Psychologists unanimously assure: the best way out from any situation - this straight Talk about your feelings. And yet, many of us find it difficult to decide to be sincere in our relationships with our partners. Oddly enough, the more we value a man, the more difficult it is for us to confess our love to him.

First of all, there's still life in us social stereotypes that in a couple the man should take the initiative in everything, and the woman should wait passively and seem indifferent.

Secondly, we are afraid of hurting our ego. “By confessing our feelings, we run the risk of mentally exposing ourselves, showing our vulnerability in front of a loved one, and the fear of this is a very powerful experience,” explains the clinical psychologist Alisa Galatz.

Well, thirdly, we are simply afraid of losing our loved one, and with him the relationship (or the illusion of it) that we had. “For example, some people prefer not to clarify anything with their partner, afraid to find out how he really feels about them,” the specialist notes.

At the same time, mature, full-fledged relationships are impossible without openness, emphasizes psychologist and coach Alena August. “The adult position is to openly discuss what is happening, what suits or does not suit whom. This is better than worrying on the sly and inventing something that may not exist,” says the expert.

In what situations is it better to express your feelings and how to do it? Let's take a closer look.

You are just friends

If the man of your dreams is your colleague, neighbor or childhood friend, then the question immediately arises: is it better to leave everything as it is or try to move the relationship into the romance phase? As Alena August emphasizes, men and women are built differently, and therefore you should not expect that your lover will understand the meaning of your languid glances and sighs.

And if you don’t want to miss your chance, it’s still better to have the courage and speak directly about your feelings. Of course, in this case, you must be mentally prepared to accept a possible refusal with dignity.

“You have the right to declare your condition, but not demand anything in return. A person may have his own life, his own relationships, but he may simply not be ready,” adds the psychologist.

In addition, before confessing, it is better to weigh all the factors and assess how strong your feelings really are, and whether you both will be comfortable communicating further in the event of his refusal. Will work relationships suffer? Will you be able to look into each other's eyes in the company of mutual friends?

Perhaps after this your self-esteem will be shaken, but think for yourself: it would be much worse if you hoped in vain and waited for unknown things.

Your couple status is unknown

Sometimes, especially at the beginning whirlwind romance, it can be difficult for partners to understand what exactly connects them - sex or a serious relationship. “It’s possible that your man doesn’t even think about the status of your relationship, because he already feels good with you,” notes Alena August.

But if such uncertainty bothers you, then it makes sense to clarify the situation, emphasizing how important this is for your mental comfort. And before confessing, decide for yourself what exactly you want from a relationship, and whether you are ready to give up what you want if your partner has other plans for you. For example, will you become simple if you dream of a family and children?

If you become a coward and remain in a “suspended” state, then over time your relationship may simply collapse. Instead of liveliness and brightness, tension, resentment, and discontent will appear.

You've been dating for a long time

Even those partners who are together long years, are not always in a hurry to confess their love to each other. For some women, this does not matter, and some suffer and wait until they hear the cherished three words.

In this case, again, it is worth taking into account male psychology, reminds Alena August. After all, for many representatives of the stronger sex it is more important to show their feelings through actions rather than words.

“And there is no need to force a man to do this, he feels differently. It’s better for you to sincerely talk about yourself, about your experiences and feelings - in the words that you can and know how,” notes the psychologist.

Well, don’t forget that a man’s reaction to your sincerity is an excellent indicator of whether he is suitable for you in principle. And if, for example, he turns a conversation about feelings into a joke or calls it stupid, then is it worth staying close to this person?

How hard it is for a girl to tell a guy about her feelings. You don't know for sure what the answer will be. Fear of losing hope for happiness, losing friendship and a natural feeling of embarrassment, and if we add to this the general misconception that the guy should be the first to confess his love, then it turns out that the task seems impossible. Understanding this, I would like to give some advice to those who still decide to open their hearts to a man.

There are two ways to tell a man how you feel. The first is the actual declaration of love, simple and ingenuous. The second, more subtle one is signs of attention, subtle hints that you are not indifferent to him.

