wedding, feast;
• those in whom one of the couple understands the full depth of what is coming, and the second agrees “for the company”;
• those who, in their integrity as a couple (both the bride and the groom) are spiritually filled individuals and plan this sacrament with all responsibility.

The wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church is performed so that the future union receives God's blessing. This is peace in the family, support and understanding of each other, strength to survive moments of crisis, remain faithful and give birth to healthy children.

Three important questions about ritual

You can avoid the unpleasant hesitation that arises after the question: “Why did you get married?” by knowing the meaning of such a solemn sacrament as a church wedding ceremony. In addition, there are nuances that young people should learn about before coming to the temple.

Question No. 1: “Who can get married?”

Answer: “Baptized parishioners who were married the day before in official government bodies. The girl must be 16 years old, and the young man must be 18.”

Question No. 2: “Is it permissible for a girl to be pregnant at this time?”

Answer: “Yes, because the church is in favor of children being born in a union blessed by God.”

Question No. 3: “Who shouldn’t get married”?

Answer: “The following are not allowed to participate in the ceremony: couples in which one of the spouses enters into a fourth official marriage; couples where someone is someone else’s godfather or godson; blood relatives."

Preparing for a church celebration

Couples who have never attended such an event are always interested in how the wedding ceremony goes. You need to seriously prepare for the ritual. This includes the organizational and spiritual stages. The appearance of young people is no less important.

Organizational preparation for the ceremony

1. Finding a church: you can go around those that are nearby. It is important to listen to yourself and choose the one in which you feel calm and comfortable according to your inner feelings.
2. A conversation with the priest, during which they agree on a date (there are restrictions on days and holidays), receive permission to film, find out how long the wedding ceremony in the church lasts and how its cost is determined. Some places have a fixed price, while others are based on a voluntary donation.
3. Select candidates for guarantors - they must have experience of legal married life and be baptized. If such people are not among your good friends, then you can do without them.

There is nothing complicated in the rules of the wedding ceremony, but they must be strictly adhered to.

They prepare a wedding set - these are rings, 2 candles, icons (images of Christ and the Virgin Mary), scarves for candles and a towel, symbolizing the couple’s life path. The listed items remain in the family forever.

Spiritual preparation and appearance

The couple must pray, go through the rites of communion and confession. Fasting is required, both in terms of food and in terms of the body (refuse food of animal origin and sex). This is followed for at least three days. It is important that the bride and guarantor do not have “critical days”. To do this, they calculate the cycle and adjust the date of the ceremony.

The general rules regarding what is acceptable for visiting a temple remain the same in this situation. For the bride it is:

• closed knees, shoulders and chest;
• lack of lipstick on the lips;
• covered head (veil or headscarf).

There are no special requirements for a man, since a wedding suit fits within the required framework.

How does the wedding ceremony take place?

The couple’s worries about how the wedding ceremony is going in the church go away if they know what awaits them within the walls of the temple. The sacrament consists of 2 stages - the betrothal and the wedding itself.

The couple at the entrance, after the blessing of the priest, receives lighted candles. They are in the hands until the end of the ritual. Then a prayer sounds, during which rings are exchanged three times from the girl’s hand to the man’s hand and vice versa. Only after the engagement can they be called bride and groom.

The ceremony takes place in the center of the temple. A man and a woman stand on a towel. The priest asks questions about whether this is a voluntary decision and whether there are obstacles to a church marriage. After the answers received, the priest begins a prayer, during which the guarantors hold crowns over the heads of the couple.

At the end of the ceremony, these crowns will need to be kissed, wine from the chalice will be drunk 3 times and, at the invitation of the priest, a walk around the lectern will be made. At the Royal Gate, the husband kisses the icon of Christ, and the wife kisses the Mother of God, and after that they become spouses before God himself.

Kissing an icon - an expression of respect and humility

This is not just a ritual, but a spiritual rite that carries enormous power. Thanks to her, the spouses maintain their union even in the whirlpool of the most difficult trials. And this is not to mention the everyday little things that unmarried couples stumble over and ruin their marriage.