Men don't fewer women obsessed with various “signs”. Here are some of them:

1. A casual glance, a sweet smile and he can be at your feet. “She smiled at me, she probably likes me,” I’ve probably heard similar speeches.

2. In conversations with his friends, you can casually mention him, say how good or sweet he is. They will certainly pass on your words to him. Men are terrible gossips.

3. Easy, non-committal flirting.

4. Write him some SMS with a banal “Hello. How are you?".

5. In a conversation with him, you can hint that you haven’t been to the cinema for a long time or really want to go ice skating. If he is not stupid and determined, he will certainly take advantage of the opportunity.

In general, I think my train of thought is clear. Use such tricks and perhaps you will not have to do anything else and he will complete what you started.

However, based on personal experience, I came to the conclusion that The best way To confess your love is to say everything directly. If you agree with me, then here are some tips on how to do this:

1. Cast aside all doubts. You may be afraid to admit your feelings to a guy, because this is natural, but you should not doubt them. If you feel that he is the one, the one and only, the one with whom you will be happy, who is able to give you love and lay all the blessings of the world at your feet, then you simply must tell him how dear he is to you. But if you have even the slightest doubt, do not rush to confess. First, sort out your feelings and resolve all doubts, and only then act.

2. Seize a moment when he is alone, or offer to meet under some plausible pretext. Forget about calls and SMS messages. You must tell him this face to face. Movements, gaze, facial expressions, gestures - he must see it all. This is the only way your words will sound most sincere, lively and convincing.

3. If you find it difficult to cope with anxiety, try to imagine in advance what and how you will say. Don't memorize a prepared speech. This is not election campaigning. The right words will come by themselves.

4. Some people advise being extremely restrained and relaxed when confessing. This advice has the right to live if you are cold-blooded by nature. If you are expressive and emotional, then excessive restraint can only do harm, especially if the guy is familiar with your character and habits.

5. Look into his eyes, watch his facial expression. Sometimes the answer is known already in the first words.

6. If the guy is in no hurry to answer, don’t despair. After all, he may be surprised, confused or embarrassed. Give him time to think.

7. Perhaps he will say “No.” In this case, it would be foolish to advise you not to get upset. It doesn’t matter whether you love him or you just like him, refusal will sadden you. Just remember that you accomplished a great feat and turned out to be stronger than many other women who, having never decided to confess their love, then, many years later, regretted it and wondered how their lives would have turned out if they had shown a little more determination then .

Good luck to you and remember, you are the creator of your destiny!

Deya Consuelo

Discussion of the article “How to tell a man about your feelings”

Lerka Rogacheva

Damn guys, forget all this love!? Yes, that’s all, I’ve loved him for 3 years and I realized that all this is a pathetic waste of time and he STILL doesn’t care. Mutual feelings are called love, not when you are with him, and he feels like he’s hitting the wall, this is not love, this is like living in agony every day, listening to him shower you with insults. And when alone, he immediately becomes calm, all THIS IS JUST ADVICE FOR THE HOPELESS. I LISTENED IT BECAME A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE I TRIED 1 YEAR AGO I have nothing more to say. Forget, no matter how much it would hurt to let go, FORGET HOW I FORGOT IN TORMENT.
(Pockpunty)

oh sad

I’ve been liking it for a year already, we communicate, I’m still afraid 😣

Anyuta

And I just wrote “stop dreaming about me.” and we got the hang of it and now everything is fine. he said it’s good that I took the first step. This is how men are, indecisive

veronica

People, help me, I really like one guy, you can even say that I love him, and he likes my best friend, but she herself is in love with another, everyone is trying to bring us together, but nothing works out for them. His friends have already talked to him and he replies that I’m just a good friend to him. He doesn’t see me as a girl, he sees me just as a friend. and that I haven’t already tried to be with him, but nothing worked out.

Bunny

Maybe I’ll try. And you, Katya, learn to love, you’re still young). I’m 14 and I just now understood what love means and what sympathy means.

Yana Romodanova

I'll do it this way

Christina

I love him very much but he loves someone else:

Varvara

Let's try!

Lisa

What should I do??

Lisa

Damn, these tips didn't work for me.

Galina Kazhevnikova

He refused

Galina

Damn he said no

Vasek

Katya, fifth grade, scribe, you don’t need to think about snotty love. Study, read, do what you love, find new hobbies, make new friends. What kind of love can there be here?

Men and women have the same rights, so a woman is not prohibited from declaring her love first. But representatives of the fair sex still dream of hearing a declaration of love from their beloved man before they themselves admit their feelings.

It is very difficult to talk about love, but it is even more difficult to wait for recognition and doubt. Why are guys in no hurry to reveal their souls to a girl? How can a girl tell her beloved about her feelings without scaring him or being rejected?

When and why do girls confess their love?

If a girl has waited for a declaration of love, it is easy and pleasant for her to talk about her feelings. Knowing for sure that she is loved, the girl confesses her love with sincere joy and a feeling of happiness.

When feelings overwhelm the soul, they are difficult to hide, they ask to come out, words of love fall from the lips by themselves. Confessing your love to your loved one is a need and a burning desire. How best to satisfy her depends on the love story experienced by the woman.

A girl declares her love when:

1. Wants to hear a “yes” or “no” answer. When a girl loves a man, she wants to express her feelings and hopes to hear a positive response. And even a “no” is better for her than the unknown. This happens if a girl doesn't have love relationship with beloved man; she loves or thinks she loves unrequitedly; a man is too timid to be the first to admit his feelings.
2. Wants to hear “yes.” The girl thinks that she is loved, but doubts it, wants to get a specific answer from her beloved. This happens when a guy and a girl have been dating or being friends for a long time, but no recognition or proposals are received from the man. A man can express love different ways, show it in actions, demonstrate it in behavior, but do not talk about it directly.

A girl decides to confess her love to a man because she wants certainty.

A woman wants to know whether it is worth spending time on a man, whether reciprocity is possible, whether he really loves or is it an illusion.

The guy doesn't confess his love or leaves when:

• timid, shy, complex;
• afraid to push away, to frighten the girl with confession;
• afraid to hear “no” in response;
• I am convinced that the girl should confess first;
• morally not ready to confess;
• doubts that he loves or the need to confess;
• does not love;
• believes that a girl should already see love in actions and actions.

In any case, the girl needs to be told about sincere and strong feelings, whatever the reason for the man’s silence.

When you tell your loved one about your feelings, you can get four possible answers:

• yes, "I love you too"
• no, "I don't love you"
• neither yes nor no; a vague answer, when it remains unclear whether a man loves him or not,
• silence; when a guy leaves a girl without an answer, laughs it off or changes the topic.

It’s good when a guy answers “yes” or “no” sincerely and directly, but it’s worse when the answer is unclear, untrue, or simply not there.

Whatever the answer, you need to analyze it, draw conclusions and make a decision on how to proceed.

The older a woman is, the less ready she is to wait for a long time for a decisive step and recognition from a man, so she is more likely to confess first.

A popular saying says: “It is better to do and regret than not to do and regret.” Is it better to confess your love to a man than to remain silent and tormented by doubts? Moreover, if it is no longer possible to restrain your feelings!

How to confess your love in words

You can confess your love by accident, in a fit of feelings. If a girl excludes such a possibility for herself, she should meaningfully prepare for confession.

How to confess your love the best way, so that it would be at the right time and place?

• Make up your mind. First of all, you need to answer honestly the question: “Do I really love? Will the confession be sincere? Sometimes a girl uses blackmail for her own selfish purposes. Don't play with feelings and words. You need to confess your love simply because you love it and want to say it.

• Guess the answer. In order not to be afraid to utter words of love, you need to assume the possible answer of your loved one. If he answers “yes”, the girl will be happy, if “no”, she will also be happy, but with another man who will love her. If the answer is inaccurate or ambiguous, she will decide to continue the relationship/communication or not.
• Think about how to make a confession. Love includes wholeness and experiences: sadness, joy, fear, passion, anxiety, happiness and so on. What emotion will be heard in the confession? Words are less important than how they are said. Voice volume, tempo, intonation will speak for themselves. The phrase “I love you” can be said with a smile and joy, or with tears in the eyes and deep sadness.
• Find a place and time. - an intimate moment. It’s better to confess your love one-on-one, in a calm environment, when no one is in a hurry. You shouldn’t do this in hustle and bustle, noise, or surrounded by people. If a man does not hear the words, does not have the opportunity to answer, or someone unexpectedly interrupts the conversation, the declaration of love will turn into a farce.
• Words of love. You can tell a person for a long time about how dear, important and irreplaceable he is, but you can only make it clear that you love him by saying “I love you.” Words are better than “I love you!” people haven't figured it out yet.

It’s difficult to talk about love; you can get excited, scared, lose the power of speech and self-control. Preparing for recognition will help avoid such incidents.

Ways to confess your love without words

In addition to saying words of love, there are others:

1. Write. A note, letter, postcard, SMS and other ways to transfer feelings to media. Words of recognition can be formatted into a poem, song, drawing, or sent as an audio or video file. There is a lot of room for creativity here; any creative idea will help you declare your love in an interesting way.
2. Express it in action. How to confess your love without saying or writing a word? Do something that they do only for each other loving people. Love is expressed in selfless care, help, support, respect, and acceptance of a person as he is. For example, visit your loved one when he is sick, bring him medicine and fruit.
3. Hint. If a girl doesn’t know how to confess her love to a guy and no way to directly express her feelings helps, you can drop a hint. Not all men understand hints. Therefore, it is better to make them expressive and unambiguous. For example, prepare a heart-shaped dessert especially for him.
4. Non-verbal ways to express love: smile, look, touch, kiss. Flirting and coquetry without words tell a man that a woman is in love with him. When a woman looks at a man with a smile, with a sparkle in her eyes, wants to be closer in the literal and figurative sense, this can be seen in her behavior. There is no need to be shy and constrained in the presence of your loved one.

You can confess your love by combining several known methods or come up with something completely new.

It is important to confess your love to your loved one sincerely, with an open heart and soul. This is a brave act that, in any case, will change your life for the better.

Talking about your love is the same as opening your soul, losing protection, and not every woman can decide to do this. After all, the one who will now know your terrible secret , may hurt your tender heart

, devoid of the usual armor. How to talk about your feelings? You can do this directly and categorically, or you can do it more subtly - hinting to the man that you are not indifferent to him.

Secret signs Men don’t really like it when a woman does something for them, so you shouldn’t change roles with them. Since it is accepted that the guy should determine the dynamics of the relationship, then your task is to give him signs , which he, if he wants, will perceive exactly as you need. Let it be considered that hints for them - dark forest

, they gladly take advantage of the occasion given by a person they like. What kind of reason could this be? Smile at him without looking away from his eyes.

In just a few seconds, he will understand what you like. And if he has liked you for a long time, he will definitely take the opportunity to get to know each other better. Are you having a nice conversation with him? Start a conversation about a new movie that you would really like to see. Invite him to lunch or ask him to show you a good place to eat.

Compliment him You can act more decisively than just hint. If the guy takes care of himself, notice how well the shirt fits on his athletic torso. Are you afraid of such blatant coquetry? Praise not his figure, which in itself has a sexual connotation, but his achievements or mental abilities. For example, ask to solve some problem or suggest a way out of some problem. When he copes with this, tell him that you really like communicating with smart men.

If you are already dating

The candy-bouquet period has dragged on, but for some reason you don’t like it? Probably already I want to Serious relationships, not flirting. To tell a man about this, you need to choose the right moment. Of course, the conversation should take place in private in a calm environment and relaxed atmosphere. Looking into his eyes, say that he has become very dear to you, describe his merits and in conclusion, be sure to say that you are happy with him. Leave the declaration of love until the moment when the guy himself says the cherished three words. He will intercept the conversation himself; if this does not happen, at least you will not feel awkward by confessing first.

No sentences like “Let’s live together” need to be said. Give the man time to digest the information received and decide for himself whether it is worth taking the relationship to another level now, or whether he should wait.